by Dr. Susan Block.      

It’s our virgin ride on Rumble – our first time – and there’s a first time for everything, but there’s only one first time for anything; you never get to have a second *first time.*

Such is the mystery of virginity on the air and everywhere.

Why do radio veterans like Capt’n Max and me, along with Engineer Abraham, suddenly find ourselves virgins on new platforms? Unfortunately, Callin – our home broadcast platform for the past couple of years – just shut down, leaving us radio refugees and newbies to Rumble.

We’re also on Spaces, but we’re certainly not virgins to X/Twitter, so it’s more of an FDR “Resurrection,” and that’s what we call the show.

Cage-Free Eggs & People

Indeed, tis the season of resurrection, and it’s Easter Eve as we broadcast live from the Love Train’s bar car, rolling down the tracks of 2024, living the Cage-Free Life, the Bonobo Way.

Maybe you’ve painted cage-free Easter eggs… but do you lead a cage-free life?

We try to live cage-free – or relatively free of corporate shackles – here in Bonoboville.

We’re into Free Speech and a Free Press. We want to Free Assange. Free Palestine. Free yourself. Be Cage-Free. Be Bonobo.

Now’s the time to revamp, renew and resurrect our long-hibernating joie de vivre. It’s Spring!

Jesus Loved the Sex Workers

Resurrection is one of the springiest themes of Spring, a theologically serious but subtly salacious subject – and not just because it phonetically contains the word “erection” – but due to Jesus rising up from the depths of Thanatos (death) to heavenly Eros (life, lust and love), thanks to the miracle of Easter Sunday Resurrection.

And then, when Jesus is “born again,” whom does He first see? His favorite Easter Bunny: Mary Magdalene.  

Yes indeed, Jesus loves the sex workers.

So, it’s fitting that the first caller on our virgin show is veteran sex worker, porn star and Dr. Susan Block Institute sex therapist, Hamilton Steele aka Le-Beverley.

Hamilton continues to regale us with tales of the gigolo life, serving the tech lords, nerds, cuckolds and incels of Silicon Valley. “I’ve never seen guys so fucked up, they couldn’t get laid with a hooker.”

I wonder how much of these tech lords’ deep-seated sexual frustration is at the root of their raging censorship, specifically META Zuck-the-Cuck’s deactivation of my Facebook and IG accounts?

It’s wrong, and we are fighting back. Yes, it’s a longshot, but I’m in the right, META is oh-so wrong, and you never know, so keep up with the Power Point updates, and join us for arbitration on June 26: Time and place TBA!

Resurrection Connection

Regarding the Resurrection, Hamilton is quite familiar with erections, and he believes Jesus was a “historical figure,” though he wonders, “How did Easter bunnies and chocolate eggs come out of a Jewish guy being crucified?”

Good question! And the answer, in part, is paganism. Sounds blasphemous, but here in Bonoboville, we sometimes roleplay the res-erection with our Divine Interventions “Jesus Jackhammer” dildo rising up out of Dorrie Lane’s Wondrous Vulva Puppet or perhaps a real woman’s yoni or mouth, as we sing, “Hallelujah! Jesus is in her now!”

Watch “Easter Eve Res-Erection” with The DTease on DrSuzy-Tv!

The myth of resurrection stems from the Earth being “reborn” in spring… with the promise that we too can be reborn.  Jesus dies on Good Friday, then springs back to life on Easter Sunday.  Resurrection gives us hope of life after death, and it is one of the cornerstones of Christianity.

However, Jesus wasn’t the first human/God to be born again in Spring.

On our Spring Equinox show, we compare the Resurrection of Jesus to the Resurrection of Persephone, the Greek Holy Daughter returning to her Mother, the Earth, instead of the Holy Son returning to his Father in the Sky.

On this Easter Eve Resurrection show, we compare Jesus to another Greek deity, Dionysus aka Bacchus, another God of the People who is killed and brought back to life – the Resurrection of Dionysus – by his Heavenly Father Zeus, aka Jupiter, aka God.

Jesus & Dionysus

Centuries before Jesus Christ is said to have lived, died and lived again, the ancient Spring Dionysia and Primavera Bacchanalia honored the resurrection of the Greek God Dionysus (Bacchus to the Romans), a “Christlike,” charismatic and bonoboësque God of Spring, one of whose consorts is Pan, the horned, horny goat God of the Wild who lends his name to Pan paniscus, the scientific classification for bonobos.

The Spring Dionysia featuring the great tragedies of Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides and the comedies of Aristophanes, and the Bacchanalia of ancient Rome included ecstatic rituals and bonoboësque orgies celebrating this extremely popular, complex deity who, in a number of intriguing ways, foreshadowed the coming – and second coming – of Jesus Christ.

Jesus and Dionysus

How could a God of Orgies have anything to do with sweet Jesus?  I’m so glad you asked! Let me count the ways…

Both Jesus and Dionysus are especially adorable as babies (as are bonobos).
Both Gods never lose their youthful, androgynous good looks, also like bonobos.
Both Gods have human “virgin” mothers and divine heavenly Fathers.
Both Jesus and Dionysus are liberators and revolutionaries, overturning the status quo—politically in the community and emotionally (spiritually) within the individual.
Both Gods treat women as equals, as bonobos do, and have passionate, prominent female followers.
Both Gods treat slaves as equals.
Both Gods miraculously heal the sick.
Both Gods are intimately connected with wine; Dionysus is the God of Wine, and Jesus turns water into wine.
Both Gods have, in a sense, their “flesh and blood” eaten and drunk by others.
Both Jesus and Dionysus are charismatic “rock stars” with long hair, an entourage and adoring groupies – and both are opposed by uncool, older conservative types
Both Gods preach that the Kingdom of Heaven is within you.
Both Gods are Masters of Seduction, saying that “Heavenly ecstasy is yours if only you follow Me.”
Both Jesus and Dionysus die terrible bloody deaths, suffering tremendously and at great length, for the sake of humanity.
Both Gods are resurrected in Spring.

Hustler Orgasms

Speaking of the second coming – as well as the first and third – I’m giving advice on the all-important topic of orgasms in this month’s Hustler.

Check out my tips on coming, second comings, G-spot hunting and how to resurrect your flagging erection in “Building a Better Orgasm” by Marcy Diamond.

From resurrection to insurrection, and just in time for Holy Week, America’s Top Huckster is hawking The Trump Bible

And check out Marcy riding the Motorbunny to a rollicking holiday orgasm in “Halloween 2015 Kink Month Climax in BooNoBooVille” on DrSuzy.Tv.

Trump Bibles vs. The Bonobo Bible

From resurrection to insurrection, and just in time for Holy Week, America’s Top Huckster is hawking The Trump Bible – the “God Bless the USA” Bible, here to “Make America Pray Again” at the bargain price of just $59.95 (got to cover those legal bills!) – reaching new heights of hucksterism, having violated almost all the 10 commandments and much more.

It couldn’t be any worse than Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, Trump University… or the Trump White House – hopefully, that won’t be resurrected.

On this auspicious first Rumble show and Spaces resurrection, our oldest listener (he’s been listening to the show since I was on KFOX 93.5 FM!), Don P, aka PolyBi, calls in to express his fervent hope that Trump will lose Manhattan District Attorney’s Alvin Bragg’s 34-count felony “hush money” case against him just before the 2024 election. If found guilty, the history books will record that kink saved the country and Trumpty Dumpty was brought down by a porn star, the one and only Stormy Daniels.

Coming soon: The Bonobo Bible! Includes The 10 Commandments of Pleasure, The Bonobo Way and more!

Also coming soon: My interview with Telltale Industries about the mysterious Jonathan Taylor Spielberg (no relation to Steven, except spiritually). Check out some interview pics in the Gallery and stay tuned for this quintessential Hollywood story.

Coming even sooner: Our 32^nd Wedding Anniversary!  

Head Over Heels in My “Love Me – Kiss Me – Marry Me” Thigh Highs as Pr. Max Passes Out in Pleasure after Gifting Me 3 Pearl Necklaces for Our 30th Wedding Anniversary. Photo: Selfie.

Don’t miss anything! Subscribe to my new Substack – while it’s still free.

Hook a Big Fish and check out more of our erotic art collection – on sale now!

Free Palestine! Ceasefire Now and Permanently! Stop arming Israel!

Give The Bonobo Way – with over 50 5-star Amazon reviews – to someone you love, even if that someone is you… Make Kink Not War – Be Bonobo: Save the Humans – and get the T-shirts!

Stand for peace, love and kink as the wars rage on for the benefit of no one but the arms dealers.

Telltale Interview Shoot Photo Gallery

© March 31,  2024 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.