Length 01:26:14 Date: Dec. 28th, 2019

by Dr. Susan Block

What a happy horny hot-wax Hanukkah in Bonoboville!

Hot Wax Hanukkah 2019 on DrSuzy.Tv with Sunshine, Violet Coxxx & Madame DeSade. Photo: Bianca

Hanukkah is the Jewish answer to Christmas.

It’s older than Xmas, though not a major holiday, but it falls in winter, so it piggybacks on Xmas.

Happy Horny Hanukkah! Photo: Jux Lii

Therefore, if there’s one Jewish holiday that Gentiles have heard of, its Hanukkah, or Chanuka or Hanuka. Since it’s a Hebrew word (meaning “consecration”) featuring guttural sounds that aren’t represented in the English/American alphabet, it’s spelled at least as many different ways as there are days (eight) of Hannuka.

Being pantheistic and pan-alphabetistic, I use all the spellings. So no, my various spellings of Chanukah are not typos.

Joining me to celebrate the Festival of Lights live on The Dr. Susan Block Show at the little Love Synagogue of the Bonobo Way in the village of Bonoboville are the elegant and fabulous Madame DeSade Fatale, the adorable Violet Coxxx and my sexy, funny assistant Sunshine McWane.

Photo 1: Selfie.  Photos 2-4: Jux Lii.

What an intimate, erotic gathering!

The Miracle of Hanuka

There’s the tree, the presents, the sleigh bells ringing and the imperative to “be with family,” but essentially Christmas revolves upon the miracle of the virgin birth.

Likewise, there’s a pretty impressive, though utterly unproven miracle at the center of the Jewish winter festival.

The Miracle of Hanukkah is the “everlasting light,” the sacred oil lamp of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. The lamp had only enough oil to burn for 24 hours, yet it miraculously lasted eight days, enough time for the Maccabees, the heroes of Hanukkah, to defeat their so-called “enemies” in battle (though they soon lost the war and the Temple) and obtain fresh oil to replenish the eternal flame.

The Everlasting Light is a Pyrophiliac’s Delight. Photo: Jux Lii

That is why we light eight candles, plus one for good luck, aka the shamus or “slave candle,” the purpose of which is to light the other candles.

The live Saturday night broadcast marks the sixth night of Hanukkah, which means we’re supposed to light six candles.

However, I’ve always been more for the spirit than the letter of the law and, being a bit of a pyrophiliac, I love the look and feel of a fully-lit menorah.

We light all eight candles, plus the shamus, on three different menorahs for a total of 27 candles. Photo: Sunshine McWane

So we light all eight plus one… on three different menorahs, making a total of 27 candles, an auspicious number considering Capt’n Max and I have been married 27 years.

What a dazzling display of fire in the darkness of the Solstice!

But here in Bonoboville, we don’t just light the Chanuka candles; irreverent boho-bonobos that we are, we also drip the melting candlewax onto the beautiful buns, bared breasts and other body parts of our sexy guests.

Hanukkah Hot Waxing. Photo: Tony Ponce

That’s why we call it Hot Wax Hanuka.

Madame DeSade Fatale

In the past, we’ve had some fairly huge Hanukkah party shows. Check out Hanukkah Girls Gone Wild (2010), Massive Musical Orgy of Love, Lights & the Bill of Rights (2012), Hot Wax Chanuka in Bonoboville (2015), Xmas Eve Confessions with Hanuka Hot Wax (2016), Hot Wax Hanukkah & the Alabama Miracle (2017) and Squirting Hot Wax Hanukkah (2018), to name a few.

Special guests for Hanuka 2019: Madame DeSade and Violet Coxxx. Photo: Bianca

Now that we’re broadcasting smaller, more intimate, in-depth shows, we can get to know our guests a little better.

This cozy little Hanukkah celebration features two of our favorite guests in 2019.

Madame DeSade Fatale. Photo: Bianca

First on the couch is Madame DeSade Fatale, her SUZY award winning performance featured in the latest Speakeasy Journal: Spank ‘n’ Art.

Madame DeSade’s Twitter bio calls her a “Jewish Queer Domina.” When I ask why she so publicly proclaims her Jewishness, she replies that she does it, in part, to help her submissive clients to better service her.

Photo 1: Tony Ponce.  Photos 2-5: Jux Lii

She calls herself a “BDSM & Fetish Educator,” but it sounds like she also educates her clients in on what’s “kosher” in Jewish culture and history.

For instance, when I mention that wearing the $$ sign sunglasses that Capt’n Max gave me for Hanuka along with my Orthodox Jewish shtreimel-like hat and a tallith (prayer shawl), might give a bad Shylock-type impression (I might as well wear a sign that says “It’s All About the Benjamins), Madame DeSade adds that historically, “money-lending” was common among European Jews because Christians were not allowed to practice “usury” (lending money with interest).

Hanuka Gelt Glassses. Photo: Bianca

Since the laws did not permit Jews to own farm land, work for the government or enter other fields of labor, that essentially forced Jewish people of some means to become money-lenders and eventually bankers, some of whom, like the Rothschilds, became enormously wealthy.

Though the evolution (devolution?) of modern, billionaire-driven capitalism takes money-worship to levels far beyond the most avaricious dreams of those Jewish bankers.

Madame DeSade cracks up over My “LOX et VERITAS” Hanuka panties. Photo: Jux Lii

I’m also wearing my “Lox et Veritas” thong (a Semitic play on my alma mater’s motto “Lux et Veritas”). blue stockings and heels, and a Star of David woven for me from Jailhouse Blues, the blue and white threads of prison uniforms.

It’s one of my prize possessions, made for me by a Dr. Susan Block Show fan who happened to be an inmate at LA’s infamous Twin Towers Jail (but that’s another tale).

Showing off my Star of David woven for me from the blue and white threads of prison uniforms by a fan of the show who happened to be incarcerated in Twin Towers. Photo: Bianca

I wear it on most Jewish holidays as a reminder of all the people unfairly incarcerated in the American Prison-Industrial Complex.

Back to Madame DeSade whose mother is Jewish, though her father and stepfather are Christian.

Photos 2, 3, 4: Tony Ponce.  Photo 2: Jux Lii

Technically, since Judaism is based on the mother’s religion and Christianity is based on the father’s, she is both, and she celebrates the holidays of both religions.

She knows her way around a Christmas tree as well as a Chanuka menorah.

In fact, she attended a Hanukah party the night before the show, and she has a special appreciation for Judaism that is fascinating and captivating for such a kinky dominatrix.

Then again, most Jewish holidays are about suffering and struggle, so why not engage a Jewish Domme to help you get the most eroticism and spirituality from your pain?

Sailor Violet Coxxx

Did I mention that all four of us are wearing different shades of blue?

All of us are in blue–even the bonobo plushie grabbing my thigh! Photo: Bianca

In Judaism, blue is considered the color of divinity because the sky is blue.

Well, we all do look divine in our different sartorial expressions of Jew blue.

Sailor Girl Violet Coxxx. Photo: Jux Lii

In her fourth exciting appearance on DrSuzy.Tv, Violet Coxxx is looking especially adorable with sky blue hair and sporting a navy blue and white sailor suit.

She’s proud to show off her shiny gold 2019 GasMaskGirl award, and we’re delighted that she met GasMaskGirl through her appearances on The Dr. Susan Block Show.  

Violet shows her GasMaskGirl award and Sunshine shows her SUZY award. Photo: Tony Ponce

We love to bring kinksters together for greater collaborations and adventures in kink pleasure.

Violet was brought up in a Church of “all religions,” though she’s never in her life been to a traditional Hanukkah celebration.

Not that this is a traditional Hanukkah celebration.

But considering how sexy Violet is—her Twitter bio calls her “100% nympho… kinky & sweet”—it’s fitting that her first Chanukkah should be a kink-filled one.  

Violet in the candlelight. Photo: Tony Ponce

Go bonobos for sexxxy Violet Coxxx!

The Power of Prayer & the Glory of Fire

As Madame DeSade and I light the candles, I recite the Hebrew prayer or bracha:

Baruch Atah Adonai – Elohenu Melach Ha Olam – Asher Kid’shan Mimitzvotav – Vitzi Vanu L’hadleek Nair -Shel Hanukkah

Amen and Awomen!

Singing the Bracha and Lighting the Candles with Madame DeSade. Photo: Jux Lii

I don’t believe in the power of prayer; there was a study that when people prayed for heart patients they did not know, those patients were actually less likely to get well than those who had no one praying for them.

But I believe in the power of music, especially the music of your childhood. These prayers are the music of my childhood, so they carry a special meaning for me.

Also, I believe that prayer has the power to benefit the person doing the praying, even if prayer has no scientifically objective effect, or maybe even a negative effect (as that study shows, people who are told that a whole congregation is praying for them might feel that means they must be really sick, which could make them feel even worse), and my off-key crooning of the sacred melodies does make me feel good, even if it hurts the ears of others.

Some fellow Jews might recognize these Hebrew entreaties as the blessings of the holiday.

Others might think I sound like a terrorist preparing to commit an atrocity.

Part of my pleasure in singing these prayers is because I learned them when I was young, so singing them makes me feel young.

Strike up the Bracha. Photo: Jux Lii

Also, it‘s part of my identity politics.  Sometimes I forget I’m not white, because I can “pass”—at a quick glance. But then I remember: if the Trumpus and the Hitler-lovers have their say, I’ll be forced to move to Israel or maybe they’ll bake me into a delicious gingerbread cookie.

Trumpus Antiochus

Though I don’t pray, I do thank God and the Gods for our many blessings in Bonoboville. Judaism is considered the birthplace of monotheism, yet the Hebrew word Elohim, often used to mean “God” in the Bible, actually means “Gods.” Some scholars think it refers to an early Hebraic pantheon of gods and goddesses, rather like the ancient Greek pantheon, which were later subsumed into one god named “God.”

Spanking IMPOTUS in his Hitler ‘stach for Hanuka. Photo: Bianca

So I thank the Hebrew God, the Greek Goddess, the Baby Jesus, Mother Mary, and any other gods and angels who might have been involved, for granting us, the petrified snowflake liberal artists of America, the miracle of Impeachment.

No, it wasn’t a perfect bipartisan impeachment, but at least it got the job done of impeaching the Peach-Fuzzy-Haired Plutocrat.

May it deliver us from evil, specifically the Evil Trumpus who, like Antiochus the Villain of Hanukkah, whips and mortifies us daily with nasty tweets, fascist rallies, Nazi-ish nationalism, vicious racism, ecocidal edicts, his awful emoluments-soaked family and, of course, those embarrassing Quid Pro Quos.

Now, with your blessings, Oh Mighty Elohim, this Abominable Orangutan (with apologies to orangutans) has been reduced from POTUS (President of the United States) to IMPOTUS (Impeached President of the United States).

I still have hope he will be convicted and take Mike Panty-Boy Pence with him. Though I was hoping for that same thing last year, and it didn’t happen. Frankly and disturbingly, I don’t see how it will happen in 2020, but that’s the nature of miracles, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, and maybe a few Republican Senators will have an epiphany and convict the MF we just impeached.

Of course, as Capt’n Max points out, the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” that Hillary warned us about during Bills’ impeachment, is busy stealing us blind as the Trumpus clowns around, distracting those who love and hate him with such outrageous Trumposities that we almost literally can’t look away.

Capt’n Max talks about the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. Photo: Jux Lii

The Miracle of Hanukkah 2019 in Bonoboville is that our kinky little village is thriving in the Trumpocalypse, right in the middle of the anti-sex battlefield.

Happy (Almost) Nude Rear! Photo: Bianca

As deadly battles rage on between the Religious Right and the Sanctimonious Left, we are practicing peace through pleasure, female empowerment and male well-being, teaching others to do the same and having more fun than a barrel of bonobos.

Jewish Does Not Mean Zionist

When I was a kid growing up in suburban Philly, being Jewish meant supporting Israel, aka Zionism. There really wasn’t a choice. If you were Jewish, you identified with Israel as the homeland, a “land without people for a people without land.”

Jewish doesn’t mean Zionist. Photo: Jux Lii

Oddly enough, I didn’t know there were, in fact, people—Palestinian people—living on that little piece of Biblically priceless land long before the Zionists took it by force. Then I visited Israel when I was 16 and, when I saw all the Palestinian people in the streets and deserts of the land, I asked my otherwise sweet counselor who they were. “Arabs,” he spat back at me as though he was naming a virus, not fellow Semitic humans.

Whereupon I got myself a Palestinian boyfriend who took me on a romantic motorcycle ride through the Garden of Gethsemane where he told me about his family having lived in what he called “Palestine” for centuries, in between intense tongue-wrestling sessions that made me wetter than the Nile River.

That’s when I quit being a Zionist.

Art vs Reality. Photo: Jux Lii

Though I’m now an atheist/pantheist/agnostic, I’m still Jewish, though less Zionist than ever. I have friends and family living there, so I don’t hate Israel, but I’m quite critical of Israel’s policies, settlements, bellicose behavior and horrific assaults on Palestinians.

Now Trumpus Antiochus has issued an executive order saying that criticizing or boycotting the state of Israel is anti-Semitic, the aim being to shut down criticism of Israel on college campuses and beyond.

This would make me, a Semite, anti-Semitic.

The order also classifies Jews as a race or Israeli nationality. The word “Semitic” includes Jews and Muslims, as it describes the Hebrew and Arabic languages, not a particular race, nationality or religion.

This new Trumposity is weird and kind of scary, like Nazis making Jews wear stars on their arms.

Though I’m wearing stars and menorahs on my arms on this show.

Semitic as I Wanna Be. Photo: Jux Lii

I guess you could say the difference is consent.

Another Synagogue Attack

Everybody’s favorite scapegoats, Jews are in the news… again.

The attacks are mounting from various anti-Semitic groups and deranged individuals. Photo: Bianca

Many Jews are doing great things: Bernie Sanders, Noam Chomsky (who just turned 91), John Stewart, Norman Lear, Sascha Baron Cohen. But some Jews doing terrible things: Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, Stephen Miller, Bret Stephens, Binyamin Netanyahu, Ben Shapiro, Adam Sandler – Oy! Why is that list longer?

Jews are also being killed—just for being Jews, which has gone on for thousands of years, but the Trumpocalypse has kicked it up a notch.

Bernie is the kind of Jewish guy WE the PEOPLE can get behind: Not Me. US.

Therefore, our Trumpus doll is sporting his Hitler moustache for this show, in keeping with the Semitic holiday theme. Oh, we know he’s no Hitler, of course; he’s just rather Hitleresque (see above).

As I write this, I’m hearing the news of yet another horrific anti-Semitic attack, this one being a machete attack, injuring at least five victims in an Orthodox Jewish synagogue in Monsey, New York, as they gathered together to celebrate the 7^th night of Hanuka just as we were doing.

You could say gun control would have done no good to stop this machete-wielding fiend. Then again, if he’d had a gun, those injured people would be dead.

And certainly, the perpetrator wasn’t deterred by the Trump Antiochus anti-anti-Semitism edict. In fact, maybe it inspired him. Facts are still in question on this story.

Exceptionalizing Jews, or any group of people, whether in a negative or positive light (the Trumpus does both) endangers us.

Exceptionalizing Jews endangers us. Photo: Bianca

As these synagogue attacks mount, I’m particularly drawn to the light of my ancestors, many of whom were massacred in anti-Semitic rampages in Russia and Europe—singled out as “different” as the Trumpus has done with his pro-Israel but very anti-Semitic presidential order.

Thus, in the face of this newish anti-Semitism, emanating from the highest halls of power down to New York, Pittsburgh and Main Street, USA, I continue to light the Hanukkah candles and practice the ancient traditions in my adult life.

Nevertheless, me being me, I do it with a hefty helping of irreverent, erotic and (some might say) “blasphemous” tweaking.

Hanukkah Gambling & Hot Wax Play

Back to our beautiful Chanuka candles burning bright, shedding light in the darkness, warmth in the winter, and hope in desperate times.

Dreidel, Candle Races and other Chanuka Gambling Games. Photo: Bianca

Though most rabbis don’t put it this way, gambling is an important aspect of Hanukkah. The Jewish holiday of Purim also revolves around games of chance, perhaps an acknowledge that, prayer or no prayer, most good and bad fortune comes by the luck of the draw.

On Chanukkah, kids and adults play various games involving spinning a top, aka a dreidel, betting anything from chocolate coins to diamonds, depending how you roll.

We almost play “strip dreidel,” but we get people’s clothes off pretty easily anyway, no game-playing necessary.

Photos 1-4: Jux Lii.  Photos 5-6: Tony Ponce

In my family, the big gambling game (we bet chocolate, not diamonds) was the Hanukkah Candle Race.

As soon as we light the candles, everyone picks the candle that they think will last the longest.  So my guests and a few members of our crew pick their candles in accordance with the Block Family tradition.

The Hanuka Hot-Waxing begins… Photo: Tony Ponce

Hanukkah Hot Wax play was not a Block Family tradition, though I did enjoy playing with the melted candle wax, which my mother, father, grandmother and brother were constantly telling me not to do, both because it was a sacrilege and my attempt at cheating on the Candle Race.

Of course, now that I have my own show, I can play with my wax all I want.

Photos 1-3: Jux Lii.  Photos 4-10: Tony Ponce

And I do so enjoy dripping it on people.

I know it sounds odd, but it feels kind of like a Sunday School project to me.

A very kinky Sunday School project.

Madame DeSade and I will be your Sunday school teachers in today’s Hot Wax Hannuka class. Photo: Jux Lii

Believe it or not, I worked as a Sunday school teacher for Hillel at Yale, before I decided I’d rather teach good sex to consenting adults than perverse religious mythology to innocent children.

Madame DeSade joins me in dripping the Hanukkah Hot Wax on Violet and Sunshine, aka the Hot Wax Hotties.

As she had tweeted earlier, after we light the candles, we “pour them out on the Gentiles.”

With enthusiastic consent, of course.

Madame DeSade graciously brings along doggie peepads for our Gentile “victims” to lie down on as we pour out the hot wax.

She also brings her own hot wax, a special white wax that doesn’t sting when it hits the skin.

Hot Wax Nipple Glaze. Photo: Jux Lii

First our Hot Wax Hotties do it with clothes on for the Facebook and Youtube cameras.

Then they strip down to nothing but skimpy panties.

So we use both Madame DeSade’s easy-to-take wax and my Hanuka candlewax, mixing rivers and bellybutton lakes of waxy pleasure with a few little drops of Chanuka pain.

It’s a very nice mix of hues too, with Madame DeSade’s large expanses of creamy white wax sprinkled with dots of blue and red from the Hannukah candles.

High Priestesses of Hanuka. Photo: Jux Lii

It feels like we are the High Priestesses of Hanuka, consecrating our subjects with our sacred fire.

I also feel like I’m Jackson Pollack.

Time to turn over and get the other side *done*. Photo: Bianca

No, Jackson Pollack wasn’t Jewish, and he wasn’t even Polish, but he married the Jewish artist Lee Krasner. However Trumpus Antiochus might classify him, he was a great artist who pioneered the art of dribbling paint which can be applied to dribbling anything liquid, like wax.

Photos: Jux Lii

The fire is so alluring, the molten wax so sensuous.

The white wax looks a little like dried cum.

White wax or dried cum? Photo: Jux Lii

With the colors, it looks like a confetti-sprinkled glazed donut.

Beautiful.

Happy Hanukkah!

And a Happy Nude Rear.

Happy Nude Rear! Photo: Jux Lii

Yep, we’ve got your very happy nude rears right here.

Waterboarding with Manischewitz

Our next ritual combines Bonoboville Communion and Waterboarding, Bonobo-Style with the Hebrew prayer for the wine, which is, of course, Manischewitz.

Sprinkling the sacred salt on Sunshine’s Altar for Hanukkah Communion. Photo: Jux Lii

What’s a Jewish holiday without the sweet but powerful “spirit” of delicious, cheap, lowbrow and very Jewish Manischewitz kosher red wine?

Waterboarding with the sticky sugary wine of my youth….a real-life miracle!

Well, at least, you could (and I do) convincingly say “it’s a miracle!” after a few shots of Manischewitz.

Baruch ata adonai elohenu melach ha’olam boray p’ree hagofen.

Blessed art thou, O Lord, our god, who brings forth the fruit of the vine.

Singing the Hebrew prayer for the wine as Madame DeSade prepares to get Waterboarded, Bonobo-Style. Photo: Tony Ponce

Yes indeed, love that fruit of the vine.

Please pass the salt!

Waterboarding Madame DeSade. Photo: Bianca

We sprinkle it on the Booby Altars, trying to avoid the wax.

Since Violet’s nipples are coated with wax, we pull down her panties and take Communion off her sexy ass.

Definitely a Happy Nude Rear!

It’s a strange combination, but we lick it up with the peach juice to celebrate Impeachment and remind us that the drive to evict the Trumpus and the whole plutocratic kleptocracy from which his buffoonery distracts us, is far from over.

Sing Hallelujah!

Amen and Awomen.

Photo 1: Tony Ponce. Photos 2-3: Bianca

Not everybody drinks and not everybody strips, but everybody participates somehow or other.

Hot Wax Hanukkah Commedia Erotica Players of Bonoboville. Photo: Jux Lii

It’s a very communal Communion.

Religiosity & Its Discontents

As we talk, I must confess I have mixed feelings about Hanukkah and all religion, especially the major monotheistic faiths which use mythology and fear to try to control our natural, blooming sexuality, denigrating any form of sex that isn’t focused on procreation for the perpetuation and expansion of the religion itself, instead of acknowledging the benefits of sex for recreation as well as procreation, as well as relationships, not to mention peace, health and well-being. 

Standing by my bust, sculpted by Yossi Verdan, an Orthodox Jew from Russia. Photo: Jux Lii

In my sex therapy practice, I treat many victims of religious sexual abuse from all over the world.

This allows me to witness first-hand how authoritarian attempts to control natural human sexuality by the Church, Synagogue, Mosque and Temple lead to tremendous oppression, ignorance, bigotry, misogyny, hypocrisy and misery.

This is why I don’t put much stock in the mythologies or fear-controlling tactics of any religion, including Judaism, the religion of my childhood.

However, since I was raised in a conservative Jewish household that celebrated the Hanukkah Festival of Lights in the shivery darkness of the Winter Solstice, those flickering lights are as much a part of me as my hats, lingerie and Yale degree.

The Hanukkah Story

Since you’ve gotten this far, I may as well tell you the Hanukkah story.

Let me tell you a story…. Photo: Selfie

Unfortunately, it’s not a very sexy story, like Purim, but it is based on some based on some real history (then again… maybe it’s fake news).

In 167 BCE, the occupying Greek king Antiochus IV Epiphanes outlawed the Jewish practice of worshipping only one God. The Greeks thought it was fine for the Jews to worship their Jewish god—sometimes called Yahweh, Jehovah, Adonai (“my master”) or Elohim (which, as you may recall, means “gods”)—but insisted they not neglect the other gods, like Zeus and Aphrodite. 

Jewish Pantheistic Perv with a Purpose. Photo: Jux Lii

The liberal, assimilated Jews accepted this requirement, but the fundamentalist Jews did not—believing zealously in their one God with a capital “G” and one God only.  

And so it came to pass that a fundamentalist Jewish priest named Mattathias and his son Judah Maccabee, the so-called “heroes” of the Hanukkah story, led a guerrilla war against the Greeks and recaptured the temple—thus the Miracle of the Everlasting Light—but then these much-vaunted Hanukkah Heroes soon lost it again. That is, like many military heroes, they won the battle and lost the war.

Grabbing that Everlasting Light. Photo: Jux Lii

Moreover, this wasn’t just a conflict between Jews and Greeks; it was a civil war between intolerant fundamentalist Jews and Hellenized or assimilated Jews. Some say that the glorious Maccabees, the “freedom fighters,” were a kind of Jewish Taliban who would despise and perhaps even attempt to destroy liberal American Jews, and might throw in a little extra torture with their “honor killing” of a brazen heretic like me.

Which just goes to show… One person’s “freedom fighter” is another person’s “terrorist.”

There is righteousness and blame all around in the Hanukkah story, just as there is right now. This is why, though I was raised Jewish, I don’t believe Judaism is the “right” religion as opposed to all the other religions.

I do believe in the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure, female-empowerment and male well-being, a kernel of which exists in all religions for all holidays, including Hanukkah (check out my new DomCon LA the Bonobo Way 2018: the FemDoms of the Wild video for more about this,.

“Not by might and not by power, but by my spirit, sayeth the Lord” is a beautiful bonoboesque prayer attributed to Hebrew Prophet Zechariah recited at Hanukkah.

Also, as you may have noticed, there aren’t any ladies in the Hanukkah Story, another reason it’s not one of my favorite holidays. Actually, there is one horrid, pathetic wretch of a woman, Hannah, who is held up as some sort of heroine, but is really a fundamentalist lunatic who actively encourages her seven sons to defy the Greeks which she knows will get them executed. She watches each of her sons get tortured and killed, one by one, from her adult sons down to her tiny toddler (whom she also encourages to defy Antiochus who really wants to spare the kid), and after all of that, she kills herself. With Hannah as our role model, is there any wonder why Jewish girls are so neurotic? 

I love holidays; actually I love “perverting” holiday rituals in fun, erotic, ironically meaningful ways. After all, in a sexually twisted society such as ours, you often need the friction of naughty in order to feel nice. 

No offense to your religion, but Happy Horny Hanukkah… and get your ass in gear for another HAPPY NUDE REAR.

Happy Nude Rears 1-2: Jux Lii. HNR 3: Bianca.  HNR 4: Tony Ponce

Then, before we can say AWOMEN, this luminous show is out like a candle burned to its smoking hot end.

Speaking of candles, a candle that nobody picks wins the candle race.

The last flickers of Hanukkah 2019. Photo: Jux Lii

For a minute, I try to be like the Trumpus and give credit to Capt’n Max for the winning candle.

Wisely, the people will not allow such nepotistic shenanigans.

I try to give my hubby the winning candle, but the good people of Bonoboville won’t allow such nepotism! If only, things worked so well in Washington! Photo: Selfie

So I distribute the chocolate gelt equally, more or less, each according to their needs.

Then we all chow down on Ana’s amazing Hanuka Burritos, Manischewitz and peaches.

Little Donkeys & Manischewitz for Hanukkah. Photo: Selfie

I also learned that burritos are little donkeys. After all, burro means donkey, so a burrito is a little donkey… but now we’re really mixing our cultures. Though donkeys appear quite a bit in the Bible and represent the Democratic party, the Trumpus is still the biggest jackass.

A few of us hang around the table talking for hours about the sorry state of our union, just like many Hanuka, Xmas and New Year’s gatherings.

Spank in the Nude Rear with the Bonobo Way! Photo: Jux Lii

Well, we can’t solve the world’s problems in one Festival of Lights night.

Whereupon, my Captain and I partake in the ritual of the greatest Mitzvah (good deed) a couple can perform on a festive holiday like Hanukkah, which is (really!) the act of making love.

Pass the Manischewitz!

Spank in the Nude Rear with the Bonobo Way and #Go Bonobos in 2020.

May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.

And may your candle continue to glow.

Amen and Awomen.

Pre-Mitzvah Selfie

© December 28, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.