Follow Me on Twitter In this age of instant everything à la mode, I have sprouted wings and a beak.

Yes, I have become a Twitterer. Or am I just a Twit? Whatever I’ve become, I am now way too busy Twittering, or actually, Tweating, to blog. Yes, I confess: I am a Twitter Addict. I can’t stop Tweating about the silliest things from my breakfast to my orgasms, to my pithy political opinions to the twists and turns of Speakeasy intrigues, all in a matter of seconds. Like good satisfying Quickie Sex, with everyone coming in rapid succession. I even love that Twitter limits me to 140 words per Tweat and no photos, restraining me ever-so-gently, like velvet verbal bondage. As those of you who know me know, my blogs tend to be endless, multi-course meals like the 6-hour dinners the French enjoy, peppered with pictures and links. The more I promise myself to keep it short, the longer my bloggamy seems to get, like an overgrown, overindulged, out-of-control problem child. Not that I don’t love this child, my darling bloggamy. Of course, I do, and the fleeting charms of Twitter will never replace the solid substance of a blog that reads like a short story or a photo essay. I hope my bloggamy readers don’t feel too “cuckolded” by my current love affair with Twitter. I may be blogging less and tweating more, but I will never abandon my bloggamy. Though at the moment, I’m flying around with the other birds, so follow me on Twitter! MeLOVErsary Mania The Meloversary was pretty mellow, packed with happy, horny, whacky, weepy, ecstatic emo babes and dudes frolicking among the dildos at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy.

The Melo Crew!

There were a few weirdly extravagant mishaps: a mysteriously cracked windshield, vomit all over the stairwell (which we cleaned up within 24 hours, Mr. Landlord!), poop in the shower (also quickly and thoroughly cleaned and disinfected!) and various individuals of all genders and generations bursting into tears for various reasons, though most were crying tears of emo-joy. There was also a lot of sex, some of which involved me.

But most of the sex was off in the notorious nooks and luxurious crannies of the Speakeasy.

Sister Sara Sioux was the Prom Queen in a gorgeous leopard and lace Sue Wong dress that brought out the wild animal in her, celebrating the 10th anniversary of her teenage brainchild Melodramatic.com.

Sister Teri was the Melo Princess, radiant in a shimmering violet Victorian Bordello-style dress, also by Sue Wong.

Teri’s “husband,” Brother Brandillio was the Manchild Prince of Bandannaland, and Brother Nic was the Speakeasy Knight in Emo Armor.

Sister Heather was dressed up, teased up and powdered up like a party doll.

Gogo girls got the crowd going.

Nieve and Jean Curley kept the Meloers hiphopping.

Luci and Lisa kept the backrooms safe and sound.

I was the Dowager Queen, the elder stateswoman swimming through a roiling sea of 18-28-year-olds.

I was also the Political Candidate.  I’ve noticed that this is something many horny middle-aged women like me seem to do: We run for office.

I happen to be running for Vice President of the United States.

I know, there’s another, far more notorious fem-domme running for Veep, and Governor Sarah Palin and I have more in common than two X chromosomes: We both enjoy lipstick politics and handling phallic objects (in her case a rifle; in mine, a vibrator), and neither of us has had much of any government experience on the national stage at all.

And so what if Sarah Palin can see Russia; I can see Chinatown from my window.

Melodramatic.com creator Sister Sara Sioux and her friend…

Just before the party, British TV interviewed me for Virgin Media and Bravo TV on the joys and agonies of running for the U.S. Vice Presidency, with Frank Moore as my Presidential running mate.

Read Frank’s platform, and vote for us! We are official write-in candidates in a whole bunch of states.

My other role was that of The Disciplinarian.

Though being whipped with my red, black and blue elkskin leather floggeron the Bondage Cross could harldy be considered punishment.

And then there were the rewards, like Agwa…AGWA The Meloversay Libation of the Night was Agwa Coca Leaf Liqueur, made from the same tender coca leaves as ye olde Bolivian Marching Powder.

We toasted Melomania and licked super-tart lime powder off of each other’s fists, butts and nipples, then joyously guzzled this glowing green liquid enlightenment that oughta be illegal, but isn’t.

Why isn’t it? For over 4000 years among the native Andean population the coca leaf has been used for ancient rituals and for everyday gift giving.

Today it is drunk as a tea and chewed for hours by farmers and miners. The result is said to be more of a prolonged caffeine buzz than the crazy superhigh of cocaine.  Actually, coca is not a major component of cocaine as only 0.5% of the alkaloid cocaine is found in coca, and 41 chemicals are needed to extract cocaine from the coca leaf.

DJ Leo 9 sipping AGWA at the Speakeasy

In 1820 the first Bolivian coca leaf liqueur was manufactured by the De Medicis in Bologna, Italy and sold throughout Europe. Rudyard Kipling said the powerful elixir was made “from the clippings and shavings of angel wings.” When cocaine was banned, the liqueur was discontinued, as rudimentary distilling did not remove cocaine. Today bales of Bolivian Coca leaf are shipped under armed guard to Amsterdam where they are distilled and exact maceration and herbal extraction techniques guarantee the removal of the cocaine to standards acceptable to European and US authorities. An extremely distinctive peppery herbal base is then blended with other herbal aphrodisiacs like ginseng and guarana to balance the taste and augment the effect.

Agwa turned into Viagwa as the Melo boys stripped off their shirts…

Agwa turned into Viagwa as the Melo boys stripped off their shirts and strutted like peacocks around the Speakeasy, sometimes tripping over their own tails, but often finding a receptive peahen to stroke their feathers. Triple Squirt Special And speaking of hip delicious cocktails, and just in time for the wet season, check out our discount Triple Squirt Special featuring the three best Female Ejaculation DVDs you’ll find anywhere, one of which (Squirt Salon) is the classic How-To, another (Dommes & Hollie) is perfect for the holidaze & the third (Double-Annie’s Squirting Anniversary) is just plain sexy soaking wet…