Length 1:36:04 Date: Sept. 12, 2020

by Dr. Susan Block.

From a Documentary Emmys party with the 2020 nominees to a Self-Love September celebration with an international threesome—GiLF body-builder, Bulgarian erotic artist and Colorado cam model—to a Covid-questioning caller, our newest Pomeranian bonobo and a sapiosexual reality check on the Tangerine Kleptocrat’s fantasy factory, this show hops all over the map, but hangs together like the perfect outfit.

From FDR’s Fireside to My Bedside, I’m here for you throughout the Coronapocalypse and beyond… Photo: Selfie

It’s my 21st Bedside Chat of the Coronapocalypse, inspired by FDR’s Fireside Chats…

Festivities commence before dusk with a visit to the annual Emmys Documentary Zoom Party at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.

Buoyed by memories of glamorous Emmys parties past, I don a sparkly top and log onto the reception.

Here’s yet another case, like Virtual DomCon, where an event is much more fun in person. But a Virtual Emmys Party is better than no Emmys Party.

No, I didn’t win nor am I even nominated for an Emmy—The Dr. Susan Block Show is way too sexy for a boob-tube statuette.

However, I’ve been a proud, card-carrying member of the Academy, Documentary Division since its turn-of-21^st-century beginnings. With my friend and Emmy-winning HBO director, Documentary Peer Group founder and original governor Shari Cookson, her husband Charlton McMillan (my Emmy-winnng HBO specials editor), and Dan Birman, current governor, I feel I’m part of the Academy family.

Well, the black sheep of the Academy family.

Though we don’t get to rub shoulders and clink glasses, we do get to hear more from the Emmy nominees than we do when featured star number one is Ketel One.

Zooming into the Academy Emmys Party for the Documentary Division.

A toast to all the nominees! Reality TV may have little to do with real reality, but great documentaries touch us with eternal truths.

Tis the Season of Self-Love

Emmys time is September which is also the season of Self-Love, so Happy Self-Love September (SLS).

Whipping it up for Self-Love September 2020. Photo: Harry Sapien

I love self-love, don’t you?

Though according to the Internet, SLS is more about noble ideals of self-improvement than the earthy reality of self-pleasure.

It’s understandable. SLS has only been around a few years (May as Masturbation Month goes back to 1994), and for most of our society, endorsing the benefits of self-pleasure is still taboo.   

“Self-love” means different things, of course.

The Coronapocalypse is not the best time for hooking up with someone new, which makes it the perfect time for a shame-free SLS.

One common #SelfLoveSeptember meme is to “accept that although we will always be less than perfect, we are works in progress that deserve to be loved.”

Fair enough, though a little trite–the kind of saying that might be on a Sunday school staff break room refrigerator magnet.

In my not-so-humble opinion, if self-love doesn’t include a little quality masturbation time (which could be mutual masturbation), you’re not fully self-loving. In fact, you’re cheating yourself of one of the best parts.

It’s great to exercise, eat healthy and “love yourself” platonically. But loving yourself erotically is also good for you, and it’s natural. Aside from grasping tree branches and smartphones, human fingers are made for stroking, strumming… and self-loving! 

Bonobo fingers are made for self-love too. You see bonobos and other primates doing it in the zoo so much, you might want to tell them to “get a room.”

Of course, there’s no reason you can’t go bonobos for self-love all year around; but Self-Love September is a great time for you self-love slackers to step up your game.

The Coronapocalypse is not the best time for hooking up with someone new, which makes it the perfect time for a shame-free SLS.

So, if you haven’t self-loved yourself yet this month, set the mood, buy yourself flowers and a dildo or a vibrator, tell yourself you’re gorgeous (and make sure you really mean it!) give yourself a massage and make beautiful self-love.

You deserve it.

Speaking of which… Does tRump deserve self-love?

Considering how much damage he’s done, my short answer is: No!

Whipping the Presidunce for his multiple crimes against Americans. Photo: Harry Sapien

From letting almost 200,000 Americans die of Covid to fellating billionaires and racists to lying 20,000 times in less than four years to stiffing contractors (as detailed in Michael Cohen’s juicy new Disloyal) to declaring that riots will happen in Biden’s America when riots are now happening in Trump’s America to inflicting so many of us with his peculiar kind of PTSD, Post-Trump Sex Disorder which, if you or your partner catch it, is not as funny as it sounds, the Trumpus does not deserve a single day-old French fry, let alone the marvelous benefits of self-love.

Then again, maybe if the Trumpus loved himself—body, mind and soul—he’d do less damage.

Everyone deserves self-love—body, mind and soul—and the beneficiaries of such love are the individual, the couple, the family and society. A little self-love can go a long way; the pathologically self-loathing Trumpus might even love himself so much, he resigns!

One can wish! One can believe…

Gender Reveal Disaster Parties

Speaking of beliefs… If you live on the West Coast and you don’t believe in Global Warming, wake up and smell the smoke!

It’s a BOY… and a disaster!

Fortunately, thus far, Bonoboville has been spared. Unfortunately, much of California and Oregon are on fire thanks to a flaming combo of Climate Catastrophe and Human Stupidity.

For instance, the El Dorado Fire, though the crazy Climate-Changed heat and wind allowed it to burn over 13,000 San Bernadino Forest acres, was caused by an all-t00-human Gender-Reveal Party.

Just in case your friends and relatives aren’t fetus-fetishizing lunatics, a “gender-reveal party” dramatically announces an unborn baby’s gender, often with pyrotechnic explosions of blue (for boys) or pink (for girls) smoke.

This is obnoxious even if it doesn’t cause wildfires. How sexually controlling can a parent be?

A Gender Reveal Party says gender is destiny. And it’s just one of two: Pink or Blue. No purple gender-fluid Gender Reveals.

It’s a surprise party designed to eliminate surprises. But human life is filled with surprises. What if your baby girl likes blue? What if your baby boy likes pink panties and nylons?

By their very nature, gender reveal parties set you up to fail—and that’s not counting when they burn down the neighborhood, which turns an act of calculating idiocy into a homicidal catastrophe.

Boola Boola Blue. Photo: Harry Sapien

Of course, you procreation fanatics have a right to throw all the silly, controlling yet futile Gender Reveal parties you crave. But please, just do it with cake.

I love fireworks—orgasms for the eyes—and I totally empathize with your lust for pretty explosions. But not during fire season which is now firenado season and lasts most of the year.

If you hold a pyrotechnic Gender Reveal Party in a dry meadow and you don’t think it’s going to go up in flames, you live in a fantasy world, which is where more and more people appear to have taken up residence these days.

Fantasies & Lies

An aspect of living in fantasy is lying.

Disloyal is De Bomb. Photo: Harry Sapien

You could also call it “playing”… up or “playing down.”

I’m all for playing—sex play, roleplay, fun play—but not playing with fire or the facts, causing murder and mayhem. In excerpts from Bob Woodward’s new book, RAGE (which I haven’t read), the Raging Trump Bull says he knew Coronavirus was deadly and easily spread back in late January, but he chose to “play it down.”  In other words, the pathological bullshit spewer chose to spew bullshit—as he so often does with zero accountability—so he could keep holding rallies to stroke his needy narcissism and pump up the stock market to boost his re-election chances, helping to cause almost 200,000 deaths so far.

This homicidal Presidunce needs to be impeached again—but successfully this time please.

QAnon and the rest of his base don’t care what he does. They are floating on Cloud Nine in their Great American Fantasy world where the Trumpus Rumpus is King and can do no wrong.

Hey, I get it. Reality sucks, especially in these days of Fire and Covid Fury. I help people to escape reality through fantasy every day in the Erotic Theater of the Mind. But this type of fantasy play is for fun, relaxation, entertainment and therapy.

It’s not for governing.

Government should not be in the fantasy biz. Government should help its citizens to handle that pesky problem of reality. It’s true that no American government, inherently corrupt as they all are, is great at leveling with people about reality. But the kleptocratic Trumpus doesn’t even go through the motions. He is, after all, the star of an old Reality TV show, which tends to be the opposite of real reality, with mobster fantasies and pretentions.

The Trump Crime Family consigliere Michael Cohen’s Disloyal reads like a pseudo mafia soap opera. It sounds silly, but this is one HUUUUGGEE reason why Trumpty Dumpty fell into the White House, because he’s such a character.

An evil character to some, a clown to others, a hero to his cult, a heel to wrestling fans, a fascist to the anti-fascists, a big fat dangerous baby maybe… but tRump is a character, unlike Obama, the Clintons, and even the awful Bushes and most other U.S. Presidents in recent memory.

Reality might be critical, but characters like Trumpty Dumpty get ratings, thus more media coverage, thus more votes. 

Thus we have this “dangerously unfit” character in our White House, the Presidunce of our collective dreams, nightmares and fantasies.

Meanwhile, back in reality, our tax dollars are paying our Justice Department to defend tRump’s lying, cheating, raping rump in a personal defamation suit brought by the lovely, sapiosexual E. Jean Carroll, one of many women accusing the self-confessed Pussy-Grabber of sexual assault.

Also meanwhile, on the 19^th anniversary of 9/11, our fantasy government can afford to spend over $6 trillion on disastrous post 9/11 wars, but it can’t afford to send us a few hundred bucks so we can practice physical-distancing and lower the spread of Covid-19.

Reality check, please!

Tossing reality into the Trumpster Dumpster Fire, Fantasy Riddler Roger Stone is calling for Trump to seize total power, incarcerate the opposition and declare martial law if he loses the election! With Presidentially-pardoned, felonious characters like Stone on the loose, who needs prisons?

Preternaturally Annoying Swinger, & Fascist Jackboot-Licking Gadfly, Roger Stone.

Yes, there are quite a few characters in this Trumpenstein monster/horror/disaster blockbuster that we’re all being trafficked in as expendable extras.

This is just one of many reasons to Vote Blue. True, Biden/Harris aren’t ideal, by any means. But as Capt’n Max says: “the ideal is the enemy of the real.” And if ever there was a time we needed to choose the real lesser of two evils, that time is now.

This is also why we need to celebrate Self-Love September!

And to help us celebrate, we have an exciting threesome of fun featured guests…

Body-Building GILF Azure Dee

Our first guest is an award-winning body builder and porn star, Azure Dee.

GILF Body-Buildeer Azure Dee on DrSuzy.Tv

Petite but powerful, Azure Dee flexes the impressive “cut” muscles that have won her many medals in figure competitions since she first started competing back in 1979—over forty years ago!

Azure doesn’t look half her age, but she’s a GILF (Grandmother I’d Like to F*ck), which is great because, besides Self-Love September, we’re also celebrating Grandparents Day Eve as we broadcast this show live.

For self-love, Azure adores the intensity of her rabbit vibrator.

She’s also a specialist in a Japanese erotic massage technique known as Nuru that involves a naked masseuse rubbing their also-naked client with a “slippery/smooth” gel made from seaweed.

A Nuru wrestling match with porn star/muscle woman Azure Dee would be exciting.

Azure Dee gets a good work out.

There are many reasons I can’t wait until the Coronapocalypse is over, and now a new one is so Azure can visit Bonoboville and I can feel her muscles!

Bulgarian Art & Sex Therapy

Next, we Zoom all the way around the world to Bulgaria where we chat with Marina Svetlozarova, erotic artist, nude model and sex therapist with the Dr. Susan Block Institute.

Bulgarian Erotic Artist, Nude Model and Dr. Susan Block Institute sex therapist Marina Svetlozarova on DrSuzy.Tv.

Marina’s Eastern European accent is very seductive to American ears. She’s also warm, insightful and sexually open. It’s no wonder she’s one of the Institute’s most requested therapists.

Despite—or perhaps because of—growing up in the sexually conservative culture of Bulgaria, Marina started developing erotic awareness at an early age. In the fourth grade, she acquired a magazine featuring nude women. When her mother found it, she didn’t even mind.

Even more amazingly, when Marina was just fourteen, she posed nude herself for a photographer friend and posted her own photos on the blackboard at school!

It’s rather counter-intuitive, but in various ways, outwardly conservative cultures like Bulgaria can be more sexually forgiving than so-called liberal cultures like America where bikini-clad influencers are ubiquitous, but real sex education is rare.

Interestingly, Marina herself is an educator, a high school teacher. Would she be able to keep her job if her nude photos were discovered? Most U.S. schools would probably fire her, but maybe they’re less rigid—or Internet-savvy—in Bulgaria.

She says her students often come to her with sex questions, for which her work with the Dr. Susan Block Institute gives her an excellent background.

Marina of Bulgaria in Black & White.

Marina is constantly learning new things from our diverse clients—as am I.

She is writing a book, Sex Across Cultures, based on her experiences in Bulgaria and abroad, at the Institute and in her personal life, with an international array of sex partners.

When I ask which she thinks is the most romantic nationality, she hesitates, then confesses, “Italian.”

Like a Madame for my own spouse, I prompt Capt’n Max to “say something sexy in Italian.”

“Ah, gli Italiani sono molto buoni, sono bellisimi,” he murmurs in his seductive baritone.

“Ah si,” Marina replies, giggling like that schoolgirl she once was just before posting nudes of herself…

When I ask for her favorite SLS sex toy, she replies that she prefers her boyfriend’s cock, which she lovingly calls “penischeto.”

Speaking of nice genitalia, Marina also shares some of her beautiful erotic art and jewelry with us.

Several pieces depict the vulva—perfect for Labia Day!

To speak with Marina or one of our other sex therapists privately (for phone therapy or webcam therapy), call 213.291.9497.

Cody Questions Corona

In between guests, we take a call from Cody in Iowa.

Chatting about Corona with Cody in Iowa. Photo: Harry Sapien

Cody isn’t exactly a raving, QAnon-loving, Bible-thumping Trumper.

However, he comes close to calling Coronavirus a “hoax” when he questions the validity of the death count, claiming people are being paid to change their loved ones’ cause of death to “Covid-19,” even if it was cancer, stroke or pneumonia. There is a “comorbidity controversy” as to how to report cause of death when, as is often the case, there are multiple causes. But it’s not a George-Soros funded plot to keep Americans masked, socialist or drinking Corona beer.

Unfortunately, between Covid-19 and other odd airborne diseases, as well as our increasingly toxic air quality, the protective face mask may evolve from a politically-charged symbol to being as essential as wearing shoes.

As for socialism, I wish Soros or somebody would bring some form of it to America. As for Corona beer, I’ll have another.

Capt’n Max also has a few choice words for Cody. Having been born in the Vatican Hospital of Rome in 1943, with bombs dropping and war raging all around him, Max is a Nazi-fighter and an anti-fascist through and through.

Capt’n Max tells it like it is as Trumpty Dumpty squirms in the Hot Seat. Photo: Harry Sapien

Between Max’s passionate rant and my gentler persuasion, Cody pretty much drops his crusade against the “Corona Hoax.”

Once again, I have to say: The Bonobo Way saves the day!

Cody’s got a lot more on his mind, but we don’t have much time.

His willingness to listen and adjust his views earns him an invitation to call us back.

Stay tuned for more adventures with Covid-Questioning Cody from Iowa!

Vivacious Vixen

Last but not at all least, we Zoom over to the sultry boudoir of sexy Cam4 cam model Vanessa Vixen.

Bedside Chat with Vanessa Vixen. Photos: Harry Sapien

A delightfully slim, blonde bombshell, Vanessa has the big broad smile and soulful eyes of a young Julia Roberts.

A young mother, she appears to have entered the camming field as a great way to earn cash and remain a stay-at-home mom.

It’s easy to see why Vanessa is one of Cam4’s most popular models, rising in the ranks every day. She’s bubbling over with enthusiasm and, though she takes the Coronapocalypse seriously, it hasn’t slowed her down. Not only is she camming more than ever, she’s making sex clips. When I ask who her lucky sex partner is, she turns around and produces a big tray of colorful silicone dildos.

Happy Self-Love September!

Vanessa says she is “pansexual,” which would account for the multi-colors and styles in her sex toy collection.

She’s also a “private dancer.” I don’t know if she “keeps her eyes on the wall,” like Tina Turner sings, but I’m sure she puts on a good show.

How do I know? For one thing, Vanessa Vixen has a perfect body. It’s true that I think most women of all shapes and sizes have “perfect bodies,” so maybe that’s not such a special compliment.

Let me then specify that Vanessa Vixen has a model-perfect body.

Vanessa Vixen’s Perfect Lil Pre-Op Bod live on DrSuzy.Tv. Notice her fingering the tray of SLS dildos. Photo: Harry Sapien

I say this not to inflate her ego (though I’m happy to do that), but because she is on her way to Cancun to get plastic surgery to inflate her perfect little boobs and her perfect little butt to competitive proportions.

Sigh.

I’m all for women, men and everybody else doing whatever kinds of body transformations, enhancements, tattoos, piercings or surgeries they like.

Surgical Freedom for All!

I myself have received surgery for life-threatening conditions (open heart valve, septic shock, respiratory issues), though I’ve never had plastic surgery. I’m not against it, though it’s not for me, and I do think you should think long and hard about it before you get any surgery, except for emergencies.

And I don’t think Vanessa should get it; I just think she’s gorgeous the way she is, and surgery is so dangerous, it shouldn’t be undertaken lightly. But if she wants it—as she clearly does—then my thoughts are pretty irrelevant… so, she should get it!

She also isn’t taking it “lightly,” but insists that she has thought “long and hard” about it.

Though all this “long and hard” stuff is starting to sound like her dildo collection.

Well, what better time to get plastic surgery than the Coronapocalypse?

Vanessa says she will come back on the show in a few months to show off the “after” effects.

This being “before,” she strips off her bra and shows off her adorable bare breasts.

Sigh. We are already sad to see them go. But curious to see how they will change.

Adorable Vixen

Whatever happens, we look forward to having Vanessa back because, in addition to being a vamping pansexual Vixen, she’s a very sweet bonoboësque human.

Chico the Pomeranian Bonobo

Before we close the show, we introduce our newest member of Bonoboville: Chico Peggles Quintana!

Ana with Chico Peggles Quintana on DrSuzy.Tv.

Since our beloved Betsy passed away a few months ago, Bonoboville has felt empty without a dog in the house… or tearing up the garden.

So, we are all thrilled to welcome Ana and Miguel’s sweet, insanely soft, little ball of mostly Pomeranian fluff with four legs and a tail that never covers his ass.

Chico Peggles Quintana (Chico for short) likes bugs, flowers and toys (everybody likes toys).

He does not like cactus.

He also loves his new “mama,” Ana. So do we!

Having almost fully recovered from her surgery (which was not plastic!), Ana and Miguel whip up a chicken taquito feast for Bonoboville that no one can—or should—resist.

Mutual Masturbation Preparation. Photo: Selfie

Filled with taquitos, Ketel One, Blue Wave hope and sexy dreams, my Captain and I celebrate Self-Love September with a little orgasmic, fantasy-fueled but reality-based, mutual self-love which (in our case anyway) pretty much amounts to love.

SELF-LOVE SEPTEMBER REALITY CHECK PHOTO ALBUM

September 12, 2020 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.