Chelsea Demoiselle with The Bonobo Way, Dr. Suzy with (Easter) Eggs and (Matzo) Balls, Jack Nice with Oud. Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:40:01 Date: April 04, 2015

by Dr. Susan Block

It’s another rollicking Last Supper Seder on DrSuzy.Tv, as we toast and taste the convergence of Easter Eve and the second night of Passover. Apologies to our Muslim brothers and sisters for not also blasphemously celebrating an Islamic Spring holiday, but the only one we know of is Persian New Year, and we already profaned that one on the Bonobo Spring Equinox.

We do stray from monotheism with a tip of our shtreimel to the ancient Greek “Resurrection of Persephone,” the Spring rebirth of the Holy Daughter who soars up from the depths of Hell to the open arms of her Mother Demeter who is so delighted to see the Fruit of Her Loins that She showers the world in Spring. This “myth” happens to precede the Easter Resurrection of Jesus, the Son ascending to his Holy Father in Heaven, by several hundred years. And then, there’s the res-Erection of Dionysus who could be Christ’s twin brother. Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, in this 90-minute Bonoboville “Family” Easter/Pesach Seder/Egging we manage to offend every major monotheistic religion and a few of the pagan ones, so if you’re religiously thin-skinned, do not watch, listen to or get anywhere near this show.

We also make fun of Scientology, but doesn’t everyone who’s not a Scientologist? We agree with Neil deGrasse Tyson: the wild fairy tales and horrific violence perpetrated by the world’s major religions have wreaked far more destruction than the poppycock of L. Ron Hubbard, John Travolta and Tom Cruise. Tax ‘em all!

“Eggs ‘n’ Balls” is the show theme, so our table overflows with oodles of Easter eggs, chocolate malt and chicken-laid, in all the colors of Spring. For balls, we have authentic frum Shmurah Matzo Ball Soup. I also juggle three matzo balls (not from the soup) and magically pull an Easter egg out of Chelsea Demoiselle’s yoni, as Jack Nice plays Syrian Easter songs on the Oud, and our cups runneth over with insanely sweet Manichevitz. Our Seder Plate also runneth over with symbolic foods (Haroset, Marror made with Chrein horseradish, parsley, shank bone and one of the Easter eggs, burned for Pesach), interdenominational cross-references and sex toys. This is Bonoboville, after all, so we roleplay the Easter Resurrection with a Divine Interventions “Jesus Jackhammer” dildo rising up out of a Vulva Puppet with majestic irreverence. Praise the Lord and the Lady… Speaking of ladies, we also sex up the customary Pesach wine-drinking by combining it with #FreeTheNipple Bonoboville Communion. Bouncing salty boobies, juggling matzo balls and “Lox et Veritas” thong panties; this is not your Bubbe’s Seder. It’s not your Grammy’s Easter either. Our best advice to consenting adults celebrating the resurrection: Get nailed.

And then there’s BDSM: 50 Shades of Pesach and Easter. Both holidays reek of suffering for some greater good, in slavery (not the fun consensual kind), on the cross, getting scourged, being forced to sit in torturously interminable religious services… No wonder so much bombing and beheading has been perpetrated in the name of these great mono-religions! We prefer The Bonobo Way.

By the way, there’s no historic proof of either the Easter crucifixion of Jesus (let alone the resurrection!) nor is there any evidence for the Passover Story of the Hebrews being slaves in Egypt. But no matter, we humans eat up stories of suffering, even if they’re pure fantasy. When we know we’re only playing, consensual “suffering” can be erotic and even fun. For example, one of my favorite parts of the traditional Seder has always been “Dayenu,” and my love for the lively song was greatly enhanced when Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and his family taught me and Capt’n Max the Persian Jewish tradition of smacking each other on the shoulder with green onions during the chorus, presumably to remind us of our suffering as slaves. All that harmless smacking makes a good song even more fun and, here in Bonoboville, we make the ritual even naughtier by smacking each other on the ass with celery. Joining us from Norway to sing one of Dayenu’s verses is award-winning actor and former Satmar Hasid, Luzer Twersky, featured in this week’s New York Times. We keep the ass-smacking going into the after-party, discovering that a good stiff celery stalk makes a great, albeit perishable paddle.

Dayenu Spanking! LOX et Veritas! Photo: L’Erotique

Also joining us by phone is my self-proclaimed “son,” Dr. Mars, and my other son, Dark Phoenix, both looking forward to celebrating kinky Mom & Dad’s 23^rd Wedding anniversary next Saturday, April 11^th, as well as our forthcoming April 18^th show with riveting political journalist, artist and former “Breaking the Set” host, the amazing Abby Martin (check out her art show at The Lab the night before). Speaking of politics, the Pesach theme of freedom is brought home with some truth talk from Capt’n Max about police brutality and Obama as the King of Drones.

No holiday meal is complete without dessert which Jack Nice gobbles up from the honey pot between Chelsea Demoiselle’s thighs in the after-party. He chows down with such gusto, we wonder if now she’s laying chocolate eggs…

Happy Spring Holiday of Your Choice! Happy Bonobo Spring!

Watch “PERSEPHONE HAS RISEN”

© April 5, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.