Hot Wax Hanukkah 2018
Length 02:00:28 Date: Nov. 24th, 2018
As millions of temples, synagogues and households around the world gather around flickering menorahs on the seventh night of the Jewish Festival of Lights, so do we here on DrSuzy.Tv, broadcasting live from the Womb Room sanctuary of the Little Love-Synagogue of the Bonobo Way.
However, we don’t just light the candles; irreverent boho-bonobos that we are, we also drip the melting candlewax on the beautiful buns and bared breasts of some of our sexy guests.
“Hot-Wax Hanukkah” sizzles, squeals, sings the ancient prayers and permeates Bonoboville with warmth, fire, humor, pleasure and just a little sting of pain.
Wild shenanigans ensue, along with sapiosexual conversations, Jewish/Christian/Muslim/Buddhist/Hindu/Pagan interaction, dreidel spinning, candle races, a very sensuous Bonoboville Communion, Waterboarding with Manischewitz and a sparkling explosion of female ejaculation gushing forth as I slap it, like that spring from the rock in the Biblical desert.
It’s Hanukkah Holy Water!
Hallelujah. Amen. And AWOMEN. Whatta show!
The Mueller Miracle
All the winter holidays—Christmas, Krampus, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, Mohammed’s Birthday, Panchat Ganapati, Bodhi Day, the ancient Roman Saturnalia, and I’m sure I’m forgetting some—stem from the natural Winter Solstice.
When the days are shortest and the nights longest, our prehistoric human ancestors celebrated the miracle of life in this season of death with fire to chase away the chill, light to chase away the darkness and lots of red hot sex to chase away the cold, dark winter blues.
Mixing up all three, I envision our bonoboesque ancestors coming together in a lively orgy around a roaring fire, maybe in a cave, on a long dark night in the dead of winter.
In the afterglow, they might tell tales of miracles—the miracle of the Buddha receiving enlightenment on Bodhi Day or the Virgin Birth on Christmas Day. Then there is the mythical miracle of Hanukkah, that story of the “everlasting light,” the sacred oil lamp of the ancient Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. Said to have contained just enough oil to burn for 24 hours, the lamp miraculously lasted for eight days, enough time for the Maccabees, the heroes of the Hanukkah story, to defeat their so-called “enemies” in battle and obtain fresh oil to replenish the eternal flame. This little tale of a light that never fades against all odds is the basis for the eight candles (plus one, the shames or “slave” candle whose “job” is to light the others) of Hanukkah (or, if you prefer, Chanuka; it’s a Hebrew word, so there’s no universally correct English spelling). Though on this night, we only light seven, which is a good thing since one of my old menorahs is missing a candle holder.
Before we light the candles, I take a moment to thank God—the Hebrew God, the Greek Goddess, the Baby Jesus, Mother Mary, as well as all the other gods, goddesses, angels and paralegals that might have been involved—for granting us, the petrified snowflake liberals of America, the miracle of Robert Mueller. Yes indeed, may the great Independent Council in the sky, the Deep State or wherever he is, deliver us from evil, specifically the Evil Trumpus who, like Antiochus the Villain of Hanukkah, whips us daily with nasty tweets, fascist rallies, Nazi-ish nationalism, vicious racism and those pernicious emoluments-marinating children of his, some of whom, I’m embarrassed to say, are Jewish.
Now, with your blessings and court filings, Oh Mighty Mueller, this Abominable Orangutan (with apologies to orangutans) has been reduced from President Trumpus to Individual 1 (who “must be dropping a number 2 in his pants now,” according to Tony Posnanski), and for this we say hallelujah. Amen and AWOMEN.
We hope and pray, with our hands (but not our legs) together, that said Individual 1 will resign peacefully from his stolen nightmare of a Presi-dunce-y, and take Mike Panty-Boy Pence with him, and that we’ll be swearing in President Nancy Pelosi in the New Year.
As a reminder, we put a Hitler mustache on our Trumpus Voodoo Doll, gagged with a penis pacifier whacked with The Bonobo Way, in keeping with the Semitic holiday theme.
Commedia Erotica Cast of Characters
Ever the irreverent Rebbetzin, I open the show in my “Jew blue” bra, a thong emblazoned with “LOX et Veritas” (ie., “Smoked Fish & Truth,” the Yiddishe version of Yale’s “Lux et Veritas” motto), blue thigh highs and high heels, a shtreimel-like hat and a tallith (prayer shawl). Around my neck is a Star of David woven for me from “jailhouse blues” the blue and white threads of prison uniforms—by a Dr. Susan Block Show fan who happened to be an inmate at LA’s infamous Twin Towers Jail (and that’s another tale), which I wear as a reminder of all the people unfairly incarcerated in the American Prison-Industrial Complex.
First in the Womb Room is veteran artist, marvelous Mistress and “Guest Rebbetzin” Sheree Rose. We met Sheree over 25 years ago when she first appeared on DrSuzy.Tv to talk about her BDSM work with the artist Bob Flanagan, but she hasn’t been back in the Womb Room since last Hanukkah, having suffered a heart attack and gall bladder surgery. You wouldn’t know it though; aside from losing a little weight, she looks just the same. Also, she’s happy to announce that a new book about her life, Rated Rx, will be coming out very soon!
Just in time to start the show, in romps sexy porn star/performance artist Juici Jenni. More than a guest on this particular show, Jenni helps me out a bit with this and that, since my kitty-kat show assistant Blossom Green is down-for-the-count with a knock-out flu. Tis the season. Get well soon Blossom!
Gallery of Luzers. Photos: Jux Lii
Having “escaped” the Hasidic sect a few years ago to become an actor, now Luzer is the winner of the “Best Actor” award in two different international film festivals (in Torino, Italy and Amiens, France) for his tour de force performance as a cuckolded Orthodox Jewish husband in the Canadian film “Félix & Meira,” as well as (among many other more mainstream accolades) the coveted SUZY award (for three consecutive years) for “Funniest Fundamentalist Refugee.”
All dressed up in one of his signature Edwardian plaid suits, Luzer “thinks Yiddish” and “dresses British,” politely refusing the shtreimel and tallith I offer him, though Abdullah accepts them joyously.
It’s deliciously disorienting to see a Muslim, albeit a pot-smoking lapsed Muslim, don a streimel and tallith with such enthusiasm. Maybe there’s hope for peace in the Middle East!
PHOTOS: JUX LII
Sheree also puts on a shtreimel, and Jenni wraps her sexy body in a tallith.
Then we light the Hanukkah candles, singing the Hebrew prayers, a little off-key, as per the Block Family tradition:
Baruch Atah Adonai – Elohenu Melach Ha Olam – Asher Kid’shan Mimitzvotav – Vitzi Vanu L’hadleek Nair -Shel Hanukkah
Luzer even does a special Satmar rendition in a fine rabbinical baritone.
It’s really quite melodious, but honestly, I have mixed feelings about Hanukkah as well as all religion, especially the major monotheistic faiths which use mythology and fear to try to control our natural, blooming sexuality, denigrating any form of sex that isn’t focused on procreation for the perpetuation and expansion of the religion itself, instead of acknowledging the benefits of sex for recreation as well as procreation, as well as relationships, not to mention peace, health and well-being.
In my sex therapy practice, I treat many victims of religious sexual abuse from all over the world. This allows me to witness first-hand how authoritarian attempts to control natural human sexuality by the Church, Synagogue, Mosque and Temple lead to tremendous oppression, ignorance, bigotry, misogyny, hypocrisy and misery.
This is why I don’t put much stock in the mythologies or fear-controlling tactics of any religion, including Judaism, the religion of my childhood. However, since I was raised in a conservative Jewish household that celebrated the Hanukkah Festival of Lights in the shivery darkness of the Winter Solstice, those flickering lights are as much a part of me as my hats, lingerie and Yale degree.
In light of the recent Trumped-up, Caravan fear-inspired, anti-Semitic massacre of 11 Jews at the Tree of Life Synagogue, I’m particularly drawn to the flickering embers of my ancestors, some of whom may well have been massacred in similar anti-Semitic rampages in Russia and Europe. Thus, I say the bracha (blessing) and light the Hanukkah candles, albeit with a hefty helping of irreverent, erotic, bonoboesque and (some might say) “blasphemous” tweaking.
Strip Dreidel & Hot Wax
Now we get to the gaming element of Hanukkah, which is actually an old Judaic tradition, one that Abdullah reminds us goes against the Muslim prohibition on gambling. Nevertheless, he gamely spins the dreidel with Luzer. I try to get them to play “Strip Dreidel,” but not one piece of Luzer’s three-piece suit nor Abdullah’s super-Jew cosplay comes off.
In accordance with the Block Family’s favorite Hanukkah betting game, the Hanukkah Candle Race, everybody picks the candle that they think will last the longest.
Then it’s time for Hanukkah Hot Wax! No, this was not a Block Family tradition, though I did enjoy playing with the melted candle wax, which my mother, father, grandmother and brother constantly told me not to do because it was dangerous and sacrilegious, not to mention my attempt at cheating on the Candle Race.
PHOTOS: JUX LII
But I enjoyed the erotic, transgressive feeling of sneaking molten bits of the hot wax from the burning candles and rolling it sensuously between my fingers, and now that I have my own show, I can play with my wax all I want.
Even more fun, I can drip it on other consenting adult humans… like Juici Jenni!
PHOTOS: JUX LII
Dropping to her hands and knees by the flickering menorahs, Jenni offers her beautiful bum to my dribbling phallic candles.
Drip, drip, drip goes the burning hot wax onto her soft flesh and wiggling crack.
“Ooh! Ow! Ohhhh, I like it,” moans, squeals and declares Juici Jenni.
Then she bares her lovely, natural boobs, pulling them out the sides of her conveniently cut outfit.
Whereupon, I drip-drip-drip the Hanukkah candle wax all over her tender titties.
What a vision of waxy feminine beauty!
PHOTOS: JUX LII
Then we invite Abdullah and Luzer to pick the dried wax off of her delectable boobs and (now bare) ass.
Miraculously, they manage to do this without splitting a seam in their pants.
Sheree also picks some wax off of Jenni’s butt with great care and expertise.
Then Abdullah fires up one of his trademark gourmet joints off the Hanukkah menorah, takes a puff and passes it around.
I sing the Hebrew prayer for vegetables, “fruit of the earth,” which strikes me as the closest to weed:
Baruch Atah Adonai – Elohenu Melach Ha Olam – Borai Peree Ha-adamah
Boom Shiva Shambolay Boom!
Throwing in the Hindu smoke prayer as long as we’re praying.
Bonoboville rapper and Green Cross King Ikkor the Wolf takes a toke. I know I’m showing my age when I say this, but I still can’t believe weed is legal, let alone killing it on the stock market.
More Hot Wax, Manischewitz Communion, Luzer & a Muslim Winner
Back from the break, the fabulous Tuesday Conner joins us. Though she is a spoken word poet, she claims not to be able to speak a word, her lovely voice having been wounded by the terrible air quality since the LA wildfires.
PHOTOS: JUX LII
But she’s more than game for receiving the Hanukkah Baptism of Hot Wax with love, almost fully baring her mammoth mammaries, including areola, for my special penis-shaped candle that drips ballet-pink wax that looks rather like frothy male ejaculate, at least to my erotic imagination.
Later I drip hot dark green wax on Tuesday’s voluminous boobs as she grins like a gratified goddess, squealing with delight at each splash of molten wax on her jiggling chest, her beautiful nipples emerging like flowers in the winter sun.
I imagine that if I stood there all night, I could make a wax sculpture of Tuesday’s breasts.
As it is, I create a Jackson Pollock-style speckling of ballet pink and ecosexual green.
What’s Hanukkah without Manischewitz?
Sheree takes Bonoboville Communion from our Altar Girl, Juici Jenni, and a very sensuous woman-girl Communion it is.
Then Sheree leans back in Jenni’s lap, closes her eyes and opens her mouth as I Waterboard her, bonobo-style, with the sticky sweet wine of our youth.
Luzer smokes, and we chat and chant more blues for Jews, everybody’s favorite scapegoats for many millennia.
Some Jews in the News are doing great things, like Noam Chomsky (who just turned 90), Norman Lear (96 and working on a new show with Luzer!) and Sascha Baron Cohen. And some Jews are doing terrible things, like Javanka, Michael Cohen, Stephen Miller, Felix Sater, Binyamin Netanyahu, Adam Sandler—Oy! Why is the bad list longer than the good list? At least Paul Manafort isn’t Jewish, but that’s another story.
Jews are also being killed—just for being Jews, which has gone on for thousands of years, but Trump has kicked it up a notch, blaming the Jewish George Soros for the caravan which flicked a switch in that Pittsburg Synagogue shooters mind and then—whoops, 11 very innocent Jews are dead.
Our talk now turns to dead Jews like Dr. Wilhelm Reich, who believed in the healing power of orgasm and was tormented by Nazis and Americans alike, and Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, whose Institute (with rather eerie similarities to the Block Institute) was at the center of the Roaring Twenties world of Weimar Berlin until the Nazis burned it all down.
I also thank Ashley Judd (who isn’t Jewish, but is a self-described “Christian”) for mentioning bonobos on CNN (at 5:45) talking with Christine Amanpour about the #MeToo movement. Ashley’s proud of having a bonobo on her Xmas card (and so are we!), and she gets it right about bonobos being the most female-empowered apes on earth, though she doesn’t get a chance to say what sex has to do with it (a lot). Unfortunately, Christine doesn’t pick up on the vital bonobo theme in relation to #MeToo, but laughs it off as if it’s all just monkey business and changes the subject.
And no, we don’t eulogize the late President George H.W. Bush on this show. The Old Guard Republican died peacefully this week, even though his and his misbegotten son’s rule brought violent deaths to countless Iraqis, Latin Americans and so many more, and his racist Willie Horton campaign paved the way for the Trumpocalypse, as the Deep State erases all of that disturbing truth with saccharine false memories of “Poppy.”
We do pay tribute to a very different kind of celebrity who was all about peace but was killed by a gun on this day 38 years ago: John Lennon. “Imagine all the people… Sharing all the world… Imagine all the people… Living life in peace…” Less famously, John said, “We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.”
“Not by might and not by power, but by my spirit, sayeth the Lord”
—a Bonoboesque Prayer recited at Hanukkah attributed to Hebrew Prophet Zechariah
The Hanukkah lights flicker and die, leaving just one blue candle on the Aladdin’s lamp menorah, chosen by Abdullah who has to go (celebrate Ramadan?), but not before he manages to knock over Luzer’s beer.
It’s figures that the “klutzy” Muslim guy who’s breaking the Islamic law against gambling would win Bonoboville’s Hanukkah candle race.
Waxing & Squirting for Hanukkah
Not to be outdone, Jenni leans over the edge of the bed, wiggling her skirt up.
She squeals as the green wax drips over the curve of her ass, and no, she’s not wearing panties.
I lick and then slap her wet pussy with my free hand.
Then she squirts!
PHOTOS: JUX LII
And squirts again.
Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, it’s Hanukkah Holy Water!
PHOTOS: RUDDY CHUNG
Then Ikkor comes up and sits on the bed (in the wet spot?).
I invite him to take off his shirt to delight our eyes with his Chippendale-esque torso, and I drip a little hot wax on his muscular shoulder.
Then he sings, “We Are One.” There may be many religions, many cultures, many points of view, but we are one race, the human race, and we are all in this crazy, tempestuous boat together.
We hold up our candles and throw up those “ones” in harmony.
And then, before we can say AWOMEN, this luminous, sparkling, sizzling, wet and wild show is out like a candle burned to its smoking hot end.
The after-party spins on like a dreidel.
Before it’s over, my Captain and I ascend our little stairway to heaven, where he takes off my tallith, and we partake in the ritual of the greatest Mitzvah (good deed) a couple can perform on a festive holiday like Hanukkah, which is (really!) the act of making love.
Pass the Manischewitz!
May your candle continue to glow.
© Dec. 8, 2018. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.
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