F.D.R. (F*ck Da Rich): Ecosexual Earth Day +Jelly Bean Sex Toys & Politix
F.D.R. (F*ck Da Rich):
Love the Earth You Make Love On
by Dr. Susan Block.
Breathing in the fragrant flowers and trees, the birds and the bees—what’s left of them anyway, as scores of birds, bees and ancient flowering trees fall dead from toxic effects of the Capitalocene—our Love Train rolls through Earth Day, The Bonobo Way, 2023.
Not that we know where we’re going, but the goal is the journey, and ours is powered by bonobo love, hot talk, sexy lefty politics, jelly bean kink, drag queen appreciation (#GoBonobos for Rhonda DeSantis!), organic orgasms, fresh fruit kisses, support for porn stars fighting off Neo-Puritan Neo-Nazi hackers, schadenfreude for Elona Musky’s earth-polluting premature ejacu-explosion, anti-fascist lessons in love, Earth Day memories and ecosexual fantasies.
The First Earth Day
I remember the first Earth Day back in 1970. Yes, I’m that old, though I was only in junior high—and actually pretty high on a little weed (my lifelong love affair with Mary Jane having begun a few months earlier in the Sunday School Bible closet) and a lot of good vibrations. Some 30,000 other concerned Earthlings gathered with me on Belmont Plateau in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park to express our fervent, hippie-and-science-informed desire to protect our mutual Mother, the Earth, from human greed and corporate trash.
The first Earth Day felt momentous. Looking back, I wish I’d taken photos but most of us didn’t have cameras back then, and none of us had cell phones. We’d all seen the first televised photos from space of the “pale blue dot,” a sobering sight that motivated us to resolve to clean up the mess we were making.
Now, 53 years later, it’s clear that we’ve failed. After all, back in 1970, the Earth was a lot better off than it is now.
Our planet contained less than four billion people back then. Now it wobbles under the weight of over eight billion, with billions of tons of garbage crowding our landfills, island-sized trash patches littering our oceans and various climate catastrophes escalating as greenhouse gasses and other pollutants proliferate, and with not much human effort to mitigate them.
From Tricky Dick to a Parade of Presidential Dickheads
And then there are our myriad social problems—many exacerbated by climate change—that Capt’n Max, Unscene Abe, our callers, commenters and I discuss, as we belatedly toast 4/20, and we recall the bad old days when Richard Nixon was forced to resign in shame. However, recent administrations are worse for the Earth.
Seven months after the first Earth Day, “Tricky Dick” (beloved by the odious Roger Stone) created the Environmental Protection Agency. He was also president when abortion was ruled legal in the now defunct case of Roe vs. Wade.
Little did we optimistic hippies, scientists and schoolkids hanging out on Belmont Plateau know that in terms of human rights, war, economic equality, social safety nets and—most critically—the environment, America would go from pretty bad to much bloody awful.
I’m no environmental saint, but since 1970, I’ve tried to do my part, and Max is pretty ecologically minded, which is one of the reasons that Bonoboville exists.
Shoutout to Dr. SerenaGaia Anderlini D’onofrio who edited Ecosexuality: When Nature Inspires the Arts of Love, for which I’m proud to have written the introduction. As we honor Earth Day, it seems that ecosexuality has never been more vital to the survival of life on Earth. The theme for Earth Day 2023, “Invest in Our Planet,” sounds a little Wall Street, but I’ll use it: Invest in our Planet by buying Ecosexuality and The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure.
Now more than ever, bonobos need our help. Besides being Earth Day, April is Ape Awareness Month, so please give what you can to Lola ya Bonobo, which rescues bonobo orphans; and also consider donating to the Bonobo Conservation Initiative, which is creating a Bonobo Peace Forest to stop the killing of wild bonobos for bushmeat.
Happy Jelly Bean Day!
When we’re hungry on Earth Day, we think of nuts and berries, not jelly beans, but it happens that April 22 is also National Jelly Bean Day, as we are told by Chris Gagliardi, who calls in from New Jersey to share jelly bean stories and some hot tips for how to use them as sex toys.
If you like jelly beans—and crazy, kinky ideas of what to do with jelly beans—you’ll love this show. Though if you’re a fan of America’s Jelly Bean President, you won’t like my assessment of Ronald Reagan as one of America’s worst presidents ever.
Still feel these artificially colored oblong balls of gelatinized sugar shellacked in beeswax are the opposite of Earth Day? Well, you’re right. Though, Chris assures us, there are vegan jelly beans, and next Earth Day/Jelly Bean Day, they will be on the Bonoboville Menu.
If the Earth wasn’t enough of a mess already, Elon has erupted! And not in the good way. He launched the world’s biggest rocket, only for it to burst into flames—which just shows bigger isn’t always better. According to Grimes, that rocket lasted longer than Elon usually does. And speaking of Earth Day, Elon’s starship explosion destroyed a lot of wildlife. Yet he’s still the world’s second richest human being (first is Bernard Arnault), despite losing $13 billion in 24 hours.
Ronald Reagan might well celebrate that factoid with a handful of jelly beans.
Isn’t it amazing how we don’t have money to feed the poor, but we have plenty of cash to give one of the richest men alive so he can thrust his faulty space dick into the sky and explode all over us? Giving the Earth a nonconsensual facial worth of rocket parts and space junk is definitely not good for Earth Day or any day.
Also, Elona’s blue Twitter drive is a big bust, with the once-coveted blue checks now a symbol of being a pathetic member of Cult Musky. And yes, you can smell it, like toxic waste.
Neo-Nazi Neo-Puritans Hack Porn Stars
The violent and ruthless Nazi crusade against porn (more ammosexual incels and Nick Fuentitties follwers) has joined forces with Exodus Cry which, you may recall, almost forced OnlyFans to censor all porn. Of course, two-faced blue-checked Exodus Cry/TraffickingHub’s Laila Mickelwait tries to have it both ways, denouncing the Nazis but surmising that Pornhub (and Riley Reid?) sic’ed these Nazis on themselves…? This sort of victim-blaming sounds ridiculous (and it is), but it reminds Max and me of how the LAPD suggested that I called the police to raid our broadcast studio because I needed PR. In a great “Legally Blonde” moment, I proved them wrong in court. Nevertheless, this kind of accusatory lie is vile, hurtful and wrong, and gives the Nazis (and the police) a pass to do it again and again.
It’s happening more frequently, which means we sexy lefties have to fight (nonviolently) harder, even as YouTube censors our voices, while corporate America and the Perma-War Machine pollutes our Mother Earth and destroys humanity’s future. As long as we can love, we can Make Love, Not War.
© April 22, 2023 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.
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