Therapy for the Trumpocalypse on DrSuzy.Tv with 99Dollz!
Length 1:46:06 Date: July 23, 2016
Falling like an avalanche of red, white and blue Zyklon B-releasing balloons between the two American presidential conventions of 2016, this show finds Bonoboville grappling with the intensely divided state of the United States. However, with the help of some beautiful music, amazing parody, Bonoboville Communion and sexy half-naked bodies moving and grooving the Bonobo Way, it’s not long before we come up smiling, happy and horny, the sound of jack boots marching in the distance.
Welcome to the Trumpocalypse. After four long days of rabid fear-mongering, petty plagiarism, bigotry, stupidity, misogyny, progeny, Nazi salutes, blondes in white dresses, calls for execution of the Democratic candidate by firing squad and fervent prayers to Make America HATE Again, Bonoboville is slightly traumatized. At least, I am, this being the nastiest American presidential convention in my memory. And if Trump wins which, considering the increasing fractious state of the Democratic party, is looking more and more possible, this reality show is just beginning.
Many of my fellow Bonobovillians, listeners and viewers are wise enough to steer clear of this gathering of terrorizing trolls around their supreme trollish leader. The Trump-avoidance technique helps them preserve their sanity and humanity, but it adds to the myth that Trump is just a silly buffoon with funny hair. Maybe he is, but maybe he isn’t. You never know with a shamelessly hateful, principle-free, attention-span-challenged narcissist, do you? And he’s one election away from Airforce One.
It makes me think of Weimar Berlin. In between the two World Wars, before the Nazis marched in, the Germans had a democracy. They had freedom of speech, relative equality, nudist resorts, and liberal policies. Berlin itself boasted all kinds of marvelous erotic entertainment, from sex cabarets to gay clubs to dominatrices openly plying their trade, as described in my friend UC Berkeley Professor Mel Gordon’s book Voluptuous Panic: The Erotic World of Weimar Berlin. Weimar Berliners were having so much fun, they barely noticed this silly buffoon with a funny moustache rising in popularity out in the German hinterlands.
Moreover, the liberals of Weimar Germany squabbled amongst one another, and their internal competitions took precedence over the threat from the Right that was positioning itself to kick in their doors. Even when the silly buffoon with the funny moustache took power and then more power and then absolute power, most of the good liberal citizens of Weimar Berlin didn’t worry, since these same Nazis patronized their sex cabarets, dominatrices and gay clubs. Some didn’t realize how wrong they were until they were inhaling the Zyklon-B.
I know, Trump isn’t a Hitler or even a Mussolini, at least not yet. But we ignore the lessons of Weimar Berlinat our peril, and that is another reason why Capt’n Max and I spend the first part of this program speaking out against the silly buffoon with the funny hair (and small hands) of our own time and place. Also because, as the Captain points out, beyond whatever else a U.S. President might actually accomplish, he nominates Supreme Court justices that could affect our legal system for years to come. “If Trump gets in, women will lose their rights and I’ll go back to jail,” predicts Capt’n Max, only half kidding.
Trump Dollz Go Bonobos
Many traumatized people eroticize their trauma. Sexual arousal can act as a kind of therapy or painkiller to help a victim of abuse survive. Traumatized by the Trumpocalyse, I fixated on the harem of beautiful Trump girls; I know, they’re women, but the way Daddy Trump presents them and the way they present themselves, they seem like eternal girls. All-blonde-all-the-time daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, equally blonde daughters-in-law Lara and Vanessa and blonde-highlighted wife Melania, all pretty as plastic dolls, all dressed in white at one time or another or all through the convention. Trump family plagiarist Melania’s cloud-white frock even sported puffed angel wings around her elbows.
I must admit I was aroused by this sea of feminine summer-hot whiteness as much as I was disturbed. Were the Trump girls seriously trying to appear as angels, or just born-again virgins? Daughter-brides of Trump Daddy? Or was wearing pure white a subtle but potent symbol of their racial whiteness, a signal to Aryan power freaks, David Duke and other white supremacists that Daddy Drumpf keeps by his bedside with Mein Kampf? Whatever the cause, as fear, hatred, bigotry and boredom spewed from the RNC stage, I found myself fantasizing about the Trump harem girls stripping off their racist white dresses and sucking on each other pink nipples as they performed Bonoboville Communion with Agwa di Bolivia Herbal Coca Leaf Liqueur right in front of me.
Which is pretty much what happens on this show! The stand-ins for the Trump girls are my featured guests, Baylie Kruz and Kenzie Jamez of 99Dollz, two platinum blondes in snow-white dresses. I did not plan this, and neither did Sarah Bella who arranged for Baylie and Kenzie to be on the show and chose their white outfits without having even seen the Trump girls. However it happens, it’s as if my elephantine RNC-trauma-induced wet dream walks into my Womb Room and gives me a lapdance.
PHOTO 1: SARAH BELLA. PHOTO 2: TEDDY BOY. PHOTOS 3 & 4: ROBERTO BONOBO
Not that Baylie and Kenzie are just dream characters. They are real lively ladies, and we have a nice chat about their real lives and their work in the field of erotic entertainment. A porn performer from “Middle America” (Cincinnati), Baylie is now a savvy manager of porn starlets. With a forthrightness that could take her into politics one day, she gives us the inside story of how to break into porn and what to expect.
Fresh out of Idaho, Kenzie is brand new to porn. In fact, she’s only 18, just old enough to have sex and do porn legally, but too young to drink the Agwa in Bonoboville Communion. So Handsome Hollywood Jake fixes her a nice alcohol-free Shirley Temple to wash down the salt, and she offers up her natural nubile breasts as an altar to lapsed Mormon Baylie’s sensuous tongue. Between the white dresses, red lipstick and a blue tattoo, they present a pretty patriotic picture.
Then Kenzie surprises and seduces us all with a song. Crooning “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” her bell-clear soprano rings throughout Bonoboville with hope and joy that vanquishes all thoughts of those other white-clad Stepford blondes and their despot Daddy. We dub her “The Singing Pornstar”—a musical sexual sensation!
Then Unscene Abe cranks up Too Short’s “Gangsters & Strippers,” and Kenzie and Baylie strip off their Trump-girl-white dresses as they kiss, dance and do the hoka-hoka like bonobo gals. Trump Dollz go bonobos on DrSuzy.Tv!
Ikkor & More
With black men being shot by police for no good reason every day all over America, and with what Mitt Romney (I can’t believe I’m quoting Mitt Romney!) calls the “trickle-down racism” of Trump on the rise, we are always grateful to see that our tall, dark and handsome friend Ikkor the Wolf is still alive. Requesting that he take his jacket off turns into a chant to “jack it off!” An interesting interchange ensues with Kenzie about racism in Idaho where “the only black people we see are criminals on TV,” and a hot black-on-blonde kiss passes between Ikkor and Baylie. Nothing like a little interracial passion to counteract that trickle-down racism.
Nothing like a little bonobo love to counteract the trickle-down hate and bullying. Pitting the LGBTQ community against Muslims, blacks against Latinos and women against each other, Trump panders most to the angry white male bullies who have lurked deep within the Republican party behind the scenes since Nixon. Now with Trump, they are front, center, and unashamed. And so the party of Lincoln becomes the Hunger Games.
PHOTO 1: TEDDY BOY. PHOTO 2: UNSCENE ABE. PHOTO 3: ROBERTO BONOBO
In topsy turvy times like these, grace takes odd forms. Like, I can’t believe I am saying this BUT Ted Cruz… has balls. Small balls, since the only reason the smarmy, Bible-toting, gun fetishist gave for not endorsing Trump is “he attacked my famileee,” but balls that most of his colleagues at the Quick Loans Arena lacked completely. Not that there were many colleagues there, unless Scott Baio is now running for Congress. If Trump wins, he probably will.
PHOTOS: ROBERTO BONOBO
If Trump wins… Every day, with every terrorist act and DNC scandal, it’s becoming more nauseatingly possible. Let’s be clear: I don’t love Hillary; who does? But if Hillary loses, Trump wins. The choice is stark… especially in the dark.
So, how do we handle our myriad Hillary issues? There are many ways, but putting a proudly narcissistic, neo-fascist bully in the White House isn’t one of them. I want to apologize to my friends Abby Martin, Michael Donnelly and Jeffrey St. Clair for saying anything good about Hillary. “I feel your pain.” Hillary is our Hubert Humphrey. Like most career politicians, she’s riddled with corruption from lobbyists, banks and the Military Industrial Complex, to name a few, and she can’t keep her damn emails under control. Though anyone Ben Carson ties to “Lucifer” has got to be at least somewhat cool. Seriously, there is a difference between corruption and the critically sociopathic incompetence of the buffoon with the funny hair and the millions of lunatic, racist, sexist bullies he emboldens if he wins.
These are scary times for progressives, but doing this show helped me and watching it might help you to confront the fear and fear-mongering with courage and bonobo love.
© July 24, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.