Sex at Dawn IV
Length 1:31:11 Date: August 1, 2015
It’s Sex at Dawn co-author Dr. Christopher Ryan’s fourth sapiosexually stimulating guest appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show in exactly five years. Since our first August, 2010 phoner (which he called, in his book’s inscription, “the best interview of all time”) and his first in-studio visit later that year and appearance #3, Sex at Dawn has become not *just* a New York Times best-seller translated into 20 different languages, but a beloved, oft-quoted Bible for a new generation of sex revolutionaries, and we’re proud to have been one of the very first to acknowledge Sex at Dawn’s genius back in the summer of 2010. Flash forward five years later, and here we are celebrating the book’s success with a Womb Room packed with fans and bonoboesque feelings.
It’s actually a full “Sex at Dawn Day” for me, commencing with a little marital sex at dawn—the Capt’n and I getting hot just anticipating another sexy night in Bonoboville—and it just gets hotter from there. In fact, by the time Chris gets here to interview me about The Bonobo Way for his podcast “Tangentially Speaking,” it’s sweltering in the shade. Then we have to turn off the noisy air-conditioning to do the interview.
Hot or on the spot, it’s a great pleasure to sit down and talk bonobos with someone like Chris (though there’s no one like Chris) who *gets* it even better than I do, and who was one of the first to give The Bonobo Way a ringing endorsement. We range like hunter-gatherers over topics and race between tangents, from bonobo pansexuality to Sapolsky’s baboons, from “shame exorcism” to shame as an aphrodisiac, from the bonobo (and human) lust for strangers to some really taboo topics that you’ll have to check out when he posts this cerebrally sexy, philosophically provocative show.
Then a few hours later, it’s time for my show, which picks up on a few of those Tangentially Speaking tangents and runs with them, like a bonobo after a banana, right into a 90-minute improvisational circus of stimulation for the erotic intellect as well as the horny animal within you, all loosely revolving around this seminal book that so eloquently helps us to understand why our natural sexual feelings are often so at odds with society’s—and even our own—expectations of what sex and love *should* be.
First up on the broadcast bed is exquisite Arden Leigh, demurely attired in virgin white, whom I discovered in the interview archives of Tangentially Speaking. Arden is a former dominatrix who’s personally submissive, as well as the author of The New Rules of Attraction, founder of the Sirens Seduction Forum and a sort of reverse-Neil Straus who helps women seduce “high value” partners they desire, instead of just going along with whichever cocky dude approaches them. Arden’s “new rules” have, predictably, been met with disdain from the ladies who wrote The Rules. Arden’s approach to seduction is refreshingly bonoboësque, since bonobo females are the most sexually assertive, as well as the most empowered (and least harassed) apes on Earth. Bonobo female sexual assertiveness is one of the keys to keeping the peace, through pleasure, in Bonoboville.
Chris introduces us to another bonoboësque lady, Tal OM, a sex and relationship coach and sensual touch healer. The sultry Tal attests to the healing power of touch, and I can attest to her personal abilities as she lets her fingers do the talking and gives me a very nice “sample” of her talents in the after-party. I also learn something new about Chris: Before he met Cacilda, he was a “massage therapist for lingerie models.” No, it’s no joke, and if you listen to this show, you might learn how you too can obtain such pleasantly gainful employment.
Just as we’re discussing the freedom to “monetize” our erotic abilities, in swirls Natasha Juja, the latest protégé of Jack the Zipper (whom we last saw with Ron Jeremy and Dennis Hof at the Harry Reams Tribute from Deep Throat the play), principle booty-shaker of The Buzz’ video Just Another Whore. Further discussion of whoring, monetizing and ignorant “anti-prostitution” actress/activists ensues. Then Natasha does a striptease and jiggles her “jujas” which are as large and firm as watermelons, in contrast to her tight little body, classically trained in Ukrainian ballet. As she twerks and quivers to Just Another Whore, the Womb Room explodes into cheers mixed with laughter and communal ecstasy (no, that’s not a Cosby Cocktail; that’s a group feeling of erotic good vibes).
Just as Juja’s exuberance begins to dissolve into feeling “shy” and telling cat tales, TS Stefani Special, the latest “protégé” of Jux Lii, essentially “steals the show.” Stef stayed in the background at both our 23rd Wedding Anniversary and last Saturday’s BDSM Theater extravaganza, but she is all foreground for Sex at Dawn IV, stripping down to nothing but the high heels on her feet and the bow in her hair for an amazing anatomy lesson in MTF androgyny. What a beauty!
When it’s time for Bonoboville Communion, I toast the pagan holiday of Lammas, the harvest festival or “bring your bread to church” day which happens to fall on August 1. I love to celebrate most holidays, especially the pagan ones, but Lammas is a celebration of agriculture and, on my first reading of Sex at Dawn, I realized that agriculture is, mostly likely, the ‘root of all evil’ in human culture, so I’m a little conflicted. According to the book: “Agriculture, one might say, has involved the domestication of the human being as much as of any plant or other animal… The shift to agriculture is normally spun as a great leap forward, despite the fact that it was actually a disaster for most of the individuals who endured it. Skeletal remains taken from various regions of the world dating to the transition from foraging to farming all tell the same story: increased famine, vitamin deficiency, stunted growth, radical reduction in life span, increased violence… little cause for celebration. For most people, we’ll see that the shift from foraging to farming was less a giant leap forward than a dizzying fall from grace.” (Sex at Dawn, page 83)
So ours is more of an anti-Lammas celebration, though we certainly harvest some hotties. Instead of wheat, we use salt, and tonight’s libation of choice is Agwa Coca Leaf Liqueur. First communion of the night is between me and Natasha who declares that licking my nipple is her FIRST girl-girl experience and, if I can believe it, I’m honored. Then Tal OM and Stefani exchange particularly passionate Bonoboville Communion nipple-sucks, and Arden ardently licks my neck with a tongue as slithery as my snake. Talk about the art of seduction…
Shout-outs (RadioSUZY1 tweets by Del Rey) to Steve Karras for his awesomely rave review of The Bonobo Way in the Huffington Post; to Abby Martin whose art show opens on August 13th at Wiznulabs; to Lola ya Bonobo on the release of “Bonobos: Back to the Wild” featuring Claudine Andre; to Dr. SerenaGaia and the Ecosexuality movement; to Dr. Mars who called in during all the madness; and to Carrie Weisman whose anal sex interview with me just got picked up by Salon and who just posted a terrific new Alternet piece (also drawing upon one of our hot conversations) on Group Sex.
Speaking of “group sex,” the anti-Lammas after-party (where we are joined by Biz, Chelsea and Aaliyah Corsets) isn’t an orgy, just a festival of bonoboësque fun and moderate debauchery (as Capt’n Max reminds us at the show’s close, we are not as politically correct as some of our esteemed colleagues) under the twinkling lights of our burgeoning garden.
We bid farewell to Chris, now going from the “little death” to the Big One for his next book Civilized to Death (for which we got awesome new T-shirts!). Then those of us who remain take the after-party to the next level, and before we can say “Happy Lammas,” the harvest sun is peeking over the swaying palm trees of Bonoboville, and it’s time for another rejuvenating round of sex at dawn.
© August 2, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.