Lulu (with Pocket Rocket) and Dr. Susan Block (in Munkey-Barz, with Dirty Tequila). Insert: Erica. Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:39:00     Date: May 31, 2014

In the final moments of the last night of Masturbation Month 2014, we celebrate and venerate the fine art and science of spanking the monkey in the Bonobo Way with a couple of hot MILFs, a celebrity ex and one of the best masturbatory sex toys ever: a nice hard stripper pole.

In-studio, live on DrSuzy.Tv is sexy, sleek, brunette Lulu, and oooh-la-la, does Lulu love to masturbate! She also enjoys sex of all kinds (including swinging) several times a day and night (even while sleeping) with her boyfriend of two and a half years, Dean, who is also in-studio, but since he is a famous billionaire, rock star or CIA agent (guess which!), we can’t show his face. Though we do hear him slurping up salt from Lulu’s delectable nipples, as well as gasping as she mischievously bites his, during Bonoboville Communion with their new favorite party drink: dangerously delicious Dirty Tequila.

Joining us via webcam is Erica, one of our favorite therapists (available for phone sex therapy and webcam) here at the Block Institute. Though Erica can’t share our Dirty Tequila (hopefully webcam technology will progress to the point that someday soon we can pour her a shot through a USB device), she does lick her own nipples with ease. Then, generous soul that she is, she leaves her magnificent 38DD naturals on display for the big boob-lovers amongst us to ogle for most of the second half of the show.

Erica and I discuss the sad case of Elliot Rodger. I’ve gotten a pretty strong response to my blog on Rodger (also posted in Counterpunch, “America’s Best Political Newsletter”). Though Rodger was exceptionally “mad” in multiple ways, Erica and I agree that his virulent misogynistic feelings toward women are, unfortunately, not uncommon. In fact, some of our beloved clients feel just as much rage toward the “fairer sex,” but we help them to channel their fury into various forms of therapy, including fantasy roleplay, instead of shooting it out on the street—or anywhere outside their bitter, overly entitled, sex-starved little brains.

Then, out of the blue, in walks my old radio producer from KIEV days, John Clark, widower ex-husband of Lynn Redgrave and star character actor of various theatrical and cinematic gems, including, most recently, “Adult Swim.” In breathless, breaking-news style, John informs us that his estranged 22-year-old son Zach went to kindergarten and elementary school in Topanga with the media’s favorite menace-of-the-moment, the Elliot Rodger. Though we’re all sick-to-vomiting of the sniveling shooter, we have to admit we’re intrigued to hear what Zach remembers of his classmate. However, Zach, who is currently not speaking to John (due to unrelated reasons), is also not speaking with the press… yet (though perhaps you’ll soon be reading it in the National Enquirer).

Weapons of Mass Discussion range from The Hunger Games of Hollywood and The Killing Fields of Santa Barbara to murders all over the world committed by the trained killers, blasé bombers and inhuman drones of America’s Military Industrial Complex as well as within our ever-expanding, more and more privatized Prison Industrial Complex.

But we always return to Weapons of Mass Seduction and sex, sex, sex, with a heaping helping of love. Lulu strips down to her crimson undies and shows off her perfectly shaved-bare vulva, then hops up on the RadioSUZY1 stripper pole table for a Last Minutes of Masturbation Month Climactic spin around the pole, giving John a real lulu of a lapdance, making him the proud owner of a boner as hard as that stripper pole and almost as long.

Since she jills off in the car so often, we give Lulu a Doc Johnson Original Pocket Rocket, perfect for the sex-loving gal-on-the-go. Which brings us to our motto(s): Drop Pocket Rockets, Not Patriot Missiles! Make Like Bonobos, Not Baboons! Make Love, Not War. Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you… and even though it’s no longer Masturbation Month.