Too $hort in tha Speakeasy!
Length: 95:13 minutes Date: 01/28/2012
It gets gangstah raw up in my Womb Room as we welcome Oakland’s own Rap University Dean of Pimpology—Too $hort. In his honor, several of the hoochies get hella hyphy—not to mention, naked. Then the strippahs wrap around the pole as the gangstahs rap about their holes.
Too $hort: After his long awaited first time arrival to get his digs into the Womb Room dugout, we womb-warmly welcome Pimp Prince of Rap, the one and only Too $hort, even if he is almost Too Late. Promoting his new album NoTrespASSing (drops 2/28/12) and deliciously nasty, booty-shaking new song “Money on the Floor,” Shawt Dawg fits right into the Speakeasy scene of ethical debauchery.
Joslyn James: After pleading the Fifth about her private relations with our feature guest whom she fondly calls “Todd,” she credits his music for helping her to bring out the ho in the horny housewife she was before finding freedom through divorce. Unfortunately for all, Tiger Woods’ former Hole-in-One keeps her huge fake boobs in lock-down during the show, though she deigns to wear some 911 panties for the Panty Boy Collection, and cuts loose with a rapper or two in the after-party.
Stevie Shae: A virgin to the Womb Room, this Bay Area blonde packs her sleek but bouncy little ass into a tiny, tight red dress. She may have spent part of her youth on a horse ranch in Iowa, but now she’s getting naked hyphy on stage, stripping off the red dress to reveal her peace sign tattoo and beautiful body, then donning Munkeybarz for easy handling.
Prince Yahshua: Another RadioSuzy1 virgin, the prince is founder of Silverback Entertainment. Though my best friends are the bonobos, I also love big gorillas. The prince is a little too shy to strip down and get busy with the babes onstage (maybe next time!), he does demonstrate the use of the Munkeybarz on Stevie and bounces me on his leg (not that leg!) in time to “Cocktales.”
Bonnie Rotten: Beyond bad ass and barely legal, bodacious Bonnie is back again on RadioSuzy1, but this time she’s married to Jack Spade! Well, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas… Her favorite Shawt Dawg jam is Blow Job Betty, possibly because she makes an excellent Blow Job Bonnie. Bonnie proves herself a true pole dance prodigy by turning some hot-as-hell pole tricks.
Vanessa Blake: Brand new to the Speakeasy, this Silverback girl is from the OC, so we name “California Girls” her Too $hort cut. Yup, she gets that dime-piece treatment every where she goes. The Cali flavor all the real players know…
Maya Hills: We welcome our favorite part-Siberian porn star back to the warmth of the Womb Room, now a sweet strawberry blonde, as she does a tit-illating striptease pink-panty dance for our guest of honor, Señor Short.
Lil Uno is here for his second week in a row of RadioSuzy1 action, having dubbed the Speakeasy “Orgyland” after Eros Day XIII. This emcee of The Pack and nephew to the Shawt Dawg, is a self-proclaimed minute man—and the true hoes love him for that—no shame in his game.
Brad wants to masturbate for Stevie or Joslyn. Go ahead, Brad! In Too $hort’s words, you should be “Getting’ It”…
Haley wants and gets some Too $hort jams
Panty Boy wants and gets Joslyn’s 911 panties.
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Amen & Awomen, Cold World Outside the Hot Womb Room, Life is Too Short to Wait Too Long for Mr. Too Late, So Let’s Get This Party Started, Professor of Pimpology, Tight Spaces, Gorillas Have Harems of Bitches But Bonobos All Be Fuckin’ like Bitches, Going Fist Deep, Anal, Hyphy Sound, Being Educated About Anal During Divorce, Total Ape Shit Show, Munkey-Barz Good for Thrusting with Disabilities, Human Ingenuity Applied to Sex, TJ Cummings, Being Naked to Dance, Getting Married in Vegas at Age18, Being in Love, Not Being Tied to one Person, Talking About Too $hort in his Absence, Gangstah Boy Scouts, Familia, Balls Are Awesome, Debating the Value of Balls, Barely Legal Brides Are the XXXmas Present that Keeps on Giving, Milk-n-Cookie Freaky Tales, Real Pimp Ain’t Afraid to Ask, Cancer Is not a Ho–It’s a Bitch, Fuck that Bitch, The Ho Who Don’t get Paid Is a Slo, Hookers Who Slang Pussy, Obama Is the Number One Hooker, Missing the Obama Bus, Neck-n-Neck Tie Between Hookers & Porn Stars, Girls who Fuck for Money, Porn Girl Gettochological Debate, Douching, Bonobos Go On & On & I Don’t Understand How They Last So Long, Tantric Sex Practicing Bonobos, Monkey Pimps, Bonobo Porno, Fingering Their Own Asses at the Zoo, Sexually Aggressive Females Are Bonobo at Heart, MILF Stories, NoTrespASSing with Emphasis on the Assing, Hustler Models, Making Squirt Appearances, Climbing to the Top of the Golden Gate Bridge, Nancy Reagan’s Blowjob Abilities, Hyphy is Getting Hyper to a Beat, Before Hyphy it was Hifi, Blowing the Skin Flute on the Monkey Bars, Black People Time, Rapper Time, Gangsters & Strippers, Bitches, Bee-yatch!
Getting Hyphy, Pimping Purple, Booty Modeling In G-String Panties & Out of G-String Panties, Babes from the Bay Got Back, Monkeys Coming Out, Beautiful Bitches & Cranky Hoes, Getting on the Pole, Pretty Peace-sign Tattoo on the Groin, Shaking the Monkey for Me, Monkey Bar Demonstration, Spider Web Booby Dance, Married Pole-Wrapping Polecat Extraordinaire, Tiny G-string, Finding Cocktails (the Song, but Also the Drink), Picking Toys from Adult Play Parlor, Prude Editorial Assistants Snatching Birthday Power Toys, Contemplating Which Toy to Stick up the Ass, Birthday Cake, Birthday Boob Flashing and Sucking, Birthday Cake Boobs, Saving it for Too $hort, Blow that Shit, Too $hort’s Almost Too Late Arrival, Bubbles, Best Dick Sucking Vote, Salted Nipple Action, Spilling on the Guest of Honor, Sitting Between Two Hunks, Not Recognizing Joslyn with her Clothes off, Eskimo Pie, Screaming Lyrics, Sitting on Daddy’s Lap, Puffin’ on Stage, Pussy Poppin’, Eskimo Pole Dance, Droppin’ it Low, Showing Too Short the Eskimo Pussy, Switching out Multiple Spiffs while Documenting the Too $hort Titty Sit-in, Shout outs to the Bay, Saving the Pink Thong Pussy Tester for Last, Suzy sporting the Dong and the Th-Th-thong-thon-thong, Keeping the Pants off, Mentioning Occupy, Spilling Syllables like Pornographic Parables on the Mic, A Bitch That’s Really a Sexy Boss Bitch, Showing the Growing Bush, Pimp-Handling of Photographer Boobs, Calling Out Shy Girls, Panty Sniffing, Sexologist-Powered Monkey Rocker