“Slut-Shaming: “Why We Do It, How to Stop It” on DrSuzy.Tv: Jade Song (holding pix of featured guest Veronica Monet and Malala), John Clark, Max Lobkowicz, Dr. Suzy, Mar Sorell, Skye, Lily Kirkword (holding pic of Miley Cyrus). Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:33:25      Date: Oct. 12, 2013

From Sinead calling Miley a “prostitute” in her now notorious poison-pen Open Letter to the Taliban dubbing Malala an “obscenity” as they shot her in the head, slut-shaming is rampant throughout the world. This is nothing new, as provocative females have been slut-shamed to death since Queen Cleopatra killed herself to avoid being paraded through Rome as a “whore.” But one important difference now is that neither Miley nor Malala have killed themselves, apologized or shut up and tried to pretend to be good, subservient, little hypocrites. In fact, they are increasing their power and influence in women’s education (Malala) and smart-ass superstardom (Miley), even as they crush their would-be slut-shamers to the moral equivalent of dust. And to that I say Amen…and AWOMEN.

The topic of “Slut-Shaming: Why We Do It and How to Stop It” is so important that I just have to devote pretty much our entire third live broadcast to it (listen free above) from our brand new DrSuzy.Tv studio in Bonoboville at LAX. My featured guest (live via phone from Northern Cali) is Veronica Monet, certified sexologist, former high-end escort (at one point, commanding as much as $2500 an hour for her services!) and author of Sex Secrets of Escorts: Tips From a Pro. I’ve been following Veronica’s work for years, but I contacted her recently when I heard her interview with my old friend Sally Coxe, director of the burgeoning Bonobo Conservation Initiative that is making great strides in reducing the horrible practice of bonobo poaching in the Congo, currently pushing our kissing cousins to the edge of extinction (to support BCI’s work, adopt a bonobo today!). Since Veronica’s show is called “The Shame Free Zone” and she’s written articles on the harm slut-shaming causes to individuals and society, defending and redefining SLUTS as “Sexual Liberated Unique Talented Sisters,” I figured she’d have a lot to say about the subject, and I wasn’t disappointed.

We talk about slut-shaming of all kinds (check out Wikipedia’s definition of slut-shaming, if you still don’t know what it is), from twerk phobia to the Taliban, including the devastating effect it can have on so many women as well as many men and transsexuals. We also talk about the bonobo females who “refused to be slut-shamed” and who practice a very interesting form of prostitution, as well as the art of seduction. Warm but feisty, Veronica prides herself on speaking her mind in conversation with powerful men. So I’m not surprised when she and Capt’n Max get into a heated discussion over whether all politicians are horny power-abusers (Max) or just some of them are (Veronica).

Meanwhile, in-studio, we do nasty things with foam fingers, giving kudos to Miley’s stylist Lisa Katnic for coming up with the idea of giving the finger to Miley (who wore a left foam finger on her right hand) to mix it up with giant dancing teddy bears and Robin Thicke. Mr. Thicke, whose name says more about the head on his shoulders than the one between his legs, certainly showed himself to be a double-dealing coward on Oprah, when he backed away from Miley, support-wise, even though he sure didn’t back away from her when she twerked his “kahunas,” as Oprah put it. As if he didn’t know. We all know he knew. But then, slut-shaming doesn’t have much to do with honesty.

That doesn’t mean you can’t offer artists like Miley constructive criticism. We give kudos to Joan Price who wrote a much nicer Open Letter to Miley than Sinead’s jealous, flaming, whining slut-shamer. When Miley told Matt Lauer that people over 40 are “not sexual” and that Matt, being 55, is “definitely not sexual,” Joan wrote an Open Letter to Miley About Sex After (Gasp!) 40 that should give the girl some hope for the future. I can almost forgive 20-year-old Miley for figuring her elders are “not sexual,” what with all the slut-shaming that’s come her way from the likes of Sinead and Cher—she who made a name for herself wearing outfits that show off every inch of her fabulous plastic surgery—and countless middle-aged newscasters waggling their real fingers at her, not just the foam kind.

We also take the Nobel team to task for passing over the amazing, inspirational Malala Yousafzai for the prize, instead awarding it to the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons. Not that we’re *for* chemical weapons—who is?—but they’re just one kind of weapon, and their possible employment was almost used as an excuse to start a war and kill even more people. Malala, gracious and wise beyond her years, congratulated the OPCW as she explained her philosophy, “Always be hopeful. No expectations,” even as the Taliban thanked the Nobelers for not giving the prize to this “immature girl,” and vowed to assassinate her whenever they get another chance. Stay safe, Malala!

Despite the torrid subject matter, it’s a laid-back night in our new and still quite raw DrSuzy.Tv studio. My old radio show producer from my “Date Night” days on KIEV 870-AM, John Clark (the late great Lynn Redgrave’s ex), stops in to offer his two shillings on slut-shaming in the media, my new DrSuzy.Tv show producer Lily Kirkwood talks about being slut-shamed for doing burlesque in the mid-west, and one of my phone therapists, Skye, talks about the terror of growing up in the shadow of slut-shaming in Guatemala.

That reminds me of the first time I was seriously slut-shamed on a very personal level. I was sweet 16, and I’d just had wonderful first-time sex with my boyfriend Ricky. The sex was great. I didn’t have an orgasm, but then, I didn’t know an orgasm from an orange. All I knew was that we were in love, and he felt incredibly good to me, better and more real than anything thus far in my shallow, yearning, suburban existence. Then his parents found out about us having sex. One of their friends had seen us go into a clinic to get birth control, and when we got home, they were waiting for us, their frowns hard enough to cut ice. Ricky’s father took Ricky into the bedroom and had a talk about being a man and using condoms. Ricky’s mother hustled me into the kitchen, and then slut-shamed me with an avalanche of expletives, practically spitting in my face. She called me a “cheap whore” (she’d rather her son have sex with a pricey call-girl?), and told me that if she ever caught me near Ricky again, she’d tell my parents and my guidance counselor at school (where I was a straight-A student bound for Yale) what a “cheap whore” I was. I was stunned into abject silence. I must admit I didn’t have Miley’s moxie or Malala’s courage. I let Ricky’s mother slut-shame me to the core. I couldn’t bear to be known as a whore, regardless of price. I spent the next year studying hard and being anorexic, going down in weight to 72 pounds. I stopped speaking to Ricky and pretty much all boys. I barely even socialized with girls. This went on for about eight months until finally, with considerable effort, I pulled myself out of the death trap into which this bitter woman’s slut-shaming had hurled me, and started eating and desiring sex, love and life again. Then, you might say, I more than made up for lost time!

And now here I am, a proud slut (in Veronica’s and Slut-Walk’s sense of the word), doing an awesome show on slut-shaming. I hope it helps you to stop slut-shaming others (we all slide into it sometimes, when we’re jealous, judgmental or for a cheap laugh), and to stand up for yourself when people try to do it to you. Stick and stones may break your bones, but never let the slut-shamers shame you.

And a HUGE Happy Birthday to Trixie Plenty! Hope you’re having a slutty good time in Vegas!