Length 01:25:03  Date: July 17, 2021

by Dr. Susan Block. 

With so much of life on Earth being burned, flooded, starved, suffocated, tornado’ed and fried alive, the world’s two richest men—Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk—plus another fly boy billionaire with less billions (SIR Rich, if you please)—are “ejaculating their ego rockets” into space to determine the answer to this apparently important question: Whose dick, aka rocketship, is bigger, stronger and faster than the rest?

Though seriously folks, who wants a fast dick?

And who needs this Billionaire Dicks in Space Race?

Sperm Wars for Billionaires

Apparently, the sexually insecure yet utterly unbridled egos of Bezos, Branson and Musk need this space race very badly.

That’s pretty much it.

Multi-billion-dollar Sperm Wars in Space will not help people on Earth who are suffering through climate change and the worst economic disparity ever.

And that’s just their fellow humans; billions of other species are rapidly going extinct thanks to the selfish actions of wealthy men (and a few wealthy women) very much like them.

THIS is why we call our show “Fuck Da Rich!” aka F.D.R. which also happen to be the initials of our 32^nd President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, whose socialist-lite programs helped to lift a lot of Americans out of the abject poverty of the Great Depression. F.D.R’s programs also taxed—at a rate of 90%!—super-rich dudes like Bezos and Musk.

How many pics of Bezos’ Pecker did David Pecker pick?

Constant tax cuts for the rich, gifted by a succession of Presidents from Reagan to tRump, have created this civilian space farce of space cadets.

It’s infuriating. If I wasn’t such a peace-loving bonobo sapien, I’d give these starry-eyed, Mars-Bars Honeymooners a Jackie Gleason-style knuckle-sandwich “to the moon!”

Cockfight at the Baghdad Corral

The Billionaire Dicks in Space Race reminds me of the Cockfight at the Baghdad Corral, which started similarly—with a lot of insensitive braggadocio—but wound up kicking off a deadly invasion, occupation, “Shock and Awe,” war crimes, torture and ongoing Perma War.

Fortunately, the current Billionaire Cockfight in Space doesn’t involve dropping bombs or intentionally killing anyone. However, it is very destructive symbolically—and economically.

So what’s the real questions: Who has the biggest dick or who IS the biggest dick?

Of course, Jeff Bezos’ Pecker is no stranger to public display, having exposed itself in various situations, as we reveal in our Spank ‘n’ Art Speakeasy Journal’s story of how National Enquirer’s David Pecker got a pic of Bezos Pecker.

But how many pics of Bezos’ Pecker did David Pecker pick?

Say that three times and you’ll fly to the moon.

Not to be outdone in dickheadedness, Elon Musk issued a cheeky challenge to Bezos just after his Blue Origin’s vision for space presentation. Having just bold shot his cherry red Tesla load into orbit around the Earth, Elon tweeted “Oh stop teasing Jeff.” He even “teased” Jeff back by photoshopping the word “balls” underneath the “blue” of Blue Horizon.

So, there it is: two (or three, counting the Galactic Knight) ultra-wealthy nerds spending absurd amounts of money to drop their balls on the moon, their junk on Mars and their garbage throughout the galaxy.

“The aliens see our garbage and probably don’t appreciate it,” warns Capt’n Max.

Money can’t buy you courage.

Blue Origin is set to launch Tuesday with Bezos, his brother, a 82-year-old female astronaut who’s never been in space (the feel-good part of the story) and a Dutch 18 year old, the youngest human to go into space.

But don’t get too excited; the kid seems nice enough, but he’s no science prodigy. His Dad paid for his ticket (remember Blue Origin is a very commercial venture into “space tourism,” as are the other billionaire dick moves), albeit considerably less that the $28 million forked over by some anonymous billionaire who had a “scheduling conflict” (how do you have a scheduling conflict over a $28 million seat into space?) or more likely he just got cold feet. Money can’t buy you courage.

The money does go to charity, but it will be funneled through Blue Horizon’s space exploration and astronaut education *wings,* all tax write-offs, of course. But no, it won’t do anything to save us from the moon wobble coming in the 2030s to flood your basement and very likely your whole city, if Climate Change doesn’t get that job done beforehand.

The funny thing is, none of these sperm-warring dicks are even shooting very far into space, according to Neil DeGrasse Tyson, whom I had the pleasure of meeting at an Emmys party, where we chatted about the cosmos and bonobos, and no, he did not harass me; he was a total gentleman, though he put his arm around me (while Max was putting his arm around Mrs. Tyson).

Speaking of bonobos, Musk claims to love them, but has he donated any billions to save them? Not yet (there’s still hope)…

Neil DeGrasse Tyson & Me explore the Cosmos and Bonobos at the Emmys 2014

All these billionaires should check out how the bonobos approach cockfighting, or, as the primatologists call it, “penis-fencing.” Not only does it help to keep the peace through the pleasure of sperm-war-powered male/male sex, it’s environmentally sustainable and doesn’t cost a thing.

Breaking News: Bezos finally shot his load into space, and his rocket looks even more like a dick than he does. Most people wanted him to stay up there (Lost in Space?), but alas he returned to Earth and proclaimed his “appreciation” to all the Amazon workers he abuses and all the customers he monopolizes for making it possible for him to shoot his silly dick into space.

READ “BILLIONAIRE DICKS IN SPACE RACE” on COUNTERPUNCH

Not to be outdone, now Musk is buying a planet and calling it “Uzi.” The excessively outrageous meets the insensitively ridiculous… in space.

More Breaking News: Jon Stewart came out with his awesome video, “The Problem with Dicks in Space” AFTER we broadcast this F.D.R. show (as well as the next one) and I published this article and last week’s, so I’m honored that he copied me. JK, great, progressive, silly minds think alike.

Climate Catastrophe, Cuba & Ammosexual Issues

We also explore other issues—and I mean that in terms of different topics, as well as that exhilarating tissue that issues forth in orgasm… or ego-driven rocket launching.

Climate Change is an ongoing issue, and not just because of the exhaust belching and farting from the billionaire rockets as they soar heavenward. Torrential floods are devastating Germany and Holland, fires are raging in the Northwest and the heat is baking us to a crisp right here at home in Bonoboville.

The Coronapocalypse is on the rise again, even as crazy QAnon-y Congresswoman Margarine, aka Marjorie Taylor Greene, compares vaccination-positive Americans going door-to-door to help people get vaxxed to the Nazi “brownshirts.” Margarine’s trip to the Holocaust Museum, instead of enlightening her, seems to have given her ideas for how to more creatively express her bigotry.

Since it’s mostly the stubbornly unvaxxed who are now getting the virulent Delta Variant, they’re calling it a “pandemic of the unvaccinated.” Capt’n Max calls it the “suicide of the unvaccinated.” Well, I guess it’s one way to collectively raise the American IQ. The problem is there are small but concerning numbers of break-through cases in vaccinated people, most of whom, because they got the shot, contract relatively mild cases. But a few get very sick and die, and we (you or me) could be one of the few. So, call me a “virtue signaler” if you like, but pneumonia and sepsis almost killed me before, and despite its challenges, I enjoy life too much to let it go. So, I’m masking up around folks who might not be vaxxed.

There’s also the ammosexual epidemic which shows no signs of abating, loudly announcing The Weekend with a shooting at the Washington Nationals Baseball Game. Some of these trigger-happy gun fetishists are civilians; but a lot are police—both off-duty and on.  The night we broadcast live, our own LAPD was attacking peaceful demonstrators, including trans activists at the Wi Spa. These ammosexuals with badges even chased protestors as they ran away, shooting one unarmed woman point-blank with rubber bullets as she cried, “Don’t shoot!” just before she collapsed clutching her chest where the bullet had struck her, another appalling casualty of the LAPD’s war on Angelenos.

With all of our problems at home, American politicians of both parties still have the gall to attack our little socialist neighbor to the south, Cuba. Pretending to care about the “Cuban people,” they are pouncing on the fact that they are protesting harsh conditions on the island due to the cruel, universally condemned and utterly inhumane U.S. embargo. This is why some Cubans are demonstrating. They don’t dislike socialism. They are protesting the lack of essential food and medicine due to U.S. sanctions. End the American embargo against Cuba!

Space SeX, Blue Orgasm, Non-Virgin

We also talk about sex. This is the Love Train, after all. Max and I had pretty hot sex the night before. I had an earth-shattering climax that shot me into starry space faster than Blue Origin, Space X and Virgin Galactic combined.

Call it a Space SeX Blue Orgasm for a Non-Virgin.  

“Get down on your knees and call Me Mistress when you serve Me,” I intone to My troops

That brings up memories of my first outercourse orgasm with Max—rubbing against the back of his neck!

No doubt, assuming many of the more athletic sexual positions gets more difficult or just plain impossible with age. But it’s very interesting how touch can feel more electric and orgasms more intense as the years pass.

According to the comments, our listeners are excited to hear true tales of our adventures in elder sex. Not that most of them are geriatric fetishists (though a few like Cougars); they’re just happy to hear that old folks still have sex lives, so maybe they will too when they get older.

When you hear about young people having great sex, it might make you feel like you’re missing out. When it’s elders having great sex, you might be grossed out (ewwww—old people!), or you might feel you’ve got something to look forward to in life.

There are all kinds of great comments on all our platforms, especially Reddit, though more Bonoboville homegals and dudes hang with us on Facebook. Melissa Balin responds to anti-ammosexual rant (“the human element”) with “the human element is the most dangerous element, even if it is dangerously sexy” AND she “kissed ass on the show 20 years ago.” Wow. We do a little fact-checking, and it was actually 10 years ago, on our amazing Republican Brain show when this sweet petite beauty was our featured guest under her other name, Elaina Raye!

Speaking of amazing Dr. Susan Block Shows, in honor of the sizzle season, this week’s throwback is Hot Summer Power Plays, featuring a kinky bevy of sexy porn stars, rappers and Sanctuary Dommes and switches.

And yes, it sure is HOT in more ways than one.

And speaking of sexy Sanctuary, DomCon is coming… in person!

I hope you join us!

Though honestly, I’m feeling an unsettling mixture of excitement (can’t wait to hang out with my fabulous kinkster friends that I haven’t seen in person since 2019) and trepidation (I hope we all don’t catch Covid from breathing all over each other in tight indoor spaces).

Thanks to our inquisitive listeners, we also take on issues like phone sex, edging, black lace thongs, calling out the wrong name during sex, delicate FB readers being “triggered” by my article, “Good riddance to Bad Rummy” (if you ain’t triggering, you ain’t figuring), ho’s, hoses and buckets (and a Redditor named “Hosebucket”) and of course, The Bonobo Way.

And we talk about the Perma Wars, fought by those troops that we are told by both Democratic and Republicans whores to the Military-Industrial Complex (MIC) that we ought to “thank” for their “service.” But service to whom? The MIC and Da Rich. Not to everyday Americans and certainly not to me.

“Get down on your knees and call Me Mistress when you serve Me,” I intone to My troops, half-kidding and half-seriously attempting to give them a more worthy, less destructive task than invading foreign lands, and whaddaya know, but a few Redditors respond, “Yes Mistress.”

We also celebrate the good news in efforts to “Free Britney,” now that she can get her own high-powered Hollywood lawyer. Finally, here is something to unite us, Democrats and Republicans alike, let Britney be free… and let her remove her damn IUD.

However, Julian Assange is still not free. Therefore, neither are we. A billion billionaire dicks in space won’t change that.

© July 17, 2021 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.