by Dr. Susan Block.    

Deal Makers and Dictators of the Global Marketplace, come to Mar-A-Lardo for the Deal of the Millennium: Trump Nukes!

Yes indeed, our Conman from Queens, aka “FPOTUS,” has hawked every other Trump product to the Trump Train, from Trump Steaks to Trump University, Trump Magazine, Trump Water, Trump Vodka, Trump Wine (or is that Trump Whining?), Trump Airlines, Trump Casinos, the Trump Presidency, all mega-failures, con-jobs or both.

Now we have the Trump product to end all Trump products…and all life on Earth: Trump Nukes.

Art of the (Nuclear!) Steal

No, not Trump Nudes (everyone’s seen Melania’s tatas) or just more of the same Trump News…

Trump Nukes.

And they’re for sale.

Except Trump Nukes are really America’s nukes. They’re not Trump’s nukes to take, let alone sell.

No nukes are good nukes.

And really, there should be no nukes at all. Nuclear energy is bad for the environment—even without the horrors of a meltdown (think Chernobyl, Fukushima and Three Mile Island)—and nuclear bombs will kill us all.

Which is why no nukes are good nukes. 

But since there ARE nukes—and our nuke-fetishizing leaders keep making more, bigger, deadlier, crazier nukes—certainly a twice-impeached Coup Anon-instigating grifter like Donald J. Trump shouldn’t have them in his basement. Nor should he have any “top secret” documents related to said nukes. And yet, here we are, faced with the evidence of the latest and greatest (well, actually, worst) Trump product, aka scam, aka crime: Trump Nukes… for sale!

Buy now and get the complete Grifted Sucker Pack including a Nepotism Barbie Doll (that’s Ivanka with her pet mole, Jared), back stage (and back door) access to key GQP officials, and your own Trump Crime Family Fox News Pundit Controller (facsimile)!

Seriously though, if Trumpty Dumpty has a great fall, how many Trump Nukes will it take to kill us all? This is—more or less—on everyone’s mind as we get the Big News that the Marmalade Man-Baby’s sinking Xanadu has been “raided” by the FBI.

Trumpty Dumpty got raided! Excuse me if Capt’n Max  and I celebrate with a little peace pipe on the Love Train and—oh yeah!—a little sex. Actually, a lot of very orgasmic marital sex. #GoBonobos for Elder Sex!  It keeps you young.

And orgasms do get better and more intense with age (at least, they can), though physical positions become more challenging. Also, since the only “oil” we used was extra-virgin coconut oil, and the only machine was my Hitachi Magic Wand, it’s very sustainable sex.

Indeed, though procreational sex can be eco-hazardous, recreational sex is one of humanity’s more sustainable activities, as we explain, explore and thoroughly enjoy on this ride.

So, don’t let the Post-Trump Sex Disorder get you down. Celebrate when you can.

Self-Love, Religio-Fascism, Salman Rushdie, J.K. Rowling

As if answering a casting call for a poster boy for sustainable, recreational sex in action, “Justin” calls in from California to reveal his favorite form of recreation: masturbation. He especially likes male-male phone sex, and is utterly enamored of Capt’n Max’s deep, seductive, baritone voice. I can’t say I blame him!

We also talk about the opposite of recreational sexual pleasure, that is, the ongoing, all-too-human terrors of ammosexual religious fundamentalism.

Reminding us that it’s not *just* the Christofascism of the Coup Anon’ers (there are violent extremists in every mainstream religion) and it’s not *just* guns and ammo that are destroying us (it’s also Islamofascism and any old killing tool you can get, like say, a knife), a knife-wielding Islamofascist assaulted the great author of “The Satanic Verses,” Salmon Rushdie, famous for Iranian Ayatollah Khomeini’s fatwa against him, as he was about to give a talk before 2500 people at the Chautauqua Institution on Freedom of Expression (of all things), stabbing him viciously and repeatedly, almost killing him, leaving him with terrible, life-changing injuries.

Aching for Rushie, I also find myself empathizing with another controversial writer, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling when her tweet of solidarity with Rushdie is answered with, “Don’t worry. You are next” from another Islamofascist. Whatever you think of J.K. Rowling’s TERF-ish views of trans people—which I do not support—such brutal threats (which I too have received) are not okay. Apparently my writerly sympathies, despite stating that I don’t agree with Rowling’s trans-views, are not “okay” with some of my commenters. I try to explain the nuances of supporting freedom of expression while disagreeing with gender discrimination, but people believe what they want to believe—especially nowadays. Belief has unmoored itself from truth and is now totally rooted in desire.

I’m all for “desire,” but I try not to let the facts disappear just because I really WANT something to be true.

Zoom Dick & Big Willy

We also say “Farewell” (again) to Jeffrey Toobin, leaving CNN because he probably can’t do his job without people laughing and calling him “Zoom Dick.”

Zoom Dick 2020.

He should have called the Dr. Susan Block Institute for consensual webcam sex therapy instead of showing it off to his non-consenting colleagues…

Update to the last FDR’s “Prince of Pegging”: There’s a leak (oh, those leaky royals!) from the Palace that Kate Middleton calls Prince William “Big Willy.”

We have plenty of quibbles with the monarchy and all of “Da Rich”—but it’s good to know the future King of England is having fun on both ends of the stick!

Wars at Home & Abroad

Meanwhile across the pond, the fight over Forced Breeding rages on… with a win for abortion rights in Kansas, thanks to the voters, and a loss in Louisiana, thanks to the Court.

The results in Kansas and Louisiana starkly reveal the crux of the matter: American voters and our ruling oligarchs want very different things.

That’s one reason why the oligarchs love tRump; his pro-wrestling personality and unvarnished white supremacy attract some voters, while their blatantly anti-people policies do not.

“Trapped Trumpus” on a Bed of Jeffrey Vallance Trump Puppy Pee Pads with Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo by Jux Lii available at DrBlocksPleasureShop.com/photos

Similarly, Russia’s war in Ukraine rages on with no winners except the arms dealers.  

Btw, this is your weekly reminder that Russia is NOT socialist, so stop calling it that (which *side* you’re on)!

Russia is a fascist kleptocracy run by an Russian Orthodox sadist with imperialist desires. Socialism is social security, public schools, public parks, taxing the rich, things that U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR’s namesake) did.

Recently, in a particularly weird Christofascist move, Russia even outlawed lace panties!

Beta Male Pleasures, the Bonobo Way

Or course, we also talk bonobos. In fact, I read a dialogue between me and Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods, authors of Survival of the Friendliest, which Brian began with a note attached to a recent study:

“Suzy – you had asked me about the curious relationship b/w dominance and reproductive skew in male bonobos that might suggest male bonobos dominate in some hidden way (via aggression etc).  however the alternative that I shared w/ you and others suggested as well is that bonobo females choose to mate with “dominant” males.   the attached paper presents a new dataset that supports the second idea – females are expressing their choice in such a strong way that certain males are having all the babies = )  BH”

I replied: “Thanks for getting back to me with this, Brian! I really appreciate it. Hoots of love and friendship to Vanessa and Congo. Honestly, at first, I felt these findings threatened *my* theory that a key aspect to bonobos’ unique-among-apes ability to keep themselves from killing each other – in addition to female empowerment – is male well-being. Since males of all ape species (well, okay, all species!) are notoriously horny, sexual satisfaction is almost always fairly important to “male well-being.” These findings that all the bonobo ladies gravitate to just one Bonobo King Solomon for mating – whether due to this ‘dominant’ male’s winning “friendly” personality or his mother’s high status  – leaving all the beta males to suffer with blue balls, seems to dispute that theory. It’s nice for what you’re saying about “female choice.” But how do the guys feel? It makes me want to ask, like Dr. Frans de Waal’s colleagues did when he first explained bonobo female power to them back in the 1990s, “Why do the males put up with that?” 

Sure, one reason for bonobo male acquiescence is bonobo female solidarity. Those lady gangs are tough. But does that mean that the not-so-‘dominant’ males are all miserable peons “putting up with” this gross sexual inequity – that sounds on the surface to be even more extreme and unfair than among chimps or humans? Or could it be that “sex” – if you define it (as I do) to include recreational sex, not *just* procreational sex – is actually abundantly available for the beta bonobo males too, and that keeps them in a state of “well-being”?  Recreational sex includes procreational/reproductive, aka PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse during ovulation (which I’ve heard lasts like a few seconds), but it also includes oral sex (which I’ve seen go on for over an hour at the zoo), massage, mutual masturbation, rump-rubbing, penis-fencing, etc. with other males, copulating with older post-menopause females and other females who aren’t ovulating (or hiding their estrus), etc.  As a sex therapist, I know that many human males (maybe even most!) would be happy to have these types of recreational sex available to them – at least, if there was no stigma associated with these activities. So… maybe the bonobo males are pretty happy with it too. I say “pretty” happy, because some degree of competition stress is in all of us apes, but it seems to be not so severe in bonobo males. Why are beta bonobo males so relatively happy if their chances of “mating” are less than even the chances of those grumpy, tense common chimps? Could it have something to do with the near-constant availability of non-“mating” (nonreproductive) recreational sex and non-violent touching among all bonobos? Considering these findings on these alpha male baby daddies fathering most of the offspring, “recreational sex” seems to be an even more important piece of the bonobo “peace through pleasure” puzzle. I realize that as a sex therapist (as opposed to a scientist like yourself), I am probably imposing my “Make Love Not War” world view on poor Pan paniscus, but am I wrong? 

Sorry for the long email, but you got me thinking (a dangerous pursuit) 

with bonobo love 
Suzy 

P.S. Your study reminds me of why I believe in Free Love for All, but Women Must Control the Means of Reproduction (with a hat tip to Karl Marx).”

Vanessa replied within hours with “I think you are exactly on point!! I love it!!!”

And Dr. Brian chimed in today (after the live broadcast) with “Yes I have to agree w/ V here – spot on ! bonobo power =).”

What a thrill to talk bonobos and The Bonobo Way with a couple of the world’s foremost experts in the primatology today! It gives me hope for a future without Trump Nukes, or any nukes or war at all, and filled with sustainable sex and bonobo love.

There’s more to this wild ride that choo-choos all over the map and back through the Tunnel of Love.

Raiding Mar-A-Lardo

Nevertheless, we keep coming back to those Trump Nukes (or nuke-related “documents”) that seem to have been the target of the warrant-supported FBI raid on Mar-A-Lago, Trump’s opulent stronghold—that we’ve taken to calling Mar-a-Lardo. The raid may or may not have recovered various stolen trinkets, from Roger Stone’s get-out-of-jail-free card, to the Russian Hooker Pee Party tape (there are those Trump Nudes!) to French President Emmanuel Macron’s semen sample (on Melania’s dress) to Top Secret nuclear documents. Actually, forget the other stuff, this isn’t sperm wars; we’re talking NUCLEAR wars.

Trump Baby was and still is pretty upset about being raided, and we empathize. After all, we were raided (without a warrant) by the LAPD, for which I sued them and won a nice settlement. More recently, we were raided by Arcadia City Inspectors accompanied by nine Arcadia police officers, with a warrant based on a lie, as part of an ongoing pattern of harassment against us for which we will be suing them. They even went through my panty drawers just like the FBI went through Melania’s.

So, we understand how it hurts to be raided, like a rape of your privacy by the State. I understand why poor Trumpty Dumpty bawled, “They even broke into my safe.” It feels like a violation. It is a violation.

The difference between our raids and tRump’s is that we never committed a crime (and were never charged with one), while Trump stole goddamn nukes! Well, nuke documents.

Speculators point to Jared, BFF of MBS (Mohammed Bone Saw), who just received $2 billion from a single Saudi investment in his do-nothing private equity firm. What could be worth so much money—with or without Nepotism Vanky? Trump Nukes!

In retrospect, “Trump Nukes” seem inevitable. Trump is a thief, a con man, a narcissistic opportunist who was faced with an irresistible (for him) opportunity.

Remember when he wanted to share nuclear technology with our old friends the Saudis back in 2019? Several Republican Senators were concerned enough to tell him not to. But do conmen have a conscience?

So, Trump Nukes could have gone to Putin, Kim Jong Un or that Chinese massage parlor lady hung around Mar-a-Lardo all the time until they busted her for nude trafficking… or did they mean nuke trafficking?

Anything’s possible with Trumpty, but the gift of Trump Nukes—or U.S. nuclear intelligence—seems perfect for the Saudis and might have been examined between tee-times at last month’s at Saudi golf tournaments at Trump’s Doral in Miami. Hit a birdie by Ivana’s golf course grave, and then take a quick trip down to the Basement Reading Room for some sparkling Trump Water and a glance at the Trump Nukes reports.

Jared “Holy Mole-y” Kushner

So, who’s the mole here? The Donald’s niece Mary Trump (the only decent Trump), Stormy Daniels’ old nemesis Michael Cohen and all other speculators point to Jared, BFF of MBS (Mohammed Bone Saw), who just received $2 billion from a single Saudi investment in his do-nothing private equity firm. What could be worth so much money—with or without Nepotism Vanky? Trump Nukes!

Then again, maybe Melania doesn’t want to be buried on the Mar-A-Lardo golf course (or pushed down the stairs?) like Ivana, so she called the FBI. Speaking of “top secret,” what’s buried along with Ivana?

I want to see the Orange Pox in prison as much as anyone, and I don’t mean to nitpick, but I hope it’s not for the 1917 Espionage Act. Trump’s own lackey Justice Department dusted off this archaic law—used against several of my anti-war heroes, like Eugene Debs, Emma Goldman and Daniel Ellsberg—to go after Julian Assange. It’s a bad law and ought to be repealed. Also it was used to scapegoat Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, who were executed, thanks to Trump’s horrible mentor Roy Cohn, on mostly trumped-up charges of nuclear espionage. Ironically, nuclear science intern Ted Hall most unequivocally passed secrets to the Russians, and though J. Edgar Hoover knew, nothing was done to punish Hall—because his brother Ed Hall was a top rocket scientist the U.S. military didn’t want to lose; thus, the Rosenberg’s got the shaft.

Anyway, tRump doesn’t belong in the same category as these principled peace activists; he was just selling Trump Nukes for a little quick cash. Then again, if this awful law is used to put Trump in prison—and then repealed—it would be a sort of twisted karma.

Checkmate tRump!

Meanwhile, Trumplethinskin pled the 5^th over 400 times in the New York case that has New York Attorney General Letitia James investigating the Trump Organization for misleading lenders, insurers and tax authorities… not to mention a third of the country, including that poor MAGAt who was shot and killed while trying to attack the FBI with a nail gun.

But back to the raid. Merrick Garland approved the search warrant. He’s also, to his credit, going after the cops who murdered Breonna Taylor and tried to cover it up. Garland reminds me of my dad, smart, quiet, but—let’s cross our fingers—more of a “ninja,” as Mary Trump calls him, than my father. She says, “Garland is playing chess. Donald can only play checkers.” I see the Trumpus as more of a pro-Wrestling cheat than a checker player, but let’s hope she’s right, and soon Garland declares, “Checkmate” for all to hear.

Will the MAGAts stick to the bloated body of a cracked and leaking Trumpty Dumpty? How can anyone possibly still believe the Conman from Queens? Many pundits ask this question over and over again.

But really, does it matter what they believe? Right now, in the halls of Congress and the bars of Trump Country, they’re scrambling to craft talking points for what they “believe.” What matters is what they want—which appears to be Christofascism, guns for all and tax-free billions for the few—and they will (consciously or unconsciously) force their beliefs to fit their desires. And they will compel you to conform, if they can.

Don’t bother to ask what people believe. Ask what they want, and if they tell you, you’ll know what they believe.

And heed this wisdom from Mary Trump: “I hear people say that Republicans are afraid of Donald Trump – no they’re not. They ARE him. They are sticking with the guy who gives them permission to be their worst selves.”

They are racist, sexist, power-hungry and greedy like him, and they don’t care if he lies or even sells Trump Nukes.

Vote them out! The Dems are no angels, but they are the lesser of two evils, and the greater of those evils is getting evil-er by the minute.

I mean, really… Trump Nukes!?!

P.S. All photos in our fabulous F.D.R. (F*ck Da Rich) slideshow are for sale. For info, click here.

“TRUMP NUKES… or Sustainable Sex” Transcript

MAX
You’re listening to FDR radio with your Hostess with the Mostest and her husband and all the people around in the studio, and we are broadcasting from beautiful downtown Arcadia. Well, the massage parlors are oh oh oh, and next to me sitting next to me is my girl- My favorite, very favorite doctor and my honey and sweetheart and my pie and my water girl and my kissing girl and she’s right next to me and her name is Dr. Susan Block and here she is.

Dr. SUZY
Wow, I have a lot of jobs! I knew I wore a lot of hats, but my goddess, Water Girl, Kissing Girl… and you forgot Blowjob Girl.

MAX
Ah yeah, right, well yum yum.

Dr. SUZY
After all, one of our subjects tonight is sustainable sex and a good BJ will give you breakfast in addition to pleasing your partner.

MAX
And we should tell Abe this signal- what does that mean?

Dr. SUZY
That means hi. But most people are listening on radio, so they don’t know what we’re talking about, ’cause they don’t see us waving.

MAX
Ah, so I’m raising my hand and I’m waiting, and you can see my arm pits.

Dr. SUZY
But if you are watching you would see me laying on several Trump puppy pee pads that are created by Jeffrey Vallance, the artist brought to us by Mistress Tara of Dominatrixes Against Donald Trump.

MAX
That’s correct.

Is that her son?

I didn’t say she birthed him. I say she brought him.

Dr. SUZY
Along with Mistress Sheree Rose.

UNSCENE ABE
Right, right.

MAX
And I just say something about this, first of all… The art by him, by Jeffrey is for sale.

Dr. SUZY
Jeffrey Vallance.

MAX
It’s not yet up on our shopping cart, but it’s coming soon and the picture itself. I don’t know who took it, but it’s a beautiful picture. And like all pictures that you see on our websites, they’re for sale if we own them.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, and we do have banners that tell you where to go, but I’ll tell you where to go: DrBlocksPleasureShop.com/photos and then you just find the photo and you will be able to buy the photo, if you like, or if you can’t afford it, you can just ogle it.

MAX
You can ogle it. Also, you can buy the art, and this was at a Dr. Susan Block Show that we did with Vice TV, and we did another show with Vice just a few weeks ago. Oh yeah, yeah, this is no, right.

Dr. SUZY
And soon they’re going to be releasing – well, Goddess knows what – but we think it’s a nice documentary about us. But these pics in the slideshow are from when they visited us because we were doing our Trump Pee Parties, our Russian Hooker Golden Shower soirees. We would get a Trump surrogate to lay on sometimes a plastic tarp, but in this case, it was fancy, so we had all these beautiful Jeffrey Vallance puppy pee pads with this likeness of Trump painted in a very Japanesey way, and then we peed on Trump. I peed on him and Goddess Soma, Mistress Tara and Rhiannon Aarons and a whole bunch of other people from The DOMINATRIXES against Donald Trump (DAD) which hasn’t been active lately but might have to be again because this Con Artist Man Baby is getting back into our lives. There he is in a diaper, Capt’n Max.

MAX
Oh, there he is…

Dr. SUZY
Just in case you don’t know what train you are on, it is FDR which stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt, our 32nd President, who had his faults but was a little bit socialist, so we kind of like him and it also stands for Fuck Da Rich, because we’re also a little bit socialist, and that’s why we like ourselves.

So whether you like us or not, you’re now tuned in, so sit back and enjoy the eargasms, and we also have some eyegasms, although they don’t always go with what I’m saying, or what Capt’n Max is saying, or what you might be saying if you call us here on the show and talk to us about politics or sex, whatever you like and the number is 213.291.9497. During the week you can call us for telephone sex therapy, which is private and on Saturday night, you can call us for the show. You can also call 213-291-9497.

So in between paying attention to you, your calls your comments, we are talking about Trump Nukes. Look, we’ve had Trump steaks, Trump University, Trump magazine, Trump Water, Trump vodka, Trump winery, Trump Airlines, Trump casinos, all failures, by the way, if they even got off the ground at all.

MAX
Ha ha ha.

Dr. SUZY
Nevertheless, we now have Trump Nukes for sale. Yes, that’s right. NUKES. Trump nukes, except they’re America’s nukes. Actually, they’re property of the US government. And they were in his basement.

And well, first, let me just say there should be no nukes at all. I’m a no nukes person. I don’t think there should be nukes for energy or certainly not for war. No nukes in my perfect world.

But in the real world, there are nukes, so I have to take reality into consideration. And considering there are nukes we should try not to be too sloppy with them, which would include taking them into your basement. Even if it’s not the Nuke itself, I would say, taking information, documents related to nukes, especially top-secret documents, and that’s what Trump has in his safe. And that’s essentially why Trump got raided.

Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. Woo Hoo! Trump got raided! So, excuse me if we celebrate with a little non-Trump water and a little peace pipe smoking and a little sex. Actually, we had quite a lot of very orgasmic marital sex this morning, did we not, Capt’n Max?

MAX
Yes, we did.

Dr. SUZY
We were kind of celebrating Trump’s raid. I was anyway.

MAX
I don’t know, “he” just was happy.

Dr. SUZY
It was also early Saturday morning, and your friend was happy and excited, and you know, it’s good.

MAX
My friend?

Dr. SUZY
Your penis.

MAX
He’s my partner in life.

Dr. SUZY
#GoBonobos for Elder Sex!

Or you could say mature sex.

MAX
Yeah, that “elder” word is a little scary.But it’s true. People talk about elders as though it’s a scary thing and it is. Except I like the Native American interpretation, which is that Elders are the wise people. Sex fun wisdom.

Anyway, as I get older, I have bigger orgasms than ever. I can get in fewer positions.

MAX
Yeah, well yeah, but we’re pretty straight anyway. I’m pretty straight. But you move around.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, but I used to bounce around more now. I still have a tendency to bounce around, but then I pull a muscle.

MAX
That’s right.

Dr. SUZY
And so I have to be conscious, be woke to my elder weaknesses, and be careful. But once that orgasm gets going, it just- whoo! – sends me off into higher levels than it did when I was young, actually.

MAX
It’s a train without brakes.

Dr. SUZY
Right!  I don’t know about the guys, but I think we ladies can have bigger and bigger orgasms as we get older.

There’s just the question of pulling a muscle that enters the picture – even during orgasm, unfortunately, In fact, it’s one of the reasons I have to stop the orgasm – ’cause I’m like, this is awesome, but I’m gonna pull a muscle. Oh no. So I gotta stop. Also, I figure it’s your turn. I have to be fair anyway.

But sex is sustainable and that’s why it’s a subtitle of tonight’s program: sustainable sex. Most sex is pretty sustainable. That is, it’s mostly not hurting the environment much, unless you join the Mile High Club. We only used one little machine, a plug-in Hitachi Magic wand, and that’s it. Not a lot of machines, no airplanes or cars. And the only oil used was a little coconut oil. Very sustainable ecosexuality.

And we are also talking about the opposite of sustainable sex, which would be Trump Nukes, or any kind of nukes, though Trump Nukes are particularly disturbing, and kind of depressing. But don’t let Post Trump Sex Disorder get you down. You should celebrate if you can celebrate, and Make Love to someone you love, even if that someone is you. If you’re a Trump supporter, you can console yourself with a little painkilling pleasure, which is a much better idea than taking an AR15 and a nail gun to the FBI to express your displeasure.

MAX
Right.

What’s with this nail gun?

Dr. SUZY
It’s a little creative, and that’s what he had actually attacked the FBI with.

MAX
Oh yeah. Oh, perfect sure.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, he had the AR15.

MAX
But he used the nail gun.

Dr. SUZY
And he got killed. And honestly, I feel bad that he got killed and I have to question the police. I don’t know if the FBI killed him. I think it was police, but they got him out into a field. He ran away and they chased the guy into a field and killed him, and I’m like, why do you have to kill him when he’s out in the field and you’re surrounding him? Why can’t you shoot his legs like Biden says or even Trump says and people make fun of them for that, and I agree it’s tasteless to say it. It’s tasteless for me to say it too, I guess. But if I was out in a field surrounded by police for whatever reason, well, honestly, I love to dance and walk, but I would prefer they shoot me in the legs then kill me.

MAX
Yeah, you know, and I don’t really understand that because Europe has the same problem. They also have criminals and but here it’s like you get executed for making a wrong turn. You know,  you get executed for peeing in the bushes.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

MAX
You get executed.

Dr. SUZY
And in this case, for a nail gun.

MAX
Yeah, and in this case for a nail gun.

Dr. SUZY
They didn’t even know he had the AR15.

Dr. SUZY
And listen, I’m no defender of Nailgun Guy. He’s obviously a Coup Anon’er. And yes, he was trying to start a civil war, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, and we’re going to talk about civil war and the possibilities of it happening later, but in a nutshell, I don’t think the MAGAt people can get it together, and I don’t think our people want to fight.

MAX
Well, it’s hard. It’s hard to start a civil war with a nail gun.

Dr. SUZY
Well, there’s that.

MAX
Frankly, you know, I mean, really young, man.

Dr. SUZY
Not that we’re encouraging you.

MAX
No, no, no. But nail guns are used to write to build houses and build beautiful things.

Dr. SUZY
We are bonobos. We are non-violent.

MAX
Not the nail gun, people.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, you say that as a builder of things. Capt’n Maximilian is a great builder. He uses nail guns quite a bit.

MAX
That’s right.

Dr. SUZY
So why is this happening? Why are people at such a fever pitch? Attacking the FBI on the one hand and having great sex on the other hand, celebrating really almost out of control, celebrating that, I think is perhaps maybe wishful thinking, but I’m doing it too, so I’m guilty of that, and we should take every opportunity to get over our Post-Trump Sex Disorder, and celebrate! But I’m still not sure what this all means. And on the other hand we have these Trumpers who are also not sure what this all means. So a lot are quiet, but others are defending him.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
So, what exactly happened? Well, let’s review Trump’s tasteless palace, Mar-a-Lardo – I mean Mar-a-Lago. I didn’t make that up; Mar-A-Lardo is out there in the Twittersphere, and yeah, anyway, the place has been raided by the FBI with a search warrant, so it is a legal raid and they have uncovered various stolen documents from Roger Stone’s Get Out of Jail Free card to, I don’t know, maybe the Russian Hooker Pee party tapes and something of French President Emmanuel Macron. Perhaps a semen sample or something like that.

MAX
A wee-wee sample?

Dr. SUZY
All Oui Oui to the wee-wee! Perhaps on Melania’s dress, we don’t know. But we do know, according to the released document list, that there are top secret nuclear documents, things that relate to the nukes and that are top secret, that their codes, their instructions for how to build nukes, although those are also on the Internet, although these might be more advanced being at the highest levels, I don’t know. Or they could be positions or plans or projections for how long it takes before we can respond. Whatever, it’s top secret. FBI gets a search warrant for nukes, forget the semen sample. This is not just sperm wars, this is nuclear wars. So people are in a bit of a lather on all sides.

So that’s why we’re talking about it and looking at Trumpty Dumpty in our various visual aids, banners and photos from the past shows and articles, “Bezos exposes Trump’s Pecker,” and our Dominatrixes against Donald Trump shows, so much fun, where we were attempting to spank him out of office and pee him into oblivion.

Well, we did spank him out of office, but he’s not gone into oblivion at all. In fact, he seems to be using this raid to, of course, fundraise and get attention. So, one has to wonder what is it all about?

In terms of the raid, hey we have empathy right, Capt’n Max?

MAX
You know.

Dr. SUZY
We’ve been raided.

MAX
So, we’ve been raided and actually the last raid we had was by the City of Arcadia to try and determine whether we sleep on our couches? Or why and how we store our broadcast beds?

Dr. SUZY
Mattress Madness.

MAX
It’s just if you’ve never been raided, it depends who the hell is raiding you. In this case, it was a woman. What was her name? Yeah, that one there and she’s from the city here and she did not believe. I don’t know what she didn’t believe, but that’s why you raid. That’s what she said.

Dr. SUZY

There were nine police officers, and it was part of a pattern of harassment that has been ongoing against us. This raid was just kind of a little climax, like a little ejaculation… for them. Though they didn’t discover anything. But for us, it was like a rape. It was a violation of our privacy. We were working, getting ready for a show that morning.

UNSCENE ABE
A new show.

Dr. SUZY
An interview, yeah. So, we were here and working, and getting ready for the show and they just suddenly raid us and insist we all get out into the parking lot while they frisk us and search around, and they don’t find anything.

MAX
No, exactly right.

Dr. SUZY
But they did have nine police officers and it did feel like a bit of a rape and we will sue them for this ongoing pattern of harassment.

MAX
Amber is the name of the inspector.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, Amber Waves of Grain.

MAX
Member came March again.

Dr. SUZY
She lied to the judge, but she lied to the judge. Yes, in that case they did have a warrant, but it was based on a lie, so we do understand being appalled by a raid. And we were also rated by the LAPD and there was no warrant for that, not even a pretend warrant like this one.

MAX
Was that they were chasing self, chasing some Mexican kidnappers, can you imagine?

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, they were just in the mood for checking out The Dr. Susan Block Show that night. My guest was Ginger Lynn that night, I think they heard I was going to have a hot pornstar, and we were having a lot of people over then and we were even having wild bacchanals and orgies would break out at the Speakeasy.

MAX
That’s correct.

Dr. SUZY
In Bonoboville in those days and it was in a building that was a real Speakeasy.

MAX
Yeah, and they went into our refrigerator.

Dr. SUZY
Except we were not selling liquor. We were not operating a real Speakeasy.

Oh, they went into our refrigerator.

MAX
Yes, the-

Dr. SUZY
They went into my panty drawers.

MAX
And they didn’t go in my underwear drawer, and they liked yours.

Dr. SUZY
No, they liked mine, so I related to Melania.

MAX
They had the sniffles.

Dr. SUZY
Unless, she was of course, the mole. Though it was probably Jared, but who knows? We’ll talk about that in a minute, but I do understand, you know, it feels like a violation. I understand it feels like a rape.

MAX
It’s a terrible no. It is a. It is an awful violation, and as you know, Dr. Suzy, I was raided like 23 times and arrested.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, I was only rated twice.

MAX
Yeah, well see you don’t have as many chevrons as I do. But it is… It is in all governments.  And by the way, everybody that gets raided says they’re picking on me.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

MAX
No matter what, whether it is, yeah, they’re picking on me. Oh, by the way, one of the reasons they raided them is because in June, Trump’s defense team notified the feds that anything that had a top-secret stamp on it had been removed from the from the club, but they guaranteed that they had turned over everything to do with top secret stuff.

Dr. SUZY
Well, well, that wasn’t quite the case, was it?

MAX
Now is a little bit of bullshit you know, yeah wow, so that’s one of the reasons they didn’t believe it. You know? And I don’t know if the lawyer actually knew there was shit still there, but if he did, he should be disbarred, and if he listened to Trump, saying, I swear that I have no longer anything like that here at Mar-a-Lago, then he’s an idiot. One of the two.

Dr. SUZY
So obviously this is a crime, but there are many crimes in the life of Donald Trump. This is kind of a dramatic one, and yet what is it really? It’s stealing. Trump is a thief. He’s a con man. He’s a narcissistic opportunist with an obviously irresistible opportunity that was facing him, that was always denied him by the generals, by the advisers. Like he would say, according to what suddenly Bolton remembers – Mr. Walrus – Trump would say, “Can I have that document? Can I keep that?” And the Generals would say “No, Sir, you can’t keep it.” And he would say, “Well, maybe I’ll just borrow it. I’ll give it back.” And then maybe they would forget about it, or he would make copies. But he would get these documents and know that they were something interesting that perhaps his Saudi friends might like. And what I want to ask is, why didn’t Bolton tell us about this before?  I don’t trust that guy any more than the Iranians who tried to kill him. I don’t want to try to kill him. I’m too bonobo, but there’s a certain level of disgustingness that is John Bolton.

So, it’s a crime.  Personally, I dislike calling it “espionage,” a French word that’s being used because these are nuclear plans et cetera. And yeah, maybe he sold it to the Saudis. That would be the likely thing. They seem very close and Jared’s very close to the Saudis.

MAX
Well, didn’t Jared just get a few bucks for how much they get?

Dr. SUZY
Jared got $2 billion as an investment in his private equity firm.

MAX
The guy couldn’t even run the Observer in New York.

Dr. SUZY
Or make that building which has the greatest number in the world 666 – the number of Pan, not the Devil. That was a Christian interpretation. it’s the number of Pan that’s what you promote, if you’re a salesman, that’s what you say. But he couldn’t make it make money, so I think he sold it at a loss. So, he has not exactly been a great real estate genius.

MAX
Actually, I don’t know if he sold it. Actually, I think he they got money also.

Dr. SUZY
From the government, that’s right, probably they got COVID money for it.

MAX
Yeah, probably millions and millions of dollars.

Dr. SUZY
Like a lot of billionaires.

MAX
And by the way, this guy is asking you for donations to fight his lawsuit.

Dr. SUZY
Oh Jesus.

MAX
This guy is a billionaire. And he’s out there begging like he’s support homeless guy.

Dr. SUZY
Anyway, they also had a golf tournament recently at Mar-a-Lardo, a Lago.

MAX
Mar-a-Lardo for money.

Dr. SUZY
Some people just envision this scene with everybody playing golf right near Ivana’s grave, and then going down into the basement and looking at nuclear documents.

MAX
You just brought up Ivana, and I think you brought up something very interesting. She was killed as she died. On the day before they were supposed to go to this subpoena, this happened.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, they were supposed to do a deposition which they’re now doing.

MAX
But here’s yeah… Which I don’t quite understand because the reason the police came there now. They get cleared. Clarified somebody called the police. Not in the House, but from outside. And said, “Please check on Ivana.”

Dr. SUZY
Well, you know, I think it would have been easy to push her down the stairs and I think that that would be unfortunate, but they do have motives.

I just got a bunch of comments up here. So Sarah Ann says, “Trump’s been con and conning da people” I like how she uses “da” since this is “Fuck da Rich” and Conning da People from Jump Street, and the Republicans be his biggest marks.”

Amen and Awomen, Sarah, and of course I agree and we are just talking about the latest con, and some think the biggest con. I don’t know. I guess it certainly involves the worst thing in the world which is nukes. And yeah, these are Trump Nukes, just like Trump Steaks, just like Trump Winery, a failure, exposed now, and yet they’ve been sold, probably.

MAX
How much can you get for nuclear secrets?

Dr. SUZY
Probably a couple billion.

MAX
Couple a billion?

MAX
Yeah, yeah, that’s a new tick.

Dr. SUZY
But just go into a private equity firm.

MAX
You take care of the sun, OK? You take your hand, and then I’ll turn you over the information in heat.

Dr. SUZY
Oh yeah, how much for a nuke?

MAX
How much for a nuke?

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, and they’re not really selling individual nukes. We don’t mean that that they’ve got nukes in the safe, it’s information. That’s the information. And this is very special official presidential information and I spoke to someone about this. I was kicking myself for not thinking of it before, ’cause Trump is such a con man, and such a thief. I could just imagine him casing the joint and going, “What’s the most expensive thing here?” Of course, the nukes.

And he was very interested in them, and we knew that, so we should not be surprised that he would sell them or take them with him to Mar-a-Lardo with Jared, who could now be the mole.

And yet this gentleman said he would never expect that a president would do such a thing, even Trump. And I can imagine that a lot of people, liberals, think that way. I don’t know if I think that way. I think I kind of just wasn’t seeing it as a simple transaction that it probably is.

It’s not real espionage. See, that’s why I hate calling it espionage, which sounds a little bit like the Rosenbergs. I really want to see Trumpty Dumpty in prison, but not for the 1917 Espionage Act, which his own Justice Department kind of dusted off to go after Julian Assange. And it was also used against Eugene Debs and Emma Goldman, one of my favorites, ’cause she liked a revolution she could dance to. And Daniel Ellsberg. So, it’s a bad law and it ought to be repealed.

Although I am a realist. And so, if it’s first used to put Trump in prison, it would sort of be a poetic, twisted justice, or, as you say, karma.

MAX
Karma and karma. You know karma.

Dr. SUZY
So, in that case, I wouldn’t be too upset. But also, there was Ethel and Julius Rosenberg who were executed for espionage. And of course I do not believe in capital punishment. And they were executed in the electric chair, thanks to Trump’s horrible mentor Roy Cohn.

MAX
Yeah, now there’s a bunch of Roy Cohn’s running around.

Dr. SUZY
On very trumped-up charges, although they did have some guilt and involvement with Soviet spies, they were sort of thrown to the wolves and used as scapegoats for espionage. And I was just finding out about nuclear science intern Ted Hall passing secrets to the Russians about the atomic bomb and it was real espionage and done for altruistic reasons, he said, so that there would not be another atomic bomb set off by the US. There would be a kind of detente which in fact there has been in a way.

MAX
A balance of power.

Dr. SUZY
A balance of power, yes, so Ted Hall wasn’t caught by J Edgar Hoover, who probably knew about him and the reason was that his brother, Ed Hall, was a very powerful scientist working on some sort of rockets that they needed to build, so it’s very convoluted, but I do feel they made scapegoats of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who were quite a romantic couple actually, and that also tugs at my heartstrings. So, I don’t like the word espionage. I don’t like that they were used as scapegoats for a lot of other people who were more involved, and I don’t think anybody should be executed, not even Trump. That’s what prison is for. When someone is that terrible, it should only be when something is that terrible that you’re considering putting that person out of Commission, that’s when you should keep him in a prison.

So, Rich Biggly says, “The raid does sound scary.’ Yeah, it was scary. I had a gun in my face, a big one, one of those assault rifles, and I was scared for a moment, but the guy didn’t shoot me, so I’m fine. But afterwards, he did say, “Hey, you know you shouldn’t wear so much jewelry. It could be mistaken for a weapon.” And at the time I thought that was incredibly outrageous, but I have heard that used as an excuse more often, something like a cell phone or a nail gun.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And yeah, it is an excuse, and so I was very lucky that I was not shot and killed, which is what the judge told me. That was the first judge who threw it out of court after five days, he said you’re lucky you weren’t killed. But then the appeals court was ready to hear it, and the LAPD itself gave me a nice settlement, knowing that they had truly infringed upon my 4th Amendment and 1st Amendment rights.

So yeah, it was scary. “And no warrant,” he writes. True, there was no warrant. It was a surprise.

MAX
So was Arcadia.

Dr. SUZY
And it was based on lies.  It’s why I do understand the Trumpers that are suspicious of the police of the FBI. I am very suspicious. I am not going to become an FBI cheerleader over this. I don’t see it as taking sides. I just do not see life or politics as a wrestling match. Sometimes love can be a wrestling match, you know it can be fun, but politics shouldn’t be that, and that is how Trump plays. He plays politics as if he’s in a wrestling match, and that there’s a winner and a loser, and you can always fix the game. And cheers rise up from the crowd.

Besides this, Trump also plead the 5th over 400 times in New York this week. It was a big week for the Trumpus which is why we are showing quite a few pictures of our Trumpy escapades, all for sale… Not Trump Nukes! Just photos…  So we spank him and pee on him, we turn him into a doll and make him suck dick. We have fun.  We never kill him, although we did make a Trumpkin for Halloween that we smashed, and we called it “Smashing Trumpkins.”

Yeah, so I guess that was kind of killing him theoretically, theatrically. It’s all just theater, but hey, theater is important. It’s not real, and there is a difference. We are not against theater killing, we are against real killing. So, we’re into Smashing Trumpkins. But we don’t want to kill the actual Trumpkin, we just want to imprison the motherfucker.

Though there is controversy as to whether he can run for president from prison. Actually, Hannity says he can, but Hannity would say that. Others have said no, he cannot.

MAX
Yeah, I remember. I ran for Attorney General from prison.

Dr. SUZY
Well, there you go, so maybe he can. Uh oh…

MAX
I ran, I ran against the Attorney General who put me there.

Dr. SUZY
So, there’s someone named “Dead Account” commenting here – is that a real thing? Or is that like a game? Is that a wrestling term? Anyway, Dead Account is saying “The slideshow for this discussion topic is iconic.”

Thank you, Dead Account, and yes, this discussion is about both Trump Nukes for sale and Love – not for sale – but for sustainable sex. Our sex is certainly sustainable because we’ve been married for 30 years. And I think most sex is actually sustainable. Not all though. Some people join the Mile High Club. Some people demand just billions of dollars for sex. That’s usually a marriage, I would say. Maybe Vanky’s like that. But sex work is usually reasonable somehow; it’s in the ballpark of a few bucks to maybe a few thousand.

MAX
Yeah, downtown you have the alley hookers. It’s yeah…

Dr. SUZY
That’s the few bucks.

MAX
That’s $5 for five minutes.

Dr. SUZY
We used to see them do their thing when we were on Olympic.

MAX
Correct.

Dr. SUZY
They’d do it in the parking lot and the alley. There were alley activities of all sorts.

MAX
The alley right behind our building.

Dr. SUZY
Really horrible activities like this guy burned his car with his kids inside of it. That was the worst.

UNSCENE ABE
Right, right.

Dr. SUZY
But there were other kinds of drug deals, and then there was the hooking.

MAX
Hookers chasing their John.

Dr. SUZY
Dead Account also says, “Because they’ll use anything as an excuse to fire on or fear-monger non- offending people without reason. It’s always a power play.”

MAX
They fear for their life. I feel alone.

Dr. SUZY
I don’t know if he was talking then about the shooting of the nail gun guy in the field or what. But you know, all you guys and gals and nonbinary folks, I am sympathetic with y’all, and I don’t think there’s going to be a civil war, but I do think that violence is rising. I don’t think you guys and gals and nonbinary’s out there have it in you organization-wise to do a civil war without getting uncovered pretty quickly by the FBI. And probably they’re going to be uncovering a lot of people that aren’t even serious about doing anything. That’s for the most part.

MAX
Was the guy that was shooting the nail gun? Was he the guy that was calling people to arms or was that the other guy?

Dr. SUZY
There’s a lot of people calling people to arms, but certainly the nail gun guy was, yes.

MAX
Go to Home Depot.

Dr. SUZY
Anyway, Trump is in trouble, maybe more than ever, and I see a lot of my leftist friends saying that when Trump is in trouble that does inspire his aggrieved base, which is why they don’t like to talk about it, but I guess you gotta talk about it because they’re talking about it. The mainstream media is talking about it, and I know the mainstream media wants this lying stealing conman Trumpty Dumpty to run again. I know they do. Because he gets them eyeballs. Because everybody loves a clown. Well, not everybody, but even if you don’t like a clown, if you’re afraid of the scary clown, you still watch the scary clown through your corner of your eye. You want to see what he’s up to. 

So, they know Trump gets them the eyeballs, and then they also like him because he represents the billionaires. That is the bottom line, brothers and sisters. And that’s why we’re getting this again, even though he has been impeached twice and shown to be a total liar.

It’s like Mary Trump, his niece, says, “I hear people saying that Republicans are afraid of Donald Trump. No, they’re not. They are him. They are sticking with the guy who gives them permission to be their worst selves.”

I agree with that. I’m not saying all Democrats are so great. Of course, if you’re Democrat, you would have quarrels with other Democrats, as I do. That’s kind of the nature of our sort of team, which isn’t much of a team, but the Republicans, the fascists, the Christofascists, do have a team. And they’re not all religious, but they support Christofascism, that’s part of being a team player, and that’s who they’ve got in the Supreme Court.

And they support the billionaires. And they support racism. They are racist, they are sexist, they are power hungry and greedy like he is.

And of course, Trump has this sales relationship, this special friendship with the Saudis, as well as with his beloved Kim Jong Un could be him as well as the Chinese massage lady that used to hang out at Mar-a-lago, as well as Poopin’ Putin. Maybe that’s why Putin feels so confident. Because he’s got something from Trump, his buddy, his submissive. He’s certainly got something on Trump, we know that, but who’s the one who’s got Trump Nukes?

UNSCENE ABE
So Putin has Trump nudes. That’s what he’s done.

Dr. SUZY
Well, yes, Putin definitely has Trump Nudes.

UNSCENE ABE
That’s why he’s not talking. Yeah, Trump pulling this…

MAX
Is he also selling nude pictures besides the nukes?

Dr. SUZY
Well, he’s already got a lot of nudes out there of Melania, not of himself.

UNSCENE ABE
Donald Trump-

Dr. SUZY
There’s a lot of art that mockingly shows Trump nude.

But photos of Trump actually nude? I would like to see those.

MAX
No, please no.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, I see all kinds of dicks. I get dick pics all the time. I could see his too. I would like to examine whether it looks like Stormy Daniels’ description. She said it looked like a little tiny mushroom with Yeti pubes.

MAX
Yeah, you have to hit center and plus to see it on the screen actually.

Dr. SUZY
Trump’s niece Mary says, “Garland is playing chess. Donald can only play checkers.”

I don’t even think he plays checkers myself. I think he plays wrestling, pro wrestling. Not even real wrestling. He likes the pro wrestling where the results are always fixed. It’s just a spectacle.  It’s always a con, a show the dazzles those who want to be dazzled.

But it occurred to me, Brothers and Sisters, that a lot of people, especially on the left want to understand why do people believe this or that? Why do religious people believe in their religions? Why do the Trumpers believe in Trump? They see that he’s lying. They see that he doesn’t care about them. Why do they believe in him?

I say it is not important what people believe. What’s important is what they want. And they make what they believe fit what they want, consciously or unconsciously.

If you can find out what those people really want – both 1) what they want to keep that they already have – and that they’re afraid they’re going to lose, and 2) what they want for the future that they don’t have, those two things equal their desires, and that’s what important, not their beliefs. Why do you think I’m in the desire business? That’s what life is all about. That’s what propels us, not what we believe. We make up what we believe based on what we want, or somebody makes it up for us based on what they want. Our desire, whether it’s sexual or philosophical or survival oriented, that’s really the crux of the matter, isn’t it?

MAX
Yes, that’s the crux of the matter. And what’s the matter with the matter?

I’ll tell you what, what I don’t understand is a guy is living downstairs in the basement of a store. Like a thing, my store, it sells refrigerators. He ain’t got a dime. He’s broke and he’s supporting a multi-billionaire. Supposedly a multi-billionaire. But for what? What are you doing down in that basement, huh? Playing with your wee wee? Dreaming of things to come?

The Rich, I understand ’cause they want to be like him. They want to make money. The Poor I don’t understand. The Poor, they want the fantasy of being rich, and they’re told that sexual fantasies are wrong. Correct. Well, not correct, but yeah, true.

Dr. SUZY
Right, it’s very not correct. It’s Christofascist in this case. Although it’s not just the Christians. We’re going to get into the other religions in just a moment, but right now I want to say Christofascism is on the ascendancy in America, although let’s get into diversity. There’s also Islamofascist. There’s also Judeofascists. There’s also Hindu fascists, Buddhist fascists. In other words, all the religions. Though I don’t see too many Goddess-worshiping religions as fascist, but I guess there could be, you know, if they had any power which they don’t.

MAX
I’m sure there’s God fascists.

Dr. SUZY
Once you get a little power for your religion, it seems you get fascist about it. Apparently, power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Back to Merrick Garland is playing chess and Trump is playing with himself, or checkers or I say pro wrestling. The question is, is he being outmaneuvered or not? Mary says he is, which is unusual because she’s always saying he’s slippery Don, and of course he always has been. He’s been guilty of many, many crimes throughout his life, and he has not been held accountable for any of them.

When you asked why does the poor like him, that is one of the answers to that question because they get held accountable for everything, and they’re in awe of all he gets away with. Now some of the poor are smart, let’s say, because they agree with me, and they see that he’s just a rich guy that gets away with it. But the others they think, they hope, they desire, they want, and they think one day I’m going to win the lottery. I’m going to get rich, and I’m going to be like him like Trump. That’s what they think I want to be like him, and I can be like him if I support him. I want to invest my feelings in him and there is a religion that is not kind of specific, like an old religion but is more the American religion, which is that you can do it if you just have these positive feelings that you can succeed, you just have to think positive. You don’t have to be talented. You don’t have to be born with money. You just have to believe in yourself and not believe in anything or anyone else, like Trump.

See the Europeans don’t think that so much ’cause they have this aristocracy. It’s not so great. It’s very unfair of course to have it, but they grow up with it, so they have no illusions, or not so many. They know life ain’t fair. I gotta do the best I can and maybe try to work against the aristocracy or work with it whatever. But I am not under the illusion that life is fair, whereas America tries to put out that illusion and some people buy into it and think Trump is the American dream because he gets away with all this shit, like the cowboy of the Wild West.

So, there’s some sad news to remind us that it’s not just Christofascism we have to contend with, it’s also Islamofascism. It’s also all the fascisms, Judeo and Buddhist and Hindu, and all kinds of fascisms for almost every major religion.

And it’s not just guns. I have to say this because I am for gun control, much more severe gun control, but I will also acknowledge that people commit horrible crimes, including murders, without guns. They blow things up with fertilizer. They poison people. So, this was with the oldest, easiest kind of killing tool you can get: a knife. And this guy went after, did not kill, but certainly seemed to be trying to kill Salman Rushdie, famous for the Iranian Ayatollah Khomeini’s fatwa against him, because he wrote a book called The Satanic Verses, a very philosophical book, a novel actually about the life of Mohammed, a fictional book. And he was stabbed almost to death by a Muslim fundamentalist whose name I’m not going to say right now because I don’t want to give him more publicity. We’ll see if he becomes a cult hero or something like that, then I guess we have to use his name.

It was very depressing and disturbing to see writer Salman Rushdie giving a talk on freedom of expression before 2500 people at the Chautauqua Institution. And yeah, not much security for someone with a fatwa on his head, but that’s partly because of Rushdie himself not wanting to be surrounded by police as he was for 10 years when he was in hiding just after the fatwa was declared back in 1988 or 1989. Then he came out of hiding, and I think he’s been having a good time, walking around and giving little talks and things, but this was a big one. It’s pretty sad that this happened, so I got a little emotional. He was on a ventilator. I thought he might die. He’s now off, so it looks like he will survive. But he was blinded and also, his liver was stabbed.

MAX
He lost an eye or both eyes.

Dr. SUZY
One eye, which is bad enough. I guess being a fellow writer about controversial subjects, religion and sex who has also been attacked and threatened with attack, I feel bad. I’m even nervous now speaking about him. I’m ready to cry, knowing what he’s been through.

MAX
We could have some Arab thugs come in here.

Dr. SUZY
I wouldn’t say “Arab” thugs. I would say “Islamofascist” because it’s not all Arabs, just like Christofascists are not all Christians. There’s a certain strain of all the religions that is fascist, that maintains that murder is worthwhile because of your feelings, your aims, your beliefs which are ultimately just your desires.

MAX
Yes, it’s normal fascism.

Dr. SUZY
It’s about what you want, because you believe what you want. This guy wanted to have a world in which his religion is the rule of the land. And he didn’t want to see his hero Mohammed insulted. And so he wanted to take a knife and try to kill a writer.

I also felt solidarity with another controversial writer, JK Rowling. I’m not a big Harry Potter fan. It’s kind of cool, but not my favorite, but I appreciated her supporting Rushdie through a tweet, and saying that she felt “sickened, horrified, and let him be OK.” Well, it wasn’t her best writing, and she is a great writer, but it was nice that she came out with something. I don’t usually tweet so emotionally myself, and so I appreciate when other people do. Then she received a lot of responses, of course, but there was a response from an Islamofascist saying, “You’re next.” Actually, he gave it a little humorous spin, he said, “Don’t worry, you’re next.” And she couldn’t get it taken off of Twitter. And I’m not saying she should get it taken off of Twitter. I’m just saying whatever you think of JK Rowling, and she does have some TERF-ish views that I do not agree with about trans people. I don’t even know if I’d call her transphobic, but let’s say she does have narrow views about gender that are not quite as liberal as my own views, but I respect her as a fellow liberal in terms of culture, she is on our side, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, even on the side of trans people, I would say. Not an ally, but not an enemy either.

And certainly, this is about freedom of expression, whether it’s about your sexuality, about your religious beliefs, your desires, or your political beliefs and your desires, we should have the ability to write about it and to speak about it, and to create our little theatrical dramas about it. Street theatre is important to our culture, whether on the actual street or on the Internet.

And so, I deplore efforts to stop that whether they are official on the part of our government, or whether they are individual murders or attempted murders like this. It’s deplorable, whatever religion you are part of, you don’t get to kill us over it.

On the other hand, the reality is that people do get killed over it. I am a realist, and I see that it’s happening and it’s happening more and more, and I have to speak out against it.

MAX
And a lot of these terrorists are against my freedom to read a book to buy a condom, to be married, or to have sex. These are these are very personal freedoms, and I don’t like that, you know.

So, it’s like I don’t live in Russia. I don’t live in a dictatorship. And these people are trying to overturn my rights of what I can read or cannot read, and a lot of these Christofascist guys are Republicans.

Dr. SUZY
Christofascist is the word that I use.

MAX
And they’re not your neighbors.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, they’re mostly Republicans.

MAX
Yeah, they’re most.

Dr. SUZY
I wouldn’t say any of them are Democrats.

MAX
No, no, these are these Republicans living next door to you who are telling you what you can read when you can have sex, when you can abort.

Dr. SUZY
Now I say to my Democrat friends, at least, you guys are not fascist. There’s not an equivalent, not at all. But I gotta say, with the politically correct thing, you go a little too far, in my humble opinion.

MAX
Oh yeah, please yes.

Dr. SUZY
OK but being a stickler for political correctness is just not as bad as being Christofascist or any kind of fascist, but there is that side, and yes, I do believe in seeing our own faults.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Like, we should have never made Al Franken leave the Senate.

MAX
Yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, so Cinema Soloist says, “Religious extremists are a bane to society.”

MAX
Who said this?

Dr. SUZY
Cinema Soloist. That’s not the Sinema that’s in the Senate, of course.

Sara Ann on Youtube says, “Trump is worse than a yeast infection that won’t quit no matter whatever cream you rub on it or medicine you take.”

Yeah, that’s what I wonder…. Can Merrick Garland get rid of this yeast infection for us? I mean he did come out and say, “I did this. I approved the warrant.” And he was strong – for Merrick Garland.

MAX
And they did say to him, and they did say we do not have any more top-secret documents.

Dr. SUZY
So they lied.

MAX
A total lie. total criminal criminality.

Dr. SUZY
As Bianca Bae says, “Trump liar, liar pants on fire.”

Yes, he always lies. But he’s lied before and people don’t care, his supporters, I mean, not people in general, but let’s hope that somebody cares in our government, if they can do anything, they should. Of course, it will be called political, but you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

So, he lied.  He stole those documents. He put Reality Winner into the tank for a long time for taking just one page of these cyber documents.

MAX
And by the way, those papers those papers are your papers. He’s stealing from you.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, and David D says, “Religion is probably the most effective way to brainwash someone.”

Yeah, David D, I think religion is pretty good at it, but this whole brainwashing thing that America does to us, that capitalism does, might even top religion. And the combination, when you put Citizens United and corporations being people and the billionaires and the greed together with the religious fascists, oh my goodness, that’s what’s developing now.

So, thank you David D, because you’re partially right. Religion is one of the more effective ways to brainwash someone.

MAX
Very effective, well… It starts when you’re jumping out of the girl. You come out and suddenly they are throwing water on you, and they’re calling you names like Sinner, and then they throw you in a bathtub.

Dr. SUZY
Yes, it’s very effective.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

MAX
From the second they’re born; they haven’t even watched TV. They haven’t even gotten a computer yet, and they’ve-

Dr. SUZY
Yes, and religion does all that brainwashing. But even if you’re not brought up too religious, if you’re brought up real American, if you’re brought up to feel that American exceptionalism is somehow the law of the world, then that’s also a very effective way to be brainwashed.

MAX
Yes, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
And it’s not called a religion.

MAX
Well, no.

Dr. SUZY
It’s called patriotism.

MAX
And you know, today I was actually talking to Harry about this.

Have you noticed now that the Internet has become worse than television? Every two minutes is an ad, and now they’re 20-minute ads.

Dr. SUZY
We have ads too. We have an ad for Bonoboville running right now.

MAX
Yeah, that’s OK. They were an exception.

Dr. SUZY
And by the way, I just want to say goodbye to Jeffrey Toobin who is now quietly quitting his job at CNN. We had dedicated a couple of shows and a Counterpunch article to his last name becoming a verb for masturbation because of the fact that he was caught masturbating in a Zoom meeting. In fact, he created another term “Zoom Dick.” There are actually two terms attributable to Jeffrey Toobin: One is “Zoom Dick” and the other is just “Toobin.” As in when you’re masturbating on webcam, you’re Toobin.

MAX
Toobin.

Dr. SUZY
Toobin.

MAX
Do you tube? And yeah, you could too, yup.

Dr. SUZY
But he was doing it secretly, which I don’t recommend, by the way. You shouldn’t be secretly masturbating when you’re in a meeting with your colleagues.

MAX
Isn’t that the same as tubing down a river?

Dr. SUZY
Something like that. I love tubing down a river.

MAX
There’s a lot of fun.

Dr. SUZY
Though it’s kind of dangerous for other reasons because of climate change.

UNSCENE ABE
Right.

Dr. SUZY
We have less river than we used to, so there’s all kinds of critters that can come out of there.

I used to love to go tubing down the Colorado River.

MAX
And dead bodies.

Dr. SUZY
Tubing on the river was so much fun. But yeah, I don’t know if I’d do it now. I did it when I went to Naropa Institute for the summer in Boulder. We used to tube naked down the river. It was so sexy to getting out there naked with your butt in the water.

MAX
The place to work.

Dr. SUZY
Well, now your butt gets hit by rocks, so no more tubing down the river for me.

But hey, Jeffrey Toobin. Zoom Dick guy, good luck to you. I never thought you were that great, but you’re not that bad either. You’re not a Trumper. So you’re OK, but yeah, now maybe you know if you need our services here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we would help you, and keep things private, but you really should have called for our services from the beginning, because we will help you with Toobin, whether you need to talk about it or actually just do it, or both,  you can call 213.291.9497 anytime, and really that is what Jeffrey Toobin should have done, and then he could have done it legally, I mean ethically. Because it was legal to just jack off. But it was unethical to just, you know, kind of upset his colleagues there at The New Yorker.

MAX
You know, you gotta relax-

Dr. SUZY
Including my Yale classmate, Jane Mayer.

MAX
You know, especially today. Haven’t you gotten dick pics before? What were they so outraged over?

Dr. SUZY
Well, I don’t mind dick pics myself, but it’s no fun to get a dick on your screen when you’re trying to concentrate on work.

But we have a call. Justin from California wants to talk about how masturbation has taken over his life, and I certainly want to hear about that.

OK Justin, hello…

JUSTIN
Hello, thank you for listening.

Dr. SUZY
No problem, so since we were talking about Toobin, aka masturbating, and now you are, telling us that it is overwhelming you.

JUSTIN
Yes, yes ma’am. I like to take things off from work and masturbate all day and I like to, like avoid family and current functions and just masturbate all day.

Dr. SUZY
Right. So, how do you afford to do that?

JUSTIN
Well, I maintain my job, but I am all my free time. It’s just total male penis masturbation.

Dr. SUZY
OK, so you do your job, that’s cool. How old are you?

JUSTIN
Yeah, 55.

Dr. SUZY
Well, you’re not wasting your life. You’ve lived more than half of it. Are you married or single?

MAX
Right.

JUSTIN
Yeah, totally single.

Dr. SUZY
All right, so nobody is being hurt by this, I guess. Except maybe your dick, if you do it to the point of getting skin abrasions.

JUSTIN
No, not like that.

Dr. SUZY
I mean, yeah, you know, sometimes you can hurt yourself with overdoing it and you should be aware of that.

JUSTIN
I understand.

Dr. SUZY
On the other hand, when it comes to the morality of it, I don’t see anything at all wrong with masturbating a lot. In fact, feel that nowadays there are so many problems from the Covid to the monkey pox to the mass murderers out there, and it’s tough dating.

MAX
Would you rather go to work or be at home masturbating, maybe have a drink, or maybe how about pleasure?

JUSTIN
Oh yeah.

MAX
How about pleasure?

JUSTIN
I love it and knocked down a cocktail, just kicking back and just need a good sound in my head all weekend.

MAX
Yeah, see.

Dr. SUZY
So does it result in any kind of problem for you, Justin?

JUSTIN
Not really, just uh… It is an extreme pleasure. I just look at-

Dr. SUZY
OK, well, I don’t see a problem with it either, so I just think it’s a question of giving yourself enough variety while staying as sustainable as possible, and masturbation in itself is pretty sustainable.

JUSTIN
Just love it so much.

Dr. SUZY
As long as you’re not joining the Mile High Club, unless you have to fly anyway for business, then you might as well make use of that restroom.

JUSTIN
Yeah, is this handy? Yeah, could I put my number out up there if anybody wants to call on? 818-679-7597. Give me a buzz.

MAX
That’s great, that’s great. You want to masturbate with him? It’s the Masturbation Society. It’s free and it’s healthy and right.

Dr. SUZY
And do you go for male, female, or trans or nonbinary? Or do you have specifics?

JUSTIN
Yeah, it’s cool. I’m a total male masturbator, but like I’m open to everything.

Dr. SUZY
You’re a total male masturbator, but you’re open to different types of people calling you?

MAX
All right?

Dr. SUZY
Is that right?

JUSTIN
Oh well, I’m sorry, like I love male masturbators OK.

Dr. SUZY
Oh, you love male masturbators, not female masturbators.

MAX
OK, so male masturbators.

Dr. SUZY
Is that right?

JUSTIN
Yeah, sorry, that is correct.

Dr. SUZY
Oh OK.

MAX
All right, all right guys.

Dr. SUZY
Well, that’s okay, I don’t take offense. There’s so many guys that like us female masturbators that I am all for you focusing on male masturbators, Justin, and I also just want to say you’re going to get more success ’cause there’s a lot more guys than gals out there that need this kind of connection.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And especially, as I said earlier, yeah, this is a safe thing to do right now during this volatile period, which hopefully we will work our way out of, but right now this is a great way to connect and be intimate and have wild explosive orgasms.

MAX
And be intimate with yourself so that you can-

JUSTIN
Right, yes Sir.

MAX
You can feel be touched.

JUSTIN
And not and you know, I like your voice, Mr. Sir. I’m very lonely and I would entertain any phone calls.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, he’s into guys.

MAX
No, I get that and that’s what I was saying. You’re alone, you’re at home whatever for whatever reason. And yet, if you can just talk to somebody and get pleasure from it, that’s it, baby.

Dr. SUZY
All right, Justin, you’re welcome to take that little snippet of Max’s voice from the recorded show and play it over and over as you jack off to it.

MAX
If goes viral, let me know.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right. So, hopefully the gentlemen will call you. They can rewind and get your phone number.

MAX
Great, you’re great. Be safe.

JUSTIN
Thank you Sir and thank you Ma’am. Thank you both.

Dr. SUZY
Thank you, alright, Ciao, Ciao.

MAX
Thank you brother. Alright bye bye.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, make kink, not war.

MAX
That was nice.

Dr. SUZY
It’s very nice, and of course he loved my Captain’s voice, that delicious baritone.

MAX
Oh, I thought he was talking about him.

Dr. SUZY
No, no, Abe purposely kept quiet. He got scared and also maybe intimidated by your voice.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, and I felt like if I started talking, he would say he started to find it attractive over the phone.

Dr. SUZY
He would have probably, yeah.

UNSCENE ABE
I would have the-

Dr. SUZY
Well, he’ll listen to you now when he listens to the taped version.

UNSCENE ABE
The face for radio.

MAX
Right, so this guy’s after an 80-year-old guy and a chicken.

MAX
Yeah, I’m too old to know young.

Dr. SUZY
I will watch you guys, by the way.

Oh gosh, I’m drawn to two different related subjects now, so you gotta let me go back and forth here. One is Prince William that we talked about last week being the Prince of Pegging. Apparently, he is also Big Willy, so I hear called that by Kate Middleton. Yes, Kate calls him Big Willy and I think that their PR people saw the #PrinceofPegging trending and just thought they’d put that out there for PR purposes: Big Willy

UNSCENE ABE
The Big Willy.

MAX
Sure.

Dr. SUZY
Which I respect, and Big Willy might be true, and it might not.  Prince of Pegging might be true, might not, but who knows. In any case, I’m not sure if people are trying to humanize the Royals in Britain and throughout the world, or if they’re just trying to stop the damage, but that’s what’s happening in the palace: The Prince of Pegging also is named Big Willie by his wife, Kate. It’s kind of wholesome in a way, but also just dirty enough to excite the old royal ladies.

MAX
Did you hear that Disney is getting into the rated adult?

Dr. SUZY
Well, they already are.

MAX
You know, no, but they’re moving-

UNSCENE ABE
OK.

MAX
So, after all this, they’re going into porn.

Dr. SUZY
More than I know. Well, maybe that’s what Ron DeSantis is onto. He hates Disney.

MAX
Yeah, maybe.

Dr. SUZY
He’s awful though.

MAX
He’s all that kind.

Dr. SUZY
I’m all for Disney going into adult. I don’t know the extent to which you mean. I just know a lot of guys are jacking off to Snow White.

MAX
Well, I’ve been doing that a long time.

Dr. SUZY
And those dwarves are all horny little critters.

MAX
Right?

Dr. SUZY
Sleeping Beauty is totally a Sleep Syndrome fetish object. All those fairy tales are based on fetishes. So hang on to your hats and dildos, brothers and sisters, as it all becomes more obvious as the media attempts to attract your eyeballs with extremities. Extreme anything is in, and that’s why Trump attracts so many of our eyeballs. He’s quite extreme.

Back to talking about sex and Dead Account who wants to take issue with me, saying “JK is not a trans ally.” But I didn’t say she was a trans ally, I just said that she isn’t anti-trans. I think there’s a difference.  A trans ally is more knowledgeable, really, and more active, more of an activist and she’s not. And Dead Account writes, she literally wrote a book about a person who poses as a trans woman who preyed on and dated ciswomen to kill them.” Yes, and I think that’s in bad taste but actually, what is that book about with the butterflies that Anthony Hopkins is in, that thing that Jodie Foster is in? “Silence of the Lambs.” Thank you. The villain was all about dressing up in a woman’s skin and I thought that was in bad taste. And I don’t defend her for that at all. I was just defending her for saying that she felt bad that another writer was attacked. I might even defend Ted Cruz for crying that his wife that he tolerates being called “ugly” died, but I felt a little identified with JK Rowling as a writer, and obviously Dead Account is upset with her, and I respect that. “It pushes the narrative that trans women are just men disguising themselves as women to predate and hunt ciswomen. She doesn’t give a damn about trans people, and actively pushes harmful and incorrect stereotyping. Religious extremism and capitalism will destroy everything.”

Wow.

MAX
Who’s this?

Dr. SUZY
This is Dead Account.

MAX
Oh wow, that’s heavy, man.

Dr. SUZY
So, first of all, the last line Dead Account said I totally agree with. “Religious extremism and capitalism will destroy everything.” And let’s just sit with that for a moment, because honestly, if I quibble with one or two of your points about the difference between the many, many, many different genders, the rainbow of genders and preferences that there might be, if we don’t see color to color, eye to eye on everything little thing, sue me.

But please don’t kill me, and religious extremism does kill me. And capitalism does kill me. And yes, I agree with you, Dead Account, that the two of them together kill everything. And they are both supported by Donald Trump. Even though he doesn’t believe in any of it. He’s just some con man that somehow knows how to attract eyeballs.

MAX
And their support by the followers, by the sheep. They’re supported by the sheep, not only the rich.

So here you go giving money to these people and then they take that money and put it into political action against me and the likes of me, and people that don’t agree with them. And they imprison us. And they discriminate against us.

Dr. SUZY
Yeah, and you know what? I don’t mind a little discrimination.

MAX
Hey, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
I grew up with it. I’m Jewish, so hey, I expect a little and I got that. You know, we had to sing Christmas carols. Joy to the World! I’m OK with that, in a way.

I’m not OK with you like reaching into my uterus for this Christofascist forced breeding.

MAX
Right.

Dr. SUZY
And I also want to give a shout out and a #GoBonobos to the people of Kansas for voting to stop the anti-abortion proposition from becoming the law. And I think that that just shows that there is some hope and sanity in America.

MAX
That’s great.

Dr. SUZY
However, there was a major loss in Louisiana today or yesterday, and so there’s a lot of work to be done.

MAX
Yeah, but Dr. SUZY, the major loss in Louisiana which I didn’t hear until now. It’s very clear we’re talking about Louisiana here, OK.

Dr. SUZY
Well, we’re talking about Kansas there.

MAX
Wait, wait, we gotta send them money for like, yeah.

Dr. SUZY
Hey, I have some great friends in Louisiana, including the dearly departed Anne Rice, who was a very liberal person and yet Catholic. I’m sure she didn’t believe in abortion for herself, but she would forever, want the right to abortion to be the law of the land, and she is not with us now, but there’s a lot of great people in New Orleans. It’s just the Lousiana state legislature is controlled by Christofascists.

MAX
And our radio station in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

Dr. SUZY
These were liberal Louisianan people that loved our show.

MAX
This was the guy, actually, he was the head Ford dealer in Lake Charles, LA and his friend was the Coca-Cola king. He manufactured the Coca-Cola in Louisiana and when we got kicked off the radio, this man calls and he says, “Let me understand something: Were you kicked off the air?”

Yes, we were. Then he says, “Don’t worry about it. You’re gonna be back on next week. I’m going to go talk to Mr… I forget what his name was, and we were… He bought the station. and he said, “Out of here!”

So yes, I’m sorry Louisiana. I take it all back. There are some good apples in Louisiana.

Dr. SUZY
That’s right, and so we have to fight for Louisiana. The right to abortion is a human right. It helps us women to be fully human, so we can help you all, to be the Water Lady and the Sex Lady and the Love Lady. It helps us to live full lives. These anti-abortion laws are crazy. They murder women.

MAX
But you see, if you don’t have babies, us guys can’t recruit.

Dr. SUZY
Right.

MAX
We can’t recruit to send people to war, to send people into the factories, we need lots of bombolinis, but now we get a lot of bombolones.

Dr. SUZY
But you see, this is where we come to sustainable sex. So, I just want to try to summarize this conversation that I had with Dr. Brian Hare about female choice. He told me that they did a study showing there’s a tendency for all the females to choose to have babies with the alpha male. And this seemed to threaten my idea of the Bonobo Way of male well-being for all males, because he was saying basically yeah, they favored just the dominant male for having babies.

MAX
And is that at all different levels?

Dr. SUZY
OK, so I write, “Thanks for getting back with me, Brian, I really appreciate it. Hoots of love and friendship to Vanessa and Congo (that’s their dog)… Honestly, at first I felt these findings threatened my theory that a key aspect to the bonobo’s unique-among-apes ability to keep themselves from killing each other, in addition to female empowerment, is male well-being, since males of all ape species (well, OK, all species) are notoriously horny. Sexual satisfaction is almost always fairly important to male well-being, and these findings that all the bonobo ladies gravitate to just one Bonobo King Solomon for mating – whether due to this dominant male’s winning friendly personality or his mother’s high status (which is true) – leaving all the beta boys to suffer with blue balls seems to dispute that theory. It’s nice for what you’re saying about female choice, but how do the guys feel? It makes me want to ask, like Frans de Waal’s colleagues when he first explained bonobo female power to them, ‘Why do the males put up with that?’

And sure, one reason for bonobo male acquiescence is bonobo female solidarity. Those lady gangs are tough. But does that mean that the not-so-dominant males are all miserable peons putting up with this gross sexual inequality that sounds on the surface to be even more extreme and unfair than among chimps or humans? Or could it be that sex – if you define it as I do to include recreational sex, not just procreational – is actually abundantly available for the beta bonobo males too? And that keeps them in a state of well-being recreational sex includes procreational reproductive, AKA PIV penis in vagina intercourse during ovulation that only lasts a few seconds… But it also includes oral sex, which I’ve seen go on for over an hour at the zoo remember and massage and mutual masturbation and rump rubbing and penis fencing and all that stuff with the other males with older females and with females who aren’t necessarily ovulating.”

MAX
Yes, yes.

Dr. SUZY
Because they do hide their estrus well. As a sex therapist, I know that many human males, maybe even most are happy to have these types of recreational sex available to them, such as Justin, who called asking about male-male sex phone sex actually, so they’re pretty happy, and this is why it’s OK in bonobo society, it’s not about procreation. It’s about recreation. That’s the kind of sex we need a lot of, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners.

And this goes on and I don’t want to read my whole thing here, but I end with, “Considering these findings on these alpha male babydaddies fathering most of the offspring, recreational sex seems to be an even more important piece of the bonobo peace-through-pleasure puzzle than I thought. And I realize that as a sex therapist, as opposed to a scientist like yourself, I’m probably imposing my “Make Love Not War” worldview on poor Pan paniscus… But am I wrong?

So, Dr. Brian did not write back [see above where he does] But Vanessa did.

MAX
Ah oh.

Dr. SUZY
And she wrote, “I think you are exactly on point. I love it.”

Thank you, Vanessa.

UNSCENE ABE
This is Vanessa Block?

Dr. SUZY
No, no, no. If it was Vanessa Block, that would be nepotism. No, this is Vanessa Woods. We know a few different Vanessas.

UNSCENE ABE
Yeah, I was like alright, which business?

Dr. SUZY
No, this is not Vanessa Block. We have two famous Vanessas in our lives.

MAX
Yeah, Vanessa is great. I love this Vanessa here.

UNSCENE ABE
Because Vanessa-

Dr. SUZY
Which one?

MAX
Well, the one you’re talking about. But that’s, uh, oh.

Dr. SUZY
Vanessa Woods is the author of “Bonobo Handshake” and “Survival of the Friendliest,” and she wrote that second one with Brian, and you can watch them on our show on our website at https://DrSusanBlock.com/survival-of-the-friendliest  or on YouTube and you can read their book.

MAX
Yeah, and there’s no age restriction, right?

Dr. SUZY
Oh no.

MAX
They can watch this. It’s a very important fact that we learn about our friends out there in a while. And how much to connect it to us?

Dr. SUZY
They are very sex positive although I push them a little.

So, I hope you read their book and stay involved in the Bonobo Way, both in a large universal way and in helping to save the bonobos with Lola Ya Bonobo and Friends of Bonobos, where Vanessa works, and also through the Bonobo Conservation Initiative, where our friend Sally Coxe founded and directs.

And I think we’re now almost out of time.

MAX
Pretty soon, let’s wind it up.

Dr. SUZY
I do want to say RIP Anne Heche, a great actress who went out in a blaze not of glory but pain.

MAX
Look at these photos. By the way, these photos, they’re all available on the site. You can buy them directly from us. In fact, we have operators that are lying down on our couches, just waiting.

Dr. SUZY
Right, and we have Trump Art of all kinds, including a deck of cards, and if you’re a pro-Trump, you might like it, and you’re anti Trump like us, you might like that too, or our “Golden Showers on Trump” clip that you can watch on Clip-O-Rama, featuring Mistress Tara Indiana and Rhiannon Aaron’s and Bambi Leigh, and it was the beginning of Dominatrixes against Donald Trump and the late great Jacquie Blu.

MAX
And by the way, even though you have to pay for some of these things, the show is free, and site is free. Most of the things here on our sites are free and don’t ask me why, but one of the reasons is because it’s supported by Dr. Suzy. Clients have supported our work for many, many years. And supported by you, you know. And I mean I could do a GoFundMe. I don’t need that. All I need is for you to buy a couple of T-shirts, get a book, you know?

Dr. SUZY
And how about lace panties? I saw you had them up there and I understand you’re not allowed to have lace panties in Russia now?

MAX
In Russia now is coming up in Kazakhstan.

Dr. SUZY
Right, and I’m not even gonna go towards pronouncing those names.

UNSCENE ABE
Kazhakus…?

Dr. SUZY
You guys can fall over yourselves with your sexy voices that Justin wants. I don’t know if they really have a “no lace panties” law.

MAX
No, that is outlawing them.

Dr. SUZY
I do know that the war is still raging in Ukraine with no winners really, except the arms dealers.

MAX
Right, and these and these people are outlawing. You know why they’re outlawing them? Because they don’t have a little absorption thing where the opening or the female stuff is. They have developed bad.

Dr. SUZY
Well, I’m not sure what their deal is and that’s their business, I’m not going to get on that, I just don’t appreciate the bombing and that is wrong, and that was started by Putin.

And by the way, Russia is not socialist so please stop calling it that, and you know who you are. Russia is a fascist kleptocracy. I am socialist.

Socialism is like Social Security. It’s checks in the mail. It’s public schools. It’s public parks. It’s taxing, the rich, it’s Fuck Da Rich. Putin is rich. And he’s got that long table, but on the other hand, maybe that is the problem, probably he should masturbate more. His girlfriend certainly got snatched. But anyway, these are things that FDR did and that we support FDR for these are socialist things. Russia is not socialist.

I am not for arming Ukraine, and my country is doing that, and I feel that we need to put pressure and give permission to have peace talks. It’s the Bonobo Way. Make like bonobos, not baboons.

MAX
I have learned the equation also. Of course, Corona Beer is pretty good and don’t forget to listen to me when you can catch me. It’s called the Catch Me Show, and I’m gonna tell you about my life and my love.

Dr. SUZY
OK, so should we talk about that?

MAX
My adventures? Not now, no.

Dr. SUZY
Well, you just stopped me from ending, so we might as well talk about it.

MAX
No, no, no, I said go ahead and end it and-

Dr. SUZY
We’re going to talk about your life.

UNSCENE ABE
It’s coming soon.

Dr. SUZY
And it’s just coming soon.

MAX
I mean through this call, catch me if you can.

Dr. SUZY
Whatever you use, even if it’s the stupid, messed up Espionage Act, let’s take down Trump and let’s free Assange.

Be good. Then that means don’t kill anybody, whether you have a badge or you don’t. I would say whether you have a gun, or you don’t, but so many of you have guns, so yeah, whether you have anything that can kill, please don’t kill anybody. Let’s stop the killing now. Let’s have a little sustainable sex. No more Trump Nukes.

MAX
Just wanted to tell you that if you’re living in Arcadia or El Monte, there’s an Amazon return station there, and if you like Amazon, you buy a lot of stuff from them, you gotta go there. It’s right across from Sam’s. I don’t know the name because I forgot to get it off my phone, but it’s right across from Sam’s. Now there’s a wonderful, wonderful lady. She gave me a few little gifts, including a stamp. Go visit.

Goodnight, Dr. Suzy.

Dr. SUZY
Until we meet again, be good, be happy, try not to hurt anyone, including yourself. Whatever your religion, your sexuality, your gender, your belief, your desire…

Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make kink, not war. Make Love Not War.  Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you.

I love you.

Show Length 01:38:19  Date: August 13, 2022

© August 13,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.