Length 01:33:05 Date: June 1st, 2019

by Dr. Susan Block.

The Bonobo Way is on its way back to AASECT, the biggest, most esteemed sex therapy and education conference in the world.

Getting prepped for delivering the Bonobo Way to AASECT 2019 with a little sneak peek dress rehearsal. Photo: Harry Sapien

AASECT 2019 Here We Come!

I’ve been a member of AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists, for over 15 years. Of course, I’m a little different from more conventional sex therapists. I’m a “Therapist Without Borders.” Though I respect AASECT certification, I choose not to get it for myself, so that I can continue conducting sex therapy and education “my way” which, in addition to more conventional sex therapy techniques, includes fantasy roleplay, guided masturbation, phone sex therapy, erotic theater therapy and other perfectly legal, but AASECT-forbidden practices. 

Erotic Theater Therapy with Agwa Masks, Bonobo Mask & Vulva Puppet in Bonoboville. Photo: Bianca (who also took the Journal Cover Photo)

Nevertheless, I had a wonderful time delivering The Bonobo Way of Inclusivity to AASECT 2016 in beautiful San Juan, Puerto Rico, where despite (or maybe because of) my differences, I was warmly welcomed (see video below).

So, I’m happy to be invited back for an (updated) encore. This time, it’ll be The Bonobo Way: An Alternative Great Ape Paradigm to Human Sexuality and Transformational, Healing Pleasure.

Shannon introduces me for the dress rehearsal. Do I look confused or what? For the actual conference, I’ll be introduced by AASECT Chair of the Professional Education and Steering Committee, Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo. Photo: Harry Sapien

I’m especially excited because AASECT 2019 will be held in my hometown of Philadelphia, “City of Brotherly Love” (sounds like Gay Pride!) and hoagies (looks like Gay Pride!).

Philadelphia here I cum (right back where I started… frum?)! Photo: Bianca

I doubt I’ll have time to return to my old haunts, most of which are out in the ‘burbs of Penn Valley, but it’ll be nostalgic for me just to be talking about love, sex and “transformational, healing pleasure” in the place where I first experienced those bonoboësque things (sometimes in the backseat of a car, but hey you’ve got to start somewhere!)—though it would be years after I left Philly before I learned about bonobos.

Pretending My Banana is a Hoagie. Photo: Bianca

Each of my Bonobo Way talks is a little different, so I always use the live broadcast before the event as a “rehearsal” for the talk. So, watching this show gives you a “sneak peek” into what I’ll be doing in Philly.

PHOTO 1: HARRY SAPIEN.  PHOTOS 2-3: BIANCA

Since I’ll be out-of-town, plus AASECT is a lot stricter about who attends than DomCon, aside from Capt’n Max, I won’t be accompanied by my amazing Bonoboville crew nor my fabulous Commedia Erotica players.

So, it’s a no-frills presentation: just me talking about bonobos. Hopefully, “just me” is compelling enough to keep your attention for an hour.

Just Me talking Bonobos. Photo: Harry Sapien. Bonobo photo: Dr. Frans de Waal

I’m not even wearing sexy latex. AASECT is more of a comfy cotton crowd, so I’m just in a cotton tank top—emblazoned with kissing bonobos—and a skirt (a few inches longer than usual)… plus my rainbow pride high heels.

Kicking Up My Heels for Gay Pride. Photo: Harry Sapien

Happy Gay Pride Month, Brothers and Sisters!

Pride: Gay the Bonobo Way

Bonobos are gay (in a way), and that’s okay! I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again:  Gay Pride could use a mascot, and what better mascot than the bonobo? For millennia, major religious groups, politicians and other so-called authorities have railed against homosexuality and bisexuality, deeming it ‘unnatural’ and dangerous to society. Gay Pride season is a time to acknowledge that same-gender sexual relations are not a decadent, peculiarly human perversion of nature, but natural and even socially beneficial.

Showing off my rainbow panties for Pride Month. Photo: Harry Sapien

Many other nonhuman animals enjoy ‘gay sex,’ including swans, penguins, lions (meaning that the “kings” of the jungle are sometimes actually Queens), bed bugs (so a lot more gay sex is happening in Bible-Thumping marital beds than they want to admit) and dolphins. Yes, Flipper was gay, and that’s okay.

Dolphins are cool and very smart, but bonobo apes are closest to human apes (yes, we are apes), over 98% genetically similar to us. Bonobos have a lot of sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions, including face-to-face, and much of it is same-gender sex, maybe even more than with the opposite gender. Bonobos show us how natural, normal, healthful, viable and valuable same-sex relations can be for apes like us, not just for the immediate participants, but for the community as a whole, nurturing the ecosexual health of the “tribe.” 

Bonobo Sutra of Rainbow Pride (and yes, the back of the high heel makes a good sex toy). Photo: Selfie

Virtually all female bonobos enjoy “lesbian” relations, performing what primatologists call “genito-genital” or “GG” rubbing, rapidly swishing their swollen pink vulvas against each other, often resulting in profound orgasms. The native Bongandu people call this primal dance “hoka-hoka” which sounds like a bonobo tango, and that’s just what it looks like, only it’s rapid vulva-to-vulva rather than slow cheek-to-cheek. And these “hot bi girls” of the Great Ape World aren’t just “gay for pay.” Among bonobos, girl-girl sex is at least as passionate as boy-girl. Hoka-hoka lubricates life in Bonoboville, shaping politics along with orgasms, creating a sexy sense of female solidarity that empowers the bonobo gals in the community, helping them to stick together to keep the rape rate down and assure that the ladies get first dibs on food and other goodies.

Bonobo males also have frequent same-sex relations. They tend to resolve conflict by literally “turning the other cheek” (butt-rubbing) or with testicle play, kissing, hugging and “penis-fencing,” channeling their natural, testosterone-fueled aggression into erotic, non-violent activity. Within this intimate male-male communion lies one of the reasons that no bonobo has ever been seen killing another bonobo in the wild or captivity. Unlike common chimps who do kill each other and wage territorial wars, bonobos make peace through pleasure.

Double Rainbow Pride Selfie

Of course, the bisexual nature of bonobos doesn’t exactly parallel human bisexuality or queer inclinations. Regardless of the differences, witnessing the fluid sexuality of bonobos helps gay, bi, transgender and other LGBTQ folks embrace their sexuality. Moreover, gay sexual activity is key to keeping the peace in Bonoboville. That is, when male bonobos engage in penis fencing and other erotic interactions, they’re less likely to kill one another. And when the females do the hoka-hoka, they’re more apt to look out for each other.

Simply watching bonobos shows us that LGBTQ sexual diversity is utterly organic and natural, adding to the richness of our individual lives and the ecology of our society. It may even be the key to peace on Earth. The bonobos show us the way. They represent a peaceful, bisexual—or even more precisely “pansexual” (bonobos’ Latin name being Pan paniscus)—Great Ape paradigm for humanity. That’s why Gay Pride should adopt the bonobo as a mascot, and help to save the real, highly endangered bonobos from extinction.

Rush Limp Balls Cries “Uncle” to My ReBUTTal

Before I rehearse for AASECT, I touch upon some breaking Bonoboville news with my executive producer, chief camera man and husband of 27 years, Capt’n Max, and my bright and beautiful editorial assistant, Shannon Sweet, looking fierce and fiery in a fire-engine red lace, off-the-shoulder frock while fielding comments on Facebook Live.

PHOTO 1: HARRY SAPIEN.  PHOTOS 2-4: BIANCA.  PHOTO 5: SELFIE

Later, Ana joins the cast, sporting fabulous Gay Pride peddle-pusher pants and a fashionable DrSusanBlock.Tv Tee.

Ana shows off her pride. Photo: Bianca

After last Saturday’s amazing show putting the King of Creeps Rush Limp Balls (thanks for the nickname, Michael Eric) in his place for vainly attempting to mock me and Post-Trump Sex Disorder—despite agreeing with me that this form of PTSD is real and then using me to sell his Limp-Balled fascist-lite newsletter—took down the whole episode from YouTube!

I don’t know why he did this exactly, but it certainly appears he cried “Uncle!” to our excellent reBUTTtal on last week’s show.

Last Saturday’s ReBUTTal kicked Rush Limp Balls off of YouTube (well, he kicked himself off in self-mortification)! Photo: Unscene Abe

Good thing we recorded the whole thing before he took it down! Watch it now on DrSuzy.Tv or Facebook.

Keeping Presidunce tRump, sitting on a Jeffrey Vallance art pee pad in my Mom’s Eames chair, under gag order with a banana so he won’t infect Bonoboville with Post-Trump Sex Disorder. Photo: Bianca

Read more about Post-Trump Sex Disorder in Counterpunch, Salon, Cosmo and drsusanblock.com

Sex in the Pews

Sex in the Pews hosts Glenn Klein and Owen Pratt did a divine interview with me about sex and religion, Ethical Hedonism, the debatable “virginity” of Jesus (aka Yehoshua), the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God and Greco-Roman Gods, bonobos, The Bonobo Way, Ecosexuality, outercourse, first-time sex at Camp Ramah (with my first real boyfriend who became a Lubavitcher Rabbi), male and female circumcision (I’m not in favor of either when performed on infants or children), female orgasm and sex education, treatment for victims of religious sexual abuse and much more. The only thing we didn’t really talk about was actually having “sex in the pews.” I didn’t do that, though I did do some torrid hand-holding and smoked my first joint in the Bible closet with a Hebrew school classmate named Buzz.

Recounting My Revelations on “Sex in the Pews.” Photo: Bianca

Thank you Steve Karras for playing Shadchan (Yiddish for “matchmaker”) and introducing us.

Go Bonobos for freedom of religion, freedom from religion and great God-crying sex! Amen and Awomen.

Speaking of freedom, Julian Assange and Chelsea Manning are both still in prison for exercising freedom of speech and freedom of the press. Assange is now in the Bellmarsh Prison hospital. I keep fantasizing about his lover and fierce advocate, Pamela Anderson, dressing up as a nurse/angel and coming in to heal him and spirit him out of that awful place.

Julian and Pamela: Freedom Lovers

But seriously, it’s bad. Life-threatening for Assange, and terrible for journalism (what’s left of it). Free Julian and Chelsea! Props to Pamela! Amen and Awomen.

Two Callers: Singing Chris G. & Foot Fetish John

Just before I’m about to rehearse, a call comes in… and then another! See, when we beg for calls, they never come. When we’re too busy to take calls, the phone rings and rings.

Ring Ring! Call Me & Talk Free (Most) Saturday Nights 10:30pm – Midnight PST: 626-461-5960 or 1-866-289-7068. Don’t be late! Photo: Bianca

Our first caller is three-time SUZY award winner Chris Gagliardi of New Jersey who brings us up-to-date on his college studies, taking care of his sick mom (get well soon, Mrs. Gagliardi!), his political and autism-awareness activism, as well as his recent singing recital where he sang ABBA’s “Thank You for the Music.”

Chris G gives a speech… or maybe he’s singing.

I coax him into singing a few bars. Not that I’ve ever been *into* ABBA, but Shannon, a walking, talking encyclopedia of music of all kinds, is all about it!

Presenting Musicologist Shannon Sweet. Photo: Harry Sapien

It must be Jersey (Joisey?) night in Bonoboville because our next caller is also from the great Garden State.

PHOTOS: HARRY SAPIEN. 

“John” is a self-described foot fetishist who enjoys toe-sucking and foot play of all kinds with, of all people, his own wife! And yes, he even rubs her toes before sucking them.

Stripping off my shoe and stocking for Foot Fetish John. Photo: Harry Sapien

Wow, what a well-adjusted foot fetishist!

Just for that, I take off one rainbow high heel and stocking and wiggle my rainbow-pedicured toes in approval.

I even bare my sole for John.

Baring My Soul as Shannon wiggles her toes in her high-heeled sandals. Photo: Bianca

 Shannon’s pretty unpedicured toes are already on display in her high-heeled sandals.

In Foot Fetish Therapy mode, trying to help John figure out the origins of his desire. Photo: Harry Sapien

John asks me if I can help him figure out where his foot fetish “comes from.” This turns out to be incredibly easy. I ask him if he remembers when he first started getting interested in female feet… was it his mom’s feet? His neighbor’s? A babysitter’s?

Shannon shows off the soles of her sandals. Photo: Bianca

My question immediately triggers John’s memory of his older sisters teasing and playfully dominating him with their bare feet when he was a little boy. Though no sex was involved (thankfully), their foot-teasing did plant a seed of foot fetishism within him that grew as he grew older.

If only all sex therapy was as easy as it is with John!

Happy Birthday, Abe & Marilyn!

After my AASECT rehearsal (which Capt’n Max says goes really well, and his opinion is my main concern, plus Shannon laughs at most of my jokes, even though she’s seen or heard them all before)…

Shannon dutifully, or genuinely (who cares–it sounds good!), laughs at most of my jokes while everyone else films me in stony (or maybe stoned) silence. Photo: Harry Sapien

…we celebrate the 27^th birthday of Unscene Abe!

Abe starts celebrating in the Bonoboville Commissary at the stroke of midnight June 1st. Several other Bonobo Sapiens are celebrating with him but were not camera-ready.

Actually, we started celebrating Abe’s birthday the night before with champagne and smokables, but now we have cake!

Happy Birthday, Marilyn Monroe! “Marilyn” is my middle name (my Dad loved MM, but Mom wouldn’t allow my first name to be that of the world’s most notorious sexpot, so they settled on it being in the middle). and Marilyn is Bonoboville’s Patron Saint. Photo: Bianca

It’s also the birthday of Marilyn Monroe, who would be 93 if she were alive.

PHOTOS: BIANCA

So it’s fitting that Abe’s chocolate cake has a sexy little doll perched in the middle of the strawberries and cream who looks a bit like Marilyn.

We sing “Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday, Mr. Technical Director… Happy Birthday to You!”–Marilyn-Style as Abe films his cake… or himself. Photo: Harry Sapien

To make her Facebook-friendly, Ana puts little chocolate and vanilla “pasties” on her nipples.

Birthday Speech! Photo: Harry Sapien

We also realize that Abe, my Gemini brother, is as old as our marriage, since we were married and he was born in 1992.

PHOTOS 1-2: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 3-4: HAPPY SAPIEN

I feel like 27 is a lucky number, but not everybody feels that way, and hopefully neither Abe nor our marriage will join the dreaded 27 Club anytime this year.

PHOTOS 1, 6, 8: BIANCA.  PHOTOS 2, 3, 4, 5, 7: HARRY SAPIEN

Unscene Abe is very much seen in this show and even gives a short birthday speech: “I feel like I’m still young, but old enough… to know better.”

Then we all sing, in our breathiest Marilyn voices, “Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday, Mr. Technical Director… Happy Birthday to you…” just like MM sang to “Mr. President” John Kennedy back in 1962.

Mask Party for Marilyn & Abe. Photo: Harry Sapien

The partying continues after the live broadcast with more cake, strawberries, champagne and Agwa mask-wearing.

Happy Gemini Birthday, Unscene Abe & Marilyn Monroe! Photo: Harry Sapien

Then we watch Pink Floyd’s amazing animated Flower Sex scene in The Wall.

What an aphrodisiac!

And though there’s still no big bacchanalian orgies in the new Bonoboville (well, not yet!), the Captain and I once again conquer Post-Trump Sex Disorder, orgasming our creaky, sneezy, but-not-yet-dead way into dreamland.

In the Lap of Love. Photo: Selfie

Next stop: AASECT in Philly!

Meantime, getcher brand spanking NEW Speakeasy Journal: SPANK ‘n’ ART, censored by Amazon, but now available for YOU.

SPANK ‘n’ ART Speakeasy Journal on sale now! Photo: Selfie

© June 1, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.