by Dr. Susan Block.     

I’m a virgin on Callin, but when I spell v-i-r-g-i-n on social media, I get censored by the Megamachine. So, I’m “Vergin’ on Callin,” meaning it’s Capt’n Max‘s and my first trip on the Love Train, which is also a Peace Train, not a Bullet Train (though maybe a bullet vibrator)—on a brand spanking new platform (more on spanking in a minute)!

Last week, our first nonviable attempt at a Callin show had to be aborted, and fortunately, show abortions are legal on Callin. So this week is our new (and final) first show, and though there’s a first time for everything, there’s only one first time for anything. You never get to have a second first time. Though we sort of do with “Vergin’ on Callin.”  Does that make me a Born Again Vergin’?

More important, it looks like we human apes are vergin’ on Armageddon… unless we follow The Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure, female empowerment, male well-being and sharing resources, aka sex, fun, wisdom… And that’s what we deliver to our new Callin congregation (Amen and Awomen): Be Bonobo: Make Kink Not War.

Speaking of Kink, it’s Kink Month, so Happy Bonobo Kinktober and Halloween Spooky Season’s Beatings! Spooky can be sexy, as long as it’s consensual. Practiced in the arts of consent, kinksters are great negotiators. We should send some to Ukraine to negotiate peace with Russia. A great Dominatrix could pacify Putin… if NATO will let her.

Spooky can be kooky, kinky, fun, even funny. But Halloween is also the eve of the Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos), reminding us that cosplay and roleplay are great fun and fantasy, but death is all too real and takes us all.

RIP Kay Parker of “TABOO” fame. Photo: L’Erotique

Unfortunately, it just took a couple of our favorite people, and on this show we pay tribute to both, starting with Kay Parker, star of the iconic Taboo series, a beloved friend, legend of the Golden Age of Adult Cinema, the quintessential MILF and ultimate Mom Fantasy as Barbara Scott in Taboo. I was honored to interview Kay at the Hollywood Show and on The Dr. Susan Block Show.

Then we say RIP Barbara Ehrenreich, one of the most bonoboësque authors of our times, perhaps best-known for Nickel and Dimed, whose book, Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy, deeply inspired my own concept of communal ecstasy.

We send bonobo sisterly support to my late great Counterpunch publisher Alexander Cockburn’s niece, Olivia Wilde, Don’t Worry Darling director and current or ex-lover to Tao Ruspoli (remember Tao?), Jason Sudeikis and Harry Styles, to namedrop a few. Intensely creative director that Olivia is and spicy love life that she appears to have, she is being unfairly (but all too predictably) targeted by the Mainstream Media’s obsession with shaming female sexual power. We all know the MSM gossip wing loves to serve up sex with a side dish of neo-Puritanical shame, but it hurts all the same. Olivia Wilde, you “wilde” bonobo gal, you’re an erotic artistic hothouse powerhouse, and more power to you.

More topics: Free Assange. Cancel Kanye (for now). Free Palestine. New Coup Anon developments (will Trumpty Dumpty testify?), fascist thuggery in the Capitol and E. Jean Carroll’s case against the Trumpus (with Mary Trump’s DNA). What’s wrong and right about Congressional candidate Alexandra M. Hunt “Right to Sex” concept and Mike Itkis’ porn-positive campaign for Jerry Nadler’s seat. Listen to Abby Martin’s Dosed on Callin. We did, and now here we are.

And what about the God Forbid: The Sex Scandal that Brought Down a Dynasty filmmakers calling Jerry Falwell, Jr. and hotwife Becki “freaks” because of their cuckold relationship with a pool boy? They’re not freaks; many normal couples enjoy cuckolding, swinging and other kinks and fetishes. The problem is that they’re hypocrites… like many religious people. And good riddance to hypocrisy.

We also take a couple calls from Callin’ers who don’t even “call,” but just press a little icon to talk to us. First is Shardoll who agrees with us that spanking children and corporal punishment that the Republicans are trying to bring back wrong, but spanking consenting adults can be a great way to have a Bonobo Kinktober, as well as porn star Stormy Daniels’ (his favorite) way to discipline the Trump Baby, an OTK spanking.

Then we talk with Jeff, aka Emogee, who loves Chris Ryan, Sex at Dawn and Civilized to Death almost as much as we do, and sounds like he could be Vergin’ on The Bonobo Way. Though he’s listened to several other shows on Callin, FDR is the first one where he’s actually “called in.” He calls towards the end, so we can’t go too deep, but he likes to “share” and seems bonobo, and since it’s his first call on Callin, he’s a Vergin’ too.

Next on Callin: Vergin’ No More!

“Vergin’ on Callin” Transcript

MAX
We’re in?

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah.

MAX
Hello callers in! Call us.

Dr. SUZY
Are we on the train already?

MAX
We’re on the train. We’re choo-chooing away. This this show comes to you from a mystical train.

Dr. SUZY
I think it’s a runaway train tonight because I didn’t even realize we were going to get on.  In fact, it’s early!

MAX
It’s early? We can’t be on early.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we are. We’re on five minutes early. Suddenly we’re on the train without warning, and we haven’t even packed our bags.

MAX
Were supposed to be late all the time.

Dr. SUZY
Usually, we are late.

MAX
We’re always late. This is not your regular radio that you listen to every day, and it’s certainly not your over the air radio. This is a different kind of radio. It’s very intimate and it’s all about sex, fun and wisdom.

Dr. SUZY
And being taken by surprise by my engineer.

MAX
Oh yes, that happened, but okay, relax.

UNSCENE ABE
Oh, let me get let me get your screen fixed.

Dr. SUZY
I’m not relaxed at all. I need a Valium. I need to go back in time when everybody used to take Valium.

Well anyway, this is our Virgin Show.

MAX
This is our second Virgin Show. Actually, we may have to have a third Virgin Show and a fourth Virgin Show. How is everybody out there? Are you all good? Everything OK? Did you get shot at today? Did your neighbor go nuts on you? You know we’re going to talk about all those things, and in particular tonight I would like to talk about—

What’s matter, Dr. Susan?

Dr. SUZY
Just all kinds of hallucinogenic changes are going on with my devices, so I’m not sure what’s going on, but now I see that there are people gathering in our room and we are now in the dining car of the Love Train, which is also a Peace Train, and a little bit of a Runaway Train, because you never know when we’re starting, what’s going to happen or when we’re going to go off track, maybe even in the very beginning of the show.

But one thing’s for sure, this is not a Bullet Train… unless you mean a bullet vibrator.

MAX
So, we kind of tried to be on here a couple of weeks ago. We failed miserably, but tonight we seem to be on the right track.

Dr. SUZY
We’re not sure though.

MAX
We’re not sure, we’re not sure.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we got off on a wrong track because it started before I knew it was starting.

So, let us know if you want to join the conversation. Either you could write to us, or you could speak maybe. I think you can call in on Callin without even calling in.

That’s what’s amazing, and so we are very excited about that. If you would like to actually speak, you can put yourself into the Speakers Section. But first, I think we should introduce ourselves, which we of course did not do, because suddenly it’s like, “You’re on!”

MAX
Right, oh right, we didn’t.

UNSCENE ABE
We did OK.

MAX
We didn’t do this last week, OK.

Dr. SUZY
But it’s technically called the “Vergin’ on Callin” show because we are virgins on callin.com in the sense that we tried to do a show last week, but it didn’t work so tonight is our first show, our Virgin Show, though we can’t call it “virgin” because that word could be censored. It has gotten me censored on LinkedIn and other channels, so we are spelling “virgin” like “Vergin’” which we also are… vergin’ on doin’ this show and getting it going down the track.

MAX
How about we introduce ourselves?

Dr. SUZY
Well, we are.

MAX
OK. Go ahead.

Dr. SUZY
I’m introducing us by explaining that this is technically our first time on Callin, and there is a first time for everything, but there’s only one first time for anything. You never get to have a second first time… except, of course, we are right now getting to have a second first time.

MAX
You could get a second virgin.

Dr. SUZY
You can’t be a virgin for a second time.

MAX
No, no you can’t be.

Dr. SUZY
You’re going to get us censored by talking that way about virgins. “Get a virgin…?!”

MAX
Sorry, I’m just kidding.

Dr. SUZY
OK, by “virgin” or “vergin’,” we mean it’s our first show, and yes, because it’s our first show we should introduce ourselves. So, I will first introduce my husband, Capt’n Max AKA Prince Maximilian Rudolph Leblovic di Lobkowicz di Filangieri, who is a Prince on both his Lobkowicz and Filangieri sides, as well as a great and pioneering publisher and producer and storyteller.

MAX
And storyteller, and I’m old. I’m getting very old and but today I got. I got my 78th birthday gift.

Dr. SUZY
Right, I gave it to you.

MAX
Yeah, which is a wonderful, cool and cheap and nice—It’s a smart watch, but it’s not made by any of the phone companies, so it doesn’t look like a smart watch because I hate those plastic. I don’t know. Pay $400.00, $1000 and you get a plastic thing.

Dr. SUZY
Right, and your new watch looks very heavy metal.

MAX
This is heavy metal and just so you know I have since before we started the show a little while ago, I have walked half a mile.

Dr. SUZY
All right, well, good for you.

MAX
That’s what the watch is telling me, so yes, so I’m an old publisher. I’ve been around for a long time. Suzy is my beautiful partner and wife.

Dr. SUZY
You’re just going to call me Suzy?

MAX
Oh, no, no, no, Dr. Suzy.

Dr. SUZY
No, that’s OK. Just call me Suzy, the Horny Housewife-Next-Door, and that’s basically who I am.

MAX
So, I just want to explain something: This show doesn’t have any kind of limits or rails or specific things that happen. We just talk about people, and humanity and sex. But most of all, something that we seem to have lost around the world. And that is the word “wisdom.” Where has all our wisdom gone?

I wrote that song right before I showed.

Dr. SUZY and MAX (singing)
Where has all the wisdom gone?

MAX
That’s really good. I’m going to write that tonight.

Dr. SUZY
The “flowers” is what the original was, so the wisdom is in the flowers, isn’t it? Where have all the flowers gone?

MAX
What was it? Oh yeah. Where have all the flowers gone? Right, right, right.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, it’s an old song.

MAX
OK, then we’re going to get sued and censored and full for using their tune.

Dr. SUZY
No, I think we bastardized it enough.

MAX
Oh, good enough.

Dr. SUZY
Although we might get censored for saying “bastardized.” But anyway, we have people on here who we might not know who are saying that the show is supposed to start at 9:00 PM. Like Mr. Bert Sesame Street.

MAX
Wait a minute, we did… We started early.

Dr. SUZY
We started early and so he’s kind of saying hey.

MAX
Yeah, right? That’s highly unusual though.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, I too was taken by surprise to Bert, so I feel your discomfort and yet excitement at the fact that we’re actually doing a show this time.

Yes, indeed, brothers and sisters, this is our Virgin Show, and it’s like a dirty word these days, a four-letter word with six letters. It’s a little tricky to use, but we’re “Vergin’ on Callin” and what we talk about on this show is sex, politics, and bonobos, and we are Vergin’ on Armageddon unless we follow the Bonobo Way. That’s my view. So be Bonobo.

MAX
Be Bonobo. Do you guys know what a Bonobo is out there?

Dr. SUZY
They can find out as we talk.

MAX
As we talk.

Dr. SUZY
But in a nutshell, bonobos are the Make Love Not War chimpanzee, but we also call them the “Make Kink Not War” chimpanzee, because they are the kinkiest apes on Earth. They have a lot of sex, of course, and they empower the females with a lot of female solidarity. And the males are OK. Not just OK, but happy, happy, happy, something that’s missing, maybe, from the #MeToo movement. They could take a page from the Bonobo Sisterhood, where they’re not even blood sisters, but they really support each other. It’s very cool, so we follow the Bonobo Way, partly because all this bonobo stuff, including sharing and caring, leads to peace through pleasure.

And we are sex therapists. I am a sex therapist, a sexologist.

MAX
And a sex bomb.

Dr. SUZY
A sex bomb?

MAX
Sex bomb.

Dr. SUZY
Wait, what’s that?

MAX
It’s a little bomb with sex.

Dr. SUZY
I guess that’s better than a nuclear bomb.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
So, my husband says I’m a Sex Bomb, which is cool, but I am against other types of bombs. I am against war. “Make Kink Not War” is one of my mottos, and “Stop Censorship.” That’s one of the reasons we’re here on Callin, is we’ve been censored on many channels, and we will probably be censored on here too. But we’re trying it out. So, we try to celebrate sexuality, not violence and guns and war.

MAX
Excuse me, I need to ask our engineers, OK.

She has all kinds of people that she can see on her screen, and I can’t see anyone. Oh yeah.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, I have… She has a highly sophisticated—

MAX
How to watch you?

UNSCENE ABE
System let me let me…

Dr. SUZY
See if you could help him.

MAX
Now I’m…

UNSCENE ABE
Let me build this.

MAX
We’re virgins and we’re old people.

Dr. SUZY
We’re virgins… Vergin’ on Callin… I’m also Vergin’ on Sneezin’ because I’m a little congested, thought I do not have Covid.

MAX
Go ahead.

Dr. SUZY
I just have sinus sensitivity, so if I sneeze, some of you will be excited, if you have a kink for that. I actually have a client with a fetish for women sneezing, and it is kind of a climactic release, although it doesn’t feel as good as an orgasm. Quite the contrary. But a quick orgasm, I think, in some languages, is called a sneeze.

It’s kind of kinky, and it is Kink Month, so Happy Kink Month, if you’re tuned in live, Happy Kinktober, Happy Kinky Girl Halloween! It’s the spooky season! And scary and spooky can be sexy as long as it’s consensual. It gets a little tricky to establish consent for spooky sex, but if you’re kink-. educated you can make spooky sexy. Try a little bit of sensory deprivation, a blindfold, a little bondage, if you trust your partner. You’ve got to trust, and you know, lust can sometimes blind you to trust. That’s kind of challenging, but it’s worth paying attention to, because kink is the spice of life.

Kinksters are also great negotiators. We should send them to Ukraine to negotiate peace with Russia. I think a great dominatrix could probably disarm Putin… if NATO would let her.

MAX
Haha, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Anyway, we talk about sex on this show, as you can hear, and politics, as you can also hear, and bonobos.  And you can talk with us if you like.

MAX
And we’re on the Left Coast by the way. This is the Left Coast if you know what that means.

Dr. SUZY
It means we’re Lefties, sexy Lefties.

MAX
Sexy lefties are radical lefties who believe in good things for all people.

Dr. SUZY
Which is a little spooky to some people.

MAX
Certainly, to the Republicans who are trying to be like Putin.

Dr. SUZY
Did you say “poopin’” or Putin or “Poopin’ Putin”?

MAX
Putin is making number two.

Dr. SUZY
Putin sure is poopin’ all over the infrastructure of Ukraine. And there’s now a pitched battle. I was reading n Counterpunch an article by a colleague that says that when you’re in a pitched battle like this, where the sides are basically after each other, and for one reason or another, they’re kind of evenly matched, THIS is the time to make peace.

Now me being a peacenik, I would say any time is the time to make peace, but experts say NOW is the time, not when one side is really seriously winning, but now when folks from both sides have something to lose and something to gain from negotiations.

I know it’s spooky to all you warmongers to negotiate with what you’re now being told is pure “evil,” but it’s the best way to end war… if we want to do that, if we don’t really want to enter another Perma War, which is my phrase for Forever War, but it’s a little less romantic and more focused on the toxic chemicals of Perma Press…. which are much worse in Perma War.

We love peace through pleasure embodied by the bonobos. And we lean to the left, and it is the spooky season, and so we’re talking about kink a lot and speaking of both, we just released a video “Make Kink Not War” at DomCon, which is the premium convention for kinksters and Lifestyle and professional Doms and Subs, et cetera. So, we are talking about kink, peace, love, sharing and the spooky season… So, you can share your spooky secrets, if you dare. Or you can ask a question. Or you could tell a story. Capt’n Max loves stories. He loves his own most, but he does love others sometimes.

MAX
I like stories about… I love stories about myself. In fact, every Friday night I tell you a little bit about my life on this same network here.

Dr. SUZY
Right!

MAX
And what I also want to say, one of the reasons we’ve moved over here first of all… One of my very, very favorite journalists, an honest journalist, Abby Martin—

Dr. SUZY
Yes, Abby is on Callin along with Mike Prysner, who joins her on most of her Callin shows, and they’re occasionally joined by Abby’s brother Robbie Martin. She keeps hosting in the family, I guess, but of course, she does interview all kinds of people on her show “Dosed,” and we interviewed her on our show a few years ago.

You actually discovered Abby Martin when she was on RT, Russia Today, which she was on for quite a while, doing a fabulous show.

MAX
Right, absolutely.

Dr. SUZY
It was really very hard-hitting, state-of-the-art and sexy lefty show on Russia Today. More lefty than sexy, though Abby’s very sexy. But then Putin got kind of imperialist, and he invaded Crimea. And soon after that, Abby left.

MAX
Yeah, you know, just let me warn you or something. I know you’re all very busy on your computers and playing games and doing all that.

Your freedom and this democracy are being threatened by the people that exploit you. The billionaires, the Republicans want to overturn democracy.

Dr. SUZY
And that one of the reasons for the initials of this show, which is FDR, we’re a little afraid to say what it stands for.

MAX
Yes, it stands for “F” the Rich.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, that doesn’t pack the same punch.

MAX
No, no, but you know, and the last letter of the word is K.

Dr. SUZY
OK.

MAX
Yeah, and you—

Dr. SUZY
F Asterix CK.

MAX
Have it yeah. And I wanted to say one more thing besides me.

Dr. SUZY
Fuck Da Rich.

MAX
Who said that?

Dr. SUZY
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

MAX
After looking at a lot of these platforms and so forth, it seems to me now… I’m not sure that people on Callin have a little higher intellect, perhaps? You know? Maybe a little more wisdom.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we’ll find out.

MAX
Yeah, we’re going to find out soon enough. Now you know.

MAX
This place is called Callin, so we’ve got like, I guess 13 listeners and you can call us.

UNSCENE ABE
To be a caller on the show tonight, you don’t need a phone number.

MAX
Yeah, how do you do that? OK.

UNSCENE ABE
But to call in during the week, you could give out that phone number.

MAX
OK. Oh yeah. So, during the week, if you have a crisis of some sort, and you’re about to go nuts and shoot your daughter in another car because you’re having a shootout, you can call us during the week at—

Dr. SUZY
213-291-9497.

MAX
Or if you want to talk to us tonight, then what do they do to just press something, yeah?

Dr. SUZY
They just that to put themselves in the speaker category. This is a new situation, but that’s why we call it “Vergin’ on Callin.”  And yes, it’s Kink Month, so kinky can be spooky and spooky can be sexy or fun or funny. But Halloween is also the eve of the day of the dead, and we have some sad news… both from the adult industry and the Lefty industry, which I know shouldn’t be called an industry. Actually, I think they both should be just fields, fields and fields, beautiful fields, not industries that sound so industrial and polluting.

Anyway, the sad news in the world of adult is that Kay Parker, the star of Taboo, who also was called Kay Taylor Parker recently passed away. Kay was the quintessential MILF, the ultimate mom fantasy, as Barbara Scott in the movie Taboo. Actually, it was a series and she starred in the first two episodes of Taboo, and they were quite iconic and could never have been made before or since. Really, you can’t make movies like that now, and if you’ve seen it then you know what I mean.

And if you have these types of taboo feelings. I’m not recommending doing anything, but people have taboo feelings and there’s nothing wrong with just having the feelings. Acting on them is another story entirely, but having the feelings, well, a lot of people have them. So, Taboo has been a series that has long affected people. In a way, Taboo has spoken for people and their fantasies about their own moms, and especially that first episode in which Kay Parker just knocks your socks off as hot mom Barbara Scott.

MAX
Were you in that, weren’t you?

Dr. SUZY
No, no, I was in another one, as a cameo playing myself. It was not a porn role.

MAX
Oh, okay.

Dr. SUZY
They just show me doing my radio show in the first couple minutes of Taboo 4, in which I’m interviewing the male star of Taboo 4 whose character had written a book about Electra fantasies.

MAX
And who is that? Who is that?

Dr. SUZY
I’m trying to remember the name of the actor. He was definitely a big adult star, but I didn’t know who he was at the time, and it didn’t register, but he was the star of Taboo 4, and Kay was not in that, so I did not prepare for this quiz.

I should have done all my research on everything related to Kay Parker, but all I want to say is that I miss Kay Parker and I am honored that I was a bit of a friend to her. We chatted here and there, back and forth, both publicly and privately, many times. Twice publicly, twice on my show, once at the Hollywood show at once at my studio. And both times, it was a very profound, intimate interaction with a very sweet, sensuous and spiritual lady, Kay Parker.

And I want to thank Robert Bertolino—I’m glad I remembered his name because he introduced us, and he’s a producer. He produces many different things from the East Coast to the West and he led us to the Hollywood Show and brought Kay. Kay Parker is just this tremendous actress, actually I have to say “was” now because she’s gone and so I have to say, goodbye Kay, the quintessential MILF. And also, what an incredible natural body, I must say just so kinky, big boobs and bottom and a slim waist, and just this face that could be your mother’s or your neighbors. Nothing too extraordinary, but pretty and open and I guess, F-able. Fuckable.

MAX
Yeah, fuckable.

MAX
The best scene—I love the scene in the movie where she says, “ahhhhhhh.”

Dr. SUZY
Ha ha ha. There’s a lot of great scenes in the movie, so I don’t know which one you’re talking about.

MAX
I know. I’m just kidding. Just kidding.

Dr. SUZY
I love the shower scene where she’s taking a shower while her son is watching. Taboo portrays a lot of fantasies, so it’s very powerful and very still controversial. Always controversial. Again, I’m not recommending any of this at all, or endorsing it, but it is powerful. It’s iconic. It’s archetypal. Freud called it the “Oedipus complex.”

MAX
And it’s something that is really taboo to talk about, but it’s very real, Susan, and it’s something we often talk about in therapy.

Dr. SUZY
So, also, we want to say goodbye to Barbara Ehrenreich, a great writer. Do you remember who she is? I don’t want to quiz you…

MAX
No, no, educate me.

Dr. SUZY
Well, her most powerful writing, in terms of us, would be her book, “Dancing in the Streets, a History of Collective Joy.” She’s probably most famous in the lefty world for writing “Nickeled and Dimed,” and she was a lefty writer and she got jobs as working class people, waitresses, different jobs like that, so she could better understand working people, and she really lived on those wages, and then she wrote about it.

But the book that I was affected by, of course, was her closest to hedonism. Because I do agree with her about all the socialism. But her book, “Dancing in the Streets, a History of Collective Joy” inspired me to conceive of, I guess you could say, the concept of communal ecstasy.

MAX
Yes, yes, yes.

Dr. SUZY
So, you know about that.

MAX
I know all about that.

Dr. SUZY
What do you know about that?

MAX
I have lived with it for over 30 years. Because before we did this radio show, we did a show for many, many years. First of all, you gotta be old enough.

We did a show on the public access. Right?

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, we were doing a radio show.

MAX
Yeah, we were doing a radio show, correct? And then we moved from our little radio studio because Dr. Suzy was in her condo and we’re doing this show about sex.

Dr. SUZY
On the Gentner device

MAX
Yeah, through the phone lines as usual—

Dr. SUZY
To a broadcast network of like 100 stations.

MAX
To a broadcast network. Yeah OK. Well, we were not… I guess I’m not supposed to say this, but we were on the ABC satellite at one time. Yeah, we rented that and then we were almost… and then on NPR SAT.

Dr. SUZY
NPR satellite.

MAX
Right, and that’s how we reached about a little over 80 stations or something, right? And in the South, the religious belt took the buckle.

Dr. SUZY
The belt buckle of the Bible Belt.

Dr. SUZY
And by the way, Jux Lii is here.

MAX
Oh, hi Jux.

Dr. SUZY
Jux actually makes belts, not so much to wear as to whack your partner, consensually of course, but they’re good whackers.

MAX
Oh, he makes belts.

Yeah, there’s a good business for that in the states where you can, you know, whack the kids you know you could sell them to the to the school boards.

Dr. SUZY
Haha, crazy… So, you guys are writing lots of comments, which I guess I’ll read eventually, but I hope somebody puts themselves into the area of speaking. Oh! Actually, someone just did.

I guess this is Shardoll.

MAX
Jux Lii.

MAX
Oh no, we can talk to them.

Dr. SUZY
I don’t know.

UNSCENE ABE
Alright?

Dr. SUZY
It also has the microphone off.

UNSCENE ABE
Want me to accept?

MAX
Yeah, put your—

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, let’s see what Shardoll is up to.

MAX
Put your microphone on OK, mixed microphone.

UNSCENE ABE
Alright, just unmute your mic and then join the call.

MAX
Yeah, here we go.

Hello?

Dr. SUZY
Hi Shardoll.

SHARDOLL (already talking)
…Because for me sex is kind of like something everybody needs to know about. I mean you know they need to know of how babies are made and everything like that.

Dr. SUZY
Making babies is only one aspect of sex, Shardoll, but you sound like you’re already engaged in conversation, so go on.

SHARDOLL
It’s like something… Yeah, so uhm, I mean like when somebody talks about paddling… I mean, I don’t agree with that because at that time it was OK for teachers to do that. But now?

Dr. SUZY
No, not teachers.

SHARDOLL
Now, I’m not saying teachers, but like in in general, I don’t agree with that type of punishment that parents do on their kids. You know it’s not allowed. I know they’re trying to teach their kids a lesson. Maybe they screwed up or they made a mistake and they’re trying to teach him a lesson. It’s not alright.

Dr. SUZY
Don’t spank your kids. That’s our motto. Only spank consenting adults.

MAX
The Republicans want to bring that back, yeah? They do and the studies the studies show that kids that are beaten or spanked…

Dr. SUZY
Have a lower IQ.

MAX
Have a lower IQ.

SHARDOLL
No, but I’m telling like yeah—

Dr. SUZY
Not to mention, kids who are spanked are more violent.

SHARDOLL
Go ahead, so when your kids make a mistake, you need to teach your kids in a better way. You know, rather than using forms of you know, abusive punishment like that you—

Dr. SUZY
Right, Okay.

SHARDOLL
I mean, if your kids make a mistake, teach them that you know, learn better though like you know you make a mistake you learn from it now.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, SHARDOLL, we agree.

MAX
Actually I want to add something to that… I think you’re absolutely right about that. Yes, and where we have failed my generation and the generation before us, we have not taught the children very well. We have taught the children violence.

Dr. SUZY
Now we’re handing them guns, yeah?

MAX
Now we’re giving them guns.

SHARDOLL
Also, when you when you look at that also the parents are also messed up like they’re just the parents are not good taught, right?

MAX
Oh absolutely.

Dr. SUZY
You bet Shardoll, that’s why we’re here. So did you have a question for us or did you just want to kind of talk about spanking.

MAX
Oh, that was interesting.

Dr. SUZY
But yeah, we agree with you. Don’t spank kids. Only spank consenting adults.

SHARDOLL
Yeah.

MAX
Do you have a question?

Dr. SUZY
We did a whole show on spanking when came out that certain schools were bringing back corporal punishment.

MAX
Do you have a question?

SHARDOLL
You gotta educate the parents.

Dr. SUZY
Are you asking us or just saying it?

SHARDOLL
Now, I’m just saying parents should be educated on teaching, not thinking there.

Dr. SUZY
Educated about what exactly? Because there’s a lot of people that are educating parents in just the opposite way, the Republican Christofascist MAGAt Coup Anon people say yes, spank your children.

MAX
They love violence.

Dr. SUZY
They say, “spare the rod, spoil the child,” and by the way, that’s not really in the Bible.

SHARDOLL
I mean, you could yell. I mean, I think yelling at your kids is also not a good thing, but that it’s much more bearable than spanking them.

Dr. SUZY
I agree.

SHARDOLL
You can yell at your kids. I mean my parents—My friends are yelled at.

Dr. SUZY
Are you a parent or are you a kid?

SHARDOLL
I’m a kid. I’m an adult and I got yelled at by my dad.

Dr. SUZY
How old are you?

SHARDOLL
26

Dr. SUZY
And where are you from?

SHARDOLL
Fremont, California.

Dr. SUZY
Oh OK, cool.

SHARDOLL
I got yelled at. I don’t have a problem with my parents yelling at me.

MAX
Right, but bonobos do that too.

Dr. SUZY
You do have a problem stopping talking, but you’re learning OK, it’s cool.

SHARDOLL
Yeah, thanks.

MAX
But thank you.

Dr. SUZY
Thank you for being our first caller on Callin.

MAX
Right and also—

Dr. SUZY
We’re virgins on Callin.

MAX
I agree that you need to educate the parents, but you need to educate the parents when they are kids.

Dr. SUZY
You need to heal the country, the society, the parents, the children we need to follow the Bonobo Way. We need to Make Love Not War. Make kink Not War.

MAX
The war.

Dr. SUZY
We need to honor our softer, empathetic side, not our warring side.

Now we have nuclear weapons, not just spankings.

So yeah, some of us have violence in us. Actually, all of us do, and so as adults, we should learn to channel it, if we have it, into spanking consenting adults. That would be kink.

Make kink, not war, Shardoll, make kink, not war. That is, if you want to spank somebody, don’t spank your kid or someone else’s kid… especially if you want to.

Being at your wits end is not a good excuse either, but that’s a better excuse than just wanting to because you think paddling a kid is the right thing. No, it’s not, and if that’s your problem, then you should find a consenting adult to express this with. You should learn about kink. You should follow the Bonobo Way anyway.

MAX
Thank you, yes.

Dr. SUZY
That’s what we’re about.

MAX
Thank you Shardoll, and keep peace up in Fremont too, huh?

Dr. SUZY
Make Kink Not War: Be Bonobo.

MAX
No, no shooting each other, no. This killing stuff is killing me.

Dr. SUZY
Well, it’s exciting that we finally had someone jump into the caller space. It seemed like he was already having a conversation when he came, which was interesting because that’s how the show started, like we were already doing it before we knew what we were doing, so it’s that kind of night.

It’s our Virgin Show, and we’re “Vergin’ on Callin”

MAX
Yeah, and we encourage you to call us and tell us your secrets, your wishes, your vision, your life, yes. How’s your life going?

Dr. SUZY
I’m a sex therapist. You didn’t really introduce me.

MAX
That, well, we’ve said that that my partner here, Dr. Suzy is a sex therapist, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
But it’s OK. It’s a sexperiment calling in on Callin. But you can also keep it private, but then we have to talk, you know at a reasonable fee, which you may not want to pay, so you may think about coming out of the closet of whatever kink you got and Calling on Callin and starting to talk.

MAX
Right here.

Dr. SUZY
Whether it’s about sex or politics, or even bonobos, whenever you talk publicly, you’re kind of coming out of the closet in a way you’re stepping out so that’s kind of exciting and it’s kind of scary, but we hope you do it… and I see Amor here!

MAX
Amor!

Dr. SUZY
Wow, Amor joined Callin.

MAX
I love Amor, oh my God.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, we all love Amor, and it looks like there’s two of her there on her picture.

MAX
Two Amors?

Dr. SUZY
I think it’s her and one of her twins kissing. She has several twins.

MAX
She is multiplying.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, yes, but she treats me as her mother, speaking of the whole mother fantasy. She calls me “mom” a lot.

MAX
Amor! Yeah, alright. Put yourself in the call thing.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, and so yes, there’s that type of Mommy fantasy among so many of us, and Kay Parker was the iconic Mom, and we have to hope that she goes somewhere good, somewhere wonderful.  She was so spiritual, you’d think if there’s anywhere good to go, she’d be on her way.

Same for Barbara Ehrenreich because she inspired me to take the idea of collective joy, which is really about the people like us engaging with each other without fear, with abandonment and with pleasure and turning the usual upside down. She wrote in her book about a time gone by, that the whole monotheistic megamachine took away from the people, the people of Pan, the people of pleasure, the people of celebration, the people of the wild. So, there were lots of celebrations that were out of control with collective joy, and now they’re all controlled by both the powers that be and the elements, Mother Nature is fighting back against us, because we have been so trashy

MAX
We’ve got someone saying that they love to watch porn.

Dr. SUZY
OK cool. But speaking of trashy, I didn’t mean trashy in the porn way. I meant we have been trashy in polluting our mother the earth with our plastic trash.

Speaking of mothers like Kay, we have been polluting Mother Earth, and yet so many of us think of the expression of sexuality as trashy.  I mean, porn can be good or bad. It’s not all good, but it’s not all bad. Some of it is better than other porn. I see @sgsportstalk says he loves watching porn. Nothing wrong with that. What kind of porn do you like?

Yeah, there’s always a favorite kind, or favorite porn star. Once you get into it, you start to diversify, just like if you’re a foodie, you start to like certain kinds of food and not others, or like in art or sports, you have your favorites.

MAX
Right. Have you ever watched some of our shows?

Dr. SUZY
Not that we do porn.

MAX
They’re not porn.

Dr. SUZY
But we include a lot of porn stars in our shows. We love porn stars. They are at the front of the war against sexual intolerance, a war we didn’t start, by the way, a war we don’t want to be in, but the Christofascists and the Islamofascists and the Judeofascists and the Hindufascists and the Buddhafascists, all the fascists against human sexuality have declared war on us. So we are just fighting back, wearing our lingerie as our camouflage and of course maybe it’s not lingerie. Maybe it’s just throwing soup on a glass frame of a Van Gogh. After all we have to make a statement somehow my dear, before it’s too late.

Oh, he’s answering me. “My favorite pornstar is Stormy Daniels,” says @sgsportstalk. We love Stormy Daniels. She is one of our favorites because she is both very sexy and certainly a porn icon at this point and certainly a patriot, as she has exposed the Trumpus, Trumpty Dumpty, and she has shown him for what he is: a hypocrite.

We like Stormy because she has exposed Trump, and she also exposed something interesting about him that I don’t think is being used against him: That he just responded to being spanked. Yes, she spanked him with his magazine where he had his face on the front and he tried to show off, saying “Aren’t I great? Doesn’t this make me sexy and powerful?”

No, it makes you a stupid egomaniac, actually, and you’re not even ruining the country yet. You’re just ruining my night. She was probably thinking that as she turned him over her knee and whacked him. Actually, I think she didn’t do it over the knee, but I like the idea of him over her knee in that Mommy posture which she took with him. In any case, after she spanked him, then he stopped trying to play games with her and he became submissive. Of course, being a proper sex worker, or a typical sex worker – nothing wrong with this – but once she realized what a jerk Trump was, she seemed to want to get the evening over with as fast as possible, which she did. He’d been stringing it out, but once she spanked him, he wasn’t stringing it out anymore. She got what she wanted and left.  See, somethings spanking works with consenting adults.

Amor Hilton says, “yay, I can type now!”

MAX
So, I want to tell him something because I’ve got all these famous stars that I see on my computer. You know, and some of them have false tits. Others have this and they’re making bazillions of dollars.

So, I just have to say that uh, Amor is one of my favorite performers and models and humans in Hollywood, and she can certainly out dress most of them way more. She’s a little better, yeah?

Dr. SUZY
Very beautiful, very sensual, very sexual—

MAX
By the way, we still have your fur coat here.

Dr. SUZY
And wild.

UNSCENE ABE
I’m laughing.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, we have her fur coat, you know, but we have other things of hers. Actually, we have a bra hanging from the antlers above. That bra that belongs to Amor…

MAX
Oh yeah, friend from the—

Dr. SUZY
Amor says, “I love you. I can’t out dress mum.” Right there, she is very smart, our Amor, handling two things, answering your comment about dressing and also reminding everyone that she calls me “Mama” because one of the sub themes of tonight’s show is the momma in your mind.

MAX
No, not really.

Dr. SUZY
Kay Parker was a Mama in many people’s minds. RIP Kay Parker. I would say Rest in Pleasure, but I don’t quite understand how you do that when you’re dead. Maybe you can do that, then great, do it. Rest in pleasure. Rest in peace. Rest in power sounds also funny to do when you’re dead, but hey, do all the good things for Kay Taylor Parker

And Barbara Ehrenreich, two great ladies that have passed away in the last little while. Often people pass away at this time of year, maybe that’s why it’s the Day of the Dead Halloween, Kinktober. Dr. Betty Dodson, the Godmother of Masturbation flew off on Halloween night two years ago and so hello, happy Halloween and Kinktobor Dr. Betty Dodson.

Ah, Amor loves us. Adriana is cringing about the belt jingling sounds ’cause she is, I think, from the belt buckle of the Bible Belt.

MAX
It is correct.

Dr. SUZY
So yes, those.

MAX
She was just saying about a friend who’s become a sex therapist. Yes, to deconstruct that philosophy that has brought us—

Dr. SUZY
Purity Culture.

MAX
Yeah, the Purity Culture that has brought us this violence.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, and Purity Culture brought us QAnon, which is a very sexualized culture that’s anti-sex.

MAX
QAnon, yes.

Dr. SUZY
It’s very strange and yet I say strange as a sexologist, but as an anthropologist I get it. It’s part of what’s happening to us as the megamachine takes control and the MAGAt Rebellion is part of that. It is on trial. I call it Coup Anon.

MAX
You know, whenever I see one of those photos and they’ve got one of these guys that you look into their eyes, and they’re fucking blank.

Dr. SUZY
Now there’s different types of people in the Coup Anon. There’s the QAnon, the fantasists who are often all dressed up in crazy outfits. And then there’s the Proud Boys who are militant like Hitler Youth.

MAX
They’re all going away for a while.

Dr. SUZY
And there are Oath Keepers who were run by a guy who graduated from Yale Law School, and they dress like they’re ready for battle.

MAX
And is he the one that—no, he’s not the one that started Vice. One of these guys started VICE Magazine.

Dr. SUZY
The Proud Boys, yes.

MAX
Proud Boys yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
And they are all kind of different in their personalities. And yet they all have antecedents in fascism.

MAX
They were talking about eating babies in the back of a pizza parlor.

Dr. SUZY
Yep, but how would you compare QAnon with Hitler/Mussolini like you would Proud Boys and Oath keepers are a little more direct comparison. But anyway, together they’re very powerful.

MAX
The brown shirts or the black shirts, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
The QAnon, but the fantasy of it that there’s this eating of babies, I guess that’s like the protocols of the Elders of Zion, and WOW, there’s a lot of violence and we could see it in these videos they’re showing lately, they’re very Hollywood. I will grant you that. And yes, Nancy Pelosi’s daughter, Alexandra is a Hollywood filmmaker, and she films Nancy Pelosi like she is a Bonobo matriarch up against the violent mob. This is a kind of “wild” I don’t like. I like a lot of wild things, but this is the primal horde of bloodthirsty thugs that Trump sent, and I don’t agree with Nancy Pelosi about a lot, especially her support for the United States War machine. But I have to say she defended her Capitol, which is shaped like a woman’s womb, on January 6th like a Bonobo matriarch, tearing into a Slim Jim while calling in the troops to defend it and keeping the government running as the mob was at the gate. And of course, her daughter filmed her to look like a Shero. So maybe it was a Hollywood movie, I don’t know.

I still don’t want that villain, Trumpty Dumpty, to be president, and he has been subpoenaed to appear… will he? Will he plead the 5^th like he did 600 times in that real estate trial? Or will he just stall until he has a Coup Anon Congress, and they throw it all out? Tonight, he’s holding a rally. And people are galvanized, about his Trump Force One phallic plane, it’s disgusting, but hey, you know what I’m excited about? E Jean Carroll is going forward with her case suing Trump for slander, saying he never raped her in Bergdorf’s, and Mary Trump is going to provide the DNA sample.

MAX
Oh my God, this is it.

UNSCENE ABE
That is it.

MAX
Is that a Polka dot dress kind of thing, yeah? OK.

Dr. SUZY
Kind of. She says he came all over her jacket.

MAX
He came over her jacket, and she still has the jacket.

Dr. SUZY
A dress coat, and she did not throw it away.

MAX
Alright!

Dr. SUZY
Yes, it happened in the late ‘90s and she did not throw it away. She has the DNA and she said it happened. He did it in Bergdorf’s in a dressing room.

MAX
He just jerked off or something?

Dr. SUZY
Well, he kind of roughed her up and then came on her coat. She says he fingered her forcibly.

MAX
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he said that publicly himself. You can do anything to him.

Dr. SUZY
That he does that grab ‘em by the pussy, yes, so he does that.

MAX
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, it’s one of his fetishes, one of his kinks, but not consensual.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
So, it’s not really a kink. It’s actually a paraphilia. When you do it criminally like that, it’s not a kink. Kink is something positive and people misuse the word as they misuse the whole activity as many people misuse this gift we call life.

Here we are on FDR, which we are allowed to say. Vulgarity is okay… so Harry says. So, it stands for “Fuck Da Rich,” as well as FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, our 32nd president, who was not perfect, but we admire a lot about him.

MAX
If you’re listening, if I’ve got bots listening right now, I just want to tell you that Fuck Da Rich is not really that. It’s about taxing them as many things—

Dr. SUZY
Many things.

MAX
Getting them, maybe we should do like in China. We should send the billionaires to reeducation camps so that they get a little different philosophy rather than thievery.

Dr. SUZY
The main thing is some form of taxation that would make them not so rich.

MAX
And that would make the world and the communities and the country… I mean, if you really want to care about this country or your home or where you are, you gotta pay a little more tax.

Hey, you’re not going to go broke but—

Dr. SUZY
That’s what FDR did to the rich.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And he did it to prevent communism in many ways because he saw what was happening.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And if you keep letting the rich get richer, there will be some sort of rebellion, some revolution, some violence and honestly, I’m not looking for that. It sounds romantic but it’s hard on people living through that.  I would rather see us do what FDR did and that is tax the rich a LOT.

I also think the rich pursue their riches the way that they do because they have sexual problems. And that is the other reason we call this show “Fuck Da Rich,” and they need a good, you know, something, whatever it is, it doesn’t necessarily mean the standard vanilla penis-in-vagina activity. In fact, it probably doesn’t.

We’re going to talk about that more in a moment. Maybe we should talk about that now because I was going to talk about this woman who’s running for something. She’s a failed candidate. I just have to find my notes on her ’cause I forget her name, but… her name is Alexandra M Hunt. And she is a failed, I guess… “Failed” is what some right-wing publication called her.

MAX
Yeah…

Dr. SUZY
She didn’t win candidacy for some sort of New York Congress position, and she talks about people having a “Right to Sex,” and she’s been pilloried for that, including by Jesse on Callin right here on this platform for putting it that way. It is a crude way to put it. I don’t know her, and I would like to actually. I wouldn’t put it that way because I don’t think she means that anyone has a “right to sex” with other people, and that’s how a lot of people think of sex, as a right to have sex with other people or make sex workers work with people they don’t want to work with. And by the way, she is a sex worker or former sex worker as well as an abuse or some sort of survivor. And she doesn’t mean that, but people think she does that, you know, somehow a “right to sex” means all the incels get to be fucked by sex workers and in fact they have to, the government forces people, and no, no, no, of course, she doesn’t mean that, and that’s crazy. But what I think she does mean, and what perhaps might refine it a little bit is a Right to Sexuality. Let’s say a right to have sexual feelings and express them in a way that doesn’t hurt people, maybe like masturbate or like having some kind of sex that isn’t mainstream, but of course consensual, and there is no obligation involved, but maybe “Right to Sexuality” isn’t even the best way to put it. But certainly, sex heals a billion times more than it kills, and right now, sex is being pilloried along with Alexandra M. Hunt.

So, we’re not sure we agree exactly with what you’re saying, Alexandra, but we do agree with the spirit, and it’s interesting how a lot of people perceive this and incels and they think that if you say this in relation to the incel category, which is mostly guys, even though it was started by a woman, so it’s very complex, as everything is. Incel is “involuntary celibate” and a lot of them are very misogynist and then a small percentage of them are violent and an even smaller percentage have committed mass murders. But I do think that a lot of the mass murders that aren’t identifying as incels actually are incels anyway. They’re just not happy with sex in their lives and a lot of guys are like this and you know, saying a “right to sexuality” doesn’t mean they have a right to sex with anybody, but they have a right to their sexuality and maybe to admitting something that a lot of them feel and are afraid to admit, like I don’t know, being gay. Anyway, it’s interesting that there’s lots more sex positive candidates running… and losing, yeah.

MAX
Did you see Leanne when she wrote, “In my experience that rich men are shitty in bed?”

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s why they pay for lessons.

MAX
Yeah, and that’s why they buy the big cars, and the mansions.

Dr. SUZY
Right, and that’s why we say “Fuck Da Rich” because they need lessons because they think their money makes up for it and it might buy you a sex worker. It also might buy you a wife, but then it gets you a very expensive divorce and you might get outed by the sex worker, and it’s pretty dicey.

MAX
Well, I mean…

Dr. SUZY
So maybe it would be better to learn how, as our friend here says, to be good in bed. What’s her name?

MAX
Who said that?

Dr. SUZY
You said that….  But Leanne Baby said it first.

MAX
Oh, Leanne Baby yeah.

Dr. SUZY
She also says, “The joke about big fancy, flashy cars and small penises gots a lot of truth to it.”  Yeah, Leanne, you’re right, it’s true, and part of the reason for that is because these small penises have no place to go, but big fancy cars… and a belligerent attitude.

MAX
And there’s a lot of assholes also who are very rich for whatever reason, and never mind the penises.

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s what she means.

MAX
Guys can be assholes. Yeah, true. You know, and on the other hand, we need them because they are the entrepreneurs. They make the world change, but then you need to pay.

Dr. SUZY
I don’t know if we need them so bad.

MAX
Well, no, I mean, they could pay their… They’re not going away.

Dr. SUZY
And I know I’m kind of hypocritical this way in a way because I wear glasses or contact lenses depending on the occasion, and because in fact I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for modern medicine. But I do believe our so-called “progress” has damaged the earth to the point of annihilation of the human race, and so many other species. It’s criminal what we have done because of people, mostly men, who channeled their sexuality into the pursuit of this kind of flashy car success.

I get it and I can’t say I’m totally against it. I’m part of the system. Hey, that’s what makes you afford private sex therapy with me. You pay for it. I have to be part of the system to survive. But I have to point out where that is yes, part of the system that is destroying us, and a little more loosening up might give us a few more years on our Mother the Earth in her bosom, which is so nice because we don’t know what lies ahead. Nuclear winter, though, we hear is bad. Mommy would be gone.

MAX
So, tough one. Uh, imagine you know what these are… All these people that run these countries? They’re all like alpha people. They are going to tell people how they can live, where they can live, and what they can say or not say, and it’s all over the world.

Dr. SUZY
Emogee, who’s that? “I’m sorry,” he starts with. He’s sorry. I wonder why sorry.

MAX
Why are you sorry?

Dr. SUZY
“But our culture is way too tolerant of production and development that is killing everything.” Emogee you don’t need to be sorry because I agree with you.

MAX
Totally good.

Dr. SUZY
I am anti-megamachine. I am pro Make Kink Not War. I know some kink involves a little machinery, but really most of it is about teasing, about the spice of life, it leads to Make Love, Not War. I say make kink, not war because love is great. I’ve been into Make Love Not War since I was a kid, but at the same time love creates war, love of country, patriotism and sometimes a love of a person can make you kill them. We’re seeing that lately quite a bit. I don’t think kink makes people kill as much, although it does, and it’s not kink then no, then that’s criminal, that’s what that’s being, I don’t even know if you should give it a sexual name.

MAX
Let’s see, I’m just looking at the comments here. We’ve got lots of nice comments.

Dr. SUZY
So, do you want to hear about Olivia Wilde or Kanye?

MAX
Olivia Wilde? Tell me Doctor, about Olivia Wilde.

Dr. SUZY
OK, because it’s gossip.

MAX
Well, first of all, who is she?

Dr. SUZY
She directed Don’t Worry, Darling, totally gossip. Because I haven’t even seen the movie which I want to see.

MAX
Who is she?

Dr. SUZY
She is the niece of Alexander Cockburn, who is of course the late, great publisher of Counterpunch, as well as the late, great brother of Olivia’s father, who is I think Andrew Cockburn.

UNSCENE ABE
OK.

MAX
Got it, got it.

UNSCENE ABE
Got it.

Dr. SUZY
And her other uncle is Well, Patrick Coburn if I have the names right, and he is a wonderful writer for Counterpunch.

MAX
She’s an actress.

Dr. SUZY
She’s more of a director now.

MAX
Director, yeah, yeah. OK, OK, OK.

Dr. SUZY
But also an actress, yes. She’s long been an actress and she is also the ex-wife of Tao Ruspoli, a fellow Prince.

MAX
The Italiano, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Right, who left me on the cutting room floor of one of his films.

MAX
Well, not nice.

Dr. SUZY
So, I left my feelings there too.

MAX
Ruspoli, I’m going to send you a limousine to pick you up.

Dr. SUZY
Ruspoli, what’s wrong with you? Well, he did another interview that he did publish on Counterpunch, which you could still find on the web if you look hard enough.

MAX
Right, it did. Also, it was good. It was OK.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, it’s good. It was about Bush.

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
And so he is her first ex, and then this other gentleman that she left Ruspoli for is Jason Sudeikis—am I pronouncing that right?

MAX
I have no idea.

Dr. SUZY
Anyway, he’s an award-winning actor and he supposedly was upset at her leaving, and because she made her next lover a salad with her “special dressing,” he lay under her car so that she couldn’t leave. So, then she went inside, and he followed her inside, and then she went outside again and then he lay down the car again, so says the nanny. They say it’s wrong. We don’t know what is actually true anymore than the movie. It’s all almost as fictional as the movie, all of this gossip surrounding her. Yet I want to see this movie. It supposedly has something to do with incels too, and it has to do with the ‘50s. You would like it.

MAX
I would like that.

Dr. SUZY
You would definitely like the cars, and there’s something about romance and orgasm in this movie, and I suspect—

MAX
I love the ‘50s cars.

Dr. SUZY
People that say she’s a terrible person… I suspect she’s being targeted for being a woman director who’s having a spicy love life. And of course, the media loves to serve up sex with a side dish of shame. And this is perfect for that, and I feel for her. And I guess I am not objective because she is the niece of Alexander Cockburn who I loved when he was alive and love in memory, I love you! But I could easily turn against her as saying not worthy of Alex or something like that. But no, I do feel she’s being targeted, and I haven’t seen the movie. I haven’t even seen anything she directed.

MAX
And why? What are they targeting?

Dr. SUZY
Because she left her husband.

MAX
Oh, OK.

Dr. SUZY
Actually, he’s not her husband. He’s the father of her children. There are children involved when there are children involved—

MAX
So, this is kind of another—

Dr. SUZY
It’s very up for grabs up for QAnon to start grabbing the situation.

MAX
Got it.

Dr. SUZY
And so, she is definitely in the sights of the gossip columns who love her sex life because it’s obviously active, which is not true of everyone, and she’s gorgeous, a MILF, and she’s out there having sex with different men and it’s very controversial, I guess.

MAX
Hey, I love that. I mean, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
I love that.

MAX
I mean, you know.

Dr. SUZY
But people are complaining about her and saying she had had a toxic environment and she lied.

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah. it’s all about the sex that they’re worried that they’re really talking about. Yeah, like this.

Dr. SUZY
Well, what many people say and what I agree with is that male directors often do these things, and no one says anything.

MAX
Of course, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Now she’s doing these things.

MAX
And then that’s like in the ‘50s, you were a whore.

Dr. SUZY
She’s a wild Bonobo female and she did choose the name “Wilde” with an E. So, she did choose the path she’s treading. If you become a celebrity nowadays, your private life is up for grabs. You get paid for it and that’s how it is, but I do feel for her. And even though she chose the name Wilde, and she chose the path she’s treading, it’s painful to have to be an icon and to be pilloried to be crucified for living an exploratory life. Olivia Wilde is a wild Bonobo female and an erotic emotional powerhouse and more power to her for all of that.

MAX
And the life sex is a healthy thing.

Dr. SUZY
Emogee says, “I’m guessing Dr. Susan has met or spoken with Chris Ryan.”

Dr. SUZY
Yes, of course. I’m a big fan of Dr. Chris Ryan’s. He is a little fan of mine. He did endorse The Bonobo Way, which I’m very proud of. And he has had me on his show, Tangentially Speaking, and I’ve had him on my show like four times.

MAX
I think so, over the years.

Dr. SUZY
And he’s really quite the rock star, Chris Ryan. He is the author of Sex at Dawn. And he is the author of Civilized to Death, and he’s a Bonobo lover like me, and we’ve taught each other a lot about bonobos, Chris Ryan, and I.

MAX
Well, you know Susan kind of revolutionized the whole ape thing. I always love Susan for this. When she gets involved in something, all of a sudden, she’s leading it.

Dr. SUZY
Well, I got involved with the bonobos in 1993.

MAX
I know, I know. And all the primatologists. Oh my God, the sex therapist who runs around in panties and on the show is talking about bonobos.

Dr. SUZY
And that’s still true, because Chris Ryan doesn’t run around showing his panties.

MAX
What is she now? That’s still true, right?

Dr. SUZY
Emogee is asking, “Did I read Civilized to Death”? Yes, I did. It’s a great book. I don’t know if it’s as earth shaking as Sex at Dawn. I think it was when he conceived of it, but the megamachine worked so fast… But anyway, it is great, and I should have him on again. He was just on Abby Martin on Callin.

We’re Vergin’ on Callin.

MAX
And Emogee, you know who Abby is, right? You know.

Dr. SUZY
Emogee says “The bonobo concept is powerful.” Yes, of course, and we believe in the Bonobo Way, the way of peace through pleasure primarily, but also female solidarity and male well-being.

MAX
And you can’t change the world in one day, but you can change yourself, and surround yourself with good with good things with good people with good philosophies—

Dr. SUZY
You could try.

MAX
That are not and have a good time. Fuck it anyway, alright?

Dr. SUZY
Well, we’re getting lots of comments. People are afraid to put themselves in the Callin area, but they are commenting, which I appreciate.

MAX
I don’t know if I want to talk to these two.

Dr. SUZY
That’s so the porn guy I want to tell him, I don’t remember his name, but he said he liked porn, so this third-party Congressional candidate for Jerry Nadler’s seat, Mike Itkis, just did to support his sex positive campaign. But it didn’t work. I mean, he didn’t win, but I think it’s interesting and he seems a little goofy, but it is interesting I say he’s goofy, but I must seem very goofy to lots of people, and I show my panties sometimes.

MAX
Do you have a wife that shows her panties?

Dr. SUZY
Well, I hope so.

MAX
I love that.

Dr. SUZY
So free Assange! I really wanted to say this last week, that Assange supporters surrounded the British Parliament. We’ve been talking about that for weeks, and Julian Assange is a journalist. He is not a bad guy. Free Assange! There were protests all over the world, including right here and we have supported Julian Assange since 2010. Actually, since before that, but we went really public with it in 2010. It’s just crazy. I still can’t believe it he’s still in prison.

MAX
He said since he released that video of the helicopter.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but we knew that.

MAX
And yeah, I mean we knew that. He showed that.

Dr. SUZY
But he showed that, and all the other big mainstream publications and channels picked it up and that’s why they say he had to be stopped, according to the Government of the World, I guess because America decided this, but somehow England is keeping him and somehow Australia is doing nothing about it, it’s horrible. Talking about government people doing something that the masses of people disagree with and moving forward with it for personal reasons.

Emoji says he had a stroke while on trial, the CIA made plans to kidnap and kill him. Yes, that’s true. We’ve talked about that, Emoji. You’re talking about stuff we talked about before, but the show was on other channels before, not Callin. We’re “Vergin’ on Callin.”

Yeah, but hey, we appreciate that Roger Waters is a huge advocate for Assange. I agree I have mixed feelings about Roger Waters.

Now last time we talked about Kanye was because he was saying he didn’t read. But he can spell “White Lives Matter” and he did on his shirt. And also, he said he was going Death Con. That wasn’t right. It should have been DEFCON with an “F” on Jewish people, and I as a Jewish person, you as a Jewish person… perhaps we should respond.

MAX
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me as a Jewish person who was Catholic before but then became Jewish.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, well, while he’s dropping Jewish names like he’s dropping beats to the protocols of the Elders of Zion, he’s being dropped by Bianlanciaga, and I’m pronouncing that wrong. And now he’s going to be represented by Johnny Depp’s lawyers. And he’s also starting a cult, or he has a cult, the Yecoystem.

MAX
These are the people from government and from entertainment and from different fields that are educating. The children now go around shooting each other and their parents.

Dr. SUZY
Right, and I want to say that I am a Jew for Palestine, though I am defending just being Jewish, I guess, Semitic which includes Arabs, by the way. I do not defend Zionists. I really don’t agree with Zionism. I grew up with Zionism. I grew up with the idea that Israel was a land without people for a people without land which was a lie, and you know what? I grew up with the idea that the United States was a land without people for the Puritans.

MAX
It’s right.

Dr. SUZY
Except there were these Indians.

MAX
Oh yeah, in India.

Dr. SUZY
But they didn’t count somehow. It’s like this kind of upbringing is crazy, but now I know what’s going on, and so I am a Jew for Palestine. But I am still a Jew, though non-religious, but I really don’t know what to say to Kanye, whose music I love.

MAX
Really? I never, really.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah. Oh yes you have, but you don’t like rap.

MAX
I have. Oh, it’s rap. OK yeah, I don’t like opera either.

Dr. SUZY
Of course.

MAX
Right. I like rock’n’roll baby, yeah.

Did you read Civilized to Death?

Dr. SUZY
Of course. I read it on Kindle.

MAX
We sell it on our site.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, of course we do. And we sell Sex at Dawn, and we sell The Bonobo Way and The 10 Commandments of Pleasure.

MAX
We’ve got a lot of good stuff here. A lot of good comments, and I love all you guys. Man, we are suddenly we’re making new friends.

Dr. SUZY
OK, OK, I got a note but I’m not sure. Do I have to do something?

UNSCENE ABE
Oh no, I was just saying, yeah, they’re the same person. And if you ever wanted to—

MAX
Yes, two accounts.

UNSCENE ABE
He’s the same account. It’s just that one of you know SGsportstalk was also calling.

MAX
OK. I was also going to call, or cool. I got you.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, it just didn’t see the name. When people call in, you only see the first name. When they send a message, you see the username.

MAX
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
I see. I got it. So, Emogee could also talk or anybody. Adriana, Jux…

UNSCENE ABE
Just to be clear.

MAX
You’re going to talk to us if you have question.

UNSCENE ABE
Oh yeah.

MAX
Even from Leanne Baby. It’s very easy. You don’t have to do anything. I guess you just press this.

Dr. SUZY
By the way, there is a documentary coming out about Jerry Falwell, Jr.

MAX
Oh, I thought you were going to talk about our documentaries.

Dr. SUZY
Well, no, I could, but no, at the moment I was going to talk about that.

MAX
Ah, go ahead. And the pool boy.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, yes. The cuckold relationship and that’s why I’m bringing it up. Because of course they’re bringing up cuckolding. I have an article myself on Jerry Falwell Junior’s downfall. I say it’s because of his hypocrisy. But they call them freaks. They’re not freaks, Jerry and his hot wife, Becki, and the pool boy. They’re just normal sexual beings. The pool boy is trying to make money now and people want to say that they’re freaks. They’re not freaks. Lots of people open their relationship like that, get into cuckolding, swinging, kink, it’s very common. The problem is that they’re hypocrite They preach against cuckolding, swinging in any kind of open sexual relationship and they run Liberty University. At least, they used to.

MAX
They used to.

Dr. SUZY
Now they don’t. But they used to and let me tell you, Liberty University is wreaking havoc on our world because of the hypocrisy at that university.

MAX
And the teachings, the teachings. Like the I won the election or the fake. They had nothing to do with reality or with our lives.

Dr. SUZY
And that to me, is really what brought them down, made the Falwells fall, and that’s the story, not that they’re freaks. But also, if you need to talk about cuckolding, I’m your expert. Call 213-291-9497.

UNSCENE ABE
Alright, we have somebody by the name of Jeff that wants to oh… That’s Emogee.

Dr. SUZY
Emogee Jeff, right.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, alright.

Dr. SUZY
OK, there he is. Hello Jeff Emogee.

MAX
Hello, yes, hi. How you doing?

JEFF
I’m good, this is my first time calling. I’ve been listening to others—not your show—but other people for quite a long time.

Dr. SUZY
Hello, man.

JEFF
I just found your show and it’s really fun. Cool.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we’re glad for you to be on our “Vergin’ on Callin” show.

JEFF
This is your first Callin show, yes?

MAX
We messed up the first one.

Dr. SUZY
So, we don’t count it.

JEFF
Callin is a little buggy, but it’s it seems really cool.

MAX
It’s a little buggy. Yeah, we’re here. Cool. Very cool work.

JEFF
And I think—like you have a decent sized crowd, but people seem to be hesitating to like join in and give their two cents.

Dr. SUZY
Right, but you are.

JEFF
There might be a bit of a learning curve.

MAX
But you are, you know.

Dr. SUZY
You are here.

MAX
That’s right, I think what a lot of people don’t know is that we have actually been doing this show for 35 years. First on public access—

JEFF
I’m here, yeah. I’m shy.

MAX
And then on satellites and now…

JEFF
It’s very possible that I’ve heard your show before and just… Yeah.

Dr. SUZY
We are sexy seniors. Yeah, well, I’ve been doing the Dr. Susan Block Show in some form or another for 35 years, and Max has been doing shows even longer. Yeah, Max was on radio in Italy that back in the day and—

MAX
Yeah, on pirate radio, yeah, really.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, we did enjoy your texts earlier, if I’m associating the right person with the right text, it’s a little confusing, but I think you’ve been texting about your interest in Chris Ryan and Sex at Dawn and Bonobos. Of course, we always talk about the bonobos.

JEFF
Yes, the bonobos and the sustainability of our… you know, society.

Dr. SUZY
Absolutely yes. We kind of believe in following the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure and female empowerment and male well-being and sharing.

MAX
Sharing, that’s the key. Sharing. Sharing… how can a couple of people in the world own everything?

JEFF
Right, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
And we’re so close to bonobos, you see, they’re an example for us because so many people don’t understand how bonoboësque we could be—like some people on Twitter the other day we’re saying humans are irrevocably war like war is innate to humanity.

MAX
That’s not true.

Dr. SUZY
Right, that isn’t true, as Chris Ryan points out, and others.

MAX
And we just yeah, just a wrong turn, you know.

Dr. SUZY
It’s a wrong turn. Over the past 8,000 years, 10,000 maybe, we’ve been more and more in the war-loving grip of the megamachine, but we’ve been in these bodies and minds for 200,000 years when we were not like that, when we were more like bonobos, and so we could be more like bonobos again, that’s my hope, my theory, my guiding light. So anyway, Jeff, welcome to FDR.

MAX
Welcome and thanks for joining us.

Dr. SUZY
What’s your guiding light?

JEFF
I really… I don’t know, I don’t. I don’t know about a guiding light. I was just going to say that the concept of sharing is pretty revolutionary. I mean, you know, private property and love and affection, and it’s something that people are sort of trained to reject or be sort of wary of.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, well they are trained to be wary… and warier than ever lately.

JEFF
Because anything that you give to other people is something that you’re losing.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, that is how our society operates, that’s the mega machine that tells you that anytime you give you lose. And yet we know from our own experience that when we give, we get back. In many ways, we get back, most immediately in terms of the good feeling we get from giving. Dr. Frans de Waal is another one you should read. Frans talks about “Hedonic Kindness,” the kind of giving and sharing that other primates do, that bonobos do the best, but all primates do it and humans do it too. We love to give to others, and the best example of that is sex. When you give someone an orgasm, and you’re really into sex and you’re probably not paying for it, you’re just like in it.

JEFF
That’s the best feeling.

Dr. SUZY
And that’s it, that’s love. That’s not even love. That’s good sex.

JEFF
It’s a joy. It’s a joy that life offers us.

MAX
Yes, absolutely.

JEFF
I mean, some you can. You can if you want. You can find love in it, or you know, it is what it is. But I don’t know. There’s still like—

MAX
The pursuit of happiness.

JEFF
I want—

Dr. SUZY
Mm-hmm

MAX
The pursuit of happiness.

Dr. SUZY
The “Pursuit of Happiness” is a better line than the “Right to Sex.”

MAX
You might have heard of us. Bonoboville is a mythical city.

Dr. SUZY
It’s more of a village.

MAX
Yes, it’s really not a city. There’s only a few of us little farmers around here, and it’s a mythical village where a bunch of people live. A mythical village, and that saves at least some footprints. What do they call those things when you’re ruining?

JEFF
Carbon footprint.

Dr. SUZY
Carbon footprint.

MAX
Yeah, carbon footprints. There you go. Yeah, yeah. You got it.

OK, so that’s important for all of us to do because we’re going to have to do that very soon.

Dr. SUZY
Very soon, yes indeed. Amen and Awomen.

MAX
We’re seeing that the new apartments now are 200 square feet.

JEFF
Oh yeah.

MAX
They’re putting you in your casket before way before your time anyway.

Dr. SUZY
So, we say: Be Bonobo.

MAX
Be Bonobo.

Dr. SUZY
So, it’s difficult to articulate this position, which is why we have to take a whole series of shows to do it, but that is our position in society and in ourselves, and you got to try to change society, but the one you can maybe change really is yourself. And so, we’re a little bit of self-help, although I hate that term, and we are a little bit of politics, but I kind of hate that term too.

MAX
We’re not supported by anyone, and there’s no communist or capitalist sponsor.

Dr. SUZY
Except the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences.

MAX
Except your money, right.

Dr. SUZY
And we provide sex therapy over the phone as well as on webcam, and text.

MAX
I think science is, yeah… And around the world.

Dr. SUZY
And in person sometimes, if it works out.

JEFF
You haven’t thought about starting a Bonobo party?

Dr. SUZY
Oh, the Bonobo party. I’ve run for President. I lost. I’m a failed candidate.

JEFF
Oh yeah, what year was that?

Dr. SUZY
Oh my goodness, I ran in 2008 as a vice president with Frank Moore as president, and I ran in 2000. Actually, earlier. In like 1992.

MAX
Right. There it is. Against Billy.

Dr. SUZY
Against Bill Clinton, I ran in 1992. That was in the beginning of our love affair when we were getting married, Max was my campaign manager.

MAX
Yeah, yeah. Against Bill. That’s right.

Dr. SUZY
Now I’m his campaign manager.

MAX
We failed, but it’s OK.

Dr. SUZY
In fact, our best interview was on the Montel Williams Show, and they lost that.

MAX
Haha, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
We gotta go! But I hope we talk again!

JEFF
I’d love to! You guys are great. It’s a fun show.

Dr. SUZY
Thank you! And we also could come to see you as great, Jeff, as we get to know you on Callin…

MAX
You take care, be safe. No shootouts.

Dr. SUZY
In sharing, we do aim to share in every sense of the word, so we’re sharing ourselves with you right now, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. Happy Kinktober, Kink Month and Halloween and we had a good time, you know.

MAX
Yeah, wonderful one.

Dr. SUZY
And talking about scary topics…  Another name for this show is the Speakeasy, ’cause we speak easy about subjects that are a little difficult to speak about, but we have an easy time ’cause we’re in the Speakeasy, and they’re scary, and it’s kind of fun that they’re scary. But it’s funny because during the spooky season, everybody talks about getting turned on by horror movies. I just think that’s so funny ’cause all the porn is considered verboten, but everybody can watch any kind of horror. That’s just fine. So, you can watch a breast that’s cut off.

MAX
Oh yeah.

Dr. SUZY
But not just a beautiful breast. It’s kind of strange, our society, kind of backwards. But anyway, we love you.

MAX
We love you.

Dr. SUZY
We want you to be good. We want you to be happy.

MAX
Babe, happy pursuit.

Dr. SUZY
The pursuit of happiness is important. Not that we’re encouraging antidepressants.

MAX
Maybe some drugs?

Dr. SUZY
Orgasms.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
We want you to try not to hurt anybody. You don’t have a “right” to be sexually nonconsensual.

We want you to make kink, not war. We want you to make like bonobos—they are the Make Love, not war chimpanzees – Not baboons Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you. I love you.

MAX
I love you.

Show Length 01:32:14  HD

© October 22,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.