by Dr. Susan Block.     

It’s the second coming of FDR on Callin, so we are virgins-no-more, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners! Though we are vergin’ on Halloween as Capt’n Max and I take the Love Train through sexy-witch fantasies and Day-of-the-Dead realities.

Opening with my Samhain ode to witches, bitches and belladonnas, we explore the piquant spice of scary sex (between consenting adults only please). First conjured for our bacchanalian Erotic Insurgent Masquerade (2007), it’s a Halloween fever dream that takes you over the moon on my Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom—great for roleplay, pegging, spanking and good vibrations.

But so many goblins are lurking over the horizon. Like a Halloween horror film, the melting Himalayas are releasing ancient viruses now new to us and very virulent. The upcoming midterm elections threaten to push America down deeper into fascism and violence. People are going bananas—and not in a Bonobo Way—attacking, shooting, trampling and beating each other with hammers. The planet is heating up, but it could all instantly cool down to nuclear winter, as we’re vergin’ ever-closer to Armageddon, H-bombs poised for mutual annihilation on both sides of the madness. Day of the Dead indeed.

Now more than ever, we need to Make Kink Not War. Can we “be bonobo” before it’s too late?

Fly Me to the Moon on My Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom. Photo: 2G

Not yet fried alive, we wave from the flames to Jerry Lee Lewis whose 87-year-old “Great Balls of Fire” are now soaring up to heaven or dropping down to honkytonk hell. Max was a Jerry Lee tribute artist when he was a teenager in Genoa, Italy, and he warbles one last “you shake my nerves and you rattle my brain” as those Keyboard “Killer” fireballs go up in a puff of Day-of-the-Dead smoke and a cascade of Rock ‘n’ Roll ivories.

Another scary reality is Elona Musky taking over Twitter. “Elona Musky” is my pet name for Elon Musk, of course, transphobic dilettante with a procreation fetish, rocket dick and nerd-balls of lithium fire… or just another Tesla Truck bursting into flames. Twitter is not a truck. If someone sensible doesn’t take the wheel, Elona is going to drive his new Twitter truck into a tree.

Will Musk make Twitter driverless? He’s already firing several key humans, replacing them with bots. It reminds me of when tRump became President, a shock, though we knew it was coming. I thought it was a joke at first, wanting to believe that saner minds would prevail, then suddenly there was the Marmalade Mussolini signing ridiculous racist Presidential orders from the Oval Office, like Elon toting his silly sink into Twitter HQ, making it “sink” in: this scary reality might seem silly, but it is no joke.

Sure, the old Pontiff was ostensibly denouncing the “vices” of our devices, but his sexual revelation certainly made the search term “nuns watching porn” skyrocket.

Meanwhile, Elona’s buddy Ye (aka Kanye) fucked around and found out how “going Death (or Def) Con 3 on Jewish people” translates to losing more than half a billion dollars in a day. The world is filled with wonders and extremes. #GoBonobos for the Semitic convergence of Old Hollywood and new running shoes. Free Palestine!

For a comic erotic trick-or-treat, we have Pope Francis confessing his Halloween fantasies about “nuns (watching) porn.” Sure, the old Pontiff was ostensibly denouncing the “vices” of our devices, but his sexual revelation certainly made the search term “nuns watching porn” skyrocket.

The Hippie Pope also said priests watch porn—and maybe he does too! Perhaps his gentle reprimand was a subtle pat on the habit, since surfing OnlyFans and Grindr is less likely to result in scandals and lawsuits—not to mention trauma to minors—than the more traditional priestly practice of molesting altar boys.

This takes us to yet another scary reality (there are so many these days!): those black-robed ghouls on the Supreme Court’s Catholic supermajority are literally stoning American women’s rights to death in the public square.  Let’s impeach them all, starting with Supreme Injustice Clarence Thomas whose beloved wife, Ginni Thomas, is one of the leading supporters of the (still ongoing) Coup Anon Insurrection.

We take heart in the courage of the women of Iran and their allies, carrying on their “Women, Life, Freedom” Hijab rebellion against the Ayatollahs, the Persian version of our Supreme Injustices.

Meanwhile, racism and greed from our caught-on-tape trash-talking LA City Council intersect with Sheriff Alex Villaneuva’s brutally murderous deputy gangs, all being investigated, as the stink of corruption and violence permeates the streets of LA.

Our Kangaroo Court Arcadia City Council may be smaller, but it’s no better.

We also take a couple of Callin calls from Joe Apollo who really resonates with our sex-positive, no-Bernays, no bullshit message, and Wally who jokes about the great and powerful, one-eyed Halloween Monster threatening to bust through his zipper.

Trick or treat!

“Halloween Fantasies & Very Scary Realities” Transcript

MAX
Sounds great. OK good. We sound great. If we don’t sound great, let us know if we have some kind of problem. Let us know if we don’t have an answer to something or have lost information from our hard drives in our heads. Let us know. Help us out, you know what I’m saying?

And in the meantime, I want to introduce you to my sweetheart.

Dr. SUZY
Boo!

MAX
Her name is not Boo. Her name is Dr. Suzy Block.

Dr. SUZY
From BOOnoBOOville!

MAX
Oooh, from BooNoBooVille.

Dr. SUZY
We’re on the Halloween Love Train… and it’s our second live show on Callin.

MAX
That’s right.

Dr. SUZY
Last week, we were “Vergin’ on Callin”and now we’re virgin no more! although we’re Vergin’ on Halloween, if you’re tuned in live and so we’re kind of getting into Halloween fantasies and scary realities, so it’s little bit of everything for everybody right here… so I guess we’ll start with my fantasy.

MAX
Right, cool. Go right ahead.

Dr. SUZY
So, it’s Halloween weekend live from BOOnoBOOville, and I traditionally transform into a witch at this time of year, which is not really such a stretch, because I’m kind of a witch at all times of year… and this is how I greet you… Are you ready?

MAX
My mic is on ze muting side of ze link.

Dr. SUZY
Are you calling in from Transylvania tonight?

MAX
No, I’m actually going through the mountains—cough! —excuse me, please go ahead.

Dr. SUZY
Go ahead with what?

MAX
You keep talking and I’ll keep coughing.

Dr. SUZY
Well, you have just risen from the Dead, have you not?

MAX
Ah yes, I have. So, I have to get used to the atmosphere up here.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, yes.

MAX
Which is rotten compared to being in your in your nice coffin.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe so, but it’s at least nuclear winter, speaking of scary realities.

MAX
It’s not.

Dr. SUZY
And maybe that’s just a Halloween fantasy, and that’s what we hope, except everybody’s talking about how we’re verging on Armageddon these days, but I’m going to get into my Halloween fantasy of a sexy witch in BOOnoBOOville. Are you ready?

MAX
You’re going to do your poem?

Dr. SUZY
I don’t like to call it a poem, even though it kind of rhymes.

MAX
What is it?

Dr. SUZY
It’s an ode.

MAX
Oh, an ode, like h’ors d’oeuvres.

Dr. SUZY
An ode, like to a Grecian urn, and this is my ode to Halloween and scary sex, so cuddle up to your device, and listen…

Dr. SUZY
Brothers & Sisters, Lovers & Sinners, Witches & Bitches, Vamps & Tramps, Masked Men of Mystery, Role-Playful Women thru History, Belladonnas & Erotic Personas… As Nights Grow Long from the Witches’ Hex, Let Us Enter the Realm of Scary Sex. There, There, Darling, Don’t Be Afraid:  T’is the Season of Masquerade! So Come, All Ye Witches, Ye Dark Brides & Grooms: T’is the Time to Hop on your Brooms, Fly Past your Fears & Over the Years Of Oppression, Repression, Being Burned at the Stake, Stoned by the Sheik, or Drowned in the Lake.  Time to Rise Up, Ye Sexual Renegades: Join the Erotic Insurgent Masquerade, Straddle Your Flying Phallic Strap-On Brooms, Turn On Your Vibrators-To-The-Moon.  Fly High In the Sky To That Wild Domain Where the Witches Reign as Goddesses & Socialists, FemDoms & Love Doctors… Time to Put On Your Party Mask along with your Daily Mask. Time to Reveal What You So Often Conceal, Your Erotic Persona, Your Inner Belladonna, Your Secret Identity, Your Scary Sex Entity…Your Evil Twin, The Wizard Within…Time to Awaken, Stirred AND Shaken, Your Heart Beating Like a Bongo, Your Blood Rushing Like the Congo… Maybe You Meet Someone Who Looks Kind of Scary: A Witch, A Bitch, A Cop, A Fairy, When Out of the Clear, With a Flick of the Tongue, Those Shivers of Fear Turn to Passion and Fun. Mixing Fear & Sex Creates Special Effects! See… What Turns Us On Isn’t Always the Nicest. So We’re Often Afraid of Just What Excites Us. Or Are We Excited By That “Witch” We Fear? Both, My Dear…It’s Biological…Its Neurological… & It Can Be Pathological. So Be Careful, Consensual, Practice Safe Sex, & Don’t Overdo…& Stir This Recipe Into Your Witch’s Brew: A Pinch of Fear Gets Your Mojo In Gear, Like Heat in Your Mesquite, But Too Much Fear Burns Your Meat. Stick That in Your Bag of Trick or Treat! And This Halloween or Sometime Soon, Take A Trip to The Moon on Your Vibrating Broom…Join the Erotic Masquerade! Wear that Sexy MASK… Don’t Be Afraid…Your Inner Witch Won’t Hurt You… Unless You Really Want Me To…. Boooooo!  And Happy Halloween Seasons Beatings from BOOnoBOOville!

MAX
Very nice!

Dr. SUZY
That was my Ode to Halloween.

MAX
Very, very nice! Thousands of people are here applauding.

Dr. SUZY
Thank you. I resurrect my inner witch every season to get in sync with my family of witches and bitches and tramps and vamps out there in the world rising up in the graveyards. And yeah, in my Halloween fantasy we have a lot of fun. It’s like a big Halloween costume party mixed with an orgy, and you encounter different people that scare you – your so-called enemies – and you wind up connecting with some, and your fear becomes a little heat and you Mesquite, it really gets your erotic friction going. That what does it because if everything is too nicey nice, then everybody is ok, but then maybe you’re not feeling so turned on.

But when there’s a little bit of fear, it can be a turn on. If there’s a lot of fear, not so much. It’s like spice. If it’s too much, then it drowns those good sexy feelings, brothers and sisters, and so it’s very tough to get in the mood for sex when you’re really afraid. And gosh, there are a lot of scary realities going on in the world these days and in our personal lives as well. So, we’re going to talk about all that tonight and you can step right into the speakers’ area. Caller Joe is right there now.

MAX
Hi, Joe, Joe, Joe how you doing? We’re going to connect to you, right?

Dr. SUZY
Hello Joe.

JOE
Hey shout-out to ya’ll. I’m a new listener.

Dr. SUZY
Ah, you’re a virgin to our witch’s brew. Welcome.

JOE
Yeah, I know man. Sorry for like just showing up. Still green.

Dr. SUZY
Oh hey, we love green energy.

MAX
That’s quite alright.

JOE
So, something this deep like this show, wow man, I feel understood.

MAX
Right.

JOE
What I mean is thanks for coming on strong and like speaking to like a lot of taboos that I think, are typical in our society, like we’re in this like it seems, like this harsh tone, everything like in marketing is like projected as sexuality, it’s the Edward Bernays.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

JOE
Is that yeah, you know, they capture it, then they realize a profit, and then they moralize about it from the other side.

Dr. SUZY
Exactly, that’s exactly right. They’d make it sexy; they pull you in, catch your interest with sex, and then they call you a slut or a pervert for being interested.

JOE
Yeah! And like I mean, you know, in the Callin app, we have this, like, handshake, like if you’re gonna give like well, input, also like intellectual acknowledgement to the intellectual boner which you have given us, as you have, you know, because this is mostly males unfortunately on the Callin app.

Dr. SUZY
I love men.

JOE
Yeah, yeah, run the show! But at the end of the day, I would love more women to be able to show up here.

Dr. SUZY
We’re going to bring more women too.

JOE
Yeah, shout out to you. I’ll mute myself, but I wanted to say I really appreciate your craft.

MAX
So, Joe, where are you from?

JOE
I’m down southwest. I’m in Arizona.

MAX
Alright. OK, OK.

Dr. SUZY
Hello. Wow, that’s a very divisive state, pretty contentious these days.

JOE
Yes, it is. Like I’ve been here for 20 years and I’m telling that’s why I showed up here.

Dr. SUZY
All right, well, how’s your Halloween weekend going?

JOE
I love Halloween. It’s my favorite time.

Dr. SUZY
Do you like to dress up or do you just like spooky stuff?

JOE
Dude. Man, and like I’ll tell you what man just like I don’t know man like in a structured world it’s nice to break free sometimes yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, it’s fun to be someone else, to reveal kind of an aspect of yourself that you may not usually reveal.

JOE
Yeah, but actually like or accentuate one that you do kind of like. I feel that like in this… You know where I’m going?

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s what I do, because I feel like I am a witch in a way all the time, and so around Halloween, I always bring out the witch, the sexy witch, and I do have a Magic Dildonics Vibrating Broom.

MAX
Hahahah.

JOE
Ohhh.

Dr. SUZY
It’s kind of a knockoff on the Harry Potter toy broom that they brought out about 20 years ago, but they recalled it because the kids were riding it too long because it vibrated and that was supposed to give you a feeling of flying. And yes, Edward Bernays’ Uncle Sigmund Freud did say that flying is a metaphor in dreams for orgasm.

Anyway, they recalled the Harry Potter Boom, and maybe it shouldn’t be for kids, I’ll go with that, but I thought adults like me should have Magic Dildonics Vibrating Brooms, so we make them here in Bonoboville.

JOE
Dr. Susan, may I suggest like a business proposal like that?

Dr. SUZY
Sure.

JOE
Let’s propose this business model to the Dyson Corporation. Deep cleaners, spices, meat dildonics. Quests go ahead.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, all right, then, I will use you as the go between for that.

Sounds like you got some good Halloween fantasies going there. What do you dress up as? What’s your costume? Your erotic persona? What do you accentuate?

JOE
Well, let’s see. Now you know what? I will participate, but I’m not like—I feel like you’re gonna go like a dozen steps above like my element of Halloween. I should just listen.

Dr. SUZY
All right then, I’ll let you sink back into the shadows.

JOE
I will part with fondness.

Dr. SUZY
JOE, not your real name.

JOE
No, it’s not. And yeah, I may not go as deep as you do, Dr. Block.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, you’re deep, darling.

MAX
No worries.

JOE
No, I am. But I also serve others in this quest.

MAX
Alright, alright? Yep.

JOE
And in person. Yeah, I get—

Dr. SUZY
You serve other masters and mistresses.

JOE
Yeah, you could say that.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we’ll let you go, and we’re glad you’re here, and we will move on with our Halloween fantasies and scary realities.

MAX
Thanks JOE.

And by the way, if you go to fdrradio.com, you can hear a lot of really funny, great initial shows that we do at fdrradio.com. Thank you so much Joe. Get back in your coffin.

Dr. SUZY
Clang!

“It’s the best broom in the world,” says Ruby. She must have gotten one of my Magic Dildonic Vibrating Brooms. They are very effective, and you can ride them to the moon. You got a vibrator in the middle and a dildo on the dildonics end and then the broom end can be used as a spanking paddle, actually so it’s multipurpose-perfect for Kink Month, Kinktober, which it has been all month, and it’s Halloween Saturday night if you’re tuned in live, Vergin’ on Halloween and so we got various Halloween Fantasies going here, it’s a sexy time of year, dark and getting chillier, time to embrace your inner witch, and you can wear masks which can make things sexy and hopefully a little safe at the same time.

Although gosh, I think the scary realities are overwhelming the Halloween fantasies this season.

MAX
Yeah, yes, the whole this whole thing is very scary.

Dr. SUZY
Very scary and not necessarily in that kind of pinch-of-fear way that makes sex better. I mean, when you go to a nice Halloween event and like 150 people are trampled to death like what happened in South Korea today, it’s horrific, and then there’s all the shootings going on. And sure, horror movies are fun, but not when it’s going on in your living room, your street or your supermarket. And then, people are beating each other with hammers. And then there Elon running Twitter. The Himalayas are melting and releasing ancient viruses that are new to us. And then there’s World War III, along with nuclear Armageddon, so there’s a lot going on. People are going nuts. These are the ghouls and goblins of this Halloween.

So, what’s the solution? Well, I don’t know, but I believe in the Bonobo Way, and anyway, it’s what I want, so I believe in it. I think that people believe what they want to believe. You go with what you want. That’s why racists believe these racist theories, not because they really sincerely believe them, but because they want their own race to be somehow favored, so they become a believer in racism based on what they want for themselves. Same with guys who believe in patriarchy. It’s not that they really believe women are inferior, not if they know any women, then they know that’s not true. They want to believe women are inferior, and they want them to believe that, and so they write it into their Bibles in their Bhagavad Gita and then lo and behold, it becomes a belief that seems to be beyond desire, but it’s not. Your beliefs are based on what you want, brothers and sisters, and I want peace through pleasure with a little bit of pain. Consensual pain only, please, OK?

And Elon Musk running Twitter is not consensual for me.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
So, there’s a lot of different scary things going on, and in general, the solution lies in the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure, female empowerment, male well-being. We’ll get more into all these principles, but one of the keys is to Make Kink, Not War. And celebrate sexuality, not violence, guns and greed. Greed is very insidiously part of war and guns and violence and jealousy. Our sexual feelings vary, of course, but really our natural sexuality is maybe a little bit like the bonobos. Not so jealous. Just a little bit of jealousy like that spice, because you shouldn’t take things for granted, if you want to stay turned on, but still, you shouldn’t be paranoid to the point of gathering a collection of AR-15s, and shoulder-to-air-missiles in your garage.

Collect dildos, please, or vibrators, get my broom honey, but we gotta tone down the violence. Though I don’t think we will, and honestly, I’m scared. We are vergin’ on Armageddon, but I’m gonna keep pitching the Bonobo Way, hoping that maybe it’ll catch on at least enough to mitigate the situation.

MAX
Well, I mean it can catch on in your own life. Yes, you don’t have to change the world, but you can create and surround yourself with good verses. Violence and hate and greed—and there’s things that have nothing to do with human life and the human experience.

Dr. SUZY
A man and a woman—

MAX
Man and a woman, and you notice—

Dr. SUZY
You notice that I’m no longer vergin’ on sneezin’?

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
You know why? Because I’m on steroids.

MAX
Oh, you’re on steroids, right.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, I’m taking steroids. It’s crazy, but I have a doctor’s prescription. So hey, if I’m a little steroidal, if I get ‘roid rage, I promise to keep it on the air only. I won’t get it a car and start shooting people.

Anyway, I can’t because I only have dildos, I don’t have guns. I could have a dildo fight with somebody. Actually, I’ve enjoyed some of those in BOOnoBOOville. We have sword shaped dildos, and we fight with them, and we have done that on Halloween dressed in different garbs

And as Adriana comments here on Callin: “It’s sexy to role play. It brings out your inner kinkster.” Yeah, it’s often fun to be somebody else, though it’s really a deep part of yourself, and so that’s what we do on Halloween, and it’s really sexy, but it can also be scary.

I myself am more scared this season than maybe any other Halloween. Horror is certainly more popular than ever. Yeah, and it’s the scary season so you can share your scary sex fantasies, if you dare, and you can also just say hi like that first Callin caller, Joe. Do you call them a “caller” when they’re on Callin or a Callin’er?

MAX
Not a calendar.

Dr. SUZY
They’re not really calling, they’re just pressing a button, so it’s not like they’re really a caller. Anyway, put yourself into the area of speaking and you don’t have to even have a fantasy or a question. You could just say hi, because we’re new, though eventually we will get more strict and demand you say or ask something interesting. But for now, we’re going to say hi to Wally. Happy Halloween. Hello Wally.

WALLY
Oh hey, this is Wally. I had a Halloween joke.

MAX
Oh OK, it better be funny.

Dr. SUZY
It better make me laugh. Trick or treat!

WALLY
Alright, we’re talking about scary monsters. What has 122 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, Wally’s Johnson’s a monster, yeah.

WALLY
Hey, happy Halloween.

Dr. SUZY
Happy Halloween and give your monster a pat on the head. Yeah baby, that’s a nice monster to have.

“Yes, imagine if duels were settled by dildos,” says John on Callin. I’ve settled a few with disputes with dildo dues. Actually, we’ve had some dildo duels here in the midst of orgies.

MAX
Oh yes, yes.

Dr. SUZY
If we can settle disputes with dildo duels at orgies, we should have more orgies, but it is a tough time to have orgies. There’s so many things going around all these little viruses join you at the orgies. Plus, some people are armed and dangerous. No guns allowed in my orgies! Only the monsters between your legs.

It is spooky season and spooky can be sexy as long as it’s consensual. I do have some Halloween fantasies actually that I hope comes true, one being maybe before the end of the year, to impeach Clarence Thomas Supreme Court Injustice, because his wife is a Coup Anon cultist who really tried hard to overthrow the government.

MAX
Oh my God.

Dr. SUZY
I’m not a huge fan of the government. But when you try to overthrow it violently and illegally, I don’t think your husband should be a sitting Supreme Court Justice, and he certainly is full of injustice.

He never should have been sent up there to the Supreme Court, and I hate to say it, Capt’n MAX, but your friend JOE Biden helped Clarence Thomas get his seat on the Supreme Court during that Anita Hill hearing, and he should have never gotten it. He obviously harassed that woman, but there he is, sitting there, not recusing himself from cases involving Donald Trump, so he should be impeached.

But actually, so should Brett Kavanaugh, and so should the Handmaid. They should all be impeached, and I don’t think it’s going to happen, but that’s my Halloween fantasy.

MAX
Yeah. Well, I was listening to some of the rioters up on the White House and now they’re blaming everybody but themselves and they didn’t know they were there, even they didn’t even know where they were. And they didn’t. Were they high?

Dr. SUZY
They were high on rhetoric as well as opioids and other drugs, I’m sure, and they’re trying to do anything now to get out of jail, and I understand that. They’re caught up in a fascist cult, Coup Anon, and by the way that is my word for that “almost coup” by Qanon, but it’s still going on, it’s a rolling coup, so you know what it’s still ongoing. The January 6th insurrection cosplay – talk about Halloween! Everybody was all dressed up in costumes – and that was only one element of the Coup. There was also the intimidation of election officials and it’s ongoing. There’s the intimidation of everybody. There’s the 82-year-old husband of the Speaker of the House getting attacked with a hammer.

And I’m not a huge fan of the Democrats, as thanks to Joe, we are Vergin’ on Armageddon, arming the Ukrainians to the teeth, and I’m on the side of the Ukrainians. I know that Putin is the aggressor, he’s the one that first acted like a monster with no zippers holding him back, as he bombed, bombed, bombed away. And he did first, but we’re now into a back-and-forth thing. It’s no longer about who started it. We’ve got to negotiate. By the way, Kinksters are the best negotiators. We should send in some kinksters to negotiate peace. The problem is that the politicians want war because they’re greedy, and they get money from the defense industries all over the world.

MAX
Wow.

Dr. SUZY
Halloween is the eve of the Day of the Dead, and Jerry Lee Lewis has gone up like a Great Ball of Fire into heaven or maybe down like a Great Ball of Fire into hell. Anyway, Max was a Jerry Lee Lewis tribute artist when he was a teenager in Italy, weren’t you, Max?

MAX
That’s correct, I used to imitate when he was still alive. I used to imitate Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley in variety theater with a bunch girls dancing.

Dr. SUZY
It’s hot.

MAX
Go back to—

Dr. SUZY
Like American Bandstand in Italy.

MAX
That’s right, now we go back to the hotel with all these young ladies.

But anyway, I used to do Elvis and I used to do Jerry Lee Lewis. That was like when I was—

Dr. SUZY
Wow, so you were only 15?

MAX
Going on 16 years old, you can imagine?

(Singing) You shake my nerves, and you rattle my brain! Oh, too much a love drives a man insane!

That’s all.

Dr. SUZY
And you had to do it loud like that. Did you actually sing, or did you lip sync?

MAX
I lip synched.

Dr. SUZY
And you also pretended to play the piano.

MAX
That’s right. Now, I would kick back the stool.

Dr. SUZY
He was an amazing piano player, a pianist.

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
And his penis too, that was a bit of a problem, speaking of monsters, he should have kept it in his pants ’cause he ended up marrying his 13-year-old cousin, and that really was a bit too much. But in any case, he was a great Rock ‘n’ Roller… for a white boy.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, he certainly learned a lot from black music.

MAX
Well, Elvis and Jerry Lewis they talked like they were black. They did.

Dr. SUZY
They tried to, and they did pretty good, I guess.

MAX
They sang like that. They tried it too.

Dr. SUZY
Jerry Lee played the piano amazingly and yeah, I mean he had some unforgettable tunes, “Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire,” that’s what’s lurking at the bottom of the monster.

MAX
Oh yeah, the balls of fire down there? That’s right.

Dr. SUZY
Bye-bye Jerry Lee Lewis!

MAX
See you soon.

Dr. SUZY
Every week somebody else dies.

MAX
He, was my age.

Dr. SUZY
No, Jerry Lee Lewis was not 16 when he sang.

MAX
No, no, no. When he died.

Dr. SUZY
Oh no, he’s much older than you.

MAX
He’s 78.

Dr. SUZY
No, he’s 87.

MAX
Oh, 87. He is. Somebody else died that’s my age and that’s always right. That always worries me some.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe so, people are dying all the time these days, and but Jerry Lee was way older than you, 87.

But listen, my biggest fear right now has happened that’s right, Elona Musky is now in charge of my world: Twitter. I will admit it now. I’m always telling you no, I’m not really into Twitter that much, but now that I see that it’s going to get ruined, I’m going to admit that I basically live on Twitter.

MAX
Well, he’s trying to get out of the car business because now everybody is making electric cars and I just saw that the Chinese have built this beautiful pickup truck—electric, and it totally competes with him.

Dr. SUZY
It probably doesn’t burst into flames quite as often as a Tesla, speaking of Great Balls of Fire.

MAX
Right, and it costs under $20,000.

Dr. SUZY
Speaking of fire, Elon’s now firing several key people at Twitter. I have no love for them, but I just think these are people that might be needed to help make this transition since he is a fascist, transphobic dilettante with a rocket dick and balls of fire that set his Tesla truck on fire

And what do trucks have to do with Twitter anyway? Twitter is not a truck, and if somebody doesn’t stop him, Elona Musky is going to drive his new Twitter truck into a tree, and it will explode in flames. Great balls of fire.

MAX
Well, maybe. What does he have? A new girlfriend or something?

Dr. SUZY
Because he’s going to make Twitter almost driverless, like he’s going to turn all the humans who run Twitter into bots. There are already enough bots all over Twitter running things.

MAX
Hopefully he doesn’t kill anyone with this new technology, like his self-driving cars.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, I don’t know how you kill someone with Twitter, but I’m sure there are ways. He could cause a 200,000,000-car collision somehow with all the Twitter accounts colliding.

MAX
Yeah, yeah. So, I just want to go back to this.

Dr. SUZY
Are you going to go away from Elon now?

MAX
No, that’s alright. Keep going.

Dr. SUZY
No, no, it’s okay, go ahead.

MAX
I did. I just want to say, you know, while everybody is having a ball and good time and all, the Supreme Court has been taken over by Nazis.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we were talking about that earlier. I said they all should be impeached, at least half of them.

MAX
Yeah, but they should be impeached and yeah, you’re about to lose your democracy if there ever was such a thing. You’re about to lose your democracy. You’ve lost your abortion rights.

MAX
You, by the way, you probably won’t be able to buy condoms anymore in gas stations, because when I was growing up there was a big battle over that.

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s one thing Clarence Thomas wants to do away with is contraception rights all over the country so it will be up to the States, and some of them will ban being able to purchase condoms at various places or maybe at all.

MAX
Yep, yep. At all.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, some states, not at all. They want you having babies, ladies.

MAX
Yeah, because they need troops. That’s yeah, all this is about is getting poor people.

Dr. SUZY
For this military.

MAX
Indoctrinating them, sending them to military, and then sending them off to die.

Dr. SUZY
So, we really need a Bonobo Revolution, brothers and sisters, and I am so heartened by of all places, this country of Iran, where the Hijab Rebellion that we’ve been talking about for a few weeks, is still going strong.

Women. Life. Freedom.

These are kind of big, open-ended phrases that could mean anything, and probably will be twisted, but right now, I am so heartened to see women stand up for themselves and risk a lot, and also our male allies who are part of this rebellion that is beyond just women rights, but really, brothers and sisters, women’s rights are human rights, and it is all part of it. It’s like female empowerment and male well-being go together in Bonoboville, and certainly BOOnoBOOville on Halloween. The witches are the belladonna, the healers, the mother, the nurtures, the sisters, the sex workers, and yes, we also can be single, and some of the females might have monsters between their legs.

MAX
You know, when I was hiding out in France from the American police sensors, I rented an apartment there in Paris at one point from an Iranian woman. We had four or five or six of these apartments, just like Airbnb. And I was just kind of talking to her very nicely one day, and she looked at me. She says, “Could not tell you something?”

I said, “Of course.”

“You Americans are very stupid.”

Dr. SUZY
Haha, you’re not telling me anything I don’t know, lady.

MAX
OK thanks. But they’re very straightforward. They’re very strong, they’re very opinionated, and some of them are beautiful in many different ways.

Dr. SUZY
Alright? #Gobonobos!

MAX
Go, bonobos.

Dr. SUZY
“Women should be allowed to determine if they want to have children,” says Roxanne here.

Oh Abe, who’s actually sitting here, but hi Abe, he’s interested in getting back to talking about Elona.

MAX
Elona?

Dr. SUZY
I call him Elona because I like to kind of rib him for his transphobia.

MAX
Who’s Elona?

Dr. SUZY
Elon Musk

MAX
Oh, Elona, baby, how you doing? You got a date tonight?

Dr. SUZY
So, Abe says Twitter did a test for digital storefronts for a smaller group of users, and they concluded as close to impossible to prevent fraud, and he’s got a whole list of things going on here. He could actually talk about this.

MAX
Oh, where is this?

Dr. SUZY
All of the ways that Elon/Elona could very well set fire to Twitter just like he has to many Teslas.

People are posting lots of comments here.

MAX
I’ve heard that Elon wants to make Twitter into like a we chat app like in China where they basically make it accept payment for groceries, hotels, etc.

Dr. SUZY
How about for sex? You think the sex workers could use that?

MAX
And you know what’s interesting? TikTok is now opening a section or a new thing for adults.

Dr. SUZY
Oh cool, well I’ll go on then.

MAX
You know, I always hear all the Chinese can’t watch this? You know all the Chinese, and say how many billions of people do they have? They have a lot of sex. I can tell you that, yeah, I mean—

Dr. SUZY
Well, procreative sex is only one form of sex.

MAX
Right, and it’s a dangerous form of sex because that’s why I’m wheezing.

Dr. SUZY
’cause you procreated too much.

MAX
I procreated too much.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, and because everyone has, and because that’s part of the reason that there is something called the Capitalocene, which is destroying our atmosphere. This is the effect of capitalism, which is created by humans. But I don’t think it’s what humans are all about.

Keep this in mind brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners of the Love Church of the Bonobo Way. This is not a cult. This is the Womb Room, and it’s wide open and wet for you. So come on in.

Leanne.Baby says, “I wish the Republicans and their small dicks would stay out of my uterus.” Yes, and we gotta vote this way. I know it’s really frustrating because the Democrats are frigging war crazy, but so are the republicans, and at least the Democrats might help us out with the abortion problem.

MAX
Well, he’s—

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, Leanne.Baby, I agree. Keep them out of mine too, even though my Womb Room is open for conversation, whether you’re Democrat or Republican or green or blue, red, purple, you can step up to speak on Callin. And this is FDR, which stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt, our 32nd President, who had a lot of faults, but he was one of our more socialist presidents. He also had an interesting sex life, as did his wife Eleanor who was very bisexual. And he did some bad things, including the place that we’re actually broadcasting from, which is Arcadia used to be a Japanese internment camp. And of course, he went socialist to prevent communism from taking over, possibly in America, because there were a lot of working class rebellions going on during the Great Depression, and so he told all the Rich folks, then he said we gotta get together and we got a tax you 90% and they pretty much did. I mean I don’t know if it all happened at once, but they gradually taxed them almost 90% and that’s what we got to do brothers and sisters, tax the rich and also F.D.R., which is…

MAX
Fuck Da Rich.

Dr. SUZY
Fuck Da Rich.

MAX
Do it nicely.

Dr. SUZY
I always do it nicely. I am a very nice fuck.

MAX
You use a lot of lube.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, I do use a lot of Lube with my Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom, or whatever appendage I might be using. It could be a monster, but it’s a lubed monster.

And so here we are, if you’re tuned in live, it’s Halloween Saturday night. If you’re tuned in in another time, we still got scary realities, brothers and sisters… One of them is my Twitterland. This is one reason I’m branching out into Colin. I’m a little nervous now about the monster Elon Musk.

MAX
Well, you know, I have to laugh because a few weeks ago they said that the Premier of China was under house arrest and I looked a little further, and it was posted by “007.” And he is certainly not under house arrest. In fact, he just won his third term. And then I learned something else about—

Dr. SUZY
I had was the one that told you about that. I said, oh this is happening, or they say it’s happening, but at the same time, it’s also being debunked, so it was all over the news that Xi was the victim of a coup and then they said, but he’s not so I don’t know what that has to do with Elon.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
Did Elon start the rumor?

MAX
Well, it started on Twitter I believe.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, well, Twitter isn’t perfect. Listen, Twitter shadow bans me. I kind of hate Twitter. I have a love, hate thing with Twitter, but I think it’s going to turn to more hate because of Elon. And I don’t think he’s going to UN-shadowban accounts that are more sexually open, such as mine, and I wouldn’t call my account a porn account, but maybe some people do because I do have porn stars that appear every once in a while, on the show in my Womb Room… which I mean in all the different senses of the word.

MAX
Right, right, right.

Dr. SUZY
Especially on Labia Day, it’s a tradition, so yeah, Twitter does shadowban me, which is a big problem, but on the other hand Twitter is a way to get out there and connect, at least with the people who follow me, and there’s nothing really like it.

MAX
Right, oh.

Dr. SUZY
And now it’s going to change and speaking of change, I guess Elona Musky’s good buddy, Ye, aka Kanye is going through some changes, losing some money.

MAX
That guy losing some. Oh yeah, and Jeff Bezos has lost billions in the last few weeks. Oh, really, yeah, because he didn’t make his… Uh, he stated—

Dr. SUZY
Oh OK, do we care?

MAX
I don’t care, you know. I don’t care—I do because I’ve been shopping again. I do feel very…. I was driving all over town trying to find little things that are all on Amazon, and I didn’t have to leave the house and it reminded me of the old days when there was no Amazon, and shopping could take up to a week just to find a screw. And of course, $80.00 worth of gas and your time and you know…. So, whatever anybody says about Amazon Prime… On Amazon fans went up.

Dr. SUZY
Hey, we’re lazy. Here in BOOnoBOOville, we just like to lie here in our graves among the roses and just order things on Amazon, and maybe now we’ll be able to do that on Twitter.

Listen, I have an open mind for Elona Musky, especially if he changes his name to Elona Musky, ’cause that sounds much better, but at the same time I’m a little scared.

Scary sex can be fun. That’s what kink is all about. A little bit of fear puts that spice in your enchilada, which is another term for Monster, by the way I’m using it, but too much that gives you heartburn. So, hey we try to give you that little bit of sexy spice here on FDR and we try to Fuck Da Rich because the rich need to be fucked better. Obviously. Elon does, he’s so sexually frustrated he had to buy Twitter to start impressing new girlfriends.

MAX
Now again, he’s got a big problem coming up and he’s known about this for years, and it’s actually a smart move. “Let’s get out of here!”

Dr. SUZY
He’s getting out of the Tesla business.

MAX
Oh yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Probably also getting out of the rocket business, which is good because that really pollutes the atmosphere actually, and Teslas do too.

MAX
So, if you have Tesla, I could almost guarantee you that in a few years, maybe two years, three, nobody will service the fucking thing, OK?

Dr. SUZY
Nobody will service it.

MAX
Plus, they are ugly. I rode in the back of one of them and I hit my head every time there was a bump.

Dr. SUZY
They’re really sleek.

MAX
Yeah, and the back thing is like, for assholes.

Dr. SUZY
They look like weapons.

MAX
I don’t know what they look like, they’re awful.

Dr. SUZY
I think Elon has a procreation fetish. He keeps wanting to have children with different women.

MAX
Possibly with a car.

Dr. SUZY
Or maybe he’s given up on cars. I don’t even know if he has a car fetish. He seems to be not even thinking about Tesla, right?

MAX
I heard about it guys.

Dr. SUZY
He’s into sinks now. He brought a sink into Twitter just to do a little stupid joke: Let that sink in.

MAX
Yeah, he’s in another business too that he’s looking forward to because, you know, we always laugh about the Chinese and their little apartments and all of that, Elon Musk, muskie, whatever his name is, is now—

Dr. SUZY
I see I got you confused. His name is Elona Musky.

MAX
Oh, Elona Musky is selling $10,000 homes. They bring it to your property, put it together, and there you have it. You have a tiny home.

Dr. SUZY
OK.

MAX
Which a lot of people now have to go to because they can’t afford even a room for $400. So now he has, and he lives in one by his aerospace—

Dr. SUZY
I’m not against these tiny homes. They’re cute, like little club houses. They’re cool. And yeah, it’s kind of horrible that, of course, so much real estate, so many MC mansions out there are being purchased by corporations to sell to rich people to make a profit, and nobody lives in them. Instead, there are all of these houseless people out there, and by the way shout out to goddess Soma Snakeoil, who is doing tremendous work with the HOUSELESS in Los Angeles and Jux Lii is here us, on call in saying “Truth Social acquisition company, stock price went up on Elon’s Twitter news double.”

MAX
Well, because he’s gonna let Trump back on. Yes, that’s why.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, of course, and I don’t care. I think it’s fine. I don’t think anybody should be banned from Twitter, really.

MAX
Unless they advocate violence and fire.

Dr. SUZY
Well, then you just censor certain things but not the whole account. I just don’t believe in that kind of censorship.

MAX
These are violent people, Dr. Susan.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, but words should get Free Speech. Words shouldn’t be censored.

MAX
Look what happened to Paul Pelosi.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but that was a hammer. That’s different than words.

MAX
OK, the same word that heals is the word that kills.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but you know mean words shouldn’t be censored, and that’s one reason why, because it does have to do with how you use the words. It’s complicated. Remember our show was censored on YouTube right after the January 6^th Insurrection because we were criticizing the insurrection and mocking them.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

Dr. SUZY
We were shouting, “Hang Mike Pence,” and talking about how terrible it was that people were shouting that around the Capitol, how it’s alarming and silly and frightening at the same time. And they censored us. They took it down because they said we were broadcasting hate speech. Actually, we were mocking and criticizing hate speech. So, this censorship of words that’s done mostly by bots is wrong, and I hope Elon doesn’t do it. He says he’s against censorship, but he favors the right wing, of course. And really, censorship mostly hurts the left wing, brothers and sisters, and it certainly hurts anybody for peace when a country is at war.

Listen, we’re very bonobo, and by the way, when we’re not doing this show, our day job is that we are sex therapists and we have a private practice in which we talk to people all over the world, proving private telephone sex therapy, although we also do webcam, we also do texting and emails and we also meet with you in person, but mostly it is over the phone and it works for us. Sex therapy over the phone and most of our clients are in the red states, in the belt buckle of the Bible Belt, and so we’re open, especially me, to all points of view. I talk to a lot of clients in Red States all the time and I’ll tell you there’s a lot of fluidity back and forth between the red and the blue. It’s all purple, brothers and sisters, and we’ve got to try to help each other.

I believe in the grand and glorious power of sex and love, but love can get you into trouble. Take love of country, love of your gun, it could backfire big time. But I think kink, sex and respect, hey that might pull us through… ’cause we’re vergin’ on Armageddon anyway, speaking of the problems that we’re facing and fears because we are talking about Halloween fantasies and very scary realities.

So, Elon’s friend Kanye ’cause they’re kind of buddies, and it’s weird because he has said so many racist, provocative and I’m not against provocative, and I don’t think he should be censored. But on the other hand, I do believe in the power of cancel culture, a culture of everyday people that can say no, we don’t want this, we decry this, and that would include corporations. After all, corporations are considered people, thanks to Citizens United, which was a terrible ruling by the Supreme Court in 2010, and yet the fact is that corporations do have a lot of power, so all the corporations that put up with Kanye saying “slavery was a choice” – why did they put up with that?  That is so awful and insulting and disturbing, as bad as trying to get teachers fired over the whole critical race theory things.

So, when Kanye said, “slavery was a choice,” they just said that he was mentally ill. When he’s made threats on his family publicly, they say he’s mentally ill. When he says a lot of racist things, they say he’s mentally ill. He then says he’s going “death con” – it should be DEFCON, but he says he’s “going Death Con 3 on Jewish people.” And he kind of doubles down on that by saying it’s Jewish people in Hollywood, and he names some people in the music business, that control business.

MAX
The control leveraging. Yeah, make him the money.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, well, they’re in the business, they’ve been in Hollywood, they I am part of the whole clan in a way, although I am certainly not religious. You are also, in a way, part of the whole clan, but certainly being part of the clan doesn’t make us any money or get us any favors. And yet, there are Hollywood Jews that have money and power and positions in various entities, and Kanye apparently resents that.

MAX
And we have been taken over by the Catholic Church, because I remember when John F. Kennedy was running, that was a big issue.

Dr. SUZY
Right?

MAX
Everybody was afraid that Jesus wouldn’t walk around their yard, and you know and so forth and yeah, nothing ever happened. Now we got these God on fascists. Really that’s all I can call them.

Dr. SUZY
Right, one thing these Christofascists have figured out—and it’s really quite scary actually, for little agnostics like us – but they have figured out that they need the Born-Again Christians as the bulk of support and the passion. They’re the troops out in the front lines of the war against leftism and communism and Jews and blacks, against basically the whole idea of socialism and liberalism and being anti-war.

So, they’ve got the troops, the Protestants for the most part, the Born Again Christians, especially.

But then they’ve got the kind of Pharisees, the intellectuals who are mostly Catholic, and you see that right on the Supreme Court of Injustices, right? They are mostly Catholic, and it’s really very spooky.

MAX
Uh, yeah. Well, the monks and certain people in the Catholic Church, like I guess other religions are the keepers.

Dr. SUZY
Speaking of the monks, something happened that was kind of funny and it will get a lot of people dressing up as nuns and priests for this Halloween, which is the Pope told everybody, just in case you don’t know, that nuns look at porn sometimes, and so do priests.

So, I think it was very very exciting and spicy to hear the Pope saying that nuns look at porn. I know he was trying to say porn is terrible, porn is bad, and nobody should look at porn and certainly too many people look at porn, and I think he was getting carried away and saying everybody looks at porn, including nuns and priests.

MAX
And him.

Dr. SUZY
And him, him being a priest, yes.

MAX
Right and also, he’s an altacocker there and.

Dr. SUZY
Right, he’s not having sex, and neither are they. So hey, better for the nuns and priests, especially the priests to look at porn and play with themselves, and not play with the altar boys and girls.

MAX
Well, in Sweden at one point they legalized child porn basically, and attacks against children dropped dramatically. Now there’s millions of kids missing and there’s a lot of dead children that they find.

How about the City Council?

Dr. SUZY
I kind of wanted to finish talking about Kanye, but OK, I’ll talk about the City Council.

MAX
OK, go ahead, if you can finish. No, you can finish with Kenye.

Dr. SUZY
No, no, I don’t want to finish. I don’t want to. I’m so confused.

MAX
What are you confusing?

Dr. SUZY
I’m in a state of confusion.

MAX
What are you confused about?

Dr. SUZY
I’m like Kanye. I heard he hurt himself in his own confusion, which is a Pokémon joke according to Abe in the comments section.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, that was a Pokémon joke forever.

Dr. SUZY
Right, so I am there too. I get it. Perhaps you could give me a pass ’cause I’m mentally ill.

So you want to talk about what’s going on with the LA City Council, which is that we’ve got a bunch of racists there, and we knew that, but I guess they got caught on tape and one of them is married to somebody who’s connected to Sheriff Villanueva, who we’ve been critiquing for a long time, and it is one thing to talk about it, folks, but it is another thing to use violence. And yes, just the rhetoric that this City Council was using was awful, and of course I think they should have resigned. And I guess one of them did and the other two should. But at the same time, it is just words. Words do have an effect, but much worse than those words are the actions of the sheriff’s deputies, the physical brutality and murder, the escalation of violence with no controls.

See, we all have violence in us. Even bonobos do. We do, and so it’s how much you’re going to express?

I personally like to express my violent feelings through kink with consenting adults only, spanking, for instance, or little bit of rough dildo play.

There are people that express their violence non consensually and criminally, and some of them are sheriff’s deputies and they even have gangs. And our Sheriff Villanueva is in charge and very well aware of it and trying desperately to protect his gangs. And it’s going so-so for him, right, Capt’n Max?

MAX

Well, right now they’re totally under investigation or once again, and I have spent time in Twin Towers, and I have some diaries. One day I’m going to read them to you and you’re hear about deputies beating old people like me and slamming them against a wall, and head slapping.

Dr. SUZY
OK, so calling people names is lousy, but the head slapping, the beating, the shooting and the killing, it’s a whole different ball game. So, yeah, that’s what’s going on and that is over the edge. And what are we going to do, brothers and sisters?

MAX
Well, if you live in Los Angeles, you’re a part of it. You’re allowing it to happen.

Dr. SUZY
And isn’t Villaneuva a Democrat?

MAX
Yeah, well, a fake one. He said he was a progressive.

Dr. SUZY
Oh my God, this This is why I don’t even want to be progressive anymore. I’m bonobo, I’m in the Block Party, I’m Bonobo party, I’m a party like a Bonobo, but I ain’t in one of these major parties anymore because this progressive stuff, well, progress is not so great. In some ways, we need to regress, learn how to live off the land if we can save the land, which is questionable. But anyway, our City Council needs to be roto-rooter. And really, the Sheriff’s Department needs it, the Sheriff’s Department is much more severely messed up, killing innocent people, and I’m not saying defund the police, no, but do Roto-rooter the police, and yes, we need peacekeepers, not gang members.

MAX
And let’s make it clear that we’re not against cops. We’re against bad cops.

Dr. SUZY
The ones that get a tattoo when they kill somebody on the street to join the police gang.

MAX
Right, right, right? We love good cops.

Dr. SUZY
Some of our best clients are good cops because cops have a high sex drive.

MAX
Right?

Dr. SUZY
And if you can possibly balance things, maybe you could be a good cop if you can take some of your sex drive and handle it through sex instead of being a violent asshole.

Anyway, Kanye is probably sexually frustrated, and I’m getting back to him now. He does have a girlfriend. He always as a girlfriend, but he doesn’t have Kim. And well, what can I say? I’ve criticized Kim many times. She’s really the most Kartrashian of them all.

And yet Kanye is worse. But it’s just interesting the way that the corporate community did not cancel Kanye. Although the people did. Twitter did. Twitter keeps trying to cancel Kanye in different ways, meaning the people on Twitter have criticized him majorly and boycotted him over his behavior, actually, since he took the award from Taylor. But the corporations have just said, “Hey he’s mentally ill over all of his horrible comments.” Then they dumped him when he starts going against “the Jews.”

It’s weird. And a part of me is, like right, of course, the Jews. That’s cool to stand up to anti-Semitism so effectively. But another part of me is like, hey whoa, I’m scared, “the Jews” are now almost making him seem like he’s right, that the Jews have all this power, and it’s a big problem because they’re… we’re… Jews.

Hollywood was founded in many ways by some Jews, so it’s not surprising Jews still have Hollywood power. Although Thomas Edison, who was very anti-Semitic, made the first movie which was a kiss.

Anyway, it’s a little disturbing to me that this happens. I mean, I want to say that we’re against all of Kanye’s racism, not just the anti-Semitism. I don’t want it to be like Kanye’s anti-Semitism is worse than his racism. And yet I’m happy to see him lose some money over these recent remarks, but it should be for all of his remarks.

But hey, what can I say? There are a lot of Jews that are in Hollywood and some in the fashion industry too, and they’re not putting up with it.

MAX
And then there’s the Mormons. They’re huge.

Dr. SUZY
They didn’t just dump Kanye though.

MAX
It’s not… No, no, but they’re huge. They’re huge in Hollywood with the Mormons.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe they’ll adopt Kanye—the Mormons. He’s looking around. He went to Adidas to see if they would take him or was it Adidas that dropped him and he went to Skechers?

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, yeah, he went to Skechers.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, Skechers wouldn’t let him in.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, ’cause—

Dr. SUZY
Skechers said, “No Kanye. You’re too sketchy for us.”

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, ’cause I heard that they’re actually founded, or ran or owned by some Jewish people.

MAX
Yeah, some Jewish people, right? Yeah, and he got—

UNSCENE ABE
So they dropped from them, or he didn’t even get accepted, I guess.

MAX
In the door.

Dr. SUZY
So, Walrus Hung in the comments section says, “Cops that break the law should be pegged by the people whose rights they violated.”

I mean, okay, if those people would like to do the pegging.  Pegging is very intimate activity. It’s not something you do to get back at somebody. Well, not something I do that way. Maybe cops do rage-pegging ’cause they like it. I heard about the New York cops that forced a nightstick up a suspect. Ow.

MAX
That happens all the time.

Dr. SUZY
Sometimes they do that for their own pleasure.

MAX
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
It’s true, but I personally don’t think I would get pleasure out of pegging a cop who had violated my rights, and cops have violated my rights. I had no desire to peg them.

I have to LIKE you to want to peg you. That’s a privilege. Pegging is a beautiful thing. It’s not something I do to people for revenge. This is nonconsensual, and I’m against it. That said, I understand where Walrus Hung is coming from. And yeah, cops that break the law and violate people’s rights should be punished, and mostly they are not. And with a name like Walrus Hung, I get why he’s into the pegging. He probably pegs people, but if he’s hung like a walrus, he probably doesn’t need a strap-on.

MAX
My hemorrhoids want nothing to do with that.

Dr. SUZY
No, no.

MAX
Sorry folks.

Dr. SUZY
I understand.

UNSCENE ABE
Well, what if the cop likes it? You know what it is.

Dr. SUZY
And then there’s that, and there’s a lot of cops that do like it. I talk to them as a therapist because, hey, nature seeks a balance very often, and they’re so tough on their citizens that they’re supposed to protect and serve that they want somebody to give it to them good anally and to do a role play that it’s being done to them nonconsensually. Listen I understand nonconsensual role play. I get all the roleplay of all the taboo subjects, all of them. That’s what great about roleplay and fantasy. But I just am very conscious of consent in real life.

MAX
Can I go back to the City Council?

And I have traveled extensively in this country now by train or by car hitchhiking… It’s hiking.

The city councils have no interest in this citizen. We have a guy here, Tom Beck, who is now, I believe, president of the City Council. He would like to give the old people another sandwich.

Dr. SUZY
To show his compassion, trick or treat his sandwich.

MAX
You gotta say, with having a fucking hot meal, you idiot clown.

Dr. SUZY
Or a tiny house.

MAX
Over time, oh they put up tiny houses. Everybody is all freaked out.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, we’ve got a mini–LA City Council with our Arcadia City Council and we have discussed that many times on FDR and they have harassed us, but we are still here so we’re winning.

MAX
Yeah, and all the city councils are that way. They have no interest in in helping. They have interest in making sure that people don’t vote democratic. They’re interested in making sure that the rich can build things and pollute the air. All kinds of things like that… “Interests for the people.”

I doubt it. Corruption absolutely.

In fact, we’ve opened an investigation into the Arcadia City Council. We’re looking at some of their contracts and how they were got, and that’s all I have to say. That’s all I have to say.

Dr. SUZY
Well, that story is ongoing, and we were kind of in a little battle, so to speak, with our dildos as our only weapons. Hopefully they won’t shoot their guns at us. They already brought their guns over here. They did a raid, but they didn’t find anything, of course, ’cause we’re not doing anything wrong, but we’ve got our dildos. And because we have our dildos, they think we’re suspicious. It’s funny because all these people have guns, and that’s not suspicious. But having a dildo—a rubber cock instead of a Glock—that makes you suspicious.

MAX
That’s like the city Fire Inspector who says, “oh, I have to leave—this is creeping me out.”

Dr. SUZY
We have bullet vibrators, not bullets. And it’s vergin’ on Halloween, if you’re listening live, and it’s a time to look at horror movies, which is a lot of fun. Goes back to Grand Guignol, at least.

But again, tell me why is it OK to look at a bloody body, but a naked body is not OK?

There’s a movie now. I think it’s called “Bodies Bodies Bodies.”

UNSCENE ABE
Three bodies? Body, body, body.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, it’s a lot of bodies, maybe three. And yeah, a lot of bloody sexy people, and that’s OK.

UNSCENE ABE
Oh, it is.

Dr. SUZY
And hey, it’s fun. I’m all for it, even if I don’t like it. But what about bodies that aren’t bloody?

MAX
And nipples.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, free the nipple! But it’s more and more forbidden.

So anyway, I have a déjà vu about Musk taking over Twitter. It’s kind of like when Trump became president. Because I really believed all the hype that it wasn’t going to happen. At least, I wanted to believe it. And of course, he didn’t win the popular vote. But because of our Electoral College, he was able to become president, and it was a shock. And t’s similar, in a way, in terms of my feelings that suddenly now Elon Musk is president my Twitter country. And everyone said no, it won’t really happen, saner heads would prevail, but they didn’t, not in America and not on Twitter, and now he’s here and he’s going to try all this stuff, and he’s going to screw it up. But hey, we’re still there while it’s happening, and in the meantime, we’re also branching out to Callin. It just goes to show you can’t trust any one platform?

MAX
Well, one of the reasons that he got Twitter is because Twitter had a very hard time getting advertisers because of those nipples and tushies.

Dr. SUZY
Because Twitter has more freedom of speech. It doesn’t have total freedom of speech, but it has more than Facebook, more than YouTube, more than IG.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

MAX
No, I have but.

Dr. SUZY
More than LinkedIn, more than all the other biggies, Twitter does have free speech… so far.

MAX
I’m really interested. Is he now going to fund this? Or how is he going to maintain this? Because Twitter has been around for a while now, right? And they’ve had problems and problems and problems.

Dr. SUZY
In fact, you’re right, and Twitter is a bit more freedom of speech-oriented in that way, about sex and a lot of sexperts, a lot of sex workers, people that like sex, people that like to fantasize, people that like to lurk, we like Twitter. You don’t have to be who you are; you can be who you want to be. It’s like Halloween, you can dress up in a costume and have a Twitter account and it’s a lot of fun in that way and encourages free speech.

But that is one thing that does bother the advertisers. And so will he crack down on that.

Yes, and so Ruby says that she thinks pegging should be illustrated on YouTube. They wouldn’t allow that on YouTube. But a lot of people don’t know what it is. So, it’s basically when a woman, usually it’s a woman, though I guess you could be a man and peg, but usually you’re using a strap-on dildo, or some sort of dildo.

MAX
Or a broom?

Dr. SUZY
Or a Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom, and you use this to penetrate the Peggee, the one who is pegged, anally penetrated. And by the way, this goes all the way up to the top. I don’t mean the dildo. You try to keep that in the anus, but the Prince of Pegging is Prince William.

MAX
Yeah, I know that.

Dr. SUZY
That’s the Heir as opposed to the Spare.

MAX
We’re almost out of time, but before we go, I just want to tell you this: We’re not funded by communist parties, by bankers. We’re only funded—

Dr. SUZY
We’re not even funded by the Jewish people that run Hollywood.

MAX
Right, and certainly not them, and we’re not—

Dr. SUZY
And by the way, if the Jewish people really ran Hollywood, would Mel Gibson still be making movies?

MAX
I don’t know.

Dr. SUZY
He’s a major anti-Semite, and he is still making movies.

MAX
The way we make our money is we try not say things ’cause it says we make no money, but Dr. Suzy’s therapy practice, it funds this whole thing, and that’s why we have the freedom to talk about what we want. I’m not interested or not.

Dr. SUZY
Or not.

MAX
I’m not. You know, I’m going to be 79 November 8th. I’m registered at Macy’s. I’d like some socks. Could I get some socks?

Dr. SUZY
You could get some socks, but you have to get them on Amazon.

MAX
Yeah and go to Dr. Block’s Pleasure Shop. There’s some interesting things there, things that you might not know about. Some very rare magazines. The snake dick sculptures are beautiful. They’re about $6,500. You want to buy one of those. That’ll help feed 10 bonobos here for months.

Dr. SUZY
And if you want to speak privately, you gotta pay a little money too. There’s no money involved when you speak publicly here on Callin, but privately, yes you pay for the privacy, and that number is 213-291-9497. That’s the number to our therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, where we talk to you about anything, even though those uncomfortable subjects that I don’t necessarily even want to talk about on the show.

MAX
Without speech we have no freedom.

Dr. SUZY
Exactly. So, we speak about everything and that’s one reason we call this show the Speakeasy, because we speak about things that are not usually so easy to speak about.

And yes, more and more people are speaking to me about nuns in sexual positions and we can thank the Pope for that. I think the Pope put a lot of ideas in people’s minds. Thinking of nuns looking at porn and priests.

UNSCENE ABE

Well, he’s not so innocent himself. He’s actually… I think this happened in 2020, but he liked an Instagram model picture that was very salacious, and the Vatican was like, “How did that happen?”

MAX
And he’s watching porn.

Dr. SUZY
Must have been an intern.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah. The Pope’s not so innocent either.

Dr. SUZY
Right, right. He didn’t mention that when he said that the nuns and the priests are doing it. So am I.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we all are. We all look at porn sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with that, brothers and sisters.

MAX
We look at each other’s assholes in the bedroom.

Dr. SUZY
You bet. Well, if you’re lucky, you do. So many people nowadays are so alienated sexually. Between the diseases and the ammosexuality out there, the gun fetishes and the misogynists out there who want to take away women’s rights, who are taking away women’s rights, there are many, many turnoffs going on.

And yeah, scary stuff is sexy in small amounts, as a spice. But too much fear spoils the meat and dries up the Womb Room. So, a lot of people, most notably young people, are having less sex right now, and I’m not going to say we have a “right to sex,” which we kind of discussed last week. But I will say we need to be sexual, or we suffer the consequences. We are sexual beings, and we should express it some way and maybe watching porn and playing with your monster is not the best way, but it’s an OK way and so it doesn’t always have to be the best. It just has to be good.

So, a little bit of porn, you and your monster, and you can have yourself a ball.

Speaking of great balls of fire, we got to go.

MAX
We gotta go.

Dr. SUZY
Just like Jerry Lee Lewis, he’s gone, and we have to go too.

MAX
Close it.

Dr. SUZY
So, I want you to be good – whatever you dress up as – I want you to be happy. Make kink not war. Don’t be in a rage, OK? Don’t be in a road rage. Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, witches and bitches, vamps and tramps… even if that someone is you.

I love you.

MAX
I love you. Aaaaooooo!

Dr. SUZY
Save the wolves!

Show Length 01:22:25  HD

© October 29,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.