Kink Month 4 on DrSuzy.Tv: Nasty Women & Bad Hombres of Bonoboville Infantilize Trumpty Dumpty + Religious Roleplay, Hot Wax & More Spankings!
Length 1:44:53 Date: October 22, 2016
Kink Month gets kinkier on the fourth great DrSuzy.Tv show of October, 2016—the year of the kinkiest, kookiest American election ever, with penis size, pussy-grabbing and Putin puppetry on the short-list of debate topics, and Fall’s witchy mysteries lurking in dark clouds overhead.
Nasty Women & Bad Hombres Unite!
In this show, we erotically alchemize all the foul politics and frustration into bonoboësque fun and sex education, as the “Nasty Women” and “Bad Hombres” of Bonoboville turn the Trumpster Dumpster into the “adult baby” that he truly is. With Joie de la Fessée, as they say en français, we spank him with The Bonobo Way, gag his potty mouth with a big banana and celebrate the kinky season in the Church of Bonoboville. Our guest preacher, nerf-gun-packing Mother Superior Porcelain Midnight, and a kinky choir of sexy devils worshiping various Gods and Goddesses, making confession, receiving Communion and smacking many a willing, wiggling butt with books, paddles, crops and JuxLeather finger floggers.
Between butt-smacks, we break down the smack-down between those two much rabid major party wrestlers—I mean, candidates—vying to be Smacker-in-Chief in their best, worst and wildest debate yet. Hillary won, again. She was smart (go Yale!), unabashedly feminist (Awomen!), pro-Roe vs. Wade (yay!), pro-LGBTQ rights (double yay!) and well-prepared, though maybe a little too well-rehearsed. It seemed like her smiles were practiced before a focus group until all were satisfied that she could stretch her lips with ease even under Russian nuclear attack.
But everyone knows that underneath all the grins, inclusivity talk and the snowy white pope suit is Hillary the corporate warmonger with a history of voting for for America’s Perma Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now baiting Putin and ISIS, apparently more ready than ever to put American military might where her mouth is. Military Hillary, to the tune of her battle-glorifying and incredibly irritating “Fight Song” campaign anthem, could be the most belligerent president we’ve had since George Dubya Chickenhawk Shrub boarded the USS Constitution in his flight suit and declared “Mission Accomplished.” Hillary’s answer to Perma War is more war. Not very bonobo, to say the least.
However, the alternative to Military Hillary is Trump. He doesn’t even need a nickname, as the name Trump is now synonymous with stupid, bully, vulgar, coward, pussy-grabber (his latest accuser is porn star Jessica Drake), nuclear, narcissist, Trumpty Dumpty, Putin’s puppet, sore loser. Yes indeed, this U.S. Presidential candidate stated—twice!—that he won’t commit to accepting the election results, as basic to democracy as voting and the balance of power. He says he’d rather keep us “in suspense.” For what… a coup? Trumpty Dumpty’s great fall? Trump.TV?
Trump as “Adult Baby”
Well, here at DrSuzy.Tv, we don’t keep you in suspense; we treat Trumpty Dumpty just like the big baby that he truly is. Maybe he has a real “adult baby” fetish and would enjoy this. In any case, we shrink Baby Trump down to size, give him lots of spankings, tie up his tiny hands and make him suck a big banana.
I also make him wear a Ron de Jeremy rum T shirt, since the Hedgehog is known for pussy-grabbing (many of my guests have had personal experience), but it’s consensual, at least by the second grab. Then we make Trump suck an ear of corn along with the banana. As a final act of HUUUGE presidential humiliation, we make Trump Baby suck the head of Billdo (the Bill Clinton dildo)! What a gag. It’s not Last Week Tonight, but it is Saturday night live in Bonoboville, and we have big spanking fun with it! I call it Trumpocalypse Therapy.
Mother Superior Porcelain Midnight
And Kink Month does get kinkier! Dare I say, as Heaven and Hell are my witnesses, Mistress Porcelain is divine in her latex nun’s habit, accented by her Jesus tattoo. Assisted by her apprentice Luna, Our Lady of Sadistic Fun and Kinky Games is as tall as Trump Towers in her 10 inch platform heels. She also does deliciously nasty things with our Divine Interventions Jesus Jackhammer dildo, the Baby Jesus butt plug, The Bonobo Way (what a great book-spanker she is!) and a Nerf Gun loaded with antiseptic darts. Talk about a Weapon of Ass Destruction; Sister Porcelain the Nerf-Packing Nun shoots these needle-sharp nerf darts into Jacquie Blu’s happy butt, bringing new meaning to the title “Ass. Producer,” which Jacquie happens to be for this show. Though most of the darts bounce off of Jacquie’s buff booty, it’s a sight to behold when they sink in and Jacquie moans in pleasure. However, do NOT try this at home. If you really want to become a mistress or master of Nerf-needle shooting, you must apprentice yourself to Mistress Porcelain Midnight.
Then the nerf-gun-shooting nun becomes an acupuncturist, sticking the needles into Jacquie’s butt, which Jacquie shows off to the crowd, her face radiant with a sort of heavenly bliss. Shades of Saint Sebastian and Mishima.
After the barely civil verbal shooting match that was the white-tie Al Smith dinner, held under the beaming auspices of Cardinal Timothy Dolan, archbishop of New York, dressed remarkably like Sister Porcelain in black and red, as well as sporting a giant, very phallic cross (but what was he wearing under his dress?), it is refreshing to see “such a nasty woman” of religion in action.
Goddess Godiva & Gypsy Bonobo
We also welcome back sexy Goddess Godiva, first seen on our Kink Month Kick-Off. Kinkster, mistress and self-described “pet psychologist,” this femme fatale proves fatal to the riding crop that Madam Sydney Jones left behind. At least, it meets its “end” in a good cause: beating Trump… the larger human version in a brief, obviously panicked appearance. Raised in a strict Catholic household, Godiva confesses to Mother Superior Porcelain that her day-job involves coaching men to eat their own ejaculate. Since “every sperm is sacred,” the Goddess removes her top in penance, baring her perky breasts for all to ogle.
This segues almost seamlessly into a rousing and rather religious round of Bonoboville Communion with Goddess Godiva as the altar girl. After some negotiations, our newest ass. producer, the quintessentially adorable Gypsy Bonobo, volunteers to take her First Communion, with Agwa di Bolivia Herbal Coca Leaf Liqueur, served up by the world’s hottest serving wench, decked out in black latex and her signature black and white bob, Shannon Coronado, who is sharing bartending duties this show with Handsome Hollywood Jake. We do indeed have the best-looking bartending team in LA, and though they sparred like Trump vs. Hillary when they met, they must have kissed and made up, because now they’re getting along. Hey, it’s the Bonobo Way.
Photos 1, 2, 5: Abe Bonobo. Photos 3 & 4: Selfies
Meanwhile, Gypsy licks up the sacred salt from the Goddess Godiva’s left boob, then lies back in the lap of the Goddess as I pour the emerald liquid through her open mouth and down her Communion-virgin throat. Waterboarding, Bonobo-Style! Hillary should use this on ISIS…
Hot Wax & Cool Tunes
Music is the “food of love,” and from rap to opera, Bonoboville moves to many melodies. First, Ikkor the Wolf serenades us with “She Bad”… merrily invoking both Trump’s epithets “Nasty Woman” and “Bad Hombres.”
Ikkor is accompanied by the talented Tuesday Conner, playwright and poet extraordinaire (introduced to us by Orpheus Black, as was Ikkor himself), as well as an eager student of The Bonobo Way who calls herself Twin Butterflies and bares her twin boobs, both with pierced nipples, takes a mean book-spanking and a hot-waxing in the after party. Pure white wax dripping from a devotional candle sure looks a lot like a heavy load of sperm-rich semen.
Speaking of which, we also discuss “cuckservatives,” a hip term among the Trump Bros and Alt-Right White Supremacist guys, combining the term “conservative” with “cuckold,” for middle-of-the-road Republicans like Mitt Romney who just keeps a Binder Full of Women, but doesn’t brag about nonconsensually grabbing their pussies. In other words, a cuckservative is a conservative who somehow isn’t conservative, racist or misogynist enough and “cuckolds” his country to liberals, people of color or, worst of all, nasty women like Hillary Clinton.
It’s ironic that all these frustrated, paranoid, mostly straight-identifying (except Milo Yiannopoulos) white men who worry (and get aroused by the idea) that their hotwives’ pussies are going to be consensually and skillfully grabbed by black men and “bad hombres,” have taken to calling folks who aren’t quite so paranoid, racist and misogynist “cuckservatives.” But who’s really the cuckold here? As a sex therapist who talks to Trump Bro types rather often (and who wrote the definition of “cuckold” for the Wiley-Blackwell Sexuality Encyclopedia, I’d say many of them are struggling with interracial cuckold fantasies that both arouse and repulse them. Throughout the Obama administration, these guys have been alternately excited and disgusted that “I’ve got a black man in my White House, and now all I can think about is watching a black man (usually with a HUUUUUGE penis) in my white woman.”
The “Therapists Without Borders” of the Dr. Susan Block Institute try to help guys like this to express their feelings and fantasies safely, without hurting anyone or running for President of the United States.
So if you (or someone you care about) like to call people “cuckservatives,” maybe you could benefit from some cuckold therapy. We are here to help you channel your desires safely into cuckoldry and fantasy, instead of a nation-damaging U.S. Presidential campaign.
The moment of truth, Election Day, is almost here. As I confess, on my knees (!) to Mother Confessor Porcelain, I have multiple problems with Hillary. I really want to vote for my friend Mistress Tara Indiana for President, because I trust her and I know she can whip this country into shape, one middle-aged white man at a time. I’d even vote for Jeffrey Vallance… But neither has a chance of winning. And Hillary not only has a chance, but she will win, and she will win big (you read it here!), but not if voters like me don’t vote for her. Most of us never believed the orange-haired dude with the small hands and big mouth would make it this far, so we mustn’t underestimate the possibility of a President Trump and all the horrors that entails, especially for the Supreme Court.
Besides, it would be fun and rather bonobo to vote for the first woman to run for President on a major party ticket (though she isn’t the first woman to run for president; Victoria Woodhull has that title). Hillary has her considerable faults, but she’s #NotTrump and, as my friend, environmentalist and feminist, Malcolm Jones says, “The bottom line, as I see it, is that having survived millennia of male domination of our species, it’s women’s turn to take on the world.” So I guess you could say I’m with her, in solidarity as a fellow #NastyWoman… with my very own #BadHombre: Capt’n Max!
© October 22 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.