by Dr. Susan Block.

Censored by Youtube (for the SUZY awards!) and harassed by Arcadia’s Kangaroo Courtiers, our little Love Train winds its way into the future through a hailstorm of Neopuritanical suppression, fear, loathing, choking bugs and bullets…

Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, though they are a less than three per cent minority, even in America, agitated ammosexual incels are on the attack—at home and abroad!

But there’s always something to enjoy on F.D.R. We’re still celebrating Chinese New Year, aka Lunar Nude Rear (Mooning the Moon Over the Moon), and it’s Black History Month (hail the great Grace Jones!). It’s also Valentine Season, so we get set for the big V-Day, Lupercalia (the original pagan Valentine’s Day) and World Bonobo Day honoring the Make-Love-Not-War Chimpanzees, aka the Horniest Apes on Earth, who show us The Way to Peace through Pleasure.

#GoBonobos for The High Holidays of Love!

Highlights of our sapiosexual ride include….

• Calling in from San Diego is lovely, luminous, snake-handling Kat Peggy, a beautiful blast from Speakeasies Past (going back to about 2005), star of several Tv shows and orgies. Apparently, Max and I are Kat’s “favorite couple,” and our conversation almost melts down the studio, short-circuiting Arcadia’s electrical grid, as we recall kissing, pegging and generally woman-handling each other, and Max recalls “some touching.” Even after the call, when she messages us with “I’m lying in bed… listening to your voices,” we’re wet and hard as Happy Valentines…

Show Length 01:20:22  Date: February 5, 2022

• Maybe because it’s Black History Month, it’s especially infuriating to see ABC-TV professionally spank Black icon Whoopi Goldberg (whom I had the pleasure of meeting through the late great Scott Kelman back in the day) for saying that the “Holocaust was not about race.” She’s actually kind of right; there’s no such scientific thing as different human “races,” and even if there were, Judaism is a religion, not a “race.” She’s also kind of wrong; Hitler said the Aryan “race” was superior to all, and he was “Mr. Holocaust.” In other words, it’s kind of complicated. It’s also intriguing enough for Donald (no, not that Donald) to call in from our Instagram feed. This Donald is a big supporter of the Bonobo Way, and says he thinks it could have stopped the Holocaust. That sounds pretty grandiose, but actually, he’s right! Read more below or listen to the show.
• Neil Young’s Rockin’ Geezer Revolt against Joe Rogaine’s bad hair products and Covid malarkey exploded into a new viral video featuring Mr. Rogaine using the “N-word” about 47 times. This one is not complicated; Joe is racist. Happy Black History Month, Joe! I cut him some slack because he featured Abby Martin, Bernie Sanders and Cornel West, but Capt’n Max is unforgiving, and so are a lot of former Spotify subscribers. Unlike Youtube deleting our Awards show with no recourse, musicians removing their own music and people unsubscribing to your platform or show is NOT censorship.
• The Holy Trinity of the High Holidays of Love—Valentine’s Day, Lupercalia and World Bonobo Day—are underway. In the spirit of the Februa of February, this week’s throwback is the fantastic, orgiastic Lupercalia 2019, our last orgy in Inglewood, just before we moved to Arcadia…
  

  Watch this Week’s Throwback: LUPERCALIA 2018

• Gearing up for my second interview with Active Radio host Hartley Pleshaw on WCAP in Boston this coming Saturday, I practice giving part of my State of the Sexual Union address. It’s inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King’s great “I have a Dream” speech, except in my case, I have a Fantasy…
• The Arcadia Kangaroo Court continues to harass and deny us our rights. Thank you, “Most Bonobo-Sexy Couple” SUZY award winners Daniele Watts and Rawkstar Chef Be*Live, for sending us the great Lana del Rey song, Arcadia, which elegantly reflects our experience here.
• Many wonderful people we know are being censored for a pot pourri of dumb reasons, so we don’t take it personally that Youtube censored the SUZY awards without cause. I feel we’ve been sucker-punched, but this is the way the METAverse rolls, controlled by a few nervous billionaires and a few billion dumb bots.
• It’s disturbing but not surprising that the late Hugh Hefner, aka Hef, aka Mr. Playboy, is being demonized as some sort of bloodless Charles Manson in a new documentary series because… why not? There’s money to be made in denigrating sex-positivity and generating erotophobia these days. At least, some former Pets are defending poor dead Hef and the Playboy Mansion experience (which was, if anything, a little boring; not nearly as exciting as the Womb Room), as do we on this show.
• We discuss our hopes and fears for Julian Assange, the world’s most famous victim of censorship right now. FREE ASSANGE!
• Vice is coming to Bonoboville to make a documentary. They say we’re “icons,” and they seem very nice, but who knows how it will turn out? If you want to be in it, if you’ve been to Bonoboville, done phone sex therapy with us or read The Bonobo Way, call us at 213.291.9497 and ask for Max.

Enjoy the show, listen above or below, and get set to celebrate sex, love, lust and life in the midst of all the death, greed, hate and madness.

Or forget “getting set,” and just start celebrating now!

Can’t Listen to the Show Now? Read the Transcript to “Valentine Fantasy & NeoPuritan Nightmare” (or follow along as you listen)

Show Length 01:20:22  Date: February 5, 2022

Max

Oh, it must be radio time and hello everybody. Hi, my name is Max I’m here in studio with Dr. Suzy. She’s on the other side. Hi Dr. Suzy.

Dr. Suzy

I’m Naked.

Max

You make it take you a long time to get dressed that you would make it all week.

Dr. Suzy

I like to be naked. Oh, I’m a bit of a nudist.

Max

Ha ha ha.

Dr. Suzy

But I can’t show myself like this anywhere. And that’s one of our subjects tonight.

Max

Tonight, yes, one of our subjects is censorship, especially censorship of sex.

Dr. Suzy

And politics.

Max

And politics and politics.

Dr. Suzy

But sex, yes.

Max

And yeah, not by the United States government or the little employees that work there. There were limits we’re very grateful for. But by corporations. So this week, let’s see what do we get kicked off of this week? We got kicked off of YouTube because we broke their community standard.

Dr. Suzy

But we don’t know exactly how or where. I mean, we know the show, which was our Awards show, which has been up for a month and was carefully scrubbed of nudity.

Max

Right, oh Right?

Dr. Suzy

Yes, but the thing is, it’s not just nudity. It’s also what they call sexual content, and there’s also what they call implied sexual conduct. So you know, I don’t know if they thought I was giving you a blowjob when I dipped down under the console. I just don’t know what it could have been that they felt was implied sexual conduct or what they would call.

Max

Suggestive, suggestive, yes, that’s an important one.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, suggestive.

Max

Yes, yes, and you know, I always find it funny when we get we, we get kicked off of something and they talk about community standards.

Dr. Suzy

Ah yes.

Max

So Community standards for YouTube is violence and death and killing and more violence.

Dr. Suzy

It’s like one snuff film after another.

Max

I watched something the other day with that 20 people were killed in just a few minutes, OK? But sex is not part of community standards. So basically if you are a sex criminal, a sex offender, you have no outlet, so you go and commit more rape and more crime. You know, in, in, in in Sweden, certain crimes dropped drastically when they changed the law. Perverts they’re my favorite, but anyway, so that people that had weird things in their heads were tired of masturbating. They couldn’t go out and do anything, they would just masturbate at home you know?

Dr. Suzy

Well, it’s true that if you keep air in a bag, eventually the bag will pop

Max

That’s correct.

Dr. Suzy

So you’ve got to let that air out of the bag, and we humans, especially now in the Coronapocalypse, we got a lot of air in our bags and we’re popping every which way in supermarkets and schools at home, at the Office, on the Street, road rage, and so much ammosexual rage. And there’s a lot of reasons for that, but one reason is this intense and mounting—pun intended—censorship of sexuality and eroticism, at the same time it is enhanced and titillatingly utilized to sell cars and candy bars.

Max

So you can sell everything with sex. You can exploit sex to sell cars, gasoline, bombs, machine gun. You cannot talk about sex for sex’s sake.

Dr. Suzy

Unless you’re very buttoned up in a suit.

Max

Yeah, yeah or uh.

Dr. Suzy

But not a sexy suit! And even then, it’s probably not okay.

Max

A white coat maybe yeah.

Dr. Suzy

But anyway, we have a hello from Jux Lii.

Max

Hi Jux.. I think he broke community standards so.

Dr. Suzy

I’m sure he did many times, he prides himself on that, and he did win a Suzy Award and the Suzy Awards have been censored on YouTube.

Max

Million times. Right, right? Yes he did.

Dr. Suzy

It’s funny the SUZY awards are still on Facebook, which is where Jux is right now. So in a way Facebook that was super censorious of us for years is now more liberal than YouTube. Go figure. YouTube is the most neopuritanical of all the platforms now and the most violent.  I have no love for Marky Z, but I think that he’s trying to make a pretend effort to do something about the violence. But YouTube, forget about it. It’s just one violent thing after another on youtube they won’t allow sexual orgies, but they have orgies of violence.

Max

Yeah, orgies of violence and killing and bloodletting. What are you guys doing, you guys that work there?

Dr. Suzy

They’re appealing to the ammosexual incel mentality of America that is mounting.

Max

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Suzy

It’s frightening, and the censorship of sex is part of it.  And it hurts. It hurts you. It hurts me. I feel sucker punched by YouTube. And I feel that this is the Metaverse now, controlled by a few billionaires and a billion bots that are really dumb bot drones.

Max

Right?

Dr. Suzy

And basically they penalize you for being different. I even have sympathy for the right wingers who are being censored as I have sympathy, of course, for my fellow lefties that are being censored for politics. People are being censored for all kinds of things.

Max

And what about, what about, uh? I mean, let’s go back to the 50s for a second. We’re banning books, yeah? Book banning.

Dr. Suzy

That is going on, but those banned books are actually selling quite well on Amazon.

Max

Book banning.

Dr. Suzy

You know, there’s a certain level of censorship that actually boosts your sales like I’m sure Neil Young is experiencing a boost in sales now that he’s been removed from Spotify, but when you’re a small town, mom and pop shop like Dr. Susan Block and Prince Maximilian Lobkowicz di Filangieri of F.D.R., and that stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt as well as Fuck Da Rich, so as you can imagine, we ain’t rich. We’re a small mom and pop shop of a podcast, and we get kicked, we get sucker punched by Youtube, and it doesn’t make our sales go up. It just makes us less accessible to you.

Max

And, you know, in this country we try to hide so much, but so much, and one of the things we try to hide is Black History Month and the tragedy of slavery.

Dr. Suzy

Yes, speaking of which, Neil Young’s nemesis of the month has put his whole hairy foot in his mouth. Mr. Joe Rogaine in Black History Month saying the N word like 80 times and in different contexts. If it was a question of context,  why is Spotify removing those shows? They’re removing them because it’s embarrassing. Why did you give an apology, Joe? Because you are a bit racist. Not the worst. I mean, not as bad as Tucker Carlson. But up there, along with your misinformation about COVID, along with some you could say misogynistic stuff, you have racist stuff. Now I don’t believe in censoring Joe Rogan. And I do believe he does some wonderful shows with Abby Martin, our good friend

Max

And that’s the only good show that he’s ever done.

Dr. Suzy

No, he did a great show with Bernie and with Professor Cornell West and so he has done many great shows.

Max

Oh, Bernie.

Dr. Suzy

Actually he’s done thousands of shows so he has a variety of presentations, but it’s true that his racist intolerance is coming out in Black History Month, as well it should, and as well Joe Rogaine should have people know who he really is.

Max

Yeah, and you know, there’s all these 27 percent 25% of gun owners that apparently caused most of the violence.

Dr. Suzy

Right, we were talking about that last week that Michael Moore—I was reading that statistic in his newsletter and it is true that there aren’t that many gun owners in America. 3% of the gun owners own like 30% of the guns.

Max

Yes, yeah.

Dr. Suzy

And yes, something like 22-24% of Americans own guns, which is a lot but consider the rest of us, the 75% who don’t own guns and don’t want guns everywhere to the point that we’re afraid for our lives, not because we don’t trust you and your good will, but because mistakes happen and they could happen in the supermarket, while we’re there, nothing personal.

Max

Could happen in your car while you’re taking your kid over to the firing range and he shoots you in the back.

Dr. Suzy

Ooh, so we’re also on Twitter tonight and we actually have some new people.

Dr. Suzy

Hello Podcast guy, I think I’ve seen you on Twitter before and of course, everybody knows I love Twitter. Not everybody knows, but now you do, if you didn’t before, but I don’t know this Spaces thing too well,

Max

I love I love Twitter.

Dr. Suzy

So if you want to speak, I guess you raise your hand in some way you request and then we will let you speak. And please give me a chance to figure out how to do this, yes indeed, brothers and sisters…. So Black History Month… Whoopi Goldberg… Let’s talk about her just for a moment, because I kind of love her. I met her briefly and she was produced by my poetry show producer Scott Kelman in Downtown LA at the Pipeline Theater, and this was before she got famous, and I’ve always admired her and I feel she was right and not right about the Holocaust, and she certainly should not be penalized. The View is insufferably boring enough, but Whoopi gives it a little bit of pizzazz. So yeah, she said that the Holocaust was not about race, and in a way she’s right, because race is a made up concept. There are no different races. There’s different skin pigmentations, there’s different features, but there aren’t these different races. That was made up, the black/white, all the different races, the red skin, whether you call it Native American or Indian or you call it Caucasian. It’s kind of not scientific, and so she’s kind of right about that, but that basic phrase it’s not about race, the Holocaust, she’s also wrong about that, because Hitler did say it was about race, so you know he’s kind of the Holocaust Guy.

Max

Is that?

Dr. Suzy

Hitler said the Jews specifically, but also Black people and also gypsies, and also, just a lot of non-Aryan people were inferior races and that the Germans—meaning, not the Jewish Germans, but the Aryan Germans, the blondes not like him, but yeah, sort of related to him—would be the superior race because they would be blonde. And that’s why I’m blonde. Out of a bottle, of course, just because my superiority has to be chemical. And in any case, it was and is all full of malarkey, as our friend Joe would say, but yet it was a Holocaust that was based on this malarkey.

Max

Yeah, yeah.

And by the way Americans were playing this game with this idea that Darwin and his survival of the fittest was racial, which it isn’t.  It’s just about who reproduces. And that’s what Survival of the Fittest is. It’s more about who has a lot of babies.

Max

You know, Arafat used to rub his tummy and say we have a secret weapon, right? The kids, right?

Dr. Suzy

And they kept making them right, right?

Max

And they keep making them.

Dr. Suzy

Yes indeed. I am a human. I was born into this ethnic category of “Jewish,” and I do practice some of the rituals. But I also practice Christian rituals and certainly Buddhist and Hindu rituals. And I would practice more Muslim rituals if I knew about them, so I beg to be educated, but I yeah, I’m not really religious, so I feel too when it comes to Judaism, that Whoopi is correct.

Max

Yeah

Dr. Suzy

You know I used to think she was Jewish because of her last name, but she’s not. She just made up that name. But in any case, she’s right, Jews are not one race. Even if you subscribe to the notion that there are these different races of the human race, the human race is the race. OK, this is the race we’re all running in: the human race, and so she’s kind of right that Jews are not a race. There’s Black Jews, there’s white Jews. There’s red Jews. There’s yellow Jews. There’s maybe some green Jews. That’s true. But then she goes on to say—and I’m really dissecting Whoopi Goldberg here…

Max

That’s OK, go ahead.

Dr. Suzy

 She said, “Man’s inhumanity to man” caused the Holocaust. Now, #1 Whoopi, it wasn’t just men on both sides. I think we’re at a point where I mean, even though I’m usually not into this political correctness at all and I get it and it doesn’t really offend me, but you know, come on, say, just say inhumanity, not man to man. We’re not talking about cattle, although we’re pretty inhumane to cattle. But in any case, it involved different genders as well. And it wasn’t just that. The Holocaust is often represented by Auschwitz, which had a sign over the gate, where they exterminated a lot of Jews and other people. The sign said, “Work makes one free.”  Why do you think it said that the reason it said work makes one free?

Max

What?

Dr. Suzy

It’s because even though the Holocaust is famous for genocide, for killing, for those gas chambers and shootings, and there were a lot of those. But there were also working people, you see that in Schindler’s List you see it, you see it was going on and it was a form of slavery. And it was capitalism turned to fascism and to a Holocaust. And that was what it was. It actually wasn’t about man or woman. It was about a system that went out of control and a lot of good people got sucked into it. And that is what could happen now.

Max

Yeah.

Dr. Suzy

Whoopi darling, this is my lesson for you from me and I’m sure a lot of people are giving you lessons now and I’m sure you can give us a lot of lessons from your incredible life. And I certainly don’t think you should be penalized at all, but it’s a talking point, and it’s BHM so there you go.

Max

OK, so we’ve got Kat is listening.

Dr. Suzy

All right hi Kat.

Max

Kat yeah, and she sent a picture of herself.

Dr. Suzy

Oh, I see Catherine, Peggy. She says, let’s talk about Grace Jones. Let’s celebrate Black History Month.  I agree. I love Grace Jones. I am trying to celebrate Black History Month in my own way and so I was talking about Whoopi and my people are making comments here. “Dr. Suzy makes a powerful point,” says Harry Sapien. “People can get sucked into shit like the Holocaust.” Exactly. It’s really not inhumanity. It IS humanity. This is going on in the human race, that’s another thing Whoopi, it’s not inhumanity. It’s part of who we are. We have to curtail that part of who we are.

Max

We have to.

Dr. Suzy

And that’s why I believe in the Bonobo Way.

Max

Be Bonobo

Dr. Suzy

We have to look to the bonobos who have the same violent instincts that we do, and they curtail them somehow or another. They don’t kill each other, and one of the how-or-others is through sex through having lots and lots of good clean sex. Well, maybe a little dirty sex too.

Max

Fun, well little smelly dirty yeah sure.

Dr. Suzy

Jux Lee says they already bet 100 mil on Rogan. They couldn’t really change horses. Yeah, Jux, you’re such a businessman, I understand that and that’s why it isn’t censorship.

parts.

Max

Jux hasn’t broken any community standards, has he?

Dr. Suzy

Probably has. They’re already betting hundreds. OK, so Rogan, I understand. That’s why all of our criticism is not about censorship. t’s just about us having our voice. Because Rogan obviously has a very amplified voice, so why shouldn’t we criticize him? And why shouldn’t Neil Young take his music off of there if he doesn’t like what he’s saying? This is the public square. This is how we should be communicating, and YouTube should leave us up on our channel and let people that don’t like it respond to us. Except they know people do like it anyway.

Max

Yeah

Dr. Suzy

Jux says the idea of violating community standards is hilarious as there is no community in which smut isn’t the norm. Just look at web stats. Well, there you go. The community loves porn. I mean, we don’t even put out porn. We have our porn on our little channel on our website.

Max

Right.

Dr. Suzy

Right, and we actually give it away for free right now, and you can see Jux Lii’s penis.

Max

What

Dr. Suzy

Well, you can.

Max

You can see what?

Dr. Suzy

He’s got a nice penis.

Max

Who does?

Dr. Suzy

YOU have a very nice penis darling.

Max

I have what?

Dr. Suzy

You have a beautiful penis.

Max

Don’t talk about my penis.

Dr. Suzy

Oh my God, it’s too big to even fit in the studio.

Max

Oh no, you’ve been outed, John.

Dr. Suzy

That’s right, John Thomas. Me and John… we got a thing going on.

Max

Oh yeah.

Dr. Suzy

So Donald says Captain Max loves his Corona and he is on Instagram.

Max

I am a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been recovering for the last 40 years of my life and I I drink other beers too.

Dr. Suzy

I’m a recovering pot addict

Max

I’m not recovering from that yet, right? But I gave up the acid and those kinds of you know.

Dr. Suzy

Actually, since I have been sort of effectively quarantining myself, I haven’t been near too many people, so I haven’t been getting the usual colds that I get and that kind of thing, so I’ve been better, so I’ve been smoking more, and you can hear it in my voice.

Max

And when is this?

Dr. Suzy

Sounds sexy anyway.

Dr. Suzy

Donald now says, “Hi Dr. Suzy,”  because he talked about your beer. Don’t blame Corona beer for Coronavirus…. Lily Garnett asks how did the local Germans who lived near the concentration camps ignore what was happening? Well Lily, because it was business. See, they leave that out of the Holocaust stories. They act like those German citizens were under some sort of a spell. You know how American citizens ignore all the terrible things going on in the local jail? in the local prison where their families work?

Max

Where they have good jobs?

Dr. Suzy

Jobs, yes, that’s how those Germans ignored what was going on in those concentration camps.

Max

They do that downtown too, at the towers.

Dr. Suzy

They just ignore the horrors being committed, and they figure those are bad people in there, and oh well, yeah, they’re getting, you know, tortured and they’re in bondage. And yes, some of them are dying but, they figure, they’re bad people. And they have a job with the prison. And if it’s not their job well, their cousin has a job.

Max

So so for for some very worthless money that you get every month and after taxes for funding the wars. you you kind of, you know it’s tough. it’s very tough.

Dr. Suzy

So Catherine oh, I know who Catherine is… Jesus, you know, I was so confused when you said cat… You know, I’ve had sex with Kat.

Max

Oh, I have great memories of that.

Dr. Suzy

I have had great sex with Kat.

Max

It often comes up.

Dr. Suzy

Yum I’m licking my lips.

Dr. Suzy

Yummy yummy.

Max

Donald is on the line.

Dr. Suzy

And Kat says, “You are my favorite couple.”

Dr. Suzy

She just wants to give you some credit, but have you had sex with her too?

Max

I? No, no, no, no no.

Dr. Suzy

Are you sure? You can! You could.

Max

The positive positive no.  I know it I know.

Dr. Suzy

It would be OK with me. I’m open that way.

Max

I mean I you know you know I have touched with consent yes touched but I have not you know, had.

Dr. Suzy

Touched, that’s good. You have not fornicated, and I haven’t done a lot of fornication either.

Max

Fornicators, right, and but you know today if I was head of some major corporation, I might have to resign… I have a caller.

Dr. Suzy

Yes, we are taking your calls and we have a caller actually and we’re also taking your comments, but that makes us work.

Dr. Suzy

Of course, your calls are a little bit iffy, because you have to have the floor for a little while. So be good, but call us our number is 626-461-5212.

Max

It’s very nice.

Dr. Suzy

626-461-5212, and we’re going to talk with Donald Hello.

Donald

Hi Dr. Susan

Donald

Happy New Year to you.

Dr. Suzy

Happy Nude Rear.

Max

Hey there, hi.

Dr. Suzy

And also happy Lunar Nude Rear because it is the Chinese New Year. And you know when you celebrate the lunar nude rear, you’re mooning the moon over the moon.

Donald

Hahaha. I just watched you guys feed on Instagram and I wanted to weigh in on the Whoopi Goldberg topic.

Dr. Suzy

I’ve just been weighing in, and it’s been heavy. Yeah, you should weigh in, you know get on the scale.

Max

OK, we’re gonna listen.

Donald

I wanted to agree with you on that. It’s a bad thing that she mentioned it on TV, but I understand what she’s coming from. But because I mean the Jewish people had this happened to him. It was not right for it to happen. Oh, it’s not right to also call it racism, when it really wasn’t racism. Right? It was more than just racism.

Dr. Suzy

I only disagree with the first part of what you said, like she shouldn’t have said it on TV because that woman lives on TV. She is always on TV.  I myself don’t live on the air but I understand that when you’re on the air, you’re just talking. Sometimes some of it’s scripted, but we’re not scripted, and maybe she’s not.

Max

When you run.

Dr. Suzy

I don’t think that was scripted.

Donald

That’s why I love you guys too.

Max

’cause we’re unscripted.

Dr. Suzy

We’re unscripted radio, so I agree with you and yeah, it wasn’t about race, but we have to acknowledge that Hitler said it was.

Dr. Suzy

A lot of people said it was about race.

Donald

Yeah, he took it too far.

Dr. Suzy

Hitler took what too far?

Dr. Suzy

He took life too far. His own life. He should have just stayed in the womb. Actually, there is where abortion should have been legal.

Max

And the only time.

Dr. Suzy

Well, I think there’s a lot of cases.

Max

Feel free.

Donald

I know, but the Bonobo Way would have been a whole lot better.

Dr. Suzy

Well, you know the Bonobo Way is kind of the opposite of Hitler I guess. Not that everybody doesn’t have love for somebody, except I think that Hitler actually shot one of his lovers who was a cousin of his. Love is not the answer. Actually a lot of people really mess up their lovers, really.

Donald

Love the Bonobo Way

Dr. Suzy

Yes! Sex is more of an answer than love because good sex—that is good consensual sex—you always have to give all these qualifiers. But yeah, good consensual sex does help ease the tension of life. Love is a mixed bag. You can be a jealous lover and love a whole lot and then shoot everybody up. So I agree with you. Do you agree with me that she shouldn’t be kind of put on this hiatus like she’s in high school?

Donald

Yeah, I agree that she shouldn’t be off for two weeks.

Max

You know?

Dr. Suzy

In Black History Month.

Donald

Something happened that kind of shows the world that you don’t do this on my TV.

Max

Can I just interject something here? We’re talking about Hitler. We’re talking about all these dictators We’re talking about death. That’s happening right now. And is being committed mainly by white folks who are trying to hang on to a history that was all false?

Dr. Suzy

Well, it was based on slavery and exploitation and capitalism taken to its ultimate evil.

Max

Yeah, be Bonobo. Be peaceful.

Dr. Suzy

Be peaceful.

Max

Share food with the world. Share food. Make sure that that people have medicine. Make sure that people have pleasure, not pain and bombing.

Dr. Suzy

And if ever is a time to do it, now is the time, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, because it’s almost World Bonobo Day, which is Valentine’s Day and.

Donald

Amen

Dr. Suzy

Also Lupercalia. Did you say Amen?

Donald

Yes, ma’am.

Dr. Suzy

Well OK but yeah you gotta add Awomen when you’re talking to us ’cause you know Amen, Awomen we’re into that.

Max

Awomen.

Donald

Been a while so.

Dr. Suzy

Some people think it’s silly, but we believe in that. I mean, whatever Amen really means. People say Amen, so why not say Awomen and Abonobos

Max

You know?

Dr. Suzy

Right now, so celebrate Black History Month, Valentine’s Day… But Valentine’s Day is kind of a mixed bag.

Max

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Dr. Suzy

You know, right? It can be scary. I mean I love my Valentine. Hope we have a nice Valentine’s Day.

Max

ohhh

Dr. Suzy

Lots of orgasms and love and hugs and kisses.

Max

No fighting and no fighting

Dr. Suzy

Because we can’t have an orgy right now, but orgy time is a good time.

Max

What is this? Look at this.

Dr. Suzy

That was last week’s Throwback that somehow made its way up here. Anyway, we had a great throwback orgy last week.

Max

Have you guys been watching those?

Dr. Suzy

Uhm, we have some amazing throwbacks right now… Too Short is the star of one of our throwbacks with Bonnie Rotten, who by the way has become Miss Ammpsexual.

Max

Right?

Dr. Suzy

She could give Lauren Boebert a run for her money. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t run for something because she seems to be totally into this, it’s kind of frightening, but in any case, yes.

Max

Remember, she’s she said.

Dr. Suzy

It’s also Eros Day time.

Max

She said when she got out of porn she was going to become a car mechanic.

Max

Well, because I think that’s what she was before porn.

Dr. Suzy

She’s a gunslinger.

Max

OK.

Dr. Suzy

And yes, we have throwbacks galore from when we had orgies, which we don’t have these days.

Max

Is our caller still there?

Dr. Suzy

Yes our caller is there. Donald.

Max

Hi Donald, so sorry to interrupt you.

Donald

No, no, I was like, Dr. Susan, finish your speech.

Dr. Suzy

OK, well I am constantly speechifying and I will continue to speechify. Would you like to stay on the line or should we let you go? ’cause you can listen and then I will continue.

Donald

I’ll stay on the line.

Max

Where? Where are you from?

Donald

Pennsylvania, right?

Dr. Suzy

He’s from my home state, Pennsylvania.

Max

Right, right, right, right, right, right?

Dr. Suzy

But I think from a different part of Pennsylvania. I’m from Philadelphia.

Donald

Well I used to be.

Dr. Suzy

Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania, land where Liberty was born. And now where Dr. Oz is running for senator.

Donald

I don’t see you at all.

Dr. Suzy

A little bit later I would like to deliver my “I have a fantasy” speech. It has a little bit of variation this year, but I’ve delivered it for a couple of years and I’m going to probably deliver it again when I’m on a show on the East Coast on WCAP this coming Saturday morning, when you’re all having morning sex, yeah, I was on last year with Hartley Pleshaw who loves my Counterpunch columns, and Active Radio is the name of his show and I will be giving my State of Sexual Union address. Because there should be sexual union even if it’s all by yourself. You should be able to unite even with yourself like unite your body, mind and soul of yourself so. Kat is on the line so we’re gonna say goodbye to you Donald because we want to say hi to Kat.

Max

Kat is on the line.

Dr. Suzy

But please continue to listen Donald I really appreciate your being there.

Donald

Any time.

Max

And you hold on to Pennsylvania for us now because there’s some radical rebels out there trying to woo trade.

Dr. Suzy

Don’t turn it into the wrong kind of Land of Oz.

Max

Right.

Dr. Suzy

We love the land of Oz that Dorothy was in, but not the Dr. Oz Land of Oz…. And we are taking up your calls at 626-461-5212 and we are going to talk with Kat

Max

Kat… Hey hey hey.

Kat

Hi!

Dr. Suzy

Happy Nude Rear

Kat

Lovely to hear your voice in real time.

Dr. Suzy

I’m going to read your comments.

Kat

Hey yeah, you guys do it.

Dr. Suzy

You say “You’ve done lots to me.”

Kat

OK.

Dr. Suzy

I’ve done lots to you

Kat

You have!

Dr. Suzy

I’ve been inside of you.

Kat

Yes, you have done a lot to me.

Kat

You put a giant, the most giant thing ever inside me

Dr. Suzy

You’ve put some things inside of me too.

Max

Oh goodness, we have.

Kat

Yes I have.

Max

We have. Community standards please absolute.

Dr. Suzy

This is the State of the Sexual Union

Max

Cat cat is with Kat Kat. I have so many wonderful memories of all the different Bonobo balls and Speakeasies that we’ve done.

Dr. Suzy

Yes, you and your lovely husband.

Kat

BD, yeah, wonderful.

Dr. Suzy

BD, I look at his instagrams go by sometimes, beautiful photos, some of you, but lots of other people of all sorts. It’s very entertaining in that Instagramy, anyway…. So what are you up to?

Kat

In this?

Dr. Suzy

Are you having sex? What are you wearing?

Kat

It’s not with him.

Max

Yeah, what are you wearing?

kat

Oh, OK.

Kat

Very little right now, as a matter of fact.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, me too. That’s why I can’t be on camera.

Kat

Oh my goodness. That’s never stopped you before.

Dr. Suzy

Well, but you see, now we’re on all these different platforms. When we do our show that’s with you, that’s just for our website, and yeah, I love to wear very little or get naked with you when it’s just our site, but this on different social media platforms where we’re subject to neopuritanical censorship.

Kat

So we’re gonna have to figure that out. We’ll have to fix that.

Max

Right, so where are you now? Are you in downtown LA? What part of the world?

Kat

I’m in San Diego.

Max

San Diego

Dr. Suzy

Oh oh, you’re near the bonobos.

Dr. Suzy

We should visit you when we go to the zoo, which we plan to do.

Kat

I love you.

Dr. Suzy

Actually we might even go there when we are with Vice.

Max

Right.

Dr. Suzy

We’re doing a documentary with Vice TV and we are possibly going to go visit the bonobos and definitely we want to film some things. So yeah, we’ll talk to you about it, so you should be part of it.

Kat

That sounds lovely, I will.

Dr. Suzy

You should definitely absolutely.

Max

Yeah, so are you both down in San Diego or just you?

Kat

Brad is definitely keeping things going and I’m down in San Diego.

Max

OK, OK.

Kat

Yeah, we’re bicoastal. I guess I don’t know whatever you call it.

Max

Yeah yeah yeah Bisexual BI coastal ooze.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, all kinds of bi’s. It’s a good way to be.

Max

I can’t.

Kat

100%.

Max

Well you guys look great and I must say Kat is really a Bonobo.

Dr. Suzy

Kat is oh so wonderful, so beautiful and so talented at bellydancing with that giant snake.

Max

Oh my God.

Kat

I have a new one that I’m training now

Dr. Suzy

Oh, you are such a brave reptilian goddess. I would like to get another snake.  I’ve had a couple of small snakes and I always name them Eve and I always love them.

Kat

Yeah, I remember when you had a tiny one is when was the girl?

Dr. Suzy

I guess you could say tiny, and yes, she did bite someone.

Kat

She freaked out.

Dr. Suzy

She bit me too, right right?

Max

What bit you?

Dr. Suzy

Well, let’s put it this way, Eve was in so many orgies..

Max

Oh, really.

Dr. Suzy

That the fact that she bit someone just three times was amazing in that all the times, she did nothing.

Max

I mean that snake

Kat

In fact, it was not a big deal.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, so Jux Lii says he loves hearing that voice again and he’s talking about you Kat. And The funny thing is, he only knows you from Olympic. We know you from Pico, that’s where you came to us, was there?

Kat

Oh, interesting.

Dr. Suzy

And I’m trying to remember who introduced you to us.

Kat

Ok

Dr. Suzy

But it was magical.

Max

That was one of the greatest speakeasies that downtown has ever had.

Dr. Suzy

Was it through Kim or the Art gallery?

Max

Yeah, the gallery.

Kat

I don’t know, but I just know we’ve known each other every place you’ve been so like lot of.

Dr. Suzy

No, not every place, sorry you’re not that old.

Kat

Hahaha, that’s OK.

Dr. Suzy

Although I’ve known you through different body types, that’s for sure. And I just love you regardless so much and I’m just so happy you’re joining us here.

Kat

I am too! But I will allow other people to join in this conversation, but just when you come down to San Diego, please let me know.

Dr. Suzy

Oh, I’m so excited. Now we have another reason to go to San Diego

Max

Yeah, OK. We’re going, and probably with a, uh, yeah, we’re going at some point, Yep.

Dr. Suzy

We’re going with our house.

Max

With our house.

Dr. Suzy

We have a motorhome.

Max

We live in a motorhome we we park it outside.

Kat

I love it.

Kat

I will make space for you. I’m right by the beach.

Dr. Suzy

Oh nice, OK. Love to BD, a hug and a kiss and a suck.

Kat

Hahaha.

Dr. Suzy

Happy Valentine’s Day. Happy Lupercalia. Happy World Bonobo Day.

Max

Kat, thank you for your friendship.

Dr. Suzy

And Happy Black History Month.

Kat

Yes, 100 cent.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, and what else? Presidents day? Do we celebrate Presidents Day?

Kat

Not really.

Max

We will celebrate whatever in some way we should celebrate as much as possible.

Kat

My love.

Dr. Suzy

Love, love, love.

Kat

There’s something.

Max

Yeah oh great, keep in touch huh?

Max

OK.

Kat

Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Suzy

All right, we are here, and we are taking your calls at 626-461-5212 and also your comments and we are now getting the comments, so you can make them. And yeah, we’re being censored, we’re being penalized for being different.

Max

Yeah yea

Dr. Suzy

You know when I was a child I was different. I had asthma. And I learned that being different was bad, you know. And I tried to make the best of being different. And yet I didn’t hide being different and there was a certain tolerance that was developing from the time I was a child through the 60s and the 70s in the 80s and the 90s, it seemed to kind of peak to me. The tolerance for people that are different and sexuality maybe into the 2000s, although it seemed to me to all change with 911 and the Bush Wars and the Patriot Act. And it’s gotten worse. And now being different is very dangerous. And being sexual is very dangerous. Again, it was getting more liberal. It was getting more open and now we’re pulling back from sexuality, which is why ammosexuality is developing, and it’s a very dangerous state of the union.

Yes indeed, brothers and sisters. We are feeling it through the censorship of YouTube through the censorship of the Arcadia Kangaroo court. We heard a great song though. Thank you, Danielle Watts, of Django Unchained and Weeds, and much, much more and Chef BeLive, for giving us that great song by Lana Del Rey, “Arcadia.” Beautiful, beautiful and it really reminds me of Arcadia. I think it was done at the Hilton Hotel in in the area…

Max

Yeah

Dr. Suzy

So, we’re getting harassed still, but we’re hanging in there—for you. Okay, it’s mainly for us, but also somewhat for you, we are fighting for your rights to Free Speech. Not as much as Julian Assange, who is getting censored to the point that his freedom is being taken away totally and he is being tortured. We simply had our business license taken away, but I’m not even sure we need a business license for doing this.

Max

That’s that’s the future, you’re going to need a license for speaking. Or you’re going to have to pay to speak, yes indeed. And then you must keep it within the Community standards, of course. Lest it could run wild on you.

Dr. Suzy

And then you get censored and not by individual people. When individual people boycott, I’m all for it. What I’m against is censorship from these corporations that I tell you something. The founding fathers and mothers did not foresee corporations having this kind of power, more power than the government, much more. Facebook has more power than any government. YouTube has more power. Twitter has more power than any particular government and certainly a lot more power than the UN. So you guys, this censorship from these so-called private platforms is a usurpation of our right to free speech and we have to fight for it. We’ll probably lose… Oh, I’m being negative, aren’t I? Well anyway. whether you’re negative or positive, that fucking power of positive thinking is all a bunch of capitalist malarkey anyway. Only a few will become billionaires, and most of them will inherit it, but a few will do it by being evil. It’s malarkey. So think positive, but also think a little negative sometimes because yeah, you gotta watch out as they say. Look up. And catch that comet.

Max

Yeah

Dr. Suzy

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears…. I come to bury Valentine’s Day, not to praise it.

Max

Hahaha.

Dr. Suzy

Sorry to change up Shakespeare’s sacred words from Julius Caesar, Act 3, scene 2 but Valentine’s Day is fake news concocted by the early Catholic Church, enhanced by Hallmark and abetted by Amazon, sanitizing and commercializing the primal Pagan holiday of the heart… which is Lupercalia! And we’ll talk more about that next week.

Max

Yeah!

Dr. Suzy

I think we will, that is if we survive and you know, we don’t get shot.

Max

I don’t know.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, it’s almost Lupercalia. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. It’s almost World Bonobo Day. We’re so excited, it’s all about celebrating lust and not greed.

Max

And pleasure.

Dr. Suzy

And not power… unless it’s power in a pleasurable way, then that’s cool.

Max

Power, pleasure.

Dr. Suzy

Unless it’s the kind of power where everybody has some pleasure, I’m all for that, even with a little bit of consensual pain, I’m all for that. But what we’re talking about is pleasure over power. And by pleasure we don’t just mean sex. We also mean you know food, water, clean air.

Max

At my age I’m breathing stuff that humanity never imagined would be in the air, you know like brake fluid and you know all kinds of plastic components and you know we gotta be very aware of, not for me, I’m I’m going to be dead in a little bit, so that’s no problem, right, right?

Dr. Suzy

We’re all going to be dead in a little bit. It takes so little time even to live a very long life.

Max

And it’s not a matter of saving the planet, it’s saving yourselves ourselves as humanity.

Dr. Suzy

Yeah, the planet will survive the flood, although it’s not just ourselves, there’s quite a few species that are going to go out, including bonobos, and we are celebrating World Bonobo Day so we should save ourselves just because we need to save bonobos.

Max

Of course, the planet.

Dr. Suzy

Although if there was some odd way that we would leave and the bonobos would stay, then probably the bonobos would last a very long time, because the earth would get clean. We saw how that happened during the onset of COVID, when. Everything started cleaning up.

Max

The sky.

Dr. Suzy

The waterways. Even the Venice canals started being swarmed by dolphins, beautiful, when we stopped with all the polluting… I say that as a fellow polluter, of course. But I’m not in charge of that, I’m just a humble Bard. And I am ready to deliver my Dream Speech. “I have a fantasy” is inspired by Dr. King’s amazing “I have a Dream” speech from 1963… Dr. King’s speech has inspired so many people, including me, a humble sexologist. So, with very deep apologies—though I understand that Dr. King was not a Puritan in his private life—I’d like to say I have a dream. Or perhaps considering who I am, I should say I have a fantasy….

I have a fantasy that one day good, clean, consensual sex will not be considered dirty.

I have a fantasy that one day we will be able to talk freely and honestly about our sexuality without censorship, in our public square, which is the Internet on these platforms owned by giant corporations that are our effective government now.

I have a fantasy that one day a woman’s genitals, open or closed, and her nipples, hard or soft, will not be considered obscene.

I have a fantasy that one day a man’s genitals, soft or at attention will not be considered indecent.

I have a fantasy that one day we will value lust over greed and pleasure over power.

I have a fantasy that one day sex education and science will be valued over ignorance and superstition and empty so called patriotism on the right and the left going to war at home and abroad.

I have a fantasy that one day we will not just decriminalize sex work, although we’ve certainly got to do that, and I got that fantasy, but I also have a fantasy that we will destigmatize sex work. Will we do that? Will we destigmatize sex work? Will we make it not evil? Make it like going to a masseuse, a regular masseuse as they say. Though what’s wrong with the happy ending? Why do you think it’s called happy?
I have a fantasy that we will destigmatize sex work, that we will, even as a community, subsidize it for the needy. Because the rich already have plenty of sex work. It’s the poor that need it, and it’s usually the poor that are the ones that are going crazy and ammosexual. Though there are a few rich ammosexuals too… because money can’t buy you love. A lot of people are going nuts, and I mean that in all senses of the term, no offense to squirrels.

I have a fantasy that one day we won’t be discriminated against for our sexual orientation.

I have a fantasy that one day we will all really and truly love one another. That’s love in the good way, not in that jealous, hateful violent I’m-going-to-take-you-with-me-when-I-go way, love in a sexual way in an erotic way, in a I’m-going-to-take-care-of-you way, in a I-hug-you way, care for you and support you, feel for you, take pleasure in your pleasure kind of way.

I have a fantasy that we’re all gonna really and truly love one another in that way, that non-greedy way that lusty way, that way that doesn’t say if you got something, I didn’t. That way that says if you got something, hey hey great.

I have a fantasy that we will all really and truly love one another body, mind and soul.And I do mean the soul of my foot, for all you foot slaves out there.

Ooh, I have a fantasy that one day we will practice the Bonobo way of female empowerment, and male well being.  That’s the other part, you #MeToo’ers. Now I’m all for you with the female empowerment, I am and believe me, I gotta defend you #MeToo’ers, against a lot of upset men. Yiou gotta love your men, even if you’re a total Gold Star lesbian. Men are part of our world, those ammosexual testosterone pumping looney tunes. So male well-being, the Bonobo way, is taking care of our men, and yes, I mean that in all senses of that term. And sharing resources is part of the Bonobo Way, which includes sex but doesn’t have to be swapping spit, and right now we’re in a pandemic, so that’s not a good idea.But there are many ways to share sexuality and guess what? Censorship is the opposite of that. But I’m also talking about other resources besides sexuality, pleasure, resources.

Max

Like food?

Dr. Suzy

Food’s a pleasure. There’s a lot of pleasures. Peace through pleasure, Brothers and Sisters, that is the Bonobo Way, that is the essential message, that you have peace when you share pleasure, peace through pleasure. “Peace on Earth,” as the holiday saying says, means pleasure for all. And pleasure for all leads to peace on Earth. And that is my fantasy.

Max

Great.

Dr. Suzy

It’s a little corny, like John Lennon and Yoko Ono… But the state of the sexual union is we don’t have that. We’re not in that situation. That’s my fantasy because the reality is that we have censorship.

The reality is that we have violence. The reality is that we live in fear.

Max

Can you imagine you you’ve got a few days on this earth and you want to live in fear, right?

Dr. Suzy

Hey fear makes money.

Max

Right?

 Dr. Suzy

The capitalism is off the charts, Brothers and Sisters, this is the problem, it’s not man’s inhumanity to man or woman or transgender. It’s got nothing to do with any of that. It’s capitalism, it’s a few people with all the money, and even they’re not having a good time….

Max

Yeah.

Dr. Suzy

So our throwback this week is Lupercalia 2019, just before the great pandemic, the Coronapocalypse. It’s actually a year before because the Coronapocalypse really set in after the Lupercalia of 2020 which is on YouTube right now. It is somewhat censored, but I’m just wondering when some bot is going to discover that show which was posted a long time ago. We have a lot of shows on there, but Lupercalian shows are about smacking that ass because you know where the Valentine heart comes from?

Max

Where?

Dr. Suzy

My opinion, maybe I’m wrong, but I think the Valentine Heart is shaped like an ass, and Lupercalia is all about spanking and swatting that ass with these leather thongs that are called Februa which our friend Jux Lii made.

Max

Did you read Kat saying that I’m lying in bed listening to your voices?

Dr. Suzy

Oh, I love that.

Max

All right, all right.

Dr. Suzy

I think that’s the message that appeared here, I missed it, but you said, oh, she’s lying there hearing our voices…. Kat, will you touch yourself for me please?

 Max

They can do that at home well.

Dr. Suzy

I want you to just put your hands on your body. Can I say this?

Max

Well, you will get banned.

Dr. Suzy

Am I gonna get kicked off? I wanna say things I can’t say to you. I want you to feel good. I wanna share pleasure with you, Kat. And you know you’re a grown woman. Why can’t I say that?

Max

Right.

Dr. Suzy

Donald is also still here.

Max

Right?

Dr. Suzy

We’re sharing this show with Kat and Don, I tell you. We’re having some fun on FDR the Love Train. And we are riding the rails. We are going off the rails. We are celebrating Valentine’s Day, Lupercalia World Bonobo Day. A little bit of Chinese New Year of the Tiger too. Roar! And Black History Month! And Julian Assange might get somewhere this year, and hopefully he’s going to get a Nobel Prize. I’m excited about that. He’s being nominated by some very hoity toity people and he should get a Nobel Prize because these people that are keeping him in prison should be shamed. There are some instances in which shame is a good thing. Shame is mostly a bad thing and really messes up your sexuality, although when it comes to your sexuality, part of the reason you get turned on by certain things is ’cause your shame is kicking it. But also shame can, often you know, drive people crazy and it’s a bad thing, but it’s a good thing to shame the people that have censored Assange and that includes Obama—but at least Obama didn’t put him in prison, actually—and Hillary Clinton, and everybody that worked for Trump and Biden and all your counterparts in the UK should be ashamed of yourselves keeping Julian Assange in prison. Y’all should be ashamed of yourself.

 Max

Shame on you.

 Dr. Suzy

And I don’t mean that in a sexy way. It sounded a little too sexy, didn’t it?

 Max

No no no no no no. That’s right shame on you, that’s right.

 Dr. Suzy

And shame on these people that made this so called documentary on Hef. You know I am a documentary filmmaker, and I’m a member of the documentary division of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences that gives Emmys for documentaries. I haven’t gotten an Emmy but I am a member of the Academy. And I am just horrified by what passes for documentaries these days, including this thing on Hef

Max

On Hef oh Hef yeah, so ridiculous.

Dr. Suzy

I spent time at the Playboy Mansion now maybe I wasn’t attractive enough for Hef to feed me Quaaludes I admit, but at the same time.

Max

How unlucky?

Dr. Suzy

I saw people on drugs, but you know this was the 80s in the early 90s. Everybody was taking drugs. It was a popular thing, so Hef was being demonized. I was very outraged. And then at the same time I see now he’s being defended by other Playmates. Now these Playmates that demonized Hef in this documentary—I don’t want to give credit to any of them because they want publicity—they want to make money and sell their books.

Max

Yeah.

Dr. Suzy

And that’s another thing that’s become bastardized, this whole term “book. These people get some ghostwriter, and they’re authors. And by the way, I have been a ghost writer, so I know ghostwriting. Hello Dr. Toni! Anyway, the term “book” is desecrated. The author is no longer a literary person or even just a writer who wrote a book. It’s literally anybody famous.

Max

Right?

Dr. Suzy

Anyway, they’re demonising Hef and I don’t like it.

 Max

I was I I went there too, but then I got kicked out. That’s ’cause they wouldn’t invite me anymore.

 Dr. Suzy

What did you do, track poop in there? What did you do?

 Max

No, no, it’s just very disappointing.

 Max

I mean frankly, our no no, I was never invited again when I did the LA Star. I know, but now that you mentioned it, it wasn’t anything like Pico Blvd no.

Dr. Suzy

There wasn’t a lot of sex going on, but maybe we missed that era, but the way the girls are talking about it in that documentary, it’s about a later era than us.

Max

Right?

Dr. Suzy

And I saw The Grotto and these big Mansion events and people were mostly pretty stiff actually, compared to Bonoboville and our orgiastic events

Max

Very stiff, a lot of suits.

Dr. Suzy

But you know, even the accusers don’t really say that Hef forced them to do anything. Hef would say, “Would you like a quaalude? They’re called thigh openers, ha ha ha.” All right, so nobody laughed, stupid joke, and yet that becomes some sort of great, terrible thing that he gave Quaaludes to girls who said yes.

Max

We were all giving. each other stuff then as I recall. I would give they would give.

 Dr. Suzy

That’s not like slipping a Mickey or like slipping a roofie into someone’s drink.

Max

Hey, you want some.

Dr. Suzy

Acid, right?

Dr. Suzy

People did that stuff. I took a quaalude it didn’t knock me out and I decided I don’t want to take Quaaludes, but I did take it once.

Max

I’ve never taken a quaalude

Dr. Suzy

Yeah it makes you very sleepy. It’s not that fun.

Max

Mushrooms?

Dr. Suzy

Now that’s fun. Danielle and Belive are going to tell me about the great medicinal qualities of mushrooms. And Tom Smith.9 on Instagram is saying the brilliant statement, “hello.” I love how these people make these statements, hello, hey or hi. why do they do that? Why do they bother? Why don’t they say like, at least, “you sound awful” or something of interest, but “hello”?

Max

Kat is sending me sexy pictures.

Dr. Suzy

Now that’s something of interest.

Max

Yeah

Dr. Suzy

We have some good comments. I’ve demanded that of our listeners. I don’t like this just “hello” stuff. I’ll let you get away with it a few times.

Max

And these are real friends, actually, that is another way.

Dr. Suzy

Frei Vogel here says good morning from Germany. Well, there’s a little bit of interest there.

Max

Hello hello hello.

Dr. Suzy

At least we know she’s from Germany, and we were talking about one of your former countrymen.

Max

What was his name?

Dr. Suzy

Adolf.

Max

Hahaha. No, that’s no good, but Germany is great. My dad lived in Germany.

Dr. Suzy

Adolfo right, was his name Adolfo? Or Rudolfo your uncle?

Max

My uncle was Rodolfo…. Oh my goodness, did you see this picture to cat sent?

Dr. Suzy

Can you turn it and let me see?

Max

Then, uh, well, yes, I can sort of turn it.

Dr. Suzy

Oh are those her boobs?

 Max

Oh yeah.

 Dr. Suzy

Well, if you show it to all of our platforms they might freak out.

 Max

Ah yeah.

 Max

Community standards.

 Dr. Suzy

You notice on my picture of the Orgy. First of all it is very small, a small orgy. It was actually a huge orgy, but the picture is part of a Valentine’s mélange, Lupercalia World Bonobo Day, Valentine even kissing… I am kissing my Valentine

 Max

Oh that is Kat. Oh beautiful.

 Dr. Suzy

You don’t see nipples

 Max

No, no, there’s no nipples You can show that.

 Dr. Suzy

You could yeah… no…. now we are almost over, right?

 Max

I certainly am almost over.

 Dr. Suzy

Right?

 Max

In my life, but it’s kind of joyous. It’s kind of nice, you know you’re gonna be dead.

 Dr. Suzy

That’s part of the State of the Sexual Union. It’s kind of joyous, and it’s kind of nice… and yet there is so much we need from our community, our sexual human community and we are all sexual humans and we are good sexual humans. You know that, YouTube, so why are you censoring us?

 Max

Yeah

 Dr. Suzy

It’s funny the last time they did this it was our Insurrection show that actually had no images. They censored us for bullying.

Max

Oh yeah, right.

 Dr. Suzy

Because we were criticizing the bullies, the bullies being of course, the Insurrectionists trying to “Hang Mike Pence.”  Oh I was only imitating them. I was not saying to do that.

 Max

Yeah, because it’s words the censorship of individual.

 Dr. Suzy

Words yes indeed.

 Max

Because the bots aren’t that smart, so they can’t connect it to anything. It’s just there it is. Yeah, that’s the word. Oh well, you know.

 Dr. Suzy

So wow wow wow wow. Do you wanna state things?

 Max

Do I want to say things?

 Dr. Suzy

I did say state.

 Max

I would like to state. Well, I’m making a statement I would like to state that I am just excited about being with you tonight in your in your house, in your car, in your cardboard box, in your mansion world. I’m thrilled that I had the evening with you and with Dr. Suzy and Frank Miller, the engineer. And yeah. Goodnight, thanks.

 Dr. Suzy

Look, hey, don’t say goodnight.

 Max

Oh Oh no no no goodnight.

 Dr. Suzy

There’s me.

 Max

You say goodnight. I apologize, I I will resign.

 Dr. Suzy

You should be part of the great resignation if you’re going to resign, but no, you shouldn’t resign.

 Max

Go go.

 Dr. Suzy

I’m the one that always does the ending. You do the beginning. We could trade.

 Max

Go no no, I’m done, yeah.

 Dr. Suzy

I could do the beginning and you could do the end

 Max

But now this is yours.

 Dr. Suzy

Sometimes I think I should come first. But usually you do.

 Max

What do you mean come first?

 Dr. Suzy

When we have sex, you usually come first and then I do.

 Max

Where did you get that story?

 Dr. Suzy

Isn’t it true?

 Max

It’s true.

 Dr. Suzy

I mean usually.

 Max

I gotta pee in my pants section.

 Dr. Suzy

Well, that’s not part of our sex life.

 Max

No, no, I haven’t felt like this since I was held out in the parking lot and I had to pee.

 Dr. Suzy

Sometimes I come first. Actually I do a lot.

  Max

A lot, a lot, lot.

 Dr. Suzy

But I always help you to come.

 Max

Yeah yes, of course yes.

 Dr. Suzy

Yeah, I don’t just go to sleep like one of those type of bad lovers.

 Max

No, no, no I did, I didn’t say that.

 Dr. Suzy

No, and it’s Valentine’s Day so… Don’t be a bad lover! Make sure you’re good so you can get all that chocolate! Be good, be happy, try not to hurt anyone, including yourself. Make like bonobos! Make my fantasy come true. I have a fantasy that’s my state of the sexual union. Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make Love, Not War. Make Love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you, Valentine. I love you.

Show Length 01:20:22  Date: February 5, 2022

© February 6,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.