Retro Pierced Burlesque
Length: 102:43 minutes Date: 10/01/2011
Though last week at the Speakeasy began with a shocking betrayal (more on that later), things took a sweet turnaround when the Bonobo Gang, friends and lovers stepped out in our big black Obama bus to the 40th anniversary party at the Pleasure Chest, helping men, women and everyone in between hump comfortably since the 1970’s. And though we are still trying to repair the damage left in the toxic wake of our ex-producer’s rampaging exit, it’s nice to be able to take a break from all that to do a stimulating RadioSUZY1 show exploring the fine art of teaserama. That is, teasing…and pleasing, from saucy and retro to freaky and nouveau, where fetish meets burlesque for a body shot. Tonight’s guests range from blood orgy vamps who pierce themselves for your pleasure right on the air, to a whipped cream pie-playing, topless, cheesecake-style pin-up, burlesque dancer. Because why throw a pie in a face when you can slap it on some pretty titties and then lick it off?
Desiree Cantu-Yost: The hot MILF half of the Dolls & Dames sexy sister team dresses up for her virgin appearance on The Dr Susan Block Show in a tight polka dot dress and heels, paying homage to 40’s pinup. Continually insisting that she is “behind-the-scenes,” she has a ball at the bar and has to admit, when I inquire, that her husband must get very turned on by the fantasy of her sexy sister and her doing more than just working together.
Mindy Cantu: Dressed to the nines in her retro-red sheath, the dancing half of the sister team doesn’t actually dance on this show (remember, this incest fantasy-inspiring duo is behind—the-scenes!), though in the erotic after-party, we get several fabulous views of her ruffled pink panties as she dangles upside-down from the trapeze. Promoting their Dolls & Dames domain catering to the softer, “classier” side of fetishes, with a focus on the film noir femme fatale, Mindy smokes like a siren of nicotine dreams and bartends the Agwa for all the salty titty lickers.
Lucy Love: A college junior who wants to be a school teacher, this is not only luscious Lucy Love’s first time on The Dr Susan Block Show, the live broadcast serves as her “audition” for Dolls & Dames! She’s a sweet little Jewish girl whose retro-pin-up shorts and lederhosen are reminiscent of the kind of outdoorsy Fräulein extolled in Nazi propanganda. Paying almost literal homage to cheesecake, Lucy does a whipped-cream pie striptease. Things get a little messy after she whips around the stripper pole, and the key-lime gets smacked all over this tart’s red panties. She cashes those in for a tiny pink 911 thong from the Panty Boy Collection. After Tasia, Charlie and I lick all the pie from her glorious tits, Lucy speaks of her plans to join the Peace Corps. Lucy Love, we salute you.
Billy Vahan: Make that Billy Antiseptic, impeccably attired designer at House of Virtue, creator of beautifully crafted, waist-sucking corsets. He took on the “Antiseptic” name after surviving an extremely rare flesh-eating virus which gave him a special, piercing appreciation for pain. He performs erotically charged chest piercings upon his partner Marlo Marquis, and salivates openly when describing their private blood orgies.
Marlo Marquis: Burlesque-influenced House of Virtue co-owner, Marlo is also the sultry model of Antiseptic Fashions futuristic nouveau, stunning, 17 ½ inch-waisted, hard leather corset. She also donates her lovely, blemish-free upper bosom to Billy’s randomly artistic, somewhat sadistic, temporary chest piercings. Fortunately for the Speakeasy furniture, she’s not much of a bleeder, though her description of a recent Virtue House Bloody Maries made with real blood will make any vampire’s mouth water. Sweet, gentle, diabolical Marlo wins my heart by giving me a shiny metal Stockroom speculum (so useful!) and an Agwa salt lick off her exquisite naked, unpierced boobies.
Canaan Brumley: Our favorite award-winning independent filmmaker (Ears Open Eyeballs Click), with the Barry White voice, is now in the midst of editing his next masterpiece all about the Speakeasy. If you’d like to support this film, call 213.670.0066 and ask for David.
Afro Disiac: Enthusiastic nipple-licker and ex-nipple pierced dandy, AfroDisiac is still recovering from our wild ride on the big black Obama bus where her big brown cock (BBC) was the delicacy of the excursion.
Charlie Ninja: Visiting AfroDisiac and Amina from Florida, Charlie (another Obama bus party girl) lends her perky pretty titties to Lucy for her Agwa salt-licking initiation ritual.
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Betrayal, Haters, Lovers, The Art of the Tease, Teasing & Pleasing, Men Need to Be Teased Because It Makes Them Slow Down, Women Need to Be Teased Because It Makes Us Come Around, Bettie Page, Burlesque, Fetish, Dance, The Best Laid Plans May Not Get You Laid The Way You Planned, Retro to Nouveau, Incestuous Sister Act, Pleasure Chest 40th Anniversary, The Big Black Obama Bus, Betrayers Become Stalkers, Hollywood Sex Wars, Pie in the Face, Aesthetic Fetish, The Need to Feel Confined, Stronger Orgasms Through Fetish, Pain Releasing Endorphins, Bloody Mary Made of Blood and Vodka, Registered Nurses, Drunk Nurses, Sarcastic Mother Fuckers, Vampire Shots, Private Play in each Other’s Blood, Blood Orgy Hitler’s Taste in Fräuleins & Lederhosen, Eva Braun, Pie Fetish, Harriett’s Cheesecakes in Inglewood, Sploshing vs. Pie-ing, The Porn Clown Posse, The Suffering of Fetish Models, Fetish for Uncomfortable Beauty, Wearing Corsets while Fucking, Needles with Feathers, Needles with Fireworks, Sister Morphine, Crucified to a Vacuum Pump, Public Cervix Announcement, Private Blood Orgies, Bonobos
Retro Striptease & Dance On Stripper Pole, Whipped Cream Pie Dance, Licking Key Lime Pie Off Nipples, Licking Agwa Salt Off Nipples, 17 ½” Waist in Painfully Hard Leather Armor, Retro Strip Tease, Whipped Cream Nipples, Pudgies on Sugar Tits, Eating Whipped Cream, Modeling Hot & Cool Retro Dresses, Sister Act, New Titties Out, Chest Piercing, Taking Shots Between the Fishnets, Live Piercing, Hospital Style Needles, Two Pricks Are Better Than One, Flushing Chest, Random Stabbing Design, Bartender’s Agwa Testimonial, Panties in a Bottle, Speculum Gift.
Special thanks to Justine Middleton for editorial assistance on this bloggamy entry.