Splosh ‘n’ Art on DrSuzy.Tv
Length 1:50:00 Date: December 3, 2016
With a splosh of whipped cream and a squirt of raw cuisine, a pie in the butt and a tsunami of goo, this show takes the cake, the croissant and the marshmallow fluff, bringing the art, enjoyment and fetish of “sploshing” to bonoboësque heights of sweet messy delight. We also digress from the culinary mayhem into sapiosexual discourses on the meaning of food, sex and “messiness” in our civilized lives, as well as totally non-splosh-related dialogues about the fine art of photography, grooving to live music, some riveting spoken-word, politics-as-unusual on the edge of the Trumpocalypse and a call for all to “heal the homeless,” as the homeless help us with our own healing during this queasy, uneasy holiday season.
Don’t Play With Your Food!
As always, a full menu of sex, fun and wisdom gets stirred up in this show, but splosh is certainly the main course. Just in case you don’t know, sploshing is “erotic food play.” Sploshers spray, drip, rub, mush or cover each other in foods of different flavors and textures. It can involve BDSM—50 Shades of Splosh!—wherein sploshers dominate sploshees (with their consent, of course), play-forcing them to eat unappetizing combos like hot peppers and ice cream or raw eggs and granola, pouring buckets of spaghetti on their heads, sticking cucumbers (nature’s own dildos!) or even handfuls of Hershey’s kisses into their orifices, allowing sploshees to safely feel weird, tickled, humiliated and turned on.
In other cases, like much of this show, it might be more of a free-for-all Splosh Party, a food and sex orgy where people smear food all over each other and lick it off lingams or out of yonis (“eating while eating”). It could be dignified and elegant, like eating sushi off of a naked body, or sweetly silly like giving a candy-coated blowjob. A birthday sploshing party might involve sitting on your own birthday cake and letting your friends gobble it up off your butt.
Some of us create *splosh art,* enjoying the somewhat exhibitionistic performance of sploshing for our *audience* (inside the Womb Room or out in cyberspace). We document, videotape and photograph our explorations for the benefit of splosh art connoisseurs, voyeurs and fetishists and just everyday people that go “Wow! I wish I could do that,” or (just as compelling), “Yuch! I’d never do that!” Indeed, one person’s idea of “erotic” is another’s idea of “disgusting.” The “Yuch Factor” is an important aspect of sploshing, even for those of us who love it. Yes indeed, sometimes that which grosses us out also arouses us… in the right context, of course.
Splosh psychology all goes back to Mom, or maybe Dad or whatever authority figure almost undoubtedly reprimanded you, as soon as you were old enough to eat:
“Don’t play with your food!”
I’m sure you did it anyway. Babies and toddlers love to play with food, often even more than eating it. But it does make a mess which someone (other than you) has to clean up, so parents teach you not to play with your food, every day at breakfast and every evening at the dinner table. You learn that if you continue to play with your food and make messes, you will never be invited to dine at the distinguished table of adulthood. Thus you are trained to use forks, spoons, plates and napkins for the good of both your long-suffering parents and human civilization, and so you learn to repress this basic desire to play with your food. Playing with food, one of the simplest, most basic aspects of our animal nature, becomes intensely taboo.
PHOTO 1: RICK MENDOZA. PHOTO 2: L’EROTIQUE. PHOTO 3: ZANE BONO
That’s what makes SPLOSH so deliciously transgressive. So naughty. And so nice. You are not supposed to play with your food. But you do when you splosh, and it’s awesome.
Wizard of WIZNU
Before we whip up my Womb Room into a chaotic erotic food frenzy, we chat with some of our exciting and talented special guests.
Call it an appetizer. First up on my broadcast bed is master photographer and and WIZNU Studio + Gallery director Michael Wisnieux, last seen on DrSuzy.Tv with the inspirational bonoboësque peace collective Tamera (shout-out to Sabine Lichtenfeld and Benjamin von Mendelsohnn, as well as Ecosexuality Co-Editor Dr. SerenaGaia). Michael has been mounting some great art shows at WIZNU, including a smash hit featuring our friend, the amazing Abby Martin.
PHOTOS 1, 2, 3 & 4: ZANE BONO. PHOTO 5: RICK MENDOZA
Joining Michael is WIZNU’s associate director and Citizen LA photo editor Rick Mendoza (shout out to George Stiehl for a great article on Bonoboville), and sultry singer Jiin Christou. Later, Jiin croons some of her sexy, ethereal and trance-danceable music for us.
PHOTOS 1 & 2: ZANE BONO. PHOTO 3 & 4: RICK MENDOZA
Michael also shares some of his fine art photography of celebrities, David Bowie, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Janet Jackson, all available in Saatchi gallery. Everyone with a phone is a photographer these days, but Michael’s a “master” of the trade, and he invites those interested in enhancing their photographic skills to join him for a mini master class this Thursday in conjunction with the DTLA Artwalk and his major master class this Saturday (if you miss them, stay in touch with WIZNU, and there’s bound to be another). Michael, still the compassionate Catholic boy he was raised to be in the sense of caring for those less fortunate, is also spearheading a Heal the Homeless of Downtown LA project with “homeless celebrity” Ted Hayes and many more. Props for that! Let us all “heal the homeless” as we allow “them” to “heal” us of the hypocritical burden our spirits undertake when we pretend that we can “own” a piece of the Earth. Let us give each other shelter from the storm.
Speaking of the “storm”… of splosh, Michael keeps his kilt clean and stays out of squirting range, though Rick takes some nice shots and Jiin sings from the scene like a goddess among the mud pie people.
The Monkey and Madame
Next up on the bed is sleek and charming roleplay and fetish specialist Madame Margherite with her adorable “Monkey“ (Andres Rey Solorzano), arranged by Paniscus Brecht, who will be writing an interview for Dirge Magazine (coming on the show next Saturday!). Madame is gearing up for a Fetish Elite Toy Drive animal roleplay party raising money for Toys for Tots. She will host the event in character as Viking Queen Schosha, supervising feasts, games and “pet” wrestling matches. Apparently, her sweet Monkey is going to be pitted against a ravenous hyena, and we wish him luck. Perhaps, like bonobos, after they battle they’ll have great make-up sex.
We talk about how “releasing your inner animal,” whether that be bonobo, monkey or hyena, is a key to human happiness that most humans repress, kind of like the messy food instinct. If you want to release your inner animal in a safe and loving way, contact Madame Margherite, and she just might put her leash on you.
PHOTOS 1 & 2: ZANE BONO. PHOTO 3: SELFIE. PHOTO 4: RICK MENDOZA
Later, during the sploshing, Madame and her Monkey join in as the mischievous monkey throws “poop” at Madame—as well as me! Fortunately, this Monkey’s “poop” is chocolate pudding. If only we all pooped chocolate pudding, none of us would be toilet-trained!
Smokin’ Spoken Words
Our final chat before the food storm is with spoken word artist and weed advocate Imani Cupe who ascends the bed and smokes a blunt.
Raised Baptist by a very anti-marijuana mom, this Cannabis Queen didn’t take a toke until she was 21. She’s been toking ever since in a way that makes smoking a spiritual practice for this statuesque beauty with amazing braids.
Towards the end of the show, Imani delivers a Spoken Word performance of a piece called “Nomenclature” (author unknown) that mesmerizes Bonoboville with her forceful articulation and sheer dynamic presence.
Then it’s Splosh Time in Bonoboville! Pillows and jackets are removed, and chairs are Saran-wrapped for their own protection. The sploshees assemble: My lovely and brave assistant, Gypsy Bonobo, and pansensual newlyweds, world-renowned actress Daniele Watts and raw foods revolutionary Chef Be*LIVE. All three are relatively new therapists with the Block Institute, which might give the impression that this sploshing is some bizarre initiation rite that makes my alma mater Yale’s secret society hazings look tame in comparison.
PHOTOS 1, 2 & 4: IDEO PHOTO 3: RICK MENDOZA PHOTO 5: JUX LII
Actually, I got the idea from the NY Post, which just interviewed me about the sploshing fetish (video coming soon), inspiring me to don my chef’s cap, my protective latex Abigail Greydanus frock that I wore when delivered The Bonobo Way to DomCon LA. Gypsy lubes me up with Astroglide between scenes.
Then I mix up this food storm of raw foods, courtesy of rawkstar Chef Be*Live, and junk foods… courtesy of Uncle Ralph. We’ve got quite a diverse bill of fare but, like most DrSuzy.Tv shows—or maybe a bit more than most—what comes out of the kitchen is a lot more than what’s on the menu. Playing with food releases the “inner child” in all of us and a bit of our inner animal too. Most of it is delicious, but some of it… well, you could say it just pushes the limits of “good taste” in more ways than one. When you play with what is “supposed” to be consumed, you get dirty, not with dirt itself, but with food which would make your momma say “Stop playing with your food!” And that is just so much sloppy, sploshy, transgressive fun!
PHOTOS 1 & 3: ZANE BONO. PHOTO 2: RICK MENDOZA. PHOTO 4: L’EROTIQUE. PHOTO 5: JUX LII
Food & Sex
Our needs for food and sex are two of our most basic animal drives. Almost everyone likes both food and sex; usually separately, but still, they are common pleasures. In a very controlled civilized way, we combine food and sex when we share a romantic dinner with kisses in between courses, when we feed each other grapes, or when we use a little whipped cream or honey to make oral sex tastier.
It’s not just a human thing either; bonobos love to combine food and sex. Check out Step 5 in the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo in The Bonobo Way: Combine Food & Sex, and you’ll see how they do it. Although the gustatory speed at which bonobos combine food and sex might give most humans indigestion.
Nevertheless, food and sex are more than just basic drives; they are two of the most vital and delectable elements of life for humans and other animals, as well as two of the richest representations of love. We humans often use food and sex as carnal metaphors for love. After all, love is pretty abstract. You can feel love in your heart… or is it all in your head? But you can’t hold love in your arms or savor it in your mouth. This is where chocolate kisses, hot buttered buns, sweet creamy pies and big hard cucumbers come in. Food and sex bring love to life. Recipes and positions vary, but the basic needs hold true.
Our intimate, sometimes confused food-and-sex associations have their roots in the beginnings of life itself. As Drs. Lynn Margulis and Dorion Sagan suggest in Origins of Sex: Three Billion Years of Genetic Recombination, the first “meiotic” sex acts were a kind of cannibalism on the cellular level. Consuming led to reproducing, which led to more consuming, and here we are now, reenacting that primal cellular scene, eating each other up with love.
Indeed, when you eat something off of, or out of someone, you get to revel in the faux cannibalism of oral carnality that lies deep within our genes, as well as our jeans. We get into a fair amount of oral carnality in this sploshing, which is why we stick mostly with sweet foods—from raw to junk—foregoing the hot peppers and raw eggs of other, more punitive forms of sploshing.
Squirting Chef Be*Live’s rainbow pallet of goops on the canvases of these beautiful bodies, I feel like the Jackson Pollack of Splosh.
Sploshing Trump & Thank You HBO
And yes, of course, we splosh Trump! How could we not? Other media people are twisting their morals into pretzels trying to give this Big Baby who plays with people’s lives (not just with a little food), and is about to become Pie-Thrower-in-Chief a “chance.”
Trump supporters are bloated and drunk on “winning,” flying their Confederate flags, holding high-profile neo-Nazi (aka alt-right) meetings, harassing minorities and scrawling racist, sexist, homophobic bile on churches and high school walls. Meanwhile, we “losers” are stabbing ourselves and each other with our own safety pins of solidarity, trying to figure out what went wrong, what the hell to do now and which news is “fake news.”
So, for the sake of healing our own still-throbbing Trumpocalypse trauma (which is likely to get worse before it realistically gets better), we splosh Donald Trump! We also express a hazy but passionate hope that we can somehow help the amoral, royally narcissistic and desperately love-needy Donny-Boy to ‘go bonobos.” Maybe we can even turn him into a more compassionate, aware, sexually satisfied and inclusive being… with a good sploshing.
We do realize that this hope is quite absurd, but so is a world in which a big baby, pussy-grabbing, mad-tweeting con-artist who doesn’t even really want the job, would get “elected” President of the United States. So a sploshing we go, Trump in tow! With a touch of mild “humiliation splosh” and a lot of sticky love, we turn the Trumpster into a Dumpster.
Apparently, our efforts pay off because by the climax of his sploshing, Trumpty Dumpty has a great fall…and turns into awesome rawkstar Chef Be*Live: a dramatic transformation for the good of all! This includes Trump himself. You’d think sploshing might be fattening, but it actually causes the Trumpster to dump at least 100 pounds (though his hands get bigger!). Now if only he would dump his personal investments in the Dakota Pipeline and make Energy Transfer Partners get off the reservation….
Speaking of erotic politics, thank you HBO for rerunning our most political HBO piece, “Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy” on Real Sex 25, when we celebrated the historic moment that another U.S. President “got a blowjob without losing his day job.”
You could say our Trump surrogate has a “sploshgasm,” an orgasm while sploshing. Sploshgasms take different forms. The sploshee might be brought to orgasm by the splosher’s hand or tongue as well as the food itself, perhaps some whipped cream or sensuous peanut butter which acts as a lubricant or stimulant, in addition to tasting yumilicious. Oblong fruits and vegetables, such as squash and bananas, may be used as sex toys; back to the organic miracle of “nature’s own dildos.” Unfortunately, nature doesn’t make vibrators. And no, you should not stuff a live hummingbird down your lover’s panties—that’s not splosh, nor is it animal play; that’s animal abuse. Though you can use a regular vibrator or just have sex or masturbate while sploshing, and have yourself a sploshgasm. Just make sure you don’t get molasses in your battery pack.
Sometimes a sploshgasm isn’t a real physical orgasm for the sploshee, so much as a visual metaphor for orgasm, as in spraying cream in someone’s mouth or all over his or her chest (with the right boob-splosh, it could look like lactating or a pearl-necklace, depending on your pleasure), or dribbling coconut milk over a nice round bottom. This is especially satisfying for the splosh voyeur, because the milk looks like a fantasy ejaculation which may well stimulate a real ejaculation in the happy splosh voyeur.
First, we do some clothed sploshing, as per the requirements of the New York Post, but eventually, my sploshees lose their bikinis and briefs, sploshing the night away, and dance tribal-style, as Ikkor the Wolf raps “She Bad,” and the music of the spheres plays on, as the delicious mud people trance-boogie to the beat, high on naughty food play.
From Splosh to The Doctors!
Before and during the sploshing, we talk about being on THE DOCTORS because our segment will air THIS Wednesday, Dec. 7th. Set your DVRs to the CBS-Tv station near you… Drs. Travis Stork, Nita Landry & Andrew Ordon interview me about Erotic Hypnotherapy & Erotic Hypnosis, and they also talk with Daniele & Chef Be*Live about their experience under hypnosis with me… If you’d like to experience Erotic Hypnotherapy, call the Institute at 213-291-9497. If you’d like to learn how to put yourself under, read Step 2 in the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo in The Bonobo Way. Or just watch me, Daniele, the Chef & Dr. Travis, Dr. Nita & Dr. Drew. We also talk about trigger words and hands-free orgasms!
Messier and Messier
This sploshy show doesn’t really have an ending. Sploshing puts you into an altered state, or at least, that’s what it does to me, and I can’t tell time from taco sauce.
This leads to some messy interactions and proverbial slips on banana peels, but all’s well that ends well, and my delicious evening climaxes with my handsome Captain lightly sploshing me with sensuous Cannabelly cannabis-infused extra-virgin coconut oil (concocted by Jux Lii), stirring up a crockpot-cracking sploshgasm that breaks all the recipes and makes a (small) mess.
Thanks to this week’s volunteers: Camera Operators, Photographers, Bartender, and our in-house bonobos Abe Perez, Del Rey, Gypsy Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Jacquie Blu, MarsFX, Paniscus Brecht and Zane Bono.
© Decemer 4 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.