Spearmint Rhino Royalty
Length 1:48:09 Date: June 6, 2015
By Dr. Susan Block
Forget Christian Grey in 50 Shades—he’s just a fantasy and a badly written one at that. My first featured guest lives a life that others only fantasize about, but John Gray is a very real “Mr. Gray,” as well as the founder, prime mover, shaker and CEO of the largest, most luxurious and highly-rated chain of “gentlemen’s clubs” in the world—now boasting 74 locations and counting—the elegant, upscale, naughty-naughty but very nice and ultra-successful Spearmint Rhino.
In this fascinating in-depth interview, we discover what makes this real-life “Mr. Gray” tick, how he built his empire, from West Covina rags to Newport Beach riches, with a short stint in the clink (over which he and Capt’n Max bond as if they graduated from the same alma mater). Anyone looking to make big bucks in the erotic entertainment industry should take notes during John’s story of how he’s handled the clubs, the girls, the gangsters, the government, the laws (he recites strip club legalities like a Def Jam Poet), the cars (he drove through the gates of Bonoboville shirtless behind the wheel of his Rolls), the jet, the boat (sold it because it was a “money hole”), the parents, the kids and the man’s own demons, including his OCD, which plagues and yet drives him to create and operate the most spotless, well-organized strip clubs in the world. As a “promiscuous” kid with “alcoholic” parents in a troubled neighborhood, police officers were the closest thing to role models for young Johnny who dreamed of becoming a cop himself one day. We’re glad that goal got thwarted, leaving him to do something much more productive with his life: create a multi-national mecca for voyeur/connoisseurs (such as himself) and some of the most gorgeous exhibitionists in the world.
Such as the Rhino King’s dazzling young queen, the vivacious and curvaceous Monica Monroe. This Monroe is a modern, souped-up version of the 1950s original, a living Barbie Doll for the real-life Mr. Gray. And this Barbie’s got brains, putting her college chemistry degree to good use when she tapped into the sexual chemistry she shares with the owner of the Ohio Spearmint Rhino where she happened to work (though they met on Facebook, not at the club): one Mr. John Gray. Now she’s not *just* the Rhino Queen; she’s an international Playboy Playmate and will be the cover girl of the July, 2015 Playboy Magazine in Slovakia.
And oh, those curves! Monica’s not sure of her bra size; unfortunately for Panty Boy who tweets a plaintive plea for her bra, the Monroe boobies are going braless this evening. John, who should know, figures them to be a 36DDD. Our “panel of experts” in the peanut gallery pegs them at 32HHH. Whatever the number or letter, they’re super-duper xtra-large and, with the rest of her being model-slim, her spectacular manicure, as well as her sultry eyes mesmerizing whomever they gaze upon as the best of the Spearmint Rhino gals do, she’s a wonder to behold. She’s also delicious to hold as I discover when she gives me a full body lap dance—ooh la la, très magnifique!
She then reveals that incredible edible bod, and I discover just how edible it is (very!), as we all share a titty-licking round of Bonoboville Communion, along with “Sindy,” whom devoted DrSuzy.Tv viewers might recognize from our DTLA days (first joining us for Masturbation Liberation), now with a sleek new look, long blonde tresses, enhanced boobage and a devoted slave whose back makes a great footrest. Coincidentally, Sindy works part-time in the Vegas Rhino. Or maybe it’s not such a coincidence; ask any sexy girl within Ubering distance of a Spearmint Rhino if she’s ever danced there, and chances are she has. We consider the name, “Spearmint Rhino,” which sounds to me like a big horny animal that just brushed its teeth; but it is actually a quasi-meaningless take-off on the old Peppermint Elephant family restaurant, now a virtual synonym for strip club.
Having returned to the subject of stripping, our attention returns to Monica, who strips off her little red dress. As I point out in defining “Striptease” for the new Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality, the second most commonly desired sex practice, after vaginal intercourse (according to the landmark National Health and Social Life Survey) is watching someone you find attractive take off their clothes. Taking it off takes our breath away. It’s an especially intriguing phenomenon after our trip to the Burlypicks competition to note how the art of striptease has split into the kind of burlesque we saw at Fais Do Do and the style of “stripping” or “exotic dancing” featured in Spearmint Rhino. Each has its own fans and detractors.
And then there’s my Womb Room, which is not a club, but a private broadcast studio, so we can take it up a notch, and we do! That is, Monica does as she bounces onto the Mad X Bike with such Agwa-infused enthusiasm that she falls right off onto her pretty little butt. Undeterred by this little tumble, she scrambles back on and rides that bike like a wild cowgirl. “OMG my asshole is vibrating,” she squeals. Yeeha! Next she straddles the Sybian for the first time, with John manipulating the controls, show producer Elizabeth Aston jumping into her arms and Chelsea Raw helping (both ladies are therapists with the Institute), this Playboy Playmate rides that bucking bronco with orgasmic glee, rocking out in the spirit of the “Spearmint Bonobo.”
John’s self-confessed penchant for voyeurism turns our talk to sperm wars, bonobos, swinging, cuckoldry, lawyers, the meaning of “gay,” Iceland’s anti-stripping law, the question of whether he’d hire Caitlyn Jenner if she applied to work at Spearmint Rhino (“only if she could fool us”), and why the main thing most Rhino customers crave is attention. Then before we know it, we’re onto a rollicking after-party, celebrating our former webmaster Nori Carter’s birthday with a Cold Cock whiskey bottle holding his birthday candles like a drunk’s version of a cake. Also in-studio: Nori’s sexy partner Helen (whom fans will remember from DTLA days) and “Best Actor” Luzer Twersky, struck dumb by a bad case of Hollywood-itus, plus striptease cartoonist and Stripperella artist Anthony Winn with whom I dance to Billie Holliday blues, as Capt’n Max sings along.
The after-party has its own climax, when Juxlii’s friend Crystal Green strips down and rides the Sybian with a Condomania-condom-covered dildonic attachment. At first, it’s “too much,” but as I adjust the controls to match her rhythm, she relaxes and rides that mechanical stallion into an enormous climax that has her shrieking as though electrified and soaking the saran-wrapped machine in amrita, then rolling off and blubbering adorably, “I haven’t had an orgasm like that in 10 years!”
So goes another extraordinary night of sex, fun and wisdom in the Garden of Bonoboville, and just more evidence for why DrSuzy.Tv is the “Greatest Sexuality Show on Earth.” And speaking of Earth… Love the Earth You Make Love On and join us this coming Saturday, June 13th for EcoSex with Dr. SerenaGaia and next Saturday, June 20th, when our featured guest will be Nina Hartley!
© June 7, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.