Length 01:31:45  Date: August 14, 2021

by Dr. Susan Block. 

Slipping into a slinky pink latex miniskirt, I pledge my forever love and send my momentary regret to DomCon LA, where fabulous FemDoms and kinksters are now gathering to tie each other up and whip each other good… without me.

Waaah!

DomCon Mi Amor

I was honored to be named DomCon 2021 Mistress of Ceremonies and so excited to see all my friends and lovers in real life (IRL) at DomCon, the Comic-Con of Kink and the Met Gala of Fetish. Our convention was only virtual in 2020—though Mistress Cyan also asked me to host an Ask Dr. Suzy session at DomCon New Orleans. All that virtual kink was fun and stimulating. Nevertheless, I really missed all the IRL intimacy and stimulating spectacles like crazy.

But these are crazy times. Things are different from last year, but unfortunately, the Coronapocalypse has not yet climaxed. No one appears to clearly know what to do—not even the experts, and certainly not those anti-science, anti-vax, anti-mask quacks that act like they do know—before their Covid deathbed change-of-heart.

In the midst of this misinfo madness, spiked with real sickness and death, all we can do is what we think is best for our community and ourselves—even though what we *think* is often laced with fear, delusion and unrealistic ideals.

As my beloved “prime mate” and the Conductor of this Love Train—and my life!—Capt’n Max often says:

The Ideal is the Enemy of the Real.

So, who knows if I’m being realistic or just paranoid, but when it comes to Covid-19 and its Variant Gang, I’m a sissy.

I love sissies and adult diaper babies (and I have to admit, this latex skirt “makes my butt sweat,” as my Montana radio engineer used to say about my show back in the day).

Though I’m usually more of a FemDom bonobo, and I’ve done some pretty scary stuff—climbing to the Golden Gate Bridge, traveling through pre-American Occupation Afghanistan, having sex on horseback, partying like a bonobo at the epicenter of orgies, surviving septic shock (on a ventilator), then getting back into the orgies, etc. etc. etc.

However, I’m not about to challenge Domina Delta Variant to a wrestling match. Not even a friendly erotic catfight.

So before the live broadcast, I sit down at the Speakeasy bar with Chico, the two of us drowning our sorrows in peanut butter (Chico) and weed (me), as we share our regrets that we can’t be there with our beloved DomCon friends.

We also have a kinktastic DomCon Bound (2018) throwback show to get you into a spanking-hot DomCon mood, if you’re brave enough to venture into the bowels of the Hilton this year. Or, if you’re a Covid–Sissy like me, just get comfy and savor those vicarious thrills.

If you’ve ever been to DomCon before, it will certainly trigger wonderful memories—with mammaries!

There are always fabulous parades, wild play parties, sapiosexual talks and classy classes.

Speaking of classes, DomCon really ought to offer a class in “Duct Tape Bondage for Flight Attendants.”  I’m not kidding. Apparently, the most effective method for handling unruly passengers—of which there are a lot lately—is to gag and restrain them in their seats with duct tape.

Of course, it’s nonconsensual, but so are many kinds of police or security work, especially when a subject is combative, and duct tape bondage is more bonoboësque than punching unruly passengers, drugging them or letting them wreak havoc among the other passengers. I just think they should take a DomCon class in how to do that safely and even pleasantly. After all, some of the unruly ones who happen to be bondage fetishists will be acting up precisely to get tied up (especially after they’ve seen some of the photos).

Well, freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second. As I write this, bondage fetishists the world over are fantasizing about getting duct-taped to their seats by sexy but stern flight attendants.

Not that I want to encourage that. Don’t be harassing your beleaguered, hard-working flight attendants just so they’ll tie you up!

Everything Will Be Okay… if We Go the Bonobo Way

When it’s time for our live F.D.R. (Fuck da Rich) broadcast, since I’m all gussied up, we turn the camera on me during most of the live Reddit feed (usually it’s all on Max, except our Wedding Anniversary). This generates a bit of excitement, which is good for our ratings and my ego. Comments roll in calling me a “hot Mama,” MILF, “eyegasmic,” “Beautiful Ma’am,” and “you look like my Aunt and I want to hug you. Can you tell me everything is going to be okay? I kinda need to hear that.”

Aw… With all that’s going on these days, I kind of “need to hear that” too.

So I look into the Reddit camera eye and tell “Imkapor”—in my most heartfelt Auntie Suzy voice—that “everything is going to be okay,” and I actually convince myself.

So, maybe it’s true. Everything is going to be okay… if we follow the Bonobo Way. Hey, I’m not about to “trust God” about this stuff.

F.D.R. Command Central

Speaking of bonobo apes, my favorite characterization comes in from “Electra Storm” (guess she’s raining Daddy issues), who says “I’m living for this Jane Goodall in Vegas look.”

I love it! Maybe Ms. Storm is being a bit tongue-in-cheek, but still it’s a good one, maybe even better than what Tom Quinn called me, “Jane Goodall After Dark.”

Seriously, Jane Goodall is one of my heroes. And she said she “loved” the Bonobo Way!

She’d probably also love my new interview, Survival of the Friendliest, with Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods. You probably will too!

Ammosexual Incels

The Duct Tape Dialogue turns from the sex-positive bonobos—our female-empowered, sharing-oriented, kissing cousins who have lots of sex and never kill each other—to the ammosexual incels of contemporary human “civilization.”

It’s becoming clearer every day that being “civilized” makes human—not to mention all other—life more dangerous, inequitable, stressful and depressing than so-called “savagery.”

As a sexologist, I see many mass-murderers possess—or are possessed by—an “ammosexual incel” mentality.

Ammosexual Incels? Oy. A whole different kind of AI to be wary of. 

Whether or not it’s terrorism, ammosexual incel murder is really a sex crime… without the sex.

Most mass murderers don’t identify as incel or ammosexual per se. They just have lousy sex lives, hate themselves, love their guns, and blame society (especially women they find sexy) for their misery. Whether they’re aware of it or not, they often seem to be trying to compensate for their sexual frustration and perceived inadequacy by pulling the climactic trigger of their glamorous and deadly penis-substitutes.

None have copped to being ammosexual (though some of their elaborate firearm collections speak for themselves), but every so often, one of these douchebags declares that he is an “incel,” sometimes quoting other infamous incels like Elliot Rodger and Alek Minassian, before massacring a bunch of unlucky humans in a rampage that may or may not climax with the ammosexual incel’s own suicide.

That’s pretty much what Jake Davison, a tRump supporter living in England, declared in various social media screeds he posted prior to murdering his own mother and then slaughtering four other people before turning his (legal owned) gun on himself.

It was the first mass shooting in the U.K. in 11 years.

Talk about cancel culture. How about canceling someone’s life? This is the so-called “blackpill” of extreme incel’ism.

The anti-immigration set might be interested to know that Davison was an immigrant. He was born in Phoenix, Arizona!

Some people want to classify incel crime as “terrorism,” and that’s understandable. Phonetically, the word “incel” has the word “cell” inside it.  Also, many political terrorists are incel-like religious virgins like the Underwear Bomber.

Still, the “terrorism” label is a slippery slope, as Max reminds us that he was called a “media terrorist” when publishing his pioneer sex magazines.

Whether or not it’s terrorism, ammosexual incel murder is really a sex crime… without the sex.

Incels are assholes who feel they deserve sex even though they are assholes. And they do! Just not necessarily with the women of their fantasies. Where do they get these fantasies? From our competitive, capitalist, idealizing, star-worshipping sex-negative society that criminalizes professional sex, (still) stigmatizes gay relationships and mocks masturbation. And then this greedy, teasing yet moralistic, oligarchical authority doesn’t even help out its poor male assholes (like it used to) with arranged marriages.  So, it’s every asshole for himself.

Parents aren’t much help anymore. The first woman this incel killed was his own mother.

It’s not unusual to call these incels assholes (everyone does), and indeed, they are the infected pimples on the ass of society. But they are also our sons and brothers and guys-next-door daydreaming on their mom’s basement couch by the light of 4chan.

I haven’t done or seen any surveys on this subject; I just have the anecdotal stories of several of my own ammosexual incel clients to go on. Thanks to their therapy, they are keeping their raging feelings of inadequacy under control, slowly trading the frustrations of the ideal for the satisfactions of the real. Interestingly, it turns out several of them are gay.  For them, part of identifying as “incel” is fighting their own very natural, but frightening, gay feelings. They might have fantasies of cuckolding, submission or humiliation that conflict so deeply with their life goals (or their parents’ life goals), they seek “refuge” in the militant, ammosexual, yet self-pitying incel culture.

Sometimes basic guilt about masturbating triggers incel mania, because “real men have hot girlfriends and don’t fap,” or some such nonsense. I try to help them see that there’s nothing wrong with self-love, especially in these crazy Coronapocalyptic times. Sometimes, you just need to “swing through life,” and like old Stephen Stills sang, “Love the one you’re with” (even if that “one you’re with” is you!).

Whip it up for F.D.R!

It’s part of liberating your inner bonobos. Empowered bonobo females have created a peaceful society with no killing by sexually selecting the “nice guys” for intercourse. As we discuss on “Survival of the Friendliest,” this sexual selection is one vital reason for bonobos’ remarkable friendliness and peacefulness. But it’s important to note that the other bonobo guys, who maybe aren’t so nice or appealing, also enjoy an abundance of sexual activity. Maybe not so much intercourse, but they have lots of pansexual outercourse, masturbation, and sex with their fellow males.

This why I often say there are no incels in Bonoboville.

I mean the Bonoboville in the wild, of course. In the Coronapocalypse, our human Bonoboville isn’t quite the erotic pleasure palace it used to be.

Of course, sexual frustration is no excuse for any crime or nonconsensual act, let alone mass murder. Nevertheless, maybe we can get a clue from what bonobos do to treat our incel virus.

Yes, terrorist or not, the growing ammosexual incel problem is a virus, spreading from human being to human being via the penetrative magic of the internet. These days, there’s a QAnon variant, both virulent fantasy forms feeding on each other’s poisonous raging hunger for some ideal and adamant refusal to accept reality.

Climate Catastrophe, whether you believe in it or not, makes everything worse and worse.

But no worries, Imkapor, everything will be okay.

At least, Britney Spears is almost free of her greedy Daddy’s conservatorship. Soon we will see how a free Britney will be.

Unfortunately, journalist and publisher Julian Assange, one of the most principled celebrities of our times, is not free.

His horrific state of bondage is the opposite of consensual. This week, the U.S. came one step closer to extraditing Assange from the dungeons of Belmarsh in the U.K. to even harsher conditions in the American Prison-Industrial Complex Gulag.

Listen to the show for more and read this excellent piece by my fellow Counterpunch writer and Assange’s fellow Aussie, Binoy Kampmark.

Indeed, this farce has turned into the Anglo-American War on Assange.

Bad Influence

Lots of Reddit comments pour in on this show, and not just because of my Vegas-y look (I do love the Vegas-y, unapologetically sexual, retired showgirl look, even though I kind of hate Vegas). People are very intense about some of the issues.

One dude who calls himself “InfluencersInfluence” goes on about how the U.S. should have armed the Afghan women to fight the Taliban before pulling out. I’m as anti-Taliban as anyone, maybe more than most, since I’ve traveled through the beautiful pre-Taliban Afghanistan, but InfluencersInfluence doesn’t have enough influence to rise above the other comments (we had a LOT). So apparently, we influenced InfluencersInfluence to take our bait (“Call us!” we coo, “and win the Bonobo Way”), and he calls the show, identifying himself as “Defense Attorney” Brian from Kentucky. He sure sounds like he’s under the influence of his state’s finest Jim Beam, as he rattles on about his Amazon Wonder Woman fantasies of arming Afghan ladies and girls to fight the Taliban, even suggesting that I am not a true sex-positive feminist unless I’m ready and willing to fight, kill my fellow humans and die for Afghan women’s rights.

Hey, the ideal is the enemy of the real, and I never claimed to be anyone’s ideal, least of all Kentucky Brian’s ideal, though I understand that pulling out is hard to do, when we shouldn’t have invaded in the first place. But Brian shows his true colors, so to speak, by gratuitously, grossly and just plain moronically using the “N” word when yapping (non-stop) about Afghanistan. Seriously folks, if I was a flight attendant, I’d have Kentucky Brian tied up and gagged with my pink duct tape in no time. That would influence the InfluencersInfluence.

He did win a free copy of the Bonobo Way, so maybe that will have some influence…

Go Bananas for Bonobos

Also, when I counter his passion for “liberating” Afghan women with ‘why don’t we liberate the women of Saudi Arabia?” he gets off his high horse. Freeing the Afghan women is something warmongers have been saying we’re there to do for the past 20 years of brutal and demoralizing American occupation that only makes the Taliban “look good” as their country’s liberators from American oppression.

It is messy, tragic and looks like Vietnam. But it was only right to pull out of there, and it is only right to pull out of Afghanistan, and the bottom line is the U.S. should not have invaded either country in the first place. For more about that, check out my Counterpunch colleague Raouf Halaby’s Déjà Vu: Saigon, Vietnam, 1975;  Kabul, Afghanistan, 2021

Hopefully, we won’t soon invade another country to compensate for the humiliating-for-warmongers “Afghan Syndrome” the way Bush, Sr. assaulted Iraq to make up for “Vietnam Syndrome.”

Let’s learn our lessons, class!

From Dildos to Duct Tape

We also continue to report on our unconstitutional Police Raid on F.D.R. studios last month. Over 20 years ago, when we were raided by the LAPD for equally bogus reasons, we created “The Dildo Dialogues,” based on our hilarious, precarious, but ultimately triumphant trial.

Now we’re onto the Duct Tape Dialogues. The more things change, the more they’re just oldies but goodies… or not-so-goodies. Hopefully, this fresh fight for our rights—and yours—will also climax in a victory for freedom.

As always, there are many factors at play, and we are doing the best we can, practicing the 11^th Step of the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo: Swinging through Life, i.e., trying to adapt, get from point A to B safely, while enjoying the trip.

DomCon 2021 Duct Tape Dialogues

It’s not about “living your best life.” In fact, I find that phrase—usually accompanied by a maniacally grinning selfie against an exotic, often colonized backdrop—pretty irritating. Who knows what your “best life” might be and who cares?

“Living your best life” is a social media construct, a virtual romance meme with bots as matchmakers, and unstable InfluencerInfluences as mentors, where perceived clout (or klout) is more important than truth (whose truth?), in service of making the ideal appear to be real—or at least, within your grasp… if you just click the link to buy those cool shoes.

And we all know where that leads.

Or do we?

Dive in deep with F.D.R…

© August 14, 2021 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.

DUCT TAPE DIALOGUES PHOTO ALBUM