by Dr. Susan Block.     

Kink Month 2022 is rolling along, and Capt’n Max is back on track, and we’re wishing a very Bonobo Kinktober to you and your familiars.

All Aboard FDR for a trippy trip through the Tunnel of Love… which was pretty dark and scary a couple of weeks ago, with Max falling off the Love Train on “Fall Out of Line,” derailed and struck dumb by a monster infection that we’ve been doing battle with ever since.

Better to wear a bullet bra than bullets in your bra and an AR-15 over your shoulder.

Fortunately, Max comes roaring back like the steam engine he is for this Bonobo Kinktober, ranting against censorship, forced labor—including Forced Breeding—greedy Republicans and religiofascism.

He also declares his nostalgic love for “Bullet Bras,” reminiscing about how his math teacher would drive home 1+1=2 with her pointy Bullet Bra boobs in his back. Nowadays, she might get in trouble for that, but I say it’s better to flaunt your bullet bra than bullets in your bra and an AR-15 over your shoulder.

Speaking of shoulders, they’re also being censored on IG! It used to be that just genitalia, nipples and butt crack were verboten, but now Big Social Media is censoring shoulders that are *too* erotic, says our old friend Brian aka Dick Nice. And of course, they’re censoring words—from the sexual to the political to the nonsensical. Now Google’s censoring the word “cuckold.” Good-bye Chaucer.

I suppose it’s worse in Iran, especially if you’re arrested by the “Morality Police” for a strand of hair straying from your hijab. The outrage of such brutal misogyny fuels the hijab youth rebellion as it continues, despite deaths and arrests: Women, Life, Freedom!

Amen and Awomen.

Seasons Beatings

It’s a Bonobo Kinktober, if you’re tuned in live, and we’re celebrating with the RELEASE of Make Kink Not War: Be Bonobo, Version 6.0 of The Bonobo Way at Domcon LA, now available on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Xbiz, Academia, LinkedIn, CounterPunch and DrSusanBlock.com.

If you’ve seen or read the manifesto, you’ll want to walk the talk in a fabulous, comfortable, kinky (but not too kinky) “Make Kink Not War: Be Bonobo” T shirt. A portion of all proceeds goes to help save the real, highly endangered bonobos from extinction, so—as they point the way to female empowerment, male well-being, sharing resources and peace through pleasure—they can help us save ourselves.

Because we sure do need help! So… Make Kink Not War (please) before it’s too late.

Thanks AVN for spreading the news, reminding me that porn stars and kinksters are on the front lines in the war(s) against sexual oppression and repression, wars that we sex-positive folks didn’t start (the neo-Puritan religio-fascists did); we’re just defending our right to get laid.

Shout-out to my Counterpunch colleague Kollibri terre Sonnenbaum for his engaging Twitter thread juxtaposing Make Kink Not War: The Bonobo Way with a War-Is-Human-Nature tweet, and then *converting* the War-Is-Human-Nature tweeter to The Bonobo Way!

Oh, and did I mention our media ménage à trois involving three different “Hollywood” documentaries with and about HBO and Vice all coming soon? Tune into F.D.R. for more info!

Free Assange!

As we broadcast live, protests for Wikileaks’s journalist Julian Assange rise up all over the world, including thousands of people surrounding the British Parliament in a “Human Chain” of support for Assange, now incarcerated in the dungeon-like Belmarsh Prison (and sick with Covid-19), bound for even worse conditions with U.S. extradition. We have supported Julian Assange and Wikileaks since 2010, and this might be his best (and worst) day yet.

Proud to be a Julian Assange “Groupie” in 2010 and now! Photo: Jux Lii

So… Let’s Go Brandon! Break the chain of Anglo-American arrogance! Stop torturing an innocent journalist!  Become a champion of the Constitution and win the support of free-speech advocates on both sides of the aisle.

Yes, Right and Left Free Speech activists all fervently support Assange, yet Democrat and Republican LEADERS have failed in their duties to defend this journalist and by extension our First Amendment rights. Whether they are corrupted by campaign finance cash or cowardice, our political leaders have been awful on this single issue of basic journalistic freedom embodied by Julian Assange.

No sex toys on YouTube. Just war toys and war games that kill real people.

They are also equally awful about the war, which rages on and on with Putin poopin’ in his bunker on his 70^th birthday, as Russian draft dodgers flee his land, and Ukrainians blow up bridges with American war toys to the ammosexual delight of Youtube viewers at home.

No sex toys on YouTube. Just war toys and war games that kill real people.

And you wonder why our society is so sick—and getting sicker?

As the Love Train leaves the station, Max enjoys a nice piece of chocolate (a traditional aphrodisiac) that happens to be cannabis-infused (making it a double aphrodisiac), so by the time we arrive, we are off the rails, inspiring a night of orgasmic senior sex like we haven’t had in… a couple of weeks!

Wheeee! #GoBonobos for Make-Up Sex! It’s the Bonobo Way (wish Russia and NATO could make up like this)!

Give The Bonobo Way for The Holidays 2022

“BONOBO KINKTOBER” Transcript

MAX
I think the train is a little late, Dr. Suzy.

Dr. SUZY
Better late than never, Capt’n Max.

MAX
That’s right.

UNSCENE ABE
Alright, we’re on Facebook. We just hopped on Facebook.

MAX
OK, we’re at Facebook station. Hello, everybody on the platform there on Facebook.

Dr. SUZY
Hello Facebook. I know, you want us to call you META now. But we like to call you by your face.

MAX
And you all on the platform wave to us ’cause the trains coming in and we’re all going to board this train and I’m going to open up tonight with my awful week of fighting Nature, and my apologies to all my followers in two weeks, and my week—

Dr. SUZY
Two weeks actually.

MAX
That’s correct. We, like all of you, are fighting the apocalypse.

Dr. SUZY
Well, for a while it was the Coronapocalypse, and then it was the Trumpocalypse.

MAX
Yeah, no, no, this.

Dr. SUZY
And now really this is THE Apocalypse?

MAX
This is. It’s OK and I want to start out by saying… I am FUCKING MAD!

Dr. SUZY
Oh!

UNSCENE ABE
Oh, alright. We’re on YouTube by the way, right?

MAX
OK. Hi, YouTube.

UNSCENE ABE
We’re gonna get on Instagram.

MAX
So, I just wrote to those Nazis over at Reddit.

Dr. SUZY
And are those the Ukrainian Nazis, the Russian Nazis or the American Nazis?

MAX
These are American corporate Nazis who censor. Now, the reason I bring this up is because, of course, I’ve been fighting censorship a good portion of my life, and I’ve won a good portion of my cases, if not all of them, and I keep thinking about this.

You can’t do anything Max, because these are private corporations. These are private corporations that are using usually using first of all city property to run their lines number one, number two. They’re using telephone lines, which are apps, which are federal lines, and they are regulated by the FCC and that you absolutely cannot censor them.

Dr. SUZY
Telephone lines.

MAX
So, you private corporations, and by the way lawyers, if you’re listening and if you’re lawyers with some kind of balls, you know I’m talking about—like Stanley Fleischman. Barry Fisher, you have flashy balls.

Dr. SUZY
Fleischy balls. Fleischy for Stanley Fleischmann.

MAX
Flat Fletcher. He was a flashing them balls, flashy balls. And he was a killer when he walked into a course.

Dr. SUZY
Not really, not a killer. We don’t want people to get the wrong idea.

MAX
No, you didn’t let me finish. When he walked into a courtroom, the courtroom shook because he was brilliant, and he tore them new asshole every time, and the new asshole now, is I believe that Reddit, that Facebook, that all of these people that are using public utilities. Public utilities—meaning telephone lines which will not be censored by federal law, are being censored by private corporations.

I believe that that’s in violation of federal laws and in violation of human rights, and in violation of my right to speak freely to others in my community. And these communities that you call about community standards have nothing to do with the reality of community standards.

It’s a little bit like we learned from Playboy what sex is. Sex is nothing like what Playboy taught us. It’s all not nice and yeah, it’s smelly.

Dr. SUZY
Hey, wait a second. Now you’re talking about my sex life with you? I don’t think it’s so smelly.

MAX
No, no. Well, it’s also nice. It’s also perfumy. It’s all very nice. You’re laying in bed in the sheets and there, but—

UNSCENE ABE
It’s all sunshine and rainbows.

MAX
Right, right, but there’s that farting that this fits in. And there’s the idea that you don’t fucking know what community standards are, just like we didn’t know what sex was, ’cause we thought sex was all very nice. Everything is nice, but it’s not. It’s not nice.

Dr. SUZY
Well, I think sex is pretty nice.

MAX
Yes, I agree with you.

Dr. SUZY
I think the problem nowadays is everybody says sex is not nice.

MAX
No, yeah, but everybody has a different fetish. You know, so somebody might say, “Ah, peeing and diapers is disgusting,” you know, and somebody goes, somebody else will say, “Oh mistress, I have peed in my pants. Feels so good.”

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s a very particular fetish.

MAX
Well, no, but that’s just one of many. Well, I like smelling farts.

Dr. SUZY
I think you’re talking like this because you’ve been sick lately and so these are the things that are coming up in your discourse about sex, which are really functions of illness, the smelliness and peeing a lot, but some people do like all that.

MAX
I’m talking about the difference that each person has, which is a fetish to them and not to someone else.

UNSCENE ABE
OK.

MAX
These are the things that we don’t want to accept. We don’t want to say that it’s abnormal to do something which is absolutely normal within 100 people, or 1000 people. So, there is nothing abnormal in the least.

In the minds of those whose fetish it is, and that’s why we have Criminal Minds and that’s why we have things like that, but we all look at each other and judge each other’s fetish as if it’s something awful, but sex is way more beautiful, and smelly, and adorable than we ever thought before. And in the modern age, we’ve discovered that people have all kinds of fetishes that we had never heard of.

Anyway, if you’re a lawyer and you’re listening to this a little later, not right this second, and you have those, what did you call them Fleischman balls, Dr. Suzy?

Dr. SUZY
Oh, Stanley Fleischman’s Balls would be called Fleischy Balls.

MAX
Stanley Flake. Flashy balls. The man was a genius.

Dr. SUZY
It’s a certain type of legal testicle.

MAX
Yeah, he didn’t put up with any of this nonsense about censorship and all of that, and so I want to just throw this out there: These corporations are in violation of federal laws. They are using public utilities to censor communications.

Dr. SUZY
Well, you know, it’s interesting because the Supreme Court is about to hear a case related to this.

MAX
Really? What is coming?

Dr. SUZY
Well, what’s at stake is whether or not these entities like Twitter, like YouTube, are responsible for people’s content? That is, if something criminal is posted, are they responsible?

And of course, for freedom of speech we want to say no, they’re not responsible. But some people want to say that they are responsible and in fact the Gray Area of their responsibility is one of their excuses for censorship, that they are trying to be responsive, careful providers, but really, I think they’re being responsive to their corporate sponsors, not to their individual people that are on all these sites that really have become our Commons.

MAX
Yes, the Commons.

Dr. SUZY
These social media platforms are the equivalent of what used to be the Commons, the public square, which We the People have lost, as now the public square is a dangerous place and just riddled with issues and possibly flooded.

And so, we use the Internet and we also use these platforms instead of public access TV because when they cut off our public access shows, and we just did a big interview about this that’s going to be airing possibly on HBO, produced by the people who did McMillions.

Well, anyway, we were told, “Hey, you don’t need public access, you got the Internet.” Yeah, right, right. Well, public access did censor. There’s always going to be some censorship, it’s just how much. And when it is a public facility, it is run by the First Amendment and that’s why Mr. Fleischy Balls could use that First Amendment back then. I’m not sure what he would use now, but I’m sure he would figure something out. Though it is difficult to use the 1st amendment with Twitter, with Facebook when they censor you, with YouTube. YouTube censors us all the time and very often for visual images. We’re just as often censored lately for words.

MAX
Words! Now Stanley actually fought a case which allowed private television to use public property to enter homes and that came about from a law which was the Rack Laws of the 1970s, when I put out thousands of racks throughout California with nipples.

Dr. SUZY
(Singing)
Nipples on the street! Nipples on the street!

MAX
(Singing)
Nipples down the street. No woo! Nipples on the street!

Actually, in New York you can go—

Dr. SUZY
Free the Nipple.

MAX
Right. Yeah, free the nipple anyway.

So, when public television, when paid television came along, they wanted to string up their cables on public property, and city property, and the City said no. And they said, “Wait a minute, wait a minute, there’s a case about news racks that are on city property,” OK and that was our case, and we won that case, and the city came in and said the LA Times can be there, the Herald Examiner can be there.

Dr. SUZY
And that was your case.

MAX
These people come to you and tell you they cannot be there because you show nipples. OK so, the court said, “That’s correct.” Either we all have access, or none of us had access. And the LA Times came in, and the ACLU came in to support our position.

Dr. SUZY
Did they file an amicus brief?

MAX
They came in and they said, “Listen. They have a right to be there.”

Dr. SUZY
I was like that word “amicas” because it’s like “amor,” I love you.

MAX
Yeah, exactly. And they came in and they said, “Absolutely, if he can get on, if you can be on the streets, they can be on the streets, nipples aside and all of that political aside. It’s freedom of speech, freedom of expression.”

UNSCENE ABE
A man and a woman.

Dr. SUZY
But see, they hide now. They say they are not really the government, and they’re not.

MAX
They hide behind the corporate. They are a public utility at this point because—

Dr. SUZY
Right. They have more power than the government.

MAX
Not only that—And the phone companies, yeah, you know, OK, and they’re using—

Dr. SUZY
Phone wires.

MAX
Phone wires, which are FCC regulated and when I started, yeah, when I started in in this work of trying to liberate myself, actually.

Dr. SUZY
So, they’ve got to give us our freedom of speech.

MAX
To begin with, it was illegal to have phone sex over the phone.

Dr. SUZY
Wow, a private phone?

MAX
Private. You couldn’t—

Dr. SUZY
Or was that the days of party lines, Capt’n Max?

MAX
No, no, no, this was way before party lines. There were no party lines there.

Dr. SUZY
Well, speaking of party lines, we kind of have one going here with all our different platforms and we have quite a few comments, including Jux Lii back on Facebook.

MAX
OK, Jux, you’re home early. What are you doing home so early?

Dr. SUZY
I guess the date didn’t go well.

Hi Jux, how you doing?

UNSCENE ABE
It may be.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe the date is in another city tonight anyway. So Jux says, “Truth social wouldn’t survive such scrutiny.” Not that it’s likely to survive anyway. Truth Social being, of course, Trump’s social media.

And then Jux says, “Nice racks, Max.”

MAX
Yeah, they were nice racks.

Dr. SUZY
Haha. Thanks for the mammaries!

MAX
We used all the racks.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, memories of memories on racks. Maybe that’s the original interpretation of the word “rack.”

MAX
Works well.

Dr. SUZY
And Dr. Omitara says, “hope you are well Dr. Suzy” on Instagram. We’re actually on all the different platforms. We have comments ’cause Jux is on Facebook and Dr. Omitara is on Instagram, as is Brian Woolrich and Harry says I make a good point.

MAX
How you guys doing there?

Dr. SUZY
“Dr, Suzy makes a great point that public access government-run TV was protected by the 1st Amendment and the current Internet platforms are denying us our First Amendment rights.”

That’s right, and they should have to somehow now abide by our First Amendment rights, and we need our Fleischy-Balled Stanley Fleischman for the Internet nowadays. And hopefully you know, whoever is up there at the Supreme Court is going to defend our limited freedom that we have, though that’s doubtful, but I mean, if you make Twitter libel, then they just won’t let anything run except Pepsi ads.

MAX
Yeah, right. And then, then all speech is gone. Yeah, all speech is.

Dr. SUZY
It’s half gone right now, but only half.

MAX
Yeah, well, it’s hugely gone right now because you cannot speak certain words.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

MAX
You cannot speak.

Dr. SUZY
And you keep finding out these new words you can’t say.

MAX
And there’s a list of them. Actually, you guys out there if you want to look and tell us what words are banned, for example? I know Facebook has dozens and dozens of words that are bad.

Dr. SUZY
And Google is banning my ads too now because I used the term “cuckold.” Cuckold! A perfectly good English term, Old English, actually from Chaucer’s time and before.

MAX
Oh, very old. That’s right. From Chaucer’s time, now being censored.

Dr. SUZY
Censored.

MAX
In one.

Dr. SUZY
The world is going a little crazy from this.

MAX
I’ll tell you what the problem is. The problem is the Kellogg’s and Cheerios, and all those advertisers tell these platforms, “You cannot have that on there,” Right, “because our clients eat Cheerios, and they don’t masturbate.”

Dr. SUZY
You were eating Cheerios the other day. I fed you Cheerios when you were sick.

MAX
Yeah. And I got constipated.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but you liked them, you wanted them, you asked for them.

MAX
Yeah, they were alright.

Dr. SUZY
Actually, you ordered Cheerios three times. I offered you many different things.

MAX
That’s correct.

Dr. SUZY
I was a good nurse.

MAX
You were a good nurse.

Dr. SUZY
I took care of you even after you abandoned me on this show. But the reason you abandoned me partly was because you were sick, and also partly because, I don’t know, because I was a doofus.

MAX
I was sick.

Dr. SUZY
But in any case, you’re back and in full force.

MAX
I am back. I am in full force.

And I just want to apologize because let me just say this: We are the rulers of the world. We know none of that.

Dr. SUZY
We are the cogs in the Megamachine.

MAX
That’s correct.

Dr. SUZY
But the Megamachine is collapsing.

MAX
Yes, but Mother Nature is not collapsing, and Mother Nature is saying yet enough.

Dr. SUZY
Sweeping in like the floodwaters.

MAX
Enough is enough.

Dr. SUZY
I feel so bad for the people of Pakistan, Florida.

MAX
Pakistan, Florida and what idiot? … What idiot—

Dr. SUZY
Well, I don’t feel sorry for DeSantis.

MAX
Well, no. I’m saying, what idiot goes through three hurricanes, loses everything, and then rebuilds?

Dr. SUZY
I don’t know. That’s a personal decision but let me just say I notice that the best conversion rate to Marxism is being a victim of a flood, because all these Republicans are now asking for money.

MAX
Oh yeah, listen, those Republicans.

Dr. SUZY
And they deserve it because their constituencies are hurting. But come on, remember that next time somebody else asks for money. They voted against it when it was asked for in other parts of the country.

Anyway, I would just like to take a moment to introduce the show.

MAX
Oh, yes. Go ahead, right ahead.

You’re listening to who? The—

Dr. SUZY
FDR, which stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt, our 32nd president, who had some faults but wasn’t the worst and had a little bit of socialism in him. Or at least he walked the talk.

MAX
So faulty.

Dr. SUZY
And it also stands for Fuck Da Rich ’cause FDR the president didn’t do enough. And we got to go a little farther with this, not so far as to eat the rich, because I don’t think they taste very good. But tax them and yeah, Fuck Da Rich, you know, in many different ways, which we’ll get into, but we’re nice about it. We’re bonobos. That’s why we say we talk about sex and politics and bonobos, the Bonobo Way, brothers and sisters, that’s what we preach. Amen and Awomen.

And yeah, this is where we are at the point where if we don’t follow the Bonobo way, we are going to be fucked. And we’re probably going to be fucked anyway, even if we do follow the Bonobo way, but at least we’ll do it in harmony and sharing pleasure, and maybe some of us will survive. And if it is true that that will happen, then perhaps a better humanity will arise from the ashes of this apocalypse.

MAX
And I thought of a of a jingle for our books. You want to hear?

Dr. SUZY
Sure.

MAX
(Singing)
When I wonder, wonder… Who, who wrote the Book of Love? Dr. Suzy did.

Dr. SUZY
Alright! That’s an old song from the ‘50s.

MAX
That is an old song. I loved that song.

Dr. SUZY
Ah, the mammaries are fading in many ways, or drooping a little, but the push up bra was put into use for the past couple of interviews I have done as well as at DomCon, and speaking of grim, I have been in the gloom myself, so my own gag in the gloom, so to speak, and favorite little mantra in the madness has been “make kink, not war.” And just in case you need to know: Be Bonobo. And so, I’ve been kind of repeating this like a mantra lately, and I’ll get into what it means. But I did a talk, Make Kink Not War at DomCon 2022—The Bonobo Way at DomCon LA 6.0, and finally we edited it all together with some Bonobo footage and hot looking Dommes and cute subbies and all kinds of kinksters, and we have released it for Kink Month, Happy Kink Month, Kinktober, because yes, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, spankers and wankers, all you children of sex and most of us are also children of kink, because often you need something kinky to turn you on to have sex. Not a big deal to be turned on by a smell, whether it’s controversial or not. But in any case, kink makes the world go round. It’s part of nature. Every part of nature, really. And it’s certainly part of this talk. Make kink, not war.

So yeah, there’s that old phrase, “Make Love Not War,” an oldie, but goodie that I grew up on, and I still believe in, but you know, love can start a war. Love certainly wages wars, love of country, or maybe you’re going to be jealous and shoot somebody out of love. I hope not. That’s not the kind of love I love. People define love in all different ways, but kink is pretty much defined lately, and it’s been a definition evolution that included Thomas Jefferson, but it’s been defined lately as something that involves consent. And so, kink is about negotiation, about not doing violent abuse, about taking violent energy and turning it into pleasure with a little bit of pain. That’s sometimes the best part.

In any case, it’s a vibe that is really the opposite of the vibes that are out there these days, both in the media and in the street, there are all kinds of people making war, whether it’s big countries threatening with nukes, and actually perpetrated with bombs killing people, whether it’s just a zeitgeist, a feeling that infects everyone with this ammosexual incel passion that they’re sort of not allowed to express through sex or kink because that’s always laughed at or frowned on. Not always, but enough by our mainstream media that so many people are going nuts and shooting each other and other ways of going nuts but shooting each other is I guess one of the worst anyway, making not war brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners.

And if you need more of an explanation, please go to our many releases of this which include of course https://drsusanblock.com/domcon-2022 where you see all the hot juicy pictures. And also, it’s on YouTube and Facebook and Instagram and Xbiz, and AVN did a press release. And it’s in written form on Counterpunch, and also in video on Academia and in sound form on SoundCloud.

MAX
And censored on LinkedIn.

Dr. SUZY
No, actually LinkedIn’s running it too.

MAX
Not anymore.

Dr. SUZY
Did LinkedIn censor it? Ah, interesting.

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
I thought they ran it, but I thought they censored something else.

MAX
They censored something, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
They censored something, but I’m now back with this.

MAX
LinkedIn is for executives that are looking for a job.

Dr. SUZY
You know what they censored? “Ken Starr: A Pornographer for Our Times.” So, I ran it again without using the word pornographer, and they let it run, but they censored me, and they banned me for a week on LinkedIn but I’m back and I ran Ken Starr and I’m just not using the word “pornographer.”

UNSCENE ABE
This is slow that—

MAX
Well, there again you have it.

Dr. SUZY
Self-censorship.

MAX
Can I go back to something? You were talking about wars. Yeah, not horrors, but war, OK?

Dr. SUZY
I just want to give a shout out to Counterpunch for running the written version of this, which is also available on our site, but it’s great because it’s a very political publication and yet they are very pro-sex in a way that could get them in trouble with their hyper politically correct readership, of which there are some. And anyway, they are very supportive, so shout out to Jeffrey St Clair and Joshua Frank and also to Kollibri, and after you say your piece, I want to share something that Kollibri shared on Twitter that’s very amusing, but you do your thing.

MAX
Go, go read it. Well, the only thing that I wanted to say, there’s wars and there’s wars that kill people, and then there’s wars to kill ideas. These are what Infowars are called actually.

Dr. SUZY
But don’t give that guy Alex any credit.

MAX
I don’t know his name.

Dr. SUZY
Ok, neither do I.

MAX
Don’t know his name.

Dr. SUZY
But he’s being sued, hopefully for a lot.

MAX
Yeah, he’s an ASS. This guy is an ASS that has done nothing but harm and he is part of, yeah—

Dr. SUZY
He’s done a lot for censorship because they use him as an excuse to censor the rest of us, because he’s such a liar.

MAX
Well, OK, so there we go. So then, there’s the war of lying. And the main the main aggressors of this war are Republicans, yes. They are into trafficking of lies.

Dr. SUZY
But the victims are often Lefties.

MAX
That’s correct. And their own people that are around.

Dr. SUZY
Everybody is adaptive because it’s censorship. But yeah, I mean the more famous you are, the less you’re the victim.

MAX
I think that’s correct. So that’s part of a war. That’s part of a war that is being, uh, pursued against you. When I say you, whose you, you as you let me, I mean, it’s you, it’s me.

When they take away my ability to speak, they have shot me in the brain. I am brain dead. That’s a war. OK, forced labor.

Dr. SUZY
This sounds like forced breeding. One aspect of forced labor is forced breeding.

MAX
Forced Republicans are into forced labor.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, that’s what they like.

MAX
Yeah, forcing—

Dr. SUZY
Women to bear children that they don’t want.

MAX
To bear children that they don’t want, can’t afford, you know, or they’re a mistake.

Dr. SUZY
And forcing people to take jobs they really don’t want that are often very risky for their lives.

MAX
That is correct.

Dr. SUZY
And they have to do it because they have no money and Republicans don’t like handouts, except for themselves.

MAX
Force hug. And forced labor is not only against the women, the prisoners of this country, we talk about China. We have horrific, horrific forced labor in this country.

Dr. SUZY
We do. It’s the force of capitalism. It’s the force of the megamachine. It’s the force of not having a little bit of socialism. Fuck Da Rich brothers and sisters.

Brian Redfern on Facebook says “Yep, I was kicked off Instagram for people with bare shoulders.”

MAX
Oh my God, you mean those clavicles that that are so sexy?

Dr. SUZY
Yes, you do find them sexy, don’t you?

MAX
Oh my God.

Dr. SUZY
Do you see?

MAX
Every time I see one of those, I go bananas.

Dr. SUZY
Now that I’m an older woman, I kind of feel that my shoulders are like my best feature. Now there’s a thing about shoulders and all these platforms they all say in their TOC that it could be just considered sexy or erotic and then it’s considered fair game for them to censor.

See in the old days, it was just nipples, and you might complain and say, oh, free the nipple! But at least you knew.

UNSCENE ABE
I just got to cover the nipple.

Dr. SUZY
Right. And the areola that was sort of a no man’s land or questionable territory, but in any case, it was there that was the problem or the crotch area. But now it’s like if the shoulders are presented in a certain way that is sexy, you’re censored, especially if you’re not famous. Because the famous people do it all the time, and they have pricey lawyers.

MAX
Yeah, they can do with that, it’s just you peasants.

Dr. SUZY
So, David D says “Alex Jones.”

MAX
No, don’t say that name.

Dr. SUZY
Well, he said that. “Infowars is not only getting sued, but he is losing his pants in court, he says on YouTube.” And that is true. And that hopefully, really, hopefully, he’s not like stowing it away.

MAX
And he’s got a big ass, so he can we can chop off pieces of it.

Dr. SUZY
I’m sure he’s miserable and stressed out and what really gets me is at first when I heard of him in the 90s, I kind of thought he was interesting ’cause he infiltrated Bohemian Grove, those sorts of Republicans who are hiding in the redwoods doing weird rituals.

UNSCENE ABE
A little bit.

Dr. SUZY
Greek-style stuff and not so bad. Actually, much worse to just be a Republican out in the open, which is what David D goes on to say, “how to Republican? Step one, believe you are better than everyone.” It’s sort of like being a Royal, right? “Believe you are better than everyone else.”

MAX
Who’s that, David D?

Dr. SUZY
Yes, David D and “Step 2: believe you have the right to decide how other people live their lives.” Yes.

Because know what? I go back and forth between believing I’m better than everyone and believing I’m worse than everyone and believing I’m the same, depending on my mood. So, I understand that you can’t help what you believe, but thinking you have the right to decide how other people live their lives? That’s the part that really sucks. That’s the part that the Republicans used to defend, yeah. And that’s what he’s saying is “how to Republican.” And that’s why Mary Trump, The Donald’s niece, the mango Mussolini, his niece, she says…

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
The Republicans were never afraid of Trump. They ARE Trump. They liked him because he said what they were afraid to say. Now he might be losing his usefulness. He might be wearing out his welcome and we’ll see how he goes. That’s another story. But he has been Republican all the way. He’s just been with the mask ripped off, so you see the true bloodthirsty face of Republican greed.

MAX
But he worked. Wasn’t he a Democrat?

Dr. SUZY
Well, he was sometimes in the old days. And it is a duopoly. And the Democrats are not a lot better, just a little bit.

MAX
Well, the reason we keep—

Dr. SUZY
At least Joe pardoned a few marijuana smokers today.

MAX
Well, hey, you know he’s stopped a war.

Dr. SUZY
A war. Then he got into another one, big time.

MAX
A war? Well, not with our troops yet. Not yet.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but anyway, it’s not all about just our troops.

MAX
So, let’s check in.

Dr. SUZY
I’m not so American that I worry only about our troops. I got such mixed feelings about this terrible war in Ukraine because of course Putin is such an aggressor, but we have our own responsibilities here that we should consider, and still I believe, and so I say in “Make Kink Not War,” we must send in a good Dominatrix to negotiate, because the kinksters know how to negotiate much better than any general or politician.

MAX
That’s correct. Freedom is becoming an endangered species. Well, that’s what Mr. Daniel Brenton said.

Dr. SUZY
Well, there you go.

MAX
Oh, OK. Hi there. Hi Dan. How are you doing on YouTube? Where are you listening from? What part of the world? Well, maybe alright is yeah, maybe you’ll say fuck.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, we know where Jux Lii is from. He moved to Vegas.

MAX
Well, now he’s on the move, he’s a mafia guy now, you know?

Dr. SUZY
He’s become a gambler.

MAX
There’s lots of hot girls there.

Dr. SUZY
Jux is an artist, we all know that.

MAX
He’s not just yet. We love you, Jux.

Dr. SUZY
We love you Jux! We hate you for leaving LA, but we love you forever anyway.

MAX
Right.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, he just wanted to get closer to Sin City, you know.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, well, we’re brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners right here in the Womb Room sanctuary of the little Love Church of the Bonobo Way and the village of Bonoboville.

MAX
No, incidentally, they call they call Vegas Sin City, but it’s just as easy to get a hooker here as in Sin City. So, you don’t have to move there if you just need to get a hooker.

Dr. SUZY
Adriana’s cousin was kicked out of her prom in North Carolina for her exposed shoulders, and her dress was just a little bit above the knee.

MAX
My goodness.

Dr. SUZY
I suppose this was recent.

MAX
Such a scandal.

Dr. SUZY
Well, hey, Brian was kicked off of Instagram for exposing shoulders. It sounds to me like the ‘50s brothers and sisters.

MAX
It is like the ‘50s.

Dr. SUZY
But maybe a little worse because you could always get away with things in the ‘50s.

MAX
Everybody was fucking everybody in town.

Dr. SUZY
There was always a Peyton Place going on.

MAX
I know about that. Yeah, the Key Clubs, the Air Force were the first swingers.

Dr. SUZY
The Key Clubs…

MAX
Remember that? Yeah, everybody knew about it.

Dr. SUZY
They were in the American Air Force, and they certainly had—not a “Make Love, Not War” kind of way— but they understood that they were at war and that they could die, and that then their wives—’cause they were all men that were the fighter pilots—so they would say “Hey, you are going to take care of my wife if I die, so therefore you should have sex with her. We should all share each other because we’re all in this Club where we’re going to be taking care of each other.” It’s an interesting theory. I don’t know what to make of it really—if it created really special bonds—and I don’t have time to explore it, but that was their kind of ostensible theory. And so, they got into swinging and they would throw the keys into a basket and go home with the partner who’s keys they picked.

And only in some cases. I think mostly they would choose according to who they felt like being with.

MAX
Right, right. But the game, initially it was as that’s literally ’cause nobody wanted to say who they wanted to fuck.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe they would know the keys sometimes. They could kind of look at the key and see which key and there would be a signal on the key.

MAX
Hello Nancy? That’s Harriet’s key.

Dr. SUZY
Or they could feel the key because of a little rabbit’s foot, they’d know whose key it was.

MAX
It’s Tokyo yellow rabbit.

Dr. SUZY
Ha ha.

MAX
But I mean every… Oh, by the way, you were talking about bras. One of my favorite styles of bras, yes, was the bullet bras.

Dr. SUZY
Oh yeah.

MAX
Oh yes, my math teacher used to wear.

Dr. SUZY
They were before my time, but Madonna brought them back in the ‘80s.

MAX
Oh, me. Yeah, man, yeah, I couldn’t add two and two, and she had to be there all the time trying to help me out with my math. And so, she would come behind me.

Dr. SUZY
With those bullet bra boobs.

MAX
Yeah, those bullet bras and the rockets. Where’d you go?

Dr. SUZY
Right through your back and down your pants.

MAX
Wow, she was hot.

Dr. SUZY
Alright.

MAX
I remember. I never did learn more than two and two, but OK. But I learned about bullet bras. And that’s the most important thing.

Dr. SUZY
That is a very important thing in some way to learn about sex and hopefully it’s a positive thing and hopefully it’s not a non-consensual thing and it’s OK if it’s a kinky thing, like bullet bras in your back.

MAX
It’s historical as part of… Right… And fashion.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, kink and fashion are very connected. After all those bullet bras were kinky and fashionable.

MAX
You know they have a—

Dr. SUZY
And David D says, “Max be speaking my language. Shoot me, baby, with those bullet bras.”

Yes, the guys love the bullet bras. I remember my Barbie doll had bullet boobs. The boobs were like a bullet bra without the bra, yeah.

MAX
Yeah, that was Ruth Handler.

MAX
Mattel Toys, who decided with her husband they both worked there that the dolls should be out of the kitchen, yes. And so, they gave them tits and ass, and legs and dresses and miniskirts, shooting, and that had a tremendous effect on fashion on women.

And then the other day I read something. I don’t know who this fucking woman is. She is selling nipples in Central Park. She sells nipples that you stick onto your nipple, but they’re big nipples, right? And she says that’s for the empowerment of women. These are our weapons.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, so Jux Lii says, “I want to fuck someone with a Porsche. Where’s them keys anyway?”  Yeah, I guess you would go by the car, you know, as to who you would have sex with. Sex was a more fluid thing back then. Now we’re all worried about diseases and also political correctness and also right-wing problems like are you going to get pregnant and what’s going to happen? And there’s so many stresses in a way that there weren’t in the ‘50s, but yet there’s also the Morality Police that are here but are worse in Iran.

Just like Iran, they of course killed this girl, this woman in custody. They killed her for sure, whether she died by a heart attack. Come on. What are you doing? You’re getting your hair pulled. You’re probably being beaten. You might have a heart attack. But she seems to have died from her beatings and it’s just outrageous. And so now the slogan there is: Women, life, freedom.

And hey, I like “Make Kink Not War” better. But hey, “women, life, freedom” is good. I’m for that too. And I’m going to get that T-shirt.

MAX
That’s great. I’m for the women.

Dr. SUZY
And you should get the Make Kink Not War T-shirt. OK, brothers and sisters, we got a T-shirt.

MAX
I mean, y’all. Can you come here? Yeah, we got a T-shirt over here. We’re broke. We’re like peasants in this whole machine. Get a T-shirt from us. Get a book.

Dr. SUZY
And this is a nice T-shirt. I mean, not that we don’t have other nice T-shirts, but we have this tee and it’s nice.

UNSCENE ABE
You know.

MAX
Yeah, look at that, huh? The shirt and the little Bonobo in there is done by Elaine. And guess what? Remember who Elaine was?

Dr. SUZY
Yes, she’s the artist that also drew Charlie Sheen and also drew Miley Cyrus.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, yeah.

MAX
She was correct. She was her sort of a designer.

Dr. SUZY
Right. And CC bill says we can’t sell anything that says Charlie Sheen, but we’re just talking CC bill. We’re not selling anything right now except the shirt, but it’s a whole different shirt.

MAX
Can you imagine you can’t sell a book with him in it?

Dr. SUZY
My goodness, there’s so much censorship.

MAX
Imagine you can’t sell a book because you mentioned Charlie Sheen.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, that’s great.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

MAX
I know, I know, I know.

Dr. SUZY
And this was a parody, and it was a show.

MAX
By the way, that could all be challenged in court.

Dr. SUZY
It could be.

MAX
But nowadays you can no longer. Or you have no course because you can’t afford it.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, you don’t make enough money doing your thing, and that’s what they figure.

MAX
You don’t need to defend yourself.

Dr. SUZY
That’s why they say you can’t do this, you can’t do this, you can’t do this because they know that you’re not going to spend the money.

MAX
Of course.

Dr. SUZY
Now if you’re Beyoncé, you will spend the money. And they know that. They know Beyoncé’s people, so Beyoncé gets to say whatever she wants.

MAX
Or if you’re me, you’ll get good lawyers with big balls. Or fleshy balls.

Dr. SUZY
Fleischy Balls.

MAX
Flashy balls or…

Dr. SUZY
It’s not flashy balls, it’s Fleischy Balls. It’s like Fleischmann’s margarine, like Stanley Fleischman’s Fleischy Balls. Ask Luzer how to pronounce that. Luzer Twersky. He’ll know. He has a new sound recording out where he speaks a book.

MAX
Well, I’m a convert. Yeah, right.

Dr. SUZY
Brothers and sisters, if you need to talk about kink privately, you can call us for telephone sex therapy. Experience what you can only get from the Dr. Susan Block Institute.

MAX
This and get the T-shirt before. And make sure you get the T-shirt before the price drops.

Dr. SUZY
Well, yeah, there’s the T-shirt and then there’s the therapy. They’re two different things.

MAX
Oh, by the way, she doesn’t come with the T-shirt.

Dr. SUZY
Of course, you could wear the T-shirt while you get therapy. That’s right. If you need therapy and you can afford it, of course, it’s your privacy that you’re paying for, then you should give us a call at 213-291-9497, with or without the T shirt. And you can always watch “Make Kink Not War” for free.

You can watch a lot of our stuff for free. Let’s face it, not much we’re selling, and mostly what we’re selling is censored. So, Make Kink Not War. We kind of made it with all these platforms in mind. So, you don’t see human sex, but you see a lot of bonobo sex.

UNSCENE ABE
That’s for sure.

Dr. SUZY
And so far, they haven’t censored it. Sometimes they do. We weren’t sure, but we kind of went with it and there is a lot of bonobo sex and there’s a lot of human kink. But it is so educational, I don’t know, I flatter myself to think that’s why perhaps it’s just gone under the radar of the censor bots.

My colleague Kollibri terre Sonnenblume has that for a royal name.

MAX
Sounds almost like mine

Dr. SUZY
Yes! He’s my Counterpunch colleague. He writes for Counterpunch, too, and he writes on Twitter, “So hilarious that a tweet from Dr. Suzy was right below yours,” and he’s writing to a dude named Christopher Justin and his Twitter handle is @wastelander702, so it sounds like he’s in Nevada. And so Kollibri says, “it’s hilarious that a tweet from Dr. Suzy that’s right below you, the Bonobo way offers a very different perspective, one I personally find much more inspirational.”

So, here’s what Christopher Justin Wastelander had to say that was right above my Make Kink Not War tweet:

“And it said war is an integral part of human nature from the moment one human gained something from bashing another with a rock. Trying to conquer our neighbors, whether on a national level or seeking status advancement on the school playground, is unfortunately our primary driver.”

MAX
The reason?

Dr. SUZY
And I said “funny juxtaposition, as archaeology shows for over 190,000 years, we humans did not make war, and we were in the same bodies and minds that we’re in now. But we didn’t make war. We lived with each other. And yes, I go on to say, yes, we had some violence and murder. Individual murders maybe. But not war. For 190,000 years we didn’t have war, no group tribal wars to conquer our neighbors until about 8000 BCE. I say BCE, which is Before the Christian Era… and why did we start making war? Because of the mega machine, because we started to own property, because we started farming, and once you farm, you’ve got to stay on the land and then you get into owning the land and then you get into protecting the land and then you get into owning the crops that are on the land.  And then you get into owning the animals that are on the land, including perhaps the people that are on the land. And you have to defend that. So, you need guards, an army, and you develop an army, a military, to defend your property. See, for 190,000 years we were hunter gatherers. We didn’t have property. And then gradually over a few thousand years, we started creating these farms. And they weren’t all military, but the military ones were pretty aggressive. I guess it’s all coming to us now. We’re all hearing about it, and it’s all the roots of colonialism. Because you could say that the native tribes in North America were all, almost all of the old ways where they didn’t make wars that much, but colonialism was all about war and all about slavery and all about ownership.

And now we have the four tyrannies that we talked about last time, which are 1) the military and 2) the economy, making money, the Midas touch, it turns everything to gold, and everything dies, including your very own daughter. And then you have. What was number three? Oh yeah, religion.

MAX
And can I just say one little thing?

Dr. SUZY
OK, but number four is linear thinking, but that’s complicated. So, you can say a lot of things now, but I have to come back to this story because OK, this is a story. See, I told you earlier that my stories take a while.

UNSCENE ABE
OK.

MAX
OK, no I’m mentioning—OK, then go back to that story, then. Go ahead. Go ahead ’cause otherwise I’ll forget what I’m… Yeah, yeah, go ahead. That’s quick.

Dr. SUZY
So Christopher tweets back to all of us, “Hey I’m down for it.” This is the guy that said it’s all about war! We convinced him. We told him the Bonobo way in a tweet. I hate to be blowing my own

MAX
(Choo train sound)
Choo Choo!

Dr. SUZY
Anyway, Christopher writes, “Hey, I’m down for it. I’m not a very inspirational fella. Make Kink Not War. It sounds good to me.”

And then Kollibri tweets, “Dr. Suzy makes a great case!” because Kollibri is actually a lawyer. Just kidding, no he isn’t. He’s actually a great outdoorsy kind of guy and very good writer and very good photographer. He has photos of the outdoors.

MAX
Yeah, those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those views, some of them are beautiful.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, yes. And also, some that show the ugliness of the world. So anyway, we converted Christopher. So, somebody asks me at the Make Kink Not War talk, “how do I spread the Bonobo Way?” So that’s how you do it.

MAX
So, you were talking about the Fort? And I was going to answer him, but apparently, he’s been converted already.

Dr. SUZY
We converted him.

MAX
You converted him so but—

Dr. SUZY
I do have a philosophy. I’m guilty of that.

MAX
Yeah, no, no, no. But what went wrong? This wasn’t with humanity all the time. This was a wrong turn. This was a wrong turn in philosophy.

Dr. SUZY
It was only 8000 years ago.

MAX
Right. It was a wrong turn, and that’s why we’re killing each other, right? If not, we would be working together, fucking together. We would be fucking with the Chinese with this and that.

Dr. SUZY
We’d be like bonobos.

MAX
We would be, yeah, we’d be integrating and that’s something that Billy once said.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, and I hate to sound a little bit like racist, but I think the Chinese are more open to this then Americans, or Euro or Russo, certainly Putin is not too open to this and certainly NATO is not open to this. They are threatening nuclear war. China is, I guess, holding it back.

MAX
China isn’t going to nuke.

Dr. SUZY
Well, no. But can they hold us back from nuking each other over Ukraine?

MAX
Have you got a guy who’s sitting in a bunker?

Dr. SUZY
Yes, on his 70th birthday, Mr. Poopin’ Putin is probably pooping in his pants down in that bunker.

MAX
Yes, who wouldn’t? Yeah, I’m down here.

Dr. SUZY
He looks so stoney-faced, but, you know, wow, they got a bridge that blew up today and it killed people, though, I really don’t celebrate these Ukrainian accomplishments because they all kill people.

MAX
But again, we’ve changed. We took the wrong turn in the world, how we see the world.

Dr. SUZY
We got to make kink, not war.

MAX
Yeah, we have to, we have to take care of each other whether with Chinese, Japanese, Indians, black, white, purple or yellow, and we’re all on the same fucking rock.

Dr. SUZY
We sent the press release out to all the mainstream press and they don’t bother looking at it. But at Counterpunch, of course, they posted the whole article and AVN posted a press release, as did Xbiz. So, I think it’s important to state that the pornstars and kinksters are on the front lines of the war against sexual repression and oppression, and this is a war that we, sex positive people did not start, OK?

We just want to be. Left alone to get laid and maybe make a little money with our pictures.

MAX
Smoke a little dope.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, and that too.

MAX
Oh, I had a little chocolate bar—

Dr. SUZY
Oh, nice.

MAX
Before I started this show and it’s kind of now started taking effect.

Dr. SUZY
Ah, Chocolate is an aphrodisiac, and so is Cannabis, so maybe we’ll have sex later.

MAX
Did you hear that, Charlie?

Well, we were talking about philosophy, and I want to go back to that to say it again to you. I say it again to you, the war is against you personally. Yeah, you sitting there. You put your ear here.

Dr. SUZY
So, the pornstars and the kinksters are on the front lines of the war against sexual oppression, it is not a war that we started. It is a war that was started by Judeo-Christo Fascism, Islamofascism, as evidenced over there in Iran, but also other countries, and it is evidenced by that 3rd tyranny of religious Fascism that is specifically aimed at sex, at controlling sex.

MAX
Christofascists.

Dr. SUZY
And yeah, of course you gotta control your sexuality somewhat. I don’t disagree. Of course, it should be consensual. And the funny thing is, of course, the way the right wing wants to control sex is not that it be consensual. After all, they want women to give birth to their rapists’ babies or suffer criminal consequences. So, there is no respect for consent among a lot of the Christofascists that are pushing the Dodds decision and making anti-abortion the law of the land. So, we’ve got to Make Kink Not War, brothers and sisters because it might be all we got.

Anyway, we support the pornstars and the kinksters, and you should too. You should not be afraid to admit to supporting sex workers.

MAX
Here I am.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, welcome back Captain Max.

MAX
I am here with my cioccolato. So, I’m not—

Dr. SUZY
And Free Assange. Today, if you are tuned in live, Julian Assange is being supported by a huge worldwide protest and the chief center of it was a human chain around parliament to let Parliament know how many people just in London alone would like some humanity here, or some reason, or some philosophy. Why are you keeping a journalist in a draconian dungeon? Because he’s a journalist and he says things that you don’t like about a war?

MAX
Hey, Brandon.

Dr. SUZY
Brandon, yes. Go Brandon, come on. Why don’t you be a hero on this? This would earn you a lot more respect than anything.

MAX
Oh my God, this would give you history.

Dr. SUZY
And you know Trump is known for overseeing the lock up of Julian Assange, even though Julian Assange had been hanging out at the Ecuadorian embassy.

MAX
And as always, we’re sticking our noses where our noses shouldn’t be in other people’s lives.

Dr. SUZY
We tried to kill him. That is, Trump’s team tried to kill him. Pompeo, with aspirations to be Julius Caesar, or Pompeii, his namesake, was in charge.

MAX
Pompeo, the fat Italian. Nothing against fat people. Yeah, but this guy, this guy had donuts coming out of his neck.

Dr. SUZY
It’s part of being a mafioso, like a soprano.

MAX
No, no, no, but no he’s nice yeah. He’s a lost the summer weight, you know.

Dr. SUZY
Around the donut, yeah. Right. He’s a pizza, yeah.

MAX
Just a pizza.

Dr. SUZY
Of course. He’s a white pizza, right, a Pizza Bianca.

MAX
And listen, listen, I think I often get accused of being against fat people.

Dr. SUZY
Well, you lost a lot of weight.

MAX
And that could be the farthest from the truth, because I’m going to go back almost 50 years. I got a letter from a reader, he says, “How come you always have these… Why don’t you have some fat people on there? On your front cover?”

And he sends a picture of his wife. So, he says, “Who’s this big tub?” And she’s very cute. And he says, “I dare you to publish this.”

And we almost had all these liberals. We were all radical. Oh my God, what’s going to happen? And then we said, “Nope. We’ll put her on the front page,” she went on the front page. She was one of the best-selling covers who we ever put on Love magazine, by the way, if you have that cover, and I know some of you do, I sure would like to get a copy of it.

Dr. SUZY
Right. We were talking about Love magazine the other day with those producers who were interested in Annie Sprinkle because of course, she was on Real Sex. All things are connected… Love Magazine to Real Sex on HBO to now. So, we’re doing interviews about all of this and a series they’re calling Sex before the Internet.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
Which is funny, because, hey, I go back with sex before the Internet for humans, like, 200,000 years, the start of humans. That would be sex before the Internet among humans alone. Or you could go back before that, before we had humans, if we’re really talking “sex before the internet.” But really what they’re talking about is sex in the ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90S and early 2000s. But it should be exciting. They interviewed me about HBO. And they’re going to also interview you about your magazines.

MAX
Well, OK. So, I’m glad you brought that up because I’m very proud of what’s been going on with myself and Dr. Suzy.

You know we’re not Johnny-come-lately. Know we’ve been fighting this battle together for many, many, many years. We were fighting police brutality. And they go, “You’re anti-police.”

And I’m not anti-police at all. I’m all for good police.

Dr. SUZY
While Harry says that “speaking of ‘make kink not war,’ we need to drop porn stars behind both lines in the war.” Haha, “Behind both lines” means he wants some for himself, behind his own line.

MAX
Yeah, sure. By the way, Luzer says they have some of the best hookers there.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, Ukraine, yes. The best hookers? Well, that’s important to know.

MAX
Well, the Russians also claim that, yeah, if you recall.

Dr. SUZY
That they have the best deals.

MAX
Oh yeah, we go.

Dr. SUZY
So, I think every place that supports their hookers is going to say that they have the best hookers.

MAX
Not here in America. He’s a connoisseur. He refused. He removes it.

Dr. SUZY
Maybe you don’t pay in actual money, you pay in your sparkling conversation. That’s how Luzer knows these hookers so well, hahaha.

MAX
He does, right? Anyways…

Dr. SUZY
They always have somebody that they don’t charge.

MAX
I grew up with hookers. I love hookers.

Dr. SUZY
The thing about all of this is we have to make clear, because, you know, the feminists, the #MeToo activists often go after you when you recommend that sex workers kind of help out in the political arena. So, it’s important to clarify that it is always the sex workers’ choice, and they should also be paid.

MAX
I just asked someone to get me a copy of a statement that Steve Jobs made before he died, his last statement, and I wanted to read it. Otherwise, if it was here actually I would have you read it because it’s a really powerful, and a very nice socialist piece.

Dr. SUZY
Steve Jobs? I don’t consider him a great socialist.

MAX
I’m talking about his last statement. I’m not talking about who he was, what he was.

Dr. SUZY
So, what else?

MAX
What else? I mean, sure, what else can we talk about? If you’re going to ask me, then I’m going to talk to you about the same old shit. There’s a war against your philosophy, your way of life. There’s a critical war that involves arms, that involves killing, that involves deep intrusion into our lives.

Dr. SUZY
So, what do you think people should do about it?

MAX
Be aware of it and fight it every second.

Dr. SUZY
Fight with what?

MAX
With their words. Every day I do it, whether I’m talking to an operator or talking to⁠—I don’t care who I’m talking to, I’ll bring up Trump or I’ll bring up something else that’s going on and they go, “Oh, wow. Yeah.”

Dr. SUZY
We should fight with words and fight with nonviolent actions.

MAX
Well, you fight. We win. We stopped the Vietnam War, that way—with words.

Dr. SUZY
We did. We stopped that war with “Make Love, Not War.” But we didn’t stop all the wars, which is what I kind of thought we would somehow.

MAX
No. Yeah, right.

Dr. SUZY
But we at least stopped the draft in America.

MAX
We stopped the draft.

Dr. SUZY
Little did I know they’d have it in Russia, with the same sort of problem.

MAX
Yeah, now we have people that want to kill.

Dr. SUZY
Now we have a lot of people that want to kill.

MAX
Volunteers volunteered.

Dr. SUZY
In the military and in the street, in the supermarket, shooting up massage parlors, shooting up various places and now they had a mass shooting in a nursery in Thailand.

MAX
I know.

Dr. SUZY
So, it’s all over the world, brothers and sisters, and this was a former police officer who was fired because of drugs, and he was angry, so first he shot his wife and child, then he shot all these children and teachers.

MAX
The anger… People are mad.

Dr. SUZY
It is so tragic to hear about it going on all over the world, and especially I feel it is because our leaders have gone in such an opposite direction from the Bonobo Way, they have gone in a direction that encourages ammosexuality. It encourages young men especially to use violence, but young women too are being violent, ridiculously violent. People that are in the prime of their sexuality, when they should be expressing themselves through their sexuality, they are expressing themselves through violence.

MAX
But that’s… We have thoughts.

Dr. SUZY
And it is mostly young men, but it is also young women, and it is also young everybody. And it is also old people, and it is because this society encourages violence. We show plenty of war toys that kill people, but we’re not allowed to show sex toys that help people.  We all give awards to horror movies, but we censor sex, and we censor words. We give awards to superhero movies that kill the bad guy, but we censor making love.

MAX
They censor nipples!

Dr. SUZY
And shoulders. We censor shoulders, brothers and sisters. See why people are going nuts? Because guns are supported, but shoulders are forbidden. Shoulders must be covered.

MAX
Going to show you—

Dr. SUZY
Hair must be covered in Iran. Shoulders must be covered on Instagram if you hold them a certain way.

MAX
My shoulder.

Dr. SUZY
Hey, it is disgusting, this censorship, these Morality Police. How can we stop it? We gotta figure it out. I got the Bonobo Way going here, that’s my idea of a better way. If you have a better idea, let me know.

MAX
I always have some ideas that most of them, about 99% of them you want to get rid of. OK, ’cause otherwise you really fuck yourself. You lose yourself.

Dr. SUZY
I just do not want to make war in any way. I think once you start making war, you’re destroying the earth, you’re destroying a lot of people lives and for what? The megamachine… and you just gave me a piece of paper with a tremendous amount of small print. What would you like me to do with this?

MAX
Can you read it? You can read it.

Dr. SUZY
OK, here we go. For you, I will read it.

MAX
Well, first of all, tell who it is.

Dr. SUZY
At least part of it.

MAX
This is a guy, by the way, that ripped off gazillions of people with his first phones and his experiments and all of that. But besides that, I used to sell his blue box, which was a way to not pay the phone companies.

Dr. SUZY
I thought that was a black box.

MAX
They’re called blue boxes, black boxes and orange boxes, right?

This, supposedly, was his last statement, and I found it kind of interesting because we all achieve what this man achieved, and that is, the richest man in the world. So what? And that’s what he says.

Dr. SUZY
You ready?

MAX
Yeah, well, I’m already. And could you say who it is?

Dr. SUZY
It doesn’t say, but I know it’s Steve Jobs, right?

MAX
That was his last statement.

Dr. SUZY
OK, so it’s Steve Jobs. I’m going to take off my glasses so I can become one with the piece of paper.

MAX
Certainly, go right ahead.

Dr. SUZY
Ahem… “I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In other eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you, but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced, but there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost—Life.

Whichever stage in life you’re in right now, with time you will face the day when the curtain falls. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, treat yourself well, and cherish others. As we grow older and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $3000 or $30 watch…”

You can tell this was written before his cell phone became too popular.

“…Both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy. If the plane goes down⁠—you go down with it.

Therefore, I hope you realize when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing with. Talk about North-East, South-West, or heaven and earth. That is true happiness. Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy.”

His daughter is one of the richest women in the world now.

MAX
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that’s what he’s trying to get some forgiveness for her, I suppose.

Dr. SUZY
“…So when they grow up, they will know the value of things. Not the price. Eat your food as your medicine. Otherwise, you have to eat medicine as your food.”

The one with the capital O.

“The One who loves you will never leave you for another, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or

Huh. OK. Says the guy who had a divorce I think, but anyway…

“There is a big difference between a human being and being human.”

Being humane… A Bonobo is more humane than a human being, for the most part, only if you really understand it. Did you, Steve? I’m sorry to talk to him.

“Now you are loved when you are born.”

Is that right? Not always. Especially now that we have no abortion. A lot of people that are born are not loved. So, Steve’s wrong about that.

“You will be loved when you die.”

Again, not always. Actually, even less likely.

“In between you have to manage.”

Well, maybe he means something very spiritual that really is not about your material position in life. Because when you are born into poverty to someone who does not want to have a baby, that ain’t love. Or that’s a certain type of love that is forced, that becomes cruelty eventually.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And then you might kill your parents.

MAX
It’s trafficking, number one.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, definitely trafficking and forced breeding.

MAX
Yeah, and forced breeding really like with your horse.

Dr. SUZY
A mare, because mostly it is a female.

MAX
Yeah, mare, come over here.

Dr. SUZY
“Female,” by the way, is a word that you got to kind of explain it these days. It’s sometimes useful, but it doesn’t portray personhood. It’s true. It is about also being an animal. And I do think humans are animals, so I have mixed feelings about the word female.

“The six best doctors in the world are sunlight.”

I agree with that. I love sunlight, even in pollution, although that is a problem.

MAX
That’s why it was a God. It’s not a God anymore.

Dr. SUZY
And the fact that it also gives you skin cancer is another problem.

MAX
Ah yeah, then there’s that. That’s a little problem.

Dr. SUZY
But I do think sunlight is very important to my mental health and my respiratory health.

MAX
In vitamin D.

Dr. SUZY
So, I agree with you Steve Jobs, about sunlight and too many people are staying inside, though for good reason. It’s scary to go out among the shooters. I’m very grateful we have a yard. I can do my yoga.

Next is “rest” and that is very important. I don’t get enough of that. So sorry, Steve. I should get more sleep. But I can’t sleep, so I guess I should drug myself, or maybe just have more sex so I can fall asleep. But even after having sex, I don’t sleep longer than four hours at a time, if that. And then I’m up and actually more energetic. OK Steve, sorry. Rest is tough and you don’t have sex listed here. “Exercise.” Alright. I try to do my yoga. Sure. “Diet.” Yeah. “Self-confidence and friends,” blah blah blah. Sounds like typical self-help pablum. He doesn’t say anything about joy or sex or pleasure or socialism. Nothing like that. This is why you were miserable, Steve. OK, “friends,” good idea. But what if your friends are also miserable? Where is the pleasure, Steve?

Even as you’re dying in the Hospice, you should have some hookers around your bed. That’s what Zorthian had. And there’s a female version.

MAX
Yeah, that’s what I had. I had none when I was a kid.

Dr. SUZY
I would like to have something that I want for pleasure as I die, at least a massage.

MAX
Hookers are good.

Dr. SUZY
Well, for you, I don’t necessarily want a hooker.

MAX
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you have hookers, honey.

MAX
I got this thing. I gotta do something.

Dr. SUZY
Right, right. I would probably like a very good all-around massage, including a pussy massage.

MAX
Pussy massage?

Dr. SUZY
Sure, sending me off into the next world with a smile.

MAX
As you’re going into the election.

Dr. SUZY
But I would want to stick around longer if it was a good massage. And then there’s all the yoga, confidence-building, friend-maintaining, it all sounds like so much work, Steve.

“Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life,” he says, though he certainly died young for someone who knows so much. Sorry to be a little sarcastic, but really, he’s so pompous here.

MAX
Oh no, no, no. That’s quite alright. I don’t know if you really wrote that. I doubt it, you know. I mean it because everything is so, but they—

Dr. SUZY
He was busy creating Apples for other people to eat.

MAX
Yeah, but you see that they’re trying to push a philosophy to eat well too, you know?

Dr. SUZY
It’s such an old worn-out philosophy that has been around since God and Goddess know. It’s nothing new or helpful. Okay, you should enjoy your life, and you should eat well, if you can afford it.

MAX
Yeah, but you know some, you don’t know if other people believe in it.

Dr. SUZY
He actually doesn’t even have “enjoy your life” here.

MAX
No, he has the pursuit of happiness. Yeah, to be happy.

Dr. SUZY
Because he didn’t spend more time with his friends and his family, so he thinks that’s why he’s miserable. I think it’s ’cause he didn’t get laid enough.

MAX
Probably not, ’cause he was busy.

Dr. SUZY
At least not by people like in the way he liked, probably because he had some fetish he didn’t share. He was a nerd with a fetish, I think.

MAX
He was down there.

Dr. SUZY
I’m making this up, of course, but I think this letter supports the idea that Steve Jobs had a secret kink.

MAX
Yeah, that’s funny. But he also made these blue boxes or black boxes before he made those computers.

Dr. SUZY
To sneak into other people’s lives.

MAX
To bypass the phone companies.

Dr. SUZY
All right, well, nothing wrong with that.

MAX
For which I got dragged into court, but OK. So, it’s very personal for me.

Dr. SUZY
He probably had some personal fetish that he did not follow through on, some personal kink that he didn’t want to bring out because he gave so much of his time and shine to Apple.

He channeled his kinky feelings into his career. A lot of people believe in their career as a solution to their unsettled feelings. You know, it’s funny, I had a question on the list that they didn’t actually ask me at the interview, which was: What are your career goals? If they actually asked, I would have said I don’t really have career goals. I don’t have a career. I have a life, yes. Not so much a career, but I think Steve Jobs had a career that he separated from his family and from what he considered life and joy and maybe pleasure and eating well. He would maybe eat badly in order to stay in the office late, so he was obsessed with eating well towards the end.

But we have to go, right?

MAX
Hell yeah, we’re done. That’s it, folks. See you all.

Dr. SUZY
So, Make Kink Not War.

MAX
Follow the right direction. Don’t go off the wrong road.

Dr. SUZY
Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make Love⁠—as well as kink⁠—Not War

MAX
Not war.

Dr. SUZY
Not war, no.

Dr. SUZY
Make Love—as well as kink—to someone you love—as well as feel kinky towards—tonight… Even if that someone is you. I love you.

MAX
I love you.

Dr. SUZY
And I feel kinky towards you!

Show Length 01:23:20  HD

© October 8,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.