by Dr. Susan Block.

And so, it has come to pass that the Anointed One is the Indicted One. Trumpty Dumpty has fallen (again), and maybe this time, all his cult’s Handmaids and MAGAt Men can’t put this Mango McMuffin back together again.

It’s not an April Fool’s prank. And no, it’s not a Witch Hunt. It’s a “Pussy Ass Bitch” Hunt (with a hat tip to fabulous “Filthy Mouthed Wife” Chrissy Teigen). Breaking News: He’s charged with 34 FELONIES.

Spanking Trump Baby with the Bonobo Way… and Indictments!

So, we clink Coronas and Manischewitz (Pesach Sameach—it’s almost Passover!) on this FDR—cautiously—hoping we won’t get April Fool’ed… again. After all, Mango McMuff’s polls shot up like that indictment was a hit of Viagra, and he can always run for President from jail like one of my socialist heroes, Eugene Debs, did in 1920.

Well, as the Trump Train, aka the Chump Train, keeps on rolling down the tracks to fascism, our Love Train keeps rolling from the Capitalocene to the Bonobocene, along The Bonobo Way.

“The Goal is the Journey,” as always, but as staunch Stormy Daniels supporters since 2017, we’re still hoping for our Happy Ending. Sure, breaking campaign finance laws isn’t Trumpty’s worst crime by any means (see election tampering, insurrection–fomenting, Yemen-bombing, safety regulation-slashing, stuffing the Supreme Court with illegit misogynistic Christofascists, huge tax cuts for rich bitches and rapacious corporations, and the list goes on), a crime’s a crime.

It’s not unprecedented—or unpresidented—to arrest a former U.S. President. Ulysses S. Grant was arrested for speeding 121 years ago in his horse-drawn carriage. He was probably drunk too. He was often drunk, which is one reason that he was a great general. War is so horrific, you’ve got to be drunk or psychopathic to wage it.

Shoutout to Cyrus Vance Jr., esteemed member of my Yale class, who started up the Stormy case that Alvin Bragg is now running.

And what about Karen McDougal?

Dis-“Pleasure” Film

We’ve been meaning to see the movie Pleasure since it was released last year, mainly because we know some of the cast—Axel Braun, Dana DeArmond, Tee Reel, Mark Spiegler, to name a few—and finally we did. What a waste of 90 minutes! Worse than a waste, we feel traumatized by this obscenely violent, vicious, slapping, punching, choking, spitting, vomit-inducing, warped, anti-porn, mainstream, big-screen view of the porn industry.

Pleasure is the opposite of pleasure. Film auteur Ninja Thyberg’s cinematic atrocity has very little to do with the porn biz that I have known or the porn stars I have played with for some 30 years—or the porn I have seen, including the wild taboo stuff that my sex therapy clients request that I watch with them. Sponsored in part by the Swedish Film Institute and the Netherlands Film Fund, I guess the film reveals that Red-Light-loving Holland and the swinging Sweden of the Sexual Revolution are not what they used to be. Anti-porn feminists joined forces with Christofascists, and Pleasure (the movie, not the feeling!) is their monstrous Love Child. Or, I should say, Hate Child.

No spoiler alert here, because—without a single sex-positive scene—this film is too rotten to spoil.

It’s a good thing Capt’n Max and I had a little hot orgasmic sex before watching this cinematic anti-aphrodisiac, because Pleasure is not a good date night movie. It even ruined our after-glow.  We watched the whole damn thing, in case there was anything good about it, and no, there wasn’t, except the mildly funny moment when Chris Cock tells Sofia Kappel that interracial porn is somehow high-risk (on the same level as extreme violence), and she says that’s “racist.”  Everything else pretty much sucks, and not in the good way. Well, now you know! We endured Pleasure to spare you the pain.

In Censorship News…

Instagram deplatformed the account of Suzanne Hillinger, director of Moneyshot the Porn Hub Story, claiming it was sex work solicitation (of course, it wasn’t). Meanwhile, my primary Youtube channel is still terminated (though the Block Curse forced YouTube CEO & Censor-in-Chief Susan Wojcicki to resign), and Twitter is shadow-banning “sensitive” words of all kinds.

This is why we—like a lot of other unjustly censored artists, commentators and educators—are putting more of our own content on our own platform(s). For starters, check out our new vintage Sex Calls library. Then go to Clip-O-Rama where we Free the Nipple and much more.

In Other News…

• Our Vice special featuring our Bonoboville Reunion is coming to a device near you at the end of May (so they say)! Meanwhile, if you haven’t seen it yet, we’re on Sex Before the Internet, also on Vice.
• Also coming in May (we think): an exciting screening of the 1973 porn phenomenon “Deep Throat,” is coming to LA, which will be hosted by the late director Gerard Damiano’s son Gerard, Jr. and daughter Christar. Got a movie theater or screening venue? Want to sponsor the event? Call Max at 626-461-5950. Check out my story of The Deep Throat Sex Scandal (play).
• China redefined the world last week, making peace between Saudi Arabia and Iran! Why isn’t the MSM talking more about this historic peace accord? You know why…
• We missed the 20^th anniversary of the Iraq War last week. Well, just the opening 3/19/2003 bombs, because this damn Perma War is still not over. Max and I were protesting American’s unconscionable War in and on Iraq before it even started, and you can read about some of our adventures and opinions in my award-winning Terror Journals.
• Free Assange! We have supported him since 2010, and we support joining hands—Left and Right—to free this innocent journalist who revealed so much about the Iraq War and more.
• Make Kink Not War and Squirt for Peace! Get the T-shirts, and stand for peace, kink and squirting as the wars rage for the benefit of no one but the arms dealers.

The Obituary Lounge

Though most cars on the Love Train are festive, the Obituary Lounge is always kind of sad. On this show, we say good-bye to three friends:

Max Hardcore made movies that were pretty gross (but not half as gross as Pleasure), and he went to prison for them, but he was a sweet man (to us) and a great guest on the show. He died of sepsis (which almost killed me in 2006), doing it “his way” until the end.

Max Hardcore and Me with The Bill of Rights, Bonnie Rotten, Layla Rivera & Max Lobkowicz. This photo & above by JuxLii

Goddess Phoenix Steele and I met at the DomCon 2019 Mistress Tea, and we bonded over our grief for our mutual friend and Bonobo Way lover, Goddess Sadie Hawkins, brutally murdered by one of her disturbed clients just a few months before. Now, Goddess Phoenix is gone in a freak car accident. I still can’t quite believe we lost this lovely, caring, womanly woman.

With Goddess Phoenix Steele at the DomCon Mistress Tea.

Papi, aka David Harold Hunt, attended many Dr. Susan Block Shows as a Speakeasy member since 2010. The “Hot Sauce King” loved the hot and saucy women he met, ogled, appreciated, danced with, laughed with, spanked, photographed and enjoyed in Bonoboville. A dirty old man, to be sure, but always respectful, and what a joyous erotic spirit! After a fairly long struggle with cancer, Papi left this world… but never our hearts.

Pesach Sameach! Ramadan Mubarak! Happy (early) Easter!

The Spring holidays are upon us, and perhaps because I am Jewish by birth or culture or race or however you define it, I talk mostly about Passover (Pesach) and sing “Next Year in Jerusalem” in Hebrew, as I sang every year of my youth, never wanting to actually live in Jerusalem; I preferred California.

And then there’s the Matzah (also spelled “matzo”), the practically tasteless holy cracker that has the divine ability, when broken, to create infinite crumbs all over your table, your clothes and probably your bed.  Similar to the wafer in the Catholic Church, Matzah is the Body of Christ without the Christ.  That whole Biblical Matzah origin story about 600,000 Jewish slaves leaving their Egyptian taskmasters in a hurry, packing their bread dough before it had time to rise, is pure fantasy. As I’m explaining all this on the show, I suddenly realize there could be another more realistic explanation for Matzah, the “unleavened” bread: though ancient Jews were never forced to leave Egypt en masse, Medieval Jews were often forced to leave Eurasian cities due to pogroms and other antisemitic massacres that may well have required grabbing that dough before it could rise as the Cossacks stampede your door.

Now the “Cossacks” are the Zionist settlers, and the “Jews” are the native Palestinians. Once again, I stress that Judaism is not Zionism, which is really fascism, Israeli-style, as is becoming more apparent to the Israelis themselves who are taking their protests of Netanyahu’s “judicial reform” to Biblical proportions.    

Joining me almost randomly, but mainly to discuss the “Jewish question,” Pesach, matzah, Israel and Palestine, is fellow Semite and proud former member of Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life synagogue, Kdot Hussein. Almost religiously opposed to my breast-therapeutic avatar (he prefers Max and Unscene Abe) and outraged by my belief that happy bonoboësque cuckolds make for a more peaceful world,  Kdot does agree with me that Israel’s oppression of Palestinians has got to stop.

Hop aboard FDR for more sex, politics and bonobos! Have some matzah, and remember it’s a mitzvah (good deed) to have sex on Passover and other festive Abrahamic holidays. Most Rabbis say the mitzvah is only for “husband and wife,” but I, Rabbi Dr. Susan bin Block, say it’s okay as long as it’s between enthusiastically consenting adults (and that includes self-pleasure)—but don’t mix the sex mitzvah with the matzah, or you’ll wind up with crumbs in your holiest of holes.

© April 1,  2023 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.