A Very Slappy SPANKSGIVING in BonoboVille
Here in BonoboVille, we find sexy ways to celebrate most holidays, even that quintessentially unsexy Fall Festival of Fat and Carbs when millions of Americans gather together with bickering relatives to feed on heaping helpings of mashed and candied calories in commemoration of the genocidal European invasion of this great land we call America.
So, after getting stuffed (which we do both gastronomically and sexually here in BonoboVille) on Thanksgiving Thursday—with digestion (or indigestion) and shopping on Black Friday—it’s time to leave the kids with a sitter*, clean up the spatulas, get out the paddles and celebrate SPANKSgiving Saturday night!
Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, after we “give thanks” on Thanksgiving for our blessings, we “give spanks” on Spanksgiving for our so-called sins, as well as for the sheer physical and psychological fun of whacking a set of nice, eager, well-toned, slightly quivering buns. Amen and Awomen.
This Spanksgiving features an overflowing banquet of spankers, spankees and celebrities, all engaged in or ogling a variety of spankings from over the knee (OTK), to shackled on the bondage cross, to a swat across a tempting behind as it sidles up to the bar.
We also talk about the impractical, unconstitutional and virtually unenforceable Measure B, and how LA County voters need to be spanked for passing that one—and will be, right in the pocketbook, if the porn industry actually leaves LA.
Thanksgiving or Spanksgiving, ’tis the season to give and give some more. Aside from our usual plea for the bonobos and Sandy victims, there’s the wonderful, award-winning, girl-girl porn star and single mom, Elexis Monroe, now facing a serious bone disease and in need of help from her friends and fans.
*but make sure the sitter doesn’t spank the kids. As the late great Gore Vidal said, “I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.” See Spanking 101 for why spanking children teaches them that violence is the answer and lowers their IQ. So spare the child and save your rod for your deliciously naughty adult lover. Slappy Spanksgiving!
Teal Conrad: Many adult starlets pretend to be college girls, but this 19-year-old UCLA freshman really is one. Teal leads a double life: studious communications major by day and wild cum-eating Twisty’s Treat/porn star by night. This is the first Thanksgiving she hasn’t spent with her Oregon family who have not yet come to terms with their promising daughter’s part-time job in porn. So instead of the usual turkey and fixings, she ate chicken and a shot of cum in a shotglass (delivered with a smile by her girlfriend’s hubby) for Thanksgiving. Teal screams like a turkey on the chopping block when she encounters my sweet innocent snake Eve, but otherwise gets right into the spirit of Spanksgiving. After sharing a few more cum recipes (cream pies for dessert, anyone?), she shares her physical charms, showing off her gorgeous, all-natural 34 D’s and very spankable bottom (having been spanked by her babysitter, she’s got a hint of a spanking fetish). In fact, she’s the first on DrSuzy.tv to receive a spanking this Spanksgiving, and we give spanks for that!
Natasha Star: This Polish porn princess happens to be Teal’s girlfriend whose husband poured her that festive Thanksgiving drink of his own cum in a shotglass. His name is Raul Estrella and though he doesn’t talk on RadioSUZY1, he lets his feelings be known via his T shirt which says “I <3 My Polish Wife. She and Raul are swingers, porn performers and just plain fun-loving folks. Natasha was spanked “a lot” as a child, since she was always “bad.” Now she prefers to give spanks, which she does (for the first time!) to her GF Teal. Then, caught up in the spirit of Spanksgiving, she turns around and offers her pretty Polish princess ass for the next spanking.
Sinn Sage: It’s been several months since Spanking Princess Sinn has graced our show with her glorious spankable ass and delightfully mischievous mind, so we’re thrilled to have her back with her BF. She reminds us that the best way to be a good spanker is to spend some time learning as a good spankee. Then she wallops Natasha’s bottom and a few more for good measure. We also talk about Elexis Monroe‘s urgent medical situation and encourage her other friends and fans to help her through this.
Danny De La Paz: Award-winning mainstream actor, probably most famous for playing Puppet, an incarcerated Mexican Mafia member ordered to kill his beloved brother (Little Puppet), in the wrenching 1992 Edward James Olmos film “American Me.” We talk about the horrifically non-consensual spankings and much worse (anal rapes, torture-killings, you name it) portrayed in and around the juvenile halls and prisons of “American Me.” He’s also here to promote his new film “Kill Kapone.” Openly gay, Danny seems to enjoy the Spanksgiving festivities; there are just girl-girl and boy-girl spankings (no boy-boy this time), but a butt’s a butt, after all. He also likes the sound of spanking which, he points out, is very much like the sound of making tortillas.
Goddess Soma Snakeoil: The Goddess is late, but as soon as she slides into her seat clad in a spectacular, rubber version of a 19th century bathing suit (or is it a sailor suit?) atop high lace-up Doc Martins, she gently but firmly takes command of the Womb Room—and the entire holiday of Spanksgiving. Last seen on DrSuzy.tv in “Rubber Bordello” (our show named after the title of her film) during which she first met Sinn (now they’re friends, co-stars and spanking buddies), Soma is spanking mistress to the spanking mistresses and proves it by administering a sound spanking to Sinn’s bare, super-bouncy bottom. Amazingly, when Soma was 14, her own mother asked her to switch roles and give her the spanking, perhaps to show how much it hurts to have to spank someone you love, though I suspect it helped turn her into the strong dominatrix she is today. But even the most powerful goddesses have soft sides, and Soma shows hers when she reveals her “secret”: a tiny tattoo across her inner lower lip that says “DADDY’S” which was forcibly (but consensually) applied by a team of masters under the instructions of her “daddy,” Fat Mike of NoFX.
Fat Mike: Lead singer and bassist of the seminal punk band NoFX, composer of the Rubber Bordello score, and part slave/part “daddy” of Goddess Soma (I call them “The Goddess and the Genius”), Mike practices what he preaches at the church of no belief. NOFX tunes like “Franco Un-American” helped me to survive the socio-political insanity of the Bush regime, so I’m always excited to have Mike on the show, even when he’s a little late. Well, he got his Spanksgiving “punishment” for that, actually a nice flogging on the Bondage Cross in the after-party.
Pippi: Goddess Soma’s adorable little submissive, aka “imp,” likes to put up her “paws” and pant, pretending to be a bear, even though she more closely resembles a horny little puppy. Tiny enough to squeeze into tight places, Pippi eats Sinn’s pussy as Soma spanks her. Then her own perfectly round, spankable butt gets walloped, first by her Goddess and later, in the after-party, by your darling doctor of spankology. Yum…Let us give spanks!
Starry Knight: Featured in our 2012 holiday greeting card, Starry’s butt is big and fleshy enough to take a double walloping from two of the world’s premiere spanking mistresses, Soma and Sinn. Then she transforms herself into an erotic Thanksgiving turkey by inserting a glass corn cob (cloaked in a Condomania condom) into her pussy. With that, Danny de la Paz dubs her the first “corn star.” Then she rides the Sybian as Soma, Sinn, Natasha, Teal and I all spank and paddle her ass to a rip-roaring Spanksgiving climax. A Corn Star is Born!
Master Liam: This veteran spanking master and BonoboVille resident gives an edifying lesson in the three “zones” of spanking, one leading directly to the pussy, on the upturned, acrobatic ass of his submissive partner Tasia, who happens to be the producer of The Dr. Susan Block Show.
Ed Furlong: Award-winning actor and star of numerous films and TV shows, most notably “Terminator 2” (as John Connor) and “American History X,” Ed drops by to say hi and promote his new film “The Zombie King.” He and Monica Keena (known for her roles as Abby on “Dawson’s Creek,” Kristin on “Entourage,” and Lori in “Freddy vs. Jason”) don’t get involved in the spanking, but they do seem to have a great time in BonoboVille.
Dane Cross: The AVN-award-winning porn star comes home for the holidaze to DrSuzy.tv. Dane is more of a spanker than a spankee, and gives no thanks for Measure B. He does give it some hard-hitting verbal spanks though.
Jimmy and Pete the Spanked Cameramen: its Jimmy’s, aka Fausto’s birthday, and his gift is a birthday spanking at the lovely hands of Teal and Natasha. Then Pete, one of our still cameramen who moonlights as an accountant, drops his drawers for his punishment, his huge hirsute posterior taking all the Spanksgiving wallops my team of spankers can dish out.
Shay Golden and Brock Hard: The first time they were on DrSuzy.tv (“Show sNOw Mercy”), Sir Brock and Lady Shay got a good spanking lesson. This time, between all the spankers, spankees and celebrities, they’re more in the background. But they seem to have a great time, and Shay gets a chance to test her cinematographic abilities wearing the new camera shades.
Weapons of Mass Discussion: Thanksgiving, Spanksgiving, Give Thanks on Thursday & Give Spanks on Saturday, Don’t Spank Your Children—Spank Consenting Adults Only, Elexis Monroe Needs Our Help, Hurricane Sandy, Eating Chicken on Thanksgiving & Drinking Cum Out of a Shotglass, Semen as a Food Group, Semen Recipes, Cream Pies, Double Life as Porn Star & UCLA Student, Measure B, A Full Body Rubber is the Only Way We Can Fully Comply with Measure B, Childhood Spanking Experiences, Maintenance Spanking, American Me, Terminator, Bonobos
Performance Erotica: Spanking, Spanking & More Spanking, Birthday Spanking, Flogging, Paddling, Striptease, Cunnilingus, Chinchilla Mitt Rubbing, Sybian Ride, Hula-Hooping, Rickshaw Riding, Agwa Shots, Absente Absinthe Shots, Stuffing a Vagina with a Glass Corn Cob covered with a Condomania Condom, Topless Hula-Hooping, Wild Rickshaw Rides, Naked Trapeze, More Spankings