Bedside Chat 17 with Mika Spielberg + Happy Wiener Day!
Length 1:32:32 Date: July 18, 2020
by Dr. Susan Block.
It’s a Wiener Festival in Bonoboville—hot dogs, dachshunds and ding-dongs, oh my!—followed by an interview with Mika Spielberg—bright, beautiful erotic performer and daughter of iconic director Steven Spielberg—and finishing up with a chat with one of the biggest wieners in the industry, AVN-winning cocksman Jon Jon.
Trump Stormtroopers Storm Our Streets
As we open the show, the ‘Rona is surging, and the death count is rising throughout America, as unidentified stormtroopers (not the movie characters, but the real deal!), federal agents in combat gear, roam the streets of Portland, shooting and maiming peaceful protestors with kinetic impact munitions and kidnapping others, hooding and detaining them, by orders of the Mango Mussolini.
Beware, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners… Be very aware.
We the People appear to be at a crossroads. The warning signs of economic collapse, societal breakdown and Civil War are bearing down on us like an incoming tsunami.
Will we become more civil, more bonobo, less racist, less fascistic?
Or will we go full-fascismo into a police state, a prison world, a land of the law of the gun?
Who knows? It’s up to us—and that means you, so please vote Blue.
It’s not the *answer* to all our problems, but it’s a step in the civil direction.
Happy Wiener Day!
Meanwhile, hey, hey, make way, make way: It’s International Wiener Day!
So, we celebrate in a Bonobo Way.
Though it’s more of a Dog Day of Summer, and it’s a real holiday, actually a few days in a row, when celebrants chow down on wiener hot dogs and race wiener dog-dogs, a.k.a., dachshunds, which is German for “badger dog” as their long wiener shape enables them to flush badgers out of their burrows.
Yes indeed, like a human wiener (a.k.a., a penis), a dachshund is a hunting dog, penetrating deeply into dark, tight holes, going after its quarry.
It’s my assistant producer Sunshine McWane’s idea to celebrate Wiener Day, because she loves wieners, as you can see by the declaration, “I LOVE WIENERS,” above the well-dressed frankfurter emblazoned across her chest.
So, who else loves wieners? I mean the human kind, not the Oscar Meyer variety (is it Hebrew National if you’re circumcised?). A lot of us love human wieners. Of course, gay men adore wieners, shamelessly, and more wiener power to them. So do some women, though most are more interested in what’s attached to the wiener—the body, the brains, etc. However, once that PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex gets going, Mr. Wiener is the star of the show, if he behaves himself.
But what about so-called heterosexual men? How many of you straight guys love wieners?
Don’t all raise your hands at once.
Gun-toting ammosexuals have perverted our normal healthy appetite for wieners… into a fetish for AR-15s
How about your own? I hope you love your own wiener. Unless you’re a penile masochist, and you, somewhat paradoxically, get off on hating your own wiener, as some guys do.
How about other wieners? Hey, it’s okay; it’s the Bonobo Way. Lots of straight men are turned on by looking at wieners, peeners, cocks, dicks, pricks, anacondas, tube steaks. One reason that male/female porn is the most popular is that most straight guys enjoy watching a hot woman having sex with a well-hung dude.
And the dude himself usually isn’t that important. It’s the wiener.
You might be more turned on when this wiener is very large like a big kielbasa and/or super hard like a heat-seeking missile, attached to a masculine “real man” who knows how to use it.
Then again, maybe you like a wiener attached to a female, perhaps a trans or gender-fluid wiener wielder. Maybe you want to worship what you imagine to be a “superior” wiener, or let both your wieners duel in a “sperm war” – a threesome or cuckolding, or maybe “penis fencing” bonobo-style. Perhaps you enjoy being pegged by a strap-on wiener or a real human penis. Maybe your desire for the wiener is oral—hold the ketchup.
Maybe sex isn’t even a part of it… perhaps you are simply fascinated by another man’s member, for reasons beyond lust. Think about all the phallic objects in the world—from Stonehenge to the Washington Monument to the World Trade Center—most of them manmade. Is it really any wonder why you, along with many other guys through history, have developed a wiener fetish.
Speaking of fascinating, the Latin root of that word is fascinum, a penis-shaped amulet that ancient Roman men and women wore on necklaces for good luck.
It’s all good. Well, not all. Gun-toting ammosexuals have perverted our normal healthy appetite for wieners, affection for wiener dogs and fascination with human wieners into a fetish for AR-15s and other semi-automatic weapons that are now seemingly everywhere.
That’s right, you can’t show your dick in any state, but in over 26 that allow “open carry,” you can show your gun to everyone.
Which brings us to tRump’s wiener, which isn’t even shaped like a wiener according to Stormy Daniels (who should know). It’s more like a baby mushroom. Also, apparently, one of tRump’s many shortcomings is that he’s short in coming. Quick on the trigger and woefully disappointing, like his annoying, rapid-fire tweets.
Of course, the Trumpus prefers hamberders to wieners. As for wiener dogs, he’s far too narcissistic to care for any canine pet.
In contrast, our 26th President, Teddy Roosevelt, fifth cousin to FDR, had many dogs, including a very cute wiener dog.
The good news is that Trumpty Dumpty appears poised for a great fall; his polls are getting to be as short as his pole.
Vive le résistance! Let’s keep it up!
To keep his big mouth shut, we put our tRump effigy under gag order with one of Sunshine’s many wiener balloons; appropriately, it’s a brown one.
Many of little Donnie’s shortcomings are described in vivid, intimate detail by his only niece, the courageous and talented Mary L. Trump, in her new whopper best-sellter that just arrived in Bonoboville: Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man.
There’s only time to peruse the first couple of chapters before the show, but it’s an easy, breezy read, and already I’m finding tasty tidbits of Trump Family Drama, how Fred Trump was a brutally cold, lying, conniving “sociopath” only interested in what he could *get* from others, and how the Donald, the apple of Daddy’s eye, didn’t fall far from the Father Tree.
I also didn’t know that Fred’s father, Friedrich, Donnie’s grandfather (the German-born Trump who changed the family name from Drumpf), died of influenza (erroneously called Spanish Flu, though it originated in Kansas) during the notorious pandemic of 1918, when Fred was only 12. Considering that family tragedy, you’d think Donnie would be sensitive to the pain of losing loved ones to COVID-19.
But obviously that is not the case. Indeed the opposite may be true, that the flu death of Grandpa Friedrich appears to have helped to harden the hearts of his son Fred and grandson Donald, because here we are, zooming through the Coronapocalypse with a Presidunce at the wheel who wears his mask over his eyes.
Back to wieners, they can delicious and/or adorable, but don’t let your wiener ruin your career!
That’s what happened to disgraced Congressman Anthony Weiner who exposed himself to various ladies on the Internet, and therefore the world.
If you’re that kind of exhibitionist, it’s cool; just don’t do it while you’re babysitting, and be discreet; your best option is probably to expose yourself to me or one of my therapists here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. We promise we’ll be very discreet.
Mika Spielberg’s First Live Interview
My featured guest is Mika Spielberg, a.k.a., Mikaela Spielberg, a.k.a., Anxious Chonk Elf (on Twitter), a.k.a., Mika the Anxious Princess (on OnlyFans), erotic artist, PPV (pay-per-view) cam entertainer and budding aerial performer, zooming in to join me live from Tennessee.
This is Mika’s first live interview, so we’re delighted to launch this lovely lady into the public chat world.
She did do a print interview with The U.S. Sun in which she called herself a “sexual creature” to explain why she chose the path of erotic entertainment to express her creativity and earn an independent, honest living.
“When people see Black women owning their bodies in really, really loud ways it can cause… panic… We in this country have a 300-year history of sex panic around the bodies of Black women.”
In our Bedside Chat, she elaborates on just what kind of “sexual creature” she is, and why it’s so controversial.
“When people see Black women owning their bodies in really, really loud ways it can cause, like, panic,” she explains, “like I’ve heard you talk a lot about ‘sex panic’ (the focus of last Saturday’s show)… we in this country have a 300-year history of sex panic around the bodies of Black women.”
When I ask her for her thoughts on Black Lives Matter, she replies, “I hope it does change the way we treat Black bodies as a danger.”
She says that her “Southern European viewers” have the most positive reaction to her ultra-voluptuous body. I have to agree, Capt’n Max having been born in Rome, that—despite being steeped in Catholicism—Southern European attitudes towards sex and the naked body are some of the most liberal, sex-positive in the world.
“In the (American) South, it’s very, very strict,” she continues, revealing that she feels she’s been a victim of “social lynching”; that is, people attempting to destroy her reputation in social media.
Mika’s challenges are, in some ways, eased, and in other ways, compounded by the fact that she grew up in a very prominent Hollywood family.
Her father is filmmaking icon Steven Spielberg, and her mother is actress Kate Capshaw, a.k.a., Kathleen Sue Spielberg.
Mika was adopted “before birth” in 1996. She expresses her deep “love” for her mom and dad several times during our interview. She seems genuine and almost tearful in her declarations of familial affection.
Nevertheless, she appears to be determined to pursue her chosen profession in erotic entertainment, which her famous and rather proper parents, while not explicitly condemning her for it, certainly don’t approve. “They are pro-Blue state, but not pro-sex work,” she explains.
She has fond memories of sharing a love for science fiction and horror films, as well as playing computer games, with her father, the venerable filmmaker, who approached each new gaming system with the unvarnished enthusiasm of a child.
“You know, we’ve had our conflicts,” she admits, “but he always has loved the way my brain functions and he really nurtured that for me… He loves the way I view the world when I’m in a good head space.”
Many fans may have a proprietary attitude towards Mika. The connection they share to her by proxy via her dad’s films might give Spielberg fans the illusion that they have the right—and even the duty—to tell her what to do with her life.
In many ways, Mika—like her siblings Jessica Capshaw, Max Samuel Spielberg, Theo Spielberg, Sasha Rebecca Spielberg, Sawyer Avery Spielberg and Destry Allyn Spielberg—led a charmed life. She attended the Oscars (no relation to Oscar Meyer, despite it’s being Wiener Day), socialized with celebrities and accompanied her dad on film shoots.
She was “spoiled,” she admits, though “not irresponsibly.” The Spielberg children were taught that they should earn their privileges in life, instead of having them served up on a silver platter.
But Mika also had her difficulties. She went to a tough boarding school for a while where she was “bullied viciously,” partly due to her famous last name. Kids can be jealous and cruel, just like adults.
Mika has also suffered from “chronic illness” and mental health issues including anorexia, borderline personality disorder and alcoholism. She was “groomed and abused by predators” (outside her family and their circle of friends) that she met and naively hooked up with during her first bumpy forays into independence.
“Watch your kids,” is her personal advice to parents. “Watch them really closely.”
She has some legal issues and a “significant other” that she prefers not to discuss. There are a few things she’d rather not talk about on her first live interview, and I respect her limits, as I do for all my guests.
Mika does let us know that her favorite Steven Spielberg film is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, made in 1989, seven years before she was born. In this installment to the wildly successful Indiana Jones franchise about a search for the “Holy Grail,” Professor Jones (Harrison Ford) searches for and reunites with a Holy Grail scholar who happens to be his father (Sean Connery).
Is there a special meaning for the director’s daughter in that storyline, I wonder?
“That’s really interesting,” she replies, widening her big brown eyes in epiphany, referencing my work as a therapist who might have heard a thing or two about deep and complicated father-daughter feelings.
I have a personal fondness for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull because it was filmed at my Alma Mater. Yes indeed, boola-boola, the “Marshall College” of the 2008 film is Yale University, where Mika’s brother Theo Spielberg was studying at the time.
If you reside on planet Earth, then there is at least one Steven Spielberg movie, if not the groundbreaking filmmaker’s entire amazing oeuvre, that touches your heart. Given this connection and the legions of fans that grew up nurtured by Spielbergian cinematic fantasies, I suggest that many fans may have a proprietary attitude towards Mika. The connection they share to her by proxy via her dad’s films might give Spielberg fans the illusion that they have the right—and even the duty—to tell her what to do with her life.
Her eyes widen as she exclaims, “Oh my God, you hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly it. People think my choice and stuff is a betrayal.”
Of course, it’s not betrayal at all. Mika adores her father, but she is following her heart (as he raised her to do) in doing erotic art.
“I’m not him,” she states simply. “I’m never going to be him. I just have to be me.”
Being a sex therapist and a friend to many porn stars, I’m a bit biased, of course, but I’m delighted to see that one of my moviemaking heroes, a veritable deity on Hollywood’s Mount Olympus, has raised such a beautiful, courageous, adventurous and very “sexual creature,” and I’m honored to conduct her first live interview.
You’d think it would be easy for a Spielberg daughter to work in porn, but Mika feels she’s been “covertly blacklisted” due to “the name and the fears that other performers have and if they ever want to transition out of the adult industry, like, who have they upset by working with me?”
Good thing the Spielbergs didn’t “irresponsibly” spoil Mika, because right now she needs to be patient.
Then we have a little fun, looking at some video of Mika twerking at “rapid-fire” pace that’s enough to make a wiener eager to get between those buns.
We also show a quick clip of her spinning around a stripper pole which she sent us, though she cringes over it’s “unflattering angle.”
When we searched for her online, a video popped up that shows her playing with a big pink plastic wiener, licking it and putting it between her lovely large breasts. It’s a lovely little clip, but when I suggest that we play it, she balks, saying that “when I first started, I didn’t know how to do my makeup, people thought I was erratic and out of control and that it was a sex tape that accidentally got released.”
I didn’t think that at all; it’s true that she’s got more of a natural look in the clip, less polished than her perfectly made-up, smoothly coiffured appearance on this show, but she’s looking right into the camera as though she knows perfectly well what she’s doing and this is not “accidental” at all.
Nevertheless, not wanting to upset my “anxious” young guest who explains, “I like myself better now,” I forego showing the clip. It’s not like I would be getting a big *scoop* by showing it, since anyone can find it just googling her name followed by “nude.”
It also dawns on me, at that moment, that Steven Spielberg himself might be watching his darling daughter’s first live interview, and I don’t want to give him his first heart attack by showing her naked with a big pink wiener between her luscious boobs, especially since she seems so uncomfortable with it.
Though she says she’s “not ashamed by the exhibitionist side of (her) personality” and “has never had any issue with nudity or exhibitionism” in the beginning of our interview, at this point, she expresses that she has limits, and I respect that. That’s the essence of erotic consent, after all; even if someone says “yes, yes, yes” to everything you say and do, at the moment they say “no,” or even “I’m not comfortable,” you have to stop.
In closing, I ask her to look into her webcam camera and speak directly to her parents who might well watch this sometime soon, or maybe years from now. “Love you guys,” she says, “I’m doing really, really good. Obviously, I’m having ups and downs, but I miss you, and feel free to call me anytime.”
Best of luck to Mika Spielberg in pursuing the “Holy Grail” of her desires.
Jon Jon & His Wiener
As for Jon Jon’s wiener, it didn’t make an appearance until the after-party when we were out in the garden away from the cameras.
Jon Jon’s is what I call a “performance wiener.” Not only does he have to get hard and stay hard for each scene, burrowing like a dachshund into the deepest, tightest holes, he has to climax on command.
So, seeing how the human wieners of the world need representation on Wiener Day in Bonoboville, we show a couple of excerpts from a hot XXX scene between the beautiful Katrina Jade, Jon Jon and his prodigious wiener.
Jon Jon’s is what I call a “performance wiener.” Not only does he have to get hard and stay hard for each scene, burrowing like a dachshund into the deepest, tightest holes, but he also has to climax on command.
We talk about the classic question that men with a bigger-than-average wiener always ask: How can I break into porn?
Jon Jon, a 17-year veteran of the adult industry, tries to disabuse such men of their pussy pie-in-the-sky fantasies of porn stardom, pointing out the differences between having sex with your sweetie, perhaps making a home movie or two on your phone, and performing under the hot, high-pressure, lights-camera-action demands of “corporate porn.”
We discuss the importance of being relaxed enough to feel comfortable, but not so relaxed that Mr. Wiener falls asleep on the job.
We also talk about Black Lives Matter (though not too active in the movement, due to elderly family concerns in the Coronapocalypse, Jon Jon is supportive of the movement), as well as the plight of our old friend, porn icon, Ron Jeremy, now sitting in Twin Towers jail on charges of “rape” and sexual assault. Though he’s understandably hesitant to declare the charges “false,” Jon Jon says he’s hung out with Ron around women in and out of porn many times and never seen him engage in such behavior.
At this point, Capt’n Max gives an impassioned defense of Ron and a call to all sex performers and porn lovers to defend our brothers and sisters who are being packed away in America’s Prison Industrial Complex (PIC) on specious charges, because, well, you could be next.
Prison is a long-term chokehold.
Capt’n Max knows something about that, having been arrested more than 22 times for his groundbreaking work as a reader-written sex magazine publisher, and spending 18 months in prison, because he made a deal so his pregnant wife at the time could get out (after she gave birth, shackled to the bed, in jail) to raise their newborn baby.
We’ve been talking about Ron’s situation ever since he was arrested a few weeks ago, including on last Saturday’s Bedside Chat 16 with the brilliant JoAnn Wypijewski whose book, What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About #MeToo: Essays on Sex, Authority & the Mess of Life,” I review in “Behind the #MeToo Headlines,” in this weekend’s Counterpunch, “America’s Best Political Newsletter” (Outback Magazine).
We also give a shoutout to Ana “Muy Cavrona” who is now home from the hospital and getting better every day. Yay!
Another announcement: I will be Virtual DomCon 2020 Mistress of Ceremonies!
Yes, it’s too bad we can’t all get together to spank, shackle and worship each other in person, but the Coronapocalypse is upon us, so DomCon LA 2020 will be a virtual experience we can all enjoy from the comfort of our couches, cages or queening stools. All I know at the moment is that it will take place August 28-30, 2020. Check out DomCon 2018 video: FemDoms of the Wild: The Bonobo Way for a glimpse into the in-person DomCon experience, and stay tuned for 2020 details…
Also a reminder to “make like bonobos, not baboons” and follow the 12 Steps to Liberating Your Inner Bonobo in The Bonobo Way of peace through pleasure, and help to save the real bonobos who are highly endangered and as susceptible to the Coronavirus as we are.
For various reasons—from sheer exhaustion to wiener overload to goddess-knows-what-else—most of our staff evacuates right after the show, leaving the rest of us with a variety of delicious wieners to consume.
The “group photo” is just me and Harry Sapien wearing the flashing cat ears bestowed upon him by Diana, his boobie prize for having lost their first chess match. Not a cat lover, he’s a bit perturbed to be a Chess Cheshire Cat, but happy enough to hold his “girlfriend,” the Stormy Daniels blow-up doll.
As we munch wiener dogs and wiener cake (baked by Sunshine) and sip drinks with wiener ice cubes, the Captain and I engage in deep discussions (bordering on heated debates) for many tempestuous hours.
Then, like bonobos, we reconcile with big hugs, declarations of love, wiener play and reconciliatory orgasms, then drift off into a world of impossible dreams that could be a scene in a Spielberg movie.
July 18, 2020 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.
Bedside Chat 17 PHOTO ALBUM
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