Length 01:38:59 Date: April 17, 2021

by Dr. Susan Block. 

America is now a 3.8 million-square-mile shooting range masquerading as a country. From cops to crazy people—including some crazy, ammosexual, sadistic cops—Americans are shooting to kill their fellow Americans like hasn’t been seen since the Civil War. Though other crimes dipped, murders surged in the Coronapocalypse. Now, as we’re opening up again, mass shootings are pelting American cities (45 this past month) faster than we can say “thoughts and prayers.” As I write this, two more mass murders are in progress, one with an active shooter at large.

So, all aboard the F.D.R. Love Train! No tickets required. We just want you to shoot the gun between your legs—peacefully, consensually, lovingly, and maybe with a nice squirt.

It’s The Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure, the opposite of the American Way of death through murder.

Killings by cops are also up, and that is perhaps most disturbing, since we pay these particular, fully armed Americans to “protect and serve” the rest of us.

Who Polices the Police?

And that’s where our Love Train ride begins, with Capt’n Max roaring like a locomotive against police brutality, police corruption and police support for accused vigilante killer Kyle Rittenhouse. Hopefully, Killer Boy Kyle is no relation to Pennsylvania Founding Fathers David and William Rittenhouse who lend their illustrious name to Philly’s swanky Rittenhouse Hotel where we spent a very whacky Wedding Night. For more about that, listen above or below.

Meanwhile, Mariah, Unscene Abe, caller Mel and various commenters, join in with tales of their own encounters with violent police, plus a few “good cop” stories. Actress Danièle Watts, who played a sexy cop on Weeds (Happy 4/20!), chimes in that her police officer cousin got her drunk for the first time at age 17… for which this lapsed Seventh Day Adventist is now devilishly thankful.

Still, the bad cop stories out-shoot the good, especially in the dark shadow of the Derek Chauvin trial.  Chauvin’s sadistic knee on George Floyd’s neck outraged the world because it happened so slowly right before our eyes. Usually, cop killings are quick and out of sight, like the way Officer Karen—I mean Kim—Potter claims she thought her gun was a taser, using it to kill Daunte Wright in cold blood with a single shot on a traffic stop. Ironically, George Floyd’s girlfriend was one of Daunte Wright’s teachers, according to his aunt, Naisha Wright. The human network of police brutality victims can be tragically tight. As I write this, reports are coming in of another cop killing at Portland’s protest against cop killings.

We live in a land where a trained cop can panic and fire the wrong deadly weapon without accountability, but an untrained civilian must remain calm with a gun in their face or they very well might be murdered.

I had an LAPD gun in my face as a nervous young cop with his finger on the trigger chided me for wearing jewelry that he *could* have mistaken for a weapon. Sorry Officer, but I was getting dressed for my show… not to be raided for no good reason by the LAPD.

Listen above or below for that story and many more amazing and disturbing “cop stories” from our callers and listeners.

April Showers Bring May Orgasms

From mass murder to killer cops, we’re going through a pretty dark tunnel. But we’re on the LOVE train, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, and as we emerge from the dark tunnel, the heavens open and we release the water cannons of love for our after-show, with Spring Showers 2011.

This classic special Dr. Susan Block Show features the first spectacular multi-squirting appearance of one of the great wet wonders of the world, top-heavy Texas MILF and Squirting Queen Deauxma. We’re also graced by several other exciting guests, including gorgeous Prinzzess Felicity Jade, one of the Captain’s personal favorites. But Deauxma really steals—or floods—the show in a magnificent spring display—that’s gone viral over the years and has probably been seen by about a billion open-mouthed viewers.

If you are one of the few who hasn’t yet witnessed this eye-popping display of the heights of female ejaculation (yes, some of Deauxma’s Holy Water literally hits the ceiling—and by that I mean the 18-foot rafters of our old Downtown Speakeasy), watch Spring Showers. Wear your raincoat—it’s a wet one!

Want to learn to squirt? I believe every woman—and of course man, as well as trans person—can squirt but, for various reasons, not all of us *allow* it to happen. I just did an erotic hypnosis session with a famous porn star (no, I won’t say who!), helping her to squirt voluntarily for the first time. What a sexual revelation!

As I’m writing this, a note from her just came in:

Hello Dr. Susan ! I meant to tell you! So after our session was over I jumped on top of my bf and started squirting like crazy! I squirt all over my headboard from the foot of my bed! It was so much fun and the experience my partner has been dreaming of! He wants to do a session next! We both can’t wait until you can do in person sessions again too.

Woohoo! Success!

Whether you want to try it or not, female ejaculation and sex of any kind is certainly intriguing and can be just as interesting as violence—not to mention a lot healthier.

Nevertheless, our media prefers to use violence—or bad scandalous sex (rarely good, sex-positive sex)—as clickbait, adding tremendously to the mounting problem of lethal violence and bad sex in America.

Throw in anti-sex religiosity, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster, which is what I grappled with recently in “Church-Based Cuckoldry Gone Wrong” and “Massage Parlor Massacre,” both tragedies that appear to be caused by the toxic mix of guns, God and sex problems.

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Violence

This leads me to the response to CBCGW (please read it or listen to the show if you want to better understand the following), the story of Oklahoma Evangelical Pastor David Evans who was allegedly a “cuckold,” murdered by his “bull,” Kahlil, at the behest of his “hot wife,” Kristie.

And it’s not just any comment from a reader or listener. It’s a retweet from Brittany Long, the daughter of the late Pastor Dave and his wife Kristie, now in jail for the murder, with a message:

“This is disgusting.

Get my name out of this article and realize these are real people and real families affected by this tragedy. It’s a joke to you, but it’s my current nightmare.

Fuck you, @DrSuzy. And you too, @NatCounterpunch.”

Whoa? “Fuck” me? Wait—I’m not even rich…

Seriously, this one hit me hard. It’s not like my Counterpunch articles and shows don’t often receive criticism, but this sounded like a cry for help from the daughter of the two main “characters.” I didn’t feel guilty or wrong for writing the article the way I did—sexological opinions, quirky humor, leftist spins and all. I just felt very sad—though not surprised—to witness someone hurting so badly at the center of this American family tragedy.

I replied to her: “I’m so sorry for your loss, Brittney Long. And I’m sorry it hurt you to read my opinion as a sex therapist. It must be tough to be living through a personal nightmare that’s also a viral story that resonates with so many people with strong opinions, including me. Best wishes.”

Max also tweeted: “Perhaps preachers should be preaching tolerance for consensual sexuality, instead of shaming people and raging against the “devil” and sin. That’s what Dr. Suzy’s article is saying. In the end, there’s a dead human, and that’s a tragedy we all need to talk about. We are not Gods.”

Fortunately, words, unlike bullets, can be “taken back.”

Then Brittney tweeted back: “My problem is the way this was sensationalized for clicks. I’m all about healthy consensual sex and there definitely needs to be talk surrounding that. However, my mom was abused and FORCED into these situations. It’s not a matter of cuckoldry. It’s domestic abuse turned murder…That’s the truth that I want to be shared. My mom faced 30 years of severe abuse and this is how she escaped. It’s a tragedy with real victims and real pain.”

That tweet did surprise me. Now she wasn’t just lashing out. She was reaching out, telling us her *side* of a story that the Mainstream Media had been covering somewhat differently, portraying Kristie as a willing participant in their threesomes, even meeting separately with Kahlil for sex and plotting. Even if Pastor Dave coerced Kristie into cuckolding (a distinct possibility—considering his Evangelical tirades against the “Devil”), that doesn’t excuse cold-blooded murder, not to mention dragging someone else (Kahlil) into doing the deed for her with the Pastor’s own gun.

Nevertheless, I thought Brittney Long’s story deserved to be shared, so I posted it to my Twitter followers, adding: “As per your request, I’m sharing your truth here, Brittney. I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. Yes, there are ‘real victims and real pain [in this] tragedy,’ as well as important lessons about sexuality, religion and gun violence for all of us to learn.”

Then she replied, “Thank you, Dr. Suzy, for sharing the truth. I take back my “fuck you” and applaud you for believing survivors.”

Wow. Just wow. What a glowing transformation. For all the times I’ve felt America coming apart at the seams of irrevocable divisiveness, I take heart in this imperfect but marvelous and somewhat bonoboësque meeting of two very different minds, coming together in an effort to communicate.

Fortunately, words, unlike bullets, can be “taken back.”

Thank you, Brittney Long. You are a bigger woman than most. You’re also a shining example of someone who seems to be breaking “the cycle” of abuse, religious hypocrisy and violence. That is a key part of the lesson we all need to learn from your family tragedy which, for better and worse, has become a “viral” symbol of the spiritual pain and sexual misunderstanding suffered by so many modern families.  

I really, sincerely wish the best for you, Brittney Long, for your own well-being, but also for the rest of us who need to see examples of hope to balance out all the violence.

Life, Death, Dogs & 4/20

After all this emotional talk about police brutality, domestic violence, guns, God and sex problems, our Love Train is almost in the station. We say RIP to our old friend Joel Eisenberg who we just received word passed away from COVID-19. Joel was one of those *nice* millionaires, a super-friendly, generous guy who did well in the “976” business and threw big fun parties. We last saw him for a very small party (10 people or so) on his yacht parked in Marina del Rey. Joel was in his 80s with health problems, but still, he was vaccinated, so it’s disturbing that he caught COVID and died within a week.

We are still not out of the Coronapocalyptic woods yet, Brothers and Sisters, so keep wearing those sexy masks!

Miming a “Bonobo Handshake” with Chico and “Survival of the Friendliest” authors Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods.

Speaking of “woods”—the good kind!—I was thrilled to interview Vanessa Woods and Dr. Brian Hare, co-authors of Survival of the Friendliest the other day…on our new 29^th Wedding Anniversary rug.

Yes, the symbol of 29^th Wedding Anniversaries is “furniture,” so we got a rug, a discount imitation Chinese/Persian Magic Carpet into adventure and, occasionally, paradise…

The book is about how friendliness—not aggression—pays off for bonobos, humans and dogs, so Chico co-hosts the interview.

It shouldn’t surprise me that the authors of a book called Survival of the Friendliest would be two of the friendliest people I’ve ever met, but Vanessa and Brian are truly amazing, brilliant and (in their own way) just as cute as Chico. Interview coming soon!

With Chico, Capt’n Max, Mariah, Harry Sapien, Ana & Harry’s Big Banana on Our NEW 29th Wedding Anniversary Magic Carpet. Photo: Unscene Abe.

Coming even sooner: another holiday!

Happy 4/20, fellow Sex Pots!  

To no one’s shock, it is Abe who remembers this solemn occasion when all true stoners must take a moment—4:20 on 4/20—to honor the wonders of cannabis, with a toke, smoke, vape, bong hit or chillum.  Actually, that would be two moments: 4:20 AM and PM.

Boom Shiva Shambalai Boom!  

That’s what the hashish-loving, Shiva-worshiping yogis that I met in India said in prayer with their first and only toke of the morning, every morning.

Amen and Awomen.

Now having fully decriminalized marijuana in 17 states, the increasing normalization of pot is something America can be proud of.

At least, cannabis is not an endangered species.

And Lord and Lady knows, we need weed to chill out in the midst of this weirdly alienating pandemic, surrounded by mass shootings committed by crazy ammosexuals for various Gods and grievances, with a nervous killer cop gearing up to stop you and totally tank your high (at least!).

© April 17. 2021  Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.