25th Wedding Anniversary Silver Bacchanal
Length 01:48:37 Date: April 8, 2017
The 25th wedding anniversary is a big one, awarding the couple a silver “loving cup” in honor of fulfilling their marriage vows for a distinguished number of spins around the sun. Celebrating the 25th feels like gaining admittance into an elite club of veteran couples of all kinds, from reactionaries to revolutionaries, from Mike and Karen Pence (together since 1985) to Keith Richards and Patti Hansen (since 1983) to us (since 1992!); this imaginary couples club is made up of people who really don’t have anything in common at all, except being married more than 25 years.
Or are we more alike than we realize? Mathematically speaking, the number 25 is the smallest square that is also a sum of two squares: 25 = 3² + 4². Maybe that means that any couple who stays married for 25 years is really just a couple of squares.
Marriage is Kinky
A quarter century is a long time, but 25 years flies by like 25 seconds when you’re having fun, pursuing your passions with someone you love, respect and enjoy. Thus, in what feels like the flap of a butterfly’s wings, my darling Capt’n Max and I have gone from waltzing down the wedding aisle to celebrating our silver anniversary of love, lust, kink and marriage, bonobo-style.
I’ve said it before, but passing the 25-year mark gives me the right to say it again: Marriage is inherently kinky. What greater form of consensual bondage is there than the wedding ring? Throughout human history, marital bondage has often been nonconsensual, especially for the wife. Nowadays, modern societies don’t force couples to get married, let alone stay married. All in all, that’s a good thing; there’s no prison worse than a forced, loveless marriage. However, it does mean that fewer couples are joining the “Quarter Century Club.”
So, in a way, being happily married for 25 years makes us not just squares, but relationship dinosaurs. However, we’re also bonobos, which is a bit of a contradiction, since bonobos are not the marrying or monogamous kind. For that matter, neither are humans, nor any of the Great Apes. It isn’t natural for human beings to stay in a romantic pair-bond for many years. It involves work… and a lot of play. Then, with a little luck, it flowers and your whole garden grows… or your jungle flourishes, depending on how wild you are.
One cornerstone of our kinky marriage is that we love to be together. Of course, we go our separate ways sometimes, like when I conduct therapy sessions or he goes shopping. But we’ve probably spent more time together just this past weekend than Melania and the Donald have since that not-so-YUUUGE inauguration.
We just love being together. That doesn’t mean we don’t fight sometimes; like bonobos, we do. We just don’t kill each other, try to do each other harm, or take any prescription drugs in order to put up with each other. Of course, a puff of pot has been known to clear the sinuses of conflict partly because it helps us forget what we were fighting about. However, at the end of the day—pot or not—we’re both about peace through pleasure and loving each other.
Sparkling Silver Temple of Love
But no couple is an island, least of all Max and me. As much as we cherish our two-way intimacy, we need our Bonoboville community to keep us from going insane or letting our monogamy become monotony. One reason our “monogamish” marriage seems to work is that we share our love, lust and romance with our Bonoboville of friends, lovers and interesting strangers.
And that is who surrounds us, with an emphasis on the friends and lovers, for this erotic, inspirational, heartwarming and somewhat silly celebration of one couple’s lasting affection within a community founded upon the principles of love, lust and freedom of expression. Can I get an Amen? Can I get an Awomen? What an amazing congregation of sexual saints and sapiosexual sinners. Crowd size is estimated at five times that of Trump’s inauguration, silver trumping gold in this case.
Since it’s our wedding anniversary, I start the show in my favorite spot, right next to Max, the two of us perched on silver chairs under silver balloons of a “2” and a “5″ that twist themselves into infinity by the end of the show, surrounded by tinsel, glitter, erotic art and sex toys. Kudos to Ana, Miguel and Gypsy for transforming the Womb Room into a sterling silver jewelry box filled with diamonds and dildos. Special thanks to the lovely, artistic Gypsy Bonobo for making my silver and white, butterfly-festooned bonnet look like it could fly me up to Heaven, and to the awesome Mark Brown for styling my hair with just the right bounce to keep me in the clouds. Also cheers to Jux Lii of Jux Leather for making me a silver leather 25th anniversary finger-flogger, which matches my silver and crystal Daniel Mukai “Tree of Life” pendant which matches my “Sign O the Resistance” silver safety pins. Big thanks to everyone in Bonoboville for doing their part to make it a silver spectacular night.
And thanks to all of our amazing guests! The best of the best gather around us, doctors and lawyers to FemDoms and porn stars, showering us with toasts, titties and erotic performance art. Max’s oldest friend in the house, his lawyer Barry Fisher, rocking a sterling head of hair to match the theme, kicks off the toasts, though we really should be toasting him for helping to keep Max out of prison in the 1970s and then for helping me to win a settlement from the LAPD in 2002 for their unconstitutional raid on The Dr. Susan Block Show.
Toasts, Titties & Commedia Erotica
The show goes into “Commedia Erotica” gear as the always delightful human animal trainer, Madame Margherite creates a comic erotic performance art piece in tune with the Commedia dell’Arte tradition, just for the occasion.
There once was a bonobo, who thought that he might be homo, but there were bigots all over the zoo.
He went to Bonoboville, confused he was still, he said Dr. Suzy what shall I do?
Welcome my child, Bonobos are wild! To yourself don’t be untrue!
Go find you some pussy, but the kind with a cookie, know sometimes pussies have penises too…
This liberated Ape, he found his Prime Mate, and they adopted a gay Kangaroo
To Dr. Suzy And Max, because of you we can relax, so sincerely we’re thanking you!
Nice visual touches include showing pictures of Trump during the “bigots” section and holding a hamantaschen over the crotch for the “pussy cookie.”
Meanwhile, we’ve got our own Trump the Dickhead trussed up (courtesy of our old friend Lisa Marie!) in a silver tuxedo, bow tie and a short skirt that barely covers his micro-penis. The fabulous black latex-clad Mistress Porcelain Midnight and others take turns stepping down hard on his furry pink testicles. Throughout the evening, we keep the big adult baby in reparative bondage, finding ways to punish this big Prick with small penis syndrome, now showing a penchant for unconstitutionally shooting off his Tomahawks, just so he and his fair-weather friends in the Defense industry can buy more.
Then we open some presents, both inanimate and human. Rachel and Nori give us a bottle of champagne, and the always-helpful Rhiannon Aarons steps up to the stage to pop the cork. Dramatically removing Rhiannon’s bra, Mistress Porcelain unwraps her like the gift to Bonoboville that she is.
Thus unsheathed, Rhiannon grasps the large bottle between her thighs, her large natural 36 GG’s swinging as she uncorks the bubbly, and it spurts forth frothy white foam like a giant ejaculation. Wow!
Then little Loni Legend twirls forward, strips off her skirt and top, unwrapping her gorgeous, tight little body in nothing but silver pasties and a tiny white g-string. In keeping with the theme, I give her a brand new, even tinier silver g-string into which she changes, giving the Womb Room audience a tantalizing glimpse, between g-strings, of her wondrous vulva.
Ron Jeremy, John Barrymore & more
Last time he was here, the great populist porn icon literally parted the Red Sea of Rhiannon with his staff of Biblical proportions. This time, he grabs the silver Purimspiel dick-on-a-stick, delivers his 25th anniversary greetings, tells a few jokes, plays “Happy Anniversary” (which sounds suspiciously like “Happy Birthday”) on the trusty Hedgehog harmonica, and feels up any female that will allow it.
Then John Barrymore (of the Old Hollywood Barrymores) gives a heartfelt toast of Shakespearean quality, followed by Earth-loving gift of feathers for each of us from Shaminatrix Missy Galore (of the famous Galore Family), originally introduced to us by Chef Be*Live and Daniele Watts, who, I later learn, are watching the show on Facebook Live.
So is George Stiehl of Citizen LA, who had written an excellent article about Bonoboville, “Inside the Pleasure Compound,” after a visit on our 23rd anniversary, and he actually calls the show to wish us a happy 25th.
After the break, Mistress Porcelain shows us how she earned her two 2016 SUZY awards (“Most Creative Domme” and “Best Bonobo Way Book-Spanking), by dominating a very switchy Mistress Erikka, spanking her with a silver dick on a stick (used in last month’s Purimspiel), a JuxLeather belt/slapper and a copy of The Bonobo Way, as well as her own silver-manicured hands.
Following this, Wry Mantione gives us a demo of electrical play with Loni as his subject. I assumed he was going to use a violet wand, but he used a device that allowed the current to flow through his fingers and into Loni. Talk about Magic Fingers! More subtle than some electrical play, this really got Loni going and giggling in ticklish delight.
Then he raps his classic “She Bad” and “We Are One,” as I ride my Captain’s knee with glee, Loni dances and everybody grooves to the magic of the music.
Another gift bag opens up and out comes a pretty little ashtray/candy dish inscribed with the wise words “I Fucking Love You.” from beautiful and brilliant fellow Yale girl, my “alt-cousin,” Vanessa Block.
Then artist and photographer Michael Wisnieux, fashionably attired in a summer kilt, steps forth to deliver an eloquent toast, Kristen Kraves takes off her top, Jacqueline DuMonde plays footsie with her shoes, Sheree Rose delivers another eloquent toast, Ron delivers a few bars of “Freak of the Week” and Tuesday Conner tweaks her signature poem into a special ode to our sterling silver love.
Then out comes the cake, a buttercream red velvet sensation made by Susie Cakes.
“Let Them Eat Susie Cake.” Photos: Abe Bonobo
Also in the house: Mistress Tara Indiana, Tom Quinn, Dr. Judi Blume, Master D, Luzer Twersky, “Sexiest Trump Supporter” 2016 SUZY award winner Tammie Parrott, fellow Yalie and proud graduate of our Y-AnneX program (last seen on our Go Bonobo show), Will Tauxe, Lily Cade in another Dr. Suzy-style hat, Joseph (who gives us a beautiful bitcoin), Clemmy Cockatoo at the bar, Del Rey Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Johnny Jungle, Mars FX and Jacquie Blu.
We wind up with a plea to help save the bonobos, as well as the common chimpanzees who are also highly endangered. Speaking of which, I’m honored to have just received a letter from the Dr. Jane Goodall Institute outreach coordinator, saying that the greatest, most famous living primatologist, Dr. Jane Goodall, “loves” The Bonobo Way. Wow! What a thrill.
And speaking of that, we’ve just posted The Bonobo Way at DomCon LA 2016, and we are “Bound for DomCon 2017 where I will be presenting The Bonobo Way – Part 2 – FemDoms of the Wild at 11:30 am on Saturday, May 20th. Be there!
Because yes, an important component of Pr. Max’s and my 25 years of love and marriage is the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure. Make love not war. Drop bras not bombs! Fire that Tomahawk missile between your legs. It might sound old-school hippie (like us), but the Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure is more relevant than ever with our baboon president pounding his chest and firing Tomahawks, while his wife stays in her golden tower with their son.
The fun dances and twirls on into the after-party as the silver stars twinkle, the lovers kiss and the orgasms explode in celebration of 25 years. Long-term marriage isn’t for everybody. But it works for Max and me. Wild, kinky and pansensual as we are, we’re also very much married, sharing and being “witnesses” to each other’s lives, creating and constantly recreating the romance that just seems to deepen and grow between us as we age. So grateful to everyone—friends, enemies, lovers, collaborators and the rest of the universe—for contributing to our great good fortune and our cause of bonobo love and conservation.
Cheers to another 25!
Thanks to this week’s volunteers and staff: Dr. Block’s Hair by Mark Brown; Camera Operator – Sean Riedy; Photographers – B Joe V., Natural, ; Intern –Maurice Plough; On-Campus Bonobos – Abe Perez, Del Rey, Gypsy Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Jacquie Blu, MarsFX, Johnny Jungle, Clemmy Cockatoo, Ana & Miguel.
© April 9, 2017. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.