“My Oberon, what visions I have seen! Methought I was enamoured of an ass…”

Porn Stars Jessica Jaymes and Nikita Denise join me and Snake Evie for A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream

So opens “A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream” (playing tonight on RadioSuzy1TV) with my Commedia Erotica rendition of a dreamy, horny Fairy Queen Titania, and so begins our Sex Magickal Mystery Tour through the Enchanted Forest of Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy, filled with the exciting erotic antics of porn stars and professors, fire dancers and art dealers, fairy queens and asses, a crooning priest and a singing whore. The Bard has never been so bawdy.

With Miss Piglet & Horse (Ass?)

Opening the show in bed with me is my Awomen Chorus, including the luscious Evie Delatosso, adorable wingéd wood nymph Miss Piglet and pinstripe-underwearing Speakeasy-style Moll Goddess Jade, everyone getting into the wet dreamy swing of things, playing with Vibrating Gloves, Two Fingers & a Thumb Fun, munching Chinese Aphrodisiacs and squirting each other with water pistols. Next up is the subject of many of our viewers’ wet dreams: sexy schoolteacher-turned-porn-star Jessica Jaymes. With a teacher’s command of the classroom and a burlesque dancer’s sense of sex, the Unsinkable Miss Jaymes strips down and shows off her sleek hot bod, including pierced clit and nipples, driving everyone in the Speakeasy wild, particularly a hapless, horny literature professor that she plucks out of the audience and teases to within an inch of his PhD. Later, when Kim, a married woman with her recurring wet dreams about her studly yard boy, calls in for help, Jessica proclaims her need for orgasmic release. Ever the hospitable hostess, I slide my discreet but powerful Finger-Fitting Vibe over my middle finger, gently and then rather forcefully rubbing Jessica’s juicy vulva into a Speakeasy Cathedral-shattering climax. In between contractions, my Awomen Chorus pull out their squirting dildos and water pistols, shooting our hot bods with streams of refreshing H20, turning us into even more of a wet dream. Now that’s my kind of shoot-out. What an orgasm! What a scene. Praise the Ladies! Amen and Awomen.

Showing Off Former Schoolteacher & Wet Dream Queen Jessica Jaymes

Jessica Jaymes is our Wet Dream Queen. But the Wet Dreamy “Couple of the Night” turns out to be smoking-hot Evie Delatosso and Austrian super-hunk Jay Lassiter, meeting for the first time ever right here on my broadcast bed.

Evie Delatosso and Jay Lassiter on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Note the cock checking out the cock. Photo: Crystal Eyez Ent.

Regular RadioSuzy1TV viewers will remember Evie, the ravishing, all-natural, green-eyed brunette who seduced me in the after-party of my Born Again Squirting Spanksgiving and other shows. Now Evie is an up-and-coming porn star, and credits (or blames ;-) me for inspiring her to choose that path (but did she name herself after my snake Evie?). Jay is a charming, well-hung Austrian super-hunk (a slimmer, sexier Arnold the Governator) who appeared on RadioSuzy1 a few weeks ago and happens to be a buddy of our friend Axel (The G-Man) Braun. As soon as I introduce Jay to Evie, it’s pure lust at first sight; they make love with passionate midsummer-hot intensity on two different beds, the stage and the dance floor.

A Midsummer Nights Wet Dream @ Dr. Suzys Speakeasy

Also appearing in the Enchanted Forest of Sex: Sultry Porn Star/Domina Nikita Denise (another great guest on RadioSuzy1) showing off the erotic obedience of her adorable pet slavegirl, both hailing from the mystical fairy castles of Prague, sweet petite Charlotte whose fantasy is to get breast implants (ah, the wet dreams of modern girls in a porn star world or as Puck says so pithily, “Lord, what fools these mortals be“), erotic exotic Supermodel Eden, our knock-out Bartending Bacchante Shannon Coronado, award-winning Speakeasy filmmaker Canaan Brumley, faux filmmaker Wallace Jackson, BonoboWay Collaborator and Melodramatic Queen Sara Sioux Robertson and some of her sweet ‘n’ sexy Melo Girls-in-Waiting, lanky Dancemaster and Mad Hatter DJ Juicy Jay and his loose-limbed consort Lil Lizz-E, lovely Lorelai, the amazing Annie Body (in disguise) and Mercy 44FF (another recent RadioSuzy1 guest), she of the gigantic all-natural knockers, and yes, the woman really is a size 44FF, and actually seems larger.

Curt Bonnem sings “Morals of Society” from “The Beastly Bombing” while Evie Delatosso, Jay Lassiter, Jessica Jaymes, Goddess Jade, Miss Piglet and I play on The Bed

Just like in Shakespeare, marvelous musical interludes punctuate the “action.” First and foremost is a return engagement by our favorite drooling Catholic priest (played by the outrageously talented Curt Bonnem) who sings a rousing rendition of “The Morals of Society” from the LA Weekly Best Musical of the Year, “The Beastly Bombing,” while flashing his Cardinal red panties from under his priestly cassock. We are also serenaded by the lovely voice of spunky singer/sex worker/urban geisha/poet Mariko Passion in between dreams.

DJ Juicy Jay and Lizz-E . Photo: Suzy

Speaking of dreams, sleeping is America’s favorite pastime. There’s the Republican Party, the Democratic Party, and there’s the biggest party of ‘em all: the Great American Slumber Party. We are Sleeping through Perma-War and Dreaming of Love…

Lost in the Enchanted Forest . Photo: Jim Groves

Suddenly, as we begin the after-party, our Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream catches fire as Raiden and Jenai swirl through the congregation in their gigantic Shakespearean hoop skirts and make magic with fire, turning the Speakeasy Piano Room into a mini Burning Man. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! Speakeasy Inferno! Raiden and Jenai’s fantasy of erotic hellfire looks a lot more interesting than most people’s ideas of heaven. Check out the raw, uncut footage and you can see me in some frames with Evie and Jay, cringing every time a giant flame whooshes around my grandmother’s Steinway. But Raiden and Jenai are real pros, leaving nothing burned or melted, not even a dirty ashtray, in their blazing wake.

Fire Dancers Raiden and Jenai perform at Dr. Suzys Speakeasy (while Evie Delatosso and I are blown away in the background) .

And that’s only the part of the show that’s on camera. While I frolick with porn stars and fire goddesses, Brother Dave schmoozes with investors in the Institute and our upcoming Erotic Hotel. Speaking of technology, sharp viewers will also notice that we are having a few more technical difficulties than usual on this otherwise marvelous evening. Well, RadioSuzy1TV is the original reality TV, and our reality is that we need a new technical director (if you have any ideas, please email tech@blockbooks.com).

Sitting with my ass (and on my ass) wondering when the tech problems will be solved. Fairy Queen Titania costume & wings by Gene. Hat by me. . . Photo: David Kaplan

Tech or no tech, most everybody seems to be having an unusually fabulous time. Eventually, I also have a stellar good time, getting my kitty licked by the fabulous Jessica Jaymes and getting my clock cleaned by the beautiful blue-green snake goddess (though this time, the snake is her tongue) Kat Herself.

Kat makes me lose my hat. . Photo: Lydia Teez

And studly Jay Lassiter caps off our Wet Dream with his Money Shot across my upturned bottom, painting my ass into a jismy Jackson Pollock.

Jay and Evie prepare my ass for the Shakespearean Money Shot Photo: Crystal Eyez Ent.

This is fitting, as “ass” is a recurring theme in Shakespeare’s original Midsummer Night’s Dream. There’s a character called Bottom. With a name like Bottom, we already know he’s an ass (what Harold Bloom calls a “sublime clown”), and he becomes even more of one when Puck gives him the actual head of an ass (donkey) just before he sprinkles Titania’s eyes with fairy dust, making her fall in love with Bottom the Ass (well, maybe he’s hung like a horse). In some ways, Bottom proves to be the most poetic of the play’s characters. Sometimes, an ass is sheer poetry.

Jessica Jaymes Poetic Ass stars in “A Midsummer Nights Wet Dream” on The Dr. Susan Block Show .

Speaking of ass, throughout A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream, dozens of happy dreamers – young and old, knock-out gorgeous and average-everyday – are getting some. Technical snafus and all, it’s another joyous celebration of collective ecstasy at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy, our little piece of erotic heaven on earth.

The Speakeasy Congregation: Amen & Awomen! . Photo: Lydia Teez

And to those who might view these explicit expressions of orgiastic, consensual lust as an emanation directly from hell, I must quote Puck yet again:

“If we shadows have offended,

Think but this and all is mended:

That you have but slumb’red here,

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme

No more yielding but a dream. ”

Act V, Scene II

With Juicy Jay and Lizz-E .

Don’t be afraid. It’s only a dream you are in. Even if you wake up with an ass…. Listen Free or Watch the Wet Dream Stream…

Bonobo Expert De Waal Refutes New Yorker & Gives Me a Friendly Bonobo Link!

In the Huffington Post‘s “Bonobos and Paula Jones” (with a longer version on ESkeptic), the world’s foremost bonobo expert Dr. Frans de Waal has mounted an excellent defense of bonobos against the New Yorker “Prosecutor” Ian Parker’s trumped up charges that they are really killer apes, or at least aren’t “nice” enough to qualify for the nickname of “The Make Love Not War” chimpanzees. I am honored to have my Counterpunch piece “Bonobo Bashing in the New Yorker” also in The Bloggamy) linked by Counselor de Waal as an expert witness in the matter of whether genito-genital-rubbing, often with apparent orgasm, is indeed a form of sex; of course it is. As De Waal points out, prudish primatologists and journalists “will say that bonobos are ‘very affectionate,’ when the apes in fact engage in behavior that would get you quickly arrested if shown in the human public sphere.” The New Yorker‘s “brave explorer” utterly fails to make his case. Bonobos are acquitted of all bogus charges, and now can go back to fondling each other with “affection.” And maybe now we humans can go back to enjoying them, studying them and trying to save them from imminent extinction. Hoka-Hoka!

“The Bonobo Way”: My Illustrated Interview with Dr. Richard Wrangham (who manages to stay friendly with all bonobo-related human political factions)

Peace through Pleasure. Bonobos Forever.