by Dr. Susan Block.      

Happy Spring Equinox! All aboard the “Last Chance to Get Lucky” Love Train rolling through the forest live on St. Paddy’s Eve with plenty of green Guinness, shamrock kisses, big hard shillelaghs, pinched posteriors, Smiling Irish Eyes and a St. Patrick’s message from Ireland to Irish Joe Biden to stop arming Israel’s genocide against Palestine.

Erin go Bragh and Go Bragh-less!

It’s also our last train – or one of our last – on Callin, but no, I am not being banned on yet another platform. Callin is being shut down by its corporate overlord (Rumble), making us soon-to-be radio refugees. But have no fear; FdR will keep running, Bonoboville will keep humming, and we will keep spreading the Bonobo Way.

Watch St. Paddy’s Day 2018 with GasMaskGirl in Bonoboville

So, its “last call” on Callin at the Speakeasy Bar for the St. Paddy’s Day Eve Gift of Gab fest, and Capt’n Max and I have a lot to gab about, much of it with one of our favorite Callin callers, Maria, who regales us with tales, questions and a lovely song, and promises to follow us to our next platform, wherever it might be.

Prince of Pegging & Missing Princess

Last FdR, as well as on my 2024 State of the Sexual Union address – broadcast live on Hartley Pleshaw’s “Active Radio” on WCAP 980 AM and now available on most major platforms where I’m not banned (as well as some where I am) – we talked about the terrible traumatic proliferation of War Porn – which is, in this sexologist’s not-so-humble opinion, far more traumatizing to victims, perpetrators and viewers than regular porn.

On this show, the topic turns to Royals Porn, that is, the British Royals having sex, though it’s not exactly porn because, while you hear lots of rumors of their sexcapades, and even plenty of rumors about the rumors, you don’t actually see much of anything, except for paparazzi snaps of furtive glances, smiling eyes (Irish or otherwise) and stiff upper lips.

It’s really more of a Royal Soap Opera with titillating tattle-tales of aristocratic cheating, bisexual adventures, the Prince of Pegging‘s alleged penchant for kinky recreational sex with his wife’s ex-friend, possible procreational sex resulting in a Comedy of Errors and Heirs, bad photoshopping, very bad lying and a curiously missing princess who was once a paparazzi exhibitionist, but hasn’t been seen since Christmas, 2023. Maybe she really is recovering from a mysterious kind of “abdominal surgery” (perhaps a hysterectomy?), or maybe she’s on strike or having her own affair – who knows? All this is, of course, going on against the bloody backdrop of the sordid history of British colonialism and imperialism and lots of violent death, including the terrible car crash that killed Princess Diana.

So… Where is Kate?

That is the question that has turned many of us who normally don’t give a crown about this rather dysfunctional family into royal voyeurs. This could be juicier than Charles the Tampon King or Harry losing his virginity in a field behind a pub…

Tune in for a deep discussion – thanks to Maria’s probing questions and Prince Max’s posterior squeamishness – on pegging – what it is and why you (and various Royals and commoners) may or may not really like it.

Breaking News March 22: Finally, the real Princess Kate has been found and, unfortunately, she says she has cancer. We’re sorry if our jokes and speculations hurt anyone, and we are glad she is no longer “missing” – that situation having led to even wilder speculations and worse jokes than ours – but sad to hear she has cancer. Get well soon Kate!

Boeing Booboos

Usually, when we mention flying, it’s fun stuff, like joining the Mile High Club. Then again, we’ve also talked about how planes are some of modern civilization’s worst polluters.

We don’t often comment on plane engineering, but now it seems that great American jet manufacturer, Boeing, is making planes that seem designed to break. Turns out that after Boeing merged with McDonnell Douglas – and after our friend and DrSuzy.TV guest Eric John quit working as a Boeing engineer to become a porn star (a smart career move, it being way better to bang wenches than wrenches all day, plus you won’t be responsible for a packed passenger plane suddenly falling out of the sky) – the company attained the Market Dominance it always wanted. Then Boeing got lazy – playing out another tale of American greed and dysfunction, with the help of Trump’s deregulation of American transportation industries, hiring cheaper cost-cutting executives instead of better engineers.

This week’s news is that Boeing whistleblower John Barnett “committed suicide” in a parking lot, and if you believe that he punched his own ticket, then I’ve got a plane to sell you…

Persephone Rising for Spring Equinox

Spring or Vernal Equinox 2024 is also upon us. Catch Spring Fever and fall in love… or rise up like a blooming spring rose.

Long before the Easter Rebirth of the Holy Son returning to His Father in Heaven, people honored the Spring Equinox Resurrection of the Holy Daughter returning to Her Mother on Earth.

As Spring unfolds, the Greek Goddess Persephone (Proserpina to the Romans) is said to rise up from the bowels of Hades (Pluto) to rejoin Her Earth Mama Demeter (Ceres) who is so ecstatic to embrace the fruit of Her loins that She showers the world in Spring (now that’s some serious squirting).

Watch Persephone Has Risen

Telling the timeless story for the umpteenth time on this show, I’m happy to hear Maria’s spin on Spring and “Persephone,” the name she happened to have chosen, once upon a time, for her cat.

All religions have some way to honor and explain the coming of Spring. This year, Ramadan coincides with Spring Equinox, and some Muslims celebrate the Persian New Year or Noruz.

Check out our many fantastic, orgiastic Spring Equinox Bacchanalia with our own erotic Eleusinian Mysteries on DrSuzy.Tv.

Anti-Zionist Purim for Palestine

Read “Anti-Zionist Purim for Palestine” on Counterpunch

It’s coming up on Purim, the Semitic St. Paddy’s, Yiddishe Mardi Gras or Hebraic Halloween of masquerade, storytelling (Purim shpiels), games, pranks, music, wine and a special Spring holiday dessert called “hamantaschen.” These triangular, fruit jelly-stuffed pastries are said to represent the pirate-style hat of the Purim story’s villain, that quintessential antisemite Haman the Agagite, Biblical cousins of Bibi Netanyahu’s favorite scriptural boogeymen, the Amalekites.

I love hats, but I’ve long felt that hamantaschen more closely resemble the female genitalia, as they are shaped like an open vulva with a fruit-filled vaginal hole in the middle. Perhaps that’s my sexologist’s dirty mind hard at work – or play – since both triangular treats are good to eat. In any case, because Purim is the only Hebrew holiday story starring a woman, Queen Esther, and hardly anybody but Ashkenazi Jews and Germans can pronounce hamantaschen, I call them “pussy cookies.”

Watch Purim Rising 2013

The Biblical Queen Esther is a humble teenage beauty contest winner who uses her “Weapons of Mass Seduction” – her sex appeal, charm, diplomacy, teasing, humility, wit and wiles – to seduce the Persian King Ahasuerus (said to be a Biblical stand-in for Xerxes), saving her “people” (the Jewish people of the 5^th century BCE Persian Empire) from the King’s chief minister Haman’s diabolical plan for genocide.

In a time when power was almost always gained through brute force and cold gold – a time much like our own – this was, and still is, a kind of human miracle, a bonoboësque triumph that I honor with joy almost every Spring.

I’ve grown up with Purim, since I was a little girl who didn’t know bonobos from bananas, but I knew I enjoyed pretending to be the strong but sweet Queen Esther in Hebrew School Purim shpiels. Over the years, my Purim parties grew, deepened and blossomed into Commedia Erotica Purim Bacchanals (Warning: Click the following links at your own risk. These are NOT your Bubbe’s Purim Shpiels!) like my Erotic Purim Masquerade (2006), Porn ‘n’ Purim (2008), Vaginal Pastry Purim (2009) Purim Bacchanalia (2011), Purim Rising (2013), St. Paddy’s Purim (2015), Porny Purim, (2017), FemDom Purim (2019), Pussy Cookie Rush (2022), Pussy Cookie March Madness (2023), and the Purim parades march on, drink up and twirl around year after year.

But this year is different. Instead of being saved from genocide, Israel is committing genocide.

Indeed, Israel is doing just what the villain Haman plots to do in the Purim story. Moreover, Israel’s bombing, starvation and demolition of Gaza is even worse than Haman’s most sadistic fantasies. Besides, Haman’s annihilation of the Jews was only in the plotting stages, while the Zionist annihilation of Palestine is actually happening, a heart-breaking holocaust unfolding in real time, right now before our traumatized eyes.

So, I can’t celebrate Purim with joy in 2024, or maybe ever again.

Certainly not while some of my fellow Jews – not just Haman Netanyahu, but the whole horrid Zionist branch of my Semitic *family* – are committing such atrocities.

However, a Queen can dream, and I do have a Purim fantasy for 2024. This Purim, I imagine a “Queen Esther for Palestine” arising to stop the current King Ahasuerus from supporting his Haman.

You might need to learn (or refresh your knowledge of) the basic Purim Story to appreciate this bizarre Midrash (Biblical interpretation) of mine in which King Ahasuerus’ role is played by none other than “Genocide Joe” Biden.

It fits because doddering Biden supports Netanyahu’s murderous regime by sending bombs and bullets to Israel, just as drunken King Ahasuerus supports Haman’s plot to slaughter the Jews of the Persian Empire in the Purim story.

The Queen Esther for Palestine I envision could be anyone; perhaps a Palestinian – if she could slip past the Secret Service – or a Palestine ally, an advisor, a special friend, a beloved son, a granddaughter, a cute ice cream server with nice-smelling hair, or even Joe’s beloved Dr. Jill Biden – whoever has the ear of the *King.*

Sure, the U.S. President isn’t as powerful as a Biblical King, but he can stop the flow of genocidal armaments to Israel. Yes, it’s a longshot that an ardent AIPAC-funded “Zionist” like Joe Biden will do that, but then again, Haman was King Ahasuerus’ favorite minister before Esther changed his mind, and hey, Canada just did it(!)… meaning it’s worth a try,

So, Dr. Jill, how about playing Queen Esther this Easter and whispering seductively into King Joe’s ear, “C’mon Joey, just stop sending weapons to Bibi, and I’ll lick your ice cream cone clean tonight.”

If Dr. Jill as Queen Esther actually gets King Joe to stop arming my genocidal lonsmen – who shame the entire *tribe* with their beyond-Biblical atrocities, absurd explanations and obnoxious celebrations – she may just work the miracle of turning Genocide Joe into Bonobo Joe.

Nothing can bring back the thousands of precious lives lost, but stopping the flow of armaments (now) could win Joe this next election, sparing us a Trumpocalypse, in addition to saving the Palestinian people – Esther-style – from the current Zionist rampage.

On a poignant note, the Mayor of Jericho, Palestine, Abdul Karim Sidr, has named a street in Jericho “Aaron Bushnell Street,” after the brave U.S. Airman who burned himself alive outside the Israeli Embassy to protest the genocide. Transforming himself from cannon fodder to canonized fighter, Aaron Bushnell became “The Burning Soldier” for Palestine. 

May Airman Bushnell’s great sacrifice not be in vain, may we experience another bonoboësque human miracle, like Queen Esther’s on Purim, and may Palestine be free.

Read “Anti-Zionist Purim for Palestine” on Counterpunch

META Arbitration June 26^th

A couple of personal special dates are also coming up, including the big showdown, Dr. Suzy vs. Zuck the Cuck, aka META, on June 26^th. Save the date because we will have a demonstration – with breakfast – in the morning before we arbitrate. Not sure exactly where or what time, so stay tuned.

Everyone says we can’t win, but we are taking META to arbitration to make a point, for the sake of freedom of speech, for the sake of fairness on the internet, for the sake of our mental health after META’s dehumanization, for the sake of sex-positivity, sex education and freedom to masturbate in the privacy of our own homes.

Besides, you never know. I sued the LAPD and won a nice settlement, so maybe there’s a light at the end of the META tunnel too.

32^nd Wedding Anniversary!

On April 12^th, Max and I will celebrate our 32^nd Wedding Anniversary!

Wow, we can hardly believe how long it’s been, and it feels like it’s gone by in a nanosecond.

Watch Our 26th Wedding Anniversary

What’s the key to our longevity? We could give you all kinds of tips and hints – and we do all the time on FdR – but according to Maria, it’s simple: “You two have the best chemistry in the history of all creation.”

Whatever the “secret,” we’re still together after 32 years, and we will have a special show about it (here’s last year’s) on Saturday, April 13^th.  We’re not sure what platform we’ll be on, but stay tuned for developing 32^nd wedding anniversary news… Also, subscribe to my Substack – while it’s still free.

And follow the Bonobo Way every good and bad day!

© March 16,  2024 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.