Asher Fire, Skye, Dr. Suzy, Jade Song, Ana, Trixie Plenty, Lisa of Jello Shots LA. Thank You Condomania! Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:31:40     Date: Nov. 23, 2013

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Striptease is one of the oldest art forms known to humankind. As soon as we started wearing clothes, there were probably more than a few of us who started taking our clothing off seductively. For most of our prehistory, homo sapiens were as naked as all the other animals. When we started to cover our bodies with animal skins and foliage, human nudity turned taboo. As I write in the forthcoming Wiley-Blackwell Encyclopedia of Sex (slated for publication in 2014), un-clothing—aka stripping—became the teasing “gateway” between the civilized, clothed world and the naked realm of primeval pleasures forbidden in everyday life. Thus stripping is one of the most primal, powerful aphrodisiacs there is. A well-known University of Chicago Sex Survey found that the second most common turn-on, next to regular sexual intercourse, is watching someone you find sexy taking off their clothes.

And that’s just what we do, broadcasting live from Bonoboville at LAX with a capital X (747s zooming through RadioSUZY1, thus the turbulence you hear in the beginning of the show)… and introducing our brand new webcam performance therapist-in-residence, DrSuzy.Tv production assistant, aerialist, quasi-nudist and “sting slut,” Asher Fire, who takes it all off (to the enthusiastic cheers of the crew) and does a headstand, naked splits, flips, self-spanking, dancing and twerking to Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball.” It is, after all, Miley’s birthday, so why not celebrate it in a birthday suit? That’s what Miley’s wears through most of her “Wrecking Ball” video, and that’s what many of the sanctimonious wags said she stripped down to at the VMAs, though she actually had all her hotspots covered in a flesh-covered latex bikini. Slut-shaming be damned, the trickster-rockstar-striptease prodigy is now having the last laugh on her detractors, living it up, sticking out her tongue as the IT GIRL of the moment, and who knows what may happen when you’ve just turned 21 and you’re riding a wrecking ball into the future?

We also play Miley’s group sexy “We Can’t Stop” video and the brilliantly smarmy SNL spoof “We Did Stop (the Government)” featuring Miley as a debauched Michele Bachman. In honor of Miley’s latex fetish—and because it’s cold enough to freeze my boobs off—I wear a slinky, faux latex catsuit given to me by my Twitter “friend” Jeremy. Trixie sports a skeletal “onesie,” Jade’s hair turns blue and Max dons his captain’s hat, but it’s Asher who steals the show by wearing nothing at all—our first live nude performance in new Bonoboville… with many more to cum!

We’re also still celebrating Capt’n Max’s bday with more tales of his exciting life, including the story of where he was when JFK was assassinated exactly half a century ago. On the job at a Singer sewing machine plant when he heard the news that the charismatic and liberal U.S. president had been murdered in cold blood, young Max took off his apron, left work early and never went back, galvanized to lead a more meaningful life.

During sexy Jack Kennedy’s all-too-brief time on earth, he is well-known to have enjoyed many lovers, including one of the most famous striptease artists of that era and beyond, the inimitable Tempest Storm. Everybody can use a little striptease therapy, even—or perhaps especially—world leaders. Here at the Institute, we should know, since quite a few of these titans are clients of ours.

Which brings us to our call-in guest, another one of our new therapists who used to be a stripper: Sweet-as-a-Starburst Candy Moore began stripping right after her 18^th birthday—with her refreshingly open-minded, bisexual Mom’s support. At first, she just did it for the money. But gradually, Candy realized that stripping made her feel empowered, boosting her self-confidence like nothing she’d ever done before. She also discovered the joy and fulfillment she received from helping her patrons at the Spearmint Rhino to relax, de-stress from their pressure-packed lives and enjoy a bit of erotic, interactive pleasure. That’s one reason why, after six booty-shaking years, she retired from stripping, and decided to go back to school and become a therapist (as well as a yoga instructor and political activist for liberal causes). Some of her more prominent strip club customers have included Tommy Lee, an “amazing man” who had a special regard for Candy’s feet, and Anna Nicole Smith, who bought lap dances for every member of her legal team at the Spearmint Rhino one night. And now as a therapist with the Institute, Candy also has some famous clients, but we would never tell who…

We do tell you that we love our new DrSusanBlock.com homepage, Condomania condoms, bonobos (looking forward to this coming Saturday’s show with Deni Béchard, author of Empty Hands, Open Arms: The Race to Save Bonobos in the Congo and Make Conservation Go Viral) and Charlotte Stokely’s star turn in the brilliantly ridiculous “Balls in Yo Cup” (no stripping in this version, but a lot of fierce twerking and simulated squirting). Moreover, this show (now playing on DrSuzy.Tv—listen free or join to watch) would not be nearly as much fun as it is without the delicious and empowering Pumpkin and Apple Pie Jello Shots Lisa (another Block Institute webcam and phone therapist) brings us from JelloShots LA for the once-in-a-lifetime Thanksgivukkah holiday. Call our office at 310-568-0066 to order some now. I suggest the Pumpkin Pie Jello Shots which are made with a little pie crust, infused with rum and pumpkin flavoring and topped with whipped cream. Make sure your Turkey-Menorah Day is well-stuffed and well-lit! Hag Sameyach Thanksgivukkah!