24th Wedding Anniversary Bacchanal ♫
Length 1:44:42 Date: April, 9 2016
Just the Tip (for now)…
THANK YOU, Brothers and Sisters of Bonoboville, for giving Capt’n Max and me such a fantastic, orgiastic, bacchanalian and bonoboësque 24th wedding anniversary send-off from such a pleasure-packed, endorphin-high Womb Room! Thank you for wearing lavender (especially by accident) in observance of the 24th. Thank you for playing your mellifluous musical instruments, strumming our strings, tickling our keys and dancing through our garden naked and free.
I would—and will—write more about this wonder-filled live show (now playing above) and after-party, thanking specific amazing human bonobos, the stars, guests, crew friends and lovers who made this celebration of long-term love, lust and marriage, bonobo-style, so delectable, erotic, comic, musical and inspirational. I’ll also post a lot more photos. But right now, I’m busy packing my g-strings and sailing caps for our actual anniversary day (tomorrow) when we switch gears from Bonoboville to San Diego, as the Captain and I take the land yacht (with Dayton Rains at the wheel) in a southerly direction to check out some actual yachts, and see some actual bonobos at the San Diego Zoo! Then we’ll go back to the hotel to have wild 24th wedding anniversary sex. Nothing like seeing bonobos to make you want to go bonobos in bed, whatever the day. Back soon.
© April 11, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.
All the Way In…
So… um… where was I? Please forgive me for being, at the moment, a little high on love. The conjugal cocktail currently flooding my bloodstream (and soul) with pleasantly vertiginous endorphins and natural dopamine is stronger than a speedball yet healthier than a bushel of kale. It encompasses many loves, beginning with the long-term love, intimacy and passion I share with my husband Capt’n Max, mixing together with the universal, ecosexual love we share with all the non-human animals we just visited at the San Diego Zoo (especially our kissing cousins, the bonobos, who have so inspired our bonoboësque marriage), combined with the deliciously intoxicating, super-powerful, collective love we shared with all our bonoboësque friends, fans and lovers plus a few fabulous strangers who joined the Captain and me this past Saturday in bacchanalian celebration of our 24th Wedding Anniversary. Salut!
Which brings me back to this fantastic orgiastic night in Bonoboville (now playing above) that I was just starting to blog about when I had to catch the limo to the zoo, so all I could manage to squeeze out was “Thank you!” without even properly thanking any of you by name, but now that I am home again, I will attempt to do just that. Though mere words—and even these super-fun photos—pale in comparison to the big sparkling disco ball of gratitude spinning around inside of me.
50 Shades of Lavender: Ron Jeremy, Our Attorney, Erotique, Amor & More
So… the theme of the 24th Wedding Anniversary is “musical instruments,” and the first to pull out his is none other than Ron Jeremy, but no, not his skin flute (this time); his harmonica. To the world, Ron is an international sex icon, but to us, he’s an old friend (I’ll always be grateful to Dr. Toni Grant for introducing us), not to mention Mayor of Bonoboville, and a fine musician, serenading my Neopolitan Prince and me with Italian love songs like a veritable gondolier.
By the time Ron gets on the bed, there are already a bevy of stars of stage, screen, the courtroom and kitchen. Our “daughter,” Amor “Baby Block” Hilton, is back in Bonoboville in all her glory, trailing an entourage of make-up and hair people, looking gorgeous in and out of her bra of dark lavender, the color of 24th wedding anniversaries, especially when taking Bonoboville Communion with Ron de Jeremy Rum from our “Best Altar Girl,” Dayton Rains, also looking extremely lovely in lavender. Loni Legend is in neon orange, but her dress looks like it’s painted on her adorably hot bod, so no one minds.
PHOTO 1: CHEF BE*LIVE. PHOTOS 2 & 3: ONO BO
Max’s oldest friend in the building, attorney Barry Fisher, is also looking good in a lawyerly way, reminiscing about our successful legal battles against criminal libel statutes and various First and Fourth Amendment infringements of the LAPD… though I wish he’d pulled out his accordion—the instrument, not the legal file folder. Next time, Councilor!
Our friend, Eric John, MIT grad, CEO and chief stud at Erotique Entertainment, brings his pretty new sweetheart, Riley Reyes—and ooh la la! Though it’s deeply gratifying to see so many beloved familiar faces at such a meaningful occasion, it’s also fun to have a sexy stranger like Riley in the mix, particularly when she strips down to nothing but the pants around her knees for Bonoboville Communion with Ron down Dayton’s throat. It’s “waterboarding,” bonobo-style.
Rawkstar Be*Live & Django Danièle
Speaking of sexy newbies, it’s the very first Dr. Susan Block Show for the dynamic duo of “Rawkstar” Chef Be*Live, aka Brian James Lucas, and renowned actress Danièle Watts, featured in Quentin Tarantino’s groundbreaking “Southern,” Django Unchained, as well as on Showtime’s Weeds, among other impressive credits, seriously. It’s apparent why Quentin cast delightful Danièle as Coco; with those meltingly huge doe eyes and classically beautiful features that stretch like rubber into every dramatic expression imaginable, Danièle Watts is a director’s dream.
A different kind of Hollywood power couple, Danièle and Chef Be*Live gained fame as the interracial twosome cited by the LAPD for allegedly having sex in a car, though they were fully clothed at the time. Needless to say, on this show, they do not remain fully clothed, and we sing Hallelujah for that. And a big thank you for hooking us up, Brendan Sharkey!
PHOTO 1: BAMBI. PHOTO 2: ONO BO. PHOTO 3: BAMBI
Not only do these two fit right into Bonoboville like long-lost members of a bonobo tribe, they pretty much steal the show with their talent, playful charm and refreshing sense of openness. I’d say they “take the cake,” except that they actually bring the cake, a yummy “orgasmic” raw vegan 24th wedding anniversary cheesecake with a lavender-ish raspberry swirl whipped up by Chef Be*Live that has everyone in the Speakeasy licking their plates and each other’s fingers, just like bonobos at feeding time… well, except for the plates.
Me$$y Friends & Mistress Minx
Ultra-flexible Danièle wiggles herself right into the middle of the next performance, in which Me$$ed Up (last seen as “Drunk Jesus”) plays the “musical instrument” of his voice, rapping “Friends” about facials and “shattering paradigms” with his partner Natthias Paul.
Wearing her lavender crinoline around her neck (having long before lost her “Lil Miss Hollywood” T-shirt), Danièle clutches a lavender bonobo doll like a baby, as Me$$y and Natthias rap around her, without missing a beat. And the Womb Room crowd goes wild.
After all that rapping, we’re ready for that devastatingly dulcet Goddess among Goddesses, the marvelous, mellifluous and mischievous Mistress Selina Minx, a true Venus in Furs who happens to be, in her “other life,” an accomplished musician and the composer of “Opium,” my show’s opening music.
Introduced to us by the living legendary Ken Marcus, we have known and adored Ms. Minx since 1997 when she was barely a baby in Hollywood. Considering how fabulous she is, it’s hard for us to fathom how or why we haven’t seen her since 2004 when she played the harp naked in her role as Venus on Eros Day. Just more evidence of that maddening “time flies” phenomenon, I suppose, especially for those of us who happen to be having fun.
Shakespeare dubbed music “the food of love,” and though he probably was thinking more “mandolin” than “ukelele,” Mistress Selina Minx plucks tender love, romance and wit, “making whoopy” out of her humble uke, filling our Womb Room with a sexy Hawaiian-flavored twang, eventually doing a duet with Ron Jeremy. And she really seems to savor Chef Be*Live’s cake. I’m thrilled to resurrect our old relationship with the inimitable Mistress Minx and excited to see her again at DomCon LA 2016 where she will judge the Pony Show and I will present “The Bonobo Way: A New FemDom Paradigm for Humanity.”
J-Sho, Tammie & “We Are One”
Next up is Jessica Shores (J-sho), singer/songwriter of one of Max’s favorite songs, “Do the Miley Cyrus (Spread it like a Virus),” which the sultry diva sings LiVE for the first time in the Womb Room… in a corset!
Suddenly the sexiest chauffeur in Southern Cali, clad in a skin-tight, sheer-across-the-chest black jumpsuit, leaps up from the audience area and onto the stage. Tammie Parrott shakes her fantastic ass and dips it low to J-Sho’s mix for our anniversary and tops it off, in the after-party, with a $100 donation to help save the bonobos. Gorgeous and generous, shimmering blonde hair down to her well-toned butt, the ability to drive anything with a wheel and a real-life sense of responsibility—what more could you ask for in the ultimate driving mistress?
PHOTO 1l ONO BO. PHOTO 2: IRWIN. PHOTO 3: ONO BO
Then Ikkor the Wolf of the Green Cross steps up and strips off his shirt (at my request and with great modesty) to reveal his excellent abs and howl his Bonoboville anthem, “We Are One,” as we all hold up one finger (or maybe two or three), resonating to the rhythm. We Are One. 24 years and counting. But it all comes back to One.
Not Just a Penis—a Pianist!
And with that, we migrate into the Bonoboville erotic art gallery for a very different kind of musical instrument: the majestic resurrection of my late great grandmother’s 1926 Steinway baby grand piano.
First up on the piano bench is Nori Carter, graduate (with honors!) of the Bonoboville College of Sapiosexual Knowledge. In our last two Downtown LA studios, Nori played his eloquent original music, filling the old Speakeasy with melodic mystery and lyrical passion. Now looking dapper in one of his signature suits with a flame red tie, Nori makes our Steinway sing his hauntingly beautiful songs again, rendering ours the ultimate 24th wedding anniversary!
Then the Hedgehog himself slides onto the bench, playing a medley of classics as some of us sing along, while others listen, slack-jawed in amazement to discover another side of Ron Jeremy: not just a penis, but also a pianist. Chef Be*Live, and Danièle dance around the piano like the muses of Apollo and Dionysus combined, swirling among the gallery’s art photos, paintings and sculptures like living, moveable art. Into the dance waltzes our old friend Stripperella comic artist Anthony Lee Winn, whom we first met back in 2011 on our show with Dave Bautista. I dance with everyone and fall, blissfully blitzed, into my Captain’s warm strong arms as he steers me safely into the connubial bed, and we continue the music, moaning and sighing in harmony honed like Tuscan wine over 24 years of love, lust, fair weather and turbulent conditions, bonoboësque RƎVO˩ution and marriage. Thank you all, because we couldn’t do it without you helping us to stay loving, relatively honest and sweetly kinky in marriage.
PHOTOS 1 & 2: UNSCENE ABE. PHOTO 3: SELFIE
In a way, marriage is inherently kinky. What greater from of consensual bondage is there than the wedding ring? It isn’t really natural for humans to stay in a romantic pair-bond for many years. You have to work it…. with a lot of play. And then it flowers, and your whole garden grows, or your jungle flourishes, depending on how wild you are. Between Max and me, there’s such a rainforest of feeling, I really think we could spend the rest of time just holding each other and never get bored.
But no marriage is an island. We cherish our relationships with everyone (lovers, haters and everyone in between), with those of you who could join us on this special musical night of nights, and many more of you who couldn’t, for one reason or another. Thank you for all of your various types of contributions to Bonoboville that help us to grow and help save the wild bonobos from extinction. Keep it up! Stay sexy. Feel the love. ♫ #GoBonobos! ♫ Make Music Not War. ♫
© April 15, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.
P.S. Our wedding anniversaries are legendary.. Check out Citizen LA‘s 2015 report on “The Pleasure Compound I Dr. Susan Block” and “I interviewed Sex Therapist Dr. Suzy at Her 22nd Wedding Anniversary Party” in Vice.