Andre’s Confessions

STRIPPER MALE (1)

Length 01:32:05 Date: Aug 17th, 2019

by Dr. Susan Block.

Post-Trump Sex Disorder is raging across America.

PTSD may be raging across America, but I'm goofing around before the show with Sunshine McWane and Andre Mulligan. Photo: Selfie

PTSD may be raging across America, but I’m going bonobos before the show with Sunshine McWane and Andre Mulligan. Photo: Selfie

Most of this show is devoted to our featured guest, Andre Mulligan, a comedian who used to be a stripper, and the riveting story of his life that pours forth like a series of “true confessions.” But no, he insists, he most certainly does not have Post-Trump Sex Disorder. Good for Andre.

Pre-Show in the Womb Room. Photo: Harry Sapien

Pre-Show in the Womb Room with Sunshine McWane & Andre Mullipan. Photo: Harry Sapien

But a lot of other people do, so I have a good rant about how tRump and his swamp-creature cronies are continuing to ruin sex in all its many splendored glories.

Ranting about tRump, Epstein, Manafort, Mass Murder & War. Photo: Harry Sapien

Ranting about tRump, Epstein, Manafort, Mass Murder & War. Photo: Harry Sapien

Yes, the Trumpenstein ruins a lot of things besides sex that many pundits, comics and influencers talk about ad infinitum.  But I’m a sexologist; so I see, with a sexologist’s “dirty” mind, how the serial Pussygrabber-in-Chief, his rapey regime, his kakistocratic cohorts and fatuous followers are ruining sex for many individuals, couples and whole groups of human beings, not to mention other animals and plants (yes, pollution ruins sex for plants).

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This includes countless sex workers and their clients via SESTA/FOSTA, Trans people whose rights are being obliterated, immigrants and their spouses being torn apart by ICE, and all kinds of couples who neglect their sex lives because one or both are addicted to the fake news breathlessly reporting on the Trumposity’s latest obscenities. And it’s not just Agent Orange’s policies and behavior; it’s everyone in his orbit. Coercive cuckold Paul Manafort ruins sex for consensual cuckolds. Obnoxious swinger Roger Stone ruins sex for loving, decent swingers. Lying, crying Brett “Devil’s Triangle” Kavanaugh ruins sex for women who like to drink a couple of beers without getting grabbed and groped. Ivanka ruins sex for Barbie Doll Blondes whose Heart Belongs to Daddy (but not to her degree). Don Jr. and Eric just ruin sex, period—blech!

Spanking Presidunce tRump's balls for spreading the Post-Trump Sex Disorder virus. Photo: Harry Sapien

Spanking Presidunce tRump’s balls for spreading the Post-Trump Sex Disorder virus. Photo: Harry Sapien

And then there’s Jeffrey Epstein, dead, we presume, but still ruining sex for all kinds of decent people who just enjoy a nice rub-down.  Now you can’t say you like to get massages without people suspecting you’re a creep, because creepy Epstein got massages.  Whether it’s sexual or sensual, Swedish or shiatsu, personal or professional, therapeutic or just for the feel of it, massage is a form of touch that we all really need. But thanks to Trumpizzi’s old wingman, Epstein, a lot of folks who could really use a good rub-down won’t get one, lest someone presume they’re a pedophile.

PHOTOS 1 & 4: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 2, 3, 5: HARRY SAPIEN

Epstein has even made sex toys suspect! So many pundits have made such a fuss about him having sex toys in his bathroom. Don’t these pundits have sex toys in their bathrooms?

The pool in one of Epstein's smaller homes in Palm Beach.

The pool in one of Epstein’s smaller homes in Palm Beach.

Hopefully, swimming won’t become suspicious because Epstein had pool parties.

Keeping cool in the Bonoboville pool. Photo: Selfie

Keeping cool in the Bonoboville pool. Photo: Selfie

I love my cool Bonoboville pool, which is smaller than Epstein’s bathtub.

PHOTOS 1-2: SELFIES. PHOTOS 3-5: BIANCA

I am no fan of Epstein. Who is? Nobody, now. Apparently, he had sex with some underage gals, and that’s wrong, not to mention illegal. He was a bad dude but, to my knowledge, he didn’t murder anyone. In fact, Epstein may have been murdered (check out Attorney General William Barr’s Dad, who hired Epstein when he was headmaster of Dalton School and a science fiction writer of slavery fantasies, plus Barr’s Opus Dei connection). Yet Epstein is regarded by many as worse than a murderer. The El Paso and Dayton mass murderers and George W. Bush, who murdered millions in Iraq and Afghanistan, are not as despised than Epstein. Why? Because many people believe that bad sex is worse than murder.

Bad sex is bad, sometimes really bad. But worse than murder?

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This way of thinking is a kind of Post-Trump Sex Disorder. But it didn’t start with tRump and, though I hope his reign soon ends, it probably won’t end with tRump, either.

Puritans, Sex & Murder in America

In America, it started long ago, you could say, with the Pilgrims and Puritans who murdered the Native Americans who had been living in relative sexual freedom as hunter/gatherers for hundreds of years (at least) in the New England land in which these European invaders “settled.” Puritans also murdered each other (usually by hanging), often for perceived sexual improprieties, not to mention their slaves. Yes, long before the advent of the horrendous plantations of the American South, the Puritans of New England had African and Native American slaves.

Young Puritan Couple being taken to the Gallows.

Young Puritan Couple being taken to the Gallows.

Stifling good sex and glorifying terrible violence, Puritanism still rages in America. It’s been a Summer of Rage with shootings galore, including mass shootings (many of which are perpetrated by incels, whether or not they identify as such), people shooting cops and, as always, cops shooting people; as American military operations and occupations continue, as ICE deports and imprisons people of all ages in concentration camps, as children in Yemen are being mass-murdered with American weaponry. On the day we broadcast this show live, the “Proud Boys” and other white supremacist groups gathered in Portland, Oregon, with the loving support of the Proud-Boy-in-Chief, elevating and eroticizing violence with PRIDE.  As sex is being smeared, murder is eroticized everywhere in America.

PHOTOS: HARRY SAPIEN

But not here. Not in Bonoboville where we practice the Bonobo Way, inspired by the real bonobos, the Make Love Not War chimpanzees who swing through the trees, as well as with each other, and have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity. Bonobos show us the way to female empowerment, male well-being and peace through pleasure. If only we humans can learn from them… before it’s too late for all of us.

Ms. Dare Wouldn’t Dare!

Meanwhile we’ve got a show to do.

Pre-Show Poseurs. Photo: Harry Sapien

Pre-Show Poseurs. Photo: Harry Sapien

And we have a last-minute cancellation. One of our featured guests, porn performer Daphne Dare, doesn’t “dare” show up as scheduled, canceling just a few hours before showtime with a two-pronged excuse: 1) she thought the show broadcast on Sunday (even though Sunshine’s been telling her all week it’s Saturday) and 2) she’s “freaked out by Dr. Block.”  She doesn’t say why I “freak” her out; maybe she’s a Trumper, or maybe I’m just FREAKY!

Super Freak & Clown. Photo: Selfie

Super Freak & Clown. Photo: Selfie

It’s a known fact. I’m a Super Freak! I’m super freaky…

Andre Takeapic

However, Andre Mulligan, aka Andre Takeapic, is in the House and, in many ways, he’s a Super Freak like me. After all, he used to be a stripper and a sex worker. This also makes him, as he sees it, a kind of sex therapist.

Andre Mulligan. Photo: Harry Sapien

Andre Mulligan. Photo: Harry Sapien

That’s cool; I know a lot of sex workers who help their clients with their sexual problems more effectively than so-called “certified” sex therapists. But when Andre says he doesn’t “believe” in Post-Trump Sex Disorder—mainly because his sex life is awesome—I beg to differ. I understand that talking about the Trumpus and sex in the same sentence makes a lot of people (especially men) uncomfortable, and many vehemently deny the very existence of Post-Trump Sex Disorder, or they insist that anyone who has it must be a sexual weakling worthy of only scorn and derision.

Andre's Mother Confessor. Photo: Harry Sapien

Andre’s Mother Confessor. Photo: Harry Sapien

Andre doesn’t even have much pity for the loving couples whose sex life is ruined thanks to the Deporter-in-Chief deporting one of them. His solution: “They can just find another partner.”

Capt'n Max joins the convo. Photo: Harry Sapien

Capt’n Max joins the convo. Photo: Harry Sapien

I don’t think it’s quite so simple, especially when two people love each other.

In the Confession Booth with Andre. Photo: Harry Sapien

In the Confession Booth with Andre. Photo: Harry Sapien

Andre has a bit more sympathy for the sex workers whose sex lives, along with their finances and safety, have been beaten up and down by the tRump-signed SESTA/FOSTA Act that essentially equates consensual adult sex work with the sex trafficking of minors.

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I imagine Andre can identify because he used to be a sex worker, an escort for women only. Yes, women do sometimes pay for sexual services, and they’re not all old and rich. Andre tells us about a beautiful 22-year-old nurse who paid his full fee, a $500 down payment plus more for “extras.”  He said she knew what she wanted: her fantasies fulfilled, no strings attached. Nevertheless, most of his clients have been “cougars” or “sabertooth tigers” (a 60-plus cougar). Add that to your lexicon. As for me, I’m wearing leopard-print for the occasion.

PHOTOS 1-2, 4-5: HARRY SAPIEN.  PHOTO 3: BIANCA

Andre and Sunshine compare notes on being in both the stripper biz (Sunshine is/was a peepshow performer) and in comedy.

Star Trek or Star Wars? Photo: Bianca

Star Trek or Star Wars? Photo: Bianca

Later, I learn that last Saturday’s comedian guest, Robert Golden, had recommended Andre for the show. Unfortunately, I don’t thank him on the air because when he comments on Facebook Live that Andre “looks like a Star Trek extra” (maybe because of his red shirt with an insignia on the left), I ask Andre if he knows Robert, and his “no” is so deadpan that I believe him! Or could it be that Robert knows Andre, but Andre doesn’t know Robert? Well, better late than never: Thanks Robert!

DrSuzy-Tv Assistant Producer Betsy the Dog Waddles on set to sniff out the guest. Photo: Bianca

DrSuzy-Tv Assistant Producer Betsy the Dog Waddles on set to sniff out the guest. Photo: Bianca

And thanks Andre for confessing so much of your life story to me, your Mother Confessor.

Having inspected the guest, Betsy relaxes in the way of the camera people. Photo: Harry Sapien.

Having inspected the guest, Betsy relaxes in the way of the camera people. Photo: Harry Sapien.

Partly because Andre’s our only guest and, having just had back surgery, he can’t strip or dance for us (though after considerable cajoling, we do get him to take off his Star Trek shirt), this show turns into Andre’s “confessions.”

Checking out the back of Andre's head after he tells us about being shot. Photo: Harry Sapien

Checking out the back of Andre’s head after he tells us about being shot. Photo: Harry Sapien

I won’t go into the full litany here. You can listen above or watch the show free on DrSuzy.Tv.

Stripping the stripper. Photo: Harry Sapien

Stripping the stripper. Photo: Harry Sapien

 Highlights include: Setting his house on fire at the age of five; growing up with a “crack addict” mom (who kicked her habit and they have a great relationship now) and no dad; being molested by his uncle before the age of nine and nobody taking his complaints about it seriously; being shot in the back of the head at the age of 16, and the confessions go on.

Almost Free! Photo: Harry Sapien

Almost Free! Photo: Harry Sapien

 Stripping was really a lifesaver for Andre, whose stage name was (is?) Romeo. His self-esteem shot up along with his bank account. His son, now 18 and on his way to college, thought he was a wrestler, because of his physique and the flamboyant way he’d dress for work, though Andre eventually told him the truth.

In Solidarity with Andre, Sunshine & I also Free the Nipple. Photo: Bianca

In Solidarity with Andre (aka Romeo), Sunshine & I also Free the Nipple. Photo: Bianca

 Regaling us with tales of women reaching into his banana-hammock at performances and pulling out his cock to give him a blowjob to being the meat in a Taco Tuesday sandwich for a pair of plus-sized ladies who really poured on the hot sauce, savoring the salsa—and his skin—Andre reminds us that, under certain circumstances, women can be just as lusty as men. Maybe even more so and with less shame in the age of #MeToo.

Almost everybody has nipples, but their size, shape and level of sensitivity vary widely. Photo: Harry Sapien.

Almost everybody has nipples, but their size, shape and level of sensitivity vary widely. Photo: Harry Sapien.

 Andre’s sex record isn’t quite that of Wilt Chamberlain (who claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women in his lifetime), but he says he got it on with over a thousand so far, once having sex with 24 different women in one week. Good for him (he says he always practiced safe sex); and no wonder he has little sympathy for people suffering from Post-Trump Sex Disorder, or a lack of sex for any reason.

Sex heals a billion times more than it kills. Photo: Selfie

Sex heals a billion times more than it kills. Photo: Selfie

Though he does agree with me that sex work should be decriminalized, destigmatized and (to some degree) government-subsidized. That would go a long way toward handling the burgeoning incel problem in America, along with the mass-murder problem.

STRIP AD INCEL

Andre says he doesn’t care about mass-murder, at least not like he cares about murder and other crime within the Black community. We both agree that there are too many people in America’s prisons. The Prison Industrial Complex (much of it privatized, including the incarcerated migrant children) has become as big and bad a juggernaut of violence as the Military Industrial Complex. Plus it’s the modern version of slavery.

Let's Decriminalize, Destigmatize and Subsidize Sex Work! It's the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. Photo: Bianca

Let’s Decriminalize, Destigmatize and Subsidize Sex Work! It’s the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. Photo: Bianca

Another thing I like about Andre is the way he calls me “Ma’am,” a vestige from his Louisville upbringing that’s heartwarming, polite, kind of funny and kind of sexy.

Erotic Hypnosis is NOT Drugging Someone

Mid-show, Donald asks us on Facebook Live if it would be “okay to use hypnosis to spice things up in the bedroom.”

"Secrets" of Erotic Hypnosis. Photo: Harry Sapien

“Secrets” of Erotic Hypnosis. Photo: Harry Sapien

Before I can respond, Andre blurts out something to the effect of “Oh no, that sounds like Bill Cosby! You’re going to jail.”

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Understandably, this alarms poor Donald who explains that his girlfriend is interested in hypnosis, and I then have time to explain how effective, erotic and beautiful it can be. Bill Cosby didn’t hypnotize women; he drugged them. There’s a huge difference. When you’re slipped a mickey—or a Quaalude— you have no control and can’t possibly consent. Hypnosis, despite the old wives’ tales about it, requires consent, or it doesn’t work. Nightclub hypnotists are good at picking out the people in the audience who really want to surrender.

erotic_hypnosis

I’m pretty much an expert in erotic hypnosis (watch me talk about erotic hypnosis and hands-free orgasms on The Doctors), and I can’t hypnotize anyone who doesn’t really want to be hypnotized. But if you consent and surrender to my power, I certainly can make you feel like you’ve been drugged in the sweetest, most delightful way.

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Both Andre and Sunshine start out as erotic hypnosis skeptics, but as I explain the process and the benefits, as well as give them just a tiny taste of how it works, they literally, albeit temporarily, fall under my “spell.”

You are getting sleepy.... Photo: Harry Sapien

You are getting sleepy…. Photo: Harry Sapien

Hopefully, Donald is less alarmed that he’ll be “going to jail” for trying erotic hypnosis with his girlfriend. I wonder if he’ll try it.

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We wind up with one last plea to stop the violence, appreciate our sexuality and follow the Bonobo Wayhttp://amzn.to/1zimlbP.

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Then it’s time to pop some champagne, and what kind do we have but Andre?

ANDRE After-Party. Photo: Harry Sapien

ANDRE After-Party. Photo: Harry Sapien

It may not be the finest, but it’s the most appropriate for this show.

I sign Andre's bottle of Andre! Photo: Unscene Abe

I sign Andre’s bottle of Andre! Photo: Unscene Abe

I even sign a bottle for our guest, upon his request.

Opposite of Proud Boys = Bonoboville Men: Andre, Rob, Abe, Max Photo: Harry Sapien

Opposite of Proud Boys = Bonoboville Men: Andre, Rob, Abe, Max   Photo: Harry Sapien

After the after-party, partly to prove we’re not suffering from Post-Trump Sex Disorder, partly because we’re still in love after 27 years of marriage, and partly because we’re just horny (and maybe slightly hypnotized by that little sample I deliver during the show), Capt’n Max and I fall into bed for mutual massages and a couple of nice orgasms.

Cheers to 27 More Years! Photo: Harry Sapien

Cheers to 27 More Years! Photo: Harry Sapien

No, they’re not hands-free.

Flying Dream Selfie

Flying Dream Selfie

But they do free us…

Pre-Orgasm Sparkle. Photo: selfie

Pre-Orgasm Sparkle. Photo: selfie

…just enough to drift into dreamland.

© August 17, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.


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