Abe (insert), Chelsea Raw, Elizabeth Aston, Dr. Susan Block, Penthouse Pet of the Year 2015 Layla Sin, Amanda Blow. Layla rides the Mad X Bike (insert). Main Photo: SarahLynne

Length 1:35:55 Date: May 30, 2015

by Dr. Susan Block

Penthouse Pet of the Year 2015 Layla Sin has it all and makes you want to do it all… with her. As gorgeous as humanly possible, smart (fluent in three languages), funny, soulful, all-natural, generous and free-spirited as a true bonobo, she captures the hearts, minds and gonads of everyone in Bonoboville (especially mine) on this incredible, electric show.

Just recently in Cannes (we love Cannes), where she was crowned Pet of the Year by Penthouse Managing Director Kelly Holland as part of this distinguished “men’s” magazine’s 50^th anniversary gala, Layla is an international ambassador for sexual pleasure. That makes her a sort of Miss America of Erotica, but much more fun and down-to-earth than any plastic beauty pageant queen.

Signing each other’s swag. Photo: SarahLynne

Born in Tel Aviv, Layla served in the military like all young Israelis, but she carried a hypodermic needle instead of a gun, doing her “time” as a nurse where she honed her irresistible bedside manner. Though this show is much more about pleasure than politics, I just have to say: if only Israel could send Layla Sin into Palestine instead of the missiles, we’d have peace in the Middle East. I know it sounds crazy but, hey, nothing else is working, and it’s the Bonobo Way. And with a charmer like Layla, anything’s possible.

As “foreplay,” we spread open Layla’s Penthouses: July/August 2014, January/February 2015 and her Pet of the Year issue for May 2015, featuring a yacht montage showing her sprawled on the poop deck in nothing but a captain’s hat that has Capt’n Max singing “Anchors Aweigh!” Such dazzling displays can be hazardous for guests who barely resemble their airbrushed photos. But Layla is even prettier in person, especially when she strips down to nothing but the jewel in her bellybutton. Her Pet of the Year issue is called “The Pursuit of Perfection,” and from the looks of this heavenly human animal, “perfection” has been pursued, successfully captured and displayed for our enjoyment.

Layla Sin gets a book spanking with “Penthouse Variations on Oral” (Cleis Press). Photo: BW

By the way, “Layla Sin Live” is no longer live, but the archive of this amazing show is now playing—uncut and uncensored—on DrSuzy.Tv.

It’s the last Saturday night of Masturbation Month, and just looking at Layla makes you want to tickle your pickle, beat your bratwurst or polish your pearl to a shine. But Layla is not just centerfold sexy; she’s genuinely sexual. Despite her hectic schedule, she masturbates regularly and has true wanker pride. She’s been self-pleasuring since she was eight years old and stumbled onto her big sister’s secret stash of soft-core porn. Now her favorite solo sex tool is the Hitachi Magic Wand (thanks for the tweet, Panty Boy), so we introduce her to the Mad X Bike, the Ultimate Masturbation Driving Machine with a built-in Hitachi, which she mounts for a wild ride, while slyly slipping her tapered fingers into my panties and between my soaking wet labia, as I try unsuccessfully to hold her microphone. Whoa! Merry (Mutual) Masturbation Month!

Layla Sin receives oral pleasure. Photo: SarahLynne

Besides helping me personally (very personally) to bring the Mmmm Month to a grand climactic finale, Layla is here to represent Penthouse Variations on Oral: Erotic Stories of Going Down, a tasty new collection of erotica from Cleis Press, edited by Barbara Pizio. Suffice it to say that the writing, including yummy stories by Alison Tyler and Chloe Parker, puts 50 Shades to shame. Layla reads a mouth-watering passage from Adam Vane’s “Secret Appetites,” her voice soft and dripping with desire, getting aural about oral… before we get physical.

And do we get very physical, very physical… including all kinds of oral. After a succulent #FreetheNipple “Bonoboville Communion” with Agwa Cocoa Leaf Liqueur, Layla demonstrates the fine art of fellatio, her lips and tongue wrapping around my bubble-gum flavored, Condomania-condom-covered BBC strap-on with such sensual persuasion, I almost wish it was real. Though who needs a dick; Layla is bisexual and also loves eating at the Y, as she demonstrates lustily at the Bonoboville Bar in the after-party.

In the Garden of Bonoboville. Photo: BW

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Does it matter? “Head” is what we’re giving. Going down. Eating out. Food and sex are two of the richest representations of love. Layla makes licking hummus from a cracker (thanks for the tip, Heeb Magazine) look sexy. Even her adorable, pedicured feet look good enough to eat. Which makes this show pretty much All-Layla, through and through. Amanda Blow makes a brief appearance for a Penthouse Variations on Oral book spanking. And our webmaster/engineer Abe gets the sexiest birthday present of his 23 years when he takes Bonoboville Communion with Layla Sin. Our new DrSuzy.Tv producer Elizabeth Aston and Chelsea Raw (both therapists with the Institute) help to keep things smooth and sexy on the set, with Handsome Hollywood Jake holding up the Bar. Snake Eve also enjoys writhing around Layla’s beautiful body—lucky snake!

Lucky us, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, for we are blessed by the Goddess of Sin, Layla Sin. After more kisses, licks and cake, she whooshes off in her Porsche, leaving all of Bonoboville in an afterglow of erotic joy that we take into our respective birthday bashes, marital beds (Layla Sin works better than Cialis!), private parties and dreams.

© May 31, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.