With Penthouse Pets Phoenix Marie, Isis Taylor, McKenzee Miles and Ryan Keely. Photo: Mike C

Length: 96:57 minutes        Date: 05/28/2011

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Masturbation Month 2011 climaxes in the Womb Room as I play hostess to a bevy of gorgeous and entertaining Penthouse Pets who share sex stories, sex tips, sex talents, sex toy demonstrations, super-sexy body shots and one mammoth masturbatory orgasm.  What a *happy ending* to Masturbation Month!

Featured Guests

Ryan Keely: 2011 Penthouse Runner Up Pet of the Year gracing the cover of March 2011, smart sexpot, born-again anal virgin and sex advice writer for “The Dirty Details” in Penthouse Forum, Ryan takes the lead in demonstrating Penthouse’s new line of vibrating butt plugs, dildos and custom molded Taylor Vixen pussies from Penthouse’s new Mode Collection by Topco (“Hi-Style for Modern Love”), helps me give advice to her callers and chats with Prince Max about his old friend Penthouse founder Bob Guccione. Later, she volunteers her lovely Penthouse estate of a body for Agwa lime salt licking—right nipple for Phoenix, left for Isis, belly button for McKenzee. Since her “root chakra has been blocked for 4 years,” she declares, as though prescribing herself a cure, “I need a dick in my ass.”  She also confesses to pegging some of her favorite men.  Coming to the end of the show, Ryan makes Panty Boy’s dreams cum true by stuffing her panties in and out of her mouth and vagina, her long legs gracefully spread apart, screaming as she orgasms with the help of her pretty pink seven-inch Penthouse Topco “ultra-powerful gyrating massager with rhinestone accents (to add class to your sass)”.

Ryan Keely’s Awesome “Valley Girl” Climax: Photo: Mike C

McKenzee Miles: Sultry small town brunette (blonde on her Penthouse cover from July/August 2010), former real estate agent (with appreciated assets) and porn actress, McKenzee literally and figuratively “fucked” Oregon, moved to LA and ‘Craigslisted’ her way into the adult industry, eventually becoming a Penthouse Pet. To demonstrate sensation play, she blindfolds herself as Ryan Keely softly runs the feather end of a black vibrating butt plug up and down her neck, her ears and her chest, exciting her with each stroke of surprise. Then she deep-throats 10 solid inches of my12-inch sword dildo

Phoenix Marie: Sweet, sassy, anal cowgirl-loving  porn star, acrobatic, double-jointed, erotic contortionist and Penthouse Pet (November 2010 cover), Phoenix’s many ample talents include backhanded blowjobs, anal splits, mouth fisting, self-toe licking, shaking her ample derriere and contorting her legs into the most convoluted yet optimal positions known to—and appreciated by—the male species, all of which she demonstrates, like a Commedia Erotica circus performer under the Big Top of my bed.

Phoenix Marie has a fetish for her own feet. Photo: Andy Martin

Isis Taylor: September 2010 Penthouse Pet of the Month, part Peruvian, part Israeli, wisecracking, tweeting “Valley Girl” (it’s tattooed on her forearm) married to porn star Ethan Hunt, the intrepid Isis was raised as an Orthodox Jew.  But her beautiful face, all natural, supple breasts, equally luscious ass (which she displays proudly in her “invisible panties”) and adventurous spirit carried her into the world of erotica. Unlike her fellow Penthouse Pets, however, Isis is not anally inclined, mainly because, in her words, “there’s a perfectly good vagina a few inches away.”

Dylan T:  A Friend of the Speakeasy, Dylan plays a cover of Radiohead’s “Creep” to ironically conclude Masturbation Month 2011.

Caller 1: Nassem from Detroit wants to know what a fetish is. Dr. Suzy explains that the word “fetish” originally referred to religious objects that evoke powerful feelings, just as sexual fetishes can do the same, and the Pets contribute their knowledge of fetishes. Nassem, however, does not have a fetish of his own, or refuses to share, despite the clamoring of the Pets. Prince Max confesses that he has a fetish for me (with a little wifely prodding).

Caller 2: Carmello asks the Pets how Twitter impacted their careers. Through tweeting, Ryan says she is able to connect more intimately with her fans and even meet one of her favorite comic book writers.

Caller 3: Angel asks the Pets which celebrities they would want most to have sex with. Isis wants Mark Sanchez; McKenzee would do Dr. House, Ryan lusts for Anne Hathaway. Phoenix isn’t interested in celebrities. Isis discloses that she has dated a fair share of celebrities, but unfortunately she doesn’t screw and tell.

A Triumphant Orgasm for Ryan! Photo: MMB

Weapons of Mass Discussion:

Love and Sex, Smart Sexpots, Oral Sex, Analgasms, Vibrating Butt Plugs, Fuck Oregon, Revolution for the Sake of Sex, Israeli Penthouse Pets, Penthouse Dark Side, Prosecuted Publishers, Penthouse vs. Playboy, Origin Of Fetishes, Pre-War Governess Spanking Fetish, Wife Fetishes, Backhanded Blowjobs, Anal Splits, Pegging Men With Strap-Ons, Being Regular vs Interesting, Connecting with Fans on Twitter, Treating Twitter Like Your Best Friend

Performance Erotica:

Self-Petting (Masturbation), Topless Play, Panty Play, Sensation Play With Blindfolds and Feathery Butt Plugs, Ass Flashing, Pussy Flashing, Hairy Bush, Kissing, Licking One’s Own Toes, Stuffing Panties In and Out of Mouth and Vagina, Licking Agwa Salt Off Boobs and Belly Button, Deep-Throating Silver Sword Dildo, Fists In Mouth, Chinese Splits, Erotic Contortions, Invisible Panties, Taylor Vixen’s Vagina, Masturbation Month Climactic Orgasm with Penthouse Massager