Jade Song, Luckyass Leslie, Brenda, Capt’n Max, Dr. Suzy, Cristal, Manuela, Madam V, Trixie Plenty. Photo: Alex Saglimbeni

Length 1:28:03     Date: Nov. 09, 2013

It’s the Scorpio birthday of the illustrious, glorious and notorious executive producer of The Dr. Susan Block Show, Pr. Maximillian R. Leblovic di Lobkowicz di Filangieri, aka Capt’n Max, aka “Max the Butler,” aka Massimilliano, aka Massimo, aka Mickey, my hubby of 21.5 years, my great love. So we spend the entire show, broadcasting live from the new Bonoboville at LAX, celebrating Max’s amazing life (still going strong!) and his 42 years of revolutionary, ground-breaking publishing in Southern California and around the world.

Nowadays, virtually all readers are writers via their blogs and social media. But years before the Internet, Max, along with his partner Fluxus movement artist Willem de Ridder, pioneered the genre of “reader-written” media, meaning all the articles and photos he published in his newspapers and magazines were submitted by the readers themselves, just like most of what is “posted” on the web today. Max’s publications (recently documented in Richardson Magazine) included The LA Star, Love Magazine, Hate, Finger, God the Magazine, Annie Sprinkle’s Hot Shit, Meetings with Remarkable People, Beverly Hills: The Magazine, The Brentwood Bla-Bla and Dr. Block’s Journal.

We start the show with Max’s first birthday in the little Vatican City hospital in Rome where they send the Popes. We meet Max as the baby Prince “Massimo,” along with some of the decadent, eccentric and loving royal relatives on both sides (Lobkowicz and Filangieri) of his distinguished family tree, and we experience his first rebellion against the nuns who tried to train and constrain him. Then we sail on a big ship with little Massimo, now seven years old, standing tall at the tip of the great vessel’s prow, pretending to steer à la Capt’n Max, with dreams as big as the endless ocean carrying him to America.

But dreams at sea aren’t facts on the ground, or as Max likes to say: The Ideal is the Enemy of the Real. Though we set out to tell Max’s entire life story (so far) in one show, by 11:45 pm, we’ve barely gotten to age 14. You might call it “Early Life of a Sex Revolutionary.” So we fast-forward through the next half century in the last 10 minutes, at which point a horde of beautiful dancing girls rush in with cake, candles, ecstatic “Happy Birthday!” shrieks, giggles and whipped cream kisses.

The problem (if indeed it’s a problem) is that Max’s whole life weaves like a tapestry of fascinating stories that lead to more stories, as so many of our lives do. Ever since he invited me to dinner 27 years ago, Max has been telling me the stories of his aristocratic, revolutionary life, seducing me into falling in love with him, one story at a time. Some of Max’s stories find their way into this blog, our shows and our old travelogues, and one day, I will put them all together into a book, the working title of which is Travels with Max. But first, I have to finish writing The Bonobo Way, among doing a zillion other things, including just living and loving every moment of my almost magical life with Capt’n Max. Hopefully, I will get it all done very soon, but in the meantime, as Max loves to say: The Goal is the Journey.

Though our planned featured guests get waylaid in New York for trying to take an “Emotional Support” certified dragon on Jet-Blue (proving what I love to say: The Best-Laid Plans May Not Get You Laid the Way You Planned), the bevy of pole-dancing, ass-shaking beauties (see photo above) more than makes up for their loss. Max is properly feted with whacky gifts, flavored booze and spiked cake (thank you, Chef Trixie!). But the prize for stellar birthday gift of the night goes to JuxLii’s “designer weed” collection of Cannabelly edibles and lotion-potions, including delicious handcrafted caramels in coconut, orange and honey flavors, cannabis-infused healing salve, lip balm, extra-virgin olive oil and extra virgin coconut oil. We distribute the edibles amongst the beauties which—combined with a visit to my wardrobe for feather boas—gets them up on the stripper pole. Other guests almost gobble up all the luscious pot coconut oil, too—right out of the jar!—but I manage to save some for sex. Yes, extra-virgin coconut oil is my favorite lubricant (as long as condoms aren’t involved), and the cannabis infusion adds just the right tingle to top off a memorable birthday celebration with a marvelous, mutual, multi-orgasmic grande finale.

And many more!