To my darling fellow bloggamists who so faithfully read and post comments on these bloggamies: I’m sorry I haven’t written much lately; in fact, right after I finish writing this one, I will contritely bend over, raise my skirt and pull my panties down to my knees so you can spank my bare bottom. I have no excuse for my naughtiness. It’s just that big chunks of my time have been going into my new nightly live radio show. Besides broadcasting on RadioSuzy1, I am also now on Skype, and if you’re already a Skyper, you know you can talk to me free from anywhere in the world right through the site.

HONOR MASTURBATION, NOT OCCUPATION!
M Month is Coming: Stock Up on Hitachi!

We are talking about everything from anal sex to operetta, female ejaculation to the Iraq occupation. Some of my recent guests have included Julien Nitzberg of The Beastly Bombing (now up for 5 LA Weekly Theater Awards), bonobo musician Wynn Paris, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha author Py Kim Conant, Melodramatic Queen Sara Sioux and her gal pal Rachel, Frank Moore and Michael Dickinson on the anniversary of the Iraqi Invasion, erotic art photographer Thomas Hodges and beautiful model CC Wang calling from Paris. We are gradually posting podcasts of all of the radio shows BackStage for our members to listen to while surfing through our hot BackStage photos.

I’ve also been busy writing my sex and death book, creating another great Speakeasy Seder, getting ready for my Yale reunion (where I will be on the “Prime Time” panel), talking to sex therapy clients, doing stuff for Canaan’s film and trying to find a new home for the Speakeasy (you got one for us?). Then at least an hour out of each 24 has been taken up with fabulous orgasmic sex with my H; despite all the challenges of our unique life and against all odds, our sex just keeps getting better. One of these days, I have to figure out why and write a book about that.

Scott Kelman R.I.P. 

Last Sunday, I went to a memorial for my dear friend and experimental theater mentor Scott Kelman, who was one of the key creators of the performance art scene in Southern California, founder of the funky but award-winning Factory Place Theater, The Boyd Street Theater and The Wallenboyd. Scott brought Whoopi Goldberg to LA, produced Tim Robbins’ Actors’ Gang, Firesign Theatre’s Peter Bergman, Harry Shearer, Paul Krassner, Kedric Robin Wolfe, Jan Munroe, Hirokazu Kosaka, John Fleck, Luis Alfaro and John Densmore of The Doors, and produced several of my own performance art productions in the mid-80s. I met Scott when I was a teenager at Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado. He taught me an improvisational exercise called “sound and movement” that is a kind of “alchemy” that “makes the unconscious conscious,” as well as a way of acting and living “moment to moment” that has informed my own creative process, as well as my whole improvisational life, ever since. Scott had already had one heart attack when I’d met him, and his love for cigarettes and creative stress made the doctors and almost everyone else predict he wouldn’t last much longer. He fooled them all, lasting to the fairly ripe age of 70, surviving three more heart attacks, and just passed away from pneumonia a little over a month ago. He led a good, fairly long, incredibly meaningful life, so I’m not grieving for him; I’m grieving for myself because I miss him.

This is the second Scott to die “on me” in less than a year. That is one thing that really sucks about the natural aging passage; more and more people you care about die on you.

SCOTT KELMAN
July 3, 1936 – February 22, 2007

So another Scott is gone. But the one and only Kelman lives on in a theater named after him at the Electric Lodge in beautiful Venice Beach, California, as well as in the hearts of countless experimental theater lovers all over the world, and in the theatrical orgiastic Commedia Erotica bacchanals that we produce here at the Speakeasy.

NEW SQURTING & SHAVING CLIPS!

The busy bonobos at Block Studios have created several new clips for your viewing pleasure now in Clip-O-Rama. Check them out:

WET BAR

See Tai Squirt! See Tai soak the Speakeasy Bar! See the bartender happily mop up fragrant floods of female ejaculate at the end of this wet and wild clip. Starring and edited by budding porn star and Bonobo Gang hot mama Tai Ellis. Hallelujah, Praise the Lady! With a cameo appearance by Annie Body. See the stream (pun intended) or get the download.

Getting Rid Of Bush

GETTING RID OF BUSH

Yes, we really should get rid of the Horrible Bush occupying the Oval Office. And this clip just shows us getting rid of the Hairy Bush occupying Tai’s Oval Orifice. No, it won’t solve any world problems. But it’s a nice close shave that should satisfy the shaving cravings of all you bald pussy fetishists. It’ll even teach you a thing or two about how to give yourself or your sweetheart a nice clean shave that’ll leave her lovely labia hairless and silky smooth, without a nick or a cut to mar their Georgia O’Keefesque beauty. “Getting Rid of Bush,” featured on our brand new Pop Fetish page, stars our lovely Tai Ellis, shaved, shot and edited by Wagner Rodriguez. See the stream or get the download.

ANNIE’S XXXMAS SQUIRT

Here’s another fabulous female ejaculation clip shot and edited by our Mar, featuring the amazing Annie Body squirting up a storm on the festive “Dommes & Hollie” episode of The Dr. Susan Block Show. Of course, we have other hot clips of Annie squirting, but this one is special because it is overflowing with XXXmas Cheer; that is, both Annie and I are obviously rip-roaringly drunk, probably on Absente Absinthe, as we all know the Green Fairy loves Christmas! So if you enjoy watching two hot drunk pantyless women playing together, as one of them (moi) uses a gigantic glittering glass dildo to make the other one (the bodacious Ms. Body) squirt like a geyser, this is your kind of clip! See the stream (literally) or get the download.

DrSusanBlock.com/Cliporama

POLITICS

I know that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a Bad Guy, of course. And to those of you who magnanimously suggest that I “go live in Iran” when I criticize the current American administration, I still say “no thank you.” I don’t want to wear a burka in a land with no separation of mosque and state. But when I contrast the humane, downright hospitable way that Ahmadinejad and his people seem to have treated the British soldiers they captured with the way Bush, Blair and their peeps have treated Middle Eastern prisoners in Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo, I am so ashamed of our side I almost want to cover us all — guys and girls — in camouflage burkas. The safe-and-sound soldiers’ accusations of “trickery and mind games” seem like so many sour apples (no doubt coached by their superiors), considering how healthy-looking and well-fed they look after their “ordeal.” So “touché” to Mahmoud for a well-orchestrated, peaceful PR move which Dubya or his poodle would surely have blundered, causing death to innocents and embarrassment to all, as their Iraqi Adventure has proven.

I do take heart in hearing how the Dutch soldiers in Afghanistan are trying to practice a form of the Bonobo Way, instead of acting like the usual military baboons. Check this out: “here in Uruzgan Province, where the Taliban operate openly, a Dutch-led task force has mostly shunned combat. Its counterinsurgency tactics emphasize efforts to improve Afghan living conditions and self-governance, rather than hunting the Taliban’s fighters. Bloodshed is out. Reconstruction, mentoring and diplomacy are in.” Who knows how much truth there is to this report, but it sounds a lot more promising than “Shoot to kill and get killed.” Gotta hand it to the Dutch: They’re trying to be progressive, even as an occupying force, apparently attempting to put “peace through pleasure” philosophy to the test. Wonder if Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape author Frans de Waal or our friends Xaviera “The Happy Hooker” Hollander, Cora Emmens or Willem de Ridder are consulting on this. Well, whoever’s behind it, let’s cross our fingers that the Dutch do well in Afghanistan, and set a good example to the rest of us barbarians.

MAY 19: NEXT BIG SPEAKEASY SHOW & WRAP PARTY!

Now here’s the news you’re been waiting for: Our next hotly anticipated Block Studios event will be Saturday night, May 19th, when we celebrate Masturbation Month (the month of May) with a “Jack ‘n’ Jill Off Jamboree.” Not that you’ll have to beat your meat at the show (unless you want to), but this is a time to honor masturbation, not occupation! Pet the Kitty, Spank the Monkey, Make Like Bonobos, Not Baboons! Drop Bras, Not Bombs! Play with Pocket Rockets, Not Patriot Missiles! Call 213.749.1330 or 1.866.289.7068 or click here to make your reservations now.