Suspense & Suspension
Length: 104:27 minutes Date: 06/16/2012
What a strange show. We start the live broadcast dangling in suspense as to if and when a tardy porn star would arrive, especially since my other five featured guests had cancelled, all of them pleading ill, shortly before showtime. But that suspense soon gives way to erotic suspension as a couple members of our audience step up to the RadioSUZY1 plate to present ethereal, artistic rope bondage, dangling from the Speakeasy ceiling like human chandeliers.
After an oddly soundless and motionless orgasm on the Sybian, we’re back to suspense. In our virtually guest-less state, we decide to use the show itself to “audition” two applicants for one available position here in Bonoboville, much to the delight of our in-studio audience. This time, the suspense lies in who will get the job (and no, we haven’t decided yet). Meanwhile we’re getting a stream of texts from the tardy porn star, saying she’s “on the way,” “going to be late,” “stuck in traffic” and finally, hopelessly “lost.” Twenty minutes after the live broadcast is over, she shows up, proffering passionate apologies, seductive gazes and booty shimmies, leaving me no choice (after sulking for a half hour) but to punish her tardy porn star ass with a sound spanking, paddling, cropping, strap-on dildo-ing and butt-plugging to beat the band. Actually, I don’t know about the band, but I sure did beat her beautiful buns, and at least, after all that suspense, we bonobos got some resolution!
Speaking of bonobos, this show is also a celebration of the recently announced sequencing of the bonobo genome. The “suspense” is over, brothers and sisters, and now what we long believed has been confirmed: Bonobos are our closest living relatives, along with common chimpanzees, over 98% genetically similar to human beings. Maybe now that geneticists have recognized this, our highly endangered Kissin’ Cousins, who swing from the trees as well as with each other, will get some respect–as well as money for research and their protection.
Charly B: This retired truck driver is now a master of erotic rope art, the evidence of which is laid out in the beautiful coffee table book of his work D.O.M (an acronym he uses to describe himself—a Dirty Old Man). He also gives us a demonstration of his suspension-rope-art skills, hanging his nude model, Mary, from the Womb Room ceiling rafters like a duck dangling in the window of a Chinese butcher shop.
Mary: Like the name of the Virgin Mother implies, this Mary arrives here a Speakeasy virgin, but she certainly does not leave a Sybian virgin. During her first-ever act of public masturbation, she somehow manages to ride this dream device with a poker face and without making a sound when she comes. Is it stage fright, or a trick of the trade? Such stoicism is a useful asset when doing suspension bondage, but to have a Sybian orgasm without showing emotion or making a sound is rather eerie. Then again, eerie can be erotic.
Master D: A recurring RadioSuzy1 visitor, Master D gives us the text-by-text updates from the tardy porn star. He also gives me a slightly “shocking” and ticklish little tutorial on how to use my new KinkLab electrifying magic wand, a birthday present from Kinky Eddie. My personal favorite is the brush attachment, though talk about static electricity–yow!
Lan & Adja: When I realize that none of my featured guests are arriving, and there’s only so much suspension and silent coming we can handle, I impulsively decide to subject these two innocent, unassuming editorial position candidates–who thought they were only coming to “watch”–to an “alternative” sort of skills assessment by putting them on the show. Lan demonstrates his quick wit and impressive ability to dance like a dork, while Adja shows off her charm and burlesque booty in sheer black undies and corset.
Nova Brooks: Better late than a complete flake, Nova is the “tardy porn star” who keeps us in suspense throughout the show. She knows she really deserves her “punishment” when I give it to her with paddles, a JuxLeather riding crop, a Kinky Eddie strap-on dildo and a butt plug with a tail (from our deliciously nasty friends at Adult Play Parlor)! She took her punishment well, with Munkey-Barz, so we’ll have her back on the show next time she’s in town, even though she is such a naughty girl. I won’t be surprised if she shows up late again, just to get another round of “punishment.”
Weapons of Mass Discussion: Bonobo Genome Sequencing, BonoboVille, Gay Pride Month, Missing Guests, Late Guests,The Best Laid Plans May Not Get You Laid the Way You Planned, Bondage, Sexual Fine Art Photography, Rope During Foreplay Vs. Rope During Intercourse, Families, Sister Fantasy, Greener Grass Photography, Baby Diapers, Baby Aspirin & Baby Talk, Different Degrees of Sexual Electrocution, Various Absentee Excuses, Types of Shibari, No Two Titties Are Alike, Punishment, Bonobos
Performance Erotica: Sucking Big Phallic Rainbow Sucker for Gay Pride Month, D.O.M. (Dirty Old Man) Book, Rope Bondage, Soft Bondage, Suspension from Ceiling, Lessons in Using the Electric Wand, Job Candidate Titty & Ass Shots of Agwa, Silent Sybian Orgasm, Naked Flying Rope Tango, Adult Play Parlor Gifts, BDSM play, Booty-popping, Burlesque Dance, On-Air Job Interviews, Trapeze, Flogging, Spanking, Anal Abuse, Butt Plug with Tail from Adult Play Parlor