Sex & “The Republican Brain”
Length: 120:25 minutes Date: 08/25/2012
With another major U.S. election on the horizon, Republicans are talking crazier than ever. As one professes the doctrine of “legitimate rape,” others deny evolution and propose policies guaranteed to kill millions of jobs, strip women of our basic sexual rights, support the two biggest Welfare Queens in America—the military industrial complex and Wall Street—and reinvigorate the War on Porn and Freedom of Speech in general.
Truth, science and reason should prevail, but they just might not. So I decided it’s time to put on the rubber gloves and dissect The Republican Brain, opening this show with the best-selling author of the new book by that name, as he and my other guests discuss just what makes Republicans and neo-conservatives in general, and Tea Partiers in particular, tick, screw, believe in bogus political fairytales, repress any and all forms of non-procreative sex, rush to war and sometimes win elections. How are Republicans like common chimps while Democrats are more bonobo?
After such a brain-powered discussion, we let our bodies talk, as my porn star, rapper and Fetish Film Festival guests strip, rap and ride the Sybian, as well as play with the new Munkey-Barz, a Pipedream blow-up pig Tasia dressed up as a Republican elephant with my Kinky Eddie strap-on dildo representing his trunk, a “brain” Tori and Tasia made of foam and the in-studio stripper pole.
Brain food, eye candy and bonobo soup for the soul, all in one amazing show!
Chris Mooney: Calling in from the bright red state of West Virginia, but showing his liberal colors by being “Open” enough to venture onto my airwaves, Chris is the best-selling author of The Republican Brain: The Science of Why They Deny Science—and Reality , as well as The Republican War on Science. He kicks off the topic of the night with interesting information about why Republicans and Democrats appear to have different brain patterns, translating to very different approaches to politics, morality, science, sex and reality.
: Looking just like a Republican wet dream, Elaina appears as a sweet, blonde, 20-year-old angel with an actual white halo on top of her sun-kissed curls. But she’s a liberal through and through, as her blue flower print romper, matching high heeled sandals and “Open” attitude attest. Aside from Bridgette the Midget, Elaina might be the tiniest guest I’ve ever had on the show: Just 4’11” and 85 pounds. Unfortunately, she’s riding the Crimson Wave so she declines a ride on our Sybian (next time!), but she still has fun feeling up our oversized Republican Brain, blowing bubbles, stripping down to her panties and whirling around the stripper pole with Tasia.
Pressley Carter: Just on the cusp of 21, Pressley is a sexy, strong-willed tomboy who likes to “fuck bitches.” She explains her political philosophy thus: “I will do what the fuck I want to do and fuck who the fuck I want to fuck, on and off camera, and no politician better try and stop me.” She tries to get her friend Mr. Smith to either ride the Sybian or wear the Munkey-Barz, but he demurely refuses to do either so she does both and settles for him dry-humping her from behind with the Munkey-Barz as she rides the Sybian into rip-roaring orgasm.
Michael Simmons: Accompanied by his retro-sexy Nylon Girls to promote the return of the fabulous Los Angeles Fetish Film Festival (which I judged last year) in October 2012, Michael is the Orson Wells of fetish films in more ways than one. He joins in on the Republican Brain conversation, declaring that “all lobbying should be made illegal,” which we agree is a great idea but, as Chris states grimly, “It’ll never happen.” Then Michael surprises me and Max with gifts: a Jesus candle for Max and a plastic, doll-sized “play doctor” kit for me, in honor of my new honorary doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality). Having thus greased my palm, he asks me to be a judge again this year, and of course, I readily accept. Get ready for fetish fun and award-winning cinematography!
Josi Kat: A Piss-Ant-loving cinematographer/model with a hot new book of photos, Josi, in true punk fashion, doesn’t like the Democrats or the Republicans. She hasn’t been to the Speakeasy since we were at another undisclosed location. She doesn’t share her views on gun control, but she stomps up onstage in some huge, fierce-looking looking shoes with pistols for heels and bullet belts for straps. I wonder, if I don’t vote for the films she’s submitting to the LA Fetish Film Festival, will she shoot me with those?
Mr. Smith: Friend of Pressley and a talented rapper who likes to “get wiggy,” Mr. Smith shares a snippet of one of his raps, appropriately entitled “Elect ME”, and later, does an erotic freestyle for us. He also gets up on my bed to sit behind Pressley holding on to her Munkey-Barz during her Sybian ride, which he describes as like “riding a motorcycle.”
Casey Cumz: Not to be confused with Courtney Cums, Casey strips for us and rides the Sybian. She says she usually squirts on the Sybian but holds out this time, not so used to a live and somewhat leering studio audience. Actually, everybody keeps their panties on for this show, exhibiting understandable caution in light of the current syphilis epidemic in the porn industry—though we wrap our Sybian scrupulously in fresh saran wrap for every individual ride!
Tef Dollaz: The president of Munkey Barz comes with Pressley to promote his new, improved Munkey Barz which feature a softer, thicker lining. He also gives me a brand new set in white and silver. Thanks Tef!
Weapons of Mass Discussion: The Republican Brain: The Science Of Why They Deny Science- and Reality, Republicans Are the Biggest Welfare Users, Republicans Actually Pay For Hookers—Liberals Don’t, Most People Who Come to the Speakeasy are Democrats, But Most of My Phone Sex Therapy Clients are Republican, Republicans Like It From Behind, Drop Bras Not Bombs, The Los Angeles Fetish Film Festival, Josi’s Films, Conservatives Are Like Common Chimps & Liberals Are Like Bonobos, Should All Lobbying Be Made Illegal?, Republicans Have More Repressed Fantasies, We Are the Pervert Wing Of the Democratic Party, Republicans Should Try Living The Bonobo Way
Performance Erotica: Blue Lingerie Representing the Blue State of California, Investigating Our Giant Foam Republican Brain with Blue Rubber Gloves, Presenting a Blow-Up Pig Dressed Up as a Republican Elephant with a Strap-On Dildo for a Trunk, Heated Political Discussion, Munkey-Barz, Rapping, Stripping, Bubble-Blowing, Pole-Dancing, Absinthe Time, Panties for Panty Boy, Nylons, Josi’s Book, Pistol Heels, Multiple Sybian Rides & Orgasms
Multiple thanks, kudos and orgasms to the Dr. Susan Block Institute Staff here in BonoboVille for making this show possible.