Happy Labia Day from Bonoboville!
Length 1:43:15 Date: September 5, 2015
Labor Day becomes “Labia Day” on DrSuzy.Tv, broadcasting live from Bonoboville on the first Saturday night of September. Our first Labia Day, a.k.a., #LabiaDay, celebration features the delightful labia-lapping Dayton Rains showing off her own world-famous labia in multiple positions and configurations, expertly licking my lucky labia and, in that great U.S. presidential intern tradition, smoking a cigar through her labia, as well as instigating a small but sassy Labia Day Movement right here in the Womb Room studio—power to the pornstars!
Back to Labor Day (for just a moment), which I’ve always found to be a bittersweet occasion. Like any public holiday, it’s as good an excuse as any to break out the booze and BBQs, but tragically, it also marks the end of summer vacation, with “labor,” a.k.a., school, work and winter, looming ominously ahead. Moreover, the whole “labor” theme never seems to be a genuine celebration of the people, the real workers, or the 99%. It’s more of a paltry pacifier from the 1%–the owners, Mafioso union bosses, greedy oligarchs and CEOs—one measly Monday where we theoretically don’t have to labor for The Man, but are expected to consume high-calorie processed foods from company stores like Walmart and Target, watch military-style parades and endure boring, hypocritical speeches.
A more apt, authentic date to honor the working classes is May 1, an old pagan holiday of the people, the fairest of whom would dance around lovely phallic Maypoles and lead the occasional Spring uprising against the powers-that-be. More than 80 countries around the world celebrate International Workers’ Day on May 1. The big exception is America. Fearing that commemorating May 1 as Labor Day would stir up socialist sentiments in the wake of Chicago’s Haymarket Massacre and the Pullman Strike, in which U.S. Marshalls killed a number of striking workers, U.S. President Grover Cleveland purposefully ignored “May Day,” choosing the first Monday of September in 1884 as *our* Labor Day.
Not that capitalism takes a holiday, nor does corporate greed. On the contrary, to fully exploit the large numbers of non-laboring laborers (a.k.a., potential customers), “Labor Day” is now a huge retail sale weekend. Thus, ironically, many laborers employed in the retail sector—which makes up over 24% of all U.S. jobs, more than half of whom are filled by women—not only have to labor on Labor Day, but they tend to work longer hours.
With the nasty taste of hypocritical holiday history on our tongues, here in Bonoboville, we decide to read between the lines—and lips—to find a similar, onomatopoetic, but far more suitable and bonoboësque name for this early September day off from the daily grind. Thus Labor Day becomes Labia Day. And a great, new holiday blossoms like a brilliant Georgia O’Keeffe flower in the verdant Garden of Bonoboville, as the village erupts in celebratory appreciation of those ubiquitous, but mysterious and always absolutely fabulous, fleshy doors to female pleasure and wonder. And labor. A lady’s nether lips sometimes do “go into labor,” along with the rest of her reproductive system, in giving birth; other times, they tease, please, open, close, squirt and explode in ecstasy.
Labia Day welcomes back sweet, sexy and slightly daffy Dayton Rains who loves to display her lovely labia, which she shaved bald (without even knowing it was Labia Day), for the sex education and erotic entertainment of all, from workers to out-of-workers, managers to bosses, protestors to police, anarchists to monarchists; all are welcome to look, learn and enjoy Dayton’s luscious labia.
Her exhibition inspires some of the Bonoboville women (including yours truly!) to exhibit our own labia, along with the Wondrous Vulva Puppets, which help to make “Labia Day” a very special revel. Dayton enhances the festivities with several amazing gifts—more incense, carnivalësque feather masks, paintings by her cousin Jason Cairns for the Speakeasy Gallery of Erotic Art (totally in keeping with the Labia Day theme), plus an alcoholic concoction of berries and peaches which we take to calling the “fruits of her labor.” In return, I give her a Bonobo Way book-spanking (and a book). Then, like the pornstar bonobo gal she is, Dayton demonstrates her deep-throating techniques on a ripe but firm banana, using her equally talented oral lips… as the bananas between the legs of all the boys in the Womb Room turn Bonoboville into Bonerville. Then she gives me the gift that keeps on giving, licking my labia (panties down) with holiday cheer and Labia Day-loving gusto.
An irrepressible gift-giver, Dayton also brings a large bottle of yummy passion-fruity Kinky Pink Liqueur, which we incorporate into our traditional titty-licking Bonoboville Communion rites, and she mixes up a tasty holiday libation, fittingly dubbed a “Pink Pussy.”
At this point, Ms. Rain shares the pinkest part of her own pussy, spreading her limber legs, outer and inner labia open wide to receive the hand-cut cigar, as the Bill Clinton dildo looks on with what looks like rapture. Then her yoni actually smokes the cigar (the last guest to do this was Mika Tan on Weimar Love), a trick she proclaims that she hasn’t shared since her stint on Playboy TV. But she does it for us on DrSuzy.Tv because the Womb Room feels like “home.” Assisting her smoke, not just the cigar, but a nice “fattie” is Mènage Á Trois player and Green Cross worker Ikkor the Wolf whom we met on BDSM Theater. Another male Bonobovillian, actor Luzer Twersky, wants to help too, but his hands are full of his new baby-doggie, the adorable Yenta. Whereupon another female, Aaliyah Corsets, joins the party in sexy striped pantyhose and not much else, manipulating the labia of the Vulva Puppet like a genital puppeteer.
Our spontaneous renaming of Labor Day to Labia Day is a kind of kooky but very real kind of female empowerment, a continuation of our “Bonobo Way Female Empowerment Outreach Project” which we began last Saturday on the Supermoon celebration of what the Choctaw tribe calls the Women’s Moon. The source of the project is a generously endowed (in a financial sense) Bonobo Way reader, who has given us a gift that is also an investment in female empowerment, which is an aspect of the Bonobo Way. After all, female empowerment is vital to keeping the peace-through-pleasure in Bonoboville.
Last Saturday, Bonobo Way Outreach honored Dayton, as well as Leilani Lei and Helane. Considering it’s Labor Day weekend, it feels right to gift two of the ladies who labor mightily throughout the week in Bonoboville, as therapists of the Institute, Chelsea Demoiselle and DrSuzy.Tv producer Biz Bonobo.
In keeping with Bonobo Way Outreach ritual, we begin by sharing our passions for sex, love, life, justice, equality, female empowerment and liberation. Of course, my passion is for The Bonobo Way, my 20+ year labor of love, which now seems to be becoming a movement of ethical hedonists, ethical sluts, feminists, sexperts, porn stars, fetishists, polyamorists, BDSM’ers, environmentalists, animal lovers, lovers, peace activists, femdom fans and ecosexuals, in this first Year of the Bonobo.
Both Chelsea and Biz happen to share my passion for bonobos (that’s one reason they’re here!), but they also speak about their other, more personal passions. Chelsea loves set design and raw foods, and Biz (who is first to shout-out the labia/Labor Day connection) wants to help other women through trauma and strife. As they open the “labia” of their envelopes, the congregation cheers Amen and Awomen.
© September 6, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.