Halloween in BOOnoBOOville. Photo: Ken Marcus

by Dr. Susan Block

Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners,
Witches and Bitches, Tramps and Vamps,
Masked Men of Mystery,
Role-Playful Women through History,
Belladonnas and Erotic Personas…

As Nights Grow Long from the Witches’ Hex,
Let Us Enter the Realm of Scary Sex.
There, There, Darling, Don’t Be Afraid:
T’is the Season of Masquerade!
So Come, All Ye Witches, Ye Dark Brides and Grooms:
T’is the Time to Hop on your Brooms,
Fly Past your Fears and Over the Years
Of Oppression, Repression, Being Burned at the Stake,
Stoned by the Sheiks, or Drowned in the Lake.
Time to Rise Up, Ye Sexual Renegades:
Join the Erotic Masquerade,
Straddle Your Flying Phallic Strap-On Brooms,
Turn On Your Vibrators-To-The-Moon.
Fly High In the Sky To That Wild Domain
Where the Witches Reign
As Goddesses and Porn Stars,
Protestors and Love Doctors…
Time to Put On Your Party Mask
As You Take Off your Daily Mask.
Time to Reveal What You Often Conceal
Your Erotic Persona
Your Inner Belladonna
Your Secret Identity
Your Bergmanesque Entity
Your Evil Twin
The Wizard Within…

Time to Awaken,
Stirred and Shaken,
Your Heart Beating Like a Bongo,
Your Blood Rushing Like the Congo…
Maybe You Meet Someone Who Looks Kind of Scary,
A Pirate, A Priest, A Fascist, A Fairy,
When Out of the Clear, With a Flick of the Tongue,
Those Shivers of Fear Turn to Passion and Fun.
Mixing Fear and Sex Creates Special Effects!
See, What Turns Us On Isn’t Always the Nicest.
So We’re Often Afraid of Just What Excites Us.
Or Are We Excited By That Which We Fear?
Both, My Dear…
It’s Biological…It’s Neurological…
And It Can Be Pathological.
So Be Careful, Consensual,
Practice Safe Sex, and Don’t Overdo…
And Stir This Recipe Into Your Witch’s Brew:
A Pinch of Fear Gets Your Mojo In Gear,
Like Heat in Your Mesquite,
But Too Much Fear Burns Your Meat.
Stick That in Your Bag of Tricks or Treat!
And This Halloween or Sometime Soon,
Take A Trip to The Moon on Your Vibrating Broom
Join the Erotic Masquerade!
Don’t Be Afraid…
Your Inner Witch Won’t Hurt You,
Unless You Really Want Her To.

So much for my fake-bloody stab at Halloween Poetry. Poetry will become reality this Saturday night, October 27th, when we celebrate the Season of Scary Sex with an old-fashioned orgiastic Hallowe’en Bacchanalia at Dr. Suzy’s legendary Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA. We’ve got an awesome roster of special guests, Porn Stars, Fetish Supermodels, Directors, Professors, Witches and Wizards getting ready to hop on their Magic Vibrating Brooms and guide us to Sexy Witch Heaven, including adorable Playboy TV “Girl-Next-Door” Cindy Pucci, statuesque Amazon Girl Darryl Hanah (erotic persona of Darryl Hannah), up-and-coming art porn director Jack the Zipper, fresh from his latest Playboy shoot, “Fuck the World,” a porn take-off on “Factory Girl,” the Edie Sedgewick/Andy Warhol film, here at the Speakeasy and more porn star hotties Page Morgan, Angelina Valentine, Chris Strokes, Jay Lassiter, Honey White, Fetish Supermodel Natalie Minx and more, as well as real “Girls-Next-Door” like our gals Cyn Moore and Lorelai. You can ogle them all on our Halloween Guest Page. Or come see them – and me – in the flesh! Conjure up a mask or a costume or just a new tattoo, fire up your vibrating broomstick and make your reservations.

If you can’t join us in the flesh, or if you’re afraid of meeting a real live witch or porn star, that’s okay, Scaredy-Cat, you can Join Us Backstage at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy and Watch the Hallowe’en Bacchanalia Fun from the soothing safety of your barcalounger or work station.

Speaking of fake bloody stabbings, we did the “Bloody Wallace” scene on my couch for Canaan Brumley’s Speakeasy movie last Saturday, and what a wild whacky scene it was! Sorry but I can’t say much more than that right now; top secret movie stuff, you know. Stay tuned…Also check out James Bartholet’s Adult News Flash interview with me at the LA Erotica Film Festival last month and take a sneak peek at the beautiful new 2008 Speakeasy Calendar.

Meanwhile, here at RadioSuzy1, we keep broadcasting awesome shows (listen live or check out the Radio Archives), talking with hot and cool people from Indiana to Iran, Brooklyn to Beijing. The world is shrinking before my ears, and the simple desire of people all around the globe to reach out and peacefully communicate, as well as erotically stimulate each other, through our little radio show is gratifying and humbling. Of course, despite the wonders of cybertalk, it’s always most fun to have our guests in-studio. A recent stand-out was this past Saturday’s show where I interviewed “Fuck the World” stars Natalie Minx, Jade Starr and Arachnia Webb about factory sex, horseback riding, bondage, caning and forced orgasm, after their wild shoot with Jack the Zipper here at the Speakeasy.

Then there was last Saturday’s show we did with Darryl Hanah, the porn star who looks just like the mainstream star of “Splash,” “Kill Bill” “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” and “Blade Runner” (where she memorably plays Pris the Replicant Pleasure Model). I knew Ms. Hanah was hot – a gorgeous blonde Supergirl-type who happens to look just like a young, slightly more voluptuous Darryl Hannah.

What I didn’t know was that Darry Hanah is a lovely individual with a strong streak of environmental consciousness (like her namesake) and a healthy disdain for the Bush Crime Family. And she has a charming hubby of 15 years, also in “the business,” Jack Fountain. Darryl and Jack talked with us about everything from their Poly-Orgasmic Marriage to politics and religion and, of course, fountains, both male and female. Darryl says she only squirts in private, so far. If she ever makes a Female Ejaculation DVD, she’s got to call it “Splash.”

Darryl will be one of the featured stars of our Hallowe’en Bacchanalia. Since the theme is “Come As Your Erotic Persona,” Darryl will come as herself: Darryl Hanah, the Erotic Persona of Darryl Hannah.

Shades of Liv Ullman and Bibi Andersson in the late great Ingmar Bergman’s seminal sixties film “Persona,” a surreal psychological horror movie. Both Liv and Bibi are two hot Scandinavian blondes who resemble each other (like both Darryls). In “Persona,” Liv is an actress who goes mute, seemingly out of sheer horror over the human condition, and Bibi is her garrulous private nurse who lives with her in a psychiatrist’s beach house on the rocky Swedish coast. Bibi and Liv nurture and torture each other, as they teasingly caress each other’s lovely bodies, generating a high level of lesbian heat. Are they lovers? Are they enemies? Are they two sides of the same woman? This was Liv’s first film with Ingmar and they were rapidly falling in love. At the same time, the director was ending his romance with Bibi, and was just emerging from a nervous breakdown. Critics have debated the meaning of “Persona” for decades, but there is no doubt that this film is quite scary and hauntingly erotic.

The eeriest moment is when Liv’s and Bibi’s faces fuse into one. This would be a simple task in Photoshop now. But in 1966, it was a cinematic revelation: two beautiful faces coming together to form a monster. Scary sex, indeed…

See you at the Hallowe’en Bacchanalia. Hop on Your Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom and Fly, Witches, Fly!