Kink Month Kick-Off with Loni Legend on DrSuzy.Tv
Length 1:36:59 Date: October 3, 2015
Happy Kink Month! Did you know that October is International Kink Month? Neither did I, until yesterday when Hercules Liotard’s post popped up on my timeline. Apparently, just as Good Vibrations declared May to be Masturbation Month, Stockroom has designated October as “Kink Month,” encouraging kinksters in and out of closets around the globe to let their freak flags fly (an aspect of releasing your inner bonobo)! It’s all in the Halloween holiday spirit of revelry, roleplay, masquerade, adventure, playing with fear as an aphrodisiac, and of course, buying lots of kinky paddles, padlocks and piggie hoods from Stockroom.
Our Stockroom handcuffs do look 50 shades of sexy around the nubile wrists of our featured guest, Hustler model and rising adult film starlet Loni Legend, a kinkster with a craving for erotic adventure. Loni is also a certain kind of kinkster’s delight; that is, the kind who enjoys that taboo but popular roleplay known as “age play.” Though 20 years old, little Loni looks younger, making her super-hot right now in the “barely legal” genre, especially when she kicks off her heels and puts her hair in pigtails under her cute sparkly “pussy” ears. Snake Eve just loves slithering around her pert petite boobs.
Old enough to engage in consensual sex and make hardcore porn, Loni is still too young to drink alcohol in California. There’s something seriously funny about the fact that she can’t legally imbibe Ron de Jeremy rum, even though she can go down on the actual Ron Jeremy, as she did so well during her first DrSuzy.Tv appearance on Lupercalia. Just in case you don’t know, Lupercalia, the original Valentine’s Day, is also the original Kink Day, featuring leather whips and floggers thousands of years before Joel “JT” Tucker even thought about stocking his first Stockroom.
Though she can’t take Bonoboville Communion, Loni can and does provide her smooth-shaved “barely legal” vulva as a kinky human altar for her friend and co-star, “nerd porn” performer, Brock Doom, to take communion with a sweet shot of spiced Ron de Jeremy rum. Yum! We last saw Brock in one of his other identities (he has three) at our 22nd Wedding Anniversary, as well as our hair-raising Night of the Masturbating Dead. This time, we discuss and show a trailer for his new, critically acclaimed “nerd porn” noir film, “Mystery Girl,” of which he is both star and auteur.
Joining the Kink Month Kick-Off is ever-delightful Dayton Rains—now a webcam and phone therapist with the Institute—who brings autumn flowers, bonobo cupcakes and a fine cigar to the party. Always generous, with a heart as big as her rack, Dayton teaches Loni a special way to exercise her kegel muscles via “smoking.” Loni is a fast learner, and before we can say “Monica Lewinsky,” her barely-legal but very strong kegels are smoking that cigar like Winston Churchill—if Winston Churchill were to be reincarnated as a 20-year-old vagina.
Special thanks to DrSuzy.Tv show producer Biz Bonobo, a.k.a. Elizabeth Aston, who puffs on the stogie before the Dayton-Loni cigar-challenge smoke-off (it was a tie), and L’erotique who takes sloppy seconds. Then we paint each other’s nipples and clits with hot pink cupcake frosting and lick it up—suhweet!
All revved up, Loni doffs her dress and hops on Nick Salazar’s Mad-X-Bike, the Ultimate Masturbation Driving Machine with a built-in Hitachi and a rather large pink dong rising up from the seat. Sitting all the way down on that thing, little Loni races that bike to a big audible orgasm that has the whole Womb Room reeling in communal ecstasy. Brock is so happy (his pleasure is to give pleasure to others, he says), that he even gamely drops trou and shows us his “drunk dick.” For being so good (check out the way she sucks my big green gourd!), I give naughty little Loni a Bonobo Way book-spanking, and the three of us don Agwa masks to become the Masked Witches of Kink Month, scaring Capt’n Max hanging out at the bar with model-svelte Tammie Parrot masquerading as Venus in Furs.
We wind up the show with a plea to stop the killing—both the civilian mass murders, like the one that killed 10 in Oregon last week, and the military bombings, like the one that destroyed a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan just yesterday, killing 19 staff members and patients. These official and unofficial atrocities have become an all-too-common aspect of the American Way. Instead, let’s take a different road and follow the Bonobo Way, honoring the spirit of Kink Month every day, channeling our kinks into consensual play instead of bombing, beheading and shooting-to-kill our fellow humans.
© October 4, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.