Xmas Sexmas Solstice Saturnalia, the Bonobo Way
Length 1:37:29 Date: December 19, 2015
Bonoboville sparkles with the spirit of Xmas, the heat of Sexmas, the wonders of Winter Solstice and the carnivalesque carnalities and unexpected upheavals of Saturnalia, as friends, lovers, sexperts and sexpots gather together to share stimulating ideas, good vibes, deep emotions and delicious bodies, celebrating the erotic fecundity of life in the dead of winter. Not that the chilly season ever gets too harsh in sunny So Cal, but still, Baby It’s Cold Outside!
Silky Gets Empowered
So come into the Womb Room where it’s warm inside… Topping the featured guest list is one of our favorite porn star power couples, Alexandra Silk, a.k.a. “Silky”, perhaps best-known as the Bailiff on Playboy TV’s “Sex Court with Judge Julie,” and her astute and loving Dom/director/hubby of 16 years (married on Y2K!), Luc Wylder. Together, they produce Fallen Angel and “Sex Across America,” work as IPSA-trained sex surrogates and direct their own Adam & Eve series, “Confessions of a Sex Surrogate.” Both are in doctoral programs at one of my alma maters, IASHS, and they’re now developing a Showtime TV special about popular adult stars in recent history. This couple give their lives and even, in a sense, their relationship, to helping others with their sexuality.
And speaking of giving, that’s what Christmas is for (one of many customs borrowed from the Roman Saturnalia), giving gifts of love and money. In appreciation for her trail-blazing career and female-empowering life, so filled with giving and sharing, we give this great “Mother Teresa of Sex” the Bonobo Way Female Empowerment Outreach Project award, made possible by a special gift from Bonobo Way reader, inventor, philanthropist, environmentalist and feminist Mal Jones. We’re not sure who’s happier—Silky to receive it or us to give it, but there’s nothing like an evergreen Ben Franklin to bring out the smiles all around.
Certainly, Mal’s vision is embodied in the Bonobo Way. Bonobo females are respected and empowered by the males and other females far more than in any other great ape culture, and this behavior is intrinsic to the bonobo ability to make peace through pleasure, keeping rape levels low and murder and war nonexistent in their communities. In a way, females “rule” Bonoboville, gently but firmly, keeping the males gentle and firm. Bonobo female solidarity is the key to their power, and sex is the key to their “sisterhood,” which is all the more remarkable since bonobo females in the same tribe aren’t even, for the most part, actual sisters or blood-related. Their intense bonds are forged, in part, through the sexual relations of genito-genital rubbing or, as the Mogandu people call it, hoka-hoka. That’s the Bonobo Way.
And that’s the way we go with most of this show, with the ladies rubbing and kissing under the mistletoe, and the guys enjoying the show and even participating (more about that later)…
Dr. Dawn, Goddess Maya, Kinky Kiki & Elf Dayton
In addition to the wise and adorable Zen, their constant canine companion, Silky and Luc bring along therapeutic clinical sexologist, Dr. Dawn Michaels ACS of the Sexual Health and Wellness Center. We last saw Dr. Dawn on our “Sex Ed in Bed” show back in 2011, and it’s a pleasure to have this pro-sex sexpert back in Bonoboville.
Tis the season to party with old friends and lovers, so we’re also happy to welcome back the sweet, petite and gorgeous Goddess Maya, our former office manager, who is not just here for the holidays but is rejoining the Institute as a phone and webcam therapist. We also have sultry Kiki Daire who has graced our broadcast bed on many a show, from Squirting Summer Sirens to Spoken Word/Pussy Talk, as well as my Birthday Bacchanal and our 21st and 23rd Wedding Anniversaries.
Like the star atop the tree, the glittering Belle of this Sexmas Ball is Dayton Rains—award-winning porn star (up for an AVN fan favorite award for “Hottest Milf”) as well as webcam and phone therapist with the Institute.
Jesus Loves the Sex Workers
Bonoboville Communion: What’s Xmas in Bonoboville without a little holiday cheer? Our Commedia Erotica players, Silky, Kiki, Dayton and Maya all “free the nipple” (and Dr. Dawn frees the cleavage) for Bonoboville Communion, which feels quite Catholic by the Xmas tree, with spiced Ron de Jeremy rum down their throats and Agwa di Bolivia Coca Leaf Liqueur, appropriately Xmas green.
Then, maybe because it’s Sexmas, one of our photographers, L’Erotique, zips down and offers the head of Mr. Happy as an altar for Dayton to take Communion. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and the Ladies…. especially the ladies. Jesus loves the sex workers. Why do you think Santa says “Ho, Ho, Ho” ?
Actually, though many of Jesus’ first and most devoted followers and unsung apostles were prostitutes, Santa’s “Ho, Ho, Ho!” has nothing to do with “hoes” and is probably derivative of Saturn’s “Io, Io, Io!” another element of the pagan Saturnalia.
In between all the merry-making and nipple-freeing amongst the happy ho-ho-hoes, we let fly some substantial Weapons of Mass Discussion. Drop Books Not Bombs! Spread the Love, Not the Napalm.
Maybe our Communion reminds Luc of something that happened to him as a Catholic altar boy—he’s not saying—but he does passionately recommend the film Spotlight, the subject of which is the Roman Catholic Church’s cover-up of a Boston priest’s abuse of numerous altar boys and other God-fearing youngsters. That’s what we call nonconsensual communion, and it leaves more than just a bad taste in your mouth.
Nonetheless, as Capt’n Max, a lapsed Catholic himself, points out, despite or perhaps because of the Church’s atrocious crimes and flagrant hypocrisies, lapsed Catholics often make the best poets… and porn stars. Something about breaking taboos gives them a passion for being naughty.
Aroused by Humiliation?
Dr. Dawn brings up humiliation, leading us to discuss why so many people are aroused by it, despite being extremely, well, humiliated, and sometimes mortified by the fact of that arousal as well as its source. There are many different reasons people are turned on by being humiliated. Some are so ashamed of their sexuality—whether because sex is condemned by their favorite deity or they just think their endowment is insufficient—that they can’t enjoy it. So if a bewitching dominatrix or skilled sex therapist shames them sensuously and theatrically, they don’t have to shame themselves, and thus they’re free to enjoy themselves. In another sense, a humiliatrix is the ultimate Zen master (no offence to Luc’s dog) who destroys the supplicant’s ego, so his spirit (and orgasm) can be freely released.
We also talk about Dr. Dawn’s upcoming new book, My Husband Won’t Have Sex with Me, published by our friends at Simply Sxy (who wrote a great review of The Bonobo Way) and Pillowbook Media in Singapore where, apparently, a lot of tired husbands don’t have sex with their working wives. Another reason is that some husbands won’t have sex with their wives is they would rather receive small penis humiliation than have vanilla sexual intercourse, but they can’t bear to tell their wives or they’ve tried but their horrified wives shut them down. There are many other reasons, and it’s a fascinating subject which we’ll delve into more deeply once the book is released in 2016.
Love & Learn from Your Enemies
Meanwhile, in these times of global turmoil, the “War on Terror” has become “Perma-War,” mass-murder perpetrated by governments, corporations, rag-tag bands and individuals like never before. Many people and most politicians respond to these attacks with hatred and misunderstanding of our fellow humans of “other” colors, from other countries and religions. Trump is only off the deep end of a hate-mongering trend, and many are diving in along with him.
So, in the season of his birth, we might ask, “What would Jesus say?”
In Matthew 5:44, Jesus says “Love thine enemies,” and on DrSuzy.Tv, Luc says “Learn from your enemies…. They can teach you about yourself.” This is true on a micro and macro level. When we quarrel with someone, we often see ourselves as the innocent, aggrieved party, but really, if we can admit our part in this conflict, we are more likely to be able to make peace… perhaps even through pleasure. Similarly, in the big picture, we Westerners are “fighting terrorism,” and the most horrid terrorists on Earth (at the moment) are ISIS. But in a way, ISIS is US. If the U.S., under Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, had not invaded Iraq (for no good reason), executed Saddam and thrown the Sunnis under the Shi’ite bus, ISIS would not exist. And the more we bomb them, the more they can recruit followers to behead, shoot and humiliate us. This is not the arousing kind of humiliation… at least, not for most of us. On the other hand, there’s a fetish for everything, and I have many clients who are aroused by racist, ethnic and religious humiliation. Yes, it’s politically incorrect and pretty offensive to most, but better to beat off to it than commit murder.
Even better to realize that we are just one race, the human race, and we are far more alike than we are different. And yes, instead of spreading hate, let’s share the love and the resources and open our hearts to learning about ourselves from our so-called “enemies,” as well as our friends.
Speaking of friends, Capt’n Max says a few poignant words about his old friend, Brentwood Bla Bla art director Rudy Marinacci, now in hospice. If we prayed, we might say our prayers are with him, but since we don’t pray (at least, not seriously), we just reminisce a bit and send good vibes from Bonoboville for his transition, whenever it might occur.
Birthday Spanking with the Bonobo Way & 10 Hands!
Of course, it’s Jesus’ birthday—or at least the early Catholic Church decided to transform the Saturnalia into a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus. It’s also the birthday of one of our Twitter fans, Panty Boy, who loves Silky, so she sings him a special birthday song. And Goddess Maya just had a birthday, so she climbs on our laps like a naughty little elf and we give that perfect red lace panty-clad ass of hers a Bonobo Way book-spanking she won’t forget until New Year’s.
Sex Toy Stocking Stuffers
So many sex toys, so little time. And so little room in a Xmas stocking! First, there’s Jux Lii’s JuxLeather whips, belts and finger-floggers. Then Dr. Dawn passes around her new Lelo toy that is supposed to simulate cunnilingus, so everyone can feel it wiggle like a tongue… sort of. In any case, it feels nice. Kiki promotes her pocket pussy molded from the real thing, but she doesn’t bring it, so we can’t feel it. Though just about everyone cops a feel of her sizeable natural boobs. As for Silky, her “passion” is to spend her Bonobo Way Female Empowerment Outreach Project award on a fabulous new dildo.
Then we gather around the special Xmas sex toys: the Divine Interventions Naughty Nativity Scene, featuring a beatific little Baby Jesus butt plug (when you insert it, you can rightfully say, “Jesus is in me now!”) with a dreidel in his crib, and three phallic kings, including the devil, a monkey and former President Clinton.
Drama to Nirvana
The celebration continues into Winter Solstice or “Sun Birthday” which was—and is—when the sun, after being at its lowest, is “born again,” as the days begin to get longer. The Roman Saturnalia was a time of upheaval (if for no other reason than to keep warm), when masters served their slaves and business-as-usual was turned on its head. This week in Bonoboville has been a bit like that, with various personal dramas overtaking the “master” business plan.
Needless to say, this show, like so many shows, doesn’t go quite “as planned.” As I’ve said before, the best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. So you’ve got to be flexible and alert, which we are, at least until the Agwa and Ron kick in. Everyone on ship pulls together, under the Captain’s guiding force, and it’s a great Xmas Sexmas show, a Winter Solstice Eve of what could be some cold, dark, rainy-day December blues turned upside-down and spun around like the Baby Jesus’ own dreidel into a red-hot spinning-top joy to the world.
© December 19, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.