Length 01:43:19 Date: Feb. 2nd, 2019

by Dr. Susan Block

It’s Groundhog Day, and like Punxsutawney Phil, I poke my head out of my little hole in the ground, after over a month of hibernation. Not only do I declare an early Spring, I broadcast “Sex, Fun, Wisdom” and Valentine Season Love live from the Womb Room of the little Love Church of the Bonobo Way in Bonoboville.

With Betsey, Miguel, Ana, Mar, Onyx, Max, Blossom & Abe. Photo: Selfie

Not that there’s much of a congregation for this show as we don’t invite any guests or volunteers; it’s just us Bonoboville homies in da house: Abe Bonobo runs tech, Ana and Miguel fluff the set, Mars FX switches, Lily Garnet live-tweets, Harry Sapien and Gideon Grayson run video cams, Onyx Devall shoots stills, as Blossom Green to my left, chats with our Facebook Live fans while Capt’n Max  to my right, steers our Ship of Fools for Love… and lust. Last but not least, Betsey, our 93-year-old canine angel, is on guard in her puppy parka, protecting us from harm.

AVN: Mother of Porn Podcasts

Though I start from my usual position, reclining on the bed, I move to a desk that’s more or less like the desks or consoles that “regular” talk show hosts sit at. 

PHOTOS: ONYX DEVALL

When I started in radio on WYBC, KIEV and KFOX, I sat at desks like this. Then as my shows got sexier, I felt the urge to recline, and pretty soon, just like the TV chefs did their cooking shows from a kitchen surrounded by pots and pans, I was doing my sexuality shows from bed, surrounded by dildos and vibrators.

The Dr. Susan Block Show live from Bonoboville, Broadcast Desk. Photo: Onyx Devall

Since then, many others in media have imitated and elaborated upon the boudoir setting, but The Dr. Susan Block Show was the original live broadcast from bed. Yes indeed, I’ve been doing sex podcasts since before there were even podcasts. Speaking of which, much gratitude to AVN for naming me as one of their five “favorite” sex podcasters and the “Mother of Porn Podcasts.”  Interesting award. I prefer to call it a “sex podcast,” since porn is only one of many sex-related topics I deal with. Still, I can’t control what people call me, and I’m just grateful to be acknowledged without having spelled my name wrong.

Help Us Move!

This is a “test” show. First, it’s a test of my respiratory system which, like so many of my fellow humans, has been ravaged by climate change, which in California means the ever-expanding fires, burning everything in their paths and sending toxic fumes into our delicate lungs and sinuses, coupled with the high levels of car and construction pollution.

Fellating My Nebulizer before the show. Photo: Selfie

So I took a month off to recuperate, and with two “big” shows coming up—Valentine Splosh on February 9^th, and on February 16^th Lupercalia (the original pagan Valentine’s Day) and the launch of the spanking new SPANK ‘n’ Art edition of Dr. Susan Block’s SPEAKEASY JOURNAL—I thought I’d do this little “warm-up” show.

We’re also testing this more talk-oriented format which we’ll be doing more in the future—but don’t worry, we’ll also do our big wild holiday bacchanals—after we move. Oh yeah, did you know we’re moving to a great new undisclosed location? If you’re interested in helping us move—whether you’ve got a truck, a bunch of empty boxes or want to donate your packing skills, email us at blockfrontoffice@gmail.com or call 310-568-0066 and ask for Harry. Awesome prizes and lifetime love and gratitude to the best helpers!

Speakeasy, Cuckolds, Roger Stone(d), Pubes and V-Day

So there I am, behind a desk most of this show, a little restrained (freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second), but at least I can masturbate under it without anyone knowing.

PHOTOS: ONYX DEVALL

The rest of the 90 minutes, I pretty much free-associate, going through some of gorgeous pages—the “Paper Theater,” as Max calls it—of our new SPANK ‘n’ Art Journal, as well as our first delicious SPLOSH ‘n’ Art edition.

I also talk about America’s most noxious swinger and cuck-calling cuckold, Roger Stone(d) (also in Counterpunch), my existential pot predicament (now that everybody else can smoke weed legally, I can’t because of my damn respiratory issues), as well as the various outside magazines we’re in this month. In Cosmo, I address the thorny (well, hairy) question of “To shave or not to shave (your pubes)?” The Men’s Health article is about using the opportunity of Valentine’s Day to have a serious talk, aka “the talk,” about your relationship status.  Though the editors seem to think this is an awesome idea—they’re probably millennials who like the concept of double-tasking V-Day with both scintillating romance and relationship evaluation—I have to nix it in favor of sharing fun and bonoboesque pleasures you both (or all) enjoy.

When my HBO special producer Sheila Nevins realized they didn’t have an “HBO Sex” jacket, she gave me this HBO Boxing jacket… which is pretty cool (though I’m not exactly a boxing fan). Photo: Onyx Devall

Thanks to the commercializing of everything, the High Holiday of Love is stressful enough without adding the pressure of making your significant other sit down with you for a serious relationship analysis. There are always exceptions, of course, but in general, pressure is the enemy of pleasure, and V-Day should be a time of bonoboesque pleasure and physical release like the Lupercalia, the original pagan Valentine’s Day, was in the days before the Church and extreme capitalism drained the wild communal eroticism from the festival, replacing it with chaste saintly “love” and then commercialized fake romance.

Celebrate World Bonobo Day on Valentine’s Day

Being a sexologist, I try my best to put the sex, fun and deep primeval wisdom back in this important ancient holiday, the Ground Hog Day of Love. So we’ll have our Valentine Splosh on Saturday, February 9^th, and Lupercalia on February 16^th along with the launch of SPANK ‘n’ Art which works out perfectly, since Lupercalia centers around consensual, communal spanking and flogging Valentine heart-shaped buns.  

Getting ready for World Bonobo Day with Betty Bonobo. Photo: Onyx Devall

We’re also looking forward, in our fifth great Year of the Bonobo, to celebrating World Bonobo Day on February 14^th , V-Day itself.

“World Bonobo Day” was conceived by our friends at The Bonobo Project and recognized in House Resolution 738 by Congressman Scott Peters (D- San Diego), “resolved that the United States House of Representatives, encourages everyone to participate in activities that help to educate the public about the need to protect these uniquely matriarchal, loving and endangered great apes.”

Instead of making V-Day all about YOU-YOU-YOU, why not take the focus – and pressure – off yourself and #GoBonobos for bonobos, the poster apes for Valentine (and all kinds of) LoVE. It’s the Bonobo Way. Photo: Onyx Devall

V-Day is so “me-me-me” or “we-we-we”; sometimes the pressure on being your “best self,” your sexiest self or even your most loving self (or on the other hand, getting exactly what you-you-you want for Valentine’s Day), just backfires and ruins the whole holiday, turning February 15^th into a Day-After-Valentine’s Day Massacre, sometimes resulting in real bloody tragedy, though mostly the damage is to our feelings.

So why not avoid focusing on yourself and your relationship, or lack thereof, and focus instead on the new Valentine’s Day ambassadors, the Make Love Not War bonobo chimpanzees who swing through the trees as well as with each other? See them at the San Diego Zoo, read about them or watch a video, and donate what you can to help save the highly endangered bonobos from extinction. Join me and other celebrities, like renowned actress and female empowerment advocate Ashley Judd, in supporting Lola ya Bonobo and The Bonobo Conservation Initiative (BCI), as well as The Bonobo Project, all of which are actively helping to save the wild bonobos from extinction. I know there are many good causes, especially among endangered species, but the bonobos are our closest cousins and they can teach us so much about ourselves and our potential for female empowerment, as well as male well-being and peace through pleasure, but only if we keep them alive.

The good folks at the Bonobo Project will celebrate World Bonobo Day 2019 with fellow bonobo lovers and friends at the Blind Lady Ale House in San Diego, Thursday evening, 2.14.19. There will be “bonobo brew,” a silent auction and giveaway gift baskets filled with bonobo-oriented goodies, including signed copies of The Bonobo Way. All proceeds go to The Bonobo Project.

Golden Showers, Groundhogs, Rich Pigs and Sinus-Clearing Orgasms

Though I can’t smoke pot, I do a very PG-rated Bonoboville Communion, licking the salt from Max’s wrist, and waterboarding myself with just a sip of Agwa de Bolivia Herbal Coca Leaf Liqueur, delicious but strong when you haven’t had a drink in over a month.

Flogging Blossom’s Bottom with Goddess Phoenix’s Fiber-Optic Whip. Photo: Onyx

Meanwhile, Max tells heart-warming stories about our life together that are just a little bit embarrassing, but that’s married life for you. Mid-show, he announces he’s going to “take a pee,” whereupon we forget what we were talking about and listen to him peeing, since he leaves his headset mic on in the restroom. Well, we don’t quite hear the actual tinkle over the music and our own chatter, but we sure do hear the flush. Wow. Golden shower fetishists will savor this moment.  

PHOTOS 1&2: ONYX.  PHOTO 3: ABE.  PHOTO 4: SELFIE

Blossom giggles and chats back and forth with listeners on Facebook Live, all of whom are too shy to actually call in. I know it’s hard for people these days to use their phones as phones. I mean, people are addicted to looking at their phones and frantically typing messages, but to actually talk on the phone is quite strange. I still feel it’s the best, most intimate way to communicate especially about sex, sometimes even more intimate than real life, and certainly juicier than texting and messaging. And hey, I usually charge $3.95/minute for my phone sex therapy time, but if you call in during the show it’s free. Ask me a question, tell me a story or make a comment about sex, politics, love or just LIFE, reality or the fantasies in the erotic theater of the mind. The call-in number is 310-568-0066 or you can call toll-free: 1-866-289-7068.  Come out of your little hole in the ground, little Ground Hog, and give us a call.

Groundhog Hugs & HBO Boxing. Photo: Abe Bonobo

In the meantime, we may not have billions, but with a little bit of good sex and a lot of love, we can keep warm in the cold and fall asleep at night. With that in mind, my Captain whisks me from studio bed to private bed (I am a woman of many beds), whereupon he makes like a groundhog and burrows into my hole, coming up with a beautiful, sinus-clearing, multi-orgasmic, early Spring.

Prime Mates Pre-Orgasm. Photo: Selfie

© February 2, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.