Length: 102:32 minutes        Date: 07/14/2012

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Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité…Sexe! That’s the name of the game when we celebrate Bastille Day on The Dr. Susan Block Show with the spirit of the French Revolution, French wine, French flags, French fries (though they’re really Belgian), French Can-Can (performed in the traditional manner, with no panties), French ballet (danced naked), French songs (sung during Sybian rides), French bread (used as dildos) and, of course, lots of French kissing and French sex, aided and abetted by very strong, very French, practically hallucinogenic Absente Absinthe (now made with real wormwood!).

Even before the Absinthe, I attempt to open the show en français:

Les Frères et les Soeurs, les Amants et les Pécheurs, les Artistes et les Exhibitionnistes, les Voyeurs et les Connaisseurs….Tout vous Enfants du Sexe, et nous sommes tous les Enfants du Sexe. Nous pouvons ou pouvoir ne pas être des Enfants de Dieu, mais nous sommes tous les Enfants du Sexe. Peux j’entendre ‘Amen’?  Peux j’entendre ‘Awomen’?  Joyeux Quatorze Juillet!  Joyeux Jour Bastille!  Ou comme nous disons dans l’anglais “Happy Bastille Day!”

And then the coquettes and baguettes go frolicking through an American interpretation of a French adventure, against an enchanted backdrop of bleu, blanc et rouge erotic francophilia, whimsically designed by my deliciously twisted producer, Tasia Sutor, who looks like a cross between a can-can girl, a beret-clad artiste and a French pastry.

Bastille Day commemorates the “storming of the Bastille” on the 14^th of July, 1789, one of the opening shots of the French Revolution, in which old ideas about tradition, hierarchy, monarchy and religious authority were abruptly overthrown by the new Enlightenment principles of Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité.  Though the “storming of the Bastille” has a sexy ring to it, the event itself was rather bloody, including a mob lynching of the Bastille Governor, followed over the years, by massive executions via the famous French guillotine.  Here at the Speakeasy, we’d rather make love, not war.  Instead of the guillotine, we just spank your bare bottom with a hard baguette.

This show includes a tribute to one of our favorite show guests and friends, the wonderful, gorgeous, sexy and hilarious Holly Stevens, Queen of Clown Porn and Queen of Our Hearts, who succumbed to a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer at the age of 30.  I don’t know if Holly had ever been to France, but I do know she lived by those Enlightened French principles: Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité…et Sexe, right up until the end.

Featured Guests:

Prinzzess Felicity Jade:  What’s a French Revolution without a little sexy, spoiled royalty?  This is the royal Prinzzess’ third appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show, and she’s lovelier and more regal than ever.  Honoring Bastille Day, I realize that she also bears a strong resemblance to living legendary French actress Brigitte Bardot, whose face became that of “Marianne,” symbol of French liberty.  As always, though Prinzzess starts in on the action a bit tentatively, as soon as she gets naked, she steals the show, riding the Sybian into an operatic climax, screaming loud enough to start another French revolution.

Bella Luciano: Though her name is Italian, Bella’s sex is quite French, as she French kisses Kitty throughout the show.  She arrives at the Speakeasy just after having sex with ErotiqueTV CEO Eric John, who satisfies her so well, we need to pull out the “big guns” to make her cum again.  Our biggest gun is the Sybian, which she rides with a sizeable dildonic attachment that “storms her Bastille” into a riproaring orgasm.

Kitty Twinkle Toes: Apparently, Kitty can’t get enough of us (nor we of her). Just a week after Kafkaesque Sex, she returns to ride and squirt (éjaculation femelle—ooh la LA!) on our Sybian again, this time, as a blonde. A true Francophile with some French ancestry, Kitty even speaks some French.  A former Joffrey ballerina, she also dances for us en pointe—with and without her tutu—and does obscene things with baguettes and Eiffel Tower figurines.  Ooh la-la!

Faouzi “Faz” Brahimi: Official spokesman for Bastille Day Los Angeles (French fun for the whole family), Faz makes sweet love to our ears with his sexy French accent, not to mention singing La Marseillaise and Frère Jacques during the Sybian rides.  He also speaks to us about growing up in Lille, France (his family was originally from Algiers), Bastille Day in France (like the 4^th of July with champagne instead of beer and foie gras instead of hot dogs), and teaches us how to (correctly) pronounce “Cannes,” “Can-Can” and a bunch of French dirty words.

Minette Chocolat: You may recall this lovely burlesque dancer from our Suspense and Suspension show (now playing on DrSusanBlock.tv) when she shook her bouncy booty onstage as part of her “audition” for the position of copy editor in BonoboVille (yes, our job interviews are a little “different” here).  Needless to say,  Minette got the job and is now also one of the Institute’s most popular therapists—providing telephone, webcam and sext therapy in English, Spanish and French (Call 213.670.0066 for info)!  For our Jour de la Bastille Spectacle, besides tweeting for RadioSuzy1 and taking show notes for this blog, she lends French language support to the rest of us manglers of la langue française, including the revelation of the term petite salope, which those classy French utter in their sultry style when they want to call you a “little slut.”

Callers:

Derek wants to know how he can get over the shame he has about his foot fetish. Well, Derek, the hottest women wear the highest heels and appreciate someone who knows how to rub their aching feet… After a nice massage, it’s relatively easy to turn rubbing into sucking or tickling or whatever your foot-fetishistic heart desires.

Natasha from Miami wonders why there’s still so much controversy over whether or not the G-Spot exists. We wonder too, seeing as we know it exists. A discussion of G-Spots, clitorises and labias ensues, followed by squirting and another Sybian ride.

Weapons of Mass Discussion:

French Revolution, Sexual Revolution, The Storming of the Bastille, The Lynching of the Governor of Bastille, Marie Antoinette, “Let Them Eat Cake,” The Hot D’Or Film Festival, The Cannes Film Festival, MipCom, Foot Fetish, Bonobos, Whatever Howard Stern Does We Do Better, Unshaven French Pussies, The Eiffel Tour is So Phallic, Bastille Day LA,  The Marquis de Sade, Things the Belgians Made That Everyone Thinks Are French, Freedom Fries, Traditional French Cabaret, Topless French Beaches, Monokinis, Male Ballerinas, Captain Max As An American Fugitive In France, G-Spot Controversy, RIP Hollie Stevens, The Bonobo Way

Performance Erotica:

Riding the Sybian While Stroking a Big Baguette, Panty-less Can Can Dance, French Kissing, French (Oral) Sex, Sybian Rides, Female Ejaculation, Baguette Spankings, Absente Absinthe Shots, Smoking Pussies with Adult Play Parlor Peter Piper, Ballet En Pointe, Pole Dancing, More Stroking Our Baguettes, Singing La Marseillaise and Frère Jacques During Sybian Rides, Multiple Nude Boobs, Toe-Sucking, Showing Off Juicy Clits & Labia, Squirting, Condomania Condoms, Toasting the Memory of Holly Stevens, Using the French Translation of My 10 Commandments of Pleasure to Cover Bare Boobs, Rickshaw Rides, Naked Hula-Hooping

Who are the fabulous and talented people that make this show possible?  Check out our BonoboVille Staffbox.