Getting ready to MOVE with Sparkle Sparkle Bang Bang and Christina…

I now commit bloggamy from the eye of a storm of change.  Yes, change is good and the changes we are going through right now are all essentially positive, potentially even quite marvelous.  Nevertheless, major changes often cause pain to parts of the human body and mind that haven’t hurt since, well, the last time you went through major changes.  Like a good spanking, it stings as it stimulates.

So, right now, I am being spanked by the firm hand of fate.  Of course, I enjoy a little light spanking, but this is more like a stiff caning or a whopping  power-wallop.  Which is still kind of arousing, but it hurts.

Kinky CMS

Notice anything different about the bloggamy?  Yes, we are transitioning into a new platform or CMS,  joining the Word Press Revolution in content management systems.  Do I sound like I know what I’m talking about?  I don’t really know CMS from PMS, but with Norioku’s patient help, I’m getting the hang of it.  And I’m excited about new features I didn’t have on the old system, like multiple private galleries (almost as hot as multiple orgasms)!  But migrating everything is tougher than getting a visa to Tibet, so some of the blog entries don’t have all their stuff together and none have comments yet.  There are other kinks in the system (and I’m not even going to get into all the interpersonal melodrama that has accompanied this transition).  While we’re migrating, you can always look at the old bloggamies in Drupal, and you can see both the fabulous new Word Press galleries and the old Drupal galleries when you subscribe to the bloggamy.  Such a deal.

But such a headache!  Within a week or two, we should be full migrated, but in the meantime, my brain is exploding with themes and tools and settings.  Where’s my vibrator?  Where’s my husband?  I need somethingto make my body explode so I can get my mind off my brain exploding…

OMG, We’re Moving!
As if it’s not enough to move the websites, we are also moving the whole Institute, and yes, that includes the Speakeasy.  I hate moving!  This is one reason we haven’t moved since 2002.  I know, you sympathize, you hate moving too.  Thank you for your understanding.  But I’m not talking about that long weekend it took you to move your 900 square foot New York apartment, or the week you took off work to relocate your 3500 square foot house in the Hollywood Hills, or even the two weeks it took you to transport your 8000 square foot castle in Cannes.  I’m talking about huffing 17,000 square feet of furniture, carpets, computers, curtains, audio-video equipment, artwork, DVDs, tapes (hundreds of tapes from the “old days” that have yet to be digitized), giant sex toys , not to mention a few actual human beings.  In other words, everything and the kitchen sink.  Actually, two kitchen sinks.  Plus two bathroom sinks, four refrigerators, 100 hats, 50 vibrators, 300 dildos, over 2000 yards of burgundy velvet, 5000 books, three Eames chairs, a Saarinen Womb Chair, a 1926 Steinway baby grand piano and an akeeta corn snake.

I’m not trying to brag about how much space – and how many sinks and dildos – I *command* (well, maybe I am, a little).  I am trying to tell you that this is a monster of a move that most of you, God and Goddess willing, should never have to endure, and please don’t be surprised if I crack up completely in the middle. Just call the paramedics and make sure they take me to USC.

The good news is that we are moving to a nicer, sleeker, more modern, ultra-sexy new space just a couple blocks away from where we are now, with breathtaking views of El Lay all around us.  It’s Speakeasy Sex and The City time, Brothers & Sisters, Lovers & Sinners.  We’ve got tons of work to do – walls to build and phone systems to install – but with a little help from our friends, we should have it open and ready to rock by Eros Day 2010.

It’s all very exciting, but also kind of frightening and well, moving is a bitch!  So…if helping others gives you a hard-on and/or makes you wet, if you are the “rescuing type” or if you happen to have a spare truck or some empty boxes, if you’re a handyman or woman, if you have a fetish for drywall or you’re good with plumbing (not just the sexual kind) and you’d like to receive the fabulous *perks* inherent in being a Friend of the Institute or a Slave of the Speakeasy, c’mon, get off your cute butt NOW and help us out!  Call 213.749.1330 and ask for Lisa or David, or email move@blockbooks.com.

Couples Camp with Merv TV

After holding out just long enough, I am delighted to announce that we’ve just signed a deal with Merv Griffin Productions to create and host a brand-new reality TV show, the working title of which is “Couples Camp.”

I haven’t been this excited about doing a “mainstream” TV show since Radio Sex TV with HBO.  It was an honor and a pleasure to work with Sheila Nevins, Shari Cookson and Dave Bell.  Speaking of whom, I ran into all three at an Emmys party for non-fiction programming for nominees.  Then Shari, along with Sheila and HBO, won an Emmy for Exceptional Merit in Nonfiction Programming for The Memory Loss Tapes (check out the pics in theEmmys Gallery)!

It’s a thrill to create original TV with Emmy winners like Sheila, Shari and Dave.  But I also love the freedom of doing my own wild, idiosyncratic, free-ranging, boundary-pushing show which you can still see on a few public access channels as well as drsusanblock.com – now being completely revamped.  Speaking of Big Change, that’s what’s happening to our entire web empire, so please bear with us digitally right now, as we’re still “in beta.”

Anyway, you simply can’t have that kind of freedom of expression when you’re doing a show on “regular” TV.  Everything must be politically correct and amenable to corporate and religious watch groups which inevitably limit  freedom of expression, especially when it comes to sex. And yet…despite these restrictions and having to “commute” regularly now all the way from Downtown to Merv Country (right next to the Beverly Wilshire, of course), it’s great to be able to work with a relatively big budget and get all that “regular TV” exposure (’cause you know how I love me some exposure).  I’m excited to be collaborating with Superproducer Roy Bank, the creative force behind Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, beautiful and imaginative supermodel and cosmetics CEO Josie Maran, the marvelous and dynamic Hazel Steward and the rest of the team.

Then of course, there’s the Spirit of Merv.  The man passed away in 2007.  But his charming, joyous, open-minded esprit infuses the company.  Merv was a billionaire when he died.  But he left more than a billion; he left a feeling.  He was one of the great pioneers of early television talk shows.  My mom adored him.   Sometimes I imagine she was fantasizing about Merv and his “Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” when she had sex with my Dad, though I have no proof of that.  I do know she tried not to miss his shows featuring the biggest celebrities, artists, intellectuals and politicians of the day.  Merv was a television entertainment genius, going beyond his own shows to create and produce such mega-hits as Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

Most important, Merv was unafraid to tackle controversial subjects on his talk show like sexuality and politics, most notably the Vietnam War, even with a conservative sponsor like Westinghouse.  Merv allowed many outspoken anti-war guests like Bertrand Russell, Abbie Hoffman, George Carlin and Dick Gregory have their say, which certainly helped to sway many adoring housewives like my mom to protest and eventually put a stop to that ugly, enervating war.

Too bad he’s not  around to help stop the war we’ve got going now.  Well, at least the courageous, open Spirit of Merv lives on in his archives and vibrant, active production company.  I will humbly try to serve it well.

Though first, we have to sell it well.  That is, we have to “pitch” this new show in meetings with networks.  Oy! Pitch meetings are running through November which is exactly when we are moving.  When it rains, it pours.  When it moves, it shakes!

Hot Sex After Heart Surgery

Speaking of moving, Max is recovering like gangbusters from his emergency quadruple bypass of six weeks ago.  Still, recuperation from a cracked-open chest split open and veins ripped from your thighs to replace the ones connected to your heart is painful.   Even for a big, tough bambolone like my Max.  At various moments, every part of his body hurts, which makes sex difficult though not impossible.  Mr. Penis is just fine actually, despite the huge surgical slices that decorate the surrounding areas of the thighs, stomach and chest.  When Mr. P is erect, which is more and more often, he looks like a lonely bomb blast survivor standing amongst the wreckage of his home, a victim of a “surgical strike.”  But at least the wreckage is healing.

And sexual arousal is a healing force and a marvelous painkiller.  Just putting the patient’s hand on your breast can make him feel a lot better (Note to Nurses: Doing this may get you fired, but it will help your patient heal).  Orgasm is an even more powerful, healing force, though you have to watch out for cramping.  Oh, and having sex with the patient also happens to be a great stress release for the patient’s horny caretaker (caretakers need lovin’ too).

So, how do you have hot sex after heart surgery?  Very carefully.  I am getting strong biceps from holding my torso up off Max’s still-sensitive chest while doing him in the woman-on-top position, even during multiple orgasms.  And yes, sometimes I get arm cramps!  But all in all, it’s an awesome, orgasmic experience as well as a nifty new bicep exercise.

It’s funny, but having hot sex after heart surgery is actually easier than simple hugging.  But we’re making progress on that front too.  We’re now able to press our chests together slowly without setting off fireworks of pain throughout Max’s broken – but healing – breastbone.  You can’t imagine how wonderful that feels after “no hugging” for six weeks!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  A little deprivation can be a great aphrodisiac.

Off To The Exotic Erotic Ball!

As if we don’t have enough on our overflowing plate, we are now headed up to celebrate the 30^th Anniversary of Perry Mann’s Exotic Erotic Ball.  I’ve been invited to give a talk on Sperm Wars and The Chemistry of Love.  How do you give a “talk” at a Ball?  Who knows?  But they’re giving us a booth, and it’s Tila Tequila’s birthday, so I have to go.  Porn Stars Natasha Skinski and Tommy Lei as well as shimmering hottie Sparkle Sparkle Bang Bang, plus a few other friends and lovers will be going up with us in a fantastic, luxury motorhome, so I’m sure we’ll have great bloggamies to share when we return.

Bonobo Ardi

I don’t have time to blog about it properly, but I’m very excited about the recent discovery of the 4.4 million year old fossil of a human ancestor dubbed “Ardi,” said to be much more peaceful and sensitive than our old ideas of murderous “killer ape” human progenitors.  I agree with primatologist Frans de Waal that Ardi is a lot like a bonobo:

“What if we descend not from a blustering chimp-like ancestor but from a gentle, empatheticbonobo-like ape? …Ardi is telling us something, and there may be little agreement about what she is saying, but I hear a refreshing halt to the drums of war that have accompanied all previous theories.”

So Many Sex Scandals, So Little Time…

MacKenzie Phillips, Dave Letterman, Roman Polanski… I can’t keep up!  One of these days, I will bloggamize about them all and the painful, funny, frustrating hypocrisies associated, as soon as I get situated!

RadioSUZY1 and Beyond

Speaking of being unsituated, I’m not sure when our next live RadioSUZY1 show will be.  We are on the move!  So, if you need your fix, you can go to the archives .  We’ve had a bunch of fantastic recent shows with Goddess Soma and her beautiful BDSM Family, golf pro/porn star Persia Monir, Kelly Shibari, Rosh Hashanah with Aunt Debra, the effervescent Sparkle Sparkle Bang Bang, Christina, the cool musical group Saint Motel, glamorous, twitter-addicted God’s Girls Analiese and Jenna Valentine and the irresistible Kat.  Check out our XXX-rated double-dong riding action plus Kat AND Persia Monir riding the Monkey Rocker and much more in our awesome new Private Galleries, all of which you can see when you Join the Bloggamy.

Also our Eros Day X: Orgy for Obama DVD is out now (more on that later).  AND we just threw an awesome BDSM Play Party to celebrate the launch of BrokenDoorFetish, our last big event (besides packing parties) at the old Speakeasy.  But you’ll just have to wait for those photos to appear because, well, did I mention that I’m overwhelmed!?

But in a good way, like a spanking, it’s getting me revved up for more.