BiG WiN in VEGAS: A New PhD & an Orgy in the RV, Great Erotic Art, Slot Machines That Cum
Vegas is packed with people who play it safe in life, then blow all their hard-earned cash into the mouths of machines that light up like a lover’s eyes, mid-climax. Then there’s the sound of Vegas: all that beeping and squealing, bizarrely resembling orgasm after mechanical orgasm. As long as you keep caressing those sensitive slots with money shots, it never stops.
Vegas-style gambling is a Weapon of Mass Seduction. Personally, I prefer to place my bets on my own relatively high-risk work and play: my amazing 20-year marriage that most folks said wouldn’t last, my unconventional sex therapy practice, my uncategorizable show and my belief in ethical hedonism and the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure. The odds of winning the kind of “games” I like to play are riskier than black jack, and the path to victory is a minefield littered with losers, lovers, foes and friends who trip your every step. But the joy is in the playing—in doing it, as the great gambler Sinatra sang, “My Way.” And every so often, if you play long, hard and “my way” enough, with a little help from Lady Luck, you might win.
Doctor of the Arts Honoris Causa
So, this past Friday, August 17, 2012, all the crazy gambles and risks I’ve taken paid off, “like a slot machine,” when I was awarded for my life’s work (so far) with an honorary doctorate—specifically a Doctor of the Arts Honoris Causa—by the esteemed Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS). Sorry to get a little redundant, but I have to say, wow, what an honor. IASHS is pretty much the Harvard or Yale of institutions devoted to the study of sex.
Appropriately enough, the formal presentation took place in Vegas, home of IASHS’ sister facility, Erotic Heritage Museum (EHM), whose wondrous exhibits and voluminous archives constitute the world’s largest collection of erotic art in all media. Plus, it’s the only erotic art museum that also functions as a giant vibrator when the Nevada State Train roars by on the tracks just behind the building.
The Revolutionary Dr. Ted
The presenter of my new IASHS doctorate was none other than the living, legendary Dr. Ted McIlvenna, IASHS founder and president, EHM chief curator, director of the Exodus Trust (which owns most of the art in EHM), ordained Reverend, married 57 years, and one of the greatest, most prolific sexual revolutionaries of modern times. Another inveterate gambler who prefers the risks of leading an innovative life over the tables, Dr. Ted graciously flew into Vegas from San Francisco (home of IASHS) just to present me with my parchment, so I decided to take this very special opportunity to also do an interview with him.
Like Yale and Harvard, IASHS was founded by a protestant minister. Born on the Ides of March (3/15/32) in the beginning of the Great Depression, the son of a missionary to the “Indians” (in the days when that wasn’t a politically incorrect way to describe Native Americans), Robert Theodore McIlvenna barreled through history, the church, the theater, the academic and art worlds and the great sexual revolution of the 1960s-70s, blazing trails for sexologists, swingers, sex workers, fetishists, gays, transgendered and erotic artists, and going on to found the world’s foremost higher sex education center and largest erotic art collection. As a young Methodist pastor, he was tasked by church elders with the mission to “find God in sex” and, even though he swears he’s no missionary, that’s just what he keeps finding, over and over again.
Dr. Ted has a unique perspective, colorful stories and strong, salty opinions, so our interview (coming soon to DrSuzy.tv!) was fascinating and could have gone on all night, except we also wanted to tour the museum (not to mention party in the RV).
Erotic Art Tour de Force
So off we went through the vast halls, alcoves and spiral staircases of this sprawling, 26,000 square-foot “collection of collections” of some of the world’s most important erotic art; sculpture, painting, mixed media, poster art and other memorabilia, photography and cinematography, functional (including sex toys and sex furniture) and purely aesthetic art, from ancient times to the present, including erotic works by famous artists like Henri Matisse, Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali.
I’ve visited a few erotic art museums in my Travels with Max: the Erotic Museum in Amsterdam, Musée de L’erotism in Paris, MoSex in New York and the old Hollywood Erotic Museum before it went under. But none compare to EHM. The sheer amount of art is overwhelming—far too much fun stuff to describe here. You can see some of it on the show, but if you have the least bit of interest in erotica or the history of human sexuality, you really should make your own personal pilgrimage to the source, the full name of which is Harry Mohney’s Erotic Heritage Museum.
Harry’s the guy that actually owns the building, plus tons (literally) of original adult film poster art that is featured in EHM, having made a pretty penny with his Déjà Vu chain of strip-clubs and porn sites. Unlike most artless club owners, Mr. Mohney has generously donated many of his pretty pennies to the cause of erotic art. Speaking of pennies, one popular EHM favorite is what I call the “Thousand Dollar Dick,” a giant penis sculpture made up of 100,000 pennies, which seems especially appropriate for Vegas and an owner whose name is “money” with a h in the middle.
I also love the numerous examples of the ancient “deflowering tool,” which sounds like something you might use in the garden to uproot begonias but is actually more of a virgin’s first dildo. Then there’s the voluptuous Aphrodite collection. The nostalgic movie posters. The hilarious flasher sculptures. A cover of Suck, the older sister publication to Max’s magazines Love, Hate, Finger and God. A replica of the Venus of Willendorf, reminding us that the first known art piece (dated at about 22,000 BCE) was also the first known erotica. And so much more.
Iraqi Erotica & Real Déjà Vu
I was impressed to see the new Iraq/Iran collection featuring rare pieces of Persian and Iraqi erotica that were thought to have been destroyed during the American invasion of Baghdad, brought over by the Fithian brothers, sons of renowned sexologist Marilyn Fithian who donated her sexuality library to EHM. I donated a couple copies of my book, The 10 Commandments of Pleasure, to the EHM library and book store.
Towards the end of the tour, we ventured into the enormous and musty museum archives for which Dr. Ted rewarded me with a signed lithograph by John Lennon featuring the great Beatle going down on his great love, the one and Ono Yoko. He also gave prints to my cameramen for braving the archives with me.
Prior to the presentation, we toured the art with EHM’s charming art director and curator, Dorian Gomez, a fine artist whose paintings are displayed in the museum. I was delighted to find vivacious naturist “Kiwi” working at EHM; this was real “déjà vu,” as the last time I’d seen her was when she and her husband Denie were guests on my show, back in 2002. Rounding out the warm and welcoming EHM crew were fellow hat fetishist Goddess Mercedes and Revolutionary Sex documentarian Robert James.
After the tour, we partied with some special guests, including Stripperella comic book artist Anthony Winn, Vodkatime comedian Daryl Wright, collector Robert Fithian, videographer/brothers Ajay Johnson and Steve Buckley and Vegas-born and bred porn star/stripper, Leya Falcon. We interviewed Leya in our big beautiful Bounder motorhome—which we transformed into a Womb Room on Wheels, complete with dildos, vulva puppets, stuffed bonobos and a Sybian.
Leya wouldn’t go near the Sybian, but elegant, raven-haired, Vegas “Snake Babe” rode it to a reptile-roaring orgasm, shaking up the RV and her happy hubby Steve.
Then it was time for the serious fun to begin, starting with Kiwi mooning the train as it roared past the museum, vibrating us all 1000 times more than the Sybian.
Or maybe it started with the Absinthe. Whatever it was, both curators, Dorian and Kiwi, entered the Bounder boudoir for a little behind-the-museum interview that somehow organically evolved into a full-on ORGY in the RV.
Now the Bounder was bouncing even more than when the train whizzed by. Not only did Kiwi take it from my strap-on, as she sucked Dorian’s BF Ska, burbling between slurps about how I’ve been her “inspiration” all these years, followed by an intense double vaginal penetration of Dorian by both Ska (underneath) and my lucky Kinky Eddie strap-on (covered by Condomania, of course) coming in from behind. Both lovely, knowledgeable and generous curators gave peer-reviewed, fine-art-blowjobs to THREE of my lucky cameramen: JuxLii, Jimmy Ritchie and our guest cinematographer, Johnny Dangerously. Happy Johnny provided the veritable visual climax of the evening—streaking his creamy confection of lust right across Kiwi’s cute chin. Now that’s what I call shooting while shooting! (If you would like to volunteer to be a Dr. Suzy camera man, please email at: firstname.lastname@example.org)
It’s also a perk of crewing for The Dr. Susan Block Show. And it just goes to show, when it comes to sudden sex in a motorhome, artists are hotter than porn stars…at least in Vegas, this past weekend.
Good on you for braving the voyage to Sin City in 107 degree heat, getting the RV stuck on stilts—right after the orgy!—and then discovering the only instruction manual was entirely in German.
Of course, I especially want to thank my beloved hubby and partner, the amazing Captain Max, to whom I dedicate this honorary doctorate, because I don’t believe I would have gotten it without him. And I might not have even gotten to the ceremony, because Capt’n Max (more like Cowboy Max for this trip) drove the big Bounder all the way to, from and around Vegas, relenting only to let Tori take the wheel for a few hours on the way back.
Big hoots of appreciation to all the bonobos who stayed in BonoboVille, keeping the light on at the Institute. You missed insane heat, dust, cowboy food and no sleep. Oh, and that orgy in the RV. And the joy of Bun Boys. Good times, as always. And much more to come (and cum)…
I also want to give a shout-out to just a handful of other people who weren’t there, but who inspired me, including fellow IASHS PhD, Dr. Betty Dodson, whose artwork hangs in EHM, Sheila Nevins of HBO, the late Dr. Wesley Needham of Yale University, Dr. John Klutke of USC who literally saved my life in 2006, my brother Steve who’s always been there for me—especially through those tough games that dealt me one “bad hand” after another—and my late great Mom and Dad who gave me the gifts of endless love and crazy, driven discipline, yet never stopped their girl from doing things “my way.”
Special thanks to El Monte RV for our fabulous Bounder motorhome (but please give us an instruction manual in English next time—our German’s a little rusty—Danke Schön!) and the Gold Coast Hotel and Casino for awesome torrential showers and delightfully soft but firm mattresses, great for sex and falling into an instant, blissful coma after losing your shirt or just taking it off.
As I write this, Max is framing the new doctorate which will go up on the wall next to the Yale and Pacific Western diplomas and under the LA Weekly cartoon of me engaged in a “catfight” with reactionary, anti-sex advisor, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, spanking her with a framed degree.
It’s always an adventure to go on the road, but it’s good to be back home in BonoboVille. Back to my old tricks, new games and the next great gamble.
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