Length 01:43:05 Date: Feb. 8th, 2020

by Dr. Susan Block.

Valentine’s Day is coming—in every sense of the word.

Pre-Show Group Selfie with Sunshine McWane, Lucky Starr, Rita Daniels, Barbie Burd.

Are you ready? Are you ever really ready?

Ah V-Day, the High Holiday of Love, fraught with mixed emotions for many (me too); it may be especially tough to navigate in this politically divisive, sexually suspect, hyper-commercialized, economically unfair, virus-infected, social media-drenched, Me-Too-cautious, dramatically climate-changing and emotionally exhausting moment in human history.

Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, these are challenging times for love of all kinds.

Take the Valentine Challenge on DrSuzy.Tv! Photo: Eric Glowski

But here at the little Love Church of The Bonobo Way in Bonoboville, we accept the “Valentine Challenge,” and we’ve got some great guests on this exciting V-Day Foreplay show to help us take it on.

Rush the Slut-Shaming Racist honored by the Orange Slut-Shaming Racist

But first, a few “little items”…

Does Don Cheetolini know what Mother Nancy’s doing behind his back?

Indeed, that’s what racist sexist tRumpist Medal of Freedom plunderer Rush Limbaugh tried to slut-shame me as: a “little item.”

I realize Rush has stage 4 lung cancer, and I feel sorry for him for that; I wouldn’t wish cancer on anybody, even Rush. Seriously, I’d normally leave the poor bastard alone as the Grim Reaper (not Mitch McConnell; the other one) comes calling.

However, the Trumpus wouldn’t let that be; he had to push it over the top of decency and credulity (as usual) during his so-called  State of the Union which was so “tear-able,” that his great love, his YUGE Valentine mommy-fetish object, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, dramatically tore up.

Frankly, I wish she’d torn up that truly obscene 2020 military budget instead. Still, the drama was entertaining after such a long stretch of hokum, bunkum and tedium. Even though Team tRump retaliated by making a video (now showing on Facebook and Twitter, both of which refuse to remove it or identify it as misleading) that makes it appear that she’s tearing it up—not at the end of the speech when she did—but when Charles McGee, one of the last surviving Tuskegee Airmen (the first group of African-American World War II fighter pilots) and others were being honored.

Kicking off Black History Month with that Judas kiss and then a kick in the face to African Americans, Il Douche bestowed the highest civilian honor on the King of Creeps, the godfather of modern bigotry, Rush Limbaugh.

Rush Limbaugh gets the medal he deserves: The King of Creeps award

Truly one of America’s most prominent racist sexist bigots, Rush planted his seeds of hate when young Trumply was nothing but a fame-chasing, philanderous, “short-fingered vulgarian” sucking on the teat of daddy’s trust fund.

Quite possibly, without Rush Limpballs’ poisonous seed nurturing sexism and racism—which, though still rampant, seemed like they were on the way out—in modern America, there would be no President tRump.

Schooling My Peeps on the King of Creeps. Photo: Jux Lii

Maybe he actually appreciates this or more likely, he just wanted to stick it to the Dems and toss that red meat to his base, but the Tangerine Tyrant gave the highest civilian honor to the King of Creeps, also the Sultan of Slut-Shaming, who posed the question:

“What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke—who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex—what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute.”

First, her name is Sandra—not Susan—Fluke. Second, she was speaking about the need for government subsidized reproductive health services. That, to Rush, makes her a prostitute.

Nothing wrong with being a prostitute (though “sex worker” is the preferred term) or a slut. I myself am a slut, and I am not ashamed!

But don’t try to slut-shame me and don’t try to prostitute-shame me to support your sexist, racist agenda.

I admit, it’s personal with me and Rush. Yes, the King of Creeps tried to slut-shame me and my Post-Trump Sex Disorder theory as a “little item” to sell his creepy little newsletter, BUT I reBUTTed his Butt GOOD, so good he took down that whole show, though I recorded it, and you can hear it in all its filthy glory on my hilarious, frightening and spankalicious Rush Limbaugh ReBUTTal video.

I’d rather BE a “little item” than HAVE a little item. Photo: Eric Glowski

In a similar vein, Trumpty Dumpty’s equally dumpy golf buddy also tried to slut-shame brilliant leftwing commentator Krystal Ball with an outrageous lie, saying there were naked photos of her at age “14 or 15” posted on social media until she forced him to admit that he made up the entire story from his lascivious imagination.

What a fetid piece of Midwestern-fried horse shit.

Happy World Bonobo Day

Well, out of the stables and back to the studio… and Valentine’s Day!

Photos: Jux Lii

Did you know that Valentine’s Day is also World Bonobo Day?

Yes indeed, whether you’re married, single, in a couple, a throuple, a commune or a convent, you can honor LOVE with the world’s greatest lovers and officially #GoBonobos on Valentine’s Day which is now World Bonobo Day!

If any nonhuman animal embodies the spirit of Valentine love and lust, it’s the bonobo!

Get inspired to release your “inner bonobo” to live in more loving, ecosexual ways from the source: the amazing LOVE APES of the rainforest, where every day is Valentine’s Day, and nights are filled with love.

Our closest genetic cousins, bonobos are also the “peace apes.” Never seen killing each other in the wild or captivity, bonobos show us that peace through pleasure is possible for apes like us.

Here in our bonobo-inspired human Church of the Bonobo Way in the village of Bonoboville, we’re delighted to support “World Bonobo Day,” conceived by The Bonobo Project and recognized in House Resolution 738 by Congressman Scott Peters (D- San Diego): “Resolved that the United States House of Representatives, encourages everyone to participate in activities that help to educate the public about the need to protect these uniquely matriarchal, loving and endangered great apes.”

Give The Bonobo Way this Valentine’s Day to friends, lovers and your friends’ lovers. Spread the Bonobo Word of Love from the Love Apes.  Get what you want while giving!

The Bonobo Way is the ultimate antidote to the fear and hatred that is driving us apart. Give it to someone you love, even if that someone is you.

Lupercalia is the Original Horned Horny V-Day

Besides its new role as World Bonobo Day, the Valentine’s Day we all know and mostly pretend to love is, essentially, fake news concocted by the early Catholic Church, enhanced by Hallmark and abetted by Amazon, effectively sanitizing and commercializing the original primal holiday of the heart and hormones; that is, the Original Valentine’s Day, Lupercalia.

Getting Whipped Up for Lupercalia with Goddess Phoenix’s Sparkle Whip against Lucky Starr’s Heart-Shaped Ass. Photo: Unscene Abe

Floggers not flowers! And so much more.

We’ll celebrate Lupercalia the Saturday after V-Day, or you can learn all about it on My Lupercalia video.

But I’m so horny for Lupercalia that I’m already sprouting my Pan horns.

And we do a bit of flogging (and spanking), just to get in gear for that heart-shaped Lupercalian rear.

Speaking of flogging, I’ve been invited by DomCon Headmistress Cyan to be a Mistress of Ceremonies for DomCon 2020.

All my DomCon experiences have been great opportunities to share The Bonobo Way: FemDoms of the Wild, not to mention a lot of fabulous, floggerific fun, but this just might be the Best DomCon Evah!

With more flogging!

Trumpus Revenge Tour

Our Presidunce certainly needs to be flogged like the hog he is, and not just in a fun Lupercalian way, but flogged—hard—right out of our White House before he completely transforms it into a oligarchic criminal operation soley for the benefit of himself and maybe Ivanka when she sits on his lap.

Revving up to FLOG the MF. Photo: Jux Lii

Besides licking Rush’s Limpballs, the Trumpus is taking a boorish and brutish victory lap (or 12), bragging about being acquitted in the Senate.

Oh, big deal, Il Douche.

There can be no acquittal without a trial, and no trial without witnesses, documents and evidence. Your turtle-necked toady Midnight Mitch McConnell made sure there was none of that in your so-called trial, lest some truths of your flagrant criminality might be proven even more unequivocally than they already have been.

Speaking of witnesses, they had a few in the House, and thus the exacting of vengeance has begun.

Did you know that Mr. Presidunce of Pettyiness not only fired Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman for ratting out (Happy Year of the Rat) his ridiculously corrupt criminal Ukrainian phone call, but that he also fired Vindman’s twin brother Yevgeny Vindman?

The Vindman Brothers are kicked out of Trumpland.

And no, even though the Presidunce is a dunce, it’s not because he couldn’t tell them apart.

It’s because this is the way of tinpot dictators, drug lords and mafia dons, like our Don. They not only punish you; they punish your family members. Come to think of it, that’s how the Trumpus reacted when he heard the CIA waited for a guy to step away from his family before drone-striking him, saying “Why did you wait?” echoing his previous words, “We’re fighting a very politically correct war. When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families.”

Sadistic bloodthirsty motherfucker much?

Floggimg the Petty Presidunce, gagged on Sunshine’s Valentine-Red Dick Balloon. Photo: Jux Lii

Well, we did “Impeach the MotherFucker.” We didn’t throw his orange ass out… yet, but as Mother Nancy says, “he’ll be impeached forever.”

Here’s a mind-blowing stat: the 48 Senators who voted to convict Trump (47 Democrats and one Republican Profile in Courage; thank you Mitt Romney) represent 18 million more Americans than 52 Republicans (whom we should now call Trumpublicans) who voted to acquit.

And there you have it. Trumpublicans just made their Man a King who can do no wrong, according to Alan Douchewitz, as long as he keeps his underwear on.

Photos 1-2: Jux Lii.  Photo 3: Eric Glowski

And yes, Brothers and Sisters, this day will live in infamy—if humanity lasts that long, which is doubtful, considering Antarctica is now 65 degrees in the shade—as the day our democracy gave way to kakistocracy—or you could call it idiocracy, Sunshine’s fave science fiction comedy that many are now calling a documentary.

RIP Betsy

Before I introduce our fabulous guests, I also want to say RIP Betsy, our beloved Bonboville doggie.

Someone’s in the kitchen with Betsy….

Actually, she was Ana and Miguel’s dog, though everyone in Bonoboville loved Betsy.

After a long battle with cancer (Rush isn’t the only one to suffer the pain of cancer), Betsy passed away last week, but she lived a good long dog’s life among humans who cared about her.

Betsy Collared in Flowers among the dolphins. Photo: Unscene Abe

Though she had sex (late in life), she was child-free.

I’ll never forget that day Betsy had sex for the first time with Elliot, a scruffy little pup who knew a fine MILF bitch when he sniffed her.

Quite the cougar, our Betsy loved sex with a younger male.

Miguel holds Betsy and Ana holds Elliot as I attempt to administer Doggie Hypnosis while snapping pix of their Big Sex Moment.

What a look of post-orgasmic ecstasy exuding from her face, as Miguel held onto her so she wouldn’t drag Elliot across the floor from her vajajay (yes, they were fused, doggy-style), and Ana held onto dazed little Elliot, she gazed into my lens.

What a porn star… though we nicknamed Elliot “Ron Jeremy” for being able to handle her.

Betsy sits up like a human to celebrate Miguel and Ana’s birthdays. Photo: Sunshine McWane

Betsy was a good guard dog; at least, she barked like one.

She protected Bonoboville from rats, alley cats, strangers and flying saucers, though most often she’d bark for no reason that we could understand.

The Art of the Deal: Betsy gives me a high-five, and I give her a salmon treat. Photo: Unscene Abe

But she could give us High-5 like a pro, she would always submit to a tummy scratch, and she was the most photogenic doggie you could want with those big soft, brown, beagle eyes.

Rest in peace, Betsy.

Betsy wins a top spot on the Lakers. Photo: Harry Sapien

We will never forget you.

We will always love you.

You helped us to release our inner doggie with you, as you released your inner human with us.

Even the tRump Turkey wants to play with Betsy. Photo: Bianca

May you enjoy a Doggie Heaven with an endless supply of salmon snacks, tummy rubs, just the right amount of childfree sex and lots of flying saucers to bark at….

Betsy among the Bonobos

Lucky in Red

After my Betsy eulogy, I give all of our guests heart-shaped Valentines filled with chocolate.

VALENTINES by SUNSHINE

Not to be outdone by mere packaged chocolate, our artist-in-residence, Sunshine creates and distributes Valentines for everyone, as well as balloon creatures and body parts.  Sunshine gives them all handmade cards.

Lucky listening raptly. Photo: Jux Lii

I’m delighted to welcome back fun-fun-fun Filipina sexpot and piping hot porn star Lucky Starr, looking like everybody’s sweetheart in Valentine red.

Lucky hasn’t been on DrSuzy.Tv since we were in Downtown LA over seven years ago, and she is cute, spunky and sexy as ever.

No simple-minded Chatty Kathy, Lucky’s as good a listener as she is a talker. She’d make a great therapist.

She’s also the author of a brand new book, “I Am Lucky,” the true story of her journey into the adult film industry, containing online spicy journal entries and poignant personal recollections.

Accomplished woman that she is, she won a 2013 SUZY award for “Hottest Post-Show Sex,” honoring her steamy encounter with fellow porn star (then her boyfriend) Kevin Wang.

Having also won an Xbiz award for another couples scene, I designate Lucky as our Couples Sexpert to help couples have great, orgasmic, pornstar-hot Valentine’s Day (and night) sex with our Valentines.

Panel of Sexperts: Lucky Starr, Rita Daniels, Barbie Burd. Photo: Eric Glowski

Her first tip? Hate sex is great sex.

In other words, just because you’re mad at each other, don’t forgo the sex; it could be explosive and make you forget what made you so angry.

This only works if the fighting isn’t violent or over something truly serious, but it is actually very bonoboesque. Bonobos often engage in “make-up sex” to end fights as a form of erotic conflict resolution that serves the added benefit of keeping them from killing each other.

Photos 1-3: Erik Glowski.  Photos 3-4: Jux Lii

Midway through the show, we talk about how the coronavirus kicked off an ominous Chinese Year of the Rat. We give a heartfelt thank you and farewell to Wuhan whistleblower Dr. Li Wenliang who was punished by the Chinese government for trying to warn his colleagues about the deadly new disease, and recently passed away, having contracted it himself from one of the patients he was treating.

Nevertheless, the irrepressible Lucky can’t resist a chance to clown around a bit, putting on the surgical mask I have on my desk.

Masks can be great fun, theatrical and very erotic.  But it’s horrific when you have to wear them to save your life. Even more disturbing, most of them don’t effectively prevent the wearer from getting the coronavirus, if exposed, or even the flu (which thus far has sickened and killed a lot more people, albeit at a slower pace), though masks do help prevent the infected wearer from spreading the infection.

Lucky and Rita sing their Valentine Hearts out. Photo: Jux Lii

A frequent feature of Porn Star Karaoke, Lucky shows off her beautiful voice, singing us a few bars of “My Funny Valentine” after she tells the torrid tale of a Valentine’s Day gone bad.

Pink Lady Rita

Not to be outdone in the porn-star musical chops department, Rita Daniels, a virgin to DrSuzy.Tv (though not much else), warbles a sweet rendition of early 1960’s sex-positive feminist hit, “These Boots Are Made for Walking,”  that would make Nancy Sinatra kick up her heels.

Rita Daniels in tha House. Photo: Jux Lii

Whereupon Rita kicks up her shiny, Valentine pink, stiletto heels on her over-the-top, over-the-knee boots, which Sunshine and Lucky kiss and lick appreciatively.

These Boots Are Made for Lickin’…. Photo: Jux Lii.

A MiLF, a GiLF, a Cougar, a porn star, a centerfold, cover girl and radio host, Rita has many Valentines who are her passionate fans.

She’s also wearing a teeny bikini that barely covers her big 34FF boobs and vulva, a pink fishnet body suit over that and a pink feather boa.

Photos 1, 4: Eric Glowski.  Photos 2-3: Jux Lii

When I ask everyone if they prefer chocolate or sex, they talk about how they like to combine them with a little, loving splosh.

This gives me a chance to plug Splosh ‘n’ Art. Whether you prefer Valentine chocolates or Valentine sex, you can always combine them for some sexy sploshing.

All that splosh talk makes Rita hungry.

She demonstrates her cunnilingus talents on Sunshine’s balloon vulva.

Surgical Balloonish Cunnilingus. Photo: Jux Lii

Mmmm… yum! Pink bubblegum.

Barbie in Black

Our comedienne for this show is Barbie Burd, aka Barbie Dahl, dressed for a Hollywood wrap party in basic black.

Barbie Burd on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo: Jux Lii

Barbie is also a virgin to DrSuzy.Tv, but she was almost a 40 year old real virgin, having *lost* her virginity at the ripe age of 38.

I ask Barbie if she has any tips on how to survive Vday as a virgin. It’s not so farfetched; after all, St. Valentine himself (if he even existed) was supposedly a virgin.

She explains that she stayed a virgin so long partly because she got serious about her mother’s religion of Jehovah’s Witness (Dad was an atheist), so she never had an interest in sex at all, let alone Valentine sex.

I don’t agree that one (religiosity or virginity) necessarily leads to the other (lack of interest in sex). As a sex therapist, I know many virgins and religious folks who are extremely horny—sometimes more so than the rest of us!

Photos 1-3: Eric Glowski.  Photo 4: Jux Lii

But different people have different experiences, and I certainly don’t deny Barbie hers.

I do agree that the antidepressants she takes often depress the sex drive, along with the drive to harm yourself. Decongestants do essentially the same thing (in a different way); not only do they dry up your sinuses, they dry up your genitalia.  Just remember that, next time you try to climax on Benedryl. It can be done, but it takes a while!

Barbie sets up a joke by telling us about her “intersex” lover, and when she asks if I know what that means, I take her seriously enough to say a real-life hermaphrodite with genitalia and other features of both genders.

She offers the popular trope that an intersex lover is the “best of both worlds.” Though that wasn’t her experience, she deadpans, “He was just a dick and a pussy,” stimulating the Little LoveChurch of the Bonobo Way into a giggle eruption.

We love to laugh… with Lucky Starr, Rita Daniels, Sunshine McWane, Barbie Burd & Ana. Photo: Jux Lii

Well, Barbie may be sexually inexperienced (though she’s in the process of making up for lost time), but laughter is a mental orgasm, and she certainly makes us laugh.

Sid in India Wants to Get Gangbanged

Before we get into the “action,” we take a call from Sid in India, a happily married man (whose marriage was arranged) who is able to share a lot of his fantasies of submission with his wife, and they do enjoy a great sex life.

Let’s talk with Sid in India about gangbangs. Video Still: Gideon

However, he has one fantasy he’s afraid to share with her… yet.

So he shares it with us!

He dreams of being the “victim” of a forced gangbang; a group of “strong” men essentially kidnapping him, dragging him into an alley and raping him.

A gangbang can be consensual, and that’s the only kind of gangbang anyone should engage in, in real life.

But fantasies go well beyond the real, and Sid’s gonna dream what Sid’s gonna dream…

All the way from India, Sid comes to the Source of Gangbang Fantasy advice. Video Still: Gideon

Listen above or watch below to hear more about Sid’s taboo desires and our tips for how to handle them.

Of course, there isn’t time on the show to give analysis of his fantasy justice, nor is it a classic therapeutic environment to help him share it with his wife, so Sid agrees to call the Institute for a private session.

We do alleviate one worry Sid has: when a happily married man who has regular great sex with his wife fantasizes being gangbanged by a bunch of guys, it doesn’t necessarily, or even probably, “mean” that he’s “gay.”

It may mean a bunch of other things: that’s he’s pansexual (like many humans and bonobos), into ultimate power plays or perhaps exhibitionism (he did like to masturbate on his balcony when he was young) mixed with humiliation. But we’ll explore all of that in Sid’s private session.

Lupercalian Warm-Up

We talk a bit about the girlfriend fun of “Galentine’s Day,” a Parks and Recreation-spawned holiday that’s blossomed into an official Girls Night Out or Day Off now celebrated the day before Valentine’s Day.

Sunshine reads a viewer’s request for the Heinrichs Maneuver. Video Still: Gideon

Then we warm up some of our heart-shaped asses for Lupercalia with a little spanking and flogging love.

Starting us off with a good whack is a comment on the Facebook Live feed.

Laura Heinrichs requests that Sunshine  “give the Girl in pink Overknees a OTK spanking!”

Whereupon the “girl in pink” OTK boots gets up for her first OTK spanking of the Lupercalian season.

34FF Chi Chi Calisthenics. Photo: Jux Lii

Call it the “Heinrichs Maneuver.”

First, at my request, Rita does a partial striptease, fully revealing those 34FFs which are threatening to break loose all through the show anyway.

A moment of Zen Lupercalian Mayhem. Photo: Jux Lii

She does an impressive little “bosom ballet” as our old friend Annie Sprinkle calls it.

Or you could call Rita’s performance more of a set of “Chi-Chi Calisthenics.”

Photo 1: Jux Lii.  Photos 2-4: Eric Glowski.

For this, she earns many Bonoboville dollars, courtesy of Sunshine (thinking about her Peepshow days).

Then she bends over for Sunshine’s hand-spanking.

Lupercalian Spank-O-Rama! Photo: Jux Lii

No, it’s not exactly “OTK” (over-the-knee).

It’s more: OYK (on-your-knees).

Sunshine isn’t as accustomed to giving the spankings as receiving them, but she does a bang-up job.

Meanwhile, Lucky doffs her top and dons Sunshine’s bellydance skirt/scarf to keep that V-Day red theme going.

Little Lucky picks up our biggest latex flogger to flog Rita’s heart-shaped ass into Lupercalia.

Meanwhile, Barbie sticks to the couch.

Photos 1, 3-5: Jux Lii.  Photo 3: Eric Glowski

Though she doesn’t physically partake, Barbie gets a good laugh out of the whole spanking scene, which is the least we could do for her, considering her intersex joke tickles our funny bone

Ride the Bunny

The SUZY award-winning Motorbunny gets an intense workout in our Valentine’s Day Foreplay, as well it should.

Boobs to the right of me, knockers to the left–here I am, stuck in the middle with you… and the Motorbunny (with apologies to Stealer’s Wheel)! Photo: Jux Lii

Okay, it’s not the Oscars, which I’m watching with 10% attention as I write this. Speaking of which, I’m glad the Obama project, American Factory, got “Best Doc,” even though that was expected, loving the director—whose shaved head shows she’s also fighting cancer, the enemy that attacks Left and Right alike, without discrimination—winding up her speech with “Workers of the World Unite!”  Also delighted at Brad Pitt’s dig at the Trumpublicans when he said “I’ve only got 45 seconds, but that’s 45 seconds more than the Senate gave John Bolton this week.”

I’m sure both speeches are making the Hollywood-hating (but not-so-secretly envying) Trumplethinskin’s thin skin turn from bad-fake-tan(gerine) to flaming nuclear apricot.  You know he’s seeing them fly by on Twitter, figuring out how and when to exact his revenge.

So much Orange Vengeance to wreak! Well, his fans—who will never get an Oscar, an Emmy, a Suzy or even a Glenny—slurp it up like sweet peach sherbet.

Then there’s Parasite, which I have yet to see (the only Oscar winning film I’ve seen is Joker, which I write a little about in my Hustler review; of course, the stripper movie didn’t even get nominated, much to J-lo’s fans’ chagrin), but it’s on my list when my myopic eyes are in the mood to squint at subtitles.  From the little I’ve seen, it’s a humorous but sensitive study of the very rich versus the very poor in the faraway land of South Korea, that is really closer to us than we might think, especially in terms of widening class stratifications, showing the toll our oligarchical neoliberal world is taking on our humanity—whether we are rich or poor, but especially if we are poor.

With that in mind, I just want to say:

BERNIE WON IOWA!

Though of course, the Democratic Machine—which includes an inept app funded by supporters of the candidate who declared himself the “winner” even before the votes were counted—would not allow that to actually be announced, celebrated or recognized.

I imagine the plan is to make all the candidates look untenable; then Mike Bloomberg and his billions will sweep in for the candidacy and make Pete Buttplug his Mike Pence. How very parasitic of them that would be. They depend on the support of the progressive working class, but they spit on the candidate of that class.

Still, better the Parasite than the Orange Death and better the Buttplug than the Hyper-Christian Trumpus Rumpus licker, better those two “little items” (both are a trim 5’8”) than a couple of big fat fascists, so I’ma still vote Blue no matter who, but I’m pretty blue about it.

Lucky the Motorbunny Starr. Photo: Jux Lii

And what better way to heal the blues than a red and pink Valentine Motorbunny orgasm!

How about two of them?

Actually, before I can even suggest it, proactive Lucky eyes the Motorbunny with desire.

Everybody pitches in to make Lucky’s Motorbunny orgasm awesome. Photo: Jux Lii

Then she mounts it with panache.

A rip-roaring climax ensues.

Actually, the Motorbunny is lucky to have Lucky mount their d’vice, as she makes you feel you really need one for your Valentine…. or yourself.

Photos: Eric Glowski

If you can afford the $900 price tag.

Otherwise, just come on the show (literally) and ride it.

We try to be socialist about orgasms.

But it’s more the Denmark/FDR kind that Bernie talks about than the Soviet Union/Cuba type of socialism that Chris Matthews is afraid will have him executed in Central Park if Bernie is *allowed* to be President.

In tune with that kind of socialistic equal opportunity, I ask Barbie if she’d like to take a ride, but she politely declines… for now.

That makes Rita the next to mount the mean machine.

Photos: Jux Lii

She takes a bit longer than Lucky, which is fun to watch.

Oh, those 34FFs do a dance of their own, as her dragonlady fingernails play with her vulva.

Taking her pleasure into her own hands, as the Motorbunny buzzes along, she gets herself to where she needs to go.

Rita’s climax breaks softly but intensely. Photo: Jux Lii

She doesn’t come as loudly as Lucky.

But when she needs to stop, and I ask if she came, she vigorously nods.

Food Porn Sushi Mandala. Photo: Author

Houston, we have orgasm!

Then it’s time to wind up the show and scarf down some sushi.

Valentine Dinner Foreplay. Photo: Selfie

Just like the Oscar after-parties, but homier.

And more socialist, while still being just a bit capitalist.

Hey, something’s got to pay for the sushi, even if it’s relatively inexpensive.

Photo 1: Eric Glowski.  Photo 2: Rita Fan.  Photo 3: Selfie.  Photo 4: Jux Lii

Unfortunately, we’re too tired to organize eating it off a naked person, like we did a few years ago.

Then it’s time for my bonobo climax with MY Valentine, and off we drift into the Land of Love together.

My Valentine & Me get ready for beddy! Photo: Selfie

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Galentine’s Day!

Happy World Bonobo Day!

Happy Lupercalia!

May the Horny Horned Force of Pan and the Bonobo Power of the Heart be ever with you.

Free the Valentine Nipple! Photo: Jux Lii

© Feb. 9, 2020 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.