Asia Experiences G-Spot Female Ejaculation on RadioSUZY1.   Photo: Dan Yezhov

Length: 91:45 minutes

Date: 07/17/2010

People hate to admit that they’re wrong, especially after they’ve just published a well-funded, highly publicized “scientific” study, like “The G-Spot: Fiction or Friction.” This was the catchy title of the King’s College London survey conducted by Dr. Andrea Burri and Dr. Tim Spector, that professed to have determined “fairly conclusively” that the “G-spot” is “probably a myth,” essentially forced upon innocent, G-spotless women by nefarious “magazines and sex therapists.”

Being both a sex therapist and a magazine publisher, I felt I was being charged twice with the same crime.  And what was the crime? Having a G-spot? Helping other women to find their G-spots? Encouraging men to go spelunking into the feminine cave to strike G-spot gold?

Whatever the charge, I felt moved to defend myself, my G-spot and the grossly insulted G-spots of women everywhere.  So I blogged an impassioned “Defense of The G-Spot: Yes, Virginia, It Does Exist!, with detailed instructions for finding it, in case she (Dr. Andrea Virginia Burri)—or anyone else—really wanted to look, as well as a point-by-point assessment of her study as  “ill-conceived, poorly analyzed, illogically interpreted and just plain wrong.”

To say the least.

But being demonstrably, obviously, enormously wrong is rarely enough to make most people confess they may have made a mistake. This is why it was so awesome and gratifying to hear that Dr. Burri had “backed down” from the claims of her spurious study.  She admitted her mistake. Wow, what a woman…
(more…)

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

https://drsusanblock.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/13/20000000_Bonobo_Imperative_edit_1.mp4

Length 01:58:46  Date:  2000

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

READ IT ON COUNTERPUNCH

by Dr. Susan Block.

If “Hindsight is 2020,” let’s hope we can get our heads out of our asses in 2021.

Blame it on tRump.

Blame it on the Coronapocalypse.

Blame it on Mitch the Bitch for the Rich.

Blame it on cold-blooded capitalism.

Blame it on hot-headed racism.

Blame it on the Anthropocene.

Blame it on sadistic police.

Blame it on greedy incels and hypocritical cuckolds at the highest levels of oligarchy.

Blame it on self-sabotaging marks and ammosexual disinformation junkies at the lowest levels of WWE/QAnon, “owning the libs” all the way to the grave.

Blame It on Rio—a dumb, disturbing, 1984 movie, though we actually *could* blame former Rio de Janeiro deputy, Jair Bolsonaro (now leading the country as “The Brazilian tRump”), at least in part, for the burning of the Amazon. And no, I don’t mean the worker-flogging corporation; I mean the life-giving rainforest.

It’s as if one of the lungs of the Earth is suffering from Covid-19.

Whether you choose to play Pin the Blame on the Donkey, the Donnie or the Elephant in the room, 2020 was a HELL of a year for most of us.

But not all of us.

Owners’ Choice

Indeed, 2020 was a HEAVENLY year for billionaires—our “owners,” as George Carlin would say—their fortunes soaring to Olympian heights never before seen by humankind, some of the filthy-richest reaching for the stars, leaving “the poor” in their rocketship exhaust-belching dust.

It was also a pretty profitable spin around the sun for the American Military-Industrial Complex (featuring the new Space Farce, christened “Guardians” in a prayerful nod to Drax the Destroyer and The Handmaid’s Tale’s “Theocracy Police,” the starlit pride of the War Machine, despite tRump’s faux “antiwar” bluster), recipients of a $740 billion Xmas gift as Americans struggle and die.

Also thriving in the Coronapocalypse: The Prison-Industrial Complex, still appallingly overcrowded, even with all the pandemic-related releases. Morgues, body bags and freezer trucks are likewise doing bang-up business in 2020 and, sadly, looking forward to more than they can handle. Yes indeed, if only Trumpty Dumpty’s slogan had been “Make Americans Die Again… and Again and Again,” he’d be a winner all the way.

Doubling down on death in his unpresidented last days, his thirst for Thanatos unquenched by having presided over 340,000 (and rising) Covid-related deaths in America, our lame duck Executioner-in-Chief is rushing to execute as many mentally ill Death Row inmates as possible while pardoning war criminals (when he *should* be pardoning Julian Assange!!). No doubt Bush and Cheney’s entire Iraq invasion and occupation was and still is a gigantic, ongoing war crime for which both should be in prison, but this Blackwater mass-murder scene was particularly grisly.

But it’s not just His Trumpishness; it’s all of us.  Murder rates soared throughout America in 2020.

Meanwhile, our celebrated Congresspeople are busy fluffing the rare bird feather pillows of their corporate patrons, as they finally and very dramatically—with much whiplash-inducing back-and-forth—cut a tiny pencil-dick-sized stimulus check that will alleviate the physical and/or mental suffering of millions of strapped, trapped Americans for about two days.

Nevertheless, these same politicians still find time and “bipartisanship” to devise draconian, Puritanical, “White Sharia” bills to “stop sex trafficking” that don’t actually do any such thing; instead, they only punish consenting adult sex workers, along with censoring erotic expression for the rest of us. These Religious Right-supported anti-sex crusades are aided and abetted by ignorant “liberals” who also supported FOSTA/SESTA in 2018. Jumping on the porn-demonizing dogpile, Visa/Mastercard recently decided to dropkick those naughty Pornhub sex workers trying to make ends meet by cutting off their income.

Being a sex therapist, I’m particularly attuned to the plight of sex workers. However, the screws are being put to all workers—whether “essential” to the rich, thus expected to risk their lives for a bit of cash—or out-of-work and subject to eviction and food insecurity… not to mention an even lousier sex life, now that our financial corporate overlords have trashed their favorite sex workers like last night’s New Year Eve’s decorations.

What a compassionate holiday-spirited gesture in the midst of a pandemic!

It’s like 2020 locked down everyone in solitary confinement… and then wouldn’t even let us whack off in there.

Don’t Just Go Bananas—Go Bonobos!

One way or another—between valid fear, crazed paranoia, mask hysteria, depression, delirium, disinformation, mistrust in everything, stress, sex problems, cabin fever, confusion and, for too many of us, terrible sickness, sudden death and the loss of loved ones—we are going bananas!

One irony is that even the billionaires (with the possible exception of MacKenzie Scott)—even as they greedily suck up all the clean air in the room (or the world) and even though they are a billion times less likely to suffer physical hardship in the pandemic or anytime (despite that “we’re all in this together” crap)… even they are pretty miserable too.

It feels like we’re on a collision course with catastrophe—with Covid, Climate Change, capitalism (and that’s just the letter “C”)—and in our mad effort to escape, we’re going the wrong way.

Therefore, with passion, pleasure and a slightly greater sense of urgency than last year, I’m renewing my perennial New Year’s Resolution to travel the Bonobo Way.

Instead of just going bananas… Go Bonobos in 2021!

We can do it. Things look bleak (see above), but there’s hope (isn’t there always?) and maybe even progress.  Let us take some comfort and inspiration in the fact that, thanks to all of us (well, all but about 75 million of us), the Sorest Loser of 2020 actually lost.

Those of us who have been mentally and physically oppressed by the constant, truth-defying whine of the Grifter-in-Chief—the wail of an undiapered adult baby in need of a stern Dominatrix (specializing in golden showers, of course)—have joined together, from the outer reaches of antifa to the inner sanctums of the Federalist Society (strange bedfellows indeed), to push Trumpty Dumpty off his damn wall.

Splat.

And all the Wannabe King’s Horseshit-Spewers and all his Faux-Manly Men can’t put Trumpty Dumpty together again—though, as of this writing, they’re still trying.

Mainly they’re getting egg on their face—or hair dye—but they’re still trying.  

The Trumpus is indeed the “Sorest Loser” ever, the first President whose favorite winter holiday must be Festivus; taking the “Airing of Grievances” to lower levels of human decrepitude than even Seinfeld fans imagined.

Talk about playing Pin the Blame on the Donkey… or RINO or anybody really.

Joe Biden is no Messiah, quite the contrary, and he is already disappointing even the most optimistic progressives. But at least, he’s not the daily five-alarm fire we’ve had in the Trumpster Dumpster for four years. But bidin’ our time with Biden could put many progressives to sleep. Joe and Kamala could do some good things, but only if we give them a push. We pushed Trumpty Dumpty off that Wall; but pushing Joe and Kamala to actually help the people who need it could prove more daunting.

Blowback from tRump’s Great Adventure in Losing Bigly could be a rude awakening. We succeeded in Smashing Trumpkin (yay us!), but everything might not come up roses where we bury the pieces; rather those Trumpkin seeds of anger and disinformation might sprout into a raging tRump run in 2024 (Gallup just named him America’s “Most Admired Man”), as even more virulent MAGAts, human murder wasps and swamp things crawl out of the poisoned soil.

Whether we tell ourselves we can “Make America Great Again” or “Return to Normal,” every new year’s truth is this: We can’t turn back the clock.

We’re ’21: Let’s Act Adult & #GoBonobos!

Who knows what the future may bring? We certainly didn’t know the Coronapocalypse was upon us when we rang in 2020.

That’s okay because my “Resolution to Go Bonobos in 2021” mirrors my 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 and 2015 resolutions, which makes 2021 (MMXXI) the seventh Year of the Bonobo, and isn’t seven a lucky number? Three sevens (21) is the highest hand in blackjack, and now that our millennium has reached the age it’s old enough to gamble, drink and have sex in every state, it’s time to grow up (here’s looking at you, Diaper Don), act *adult* and #gobonobos.

Acting adult means being responsible—as opposed to, say playing the blame game, not to mention playing golf while thousands are dying under your command.

It also means having what we often—in our Puritanical efforts to avoid spelling out the word “s-e-x”—call “adult fun.”

Which brings us back to bonobos. If there were an “adults only” section of the zoo, it would be the “Make Love Not War” bonobo exhibit. Bonobos have a lot of sex—both quality and quantity—and they use it to resolve conflict and keep the peace in their communities. Though bonobos are often observed doing the dirty in a Bonobo Sutra of different positions, no bonobo has ever been seen killing another bonobo in the wild or captivity. This has something to do with all the sex. Bonobos make peace through pleasure.

With human murder rates on the rise and sexual restrictions tightening their chokehold on erotic expression, 2021 seems like a good year to go bonobos.

Thus, it’s my new year’s resolution for 2021. But… can I keep it? Could you?

Unfortunately, we gun-toting, bomb-dropping humans are a long way from the Bonobo Way.

And yet we’re so close! Along with common chimpanzees, bonobos are the closest nonhuman animals to human, over 98% genetically similar. Some researchers consider bonobos to be a close living model of early people. In their gait and facial structure, they resemble Australopithecus, an ape that went extinct about two million years ago and is believed to be among the ancestors of humankind. Bonobo studies demonstrate that language communication, cooperation, playing practical jokes and other complex activities that we used to think of as solely human can be performed by these amazing apes.

Does it bother you that I compare a hooting, hairy ape to you, a dignified, civilized Homo sapien?

Well, you have to admit some of us are getting pretty hairy in quarantine.

Nevertheless, many on the Religious Right and the Woke Left do NOT like this long-held scientifically proven notion that we, and therefore they, are very close to apes. As a bonobo advocate, I’ve run into both types of great ape denialists.

On the Religious Right, we have the Evangelicals who believe that “God”—often defined as a mysterious Superhuman hovering above and within us—gave “Man” (and, to a lesser degree, Woman) dominion over all the animals, under the assumption that “he” (Man, that is) isn’t one of these lowly creatures.

Forget the fact that humans often behave in far more beastly ways than most beasts. Creationists and the like prefer to align us more closely with the mythical “angels” in the sky than our real-life fellow beings on Earth. Apparently, God and His entourage of angels guide humanity to world domination. How can humans effectively dominate the world if we’re just apes?

Well, we can’t. And it’s becoming more and more obvious with each new year that we’re doing a pretty lousy, globally devastating job of pretending that we can.

As for the Woke Left, at least there aren’t a lot of Dominionists. However, we do find many who feel that talking about how close we humans are to great apes is invariably racist or, at least, racially insensitive.

It’s true that history has been packed with racists who compared certain so-called races with apes or monkeys in order to make some stupid, vicious, wrongheaded, dehumanizing and all-too-often deadly point.

Nevertheless, for what it’s worth in these anti-science times, the scientific consensus is that there’s just one race, the human one, and we’re not just close to great apes; we humans ARE great apes.

It’s 2021. Time to grow up, act our age, acknowledge our great ape heritage and go bonobos.

Yes, we could just “go ape.” We humans are equally close to common chimpanzees, and almost as close to gorillas and orangutans, all fine members of the Great Ape family. Indeed, we can learn a lot from all nonhuman animals.

But personally, I’ve got a lady boner for bonobos.

Maybe it’s because I’m a peace activist. Or a feminist. Or a sex therapist. Or a sex maniac.

In their native habitat of the Congolese rainforest (the world’s other lung, also suffering from ominous COVID-like symptoms) and in captivity, bonobo communities empower the females, tending to put the older ones in charge; MILFs rule Bonoboville, and rape and harassment are rare. #MeToo could learn a thing or two from bonobos.

You might think that with females in charge, the males would suffer or get pissed off. But you’d be wrong. Bonobo males are pretty happy to have the ladies run the show; in general, they are less anxious (unless they’re being bombed), more youthful and easy-going than their stressed-out common chimp counterparts.

This is partly because they get laid (a lot!) by eager, confident, older and younger females, as well as by each other. Bonobos are pansexual. Everybody’s bi in Bonoboville, and sex, love and physical touch are the lubricants of life.

Indeed, bonobos are the touchiest apes on Earth. They are constantly “in touch,” breathing in each other’s intimate feelings, pleasurable feels, calming hormones, enticing pheromones and yes, deadly germs and viruses.

So yes, it does feel a little strange to resolve to “go bonobos” under current Coronapocalyptic conditions.

How can I “go bonobos in 2021” from behind a mask, physical-distancing and—aside from my beloved partner-in-isolation, aka my husband Max—not having touched another fellow human in almost a year, without a firm “happy ending” in sight to our current real-life horror movie?

I’ve long felt we humans would be a lot better off if we touched each other even half as much as bonobos do. Numerous studies have shown how much humans need touch to thrive or even survive, and when we don’t get touched, we suffer and, all too often, we make others suffer along with us. This is one reason that human homicide rate is up these days.

The bonobos’ focus on sensual, consensual, mutually pleasurable, affectionate, intimate touch, nose-to-nose communication and community cuddle piles—are key to keeping the peace in their communities, and I feel strongly that a human variant on that would help us do the same.

But now is not the time to reach out and touch each other—not in a pandemic!—at least not in real life. Hopefully, the vaccine will work against the virus and all its mutations, and enough people will get it so we can go back to being close again, and follow the bonobo way of sex and consensual affectionate touch… before it’s too late.

In the meantime, our kissing cousins have many other important (though maybe less fun) lessons to teach us.

In addition to being sexual athletes—physically and mentally—bonobos practice social tolerance, egalitarian sharing, caring and cooperation. A recent study published in Science Advances shows that bonobos engage in “shared intentionality” and joint commitment to getting a task done, whether it’s foraging for food or having sex.

We humans are also very good at bonoboësque activities like sharing and cooperating; that is, when we’re not being driven mad by war, poverty, alienation, forced competition, sexual repression and corporate advertising.

Bonobos love to share food and sex with friends; but they enjoy sharing it even more with strangers… who soon become new friends. They remind us of how excited we curious apes are by the new and different; it’s mainly our leaders who convince us to fear and loathe the foreigner.

Though consensual erotic touch is the gold standard of bonobo pleasure, bonobos are also “kinky” in ways that give me hope that we humans can sexually survive while physical-distancing, at least for a while.

For instance, bonobos enjoy watching and being watched (as well as being heard), which portends well for human attempts to pleasure ourselves in the virtual world. Though please, keep your Zoom Dick in your panties on non-sex calls!

They also stimulate themselves with “sex toys,” such as branches in the wild and rubber balls at the zoo. So, as we try to amuse ourselves with our vibrators and gasmasks, we can rest assured that it’s all very natural and bonoboësque.

In 2021, if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the sex toy you’re with (apologies to Stephen Stills).

The Bonobo Way of Surrender

Bonobos are very lusty, but not at all greedy. These are probably the natural tendencies for most humans too. It’s mainly our corrupt leaders and those deranged billionaires who convince us that lust is bad and greed is good.

Lust has its drawbacks, for sure, especially in a pandemic. But greed is always bad for everyone, even the greedy person.

Bonobos love to play, sometimes just for fun, sometimes as seriously as we humans play the Superbowl. They like to win, of course, but they’re not afraid to lose.

That’s because, unlike the “Sore Loser” Way, the Bonobo Way isn’t a zero-sum game. It’s a game of love that sometimes entails surrender.

In war and capitalism (which includes Trumpism), surrender means defeat. In love and ecology, surrender can be sweet. It’s the Bonobo Way.

Orgasm itself is an act of surrender. You can’t *win* when it comes to coming; you either surrender to pleasure or you just can’t come.

Even in war, when the gig is up, it often behooves a soundly defeated nation to surrender. Though punished, Japan and Germany have also benefited from surrendering to the Allies after WWII, quickly becoming a couple of the most prosperous nations on Earth.

Refusal to surrender is stressful for all involved.  It’s both awesome (in causing a Republican party implosion) and awful to see the Trumpenstein refuse to surrender, churning up disinformation and disorientation by the bucketload in his exxxtreme denial.

Of course, if this tiny-fingered tyrant would just surrender, it would be good therapy for everyone.  His bogus challenges to his loss keep failing, but with my Yale classmate, New York D.A. Cyrus Vance, Jr.’s criminal investigations into the Trump Crime Family looming, the Big Bambino is desperately clinging to his Crib of Power. With a few more unhinged “never surrender” tweets, Trumpty Dumpty could unleash enough MAGA/Proud Boy/police violence into the streets of America to kickstart a coup…

Yikes!

Actually, surrender would be great therapy for a lot of the stressed out, undersexed rich. My Darling Billionaires: Surrender some of your dough and your happiness will grow!

This is why, as we surrender 2020 to the winning power of 2021, the hubby and I have launched a new radio show called “F*ck Da Rich” (F.D.R. for short). As that great French Revolutionary (who loved a good spanking from a stern mistress), Jean-Jacques Rousseau, first suggested, the poor should “eat the rich,” and many of 2020’s great protestors agree. The F.D.R. said “tax the rich,” which apparently makes too much sense to actually do these days.

In that spirit, we feel that “Da Rich” might find that opening their wallets to their community is as delicious as opening their legs to a great lover. Besides it’s in their best interest to surrender to the joy of getting fucked nicely (consensually giving up some of your excess money to the community, aka socialism) if you don’t want to get fucked really badly (the barbarians at your gates and the hordes at your doors or at least threatening and surrounding you and your bodyguards whenever you go out).

After all, it’s better to get F*cked than Eaten.

Rich or poor, we all need to learn to joyfully surrender to nature, like our kissing cousins, the bonobos, and all the other animals except us.

Domination of nature can only go so far. We can only fuck Mother Nature so long before she fucks us back—and not nicely. Can we learn to surrender to Nature? Or will human society die trying to dominate Her in vain?

Many pundits and “influencers” agree we need to share more, show more compassion, practice egalitarianism, be a bit more lusty (consensually, of course) and a lot less greedy. But where is our living role model for this type of behavior? Small human collectives that all too often fall apart before they really take hold?

Here is an entire species that does a lot of what we say we want to do, and they just happen to be the closest “other” species to human. Let’s take advantage and learn the ecosexual ways of the bonobo.

The best way to combat the siren song of greed is with the real bonoboësque pleasures of life. The antidote to the Prosperity Gospel of the Right and the liberal *religion* of Professional Supremacy and Career Success is the passion and compassion of the Bonobo Way.

We can best learn the Bonobo Way is through observing and interacting with real, living bonobos. Tragically, COVID-19 is not only a human virus, but also deadly to great apes, including bonobos who are already highly endangered.

If there’s any hope of humanity “going bonobos,” we shouldn’t let the real bonobos go extinct. That’s my resolution anyway, and the resolution—as well as the revolution—starts with me.  And you. Since you’re reading this new year’s plea for bonobo awareness (possibly for the seventh time, in which case, my apologies for any repetition), I hope you’ll join me in helping save the bonobos through donations to:

1) Lola ya Bonobo (Bonobo Paradise) is a bonobo “refugee” sanctuary outside Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Operated by the luminous, tireless Claudine André,  “orphans” of the devastating “bushmeat” trade are rescued, cared for at Lola, and eventually released back into the wild. Lola ya Bonobo staff are working around the clock, not even seeing their own families during the Coronapocalypse, to keep the bonobos well cared for and safe. Donations are administered by Friends of Bonobos.

2) The Bonobo Conservation Initiative (BCI), founded by my amazing friend, Sally Coxe, works with indigenous people to develop a Bonobo Peace Forest, providing much-needed food, medical care, school supplies and jobs to villagers who live in the bonobos’ area to protect their precious and vulnerable wild populations from the ruthless or uninformed poachers who would shoot them for bushmeat.

3) The Bonobo Project, under the direction of Ashley Stone, is helping to spread the word about bonobos, their inspirational culture and their highly endangered status. Mark your 2021 Calendar for World Bonobo Day on February 14th. After all, Valentine’s Day is for lovers, and bonobos are the masters and mistresses of love… all kinds of love.

Thus, in 2021, I resolve to do what I can to help save the bonobos, to release my inner bonobo and to help others to release theirs (if they so desire), to put pleasure before greed and love before hate, and to hold our leaders to that sexy, sustainable standard.

If and when “better times” are here, hopefully, this year, let’s make the most of them! In the meantime, let’s make the most of these strange days we are forced to share through the Coronapocalypse, however it may unfold.

There are lessons in bonobo love to learn and enjoy in every day.

Amen and AWOMEN.

Happy Nude Rear and #GoBonobos in 2021!

READ IT ON COUNTERPUNCH

© January 1, 2021. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. Watch The Dr. Susan Block Show live every Saturday night from Bonoboville. For information, call 213-291-9497. Email comments or questions to her at [email protected] and you will get a reply.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

https://drsusanblock.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/13/20210415_Interview_Woods_Hare_edit_24.mp4

by Dr. Susan Block.

Those words “Survival of the Friendliest” have a familiar ring, like an old saying you were taught long ago.

But most likely, you weren’t.

In fact, you probably learned the opposite, that Charles Darwin’s famous “Survival of the Fittest” rule meant that only the strong survive in the human “race” to the top, that those tough alpha males, stiff competitors, conquering conquistadors, ruthless capitalists and Superman-types were, essentially, the “winners” of the battle, knocking out, stepping on or blowing up the competition to win “Survival of the Fittest.” Like on that classic *reality* show Survivor. It’s not pretty, but it’s the Law of the Jungle… or the Island… or the Ratings War. Isn’t it?

No, actually, it isn’t.

In My Bonobo Mask & Shades to Welcome Dr. Brian Hare & Vanessa Woods doing The Wave. Video Frame

As Duke University Professor of Evolutionary Anthropology, Dr. Brian Hare, and award-winning journalist and research scientist, Vanessa Woods, explain in Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding Our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity, and in an interview I conducted with them as part of The Dr. Susan Block Show Bedside Chat in the Coronapocalypse series (#25) and peace-through-pleasure studies program, the scientific truth is that the “fittest” living things tend to be the friendliest.

That is, Darwin’s concept of “Survival of the Fittest” doesn’t have much to do with physical fitness or rugged individualism, despite what the bullies, racists, eugenicists and super-capitalists say. It’s not about being the strongest, the toughest or even the smartest.

Though it might have something to do with being the sexiest… especially when it comes to “sexual selection.”

Being sexy, warm, caring, communicative, cooperative and even nice, are all part of this curiously powerful “friendliness” quotient that has enabled humans and other creatures to survive and thrive for millennia.

How about those other creatures? Aren’t they all dog-eat-dog in the shark-tank competitors?

Read “Survival of the Friendliest” on COUNTERPUNCH

Sure, lions may fight to be “King” of the Jungle, and elks can get their antlers caught up in WWE-style competitions. But Survival of the Friendliest shows how, far more often, successful cooperation rules nature, from ants working together to create palaces of sand, to flowers and bees developing a beautiful, fragrant, symbiotic relationship allowing them both to bloom and buzz. Likewise, friendliness has long been the winning attribute of the human animal.

Yes, we are animals, and a lot of human problems stem from forgetting that basic fact. But there are two other species that Hare and Woods present as shining examples of friendliness at its peak (and they happen to be two of my personal favorites): bonobos and dogs.

I first met Vanessa Woods through her eloquent book, Bonobo Handshake, about her primatological research and personal experience at Lola ya Bonobo. Video Still

Hare and Woods are internationally renowned experts in both. Partial disclosure: I’ve known Vanessa Woods (virtually) since 2010 when I interviewed her about her marvelous memoir Bonobo Handshake (she even calls it “one of my favorite interviews ever!”), and I feel like I’ve known Dr. Brian Hare for about as long, since he’s the book’s central human character, the leading man and the focus of the author’s greatest joys as well as her most maddening frustrations. Vanessa and Brian are married, and Bonobo Handshake: A Memoir of Love and Adventure in the Congo is, in part, the story of how they fell—and managed to stay—in love.

The tale is told against the complex, bloody backdrop of war in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), which Vanessa, a young Australian journalist, felt drawn to witness while trying to understand her father who had been deeply traumatized by the American War in Vietnam.  What she found was the only Great Ape who doesn’t make war or kill their own species, the peace-through-pleasure-loving bonobo.

Vanessa Woods & Dr. Brian Hare go bonobos with baby bonobos!

I’d actually *discovered* bonobos myself over a decade and a half before reading Bonobo Handshake. The “make love not war” chimpanzees first seduced me from my TV back in 1993, then “through the looking glass” at the San Diego Zoo.

How could a socialist feminist sexologist like me resist a pansexual species (their Latin name is even Pan paniscus) who looks—and is—so close to human (only cuter) and has sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions (including face-to-face) with partners of all genders?

Lana & Me at the San Diego Zoo, 2004

Later on, I learned about how bonobos empower the females, cherish the males, honor the babies, share the resources, welcome strangers, mix lust with trust, and never kill each other.

And we thought we were the smartest apes.

Back then, I assumed that everyone would fall in love with bonobos, as Capt’n Max and I had, and that bonobos would become *the next big thing.*

Boy, was I wrong! I guess I underestimated how erotophobic the American mainstream media (MSM) and academia could be.

Two decades later, thanks in part to Bonobo Handshake, the puritanical press has cautiously begun to open up to our kissing cousins who swing through the trees as well as with each other.

Unlike me, Vanessa was—and is—as sweet and wholesome as apple pie (Aussie-style). But unlike so many prudish primatologists, she wasn’t afraid to talk about bonobo sex. She also wasn’t too busy to answer my numerous silly bonobo questions.

However, sex (which Brian and Vanessa confess to having had at least twice) sometimes leads to babies, and they had two, so Vanessa got quite busy over the next few years, at which point, Brian—despite being an in-demand biological anthropologist, mediagenic science superstar and busy father—began to answer my questions. Over the years, Brian has patiently helped me to understand new bonobo research, and even commiserated when Dawn of Planet of the Apes misleadingly called its most vicious ape character (Koba) a “bonobo.”

Both Dr. Brian and Vanessa have worked with distinguished anthropologist, Dr. Richard Wrangham, who has a place of honor in Bonoboville, being one of the first scientists to talk about bonobos on The Dr. Susan Block Show, when he wrote Demonic Males (1996). Harvard legend has it that our interview almost cost him his tenure.

Hopefully, Dr. Brian and Vanessa won’t be penalized by academia or the MSM for their DrSuzy.Tv appearance promoting Survival of the Friendliest, the second book they’ve written together. Yes, this couple is so “fit”—besides their two kids and two big jobs— they write books together. Talk about cooperating under pressure! Plus, they look adorable together, even when zooming in from two different locales.

“When you have sex,” I can’t help but wonder to myself out loud, “Do you say, ‘Now the Hare is in the Woods!’?”

Terrible joke, of course, but they laugh uproariously at it, friendly folks that they are.

Their first book together was called The Genius of Dogs: How Dogs Are Smarter Than You Think, and this current collaboration has that genius title, Survival of the Friendliest. Its premise is that Darwin’s famous maxim is one of the most “misconstrued” phrases in the history of science. “Survival of the Fittest” is the ability to survive and reproduce, nothing more, nor less.

“Survival of the Friendliest” – it’s our best hope for humanity! Video Still

But what gave us this evolutionary superpower (well, “super” until lately)? After humans split from chimps and bonobos 6-9 million years ago, we Homo Sapiens shared the planet with other humans (yes, though they may not have made it into the Bible, there were other humans), such as Homo Erectus and Neanderthals. While those other human species went extinct, we Homo Sapiens survived and thrived thanks to our greater ability to communicate, cooperate, collaborate, cohabitate and commune. Neanderthals were bigger and stronger than us, and with their larger brains, they may have been smarter as well. But our greater skill in socializing (etymologically and intimately connected to socialism), aka “cooperative communication,” led to denser groups, better tools, greater expansion… and eventually to human agriculture, technology, slavery, war, devastating environmental destruction and the battered world we live in today.

But wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves—and not in a good way. Let’s get back to the good in humanity. It’s in there somewhere!

Hare and Woods know where: “Cooperation is key to our survival as a species,” they explain, “because it increases our evolutionary fitness.”

It’s also a more natural, fun, equalizing, less stressful way for most of us to live, whether we choose to have 12 kids or be child-free (like me!), i.e., even if we’re not so “fit” in the procreational sense.

Vanessa plays ball with a friend at Lola ya Bonobo.

Fit or unfit, cooperation is much better than competition, especially for our *mental health.*

Okay, so if we affable Homo Sapiens are so damn cooperative, why are we always killing each other?

Just chatting with Brian and Vanessa certainly enhances my own mental health! Video Still

The other side of the evolution of human friendliness or “self-domestication,” say Hare and Woods, is dehumanization. We can be the most tolerant and loving species—to family, friends and to strangers that we *recognize* as friends. However, if we feel threatened, we can be the cruelest, most merciless animals on the planet, making war, genocide, slavery, torture, occupation and annihilation.

It’s funny, and very sad, how we so often use our best traits against ourselves. For instance, our very human ability to tell stories stimulates tremendous empathy, but it can also sway us to dehumanize whole groups of people, even if the story is just about one member of that group, and even if that story is later proven to be a lie.

Hare and Woods use the example of the Kuwaiti ambassador’s young daughter telling the U.S. Congress the story of Iraqi soldiers throwing Kuwaiti babies out of incubators and onto the floor in 1990. That was a total lie, but it was a big part of inciting the American public to support the First Gulf War, as well as the second, and the crippling sanctions in between.

So, the flip side of the very quality that keeps us survivin’ and thrivin’ could kill us all. Perhaps very soon.

Our race to the *top* of the capitalist heap is literally destroying the Earth. Individual billionaires put their greed ahead of the lives of billions of their fellow humans, as our hyper-competitive system puts “profits” ahead of conservation. Our nuclear bombs are poised in the direction of our neighbors, and theirs at us. Systemic racism tears us apart, microaggressions and major aggression continue, and our religious creeds just seem to deepen the divide.

But is the preeminence of that “flip side” so inevitable—as it seems to have been since the dawn of so-called civilization and certainly in the last few years? Probably it is, but maybe it’s not.

So, how do we as humans reverse our hell-bent momentum? How do we extend our talent for friendliness beyond our comrades to people who don’t look like *us* or agree with us, and even to the nonhuman animals our culture is decimating? How do we “expand our circle of trust”?

Throughout human history, various ideas and techniques have been put forth to stimulate human friendliness and reduce dehumanization. In other words, pump up the love and punch down that hate.

Sounds like a plan! However, as I’ve often observed, the best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. And most of these well-intentioned plans to get us to love one another, or at least act friendlier,  haven’t panned out so well.

“Human Dogs” engage in Jigsaw-Style play as their Handlers watch at Madame Margherites’s DomCon Pet Awards where Mistress Porcelain and I were judges. Photo: Jux Lii

But there’s one way that works! Apparently, the key to enhancing human friendliness is friendship itself.  “Social psychologists have found [that] becoming friends with someone from another group is one of the quickest ways to short-circuit that dehumanization,” say Hare and Woods.

But how do you create friendship out of animosity? Hare and Woods found that the only known method that really worked was the “Jigsaw” system whereby students or participants from different groups are brought together to accomplish a goal.

Sharing common objectives forces humans to cooperate because they depend on each other’s abilities and enthusiasm to get their jobs done, meet their goals, communicate effectively and collaborate productively.

Sounds very socialistic!

Politics aside, the Jigsaw Method encourages tolerance and kindness while discouraging cruelty and coldness. Best of all, this puzzle doesn’t *preach* the Credo of Friendliness, which can be annoying. Instead, it stimulates and rewards friendliness organically.

Wonder what a Jigsaw Orgy might be like—oops, there goes my dirty mind again. Back to saving the planet through friendliness…

Can Friendliness Save Us? Video Still

How do we do that?

We humans can learn a lot about friendliness from other species who are, in some ways, even friendlier than we are—especially nowadays as our hyper-competitive culture takes us further and further away from our friendly primate origins.

Brian, Vanessa and Dogs.

Consider, for instance, that furbaby that very well might be snuggled up to you right now or barking at your door asking you to come out and play.

How did these four-legged creatures become our “best friends”?

Hare and Woods are dog-ologists. The technical term is cynologist, though hardly anybody uses that, certainly not Hare and Woods, aka Brian and Vanessa (it seems strange to call them “Hare and Woods” when talking about bowwows), though both have spent a lot of time around canines, especially Brian.

Romulus and Remus, the twin founders of Rome, were said to have been raised by the Luper (She-Wolf), close cousin of Dogs.

Just as Lupercalian legend has it that Romulus and Remus were raised by a Wolf, aka the Luper, Brian was raised by a Labrador retriever named Oreo.

Dogs play a big role in this part of our interview. At one point, an eight-year-old golden lab mix named Congo (a retired service dog from Canine Companions for Independence) enters Brian’s Zoom frame for a moment of lap time, then departs for other amusements.

Chico meets Congo in Cyberspace. Video Still

Later, Chico, Bonoboville’s beloved year-old Pomeranian puppy-in-residence, sits on my lap like the proverbial “good dog”—as long as I’m providing peanut butter and petting.

These dogs of ours are the canine kings of their human-made castles.

Indeed, the longstanding inter-species friendship between dogs and humans is almost as intimate and mutually beneficial as that between flowers and bees, and our canine friends often get the better end of the human/dog deal.  People used to assume that domestication makes animals unintelligent, but really dogs are so smart, they manage to manipulate us humans into taking almost complete care of their every need. It’s amazing what we do for our doggies—and we don’t even eat them!

Chico the Friendly Wolf. Photo: Unscene Abe

One reason we humans love our mutts so much is that we feel we can control them in ways that we can’t control each other. But aren’t they the ones controlling us?

The “genius of dogs,” to use the title of Vanessa and Brian’s first book together, is that they have learned to speak our language, usually with greater comprehension and sensitivity than we can speak theirs.

Of course, most pet pooches couldn’t survive in the wild any better than most humans, but they don’t have to. Compare the dog population throughout the world with their wild cousins, the beautiful wolves, who are, most unfortunately, highly endangered. Wolves tend to be very much afraid of humans—often with good reason!

Save the wolves!

Conventional wisdom was that prehistoric homo sapiens domesticated wolves into dogs. But really, humans weren’t (and still aren’t) that clever. In fact, almost the reverse appears to have been true, and it all comes down to garbage.

In Survival of the Friendliest, Brian and Vanessa explain how, over millennia, the friendliest wolves domesticated themselves and became even friendlier in order to get closer and closer to prehistoric humans and our delicious, nutritious trash. The wolves who were least afraid of us two-legged creatures came closest, got the most to eat and, eventually, these friendly wolves with no fear of humans became our beloved pet doggies.

Canine self-domestication has essentially involved befriending love-starved humans who then provide food, shelter and squeaky toys.

Some dog breeds actually work for their care, perhaps guarding, hunting, herding, searching, fetching or providing seeing-eye services for the blind (now that’s friendly).

These days, most pet dogs, like Chico, don’t have to do anything more than act friendly.

Chico looks like the Disney version of a wolf cub. However, he did reveal his sensitive side when he found a mortally wounded parrot in our garden a few days after our interview.

Chico inspects Lori the wounded parrot he found in Bonoboville Gardens. Photo: Author

You might think this eager carnivore would pounce on the dying bird, but he just barked until *his* humans rescued the parrot whom we named Lori. Ultimately, the parrot passed on, but we turned Bonoboville into an avian hospice for those last few days of life, sending him off to the next dimension with love, thanks to Chico and his humans.

Would it benefit us to be more like our dogs? Definitely, in some ways, like loyalty, tolerance, shame-free affection, judgment-free love and, of course, friendliness.

Some animal play fetishists actually want to *be* dogs. Madame Marguerite’s Animal Play Awards are always one of DomCon’s highest attended events; human pooches—in furry costumes, leather ears and tails that vibrate as they wag—do tricks for doggie treats, incorporating the Jigsaw Method of cooperation and ravenously lapping up affection with love.

Why would a human want to be a dog? Various reasons, but for one, so many people treat their dogs better than their fellow humans; it’s a cliché. No wonder some humans fantasize about being their ideal owner’s beloved pup.

Pet dogs are the “house slaves” on the human plantation wherein most “domesticated” animals are raised to be eaten. Of course, most dogs aren’t forced to work like slaves; indeed, dogs are often pampered and provided for. Still, unlike their wild wolf cousins, they’re the “property” of the master and/or mistress of the house, and any moment could be sent into the proverbial “dog house” or otherwise abused by bad “owners.”

Prince Chico settles into his throne on my lap to listen to Brian and Vanessa expound upon “The Genius of Dogs.” Video Still

We humans love our dogs, but most of us (animal play fetishists aside) don’t want a “dog’s life” for ourselves.

Another species that is unusually friendly—and much closer to human, as opposed to being a pet for humans—is the bonobo.

Here’s something to hoot about, at least for me, as a sexologist: Bonobo sex is “Exhibit A” for great ape friendliness.

Bonobos are known for *sharing* a lot of good consensual sex, along with food and other resources. This, in and of itself, is a compelling form of cooperation.

Moreover, they go much further than that, as all that cooperative erotic activity appears to keep them from killing each other. Good consensual sex resources, sharing, gender egalitarianism and respect for the young all add up to what I call the bonobo way of peace through pleasure.

Dogs have survived and thrived for millennia by communicating well with people. Bonobos have survived and thrived for even more millennia by communicating well with each other.

Communication, anyone? Here we all are hooting like bonobos – though Chico is yawning. Video Still

Interestingly, bonobos are not as good at communicating with humans as dogs are—at least not on Brian and Vanessa’s tests—maybe, in part, because they’re not as motivated to follow our orders or even understand what we’re saying as are our beloved and utterly dependent pet puppies.

But bonobos’ extraordinary friendliness towards each other—and seeming lack of that “flip side” of human kindness that can make us so cruel—is what makes bonobo culture worthy of human study and even emulation (with caveats), especially in these extremely unfriendly times.

In contrast, Brian and Vanessa, who have worked with common chimpanzees as well as bonobos, describe common chimp life as a cycle of violence, competition, infanticide and subjugation of the female. Many lower status chimps are beaten, abused and even murdered, but at least life is good for the alpha male, right? Not really. “It’s incredibly costly to be dominant,” write Brian and Vanessa. Competition is stressful, even when you *win.*

In Our Inner Ape, Dr. Frans de Waal (who quotes The Bonobo Way in The Bonobo & the Atheist) posits that we humans have a bonobo side that makes love and not war, and a common chimpanzee side that loves to make war. For the past few thousand years, to our great destruction and that of many other species—and all for the supposed benefit of an oligarchical few at the top—we’ve emphasized our common chimp side.

But there is another way.

In contrast with their raging common chimp cousins, bonobos are peaceful, sex-positive, gender-egalitarian and very respectful of babies. Brian is excited to share some recent findings from Wamba with us that observed female bonobos adopting orphaned babies (sadly, often the mothers are killed by bushmeat poachers, leaving too many motherless infants) and raising them as their own. Vanessa and Brian call the female-empowered bonobos “baby dominant,” in contrast with all other patriarchal Great Apes who practice infanticide, in addition to raping and forcefully subjugating the females.

Boho the Baby Bonobo Puppet comes out to play when Brian and Vanessa talk about the power of baby bonobos. Video Still

This is especially remarkable when you consider that, just like common chimps and all the other Great Apes, male bonobos are bigger than the females. But thanks to their food and resource abundance, bonobo females are able to form strong coalitions, so that single females are rarely caught alone with the males.  To a great degree, bonobo love is based on Girlfriend Power.

Common chimp females are only nice to their close relatives and leave the other ladies out in the cold—or to be raped and abused by rapacious males. Bonobo females are friendly with all the other females, including the newcomers. Their “female solidarity” protects each other. It’s the ultimate sisterhood, even though most of the females in any given bonobo tribe aren’t blood-related sisters. They’re just real got-your-back girlfriends.

But that doesn’t make this some kind of Amazon society with no males. No, bonobo gals love bonobo guys, especially the “good boys,” the ones who are friendly, easy-going, generous, helpful, cute, sensuous and sexy.

In other words, when it comes to getting laid, friendliness pays.

Nice guys finish first in Bonoboville!  Wouldn’t it be great if they did in Humanville?

A baby bonobo gets friendly with Vanessa at Lola ya Bonobo

Maybe the Military Industrial-Complex, the politicians, the MSM, the WWE and the bullies don’t think so, but I certainly do.  “Be Bonobo-Friendly” is, after all, the 9th step of the 12 Steps to Releasing Your Inner Bonobo.

In fact, say Brian and Vanessa, bonobo females’ sexual selection for male friendliness is key to bonobo self-domestication. Recent studies show that the most reproductively successful male bonobos father more offspring than the most successful alpha male chimps. Nice guys get laid more in Bonoboville.

“The mechanism we think that played a role is sexual selection,” Brian explains in our interview, “that females had more food and that allowed them to have friendships so they could protect their babies in a way that chimpanzee females can’t, and it empowered them—exactly as you said—and they could then have a preference for friendlier males. And females prefer friendlier males.”

One of the qualities that give these “friendly” males the edge in the bonobo dating game, besides being nice, cute, peaceful, social and sexy, is having a cool mom. Yes, bonobos are “mama’s boys,” and the most popular bonobo males tend to have the most powerful yet nurturing mothers.

Bonobos are the Make-Love-Not-War Great Apes. Photo: Vanessa Woods

MILFs Rule Bonoboville!

According to Dr. Wrangham, bonobos maintain their amazing peace-through-pleasure lifestyle in part because their natural habitat in the DRC Rainforest (the second largest in the world) has long been a real-life jungle paradise of plentiful, varied food and not many predators.

With Lola ya Bonobo founder and director Claudine André. Photo: Rob McKenzie

Interestingly, we humans would also have plenty of food for all if we shared our earthly resources just a little more equitably. Maybe we need to get Elon Musk and Bill Gates—two billionaires who claim to adore the egalitarian bonobos—to play the Jigsaw game with some houseless people.

Speaking of famous bonobo-curious humans, you may have seen the 2014 footage of Anderson Cooper visiting Lola ya Bonobo, bonobo savior Claudine André’s sanctuary outside Kinshasa that rescues bonobo orphans from the devastating bushmeat trade.

Dr. Brian was there to help, as he relayed on Sex at Dawn and Civilized to Death author Dr. Christopher Ryan’s Tangentially Speaking show. Side note: In 2010, Vanessa, Queen of Friendliness, also introduced me to the visionary Dr. Chris.

With “Sex at Dawn” and “Civilized to Death” author and “Tangentially Speaking” Host Dr. Christopher Ryan. Photo: Vlady Cee

Back to Anderson who, like me and everybody else who hears about bonobos, was interested in seeing them have sex.

Serious scientist that he is, Brian told Anderson, “I promise bonobo sexuality is not the most interesting thing about them…. What’s more remarkable is that they don’t kill each other.”

Can’t argue with that. Even for a sex-obsessed sexologist like me, sex is not as important as life itself.

But why don’t bonobos—especially bonobo males—kill each other?

At least in part, it’s because they get laid—by hot experienced Cougars (older females), exciting young newcomers and by each other. All that sex just cools them out.

Bonobos utilize sex for a lot of different purposes, as a bonding mechanism, to negotiate, to break up fights (make-up sex), support political connections, calm anxiety (bonobos often get anxious), heal suffering, strengthen friendships, enhance social status and accompany meals, just to name a few.

Anderson Cooper mind-melds with a bonobo at Lola ya Bonobo.

Of course, humans also engage in sexual activity for a variety of reasons, but perhaps due to our pervasive shame, less effectively than bonobos.

“Bonobos have a mechanism to diffuse tension,” says Vanessa, “and I think that’s what we really need.”

The bonobos’ method of diffusing tension via erotic activity shouldn’t be our blueprint, of course, but it can serve as inspiration.

When we talk about “bonobo sex,” we don’t always mean sexual intercourse. In fact, we mostly mean what some consider foreplay or what I call “sexual outercourse.”

“The official scientific term for it is socio-sexual behavior,” says Vanessa.

“I like outercourse better, sorry,” her loving hubby retorts.

Whatever term you choose, it involves a lot of rubbing, aka “frottage” or massage. That’s another thing bonobos and dogs have in common. They both love to be rubbed. But bonobos also love to give the rub down, and they appear to cultivate great skills in this regard.

Bonobos are tantric masseuses for each other, reducing stress and releasing oxytocin with each squeeze and caress. Should we humans be giving and receiving more massages for the sake of our mental and physical health—and even for the health of our planet?

Yes, but—and this is a BiG BUT that’s hard to get around (in more ways than one)—touch is so touchy these days.

For many reasons—from the continuing effects of the Coronapocalypse to the #MeToo movement and fears of increasing violence—we’re less inclined to get close in modern times. You could say, we’re losing touch with touch, even with those we love, let alone those strangers who could become friends.

This brings us back to that “flip side” of friendliness for humans, that cruelty to the “outsider,” even though they’re human too. Do bonobos even have a flip side? Unlike common chimps who hoard food for themselves, bonobos love to share. The only thing bonobos seem to enjoy more than sharing food and sex with friends is sharing food and sex with strangers. When given a choice for a dinner date, bonobos will often choose the stranger over the friend.

Bonoboville Crew: Ana, Mariah, Harry Sapien & the Big Banana, Dragon Steele Bonobo Plushie Family, Me & Chico, Capt’n Max, Dr. Bonobo, His Master’s Voice. Photo: Unscene Abe

Does that sound odd? Or can you relate? We humans may have an innate preference for those we perceive to be “like us,” and this makes us potentially racist and narrow-minded.  However, we also seem to harbor, like our bonobo cousins, an innate attraction to the strange, the new, the exotic; it excites us.

Yes, Dr. Brian agrees, “the exotic is erotic.”

Perhaps it’s part of what Dr. De Waal calls our “bonobo side,” our attraction to strangers, our desire for erotic (as opposed to military) adventures, our urge to mix our genes with someone outside the family circle, our yearning to reach out and touch someone different.

In service of the powerful, our anthropocene systems have long supported the part of us that prefers people “like us,” and tried mightily to suppress the part of us that is attracted to people who are not “like us,” propagating the belief that natural arousal and the desire for something or someone *different* is doomed to be a fatal attraction.

So, perhaps it’s our loving worried parents, our hypocritical religion, our xenophobic nation and our erotophobic, capitalist, competitive culture that pump our fear of strangers, forcing the “flip side” of human friendliness, our cruelty to outsiders, to predominate for millennia. And this is why there’s hope that we can turn it around.

Yes, Vanessa asserts, “there is hope.”

A #GoBonobos Good-Bye to One of the World’s Greatest Couples. Video Still

“Bonobos hold the key to a world without war,” says Survival of the Friendliest. It’s a key that we humans may have lost when we discovered the wonders of farming and property ownership (stuff to fight over). It’s a key that we lost when we traded the meaningful joys of sharing sensual pleasure for the unsatisfying rewards of accumulating material wealth.

Perhaps we can find that lost key again through more “jigsaw” methods of interacting, and through studying bonobo culture.

There are now many “Peace Studies” departments at colleges and universities. When I ask Brian and Vanessa if any study the way that bonobos make peace, they confess they don’t know of any.

I’m not saying that we all need to have sex to make peace, like bonobos do, but shouldn’t we acknowledge that bonobos make peace through sharing pleasures—and that some kind of erotic, positive exchange is a key to peace among primates like us?

Shouldn’t we be more pro-bonobo?

Which brings us to the complex question of simianization, i.e., comparing people to apes. Scientifically and realistically, we humans are great apes, though many humans don’t like to hear that. In the course of delivering The Bonobo Way, I’ve been accused of simianization that is blasphemous (by the Religious Right) and insensitive (by the Woke Left), for saying that we humans are apes. It’s funny, but some people would rather be compared to dogs than apes—as long as they’re Top Dogs.

Bonobos are so close to us… it’s uncanny! Photo: Vanessa Woods

Brian and Vanessa explain that human discomfort with simianization is partly because they fall into “the uncanny valley.” That is, the human perception of apes is that being “almost human” makes them too close for comfort. So, instead of eliciting affection and closeness, they can provoke disgust and fear. The history of human so-called civilization is also extremely problematic, to say the least; simianization of Africans gave Europeans an excuse to enslave them. Simianization of Jews gave Nazis an excuse to exterminate them. Simianization of Asians gave Americans an excuse to bomb them. And so on.

Lately, I feel torn between respecting people’s understandable discomfort and continuing to speak essential, albeit uneasy truths about our great ape nature that I believe could set us all free.

This is also what bonobo conservation is up against.

Unfortunately, people’s touchiness about great apes being *too close* to human for comfort just makes the already gargantuan task of saving the highly endangered bonobos from extinction even tougher.

It’s a pleasure to talk with Brian and Vanessa about these challenges (almost like therapy!) because they deeply understand.

They’re also both on the Board of Directors of Friends of Bonobos which supports Lola ya Bonobo (Bonobo Paradise), a very special bonobo “refugee” sanctuary outside Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo, operated for many years by the luminous, tireless and extraordinarily effective Claudine André.

“Orphans” of the devastating “bushmeat” trade are rescued and cared for at Lola, and eventually, if all goes well, they are released back into the wild. During the Coronapocalypse, Lola staff have been working around the clock to keep the bonobos well cared for and safe from COVID-19 and the Delta Variant, to which bonobos are just as susceptible as humans.

Our amazing kissing cousins need and deserve our support.  “You conserve what you love,” points out Vanessa. So, we have made it our business and pleasure to spread the bonobo love.  The challenges are immense, but if we can keep the bonobos alive, they just might show us the way to peace through pleasure… and friendliness!

Read “Survival of the Friendliest” on COUNTERPUNCH

Lovers of dogs, bonobos, humans and, especially, each other… what are this extraordinary couple’s “secrets” to marriage and writing success?

“Forgiveness,” shouts out Brian.

“Fast reconciliation,” chimes in Vanessa.

When the going gets tough—for couples, communities or countries—both are essential to friendliness.

Inspired by Vanessa and Brian, Max and I practice “Forgiveness” (there’s always something) & “Fast Reconciliation.” Photo: Selfie

© August 11, 2021. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For information and speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

Binders Full of Women: Tasia Sutor, Kinky Gaga, Eva Lin, Dr. Susan Block, Rebecca Bardoux, Brock Hard, Shay Golden (row 2) Master Liam, Chris, TS Foxxy, Skip, Isiah King James. Photo: JuxLii

Length: 110:39 minutes        Date: 10/20/2012

Check out the Free PGish Pix Page… X Pix and Video at DrSuzy.tv

Everybody’s talking about Mitt Romney’s “Binders Full of Women.”  On this show, we actually open up a few of these notorious binders, and all we can say is “Wow! Mitt Baby, we’re impressed.” Of course, the Big O(bama) actually put his muscle where his mouth is for women’s rights, having signed the Lilly Ledbetter Act, which removed the statute of limitations for filing complaints about unequal pay, among other female-friendly things.  But, as Mitt declared so forcefully in the second presidential debate, he also supports a woman’s right…to be sexy—in the bedroom, the boardroom and certainly, in binders of all kinds.

So, back here in the Womb Room, not only do we find Binders Full of Women, we find Binders Full of Porn Stars (filed away in Mitt’s locked drawer) AND Binders Full of T-Girls (kept in the closet, of course).  And we open them all up on this show, which starts as a discussion of how it feels to be in one of Mitt’s Binders, moves on to how to identify men by the taste of their semen (that should help undecided voters to make up their minds), how to give great head and enjoy anal sex, doing porn for passion versus money and then, with the help of some awesome toys (thank you, Sybian, Condomania and CalExotics!) and talented tongues, rolls into a rollicking binder-free orgy that oozes into the after-party like lube.

Featured Guests

Rebecca Bardoux: This is the legendary AVN Hall of Famer’s first time in the Womb Room, but not our first chat about sex.  That was back in 1996 when I interviewed her on Playboy TV for “Adult Stars Up Close.”  Rebecca is thrilled to be inside and even on the cover of one of Mitt Romney’s Binders Full of Women, though she cannot precisely identify the rather huge cock that she is sucking in the photo.  However she does acknowledge that she can identify a man by the taste of his semen, as well as measure the state of his health, and even perhaps his fitness to be President of the United States.  Being child-free, Rebecca prefers the moniker of “cougar” to MILF, and even has a Binder Full of Cubs (young men who like older women).  She recommends that cubs be confident about approaching mature women, since the ladies will most likely not approach them.  Amazingly, in her long career, Rebecca has never before ridden a Sybian, so I’m delighted to allow her to make her maiden voyage on ours.  Though she doesn’t ride it to climax, she gets a nice buzz, soaking her skimpy g-string panties for Panty Boy.  But her favorite toy is our CalExotics Phil Varone vibrating dong which she loves so much, we just have to let her take it home. Wonder if the real Phil Varone will be next in her Binder Full of Men.

Eva Lin:  When we first met Eva on our Myth of Sex Addiction show, she was a self-confessed “sex addict” and raven-haired beauty.  Now she’s an even more beautiful strawberry blonde in a tight corset dress which is, after all, a kind of “binder” and really shows off her DDs, though she—and the DDs–look even better when she takes it off.  Eva also happens to be a T-Girl, the kind that drives men who aren’t “into T-Girls” crazy because she is just so sweet, feminine and breathtakingly beautiful.  There is nothing remotely masculine about her, except for, well, that special “something extra” between her lovely legs.  She has a talented tongue which she applies generously to my nipples and Shay’s labia as the show moves along.  In the after-party, this beauty queen from the Philippines really opens up, allowing me the honor and pleasure of inserting the Peter Piper glass dildo into her perfectly clean smooth pink anus (which she had earlier called a “gaping hole”).  Needless to say, it was smoking hot!

TS Foxxy: Last seen on DrSuzy.tv on Shemale Rapture, this vivacious T-harlot with a full ass, DDs on top and adorable braces on her big toothy smile, claims not to have a very active sex life off camera.  But when she’s on, Foxxy is ON. Her wild side came out around the same time as the Agwa and the basket of CalExotics toys and Condomania condoms comes out.  She joyfully grabs a bright pink light-up vibrator and partners with her BFF Eva and Shay’s BF Brock to bring Shay to a resounding, binder-shattering orgasm.

Shay Golden:  On her third-in-row appearance on DrSuzy.tv, 21-year-old Shay is crowned pussy princess of our Binder Full of Women. Looking like a young, sexy Ann Romney gone “bad,” she strips off her sexy black binder/dress and pretty panties for Panty Boy, then lays back in pleasure as Foxxy, Eva and BF Brock go to work on her with their tongues and fingers and that pink CalExotics vibe. Then Dr. Susan Block Show producer and costume mistress Tasia Sutor, transforms her into a bunny with big white rabbit ears and a fluffy white cottontail on a butt plug that slips smoothly into her lovely ass, making it a “double penetration.” Ann Romney should only have it so good.

Brock Hard: Also his third week in a row (first was Show sNOw Mercy, then Stage Brother & The DTease), Shay’s BF confesses he has “never been so stoked to go to school” as he is for Saturday nights at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. He learns something new every time he’s here.  In this class, he gets a lesson in how his girlfriend looks in the arms of two incredibly beautiful shemales.  Apparently, he is a quick study because he jumps right in to “help,” neatly inserting the bunnytail butt plug into his GF’s anus.

Kitty Twinkletoes aka Kinky Gaga: A beloved regular on the Dr. Suzy show for the past few months, tonight Kitty is dressed in a secretarial outfit in preparation for her new job in criminal court where she will soon be carrying around Binders Full of Lawyers. Although she claims to be immune to the Sybian’s orgasmic powers, it takes about thirty seconds before she is squirting in orgasmic pleasure, a new personal record for her. And her spurt is particularly perky.

Callers & Audience: Caller 1, Imtiaz, did his homework on Rebecca Bardoux, reading her Facebook and blogs, and he asks her about the changes she’s seen in the adult industry over the last 20 years, to which she replies that she misses the story lines and she feels there is a lot less passion in the industry. Caller 2, Chris, is enthralled with Eva Lin’s exotic beauty (who isn’t?).  He asks her how he can ask her out on a date, to which she coquettishly replies, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

My Womb Room studio audience—a veritable Binder Full of Hotties—also includes that rather reluctant international celebrity whom we are not naming to protect her much beleaguered privacy, though other less principled publications have named her, and perhaps soon she will feel comfortable enough to come out of hiding and back onto DrSuzy.tv.  We’ll certainly keep you posted, darling reader.

Weapons of Mass Discussion: Binders Full of Women, The Presidential Debates, Binders Full of MILFs, Binders Full of Porn Stars, Binders Full of T-Girl’s, Mitt’s Girlz, Women’s Rights, Democrats & Republicans, Children of Sex, MiLFs & Cougars, What the Taste of Semen Says About a Man’s Health, How to Seduce a Cougar, Cubs and Cougars, The Changing Adult Industry Over the Last 20 Years, Anal Sex vs. Vaginal Sex, What Makes a Cub, Is Porn Bad, T-Girls & Sybian, Anal Education, Squirting as Holy Water, Blow Jobs with Braces, Cockiness in Bed, Passion and Sexual Performance, The Presidential Debate, Semen Tasting, Tranny on Girl Action vs Tranny on Guy Action, Sex & Aging, High & Low Sex Drives, Drinking Responsibly, Keeping the Bonobos Alive

Performance Erotica: Stripping, Sybian Rides, Squirting, Double Penetration, Sucking the CalExotics Phil Varone Vibrating Dong, Pussy-Slapping, Hair-Pulling, Dildo Squirt Guns, Wet Silky Panties, Putting a Condomania Condom On By Mouth, Agwa Salty Nipple Licking Ritual, Taking Sybian Virginity, Vibrator Play, Cunnilingus, Bunny Tail Butt Plug with Matching Bunny Ears, Rickshaw Rides, Domination, Whipping, Hot Anal Play in the After-Party

Thanks Eric Carrillo and Mia Pruitt for editorial assistance with this show blog, and multiple thanks, kudos and orgasms to the Dr. Susan Block Institute Staff here in BonoboVille for making this show possible.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

https://drsusanblock.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/13/20161203_splosh_n_art_edit.mp4

WATCH DR. SUZY talk about SPLOSH in the NEW YORK POST

by Dr. Susan Block

With a splosh of whipped cream and a squirt of raw cuisine, a pie in the butt and a tsunami of goo, this show takes the cake, the croissant and the marshmallow fluff, bringing the art, enjoyment and fetish of “sploshing” to bonoboësque heights of sweet messy delight. We also digress from the culinary mayhem into sapiosexual discourses on the meaning of food, sex and “messiness” in our civilized lives, as well as totally non-splosh-related dialogues about the fine art of photography, grooving to live music, some riveting spoken-word, politics-as-unusual on the edge of the Trumpocalypse and a call for all to “heal the homeless,” as the homeless help us with our own healing during this queasy, uneasy holiday season.

Don’t Play With Your Food!

As always, a full menu of sex, fun and wisdom gets stirred up in this show, but splosh is certainly the main course. Just in case you don’t know, sploshing is “erotic food play.” Sploshers spray, drip, rub, mush or cover each other in foods of different flavors and textures. It can involve BDSM—50 Shades of Splosh!—wherein sploshers dominate sploshees (with their consent, of course), play-forcing them to eat unappetizing combos like hot peppers and ice cream or raw eggs and granola, pouring buckets of spaghetti on their heads, sticking cucumbers (nature’s own dildos!) or even handfuls of Hershey’s kisses into their orifices, allowing sploshees to safely feel weird, tickled, humiliated and turned on.

Pie in the Butt. Photo: Jux Lii

In other cases, like much of this show, it might be more of a free-for-all Splosh Party, a food and sex orgy where people smear food all over each other and lick it off lingams or out of yonis (“eating while eating”). It could be dignified and elegant, like eating sushi off of a naked body, or sweetly silly like giving a candy-coated blowjob.  A birthday sploshing party might involve sitting on your own birthday cake and letting your friends gobble it up off your butt.

Some of us create *splosh art,* enjoying the somewhat exhibitionistic performance of sploshing for our *audience* (inside the Womb Room or out in cyberspace). We document, videotape and photograph our explorations for the benefit of splosh art connoisseurs, voyeurs and fetishists and just everyday people that go “Wow! I wish I could do that,” or (just as compelling), “Yuch! I’d never do that!” Indeed, one person’s idea of “erotic” is another’s idea of “disgusting.” The “Yuch Factor” is an important aspect of sploshing, even for those of us who love it. Yes indeed, sometimes that which grosses us out also arouses us… in the right context, of course.

Naughty Food Play. Photo: L’Erotique

Splosh psychology all goes back to Mom, or maybe Dad or whatever authority figure almost undoubtedly reprimanded you, as soon as you were old enough to eat:

“Don’t play with your food!”  

I’m sure you did it anyway. Babies and toddlers love to play with food, often even more than eating it. But it does make a mess which someone (other than you) has to clean up, so parents teach you not to play with your food, every day at breakfast and every evening at the dinner table. You learn that if you continue to play with your food and make messes, you will never be invited to dine at the distinguished table of adulthood. Thus you are trained to use forks, spoons, plates and napkins for the good of both your long-suffering parents and human civilization, and so you learn to repress this basic desire to play with your food. Playing with food, one of the simplest, most basic aspects of our animal nature, becomes intensely taboo.

PHOTO 1: RICK MENDOZA. PHOTO 2: L’EROTIQUE. PHOTO 3: ZANE BONO

That’s what makes SPLOSH so deliciously transgressive. So naughty. And so nice. You are not supposed to play with your food. But you do when you splosh, and it’s awesome.

Sploshing While Kissing! Photo: IDEO

Wizard of WIZNU

Before we whip up my Womb Room into a chaotic erotic food frenzy, we chat with some of our exciting and talented special guests.

Michael Wisnieux shows his iconic shot of Janet Jackson. Photo: IDEO

Call it an appetizer. First up on my broadcast bed is master photographer and and WIZNU Studio + Gallery director Michael Wisnieux, last seen on DrSuzy.Tv with the inspirational bonoboësque peace collective Tamera (shout-out to Sabine Lichtenfeld and Benjamin von Mendelsohnn, as well as Ecosexuality Co-Editor Dr. SerenaGaia). Michael has been mounting some great art shows at WIZNU, including a smash hit featuring our friend, the amazing Abby Martin.

PHOTOS 1, 2, 3 & 4: ZANE BONO.  PHOTO 5: RICK MENDOZA

Joining Michael is WIZNU’s associate director and Citizen LA photo editor Rick Mendoza (shout out to George Stiehl for a great article on Bonoboville), and sultry singer Jiin Christou. Later, Jiin croons some of her sexy, ethereal and trance-danceable music for us.

PHOTOS 1 & 2: ZANE BONO.  PHOTO 3 & 4: RICK MENDOZA

Michael also shares some of his fine art photography of celebrities, David Bowie, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Janet Jackson, all available in Saatchi gallery. Everyone with a phone is a photographer these days, but Michael’s a “master” of the trade, and he invites those interested in enhancing their photographic skills to join him for a mini master class this Thursday in conjunction with the DTLA Artwalk and his major master class this Saturday (if you miss them, stay in touch with WIZNU, and there’s bound to be another). Michael, still the compassionate Catholic boy he was raised to be in the sense of caring for those less fortunate, is also spearheading a Heal the Homeless of Downtown LA project with “homeless celebrity” Ted Hayes and many more. Props for that! Let us all “heal the homeless” as we allow “them” to “heal” us of the hypocritical burden our spirits undertake when we pretend that we can “own” a piece of the Earth. Let us give each other shelter from the storm.

Jiin Christou & the Mud Pie Tribe on Bonoboville. Photo: Zane Bono

 Speaking of the “storm”… of splosh, Michael keeps his kilt clean and stays out of squirting range, though Rick takes some nice shots and Jiin sings from the scene like a goddess among the mud pie people.

The Monkey and Madame

Next up on the bed is sleek and charming roleplay and fetish specialist Madame Margherite with her adorable “Monkey“ (Andres Rey Solorzano), arranged by Paniscus Brecht, who will be writing an interview for Dirge Magazine (coming on the show next Saturday!). Madame is gearing up for a Fetish Elite Toy Drive animal roleplay party raising money for Toys for Tots. She will host the event in character as Viking Queen Schosha, supervising feasts, games and “pet” wrestling matches. Apparently, her sweet Monkey is going to be pitted against a ravenous hyena, and we wish him luck. Perhaps, like bonobos, after they battle they’ll have great make-up sex.

Madame Margherite & Her Monkey visit Bonoboville. Photo: IDEO

We talk about how “releasing your inner animal,” whether that be bonobo, monkey or hyena, is a key to human happiness that most humans repress, kind of like the messy food instinct.  If you want to release your inner animal in a safe and loving way, contact Madame Margherite, and she just might put her leash on you.

PHOTOS 1 & 2: ZANE BONO.  PHOTO 3: SELFIE.  PHOTO 4: RICK MENDOZA

Later, during the sploshing, Madame and her Monkey join in as the mischievous monkey throws “poop” at Madame—as well as me! Fortunately, this Monkey’s “poop” is chocolate pudding. If only we all pooped chocolate pudding, none of us would be toilet-trained!

Smokin’ Spoken Words

Our final chat before the food storm is with spoken word artist and weed advocate Imani Cupe who ascends the bed and smokes a blunt.

Imani in Bonoboville. Photo: Zane Bono

Raised Baptist by a very anti-marijuana mom, this Cannabis Queen didn’t take a toke until she was 21. She’s been toking ever since in a way that makes smoking a spiritual practice for this statuesque beauty with amazing braids.

Towards the end of the show, Imani delivers a Spoken Word performance of a piece called “Nomenclature” (author unknown) that mesmerizes Bonoboville with her forceful articulation and sheer dynamic presence.

Splosh Time

Then it’s Splosh Time in Bonoboville! Pillows and jackets are removed, and chairs are Saran-wrapped for their own protection. The sploshees assemble: My lovely and brave assistant, Gypsy Bonobo, and pansensual newlyweds, world-renowned actress Daniele Watts and raw foods revolutionary Chef Be*LIVE. All three are relatively new therapists with the Block Institute, which might give the impression that this sploshing is some bizarre initiation rite that makes my alma mater Yale’s secret society hazings look tame in comparison.

PHOTOS 1, 2 & 4: IDEO  PHOTO 3: RICK MENDOZA  PHOTO 5: JUX LII

Actually, I got the idea from the NY Post, which just interviewed me about the sploshing fetish (video coming soon), inspiring me to don my chef’s cap, my protective latex Abigail Greydanus frock that I wore when delivered The Bonobo Way to DomCon LA. Gypsy lubes me up with Astroglide between scenes.

Sprinkler the Splosh Babies. Photo: L’Erotique

Then I mix up this food storm of raw foods, courtesy of rawkstar Chef Be*Live, and junk foods… courtesy of Uncle Ralph. We’ve got quite a diverse bill of fare but, like most DrSuzy.Tv shows—or maybe a bit more than most—what comes out of the kitchen is a lot more than what’s on the menu. Playing with food releases the “inner child” in all of us and a bit of our inner animal too. Most of it is delicious, but some of it… well, you could say it just pushes the limits of “good taste” in more ways than one.  When you play with what is “supposed” to be consumed, you get dirty, not with dirt itself, but with food which would make your momma say “Stop playing with your food!”  And that is just so much sloppy, sploshy, transgressive fun!

PHOTOS 1 & 3: ZANE BONO. PHOTO 2: RICK MENDOZA.  PHOTO 4: L’EROTIQUE. PHOTO 5: JUX LII

Food & Sex

Our needs for food and sex are two of our most basic animal drives. Almost everyone likes both food and sex; usually separately, but still, they are common pleasures. In a very controlled civilized way, we combine food and sex when we share a romantic dinner with kisses in between courses, when we feed each other grapes, or when we use a little whipped cream or honey to make oral sex tastier.

It’s not just a human thing either; bonobos love to combine food and sex. Check out Step 5 in the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo in The Bonobo Way: Combine Food & Sex, and you’ll see how they do it. Although the gustatory speed at which bonobos combine food and sex might give most humans indigestion.

Banana Built for Two. Photo: Zane Bono

Nevertheless, food and sex are more than just basic drives; they are two of the most vital and delectable elements of life for humans and other animals, as well as two of the richest representations of love. We humans often use food and sex as carnal metaphors for love. After all, love is pretty abstract. You can feel love in your heart… or is it all in your head? But you can’t hold love in your arms or savor it in your mouth. This is where chocolate kisses, hot buttered buns, sweet creamy pies and big hard cucumbers come in. Food and sex bring love to life. Recipes and positions vary, but the basic needs hold true.

Faux Cannibalism

Our intimate, sometimes confused food-and-sex associations have their roots in the beginnings of life itself. As Drs. Lynn Margulis and Dorion Sagan suggest in Origins of Sex: Three Billion Years of Genetic Recombination, the first “meiotic” sex acts were a kind of cannibalism on the cellular level. Consuming led to reproducing, which led to more consuming, and here we are now, reenacting that primal cellular scene, eating each other up with love.

Indeed, when you eat something off of, or out of someone, you get to revel in the faux cannibalism of oral carnality that lies deep within our genes, as well as our jeans. We get into a fair amount of oral carnality in this sploshing, which is why we stick mostly with sweet foods—from raw to junk—foregoing the hot peppers and raw eggs of other, more punitive forms of sploshing.

Jackson Pollock of Splosh. Photo: Zane Bono

Squirting Chef Be*Live’s rainbow pallet of goops on the canvases of these beautiful bodies, I feel like the Jackson Pollack of Splosh.

Sploshing Trump & Thank You HBO

And yes, of course, we splosh Trump! How could we not? Other media people are twisting their morals into pretzels trying to give this Big Baby who plays with people’s lives (not just with a little food), and is about to become Pie-Thrower-in-Chief a “chance.”

Sploshing Trump. Photo: L’Erotique

Trump supporters are bloated and drunk on “winning,” flying their Confederate flags, holding high-profile neo-Nazi (aka alt-right) meetings, harassing minorities and scrawling racist, sexist, homophobic bile on churches and high school walls. Meanwhile, we “losers” are stabbing ourselves and each other with our own safety pins of solidarity, trying to figure out what went wrong, what the hell to do now and which news is “fake news.”

Showing Trump that Black Sauce Matters. Photo: Rick Mendoza

So, for the sake of healing our own still-throbbing Trumpocalypse trauma (which is likely to get worse before it realistically gets better), we splosh Donald Trump! We also express a hazy but passionate hope that we can somehow help the amoral, royally narcissistic and desperately love-needy Donny-Boy to ‘go bonobos.” Maybe we can even turn him into a more compassionate, aware, sexually satisfied and inclusive being… with a good sploshing.

We do realize that this hope is quite absurd, but so is a world in which a big baby, pussy-grabbing, mad-tweeting con-artist who doesn’t even really want the job, would get “elected” President of the United States. So a sploshing we go, Trump in tow! With a touch of mild “humiliation splosh” and a lot of sticky love, we turn the Trumpster into a Dumpster.

Trumpster the Dumpster’s Sp;losh Rally. Photo: Janzarson Deleon

Apparently, our efforts pay off because by the climax of his sploshing, Trumpty Dumpty has a great fall…and turns into awesome rawkstar Chef Be*Live: a dramatic transformation for the good of all! This includes Trump himself. You’d think sploshing might be fattening, but it actually causes the Trumpster to dump at least 100 pounds (though his hands get bigger!). Now if only he would dump his personal investments in the Dakota Pipeline and make Energy Transfer Partners get off the reservation….

Speaking of erotic politics, thank you HBO for rerunning our most political HBO piece, “Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy” on Real Sex 25, when we celebrated the historic moment that another U.S. President “got a blowjob without losing his day job.”

Sploshgasms

You could say our Trump surrogate has a “sploshgasm,” an orgasm while sploshing. Sploshgasms take different forms. The sploshee might be brought to orgasm by the splosher’s hand or tongue as well as the food itself, perhaps some whipped cream or sensuous peanut butter which acts as a lubricant or stimulant, in addition to tasting yumilicious. Oblong fruits and vegetables, such as squash and bananas, may be used as sex toys; back to the organic miracle of “nature’s own dildos.” Unfortunately, nature doesn’t make vibrators. And no, you should not stuff a live hummingbird down your lover’s panties—that’s not splosh, nor is it animal play; that’s animal abuse. Though you can use a regular vibrator or just have sex or masturbate while sploshing, and have yourself a sploshgasm. Just make sure you don’t get molasses in your battery pack.

Sploshgasm! Photo: Zane Bono

Sometimes a sploshgasm isn’t a real physical orgasm for the sploshee, so much as a visual metaphor for orgasm, as in spraying cream in someone’s mouth or all over his or her chest (with the right boob-splosh, it could look like lactating or a pearl-necklace, depending on your pleasure), or dribbling coconut milk over a nice round bottom. This is especially satisfying for the splosh voyeur, because the milk looks like a fantasy ejaculation which may well stimulate a real ejaculation in the happy splosh voyeur.

First, we do some clothed sploshing, as per the requirements of the New York Post, but eventually, my sploshees lose their bikinis and briefs, sploshing the night away, and dance tribal-style, as Ikkor the Wolf raps “She Bad,” and the music of the spheres plays on, as the delicious mud people trance-boogie to the beat, high on naughty food play.

Ikkor the Wolf in Sploshland. Photo: IDEO

From Splosh to The Doctors!

Before and during the sploshing, we talk about being on THE DOCTORS because our segment will air THIS Wednesday, Dec. 7th. Set your DVRs to the CBS-Tv station near you…  Drs. Travis Stork, Nita Landry & Andrew Ordon interview me about Erotic Hypnotherapy & Erotic Hypnosis, and they also talk with Daniele & Chef Be*Live about their experience under hypnosis with me… If you’d like to experience Erotic Hypnotherapy, call the Institute at 213-291-9497. If you’d like to learn how to put yourself under, read Step 2 in the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo in The Bonobo Way. Or just watch me, Daniele, the Chef & Dr. Travis, Dr. Nita & Dr. Drew.  We also talk about trigger words and hands-free orgasms!

Sploshable. Photo: Zane Bono

Messier and Messier

This sploshy show doesn’t really have an ending. Sploshing puts you into an altered state, or at least, that’s what it does to me, and I can’t tell time from taco sauce.

This leads to some messy interactions and proverbial slips on banana peels, but all’s well that ends well, and my delicious evening climaxes with my handsome Captain lightly sploshing me with sensuous Cannabelly cannabis-infused extra-virgin coconut oil (concocted by Jux Lii), stirring up a crockpot-cracking sploshgasm that breaks all the recipes and makes a (small) mess.

Thanks to this week’s volunteers: Camera Operators, Photographers, Bartender, and our in-house bonobos Abe Perez, Del Rey, Gypsy Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Jacquie Blu, MarsFX, Paniscus Brecht and Zane Bono.

© December 4 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

New Year’s Eve 2017 LiVE from Bonoboville on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo: Greg Gorman

Length 1:46:20 Date: December 31, 2016

by Dr. Susan Block.

The past is quite imperfect, and the future looks like an über-scary clown, but Bonoboville lights up the crossroads with an off-the-charts fantastic, orgiastic and very Happy New Year’s Eve.

It’s a night of communal ecstasy, collective joy, bonoboësque spirit, rainbow-ësque diversity, resistance to oppression from all directions and pure pleasure… with a little bit of pain.

Calm before the NYE storm. Photo: Greg Gorman

 Featuring a galaxy of porn stars, pundits, singers, swingers and LA’s most preeminent pro-Dommes, we spank out the old annus (and anus) and flog in a very Happy Nude Rear, as we ride the magical orgasmical Sybian into a deliriously climactic 2017.

Before the festivities begin, I say a few words in remembrance of our brothers and sisters that were horrifically murdered just a few hours before while celebrating New Year’s Eve in an attack on an Istanbul nightclub. More tragic casualties of George W. Bush’s Iraq invasion and the perma-war. However, my first resolution of 2017 is to #resist the warmongers’ and the terrorists’  efforts to take away my freedom to party like a bonobo!

A Big Loving F-U to Warmongers, Terrorists & Nonconsensual Pussy-Grabbers for a Happy 2017! Photo: Jux Lii

And party like bonobos we do indeed. First up on my broadcast bed is the majestic Goddess Phoenix, DomCon’s renowned Opening Night hostess with the mostest, who dazzles us with her pro-Domme skills, sly wit and sensual Southern charm in her first appearance on DrSuzy.Tv.

Goddess Phoenix whips up an electric NYE with Gasmaskgirl Jay in the middle. Photo: Hugo Flores

She leads the pack of us in spanking good-bye to 2016 in syncopated rhythm, playing “butt bongo” on Daniel Watts’ beautiful booty (in sparkling blue booty shorts), as Daniele’s pansensual hubby Chef Be*LiVE giggles and wiggles to the beat.

Later the Goddess flogs in a very Happy Nude Rear (Jacquie Blu’s) with brilliant red and violet laser-light floggers that look like divine lightning bolts, dragon flames or fireworks for the New Year, depending on the angle.

Whipping in a Very Happy Nude Rear. Photo: Zane Bono

Next up is Mistress Porcelain Midnight, looking even more gorgeous and glamorous than usual in a slinky purple evening gown and her signature jewels, although her New Year’s resolution is to get even more jewels from her money slaves. I would urge you would-be subs to start now, and shower this Porcelain Princess with diamonds!

Don’t you want to give her jewels? Photo: Greg Gorman

Ms. Porcelain gives the best Bonobo Way book-spankings ever, and maintains her preeminence by book–spanking Jacquie Blu into a “Happy Nude Rear.” Then Goddess Phoenix joins in and book-spanks her even more with a good flogging for good measure.

Goddess Phoenix is part Apache, Ms. Porcelain is part Blackfoot and Jacquie is part Cherokee, an ecosexy gathering of nations, which reminds me to give a special Happy New Year shout-out to all the brave and bonoboësque Native Americans and supporters at Standing Rock, North Dakota’s NoDAPL central, the Water Protectors fighting for all of our rights to clean water and clean air. Standing head and shoulders above most of us on the right and left this sorry year for politics, their strong nonviolent stand against corporate greed and pollution is a beacon of light in a rather dark 2016. And now it’s lighting up 2017… Little did we know that a couple of NoDAPL supporters would be climbing up into the rafters of the U.S. Bank Stadium during a Vikings vs. Bears game to unfurl a large banner reading “DIVEST #NoDAPL,” then rappelling down to talk to reporters just before being arrested by Minneapolis police. #GoBonobos #NoDAPL!

Also appearing for the first time on DrSuzy.Tv: Madam Jacqueline DuMonde, the foot fetish queen who demonstrates the fine art of the “dangle” with her pointy-toed stiletto high heel swinging teasingly from the tip of her big toe. And Goddess Suzina is back—after over 10 years! My, how time flies like a New Year Eve’s countdown; this golden-haired Southern Belle really was on the show over a decade ago; she’s looking lovely on the cusp of 2017, albeit a bit rustic in torn jeans and a T shirt, giving our glam gathering some down-home twang.

Mistress Tara puts Trump in a head-lock as Goddess Phoenix whips in the New Year. Photo: Skyred

Another queen in casual attire, my favorite U.S. Presidential candidate of 2016,  Mistress Tara Indiana, joins us in the second part of the show. Though I voted for Hillary, I adore Ms. Tara and I firmly believe that if she had had the financial backing of, say the DNC, she could have beaten Trump. She certainly does beat Trump with a hard paddle in this final blast-off from 2016, forcing him to strip down to his undies and then even pull those down to show the crowd his tiny penis! No wonder he feels compelled to overcompensate by building “towers,” bankrupt casinos, a scandal-plagued university and a bad restaurant with his Americanized name plastered all over them.

Mistress Tara beats Trump into 2017. Photo: Greg Gorman

Naked and cowering, Trump is our grotesque Big Baby New Year, a monstrous yet hilarious symbol for 2017. Which will overpower the other, the monstrous or the hilarious? Or, will the two forces of tragedy and comedy stay in a dead heat? Only time will tell…

Just one Trump surrogate is not enough for this New Year’s bacchanal, so we also take turns dominating our Trump voodoo doll, administering CBT (cock and ball torture), stuffing his open mouth with an über BBC (Big Black Cock), cuddling him (mostly courtesy of our dear Trump-bedazzled Daniele) and forcing him to read The Bonobo Way. Call it a political punching bag or Trumpocalypse therapy, but it feels good to gang up like lady bonobos with the Domme Sisterhood here and put the Baby Donny in his place, beneath our feet… even as we prepare to coronate him King of the Fools. Besides being 2017, it’s the Chinese Year of the Rooster, so there’s something eerily fitting, even though if horribly wrong, about this being the Year of the Cock.

Whips & Kisses + Champagne & Horn-Blowing, oh yeah. Photo: Hugo Flores

Speaking of eerie, we’re delighted to welcome back Dirge Magazine‘s Renée Asher Pickup, journalist of the dark side, who picks up a tip or two from the pro-Dommes about how to dominate and humiliate Trump and other dangerously narcissistic CEOs. Eerier and eerier, voluptuous beauty and performer with Paranormal Perversions, Audus Isaiah, also joins us onstage in her first time on DrSuzy.Tv, her  top barely covering her boobs, and often not at all,  Jay Toriko is back, this time representing GasMaskGirl (he’ll be featured in their next production) and wearing a gasmask, the fashionable facewear of choice for the climate-change-denying Trumpocalypse.

Madame Margherite and her “Monkey,” Andres Rey Solorzano, are here although for NYE, Andres is more man than monkey, and the two of them share a delectable kiss at midnight. So do my ravishing assistant, Gypsy Bonobo, looking especially festive in 1940s-style pincurls and a black corset, and Paniscus Brecht, who also looks ravishing in Misfits skull top and skyscraper heels. I too share a little midnight (well, close to midnight) kiss with my one and only beloved primemate, Capt’n Max.

Speaking of midnight, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? That silly, singular, spectacular moment between “10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1” and blast-off into a “Happy New Year!” We count it down, just like billions of countdowns everywhere from LA to Tehran (all represented right here in the United Nations of Bonoboville), and we herald its arrival with horn-honks, streamers, spanks, shrieks, champagne, kisses and orgasms.

Yes, orgasms! Smack in the center of my streamer-strewn broadcast bed, on the grand vibrating throne known as the Sybian, sits luscious little Loni Legend (nominated for two AVN awards, including “Best Booty” or something like that), gloriously topless and on top of the world, riding that magnificent machine into a multi-orgasmic 2017. 

Happy New Year, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, Bonobo Babes and Party Animals! Peace on Earth – Pleasure for All!

Peace on Earth * Orgasms for All! Happy 2017 from Bonoboville. Photo: Hugo Flores

‘Round midnight, Ikkor the Wolf, sporting a new black T-shirt with #BONOBOVILLE emblazoned across his chest, sings “I’m Good” and “She Bad,” as Bonoboville rocks out with (some) cocks out, and champagne pouring over beautiful bare boobs and spanking red happy nude rears galore.

Ikkor the Wolf raps #BONOBOVILLE. Photo: Zane Bono

Yes indeed, we party like bonobos, and as good times go, Bonoboville rules.

Then Capt’n Max gives a rousing speech about #resistance in the impending Trumpocalypse, and though we end the show, the party continues. Even after the party, we party. It being the eighth and last night of Hanukkah, we light up the whole menorah, as Ms. Tara (whose dad was a Lubavitcher rabbi) joins me in singing the Hebrew prayer. Ms. Sheree Rose and Rhiannon Aaron come up from the audience to “shep nachas” (share joy), as it were, as do Cannabelly cookie man Jux Lii, adorable hot-tub interview princess Quinn Quintana and the lovelier-than-ever Stefani Special. Then Daniele and Gypsy ride the Sybian to the tune of Carmina Formosa aka[ai]’s “The Kinkster.” Whatever 2017 may bring, we are starting it off with some good vibrations!

Party, party, party on. Finally the Capt’n and I bid our guests adieu to partake in  some private, very personal fireworks celebrating over 25 New Years together. Though on a couple of New Year’s Eves we were separated by oceans or cold steel bars, we’ve always been together since that first New Year’s we fell tumbling into love as 1990 turned into ’91. That was the beginning of our personal RƎVO˩ution that has taken us, flying on a magic carpet, to this place surrounded by love.

Let’s keep the love flowing, Brothers and Sisters, no matter what the future may bring, let’s go bonobos in 2017!

New Year’s Eve Class of 2017 LiVE from Bonoboville on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo: Zane Bono

Thanks to this week’s volunteers: Camera Operator – Sean Reidy; Photographers – Greg Gorman, Hugo Flores, Jux Li, Marc Boileau, Sky Red Photography; Bartenders – Handsome Hollywood Jake and Rica; and our On-Campus Bonobos Abe Perez, Del Rey, Gypsy Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Jacquie Blu, MarsFX, Paniscus Brecht & Zane Bono.

© January 1, 2017. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

Length 01:51:50 Date: January 6, 2018

by Dr. Susan Block

Bonoboville kicks off 2018 with a bang, a spank and a sweet, sapiosexual Communion, climaxing with Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump (D.A.D.) unleashing a glorious golden shower upon our surrogate Trumpty Dumpty, the Cuckold King,.

Phoenix Dawn, Miss Antoinette, Goddess Soma, Trump, Dr. Suzy, Mistress Tara, Brigitte, Ikkor. Photo: Jux Lii

It’s the first Dr. Susan Block Show of the new year, and after a nice chill holiday, the Fire and Fury is hotter than ever. Fire and Fury is the name of journalist Michael Wolff’s new fly-on-the-White-House-wall book about life with the Prima Donald Trumpanzee, the unscrupulous Trump Crime Family and the crazed, confused and duplicitous White House staff. It’s also the name of one of my articles, The Fire and Fury of the Tiki Torches, penned mid-summer when the bombastic Trumposity was threatening to unleash “Fire and Fury and, frankly, power like the world has never seen before onto his funhouse mirror image, Kim Jong-Un.

Now the two loudmouth leaders are comparing the size of their buttons. No, not belly buttons; though that would be more appropriate for these blimpy bovine man-babies. We’re talking nuclear buttons, firing up the fury (from Trump Tower?) for 2018.

Literal FIRE (and Fury) on Trump Tower!

Where are the heroic fire fighters that can put out this Fire and Fury before it burns us all to a post-Trumpocalyptic crisp?

Firefighters for America “Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump” put out the “Fire and Fury” of the Gilded Trumpanzee. Photo: Jux Lii

Where indeed? Why they’re right here, in Bonoboville, where we present Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump (D.A.D.) to the rescue—FemDoms, patriots and “toxic masculinity” fire fighters—ready, able and willing to spank out that toxic fire with crops, canes, The Bonobo Way and their beautiful bare hands. Then, we hose it down with a Russian rush and a golden gush. Oh my!

D.A.D. director Mistress Tara Indiana shoots a Fire-and-Fury-dousing stream onto the Trumposity in our Russian Hooker Pee Party! Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

It’s Holy Water, Brothers and Sisters. And honestly, it feels good to just let go and… piss on Trump.

Banned on Facebook!

Seriously, this show is so hot, it’s banned on Facebook. That’s right, within the first 40 minutes of our PG Facebook Live broadcast, long before we even start to give Trump his golden comeuppance, the powers-that-be shut us down, and now we’re in “Facebook Jail” for seven days. It’s kind of surprising, since all we’ve done is talk with a little spanking but no nudity. As usual, the faceless Facebook censors never say specifically why they are censoring you—issuing nothing but a vague statement about “violating community standards”—as they close down your communications, with no recourse, no trial, no jury and no questions answered. So much for Freedom of Speech, even with Net Neutrality.

Just talking about the Trumpocalypse with D.A.D. and friends. Photo: Slick Rick

Thank Goddess, we are not dependent on Facebook for our communications. You can always tune into our shows, complete and uncensored, on DrSuzy.Tv or in Bonoboville. As I’ve said since Facebook shut down my first “page” with over 10,000 “likes” back in 2010, these are not my Facebook pages, just as your Facebook pages aren’t actually yours. The comforting notion that they are “your” virtual property is one of the key illusions of corporate-controlled social media. The harsh reality is Facebook is less of a “community” than it is a plantation, and we the billions who populate it with our personal videos, photos, posts and poetry—our virtual life stories—are nothing but sharecroppers.

As such, we are virtually helpless, voiceless subjects of the sex-negative, body-phobic whims of plantation overseer Mark (Zuckerberg), his staff and his bots.

WHY did Facebook censor this? Photo: Clemmy Cockato

Whatever it was (the spanking? the golden showers talk? the politics?), all we know is that something in the first hour of the live broadcast pressed Facebook’s “button.” At least it’s not the nuke button. Nevertheless, censorship like this is annoying, alarming, inconvenient and, most insidiously, it encourages over-zealous self-censorship. On the bright side, being “banned on Facebook” does add to the taboo cachet of this amazing show.

Dommes Against Drumpf

I open the evening in my over-the-knee (OTK) black boots and shiny, tight Abigail Greydanus Latex dress that I wore for my first DomCon Bonobo Way lecture, lounging in my broadcast bed, my naughty and irreverent pulpit in the Church of Bonoboville, flanked by my sexy assistant, Phoenix Dawn, and our distinguished guests from Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump (D.A.D.).

I first introduce D.A.D. founder and director Mistress Tara Indiana, whom I call the “Mom of D.A.D.” Mistress Tara is one of the world’s leading pro-Dommes, a 2016 U.S. Presidential candidate for the “Female Supremacy” party and the winner of the prestigious 2017 SUZY award for “Best FemDom of the Resistance.”

D.A.D. Pre-Show Selfie

Also joining us from D.A.D. are the luminous Goddess Soma Snakeoil, 2017 SUZY award winner for “Best FemDom Fire Play,” in shiny OTK black boots, and adorable “switch” kinkster, Miss Antoinette, “Best Submissive Fire Play” winner, both honored for the radiant scene during Capt’n Max’s birthday when Goddess Soma turned Miss Antoinette into a human birthday candle.

As the ladies explain, D.A.D. is “a place for Dominatrixes and their allies to exchange ideas and organize political action against Donald Trump.” One of their actions involves Mistress Tara performing erotic art installations at various locations, such as the Trump Towers public space or the Trump star on Hollywood Blvd., in which she urinates on a willing Trump surrogate/submissive. Indeed, on Trump’s famously small inaugural weekend, Mistress Tara and other D.A.D. members did a dry run on DrSuzy.Tv… well, actually it was a very wet run.

You can see what I mean in “Trump’s Golden Shower: Therapy for the Trumpocalypse” now playing in all it’s hot wet XXX-rated glory on Clip-O-Rama, or just check out the PG promo on YouTube.

Female Domination – Not Assassination

Before the night is out, we will do another wet run on the prone and helpless Trumpus. But first, we invite the Big Man-Baby into the Womb Room. Always a sucker for a hot pussy he thinks he can grab, he waddles into the Womb Room, and of course, he’s tweeting.

Ms. Tara springs into action like a super-hero, grabs Adolf Twitler’s phone and collars him firmly.

Mistress Tara collars the Trumpus on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

At this point, with no Secret Service around, she could easily off him, but that’s not the Bonobo Way.

After all, D.A.D. is not about assassination. It’s just female domination… at presidential levels.

Lick that Boot, Trumpty Dumpty! Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

Which is exactly what we females do, spanking the Moron-in-Chief with riding crops and The Bonobo Way as we make him kiss our feet and boots, berating him for his numerous crimes.

We also mock him for his tiny peepee and his current “Cuck Fight” with sicko Steve Bannon.

Such is the new year’s state of Fire and Fury, with Bannon calling the Trump Crime Family “treasonous” and Trump tweeting that his former mentor “lost his mind.”

Caning the Creep’s Can. Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

It’s enough to make us innocent Americans lose our minds, and for that, Goddess Soma suits up with her strap-on and force-feeds our Combover Cuckold her big black Bannon banana dick.

Yes, he “likes” it.  Of course, he does. And no, he doesn’t deserve this kinky pleasure. But if keeping him gagged with the Goddess’ dick will quench that “fire and fury,” it’s worth giving the big man-baby a BDSM joyride. And if it makes him resign (and take Mike Sissypants Pence with him), then we’ll keep him busy with spanking, cuckolding and big black strap-on therapy day and night.

Merrily fucking the face of Fuckface Von Clownstick (with a hat tip to Jon Stewart). Photo: Slick Rick

Seriously, Trump is such a big bad boss man, obviously estranged from his long-suffering wife and contemptuous of most “pussies,” he probably yearns for a truly powerful woman—a  woman like D.A.D.—to take control of his sorry little baby-boy self.

And yes, it’s the Bonobo Way, and one of the key answers to #MeTooWhatNext? As D.A.D. sees it, women should take control of this terribly toxic situation—one of the root causes of which is men’s sexual shame—for the sake of humanity and everybody else.

First Communions & Birthday Spankings of 2018

Powerful women need pleasure too, and so we take pleasure in each other for a few lusty rounds of Bonoboville Communion followed by Waterboarding, Bonobo-Style with Agwa de Bolivia Herbal Coca Leaf Liqueur.

Holding the Divine Interventions Jesus Jackhammer, we begin the first Bonobo Communion of 2018 with Mistress Tara receiving and Phoenix as Altar Girl. Photo: Jux Lii

Mistress Tara takes the first Communion of 2018, licking it up from the delightful boobs of  the lovely Phoenix serving as Altar Girl.

PHOTOS: JUX LII

Post-Communion, our Altar Girl gets a very sexy OTK (over-the-knee) spanking from Miss Antoinette.

While Trump’s spanking is for the good of the country, this one is for the pleasure of all. So is our post-spanking Happy Nude Year greeting.

Happy (Sort Of) Nude Year from Bonoboville. Photo: Jux Lii

Then whom do I spy in our Womb Room audience but sexy little blonde Brigitte, real-life MiLF with five kids (though you’d never know it from her tight athletic body).

Mistress Tara gives Brigitte her Birthday Spanking. Photo: Jux Lii

Moreover, it’s her birthday! Since we didn’t know she was coming, we don’t have a cake, but Brigitte always loves a good-spanking, and that we can provide. This being her birthday, she gets an extra special OTK spanking from Mistress Tara. Pretty soon, her buns are as pink as her panties.

Then it’s the Birthday Girl’s turn to take Communion, which she enjoys from the magnificent mammaries of Mistress Tara.

PHOTOS: SLICK RICK

Later, Miss Antoinette takes Communion from Mistress Tara’s Altar, though she just gets waterboarded with cranberry juice.

Waterboarding Miss Antoinette with blood-red juice. Photo: Rick Slick

The Mom of D.A.D. looks downright beatific as she suckles her female admirers on this show.

Jux Lii view of this idyllic FemDom Communion Commencement to 2018.

And then there is her male nemesis: Trumplethinskin the Lyin’ King. Before the end of our evening, the heroic FemDom fire-fighters of D.A.D. hose down his fire and fury.

Collared and submissive to D.A.D. now, Trump the Chump crawls back into the Womb Room on his tiny hands and knees. Photo: Jux Lii

We pee on Trump!

Golden Globes to Golden Showers

One of D.A.D.’s goals is to “highlight the hypocrisy, injustice and double standard that’s applied to sex workers and the politicians that hire them. A Dominatrix who pees on Trump can be sent to jail, while Trump can pay to be peed on and he gets to be President.”

And yes indeed, we do highlight all of that in bold, wet, golden strokes across Liddle Donny Diaperpants’ big almost-naked (except for his diaper/underpants) body.

Trumpty Dumpty has a great fall… at least, he does in our Commedia Erotica sexual psychodrama here, which is great, inner-bonobo-releasing, Trumpocalypse therapy for us and hopefully, fine kinky entertainment for you.

“Woman Who Pees Standing” – D.A.D. director Mistress Tara hoses down Trump’s Fire and Fury. Photo: Jux Lii

Note: Pissing on the President is not as easy as Mistress Tara makes it look, as she lets fly a veritable Niagara Falls on Trump’s midsection. Phoenix also releases a lovely sparkling shower. Then Goddess Soma and Miss Antoinette take their turns at the Trump Urinal. Excitedly, Miss Antoinette reports that it’s her “virgin” golden-shower-giving experience. Cheers to that. We love first-time fun on DrSuzy.Tv.

I even manage to squeeze out a few streams which I am proud to say hit their mark: the first splashing down on Trump’s cheek, so it looks like tears, and the second landing right in his eye.

Mistress Tara tops off the party by stuffing Trump toilet paper into the Trump’s toilet mouth.

D.A.D.’s Trump Toilet. Photo: Jux Lii

Russian hookers of the Trump-at-the-Moscow-Ritz-Carlton “dossier,” eat your hearts out!

We Are One: Ikkor the Wolf

At this point, the Dominatrixes vs Donald Trump battle is over, the Dominatrixes the clear winners.

Nevertheless, though we have won, we are one, as Ikkor  sings, and the FemDoms dance.

2017 SUZY winner for “Hottest Hiphop Artist” Ikkor the Wolf sings “We Are One.” Photo: Slick Rick

“We Are One.”

It may be a harder truth to swallow than a big rubber dong, but the Trumpus is one of us.

The Trumpus Is One of Us. Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

In 2018, for his own good and the good of the world, we have to try to take him down. With our art and our actions, our votes and our protests… whether we succeed or fail catastrophically (always a distinct possibility), we have to try. And we should be bonobo about it. Not assassination. Just a little good old-fashioned bonoboesque female domination.

Trumped by D.A.D. on DrSuzy-Tv. Photo: Jux Lii

That’s why I’m pleased to support the good works of Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump, and consensual sex workers everywhere.

Trump unmasked. Hair Stylist: Jeffrey Vallance. Photo: Clemmy Cockatoo

In the spirit of oneness, I’d also like to thank Tim Sewall (winner of the 2017 SUZY award for “Best Putin Impersonator”) for playing the thankless (but not spankless) role of Trump the Chump, courtesy of D.A.D. What a good sport for water sports!

#GoBonobos in 2018

The after-party continues into the art gallery and around the bar.

Then off we go, my Captain and I, through orgasmic hoops of fire and fury into a cool pool of bliss and the great unknowns of a brand new year.

Thanks to Our Volunteers: Videographers-Harry Sapien, Gideon G.; Photographers – JuxLii, Slick Rick, Kristian; On-Campus Bonobos – Abe Perez, Camille Rosebud, Mita Altair, Harry Sapien, Gideon G., MarsFX, Clemmy Cockatoo, Ana & Miguel.

© January 6, 2018. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

Length: 73:28 minutes          Date: 03/19/2011

See the pix and video at drsusanblock.tv

This show within the show celebrates Purim’s Feast of Lots with lots of sex, fun, wisdom and potent Weapons of Mass Seduction, brought to you by the Queen of Seduction, master storyteller Dr. Susan Block.  Captivatingly kosher in blue mask and harem-wear,  Dr. Suzy takes us on a magic carpet ride into her exotic erotic interpretation of Purim’s Biblical Story of Esther. Commemorating the 8th anniversary of “Shock & Awe” (Bush bombing of Iraq) and the day Obama (change we can believe in?) bombs Libya, the same Supermoon day radiation plumes from Fukushima, Japan are said to start reaching American shores (all Weapons of Mass Destruction), Dr. Block unleashes a very different kind of armament: Weapons of Mass Seduction.  Her Commedia Erotica cast of porn stars, poets, transwomen and filmmakers (we at the Speakeasy spare no expense when it comes to honoring sexy heroines who Shtup for Peace) perform the timeless tale with improvisational panache(no rehearsal whatsoever) and XXX-rated action. This broadcast also celebrates the even more ancient Persian New Year or Nowruz with traditional spoons and fire used in very nontraditional, rather kinky ways.

Dr. Susan Block’s Commedia Erotica Purim Players

Misti Dawn — Lusciously nerdy, A-list alt porn star, cupcake mistress and our divine Venus on Eros Day 12 (see the pix and video on drsusanblock.tv), Misti is our illustrious Queen Esther, the Biblical trophy wife who uses her sexual skills to seduce her husband the king into reversing a genocide edict against her people.

Michael Vegas — Up and coming porn phenomenon (about to play Luke Skywalker in Axel Braun’s Star Wars parody), our awesome Eros on Eros Day 12 (where Axel first saw Michael *fly*) and Misti’s boyish BF, Michael is Biblical party animal King Ahaseurus (the historical king Xerxes), often wearing nothing but his crown while wielding his powerful golden penis scepter and a large, strategically placed Persian New Year spoon.

Bon Jon Syn — Fun-loving porn star, martial artist, film producer and Institute telephone sex therapist Bon Jon is the “hero” of the Purim story, pious but practical Pimpin’ Cousin Mordecai, Queen Esther’s cousin who coaches her in her seduction of the King.

Sinn Sage — A vibrantly sexual porn star/adventurer, Sinn plays “against type” as the sex-negative Queen Vashti, the king’s first wife who refuses to dance naked for her royal hubby and his princely drinking buddies, only to be banished or executed in the Bible—or (at the  Speakeasy) stripped naked and *hung* on the gallows (a St. Andrew’s Cross) as a kind of female human sacrifice that allows the heroism of Esther to emerge.  Torturing Sinn’s knock-out, naked, natural body is one of the high points of the Purim spiel.

Dark Phoenix — Preeminent Fire Master Dark Phoenix plays Prince Haman (crank your groggers!) to perv-fection as the quintessence of pompous evil, the king’s right-hand man who orders  the Jewish genocide with as much joyous glee as he fire-tortures Sinn/Vashti’s amazing ass.  DP is also a very good sport when it comes to being “sacrificed” on the cross and the spoon-beating he gets in the end.

Lord Exceter Miles — Gently sinister Dom Exceter takes on the coveted role of Palace Guard, the keeper of the cross (St. Andrew’s cross, that is) and wielder of the Nowruz spoon and silver dildo sword.  In the after-party, a miraculously resurrected Sinn/Vashti gives it back to the Lord as good as he gave it to her.

Lily Cade  — Gold-star lesbian porn star Lily is Lilith, really a character from another Bible (or, to be more precise, Talmud) story, that of the first woman before Eve Demon Goddess of the Harem, who seduces Sinn/Vashti into staying in with the girls instead of going out to dance for the king and then comforts her erotically as she is *sacrificed* upon the cross.

Tindala and FeralKytn — There are many wonders of the world, but most pale in comparison to the vision of totally tricked-out, topless ponygirls Tindala and FeralKytn as the king’s horses carrying Mordecai/Bon on their trotting backs for his ceremonious ride throughout the womb-room. Oh, these feisty fillies!

Morgan Bailey — Transwoman porn star Morgan is deliciously dynamic as the Head Eunuch as well as the king’s personal eunuch as well as Mordecai’s favorite eunuch and everybody’s BFF.

Katie Kinns — sexy fun-loving girl Katie is a harem girl during the show and her real-life BF Mona Sunoy is her passionate (illicit?) lover who plunders her treasure with wild gymnastic sex in the king’s harem during the erotic after-party

Sienna Sinclaire,  Ginny Blossom, Siren Selene — these lovely ladies of porn and fetish round out the king’s harem in fine, topless-titty shaking form.

Michael Phillips —Award winning playwright and author, Michael looks hilariously authentic as Rabbi Mikael in Dr. Suzy’s personal Orthodox Jewish garb (talis and Yeshivish black hat) but sounds slightly kinkier than Lubavitcher when he reminds us that the hamantaschen not only resembles Haman’s hat, but also a vulva.

AV Flox — is our sexy guest commentator, writer, and blogger for Sex and the 405.

Ezra Butler — is the self-described “illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity,” though we also understand one of his parents is a rabbi.

TOPICS

Purim, Book of Esther, Nowruz, Persian New Year, Harem, Bible sex, genocide, Weapons of Mass Seduction, Weapons of Mass Destruction, masquerade, truth, teasing, politics, cycle of violence, peace through pleasure

ACTION

sex, dancing, drinking, flogging, spanking, bondage, fellatio, cunnilingus, handjob, sexual intercourse, spoon beating, fire jumping, dildo play, human horseback riding, Persian feasting, naked fire play, bellydancing, eating dates, grapes and hamentaschen

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

With Bree Daniels, Dana DeArmond, Lily Cade, Kara Price, Dan O’Connell, Elexis Monroe, Erin & Candi Girl right after our Girlfriends Gangbang. Photo: Mad Passion

Click here for Free PGish Pix…  X pix and video at DrSusanBlock.tv

Today my sick hard drive entered the recovery lab.  I feel like its in rehab and needs to dry out from too much partying.  Whether they put it through detox or a clean room, I just hope they resurrect all the years of blogs, shows and archives that are somewhere in there under an avalanche of digital sludge, gasping for release.

Thanks for all your help, attempted help and comments of support.  I’m glad no one so far has said they are “praying” for my hard drive because that would be too much, and there’s no evidence that other people’s prayers help hospital patients, let alone sick hard drives, anyway.   In the meantime, I’m here on this “temp blog,” and want to bring you LAST Saturday’s amazing “Girlfriends Gangbang” which kind of got short shrift since the cyber catastrophe happened literally hours after that show–and just before I was about to have sex.  And no, I’m not such a nympho that I had sex anyway. There’s nothing less erotic than hard drive failure.  Viagra does not help.

Anyway,  I just have to include this girl-girl erotica extravaganza here on the temp bloggamy.

Some men may love women, but some women love women even more. And some men love to watch what happens when women who love women get together–no holds barred. For this show, I gather gold-star lesbians, passionate bisexuals, famous and infamous porn stars and one hot “civilian” into a very tight, hot Womb Room.  A fascinating forum on woman-to-woman love turns into an intense, multi-orgasmic, bonobo-esque  gangbang  that careens from foot fetish games to dildo play to double-vaginal-fisting to first-time squirting.  Hoka-hoka!

Featured Guests

Dana DeArmond: The original “Internet’s Girlfriend,” Dana was last on The Dr. Susan Block Show back in 2003 when she was just starting to amass her quarter of a million Myspace friends.  Chicly attired in basic black over cute red polar bear panties, she returns as a porn star, now working with Girlfriends films where she usually plays the “bad girl.”  When I ask her to demonstrate her “serious foot fetish,” Dana opens wide and deep-throats (more…)

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

Length 01:34:31 Date: Apr. 27th, 2019

by Dr. Susan Block.

Did I spill wine all over myself at last Saturday’s Bunny 420 Passover, Honey? Because I’m decked out in burgundy everything for this show, from my big wine-colored hat (a gift from HBO) to my Manischewitz-colored high-heeled boots (another gift from a boot-fetish fan).

From “Days of Wine & Roses” to “Nights of Burgundy & Edibles.” Photo: Harry Sapien

What’s the favorite wine of a Jewish American Princess (JAP)? I wanna go to Miami! That’s an ancient joke, before climate change and corruption turned Miami Beach into an alligator and human lizard-infested swamp. Now maybe Palm Beach and Mar-A-Lago are places to whine for, but watch out for the hooker police! Emboldened by the rather loosely defined SESTA/FOSTA laws, they’re charging any woman with “human trafficking” if she accepts money from any man… for just about anything.

PHOTOS: HARRY SAPIEN

420 also seems to have manifested cannabis leaves on my sleeves. As for those boots, they are big over-the-knee leatherette waders, the better to stride unsullied through the hogwash flooding our increasingly toxic pigshit culture. Happy Year of the Pig, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners.

Thus equipped, off I go into our fourth great show live from the little Love Church of the Bonobo Way in the new village of Bonoboville, and no, we still haven’t pulled things together enough to have guests. Clothes racks are still in the studio, sculptures are still in bubblewrap, boxes and unhung art everywhere, while whatever we happen to be looking for is nowhere to be found. What can I say? Unless you’re a billionaire, moving’s a bitch.

PHOTOS 1-3: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 4-5: HARRY SAPIEN

Not that I’m all alone in the Womb Room. Capt’n Max is filming, along with the rest of my beloved Bonoboville crew, including Harry Sapien, his signature knee pad tied hilariously around his right leg, so he can get down on bended knee. No, not to propose–to get the perfect shot (Shoot Cameras, Not Guns)!

Whining for Wine as Blossom uncorks for me. Photo: Harry Sapien

Dazzling eye candy, titillating giggles, cogent commentary and fascinating true confessions are provided by my pair of darling deputies: There’s my leopard-corseted kitty cat show assistant Blossom Green of Laguna Beach, uncorking fine wine whenever I whine, making sure tRump‘s penis pacifier stays in his big mouth, and fielding your questions and comments on Facebook Live. Lots of enthusiastic comments this show, keep ‘em coming. #GoBonobos!

PHOTOS 1 & 3: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 2 & 4: HARRY SAPIEN

Then there’s my sexy editorial assistant, Shannon Sweet of San Antone, in matching frilly pink short-shorts and midriff top that she made herself!

Shannon Sweet & her Banana BF. Photo: Harry Sapien

She looks like Daisy Mae Scragg in Lil Abner, doing ever-so-innocently obscene things with Jacob Sokoloff’s big moustachioed banana.

Daisy Mae of Dogpatch, predecessor of Shannon Sweet of San Antonio.

Then the two of them ride the banana like a seesaw. That’s one happy banana!

Blossom & Shannon ride the banana. Photo: Harry Sapien

Our three outfits don’t match, but we’re all wearing different kinds of boots for the boot fetishists!

Over-the-Knee High-Heeled Burgundy, White Cowgirl and OTK Black Suede Flats: Something for every Boot Fetishist. Photo: Harry Sapien

I even wear two kinds of boots, changing mid-show from the big, “Dommy Mommy” over-the-knee subbie-stompers to short suede booties (cabernet-colored, of course) with toes so pointy they could slice bread.

Pointy-toed booties and cuties. Photo: Bianca (who also took this show’s cover photo)

These boots are made for walking… trampling and boot worship.

Practicing My Wrist Action for DomCon 2019, with Goddess Phoenix’s Fiber-Optic Whip on Blossom’s Bottom. Photo: Harry Sapien

DomCon here we come! Once again, I’ll be wearing fabulous DeMask Latex at Domcon.

It’s my third time wearing custom Demask and fourth time delivering The Bonobo Way: FemDoms of the WILD, though it’ll be a different outfit, of course, and an updated presentation featuring fabulous Rhiannon Aarons, Del Rey, Tim Sewall, Blossom and Shannon.

PHOTOS 1 & 5: HARRY SAPIEN.  PHOTO 2, 3 & 4: BIANCA

Even sooner that that… Masturbation Month is COMING. Get your lube, toys, fantasies and self-pleasure plans ready for the merry month of May!

Shoot the Gun Between Your Legs

Before we delve too deeply into diddling, we get serious (though interestingly, it brings us back to diddling). That morning, the last day of Passover, a 19-year-old self-declared white supremacist, opened fire in a Chabad synagogue in San Diego (home of my bonobo family at the SD Zoo), using an AR-15, a weapon of war and the mass murderer’s weapon of choice, killing one person and wounding three—this, the day after Trump reiterated his reference to neo-Nazis as “very fine people” (for more about this, read the new Post-Trump Sex Disorder and old Fire & Fury of the Tiki Torches). The day before, a U.S. Army veteran with PTSD crashed his truck into a bunch of people he thought were Muslims. And then there were the horrendous Easter killings of over 200 people in Sri Lanka. And that’s just recent religion-focused horrors that come to mind.

Thoughts and prayers don’t cut it. But what does? Gun control is really vital (people don’t need AR-15s!), but doesn’t stop trucks and bombs.

PHOTO 1: SELFIE? PHOTOS 2-4: BIANCA

And what does sex have to do with it? All these murderers, in addition to being truly messed up in a multitude of ways (though not often diagnosed as “mentally ill”), are sexually frustrated. Some are incels. They need some good clean wholesome SEX. And if they’re too messed up to find a consensual partner, well, that’s one reason why we masturbate.

Hey, it’s almost Masturbation Month, but go ahead and start early! Shoot that gun between your legs, guys and gals and everybody else. Follow the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure. There’s even a very nice “men’s… condom safe” silicon lube called Gun Oil for the ammosexuals who want to try to be more bonobo.

I believe that the power to give pleasure is the greatest power we have. Photo: Harry Sapien

This is what I try to help folks do through the show, the talks, private sex therapy and the book.

Call me the Masturbation Mama, because I believe in the power of pleasure. Sure, it’s nice to get it from other people, when and if they’re in the mood to give it to you just the way you need it, but there’s no easier, more direct way to get your daily dose of pleasure than to give it to yourself.

Some incels just need to masturbate (without shame). Others need a good (consensual) whipping from a hot bonobo MILF. Most would benefit from both. Photo: Bianca

If only we could stop shaming ourselves for masturbating. If only we could be as proud of our ability to masturbate as we are of being “good” at any sport, art or hobby. If only we could stand up in our synagogues, mosques, temples and churches and say “Lord (or Lady)! I masturbate! And I am not ashamed.”

In Wanking We Trust. Photo: Harry Sapien

If these mass-murderers could just shoot the gun between their legs—and feel good about it (i.e., not ashamed)—before shooting their AR-15s, maybe they would just forget where they put their AR-15s and take a nap.

First-Time Masturbation Stories

Capt’n Max gives me the best gifts. For Masturbation Month 2019, he’s gives me a brand new Hitachi Magic Wand! Woohoo!

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the best masturbation sex toy ever, especially for women. Give one to someone you love, even if that someone is you.

Testing 1… 2… 3…! Photo: Bianca

Of course, the real reason he gifts it to me is that he wants my old Hitachi, which he immediately takes possession of… for foot rubbing, not prostate massage, though that’s another use! It’s also for back massages, which is what the coy, non-sexual packaging actually advertises.

It’s the perfect gift for the merry Masturbation Month of May, so designated to honor former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders who was fired back in 1994 by none other than President Bill Clinton for having dared to suggest that one form of “safe sex” is masturbation, and sex education classes should be sure to include that fact. If only Billy had taken the good doctor’s advice instead of firing her, we might not be where we are now. But he didn’t (he preferred intern blowjobs that almost cost him his day job), and so the ladies of Good Vibrations as well as my friend and mentor, Dr. Betty Dodson, created Masturbation Month, to honor this marvelous but much-maligned pastime.

Dr. Betty Dodson & Me celebrate Betty’s 87th Birthday with The Bonobo Way & Sex by Design (Betty’s newest book). Photo: Sarah Bella

This launches me into the story of my first voluntary orgasm when, at the age of 19, in my little single bed in my college dorm room, I read Betty’s book Liberating Masturbation (now retitled for squeamish bookstore buyers as Sex for One) and learned enough basic anatomy to figure out how to touch my clit properly to push me over the divine climactic edge.

Doing the M Month Hustle. Photo: Bianca

I’d been “playing with myself” ever since I can remember (at least, since the age of two, which is as far back as my memory goes), but this was the first time there was a deliberate grand finale to my masturbation meditation (which Annie Sprinkle dubs “medibation.”)

Blossom shares her first-time masturbation story. Photo: Harry Sapien

I ask Blossom and Shannon to share their first-time masturbation stories. Blossom says she started at around age 10 or 11 while watching TV, playing hooky from school. She didn’t quite climax, but she did quite enjoy herself, and now, thanks to her learning and liberating experiences here at the Institute, she’s well on her way to shameless orgasmic greatness.

Blossom hands the mic to Shannon. Photo: Bianca

As for Shannon, she says she’s “never masturbated” in her 24 years of life on Earth.

Sexy Shannon “never masturbated”… but what’s she doing with our big banana? Photo: Harry Sapien

“Why?” I ask, slightly dumbfounded. After all we just created a newsletter on the subject together, and savvy Shannon seemed totally “into it.” But writing about masturbating and letting your fingers do the walking (on yourself) are two very different endeavors.

Daisy Mae probably never masturbated… which could be why she always looks slightly depressed, pining for the love of Lil Abner (who’s probably gay).

“I guess I’m just a late bloomer,” Shannon replies sweetly.

In many ways, I was also a “late bloomer,” but masturbation wasn’t one of them.  I was avidly polishing the pearl as a toddler, even in public, when my Mom, ever the practical but not Puritanical guide, scolded me quietly, “Suzy, take your hands out of your pants. Your hands are dirty, and it’s clean down there!”

Telling my first-time masturbation and first orgasm stories as Shannon and Blossom giggle along. Photo: Bianca

At least, she told me my “down there” was “clean.” Which made me feel good about washing my hands and rub-a-dub-dubbing away—to this day. Thanks Mom!

My marvelous mom when she was young.  No, I don’t know if she’d let her fingers do the walking by then.

It’s tough to be a Mom or Dad in this sex-negative society, especially if you’re trying to be sex-positive. Post-show, Shannon tells me how open and sex-positive her Mom and Dad are. Nevertheless, she’s never masturbated. Or maybe that’s why. Maybe it’s been a way to rebel. That’s one reason parenting is so tough; no matter how great you are, your kids are going to find ways to rebel. Though Shannon may also have been rebelling against her sex-obsessed peers. Now here she is at Masturbation Central, the Dr. Susan Block Institute! I suggest that sometime during the merry Masturbation Month of May, she should try petting her private kitty. She agrees, but we shall see.

Actually, we probably won’t “see,” but hopefully, we’ll get a report.

Also… what was she doing with that banana?

Max tells the tale of his first time masturbating and learning the post-orgasmic value of toilet paper… the hard way. Photo: Harry Sapien

What’s a Masturbation Month prep show without Capt’n Max’s heart-warming and humorous coming-of-age first-time masturbation story on how he learned about the wonders of toilet paper. Listen above or watch free on DrSuzy.Tv for the tale as only Max can tell it.

A Ray of Sunny Shine

We also take a call. Yes, “a” call. One of my quibbles with modern culture is that people don’t use phones as phones. They text on their phone, they take pictures with their phone, they watch movies on their phone, they play video games on their phone… but they don’t seem to know how to TALK on their damn phone (Alexander Graham Bell would be appalled).

So, asking viewers to call the show is like asking them to fly to the moon. This one guy that calls us sounds like he’s on the moon, though his name is Sunny. A faceless (on Facebook) middle-aged dude with an average income and less-than-average looks, on the 1-10 scale, Sunny gives himself a “4”—no wonder he’s faceless on Facebook. I don’t mean to insult the guy; this is Sunny’s description of himself, not mine!

Trying to Help Sunny Shine! Photo: Harry Sapien

The unappetizing human specimen that he presents himself as, Sunny wants to know how to get women interested in him, women, for instance, like Blossom and Shannon—both 10’s in my conservative estimation, and probably Sunny’s. Blossom and Shannon agree that the most important thing a guy can do is to be—or at least, act—interested in them as individual, special human beings.

When I ask Sunny if he’s absorbed this basic, good, sound advice, he pauses like he can’t hear or is distracted by something he’s watching out the window or on TV, but eventually he manages to squeak out a “yes.”

PHOTOS 1,2,5: HARRY SAPIEN.  PHOTOS 3-4: BIANCA

Unsurprisingly, as Sunny continues to talk to us (minimally) and comment on Facebook Live (obsessively) it appears he has no idea how to talk to women as “human beings,” and not much genuine interest in learning. The poor guy is way too dazzled by women’s beauty, and other rather objectifying buzzwords that feed his starving libido, to begin to think about these powerful mysterious female creatures as “human beings,” let alone “special” or “individual” which might require really listening to what we have to say.

Sunny shines through his leg and pantyless pussy fetishes

It’s not that Sunny doesn’t want to talk. But he prefers subjects like “legs,” women with “no panties” on under “long skirts” and “anal.” We had a good giggle at all of them.

Turns out Sunny is “always alone.” Either he’s incel or secretly married. He also confesses that he is a “premature ejaculator,” but doesn’t show much interest when I suggest ways he can learn, during masturbation, to slow down his lovemaking (check out my “Premature Ejaculation Combat Techniques”). Then again, maybe it’s his lousy cell phone connection. But there’s something very sweet about Sunny that shines through like… the sun(!), and we all share our bonobo love for him, blowing him kisses good-bye.

PHOTOS 1 & 2: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 2 & 3: HARRY SAPIEN

Then Sunny does something marvelous off the air that I can’t talk about (at least, not at the moment), except to say that it’s marvelous.

Which brings me back to humanity’s burgeoning mass murder problem. If only more people could afford the sex therapy they need, including loving guided masturbation, we might not have it, or at least not so much of it. Billionaires should be happy to fork over a few mil to subsidize sex workers for the masses, to help prevent the violent sporadic insurrections that are exploding all over the world. A Hitachi in every pot.

Hitachi Heaven. Photo: Selfie

“Peace on Earth” comes from “Pleasure for All.” This is our human right, along with clean air, food and water, all of which are becoming disturbingly scarce.

Hopefully, we will figure out a way—the Bonobo Way?—to distribute all these basic creaturely needs more equitably amongst us.

Hot Threesome: Max, Me & Hitachi. Photo: Abe Bonobo

In the meantime, we wind up another great show, and I take my sexy new Hitachi and sexier old husband to bed, for a pre-Masturbation Month practice run and orgasmic romantic bliss.

WATCH “MASTURBATION MONTH is COMING” on FACEBOOK LIVE

© April 28, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

https://drsusanblock.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/MP3s/Radio2009_0725_Rubber_Mormons.mp3

Length: 92:21 minutes

Date: 7/25/2009

The Professor lets us talk with one of his subs, RubberNecro, and Melissa brings in the Mormon contingent (James and Lindsay) to watch some good ol’ fashioned flogging. With the Pearl of Great Price in hand and brother Joseph Smith looking down from above, our guests discuss rubber and sacred garments. Perky asses and anal retentiveness. Sex with corpses and baptisms for the dead. James brings out the illusive sexiness that Mormons have and shares some subversive stories from his 2 year mission.

Need to talk? Sext? Webcam? Do it here. Have you watched the show? No? Feel the sex. Don’t miss the Forbidden Photographs—Hot Stuff, look at them closely here. Join our private social media Society. Join us live in studio 😊. Go shopping. Gift shop or The Market Place. DrSusanBlock.tv, real sex TV at your toe tips. Sex Clips Anyone? FASHION, we have fashion! We also have politics. Politics? Have you Read the book? No? How about the Speakeasy Journal? Click here. Ok, how about some free sex advice?

This Saturday LiVE on DrSuzy.Tv: From Tempest Storm to Miley Cyrus…

DrSuzy.Tv is Back with Tempest Storm!

The Dr. Susan Block Show returns to the airwaves this Saturday, Oct. 5th with international sexologist Dr. Susan Block’s first official live broadcast from her brand new DrSuzy.Tv studio in Bonoboville at LAX, featuring an exclusive live interview with living legendary burlesque queen & erotic entertainment sensation Tempest Storm. Famous for her outsized personality & all-natural 40DD-25-35 measurements in the pre-silicone 1950s, Tempest Storm has had the longest career of any burlesque star, spanning over 60 years (so far). READ MORE»

First Bettie, Now Tempest!

Ultra-buxom Tempest starred in Teaserama with Bettie Page (whom Dr. Block interviewed in 1996 in her now classic show, Bettie’s longest, most in-depth interview ever!) and Russ Meyer’s Striptease Girl. READ MORE»

Tempest and Elvis and more!

Tempest Storm was a star on and on the burlesque stage. She was Elvis’ girlfriend, JFK’s mistress and pals with Marilyn Monroe. She was and is loved by millions, but her shameless sexuality was as red a flag as her hair to the hypocrites. She suffered rape and abuse in her youth and, at the height of her career, she was blackballed by Hollywood when she married African-American entertainer Herb Jeffries. Through it all, she kept on stripteasing and enjoying her adventurous, trailblazing life, and now she’s ready to tell her story. This Saturday night’s live appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show is part of “kickstarting” her exciting new feature documentary, directed by Nimisha Mukerji and producer Kaitlyn Regehr, Tempest Storm: Burlesque Queen. Please support this important film!

Stop Slut-Shaming Miley Cyrus!

On this Saturday’s special broadcast, Dr. Block will also say a few words in defense of Miley Cyrus and in opposition to the tsunami of exploitative international slut-shaming–from Sinead to Cher–that has raged against this new twerkalicious erotic entertainment sensation.

Let Miley Twerk in Peace!

“Chubby Checker did the twist. Elvis swiveled his hips. Jagger stuck out his tongue. MJ grabbed his crotch with a big white glove. Madonna wore lingerie. Janet showed her nipple. So get back to work & let Miley twerk.” ~Dr. Suzy

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Left: Your Hostess Dr. Susan Block.

Experience Striptease Therapy with The Block Institute!

You Don’t Have to Go to a Strip Club for Striptease Phone or Webcam Therapy

Tune into DrSuzy.Tv for Striptease Icon Tempest Storm & Call 310-568-0066 For Striptease Therapyanytime READ MORE»

Read it on Dr. Suzy’s Bloggamy: KEGEL KARATE

How One Woman Destroyed Her Molester with the Power of Her Own Pleasure

Natalie called me in tears. She was frustrated, drained and demoralized. Try as she might, whether she masturbated or made love, she couldn’t have an orgasm. She’d get close, but whenever she felt her erotic tension edging toward blissful release, an awful face appeared like a demonic planet rising over the horizon of her soul, paralyzing her body and brain. It was a face she knew well—the smiling, sinister face of her molester… READ MORE»

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“Sex, Science & Sybians with SSSS” now playing on DrSusanBlock.Tv ❤

Education is power, and sex education is sexual power. This DrSuzy.Tv show focuses on the sexual sciences, featuring leading members of The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS). including Dr. Hernando Chaves, Dr. Diana Wiley, Dr. Jim Weinrich, and, Sex Nerd Sandra. We love sex scientists and sex educators, but we can’t forget to take our hats (and pants!) off to the porn stars like Courtney Taylor, Tracey Sweet and Ana FoXXX who all ride the Sybian on this show, a very stimulating and Sybian-ating—example of that remarkable synergy found “only at the Speakeasy” now playing ONLY on DrSuzy.Tv. Don’t miss it! Watch it NOW! Photo of Tracey by JuxLii

Commit Bloggamy with Us: Submit YOUR Guest Editorial Now!

Are You a Bloggamist? Submit Your Blog to Bloggamy in Bonoboville

In preparation for the launch of Bonoboville.com, we are opening up the Bloggamy to all comers–and cummers. A cross between blasphemy, bigamy and every other blog on the Internet, Bloggamy.com has built up quite a following based on Dr. Susan Block’s Journal alone. Imagine what we could do with you? We welcome your guest editorials, diatribes, lunatic ravings, love letters, hate mail, personal relationship analysis, political views, opinion pieces, diary entries, poetry, photos, artworks, whatevah! Be a Bloggamist! Submit Your Bloggamy Here.

Like Our NEW Facebook Pages AND Join Our FB Speakeasy Group :)

Dr. Suzy’s Bonoboville is on Facebook!

In preparation for our social media site, please friend us, even in you’re barely an acquaintance. Also now’s a great time to volunteer to help us build our new Bonoboville in W. LA. Lots of perks! Call 310-568-0066. Ask for Max. Photos Below: JuxLii

LIKE DrSuzy.Tv on Facebook!

Yes, Facebook sucks. FB deleted our 10,000+ Fan Page 4 years ago. But we’re giving it another go now, so LIKE us already! We will love you for it. Besides, how can you go wrong liking the greatest sexuality show on earth?

Like The Dr. Susan Block Institute…

Yep, you gotta like us here too! You don’t have to need therapy to like the Institute, providing education, liberation, sexual health, erotic wealth & peace through pleasure in all kinds of weather. But if you could use a little therapy right about now, call us at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you ❤

AND Follow Our Twitter Twats!

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Earn $$$ As a Webcam or Phone Therapist with the Block Institute

Help others with their sexual problems, pleasures, fantasies and fetishes from the comfort and privacy of your own phone or webcam. Apply now: Email [email protected] or call our office anytime at 310-568-0066. Ask for Trixie.

Help Us Build Our New Garden of Bonoboville in West LA!

So Cali People: Cum Help Out!

Yes, it bears (and bares) repeating: NOW is a great time to volunteer to help us build our new Bonoboville in W. LA. We need carpenters, painters, plumbers, designers, organizers! No Cash But Many Benefits! Free DrSuzy.tv Passes! 420 Time! Sex Toys! Everlasting Love! Call Max at 310-568-0066 or email [email protected] with your phone number.

WANTED: Live-In Editorial Assistant & Female Show Producer

Live, Work & Play in Bonoboville!

The new Block Institute in West LA is looking for a live-in part-time Editorial Assistant AND an On-Camera Female Show Producer. Click the links, read the ads carefully and, if you qualify for either position, please apply! Questions? Call 310-568-0066 and ask for Trixie.

Before the Holiday Rush, Fly Up to Shopping Heaven

DROP BRAS NOT BOMBS!

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Follow The 10 Commandments

“Dr Susan Block’s 10 Commandments of Pleasure are the best to come around in the past 2000 years. Bravo!”
Nina Hartley, adult film star & sex educator

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Sheila Nevins, Executive VP, HBO

“Any man who follows Dr. Suzy’s 10 Commandments of Pleasure will have women eating out of his hand. Any woman will have men groveling at her feet.”
Dr. Tracy Cabot, Best-Selling Author

“Thank God for sexpert Dr. Susan Block, who has the courage to continuously affirm her deeply-held faith in fishnet stockings and other family values…Dr. Block is one of the nation’s leading sexologists, and a very bright and funny woman to boot.”
Robert Scheer, The Los Angeles Times

Need to Talk? Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute

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Length 01:23:39 Date: Feb. 15th, 2020

by Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and Sisters, pagans and Pan paniscus–bonobo sapiens, whippers and snappers, heart-shaped butts and ancient history nuts…

Lupercalia 2020: Drumpf under Gag Order with a Penis Balloon, Ana Quintana, Juici May, Sunshine McWane, Dr. Suzy, Rhiannon Aarons (the Luper), Charlie Zyzzyx. Photo: Jux Lii

Friends, Romans, Countrywomen, lend me your ears…
I come to bury Valentine’s Day… Not to praise it…

Sorry to mangle Shakespeare’s words, but here’s the deal: Valentine’s Day is fake news concocted by the early Catholic Church, enhanced by Hallmark, sweetened by See’s, polished by DaBeers and abetted by Amazon.

The Sexless Story of Saint Valentine

All this pricey, saccharin fakery is based upon a sexless fairy tale starring Saint Valentine, a celibate Christian priest arrested for unlawfully marrying young couples in “evil” pagan Rome of the 4th century A.D.

While imprisoned, so the story goes, Valentine heals his jailer’s blind daughter, and they fall in love. It’s a very pure, godly, sex-free love, the kind a virgin blind girl would have for a priest sworn to celibacy and bound for execution. Then, before he’s beheaded (on February 14th, of course), the priest leaves the girl a farewell note—which she can now see, thanks to his miraculous ophthalmological skills—and he signs it, “Your Valentine.”

Awwwww….!

What a touching story of chaste ideals befitting the High Holiday of Hopelessly Romantic Love, St. Valentine’s Day.

But alas and alack (a big lack), the ideal is the enemy of the real, as Capt’n Max says.

In reality, there were several Christian martyrs named “Valentine,” and no evidence that any of them healed his jailer’s daughter or composed a farewell card.

However, the ideal is more marketable than the real—at least according to Hallmark, DeBeers, See’s, Bezos and Bloomberg—even though it could give you a toothache, cost you three paychecks, or drive you crazy just trying to order an Uber Eats romantic dinner… like we did V-Day night when our account kept hanging, and after an hour of cyber-frustration, we had to open a new account.

I’m all for romance, and I’ve got the over 27-year-old marriage certificate to prove it. I love the red roses, luscious lobster, soft kisses and multiple orgasms my Valentine gave me on Valentine’s Day.

I’m so grateful for our love, as the many lonely, distraught or just plain unsatisfying V-Days before we met that I spent with nobody at all or, even worse, with the *wrong* somebody, are still fresh in my mind.

Me & My Valentine (who looks kind of like Jodie Foster in that “Silence of the Lambs” poster with the moth on her mouth). Photo: Selfie

Even before I learned the history, Valentine’s Day always seemed contrived to me, like the artificially flavored candy-coating on a natural succulent strawberry. The real juicy fruit is in there somewhere, but the sickly sweet shell disguises, sanitizes and commercializes it beyond recognition.

Lusty Lupercalia and the Spirit of Pan

But deep inside the phony, saintly Valentine shell is the original, primal holiday of the heart: the primordial Lupercalia, a heart-felt feast for all the senses, including your sense of history with nothing saintly or celibate about it.

Channeling the Spirit of Pan, Great Goat God of the Wild and Lord of Lupercalia. Photo: Carl Russell

I open the show live from the little Love Church of The Bonobo Way in Bonoboville, channeling the Spirit of Pan, the great horned, horny Greco-Roman goat god of the wild.

As Pan, I snap My Februa with our starting lineup of Commedia Erotica Players. Photo: Carl Russell

The Romans called Pan “Faunus,” connecting him with the “fauna,” aka the nonhuman animals, both wild and domesticated, as he himself was part goat.

For Lupercalia, Pan manifests as “Lupercus,” the shepherd/goatherd god.

Pan teaches a wood nymph to play on his pipes.

But I prefer to call him Pan because that’s the name for the lusty, mischievous, ecosexual God of the Wild that I learned about when I devoured Greek myths as a child, looking for more lusty, earth-positive stories than my Judeo-Christian Bible (which I read cover-to-cover) provided.

I thought Pan was particularly cool because Pan likes to play, and so did I.

The “God” of the Hebrews, Christians and Muslims is a “wrathful” god, occasionally a “loving” god, but never a playful god… well, except when He shows Moses His divine heart-shaped ass. That’s actually a rather Lupercalian moment, and would have been more so if Moses would have swung a leather strap across the sky like he was flogging it, but alas, none of the Biblical translations say that he did.

The Goat God & a Goat

Much later, I learned that some of Pan’s “play” involved bestiality, which I found pretty gross, personally having no desire to have sex with any of my pet cats or parakeets, my neighbors’ dogs or even Puff the Magic Dragon. However, I was fascinated by Greco-Roman mythology, filled with stories of humans mating with gods who take the form of bulls, horses, swans and other non-human animals. And then there were all those lonely real-life goatherds and shepherds making Valentines out of their goats and sheep. We now deplore this “animal abuse,” as well we should, but the abuse of nonhuman animals in our modern agricultural system is far worse, not to mention immensely destructive to our ecosystem, and one of the chief drivers of calamitous climate change.

Valentine’s Day now World Bonobo Day

Pan is also the patron “saint” of the “Make Love Not War” bonobos whose Latin classification is Pan Paniscus.

Happy World Bonobo Day! Help save the bonobos and give The Bonobo Way. Photo: Jux Lii

And now, thanks to the efforts of the Bonobo Project, Valentine’s Day is World Bonobo Day!

Whether you’re married, single, in a couple, a throuple, a commune or a convent, you can honor LOVE with the world’s greatest lovers who are as lusty, mischievous and ecosexual as their patron Pan.

In a sense, World Bonobo Day brings Valentine’s Day little closer to the original Lupercalia.

If any nonhuman animals embody the spirit of Lupercalian lust, it’s the bonobos who swing through the trees, as well as with each other… and love to play, spank, lick and tickled, engaging in communal ecstasy on practically a daily basis.

Our closest genetic cousins, bonobos are also the “peace apes.” Never seen killing each other in the wild or captivity, bonobos show us that peace, through sharing the pleasures of food, sex and other good things, is possible for apes like us.

Indeed, The Bonobo Way  of female empowerment, male well-being, loving strangers, peace through pleasure is the ultimate antidote to the fear and hatred that drives us apart.

Church turns Pan into Satan

Though Jesus in the Gospels is very bonoboësque, preaching peace and love for all, freedom for women and slaves, and compassion for the poor, the early Church (seemingly more influenced by Paul and Augustine than Jesus) was not.

The Church banned the people’s worship of Pan, Faunus and Lupercus. and, over time, they turned playful Pan into the Devil. The Demonization of Pan was quite intense. Sure, Pan was no Catholic priest (though some of those Catholic priests were and are much worse than Pan).  He could be beastly and probably would have had the #MeToo movement after him, but to control people and our “nature,” the Church turned the half-man/half-goat god into the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst.

The rest is Satanic history.

22-year-old me as Arlecchino holding a cross in a New England Commedia performance of “Plastic Cash” in Westport, Conn.

But here in Bonoboville, I reincarnate the God of the Wild as a sort of “Lady Bonobo Pan,” an extension of the Arlecchino and Columbina stock Commedia dell’Arte characters I used to play, post-Yale, with an improvisational acting troupe called New England Commedia.

Nowadays I call our performers, “The Commedia Erotica Bonoboville Players,” who improvise their roles as I tell the story of Lupercalia.

It’s a cross between a school play and a burlesque, topped off with a religious sexual experience: the female ejaculation of pure amrita. Holy Water you won’t find in any Church, except the Church of the Bonobo Way.

If you use your erotic imagination—if the social media-demons haven’t already vaporized your erotic imagination—our cave-like Womb Room is transformed into the womb-like Cave of the Lupercal.

So gather ‘round if you’re feeling frisky and into history…

Gather ’round and I’ll tell you the tale of the Lupercal… Photo Carl Russell

And I’ll tell you a story.

Stars of the Lupercal

The title character and star of the Lupercalia story is the “Luper.”

Photos 1, 3, 4, 5: Jux Lii.  Photo 2: Selfie.

If you don’t know a “luper” from a “leper,” well, Luper is Latin for “she-wolf.”

Our Luper is played for the third time in fine “furry” fashion by multiple SUZY award winner for “Most Well-Rounded Kinkster,” sapiosexual MFA, filmmaker and author and naturally busty sexpot, Rhiannon Aarons.

The other two main characters of our Lupercalia Story are twin brothers, Romulus and Remus, the sons of Mars, the God of War, and Queen Rhea Silvia, daughter of King Numitor of Alba Longa.

Photo 1: Selfie. Photo 2: Jux Lii.  Photos 3 & 5: Carl Russell.  Photo 4: Eric Glowski

You’d think twins of such pedigree would be extremely lucky—and they are—but not at first. Shortly after Romulus and Remus are born, their evil great uncle Amulius tosses them into the Tiber River.

Evil old Great Uncle Amulius is reprised every year in a short but heartfelt performance by Capt’n Max, who was born in Rome and really relishes tossing those kids (played in their infancy by balled up pieces of paper) into the Tiber, cursing them in Italian as they float downstream to almost certain death. Then he steals the kingdom of Alba Longa from his daughter-in-law and her dad.

What a dastardly old dude, though not as bad as Drumpf who locks more and more children in cages or sends them “back” to brutal countries (often torn apart by American interference), essentially condemning them to death.

Then it’s back to our Commedia Erotica reenactment of the Lupercalian origin tale, where the Tiber River is played by Ana and Sunshine waving a long, streaming piece of blue material in the air as Max/Amulius tosses the paper into the “waves.”

Capt’n Max, in his signature role as mean old Great Uncle Amullius, tosses the twin infants, Romulus and Remus, into the Tiber River. Photo: Jux Lii

It wouldn’t be much fun to follow the adventures of two balled-up hunks of paper (unless it was drawn by a really good cartoonist), so we quickly turn our paper twins into human form.

And oh wow, what lovely human forms they take, the Brothers Romulus and Remus being played by beautiful erotic entertainers Juici May and Charlie Zyzzyx,

Charlie Zyzzyx as Remus in the Bonoboville Forest. Photo: Carl Russell

After tossing and turning in the Tiber a bit, Romulus and Remus are miraculously rescued from drowning by the she-wolf.

It really is kind of miraculous, the way it unfolds in our Commedia play. Charlie Zyzzyx makes a stunning Remus, and since Juici May hasn’t shown up and the play is underway, I quick-cast Sunshine as Romulus. In full goat makeup, Sunshine is understandably not too thrilled about having to play the founder of Rome looking like a goat or a cleft palate kid, but she’s a trooper… and a trouper.

Juici May arrives just in time to play the part of Romulus. Photo: Jux Lii

Then, like a Lupercalian miracle, in skips Juici May, ready to play, a half-hour late but looking great.

So we improvise, like good Commedia troupers, without missing too many beats.

I haven’t seen the Divine Miss May in over a year, and I want to hug her and ask her how she is, but we’re in the middle of the beginning of the Lupercalia story, so without much fanfare I welcome Juici May, 2018 SUZY award winner for “Most Bonobo” and “Best Female Ejaculation,” to our new digs. Then before she has a chance to look around or even catch her breath, I instruct her to take on her role as Romulus, hero of Lupercalia.

The indefatigable Juici May is, as always, more than up for the challenge.

Romulus (Juici May) and Remus (Charlie Zyzzyx) drowning in the Tiber. Photo: Jux Lii

Sunshine happily goes back to playing half the Tiber, billowing the waves over the abandoned twins.

Charlie, though a virgin to DrSuzy.Tv, calmly assumes her position, rolling on the floor, her statuesque all-natural, whimsically tattooed body topped off by sea green hair, looking like a water nymph as the waves roll over her and her twin brother (I know, the pronouns get confusing when you’ve got two ladies playing twin brothers).

Of course, Romulus/Juici May and Remus/Charlie are not identical twins, though each looks spectacular in her own way, even while pretending to drown.

A Sex Worker Saves the Day

Just before they are drowned, the Luper (she-wolf) crosses the river and saves the twin boys who are really (in our productions) girls.

Rhiannon Aaron reprises her tour de force performance as the Luper of Lupercalia, the Great Wolf MILF, who’s also a sex worker (Lupa). Photo: Jux Lii

Having played this critical role twice before, Rhiannon knows just when to don her eerie copper-colored Wolf mask and pull down her top below her fur collar, revealing her enormous tits or, since she’s a wolf… teats.

Then, so the story goes, she takes our young heroes to the cave they called the Lupercal and suckles them both.

Photos 1, 5-8: Jux Lii.  Photos 2-4: Eric Glowski

I’m not sure what this says about Romans and their relationships with nonhuman animals, but I bet some of those Tuscan shepherds got their calcium straight from the teat.

Presumably, whatever wolf cubs our Luper might have in the cave are not howling mad that Mama has adopted a couple of human babies, suckling them until they are big and strong.

The Great Wolf Whore suckles our heroes, giving them health, strength and a good time. Photo: Jux Lii

It’s actually not so far-fetched; some children really have been raised by wolves, and maybe they’re better off than those raised by negligent or abusive human parents.

Interestingly, the word “lupa” is Latin slang for “prostitute.” This explains a lot, especially all the suckling.

Wolves and Sex Workers are very nurturing. Photo: Jux Lii

So the savior of Lupercalia, the Luper/Wolf who saves our heroes from death and nurtures them into a healthy life, is also a Lupa/Sex Worker.

Our Romulus and Remus—more into oral passion than passionate oratory—tune into the primal spirit of the She-Wolf, the “Sacred Whore” of the original Valentine’s Day, the Great Wolf-MILF of ancient Rome.

Real wolves are great nurturing mothers. Sex workers are also often nurturing, giving their clients not just sex, but love, compassion and understanding.

Come Let Us Play… in the cave-like Womb Room sanctuary of the Little Love Church of the Bonobo Way. Amen and AWOMEN. Photo: Jux Lii

So, save the wolves, and decriminalize sex work now!

The Founding of Rome (not Reme)

Now grown up and having heard the story of their almost-murders, Romulus and Remus vow revenge on their evil Great Uncle Amulius. They return to Alba Longa to kill the mean old man and return Alba Longa to their Granddad Numitor.

Whipping Presidunce tRump Baby under gag order with a big Valentine-red balloon dick crafted by Sunshine. Photo: Jux Lii

We don’t reenact the murder, but we do whip our tRumpy doll, keeping him under gag-order with a Lupercalian red dick balloon, courtesy of our balloon-artist-in-residence, Sunshine McWane.

Leaving their home town for seven auspicious hills, Romulus and Remus decide to undertake building a whole new city that they plan to rule together.

Romulus and Remus fight over a fence. Photo: Carl Russell

But these boys are sons of Mars, not bonobos, so they quarrel about a fence which is really a wall (sound familiar?).

Suddenly, in a fit of sibling rivalry like Cain killing his brother Able in the Judeo-Christian Bible, Romulus kills his brother Remus.

Romulus kills his brother Remus, as the Wolf sadly watches (though instead of killing, we flog). Photo: Jux Lii

Fratricide is a recurring theme among the ancients, both pagans and monotheists.

Being bonoboësque, we don’t do any killing in our reenactment.

Photo 1: Eric Glowski.  Photos 2-4: Jux Lii.  Photo 5: Carl Russell.

Instead, Juici May as Romulus give’s Charlie/Remus’ heart-shaped ass a good flogging with a Lupercalian red Jux Leather flogger.

Then Charlie/Remus roles over and plays dead, like a beautiful, well-trained, green-haired German shepherd.

Now that his beloved brother Remus is dead, Romulus mourns… but not for long! After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Photo: Eric Glowski

According to the legend, Romulus “regrets” killing Remus (which Juici May acts out with great drama), but he doesn’t lose much sleep before founding the city of both of their dreams, naming it Rome, after himself, conveniently forgetting his beloved bro.

Otherwise, Rome would be called “Reme.”

Moreover, “romance” would be called “remance,” Augustus Caesar would be the first Reman Emperor, the Vatican would be the capital of the Reman Catholic Church, Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck would go on a Reman Holiday, and so on.

HERstory might be different, but HIStory is written by the killers and their scribes. Photo: Carl Russell

Alas for poor Remus, but since hunter-gather times, history has been written by the winners, the killers and survivors of humanity’s bloody spats and regrettable wars.

Frat-Cave Fun

But Remus isn’t completely gone. His spirit lives on in a college fraternity, the Luperci Fabii, as does that of Romulus in the Luperci Quintilii.

Sacrificial Goat and College Loincloth in the Frat Cave. Photo: Jux Lii

As time passes, these two “fraternities,” populated by young, nearly naked, Roman “frat boys,” meet at the Ides of February every year within that dark, womb-like cave of the Lupercal where the She-Wolf/Sex Worker (Luper/Lupa) once suckled and loved their twin great-great-grandfathers, and where her Lupine spirit still resides.

In the primeval cave, the naked young frat bros and their priestly leaders honor the great Goat God Pan by sacrificing a real goat.

Photos 1, 4, 5: Carl Russell.  Photos 2, 3, 6: Jux Lii

Our goat is played by Sunshine, a proud Capricorn, the astrological “goat” sign, reprising her SUZY-award-winning role from Lupercalia 2019.

According to the legend, they also sacrifice a dog, but that’s too gross, especially since we just lost our beloved Betsy doggie.

The Luper flogs the Sacrificial Goat.. or is this meat-tenderizing? Photo: Jux Lii

So we just focus on the goat, “sacrificing” her through flogging, not killing.

Rhiannon the Luper/Lupa does most of the flogging with a big red Jux Leather flogger.

Using a fresh blood red lipstick, I draw the sign of the heart on Charlie/Remus’ uplifted forehead. Photo: Carl Russell

Then the high priest marked the boys’ foreheads with the blood of the sacred beast.

In Bonoboville, we use red lipstick instead of goat’s blood—which would be a little messy.

I draw hearts on Juici May’s, Charlie’s and Rhiannon’s foreheads uplifted to Olympus.

Sunshine requests an X to mark her spot.

With Liberty and Februa for All. Photo: Carl Russell

Upon being marked, the Lupercalians laughed and feasted on fresh roasted goat and got very drunk on winter wine.

Then the least drunk among them cut strips from the goatskin, making loincloths.

They also cut thin leather strips into whips they called “februa,”and yes class, that’s where we get our name for the month of “February.”

Lupercalia Whip-A-Thon. Photo: Jux Lii

Our februa are made by JuxLii of Jux Leather, perennial sponsors of Lupercalia in Bonoboville.

Running of the Luperci

Thus equipped and fairly inebriated, they sprinted out of their womb-like cave, laughing and howling like wolves.

Running like virile young Cupids, they raced through the hills and villages on their way into Rome, wielding their goatskin februa, gaily whacking the hands, backs and behinds of willing women, also drunk, looking for luck, love and perhaps a baby.

It was consensual—at least, mostly consensual—and not gender-discriminating; they also whipped willing men.

They believed that such sacred Lupercalian whacks ensured fertility in barren women and virility in listless men.

It’s not be as scientific as an IVF clinic, but it sure did whip the local populace up into a frenzy for sex, often creating a Roman baby boom around harvest time.

All the Luperci whip Lady Bonobo Pan with long-stemmed red roses. Photo: Jux Lii

Whether for procreation or recreation, all that public whipping and fornication was a lot sexier than a paper Valentine.

In fact, it was a little too sexy for the early Catholic Church which squelched Lupercalian enthusiasm at the end of the 5th century by not only making Lupercalia illegal, but by turning Pan into the Devil, branding the horny old Lupercalian goat and all communal sacred sex as “Satanic.”

Then they plunked Saint Valentine’s Day down on essentially the same date as the old Lupercalia, appropriating the vivid color of goat’s blood smeared on human skin as its signature shade: red with a touch of white for goat’s milk.

The also turned Cupid (Eros to the Greeks), generally portrayed as a sexy, virile, young man, into the innocent sexless baby Cupid that only a pedophile could find erotic.

The Heart is an Ass

It’s long been my view that another symbol of Valentine’s Day is Lupercalian in origin. That is, the classic Valentine “heart” looks nothing like the cardiac organ for which it seems to be named. It does, however, look like a set of well-whipped buns.

No wonder we call the perfect ass “heart-shaped.” Because the heart logo is shaped like the perfect ass.

The Church may have banned Lupercalia for centuries, sugar-poisoning its lusty history with the forced romance of Valentine’s Day, but we are bringing it back, from the annals of prehistoric Rome to the anals—and hot heart-shaped asses—of modern Bonoboville.

“Floggers Not Flowers!” is the battle cry of the unValentine Lupercalian.

Though we enjoy flogging with flowers, especially long-stemmed Valentine roses.

Spank dat Ass with a Red Red Rose. Photo: Abe Bonobo

Why not?

It’s better to have your buns beaten (consensually) on Lupercalia than your heart broken (badly) on Valentine’s Day.

Feel the Bern!! #GoBonobos for Bernie, the “Most Bonobo Presidential Candidate.”

Better loving through socialism.

Side note: Check out my Anti-Valentine to Rush Limbaugh, King of Creeps and Godfather of Modern American Bigotry. Also in Counterpunch.

Though I love love, I’ll take communal lust and pleasure over commercialized love and pressure anytime.

Actually, I usually like to celebrate both.

Assume the position for Lupercalian ecstasy. Photo: Abe Bonobo

Assume the position for a Lupercalian whipping (or a nice Valentine boink)!

It’s Holy Water! A Squirting Lupercalian Climax

In ancient Rome, all that whipping led to a lot of boinking.

Juicy May prepares to mount the Motorbunny. Photo: Jux Lii

Here in Bonoboville, it leads to Juici May mounting the Motorbunny for a big squirting orgasm.

I hand the controls to Rhiannon, who in fine Luper/Lupa fashion, nurtures those good vibrations.

Then Sunshine, Charlie and I take turns whipping and smacking Juici’s fine behind and pinching her hard hot nipples.

Juici Little Devil on the Machine. Photo: Eric Glowski

After just a minute or two, she squirts like a geyser, forming a perfect arc that none of the cameras really capture—though some catch the squirt just emerging from her urethra—but all of us there in the Womb Room Cave of the Lupercal witness the fleeting miracle with our own eyes.

Juici May’s Arc de Triomphe cascades triumphantly across the floor, landing right on Jux Lii’s kilt, making it a “squirt skirt.”

Photos 1-3: Jux Lii.  Photos 4-5: Carl Russell

Wow!

Another Juici May marvel of erotic expression.

Though it spurts forth from Juici May, it’s like all of us are squirting in a great orgiastic, ecstatic, Galentine, Lupercalian, bonoboesque, communal orgasm.

Photos 1-4: Jux Lii.  Photo 5: Selfie

Shock & Awe… with no casualties.

It’s Holy Water, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners.

Video Stills: Gideon Grayson

Certainly, this liquid is more sacred than the “blessed” H20 in those little white plastic bottles labeled “Holy Water” in fake gold.

A substantial splash lands on the floor in front of us, and I invite the faithful to come forth and lick it up off the tiles, if they so desire.

Charlie eats the chocolate off the floor. Photo: Carl Russell

Despite many straining to get a closer look, and perhaps a whiff (thought Juici May’s female ejaculate has very little, if any, aroma), no one takes me up on my offer to lick it up off the floor.

Later, Charlie confesses that she would have licked it up, if I had “forced” her to do so.  Alas, though some might call me “pushy,” I never “force” anyone to do anything.  Lady Pan that I am, I’m adamant about getting enthusiastic consent, especially in the #MeToo era.

Charlie eats a chocolate out of my hand which was soaked in Juici May’s squirt. Photo: Jux Lii

By the time, she’s told me this, the clean-up crew has mopped up the Holy Water; we also don’t want to be the recipients of a slip-and-fall lawsuit.

Now knowing Charlie likes the “force me” dynamic, I pretend-force her to eat a Valentine chocolate off the squirt-mopped floor.

She follows my command with more enthusiastic consent than a hungry puppy, and I hand-feed her another as she licks my palm.

It being Lupercalia, we show off a few pages of the SPANK ‘n’ Art edition of Dr. Susan Block’s SPEAKEASY JOURNAL, featuring Lupercalia scenes with Rhiannon as the Luper as well as a member of Dominatrixes against Donald Trump (D.A.D.), a floggerific Spanksgiving, the recipient of a baguette spanking on Bastille Day and much more.  There’s also a “double-truck” Jux Lii photo of me spanking Juici May into a squirting orgasm on Spanksgiving 2018.

Speaking of spanking, I’m pleased to announce I’ve been invited by DomCon Headmistress Cyan to be a Mistress of Ceremonies for DomCon 2020.

Spank dat Heat-Shaped Ass! Photo: Jux Lii

Don’t miss it!

Winding Up Another Lusty Lupercalia

We do a little more whipping, whacking, kissing and consenting.

Lupercalian Feast! Ana’s chicken and rice instead of goat meat and vodka and champagne instead of wine. Photo: Selfie

And before we can say “go bonobos,” it’s time to close another great show.

The after-party overflows with love, play, politics, gossip, flirtation and seemingly endless conversation.

Juici Kiss. Photo: Selfie

What a great group!

We chat, eat, drink, kiss and canoodle into the wee hours.

Photos: Selfies

Finally, with the last guests still lingering over drinks and chocolate, My Valentine and I slip away for one last V-Day roll in the hay, running with the Luperci into Olympian heavenly dreams.

Happy Lupercalia 2020 from Bonoboville!

Now assume the position for a good Lupercalian whipping… and for making love.

We love you.

My Valentine & I get ready to Run with the Luperci up to Orgasmic Olympus. Photo: Selfie

© Feb. 15, 2020 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.

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